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Monday, April 11, 2005

Mailvox: strike first and strike hard

TW shares some real world experience:

As a Christian having just gone through a unilateral divorce initiated by my wife I can honestly say I had no idea how corrupt the system was, people just really have no idea what kind of mess they can get into with a divorce.

When I found out my wife was cheating it was devastating, when she filed for divorce it was heart breaking, then the court ordered me to pay her boyfriend's rent ( we have no children, and she works ) … I cannot begin to describe the negative emotions and anger it generated, it’s as if the court was trying to get me to go postal.

$65,000 in legal fee’s later, financially ruined and more than a little bitter I learned a lesson that all men in the United States need to understand: The family court is nothing more and nothing less than a social engineering laboratory where every crackpot liberal idea that would never see the light of day if voted on by the people is carried out AGAINST the laws of the state and country.

There is too much money in this as an industry for the Government to ever let it go. The liberals love the dictatorial powers, the lawyers love the money, and the Judges love the power and the money. In WA state you are forced to use a mediator (after 1 year of legal battling) before you go to “Trial” to “help you settle out of court, that costs $600 per hour which is paid to retired judges (what a surprise) and if no agreement is reached then off to “Trial” for another 10K you go.

It seems to me that if a man is to have any chance of financially surviving a situation like this, he has to file for a fault-based divorce immediately. You can always forgive her and reconcile later, but you won't get the opportunity to pin the blame on her cheating once she files for no-fault.

This is where men, unaccustomed to viewing women as the enemy, are at a severe disadvantage. Women plot their divorces for months, if not years in advance; you need only check out a few women's forums to find numerous examples of this preparation. My father once overheard a woman on a plane instructing her married daughter to make nice with her estranged husband in order to get her name added to the house title before filing for divorce. It makes you wonder why these women were so hot and bothered to get married in the first place!

Another option, of course, is to simply ignore the whole process altogether and expatriate. Join Fred and company down in Mexico, drinking margaritas and dating signoritas. Sure, you won't be rich, but you won't be paying any alimony either and the chances are you'll be a good deal happier.

In any event, these are things men need to know before marrying. Go ahead and take the leap if you wish, but know precisely what you are risking before you do so. Men and women do their sons no favors when they hide these bitter possibilities from them prior to marriage.

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