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Tuesday, August 07, 2012

South African science

Lightning is raciss!
Following a spate of deaths from lightning in the province of Natal, Nomsa Dube of the Provincial Executive Council promptly called on the National Department of Science and Technology to investigate what causes lightning:

We will do an investigation and talk to the department of science and technology on what is the cause of the lightning, and if it only happened to the previously disadvantaged, as I have never seen any white people being struck by lightning.
At least Americans and Europeans will have the benefit of a nice object lesson in what happens when a civilized nation hands over the keys of government to the previously disadvantaged in South Africa. Certainly no one appears to have learned anything from the fate of Rhodesia/Zimbabwe.

Labels:

76 Comments:

Blogger Rahul August 07, 2012 1:09 PM  

Where do you get these articles?

Anonymous The CronoLink August 07, 2012 1:16 PM  

You've got to be kidding me, man......

Anonymous cherub's revenge August 07, 2012 1:30 PM  

Meet the afronauts: Hilarious pictures poke fun at infamous Zambian space programme (which never quite got off the ground)

Blogger Joe A. August 07, 2012 1:30 PM  

Good lord. You can't make this stuff up, can you...

Anonymous Lysander Spooner August 07, 2012 1:35 PM  

The Lysenko vapors must be wafting south, they have been in the USSA for some time now.

Anonymous Salt August 07, 2012 1:35 PM  

Has to be the Onion. Has to.

Anonymous Wendy August 07, 2012 1:41 PM  

...as I have never seen any white people being struck by lightning.

Oi, see Retief Goosen. I'm not even a golf fan and I know about him. And frankly, I doubt he has seen a black person being struck by lightning.

Anonymous Angel August 07, 2012 1:45 PM  

Most AWESOME quote ever. I bet the scientists will take YEARS to come up with their conclusions (and a bit of money). Off to go dance in the lightening storm since I am white as they come.

Anonymous Starbuck August 07, 2012 1:49 PM  

We will do an investigation and talk to the department of science and technology on what is the cause of the lightning, and if it only happened to the previously disadvantaged, as I have never seen any white people being struck by lightning.

I am guessing that white people have enough brains to come inside out of the rain. Naww... Couldn't be.

Anonymous Josh August 07, 2012 1:50 PM  

There's no way this is real, is there?

Will the last white person leaving south africa turn off the lights?

Anonymous Clay August 07, 2012 1:54 PM  

I suspect an innate propensity to hang around trees could be a determining factor.

Blogger WarKicker August 07, 2012 1:57 PM  

Wasn't a NASCAR fan just killed by lightning yesterday? I bet he was white.

Lightning is also sexist as it kills by far more men.

Blogger WarKicker August 07, 2012 2:10 PM  

It strikes me that South Africa has a deficiency in keraunopathists.

Blogger JDC August 07, 2012 2:10 PM  

They've taken everything we have...and not just from us! From our father's and our father's father's. (And from our father's father's father's father's).

What have they ever given us in return?

Blogger finndistan August 07, 2012 2:10 PM  

we are all equal...

Anonymous cherub's revenge August 07, 2012 2:12 PM  

You've got to be kidding me, man.....

Why would anyone think they're kidding? Right here in America we have a sitting Black congresscritter who is concerned that Guam may tip over due to the Navy overloading one side. And he's high yeller. 85 is a bitch man.

Anonymous Noah B. August 07, 2012 2:19 PM  

But as we all know, the best way to prevent being struck by lightning is to rape virgins.

Anonymous Mrs. Pilgrim August 07, 2012 2:22 PM  

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Dube-calls-for-lightning-probe-20110103

You're welcome.

Blogger Professor Hale August 07, 2012 2:25 PM  

@ Noah, no, that is the cure for AIDS. The cure for lightning is anal sex with prostitutes. Keep your folk remedies straight.

Blogger Giraffe August 07, 2012 2:45 PM  

Even in South Africa, science is making great strides for man.

Anonymous Foghorn August 07, 2012 2:56 PM  

It’s worth noting that the phrase “…and if it only happened to the previously disadvantaged, as I have never seen any white people being struck by lightning.” is not in the original article and seems to originate from “Robdbn” at the News 24’s “user-generated section, MyNews24.   

Hannes (and Theodore) should be more careful about their sources. 

Of course, its still funny, even without the addition.

Anonymous Frankie Bacon August 07, 2012 2:59 PM  

Well, at least it's a falsifiable hypothesis which makes it at least a zillion times more sciencey than Anthropogenic Global Warming.

Anonymous kh123 August 07, 2012 3:08 PM  

Found the culprit.

Anonymous DrTorch August 07, 2012 3:15 PM  

Climate science.

Blogger Clint August 07, 2012 3:16 PM  

Good Lord... anything we say is simply anticlimactic...

Anonymous Frankie Bacon August 07, 2012 3:17 PM  

Rebuttal?

Anonymous Contemplationist August 07, 2012 3:17 PM  

Unfortunately the pussies in the South African government itself were trying to ingratiate themselves to the Worldwide Democratic Revolution (TM) by pissing on Rhodesia back in the day. Look where it got them.

Anonymous Anonymous August 07, 2012 3:19 PM  

... for those of you that wants to get a more cynical view of South Africa, just read Mike Smith's Political Commentary ...

http://mikesmithspoliticalcommentary.blogspot.com/

... and since you're a voracious reader Vox, read up on the Battle of Cuito Cuanavale ...

http://www.rhodesia.nl/cuito.htm

Anonymous Kyle In Japan August 07, 2012 3:27 PM  

That Zambian space program article was hilarious. Has Daily Mail turned into The Onion?

Anonymous Joe Doakes August 07, 2012 3:29 PM  

I followed the link. She did call for an investigation into what causes lightning. But the "White people" quote doesn't appear in that news article and I can't find it in an original source, just endlessly repeated by bloggers. Are we sure it's real?

Anonymous Noah B. August 07, 2012 3:36 PM  

"That Zambian space program article was hilarious."

Words are simply inadequate here.

Anonymous JartStar August 07, 2012 3:42 PM  

There's no verification that I can find that Nomsa Dube said anything about white people not being struck, and it looks like a later add.

I'll go ahead and be the Debi Downer and point out that a father who just returned from church had to carry his dead two year old son out of his house as it burned.

But don't let that get in the way of yucking it up over a likely false quote.

Anonymous willneverpostagain August 07, 2012 4:35 PM  

Ben Franklin studies lightning in the 1700's.

South African "majority" leader demands investigation into lighting: 2012.

I can't wait until my great great grandchildren have favored minority status in South Africa circa A.D. 2300. Don't even need to change the acronym (National Association for Advancement of Caucasian People)!

Anonymous VD August 07, 2012 5:22 PM  

I'll go ahead and be the Debi Downer and point out that a father who just returned from church had to carry his dead two year old son out of his house as it burned.

Was that father Nomsa Dube of the Provincial Executive Council? If not, what does that have to do with this? You might have also pointed out that a family in England just learned their 12 year old daughter's body was found in a nearby woods.

How can you entertain yourself playing Debi Downer when girls in England are being found dead? Shame on you, sir! Shame on you!

Anonymous JartStar August 07, 2012 5:42 PM  

Was that father Nomsa Dube of the Provincial Executive Council?

No, but he is the father in the story who lost his family to lightning. The tragedy doesn't justify Nomsa Dubes comments, but it is related.

Anonymous Anonymous August 07, 2012 5:49 PM  

Will the last white person leaving south africa turn off the lights?
Why? Leave the lights on and make it easy for the kaffirs to steal the bulbs.

Anonymous Anonymous August 07, 2012 5:58 PM  

I am a white South African In South Africa. Travelled much, lived here my whole life. Fought in the bush war for 3 years, back in the 80's.
Mt common-law wife is English, and has lived here for 20 of her 46 years. She does not want to go back to Britain.( or anywhere else ).

Vox, you are an intelligent fellow.But, as you and I know, reporting standards in the MSM are at pre-primary school level.
Please check the articles well before you comment on them.

Anonymous kh123 August 07, 2012 6:18 PM  

Zeus be racist.

Anonymous realmatt August 07, 2012 6:43 PM  

I don't understand the white people who refuse to leave South Africa.

Your ancestors went there by force and subjugated these people. Ok, that's the history of just about every nation everywhere, but you're losing and it's time to leave.

You have no claim to this place. You're living there at your own risk.

Nothing worse than a lazy imperialist. You just can't half ass these things.

Anonymous Idle Afrikaner Spectator August 07, 2012 6:57 PM  

This is not a joke.

There was a story out of the Democratic Republic of the Congo how some policemen had a kept a group of goats locked up in the local jail due to them misunderstanding a law. But we are all equal.


I still miss Nelson Mandela. You could disagree with him politically, but at least the man had a brain.

And yeah, his ex-wife Winnie was a total bitch.
But I think we've all been there before.

Right? Right? //elbow nudge

Am I right fellas?

Anonymous VD August 07, 2012 7:38 PM  

Please check the articles well before you comment on them.

Right, that's going to happen....

Anonymous Tico August 07, 2012 7:48 PM  

Theo said "Right, that's going to happen....

Doh, pesky second hand, non-eyewitness accounts...

Blogger Clutch cargo cult August 07, 2012 7:49 PM  

Studying the history of SA and Rhodesia has been a hobby of mine of late. A tragedy what has happened but I cannot see a different outcome given the forces of history at work. People in this country should learn something from it

Anonymous p-dawg August 07, 2012 7:55 PM  

Lightning can't be racist. After all, there's Black Lightning

Anonymous Suomynona August 07, 2012 8:04 PM  

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows that snow is far more raciss than lightning. It covers everything in white. Not a single black snowflake has ever been allowed to form.

Anonymous Idle Spectator, Hero Feminist August 07, 2012 8:19 PM  

Lightning is sexist and discriminates against women too. There's ball lightning, but where pray tell is the ovary lightning? Or vagina lightning? Urinary tract infections do not count.

Clearly this a phallic symbol of the domination of nature over the natural rights of women. I demand a congressional investigation like the birth control subsidy got. Free women's shelters to free us from the demands of patriarchical rainstorms need to be built.


Fight the patriarchy one electron at a time!

Anonymous Tico August 07, 2012 8:21 PM  

Suomynona said Not a single black snowflake has ever been allowed to form.

You've never been to Hammond then.

Anonymous Boogeyman August 07, 2012 8:23 PM  

The gods must be crazy.

Anonymous Kickass August 07, 2012 8:33 PM  

He get them sum bs every dad gum time What does AWCA stand for again?

Anonymous Kickass August 07, 2012 8:35 PM  

Take a bow friend.

Anonymous Suomynona August 07, 2012 8:44 PM  

Tico August 07, 2012 8:21 PM

Suomynona said Not a single black snowflake has ever been allowed to form.

You've never been to Hammond then.


The only Hammond I know is in Louisiana, and I have certainly been there. I may be unfamiliar with the black snowflake, but I'll wager it's more rare than a black Olympic swimmer (water, in general, is just plain raciss).

Blogger Crude August 07, 2012 8:56 PM  

Hey Vox.

Sorry for going off topic, but I think you'd be interested in seeing what Sam Harris thinks of PZ Myers.

http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/wrestling-the-troll

Blogger Jamie-R August 07, 2012 9:58 PM  

Here's one for you conspiracy fags to dwell on for the next few days. Ignore the terrible English it's usually someone that hates America and by that I mean English is not their first language, but the Big Ben like clock, the colours of the Olympic rings on the people's clothes, the fact they look like Pakis in London, and the flying objects forming an 11 and an A, I think this is pretty cool. If something happens around 2:55 PM on the 11th of August at the Olympics I still won't buy conspiracy but I will up my belief in the darkest magic as Lo Pan would say.

Anonymous The other skeptic August 07, 2012 10:19 PM  

You have no claim to this place. You're living there at your own risk.

From what I understand, the Bantu expansion into Southern Africa occurred at about the same time as the Boers colonized Southern Africa.

It seems that the that claim could be just as well directed at Mandela and his ilk.

Anonymous Johnny Reb August 07, 2012 10:28 PM  

G'damn Jamie!

About time someone showed up showing no sense or with a drunken rant!

What can on say who from their mid 30's started questioning all...

Anonymous Anonymous August 07, 2012 11:13 PM  

“But as we all know, the best way to prevent being struck by lightning is to rape virgins.”
No, that would be muti. Magic made, for greatest strength, from a (live) young boys penis.
A variation makes you immune to, say, cars. Really.

The young virgins are for transferring 'evil' to. (Another example would be, for someone afflicted with warts, to rub a piece of good quality meat all over it, and leaving it for someone else to find. They will then receive your ‘curse’. Which is why, like Muslims, the blacks so hate biblical Christianity – the God of the bible will Personally crush them for even trying to do something like that.)

Shall we talk about the ‘conspiracy’ to divert money away from the R.D.P. (building LOTS of amazingly low-quality housing), by claiming that more power stations had to be built... which is now being done. These... ‘people’ are literally incapably of comprehending such a simple thing as simple linear relationships.

SA is suffering the inevitable end a one-party system: the kind of ‘reasoning’ mentioned is COMMON.

That used to bother me, until I saw how the exact same ‘mentality’ underlies atheism, humanism, evolution, etc. Same shit, the difference being the paint-job. Without adherence to KJV-biblical Christianity, REASON itself dies. Shrug. Who knew?

=

“I am a white South African In South Africa.” Blah, blah.
So am I. Go get fucked: you are either unbelievably unobservant, or else a lying little hippie love-turd.

=

“I still miss Nelson Mandela. You could disagree with him politically, but at least the man had a brain.”
Nelson Mandela was a fucking murder. ‘Disagree with him politically’?!?!

As for that other ‘Messiah’, Ghandi. He was, on the personal level, a fuck. Then he went to India, and inspired the whole self-sufficiency thing – that turned out really well.

“And yeah, his ex-wife Winnie was a total bitch.”
So ‘bitch’ is when you call on your followers to burn people to death via necklacing (oil-coated rubber tire, with a wire running through the victim's body to keep it in place.) Huh.
“But I think we've all been there before.”
Shit! Your life must really suck!

-CB

Anonymous The other skeptic August 07, 2012 11:14 PM  

Snow is raciss

The Sun People might find the cold weather a bit of a problem as well. I think we can expect more of this type of weather.

Anonymous Idle Afrikaner Spectator August 07, 2012 11:50 PM  

Nelson Mandela was a fucking murder. ‘Disagree with him politically’?!?!

+Er. Yes, you know, when he was working with the anti-apartheid group Umkhonto we Sizwe. No one gets out clean in a civil war. Surprised I know about that?

So ‘bitch’ is when you call on your followers to burn people to death via necklacing (oil-coated rubber tire, with a wire running through the victim's body to keep it in place.) Huh.

All facts of which, I am well aware of; considering I knew her name was Winnie in the first place.

It's what people in the First World call a joke. Bitch ex-wife acting like a bitch. I think most people 'got' it. You either have Asperger's Syndrome, or English is not your first language.

Anonymous Koanic August 08, 2012 1:01 AM  

It's literally white power.

Anonymous realmatt August 08, 2012 3:09 AM  

From what I understand, the Bantu expansion into Southern Africa occurred at about the same time as the Boers colonized Southern Africa.

It seems that the that claim could be just as well directed at Mandela and his ilk.


Yeah well they're black.

Get out of that crap hole and return to the white friendly and not at all multicultural Netherlands and UK.

Ah yes. White as the pure driven apparently racist snow and with no signs of letting up.

Anonymous Idle Zulu August 08, 2012 4:16 AM  

From what I understand, the Bantu expansion into Southern Africa occurred at about the same time as the Boers colonized Southern Africa.

It seems that the that claim could be just as well directed at Mandela and his ilk.


Yes.

That was time of Shaka kaSenzangakhona or Shaka Zulu as he is called in the west. Previously the Bantus had a great empire, but they were stationed up north in the area of modern day Zimbabwe. The Kingdom of Zimbabwe was pretty damn impressive for Africa, with the capital at Great Zimbabwe.

Shaka formulated the modern Zulu Kingdom down in an area of South Africa that extended to the ocean, and reigned 1816 - 1826. He reorganized the military using more modern technology and conquered land, much like Alexander the Great did.

Anonymous Anonymous August 08, 2012 4:49 AM  

So how is the Zulu's killing the Bantu's different than the Crips killing the Bloods today? I'm not saying the White's aren't, but it's almost like the Blacks are genetically programed to kill each other.

Anonymous VryeDenker August 08, 2012 4:51 AM  

Shaka was also one of the first to employ the Pincer attack strategy. He referred to it as "the horns of the bull". Quite impressive stuff. It's why my people still respect him to this day.

Anonymous Idle Zulu August 08, 2012 4:52 AM  

Just like Vlad Tepes (Count Dracula) used to impale his victims, Shaka Zulu used the method to.

Zulu Impalement

The fun really starts at 2:30.


I've got some raging wood now.

Anonymous VryeDenker August 08, 2012 5:24 AM  

This is from the same country that used to be a world leader in medical science and the discovery of solid-state physics.

Anonymous Idle Zulu August 08, 2012 5:32 AM  

About the only solid-state physics Suwd Afreeeka is doing these days is figuring out how to turn back on a failing power grid.

This is my rifle, this is my gun.
This is for fighting, this is for fun.


This is my spear, this is my wood,
This is for fighting, this is for hood.


That's how Zulus train. I have the cell phone video evidence from while on safari.

Anonymous zen0 August 08, 2012 5:48 AM  

Shaka was also one of the first to employ the Pincer attack strategy. He referred to it as "the horns of the bull". Quite impressive stuff. It's why my people still respect him to this day.

He stole it from Hannibal

Anonymous VryeDenker August 08, 2012 5:52 AM  

"He stole it from Hannibal".

That would imply he knew who Hannibal was.

Anonymous Coyote August 08, 2012 10:44 AM  

It seems like the original source for the story has been edited to remove the offending line about lightning striking only blacks.

Now normally I don't agree with Vox on his more out there view. For instance, with this story at first I said "Really Vox?" However, that changed when I looked at the story Mrs. Pilgrim linked. It carried the line but it's been edited(you can actually tell by the punctuation, they left the comma in instead of putting a more natural period there - a tell that there was more to that statement). It's further reinforced by the fact that other sources use to have the story according to a simple Google search but have since dropped it.

A very clear cut case of media bias to protect a favored politician.

Now there's also a problem with a politician calling for an investigation into lightning in the first place when she could just grab any text for meteorology to find out why. The story still makes her out to be a complete moron even without the edited material.

Anonymous The other skeptic August 08, 2012 10:52 AM  

He reorganized the military using more modern technology

You mean like guns and stuff?

Tell me about the Zulu civil service.

Anonymous Coyote August 08, 2012 10:53 AM  

Actually, forgive my double post here...but looking over the article again. It seems that they end all the statements with a comma(which I consider a bit bizarre). However, there's still the evidence from the Google searches that the line originally was in the story.

Anonymous cherub's revenge August 08, 2012 11:12 AM  

The only Hammond I know is in Louisiana, and I have certainly been there. I may be unfamiliar with the black snowflake, but I'll wager it's more rare than a black Olympic swimmer (water, in general, is just plain raciss).

I think he meant Hammond, IN back when the coke plants and mills were rocking.

Anonymous Clay August 08, 2012 11:21 AM  

You can get some pretty decent boudin at Phil's Market in Hammond. Louisiana, that is.

Anonymous Outlaw X August 08, 2012 4:12 PM  

My grandpa used to tell me if you hold your breath lightning won't strike you. He did it to get me to run from the car to the house during a storm. I still catch myself doing it from time to time.

Anonymous Anonymous August 08, 2012 7:43 PM  

At that latitude and altitude, you get lightning somewhere every day during summer (Oct-Feb). Then in winter it doesn't rain at all. Traditional and not-so-long-ago witch-hunts always go looking for some poor sod when people get struck.

Smuts' biography tells the story of how 5 men sleeping next to him were killed by a single strike, when they were in the guerilla phase of the 2nd Anglo-Boer war. The sand around them was turned to glass.

Anonymous Idle Zulu August 09, 2012 6:24 PM  

You mean like guns and stuff?

Tell me about the Zulu civil service.



Have you tried your tour guide Wikipedia?

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