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Sunday, May 21, 2006

The unbearable lightness of vaccuum

As is so often the case, parody can't keep up with the absurdities of the real thing:

1. Men hate me when they rape. I am lucky enough not to have been raped (yet), but I still feel that hate....

2. Men hate me when they use porn. They hate me when they come to my sisters being abused and raped. They hate me when they reduce me to two hands and three holes. They hate me when they use porn as a manual for sex, when they equate my worth to my ability to act like a porn star....

3. Men hate me when they type 'rape virgens' into google, or 'cut breasts fuck', or 'three men brutally rape woman'. (Check out the sitemeter posts over at the Den if you really need more evidence).

4. Men hate me when they harrass women in clubs, on the streets, in the park, in bars, on the beach, at the bus stop....

5. Men hate me when they buy lads mags and calculate how much their girlfriend costs per fuck.

6. Men hate me when they ask their girlfriends to get a boob job to spice up their sex life.

7. Men hate me when they make malicious, sexist jokes. Men hate me when they laugh at malicious, sexist jokes. You think I don't know that you really mean it?

8. Men hate me when they question women's right to equal pay / to have an abortion / to have sex without getting pregnant / to do anything that they have the right to do.

9. Men hate me when they buy women's bodies.

10. Men hate me when they sell women's bodies.

11. Men hate me when they pay money to control women in a strip club.

12. Men hate me when they write and profit from lyrics like this (Grab your titties for BIG)

13. Men hate me when they laugh at an anti-rape protest.

14. Men hate me when they attempt to justify/ deny /defend any of the above.

She left off number 15. Men hate me when they laugh at me for being such a self-centered, myopic little moron. I particularly enjoyed number eight, asserting that questioning any woman's legal action is equivalent to hating her. I marvel that anyone can read this and still believe that granting women the right to vote was anything but a complete and predictable disaster.

I think I'm going to join Emily's List. The USA is doomed anyhow, so just for kicks, let's see what would happen with a female President and a 100 percent female Senate and House of Representatives. My guess is that the tattered remnants of our civilization would be conquered by the militarily fearsome Grenada-Cuban alliance within eighteen months.

Third Wave feminism is the gift that keeps on giving. The First Wave was tragedy and the Second Wave was farce, the Third Wave is unconscious self-parody. Feministing describes it best:

Young, middle-class, college-educated white women are rarely given the opportunity to speak on our own behalf on issues that affect our lives and futures because we're so horribly and obviously oppressed. Feministing.org provides a platform for us to comment, analyze, whine about our unending victimization, and (best of all) COMPLAIN CEASELESSLY!

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