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Sunday, December 30, 2012

Technopocalypticals rejoice!

Sweet Vernor Vinge, alert the media!  Thomas Friedman has gone singular! Someone finally figured out that the famous New York Times columnist IS AN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE!  And now we can tap directly into it:
An interesting thought occurred to me today—what if academics sat down with ordinary people like you and me and ironed out some real solutions to our health insurance crisis?
With the election season over, maybe you’ve forgotten about health insurance, but I certainly haven’t. It would be easy to forget that the problem even exists, when our headlines are constantly splashed with the violence in Brazil, the authoritarian crackdown in Cape Verde and the still-unstable democratic transition in Saudi Arabia. But the health insurance problem is growing, and politicians are more divided than ever. Republicans seem to think that health insurance can just be ignored. Democratic politicians like Dianne Feinstein, on the other hand, seem to think that shrill rhetoric will substitute for a compromise.
But the Democratic party of Dianne Feinstein is not the Democratic party of Bill Clinton. Clinton wouldn’t refuse to budge, he'd compromise because he'd understand that the fate of the country, and his own political career, depended on a lasting solution to the problem of health insurance.
 I may have ended my WND column too soon.  All I had to do was log into THOMAS once a week and let it all do the work.  Step two: profit!

24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous December 30, 2012 10:58 AM  

[i]An interesting thought occurred to me today—what if academics sat down with ordinary people like you and me...{/i}

'ordinary people...'?

harry12

Anonymous Roundtine December 30, 2012 11:34 AM  

That is a well done generator, which either means it has very good AI or Friedman's columns aren't that intelligent......

Anonymous Krul December 30, 2012 11:36 AM  

Sweet Vernor Vinge, alert the media! Thomas Friedman has gone singular! Someone finally figured out that the famous New York Times columnist IS AN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE! And now we can tap directly into it:


I don't understand this joke. Someone please explain it to me, otherwise I'll feel deprived. Thank you.

Anonymous Anonymous December 30, 2012 11:44 AM  

That is a well done generator, which either means it has very good AI or Friedman's columns aren't that intelligent......
---------

Both. That site is fucking hysterical.

Anonymous Aeoli Pera December 30, 2012 11:58 AM  

I don't understand this joke. Someone please explain it to me, otherwise I'll feel deprived. Thank you.

Click the link.

Anonymous MendoScot December 30, 2012 12:14 PM  

Entirely OT, but another warrior has gone to his rest.

Grieving for my Dad.

Anonymous MendoScot December 30, 2012 12:19 PM  

Entirely OT, but another warrior has gone to his rest.

Grieving for my Dad.

Anonymous Huh December 30, 2012 12:24 PM  

"the still-unstable democratic transition in Saudi Arabia"

What inna hell is he talking about?

Saudi Arabia remains an absolute monarchy based on the Koran.

Anonymous Huh December 30, 2012 12:25 PM  

Oh never mind, I get it now.

Anonymous bob k. mando December 30, 2012 12:32 PM  

I don't understand this joke. Someone please explain it to me, otherwise I'll feel deprived. Thank you.


read some Vernor Vinge.

A Deepness in the Sky or A Fire Upon the Deep would both be good places to start.

http://www.amazon.com/Vernor-Vinge/e/B000APOW0E/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1356888602&sr=1-2-ent

Blogger Astrosmith December 30, 2012 1:01 PM  

That would be Step Three, Vox.

Anonymous YIH December 30, 2012 1:40 PM  

@Krul:
Essentially its a 'turing test' for Tad.
It takes a few words and phrases and compiles an authentic Thomas Friedman column.

Anonymous DonReynolds December 30, 2012 1:44 PM  

Altogether predictable. The ideologues in the White House have dragged this country into a ad hoc nonsense of health care reform, now they wonder how it will every work, now the cognitive dissonance has set in, the hands tremble. Now they need more time to figure it all out, seems there were some things overlooked, some of the pieces do not fit, who knew there would be continued resistance? And now all the Powerpoint sessions they had in secret look a bit lame now. It was supposed to be easy. Everyone was supposed to be grateful. They rescued the country, remember? Now the ingrates want too much. Who knew that would happen? Send in the dragoons to chase them all from the gates of the White House! We are almost within sight of Utopia...

Anonymous Josh December 30, 2012 2:12 PM  

This is supremely entertaining.

Anonymous Krul December 30, 2012 2:21 PM  

Oh, I get it. If I knew or cared anything at all about Friedman I'd probably find it hilarious.

Anonymous Noah B. December 30, 2012 2:23 PM  

"First, there's no way around the issue unless we're prepared to spend less: and not just spend less, but spend smarter by investing in the kind of human capital that makes countries succeed."

If only there were some mechanism that would allow this to happen, where individuals themselves could seek out price information and make decisions as to how they could most efficiently utilize their own money to purchase their own healthcare...

I'm a bit disappointed that the singularity didn't think of this.

Blogger crazyivan498 December 30, 2012 3:16 PM  

I think its a south park reference to the underpants gnomes

Anonymous JohnS December 30, 2012 4:07 PM  

I don't understand this joke. Someone please explain it to me, otherwise I'll feel deprived. Thank you.


read some Vernor Vinge.

A Deepness in the Sky or A Fire Upon the Deep would both be good places to start.

http://www.amazon.com/Vernor-Vinge/e/B000APOW0E/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1356888602&sr=1-2-ent


A Fire on The Deep was decent, but the sequel is a real yawner for me. I can't get past the first few chapters. I suppose it's because it (so far, at least) seem to only want to dwell on the political workings of the Tine's society; whereas it was the tech stuff and dealings with ascended "gods" in the previous book that I found interesting.

Anonymous Stilicho December 30, 2012 4:17 PM  

Entirely OT, but another warrior has gone to his rest.

Grieving for my Dad.


Condolences. Few live so well.

Anonymous Stilicho December 30, 2012 4:20 PM  

Hilarious stuff. Here's one I found quite funny:

Second, I'd tell them to look at Iceland, which all but solved its higher education crisis over the past decade. When I visited Iceland in 2004, Mwambe, the cabbie who drove me from the airport, couldn't stop telling me about how he had to take a fourth job because of the high cost of higher education. I caught up with Mwambe in Reykjavik last year. Thanks to Iceland's reformed approach toward higher education, Mwambe has enough money in his pocket to finally be able to afford a playground for his kids

Anonymous scoobius dubious December 30, 2012 5:45 PM  

OT, but speaking of bots and entertainment, here are a few of my quickie year-end Christgau-style movie reviews, which may save some of you some time and/or money, or guide you to unexpected pleasures, who knows which...

THE HOBBIT: Ugh. Really, really bad. Don't ask me why, unless you want a two-semester-long lecture on filmmaking. By the 25th closeup of Thorin looking soulful and determined, I thought I was watching an adaptation of "The Hobbit" by Leon Uris. Plus, all orcs want to kill all civilized creatures, all the time. That's sort of what they do. So, having a special orc who REALLY wants to kill Thorin is dramatically meaningless.

ZERO DARK THIRTY: Expected to hate it, found it surprisingly good. Straight up procedural, without any opinions. Goes a lot of places you wouldn't expect it to go. Doesn't have the banal Bazooka Joe psychologizing and poor dramaturgy that marred "The Hurt Locker" despite its good procedural eye. BAD POINT: It may have revealed procedural secrets about how we do things, that never should have been put on film.

ARGO: The crowd-pleasing version of Zero Dark Thirty. Once upon a time, Ben Affleck walked the earth with a "Will Somebody PLEASE Kick My Teeth In?" sign hung around his neck. These days, you could invite him over for dinner, and not want to kill yourself.

PROMISED LAND: Why do people make movies like this?!? Oh yeah, now I remember.

SILVER LINING PLAYBOOK: Everybody's CRAZY, which gives them the chance to act, and ACT, and ACT-ACT-ACT! It's like a museum diorama titled, "This is what actory actenheimers do! They ACT!!!" If you can make it through the first hour of non-stop ACTING, a charming love story begins to emerge. By the end, you have a rooting interest, despite all the ACTING.

THE MASTER: I'll watch Philip Seymour Hoffman try just about anything, but in this movie, he tries just about EVERYTHING. As with all Paul Thomas Anderson movies, there's the nagging question "Sure, I get it, you're a master craftsman, but... why on earth did you choose to make a movie about THIS?!?"

THIS IS 40: This is torture.







Anonymous Noah B. December 30, 2012 5:57 PM  

@scoobius

Just wondering, did Zero Dark Thirty delve into the massive retardation that resulted in the military crashing their new super-secret stealth helo? Wondering if they gave an honest account of it, ignored it, or made it seem to be an unavoidable accident.

Anonymous scoobius dubious December 30, 2012 11:21 PM  

@Noah B

Oddly enough, the movie doesn't spend very much time on the actual military SEAL operation -- that to me was one of the pleasant surprises, I thought it was going to be a big sloppy love-letter to our brave SEALs and their noble, strong-jawed Commander-in-Chief. Instead, mostly it's about the obscure mid-level intelligence case officers, and the roundabout path they took to figure out where UBL was hiding.

There's no way of knowing (for a civilian like me anyway) how much of what's in the movie is true, but according to the movie they blew the downed helo to smithereens before they left the site, so the Paks couldn't sell the wreckage to the Chinese. Most of the actual military-ops scenes are shot in that jittery, hand-held, night-vision POV style, so it's sort of hard to figure out in those bits what exactly is happening or how or why. Strange to say, the operation itself is by far the least interesting part of the film.

I've always liked Kathryn Bigelow, good to see she's back in fine form, after going off the deep end for quite some time. Near Dark and Point Break were both a hoot. Blue Steel, however, was one of the most pathologically, unintentionally-funniest things I've ever seen in my life. Never could figure out why that movie wasn't just called "I Have Issues, Lots of Issues".

HILARIOUS BONUS FACTOID: Apparently in Los Angeles, there's a long-running cult-theater live performance of the shooting script of "Point Break," that I guess is performed as sort of a midnight show. I heard that the actor who plays the Keanu Reeves role is selected at random from the audience itself, a different Keanu Reeves every night, on the theory that literally ANYBODY can play a role as well as Keanu Reeves. I thought that was a scream.

Anonymous Koanic December 30, 2012 11:30 PM  

You did end the column too soon. Unlike fiction, a column is the perfect place to phone it in. The point is exposure. Let's face it, it's not like a lot of your blogging isn't phoning it in either. You're so far outside the mainstream that a lazy layup of a column does plenty.

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