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Sunday, July 29, 2012

Mailvox: an alternative theory

As my prediction of Obama's decision to refuse the Democratic nomination and retire to the global equivalent of the rubber chicken circuit looks less and less likely, a deep government insider emails me his outline of future events:
Sometime in the next four to six weeks (no less than four but no more than eight at the absolute outside):

1. VP Joe Biden announces that for health reasons, he is leaving the ticket -- not leaving office immediately, but to leave office at the end of his term.

2. After a huge, agonizing, public display of, "Oh God no! What ever will we do?" milked for at least a week of prime time and front-page media coverage and a whole lot of talking head blathering about the looming "Constitutional Crisis," Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reluctantly agrees to take the VP slot on the ticket.

3. Mitt Romney -- ah, who gives a shit what he does? Whatever it is, it will be pathetically ineffective, irrelevant, and a day late and a dollar short.

4. On November 6, 2012, propelled by the overwhelming power of the stupid black, white bitch, dumb college kid, and pussified liberal male vote, the Obama-Clinton ticket absolutely fucking steamrolls the Republicans, and brings along with it filibuster proof Democratic majorities in the Senate, House, and most state government assemblies.

5. Sometime between November 6, 2012, and January 20, 2013, some horrible truth about Obama is revealed -- pick one, it doesn't matter -- and all the built-up scandals finally come to a head and erupt in a massive public denunciation of the man. Eric Holder ends up being indicted and arrested by his own people. Team Obama goes to the mattresses in the White House but in the end, in mid-January, as Meet the Press is seriously discussing whether the Secret Service has the authority to arrest the President, the outcry becomes so massive that he must step down -- and turn the office over to VP Joe Biden.

6. Biden immediately does a "Night of the Long Knives" thing, purging all those corrupt Obamunists who were the cause of everything that's wrong with the country.

7. On January 20, 2013, with his place in history as America's 45th President assured, Biden is downright honored to turn the office over to the new President, Hillary Clinton, and the media rejoice at this triumph of the American electoral system, that our long national nightmare is behind us, and that freedom and justice have been restored.

8. Only much later do honest historians, if any still exist, realize that this was in fact a brilliantly executed Stalinist coup of the first order.
Color me dubious. Among other things, I don't see Democrats doing well in the state-wide elections. But if it is Biden who steps down, rather than Obama, we'll know the theory is in play. Also, the total ineptitude of Team Clinton during the 2008 campaign makes me doubt that they can pull off anything that is even more complicated than simply knowing what the rules of the nomination are. They might have the ruthlessness, but they don't have the necessary eye for detail.

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71 Comments:

Anonymous Lysander Spooner July 29, 2012 10:54 AM  

If Hitlery becomes
potus the epitaph for America will have be written in stone.

Anonymous JartStar July 29, 2012 10:55 AM  

I remember everyone saying that Cheney was going to step down due to heart issues setting up for a strong GOP replacement after Bush. That didn't happen either. Predictions like this are similar to guessing where the Dow will be in a year.

Anonymous III July 29, 2012 11:01 AM  

Obama will be found in an dark alley with his pockets full of coke in Mena, Arkansas.

Blogger IM2L844 July 29, 2012 11:39 AM  

If Hitlery becomes
potus the epitaph for America will have be written in stone.


We have already gone over the precipice and just because we haven't reached the turbulent rollers at the base yet, doesn't mean we can ever hope to swim back up the waterfall.

Anonymous SDH July 29, 2012 11:40 AM  

If the Clintons were able to do this they would have done it in 2008.

I am also doubtful, though I don't know how reliable the source is.

Anonymous Orville July 29, 2012 11:42 AM  

Nah. Two points of interest...The Kansas City "Red" Star said this morning that presidential race in the bell weather state of Missouri is over with Romney already leading by 8 points. Then you have Cue Ball Carville saying the Dems are going to have to "go through hell and high water to win in November".

If we are talking wild-ass conspiracies, then I'm more apt to go with a concurrent financial meltdown and war with Iran, Syria, Israel and their puppet masters.

Anonymous Azimus July 29, 2012 11:43 AM  

I can buy the Biden step-down thing... His appointment was basically a spoils appointment for a lifetime of loyal service... But the rest? None of it makes any sense unless you make the illogical assumption that a Clinton-Obama ticket is something the country actually wants.

Blogger El Borak July 29, 2012 11:44 AM  

I don't see Democrats doing well in the state-wide elections.

They won't. And with newly-Republicanized Congressional districts from sea to sea, there is little chance the Dems will win back the house - they absolutely need a W-style Republican in charge upon which the electorate can focus its extreme disappointment. Dems may hold the Senate, but the idea they will pick up so many seats when they are defending twice as many as the GOP is unlikely enough to power the Heart of Gold.

Anonymous Orion July 29, 2012 11:47 AM  

Honest historians? Most of them have done what I did and dropped out of academia. The real accounts of history from this period will be principally personal accounts or works by people who don't have the "credentials".

Anonymous john July 29, 2012 11:53 AM  

How about this extrapolation after the coup? A shooting war (tho brief) between the Philippines and Chinese occupiers in the South China sea as the Chinese test a newly minted president Hillary? Then to everyone's surprise the 'what is a military for if don't use it' Hillary makes an appearance. Just because we are expecting financial apocalypse doesn't mean we could not be in for the real fire in the skies version.

Anonymous Salt July 29, 2012 12:32 PM  

Since it is perceived that Mittens is no better / no worse than Obama, either being an extension of the status quo, which HILLARY! would also be, if Obama is seen as a negative in the long run by TBTB -

Just crash the markets.

Anonymous Cryan Ryan July 29, 2012 12:32 PM  

HAHA! Loved it.

Hillary appears to be pretty much worn out, but then she may be sandbagging.

Anonymous Faust July 29, 2012 12:44 PM  

This sounds like way too much wishful thinking for me.

Anonymous Holla July 29, 2012 12:56 PM  

Man, if people are going to just make shit up, at least put aliens and freemasons in it.

Blogger Galt-in-Da-Box July 29, 2012 1:04 PM  

Plausably deniable.
This guesswork must have been written by the same CIA dumbass who wrote the Batman shooter narrative!

Anonymous bw July 29, 2012 1:05 PM  

The real accounts of history from this period will be principally personal accounts or works by people who don't have the "credentials" - Orion

..and who were simply honest, truth-seekers. Absolutely.
+1

Anonymous Luke July 29, 2012 1:10 PM  

I still hope that one day Obongo will be caught in a Sandusky moment, with his schlong in a little boy. Even the Afro-Commies would hate to speak his name in public in the future, much preferable to how we still near-constantly hear about St. Martin King the Marxist/plagiarist/wife-cheater.

Anonymous Dunkman July 29, 2012 1:55 PM  

If this clown is actually a government higher-up, then federal employees are even bigger retards than I thought. Hillary doesn't deliver any voters that Obama wasn't going to get already.

Anonymous kh123 July 29, 2012 2:15 PM  

"Man, if people are going to just make shit up, at least put aliens and freemasons in it."

Not sure if Christopher Walken will be available this year.

Anonymous weak July 29, 2012 2:22 PM  

The Clintons are ruthless enough to do Absolutely anything to get elected. If only someone would tell them what it is to do. Figuring things out isn't their strong suit.

Anonymous Anonymous July 29, 2012 2:40 PM  

"If this clown is actually a government higher-up, then federal employees are even bigger retards than I thought. Hillary doesn't deliver any voters that Obama wasn't going to get already."

I agree, in fact it occurred to me last week that her gal pal Huma would cost Hillary the support she had in 2008 with blue collar voters.

Anonymous Rantor July 29, 2012 2:47 PM  

I would nominate it for a Hugo. As Vox says though, if Joe bows out, who knows?

Anonymous MikeH July 29, 2012 2:59 PM  

I am really in disbelief that someone that is a "deep govt insider" would really believe that this is going to be the narrative. It requires corporation from political operatives that have so many double-secret probations, agendas and power lust I doubt this could happen. To pull something like this off you need zealots like those in the various three letter agencies or military.(think Gordon Liddy types).

Anonymous Gen. Kong July 29, 2012 3:10 PM  

Entertaining read if nothing else. I agree with the alleged deep-throater that the Repukes are going to lose - they have no intention of winning. Note that weepin' Johnny and the brokeback boys have already caved on their supposed opposition to the contraceptive/abortion mandates of Obamacare. They'll assume the position as soon a Benny and the Feds demand another increase in the debt ceiling as well. Repukes might not lose as big as the writer claims but Mittens will go down in an underoos flambée.

Anonymous Johnny Reb July 29, 2012 3:14 PM  

Now that is some funny fantasy shit right there!

Ok, maybe I could see Biden stepping aside. Maybe I could see Hillary accepting the VP slot though I doubt it. She loathes Obama and to suck it up to be VP? Seriously?!? Sec of state, gives her way more power and recognition than VP ever would. So unless she and Bill have something on O or know someone who does, it's all a big fantasy. Like Bill she's ruthless, unlike Bill she has all the charm of a tapeworm. I'm not sure even the dems would rally behind her crazy, cankled ass. It would have to be a gimme like Vox's post and I don't see that happening but it would be fun to watch.

Anonymous Other Josh July 29, 2012 3:44 PM  

The Clinton political machine is absolutely ruthless. I think Obama is smart enough to keep them close... but not too close. Hillary could devour him in a minute... zombie style!

Anonymous cherub's revenge July 29, 2012 4:16 PM  

4. On November 6, 2012, propelled by the overwhelming power of the stupid black, white bitch, dumb college kid, and pussified liberal male vote, the Obama-Clinton ticket absolutely fucking steamrolls the Republicans[Mitt Romney]...

The only sane prediction in the bunch.

Anonymous Godfrey July 29, 2012 5:01 PM  

Number 3 has the highest probability. My estimate is 99.9999999999999999999%

Anonymous Godfrey July 29, 2012 5:03 PM  

You know it's bad when Hitlery begins to look like a step up.

Anonymous Noah B. July 29, 2012 5:10 PM  

My prediction: Obama will have a Dave Chappelle/Mark Sanford moment and suddenly disappear from public life. After days of curiously nonchalant denials that he is missing, his cabinet and czars will finally admit that they have no idea where he is. Weeks later, he'll be found in a commune in the Marshall Islands.

Anonymous The other skeptic July 29, 2012 5:14 PM  

Obama should dump Biden and put Justice Scalia on the ticket

Anonymous patrick kelly July 29, 2012 5:14 PM  

First woman POTUS is beneath Hitlery at this point in history. Best legacy she could hope for would be the American Thatcher, and that's not special enough to keep her hamsters happy. Her presidential tingle ended in 2008.

Anonymous patrick kelly July 29, 2012 5:17 PM  

Re: Scalia

He's right, guns can be regulated. Guns *are* regulated in some ways by the Fed Gov't, therefore they can be regulated.

Whether these are constitutional regulations or whether they should be more strictly regulated is a different question.

Anonymous ENthePeasant July 29, 2012 5:18 PM  

For all you big doubters, if this happened slowly over a few weeks none of you would likely even remember this prediction. It sounds unlikely but lets looks at what's happened since 2000? We are damn close to full blown totalitarian dictatorship. Let's just go to one single item for that fiction book I'm writing. An attack on the WTC by Islamic terrorists which leads to something called "the Department of Homeland Security", and organization staffed with Walmart rejects (that may be too kind), which spends their days stealing from passengers, groping and pushing around the American people just cuz they can. If I wrote that in book form it would be laughed off by a loving wife... if there is such a thing. I can hear it now, "The American people would never stand for such a thing."

Anonymous Godfrey July 29, 2012 5:26 PM  

Look at the bright side. The global elites will allow two freedoms. We'll still be free to murder our unborn children in the womb and we'll be able to take it up the #%@. For the vast dumbed-down majority, that's all that matters anyway.

I begin to understand what life must have been like for the vast majority of people through-out history - no power, no freedom, no wealth, no hope.

Anonymous FUBAR Nation (Ben) July 29, 2012 5:38 PM  

Sounds like a load of horse dung.

Anonymous Kickass July 29, 2012 6:30 PM  

I am beginning to have overwhelming respect for Noah. I think God gave him the ark to build to keep his mind off the overwhelming evil rushing in.

And I agree, this theory is way too tame and lacking in imagination. I am hoping hillary goes all out warlord and pulls a coup lead by special forces amazons and the green beret LGBT squad. We would never see them coming. We would assume it was some kind of pride parade.

Anonymous Shutterbug July 29, 2012 6:58 PM  

"Man, if people are going to just make shit up, at least put aliens and freemasons in it."

And a wereseal. Don't forget the wereseal.

Anonymous Stilicho July 29, 2012 7:35 PM  

The more I see and learn, the more I subscribe to the conspiracy theory of history. After all, who thought a cabal of half dozen predatory banksters and politicians, one of whom was an admitted bag boy for the Rothschild cartel, could take over the entirety of the American banking and financial sectors merely by telling Congress that it had to be done to protect the people from predatory banksters. That party line is still repeated today by the successors of those original banksters with hardly a quibble from the shorn and bleeding sheeple who mostly fail to understand the financial rape they experience on a daily basis.

Anonymous FP July 29, 2012 7:51 PM  

Highly unlikely but an amusing theory. Hilldog has been quiet lately on her tour of the mid-east and africa. She got jeered in Egypt with chants of "monica" and one rumor I heard was her convoy was attacked while in Israel.

Anonymous The other skeptic July 29, 2012 8:20 PM  

Obama should dump Biden for Justice Scalia and then maybe he can get his gun-control legislation through.

Of course, the Clinton Claque could still release damaging info about Obama at any time.

Blogger Beefy Levinson July 29, 2012 8:20 PM  

"I can imagine it happening without involving a contradiction," does not mean "It is actually possible in reality."

Joe backing out is within the realm of possibility. No way would Hilz agree to be Barry's VP. If they had anything on him, they'd have used it four years ago. If they have something in him now, Hilz becomes guilty through association in the eyes of the average voter.

Anonymous The other skeptic July 29, 2012 8:27 PM  

Heh, it seems more likely that Michelle Obama will run for the senate in a state where there are lots of blacks and too many Republican senators ...

Anonymous Anonymous July 29, 2012 8:39 PM  

Hill is taking rejuvenation treatments to look good for 2016.

Mitt will be looking like Obummer is now. She will claim the Presidency similar to the way Jerry Brown was rehabilitated to be Gov. of California again.
Never under estimate the Clintons. They are like a black hole, you know you are gonna die, but the pull is so irresistible.

Anonymous Mr. Nightstick July 29, 2012 9:07 PM  

The question is: How deep a Government Insider™ are we talking about here?

Anonymous zen0 July 29, 2012 9:22 PM  

All this foofaw could be avoided if you make your Head of State a monarchist instead of the mere President of the Senate, as the position originally was conceived. You don't have to worship a monarchy like you do a President.

As it is, you Americans must just lie in the bed you made.

If you need any suggestions as to a useful monarchy, W. Lindsey Wheeler must have some ideas.

Anonymous zen0 July 29, 2012 9:27 PM  

From the movie Unforgiven


English Bob: [discussing the assassination of President Garfield] Well there's a dignity royalty. A majesty that precludes the likelihood of assassination. If you were to point a pistol at a king or a queen your hands would shakes as though palsied.
Barber: Oh I wouldn't point no pistol at nobody sir.

English Bob: Well that's a wise policy, as wise policy. But if you did. I can assure you, if you did, that the sight of royalty would cause you to dismiss all thoughts of bloodshed and you would stand... how shall I put it? In awe. Now, a president... well I mean...
[chuckles]
English Bob: why not shoot a president?

Anonymous The other skeptic July 29, 2012 9:38 PM  


The question is: How deep a Government Insider™ are we talking about here?


A veritable Manchurian Candidate.

How many people know that some Taiwanese Chinese changed their names to Shaw because the original could not be pronounced?

(Original is 肖 and spelled Xiao1 in pinyin but Hsiao in one of the other transliterations, esp from Taiwan.)

Anonymous marcus marcellus July 29, 2012 9:55 PM  

America is a client state of Israel. Mitt is wailing at the wall as I type. He has fellatioed the symbolic Jewish member. Mitt wins in a very, very close election and takes both chambers. Blacks riot. Holder is arrested. The money changers slip through and remain in power. After more security state, DHS crack-downs, America starts 2013 at war, a full-blown fascist-Jewish police state. Goldman still in charge. White proles poorer but placated by Obama's loss and the neocon petriotic bullshit that makes their eyes water. I read about it from my house in Austria, laughing.

Anonymous The other skeptic July 29, 2012 10:03 PM  

He has fellatioed the symbolic Jewish member.

At least it was circumcised.

Anonymous paradox July 29, 2012 10:15 PM  

The other skeptic July 29, 2012 10:03 PM

He has fellatioed the symbolic Jewish member.

At least it was circumcised.


Well it wouldn't be the first time fellatio and circumcision went together.

Anonymous zen0 July 29, 2012 10:22 PM  

Up here in Canada, we are commemorating the War of 1812.

I believed we burned down your sacred White House.

Maybe you should follow suit.

Anonymous Godfrey July 29, 2012 10:44 PM  

ZenO,

Thank you. Can you please do it again? Please plow it over and sow it with salt this time.

Anonymous The other skeptic July 29, 2012 10:50 PM  

In Spain, abortion rights are more important than the economy or jobs

Maybe the Lizard Queen will energize young women in the US against those evil vagina probing anti-abortionists in the republican party.

Blogger IM2L844 July 29, 2012 11:10 PM  

Well, I just finished reading the "Obama is Bad" column at WND and I'm reasonably certain it will get more comments than last week's column, but it still may have been a bit too erudite for some of the elect WND readership.

Anonymous The other skeptic July 29, 2012 11:25 PM  

Now we know what the 40M .40 cal rounds are for ...

If you don't vote for Obama you are a terrorist!

Blogger Joshua_D July 29, 2012 11:29 PM  

You already got eight comments on the Obama is bad column, Vox, just three more and your premise will be correct! Obama, he sho is bad!

Blogger Joshua_D July 29, 2012 11:31 PM  

The other skeptic July 29, 2012 11:25 PM
Now we know what the 40M .40 cal rounds are for ...

If you don't vote for Obama you are a terrorist!


150 sets of gear? That's it? What are they going to do with 150 overweight DHS goons? Cordon off a street?

Anonymous The other skeptic July 29, 2012 11:47 PM  


150 sets of gear? That's it? What are they going to do with 150 overweight DHS goons? Cordon off a street?


Dude, are you some sort of Government stooge trying to convince us that the Government loves us?

Anonymous The other skeptic July 30, 2012 12:09 AM  

Multiple victim shooting seem to be more prevalent in gun-control Europe

Anonymous The other skeptic July 30, 2012 12:55 AM  

But the choice you face couldn't be bigger!

I'm Barack Obummer.

(Actually, I think that four more years of Barack Obummer is what we need.)

Anonymous Gx1080 July 30, 2012 7:29 AM  

Heh. That predicition is funny.

But come on, if the Obama team could have named Hillary as VP, *they would have already done so*.

Fact is, Hillary Clinton doesn't want to be VP, because: a)She broke down and cried on 2008 against Obama and b)She's very confortable as Secretary of State, selling the Bankster's lies and sending young men to die for the Feminazi utopia on the Middle East.

Anonymous Mr. B.A.D. July 30, 2012 7:38 AM  

my prediction is that Barry wins and that sometime in his 3rd year of the new term some crisis occurs, probably with American deaths, and Barry asks congress to vote him emergency powers to stay in office until the crisis is dealt with..... and yes this is the plot of the star wars prequel trilogy.

Blogger LP 999/Eliza July 30, 2012 8:32 AM  

Whatever happens, I'll be happy.

Blogger Joshua_D July 30, 2012 9:01 AM  

The other skeptic July 29, 2012 11:47 PM

Dude, are you some sort of Government stooge trying to convince us that the Government loves us?


No, I'm just not as afraid of the gov as some folks I know. The gov is outnumber, probably outgunned, and definitely fatter than we the people. If the people decide they have had enough, it's game over. Of course, that's a big "if."

Anonymous Jimmy July 30, 2012 10:43 AM  

"a deep government insider"

Insider to the Obama Administration? These predictions sound like wishful thinking than a true prediction. It is quite bad and not to be taken seriously. Not even one item appears even remotely close to reality.

Anonymous Realist July 30, 2012 11:59 AM  

One of the problems with this analysis is that it overlooks BHO's obvious value to the lefties as a martyr. The Camelot mythology surrounding the Kennedy's would be small time compared to what they could do with this. Plus, the Lizard Queen could use it as an excuse to round up everyone who opposed her.

Anonymous George July 30, 2012 5:39 PM  

You're joking right? VD predicted that Obama would step down? Really? When? Can I get some of those drugs too?

Anonymous DrTorch July 30, 2012 7:30 PM  

An alternate suggestion:

http://maggiesfarm.anotherdotcom.com/archives/20262-Stepping-stones.html

"Obama doesn't seem to enjoy being President much. Does he seem to revel or bask in the glow? Numerous reports indicate he easily becomes frustrated with the political process. It is singularly clear he thinks himself the smartest man in the room, no matter the room. Some say he doesn't listen to his advisors. He doesn't attend the usual meetings. Apparently, he hasn't attended the economic briefing in almost a year. He simply isn't presidential. This is hard to quantify, but most will agree he doesn't have that elusive 'it'. His speech, dress, actions and words (not to mention bowing and scraping before foreign leaders) just don't state, "I'm the leader of the most powerful nation on earth."

While he is attempting to fundamentally transform America, and succeeding on numerous fronts, think what he could do from the Supreme Court bench for 30+ more years.

Justice Obama.

Excuse me, make that Chief Justice Obama.

-more-"

Anonymous Anonymous July 31, 2012 4:48 AM  

either you're insane or you have too much time on you hands. lol.

Anonymous Incredulous August 16, 2012 9:41 AM  

Is this actually going to happen?

http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/today-day_650058.html

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