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Thursday, February 28, 2013

He can handle her

Rollo responds to a meme popular among some women:  “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” 

That's not a bad response.  But Shiunji Watanabe's is arguably more tolerant, less judgmental, and thereby superior in every way.  Now, THERE is a man who could truly handle a woman at her worst.  And don't forget, 95 percent of all the weirdness in the world comes out of Japan.  True science fact.

However, since we are considering the wit and wisdom of Marilyn Monroe, surely we would be wise to also contemplate the noted English philosophers collectively known as One Direction?

1.  A lack of consciousness of her beauty is what makes a woman beautiful.
2.  There is no woman less conscious of her beauty than a dead women.
3.  Therefore, dead women are the most beautiful.

ὅπερ ἔδει δεῖξαι.  Thereby justifying not only Mr. Watanabe, but the infamous Hoodoogurus.  Now, I can hear some of you wondering if presenting logically impeccable arguments for necrophilia are the right way to go about winning the upcoming SFWA election, but keep in mind that these are the very people who have created a global cottage industry out of thinly disguised necrophilia and bestiality, to say nothing of electing McRapey not once, not twice, but thrice.

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58 Comments:

Anonymous Raggededge February 28, 2013 9:50 AM  

Dang, that is sick.

Anonymous Josh February 28, 2013 9:54 AM  

And don't forget, 95 percent of all the weirdness in the world comes out of Japan.  True science fact.

The rest comes from Holland.

Anonymous The other skeptic February 28, 2013 10:00 AM  

And South African Black Police show us how to handle a black man at any time

This reminds me of something but I just can't remember what.

Anonymous VryeDenker February 28, 2013 10:09 AM  

Actually, at least 50% of the weird shit in the world comes out of Africa. Given that Africa is at least a bazillion times larger than Japan, Japan has nothing to be ashamed of.

Roadside enema anyone?

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 February 28, 2013 10:14 AM  

I don't know. From what I've heard about the movie A Serbian Film, it seems that Japan is pretty tame by comparison.

Anonymous Thales February 28, 2013 10:15 AM  

"Most girls cannot compute the fact that they are intolerable and lack even the basic elements of character or wisdom- probably because their trip on the carousel seems to contradict or deny the natural consequence- rejection. Too dumb to know that the carousel is rejection too."

QFE

Anonymous Noah B. February 28, 2013 10:17 AM  

I guess some people dig the cold shoulder(s).

Anonymous VryeDenker February 28, 2013 10:19 AM  

I guess some people dig the cold shoulder(s).

It's called necrophilia.

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 10:41 AM  

I don't know. From what I've heard about the movie A Serbian Film, it seems that Japan is pretty tame by comparison.

"Soylent Green is people!" is what it took to have shock value at one time.
"Newborn... PORN!" is what it takes now.

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 10:42 AM  

(Haven't seen it, assuming The Cinema Snob's imitation of the line is accurate)

Anonymous Difster February 28, 2013 10:51 AM  

Sun Tzu's handling of women at their worst was even better!

Anonymous Happy Birthday February 28, 2013 10:56 AM  

Mr. President.

Anonymous Azimus February 28, 2013 11:36 AM  

Can someone translate thosy goofy symbols? Its all Greek to me.

Anonymous DonReynolds February 28, 2013 11:40 AM  

Women would like to believe they are the center of the universe and men are preoccupied with thoughts of how to get in their panties. (No doubt some men are.) Therefore, women believe they can misbehave and act like brats or even be unreasonable without diminishing the value of what they have that men want. They are mistaken, of course, for a variety of reasons.

In economic terms, relations between men and women are best understood not in terms of supply and demand but in the form of bilateral monopoly, with women at a slight disadvantage due to the biological clock.

Anonymous Daniel February 28, 2013 11:42 AM  

Come on, there at least has to be a 1% free for weird things in Joliet.

My only question is that I can't tell if these crimes would be indicative of these women at their worst or at their best. I'll wait until the youtube video comes out to make a final determination.

Blogger Tupla-J February 28, 2013 11:42 AM  

I don't know. From what I've heard about the movie A Serbian Film, it seems that Japan is pretty tame by comparison.

That movie is one where everything that happens is the predictable answer to the question "what could be the most shocking and taboo breaking thing to show right now?" TBH, I thought it was a lot more annoying than shocking. It's a nauseating glorification of nihilism, but pales in comparison to, say, Irreversible.

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 11:47 AM  

Can someone translate thosy goofy symbols?

"quod erat demonstrandum"

Anonymous Daniel February 28, 2013 11:49 AM  

Azimus, it is the greek version of QED, a logical proof. Its a fancy shorter way of saying "I made a statement, then a logical argument and have proven the conclusion. I proved what I said was a fact. See?"

Anonymous Jack Amok February 28, 2013 12:26 PM  

A) Marilyn Monroe at her best was pretty good. Very, very few of the women who repeat that quote are anywhere even close.

B) Even Marilyn Monroe's best wasn't worth it for the men in her life. She never had a stable relationship.

With all the advantages she had, if she'd possessed a little self-control, she could've lived one of the best lives any woman ever had in all of history. But she blew it.

Quite a role model.

Anonymous Jack Amok February 28, 2013 12:36 PM  

I don't know. From what I've heard about the movie A Serbian Film, it seems that Japan is pretty tame by comparison.

There is a difference between weird and brutal. Tentacle porn is weird. A Serbian Film is simply brutality.

Anonymous scoobius dubious February 28, 2013 12:37 PM  

This all strikes me as a trifle excessive. Sometimes I get the sense that some of you dudes take up an unnecessarily (or overly) defensive posture, maybe because once or twice in your life you've made the mistake of dating a Psychotic Stripper and got burned. Not all women are trying to destroy you or cause chaos or whatever; there are a lot of perfectly reasonable women in the world, even hot ones, (yes I know there's a scale, Greater Hotness = Greater Chance of Craziness but it isn't always true, or even generally true, just true often enough to become folk wisdom) and if you respond to them sanely as a man, they will tend to respond sanely as a woman. I suppose all this game stuff helps you clear away the soot so that you can once more see clearly what it means to respond sanely as a man, but actually, it isn't really that hard if you've got your head on straight, and plenty of women have got their heads on straight As Women; perhaps they need the occasional wittily-placed reminder, but really, it isn't rocket science.

Me, I don't see it as a battleground of psychosis. Yes, once or twice I've dated Psychotic Stripper and learned my lesson, but I've also dated Reasonable, Sane, Well-Balanced Stripper, and also Psychotic Ballet Dancer and Sane Ballet Dancer, (sometimes both were the same girl), and also Normal Women Who Aren't Trying to Test You Constantly.

Here's a little story that has the function not of a parable or of a metaphor, but one of those Conrad/Marlowe-esque stories in which the meaning is, as Conrad says, outside the story surrounding it, rather than within it like a nut in a shell.

For a long while I dated this very smart, hot, Old Money type girl (who I should have married if I'd had the wisdom at the time, but I was young and silly, we both were) who always dressed in a very demure, one might say almost dowdy, fashion. Except when we went for a night out, or to a big-deal dinner party, in which case she dressed in a way that was, I won't exactly say slutty, but shall we say daring. Being young, I was a bit puzzled by this. When I finally asked her why she did it, she smiled and said, "Because it brings you honor!"

If you've got a woman who thinks that way, well then game is mostly unnecessary, is my feeling. Best of me, worst of me, pfft. My car does 180 and I know it, but I drive the speed limit so I won't get killed.

Anonymous Anonymous February 28, 2013 12:42 PM  

CODE BLUE!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpZJLjrb4vU

Anonymous Beau February 28, 2013 12:45 PM  

Can someone translate thosy goofy symbols?

"quod erat demonstrandum"


Markku, for the early thread win.

Anonymous WaterBoy February 28, 2013 12:52 PM  

Beau: "Markku, for the early thread win."

It would have been even funnier if he had translated it into Finnish.

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 1:02 PM  

It would have been even funnier if he had translated it into Finnish.

I considered that, but I figured I would have been TOO much of an asshole for lack of precision in the question.

Blogger Giraffe February 28, 2013 1:05 PM  

This is VP. There's no such thing as too much asshole. Except for Tad.

Anonymous WaterBoy February 28, 2013 1:08 PM  

Eh, never squander the opportunity for a good joke, I always say.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you....

Blogger tz February 28, 2013 1:36 PM  

We don't know that she never had a stable relationship. Most women like horses.
(and perhaps the Agean stables needed to be cleaned out of more than we assume).

Blogger tz February 28, 2013 1:51 PM  

@scoobius dubious: if you respond to them sanely as a man, they will tend to respond sanely as a woman.

Stastically unlikely. Someone does win the lotto jackpot type unlikely.

In my experience and as far as I can determine, barring some very dry technical or office matter (where even then it is often a toss-up), there is ZERO relationship between the sanity of the question, request, or observation, and the response. The nonsense twitter feed occasionally matches too.

if you have a woman who thinks... That would be sufficient, adding "that way" usually means it isn't a thought process but a complex reflex. Normally you have women who feel, so whatever words you use will first pass through the hamster and be evaluated on tolerance, consideration, whatever else such, and if something can make it through (see Vox's earlier dialectic v.s. rhetorical argument style notes), you will be evaluated on that. E.g. Q: They said they wanted three pages. A: You're a RSHD!. Note that even many sane and rational sounding responses are merely finer forms of feeling and manipulation, they are trying to push some emotional button, not be logical.

Some women learn self-control, literally not sinning by giving into temptation. (Most men have different temptations and sins, so this is not a point of inequality). Normally they learn it as Mothers where they children are all "feeling" and desire, and reason doesn't work. Mirrors can be wonderful. But motherhood (and nanny, daycare, and/or a half-hour of quality time is not motherhood) is deprecated for the modern society. Some can learn such outside of marriage and motherhood but that is rare. And everything else in the culture encourages the hamster demon.

Blogger tz February 28, 2013 1:54 PM  

And as soon as I finished the above, http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2013/02/alpha-mail-female-process.html

Anonymous Daniel February 28, 2013 1:57 PM  

Scoobius you are right. Not All Psychotic Sane Ballerinas Are Like That.

On the other hand, I occasionally wonder if your face resembles Robert Louis Stevenson's while writing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, what with your nose buried in so many snowflakes.

Blogger Doom February 28, 2013 2:08 PM  

I used to tease, mostly, my last that... should she die I would just buy a full size deep-freeze. I hadn't figured out the thawing process, I told her, but maybe with embalming it would all work out. It actually seemed to... please her somehow, at least until I suggested that it would remain like the 'old times', only without feedback! I was about as serious as you are, mostly. But it's nice to... have a place where mentioning such doesn't raise the possibility of a swatting. Mostly.

Anonymous bob k. mando February 28, 2013 2:12 PM  

tz February 28, 2013 1:36 PM
We don't know that she never had a stable relationship.



okay. find it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe#Family_and_early_life

her mother was a lunatic, her grandmother died in an asylum, the man listed on her birth certificate as her father never lived in her household AND she personally claimed a different man as her real father.

numerous stints in foster homes and as wards of the state, married under age so she wouldn't have go back into foster care. all marriages end in divorce, she screwed half the men in Hollywood, at least two Kennedys and who knows who all else and died of overdose before 37.

Norman Mailer claims that Marilyn had had 12 abortions by the age of 30, she claimed herself in an interview to have had multiple abortions. all of these would have been illegal.

'stable relationships' have as a prerequisite two stable personalities. Marilyn has a family history of severe psychological disorder and the entire arc of her life would seem to describe someone who was severely disordered but high functioning.

Anonymous Jack Amok February 28, 2013 2:15 PM  

Not All Psychotic Sane Ballerinas Are Like That.

Indeed. Some women do manage to learn (and they deserve a lot of credit for it because I don't think many folks are teaching them these days) to control their psychotic impulses. Or, to put it another way, they learn to be civilized. The ones who don't are fucking trainwrecks looking for a place to happen.

That's why the "If you can't handle me at my worst..." quote is such a terrible cultural phenomenon. It excuses the psychotic behavior. That's really damaging for young women, because they are at the height of their desirability, when they have the most leeway for bad behavior. Instead of using their youthful good looks as an emergency reserve if they bungle something while learning, they squander it.

Anonymous Noah B. February 28, 2013 2:59 PM  

"ὅπερ ἔδει δεῖξαι"

What's the deal man, Latin too mainstream these days?

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 3:11 PM  

I swear, on Android Noah's quote says per dei de xai. I was already thinking this is some Greek/Latin riddle of the sort Vox likes. Luckily I took a look on my PC before getting too deep into research.

Blogger Double Minded Man February 28, 2013 3:13 PM  

bob k. mando for the reading comprehension fail of the day

Anonymous Noah B. February 28, 2013 3:26 PM  

Interesting, Markku. In Android mine shows up as "περ δει δε ξαι". I guess your device is substituting Latin characters for Greek ones (or did you type them from the same Android device?)

So what's happening there? Does Android only support a limited number of Unicode characters?

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 3:27 PM  

No, that's what it says, I transliterated it myself. Android seems to omit all Greek characters with diacritics.

Anonymous Jack Amok February 28, 2013 3:32 PM  

We don't know that she never had a stable relationship. Most women like horses.
(and perhaps the Agean stables needed to be cleaned out of more than we assume).


I'm sorry tz, but that would most definitely have been an in-stable relationship.

Anonymous Azimus February 28, 2013 3:56 PM  

Daniel February 28, 2013 11:49 AM Azimus, it is the greek version of QED, a logical proof.

Thanks Daniel!

Blogger tz February 28, 2013 4:21 PM  

@bob k. mando

Vox said in the post the very people who have created a global cottage industry out of thinly disguised necrophilia and bestiality,

But apparently MM didn't like horses given your research.

Anonymous Rollo Tomassi February 28, 2013 4:32 PM  

Not all women are trying to destroy you or cause chaos or whatever; there are a lot of perfectly reasonable women in the world, even hot ones, (yes I know there's a scale, Greater Hotness = Greater Chance of Craziness but it isn't always true, or even generally true, just true often enough to become folk wisdom) and if you respond to them sanely as a man, they will tend to respond sanely as a woman.

You are correct in a general sense, but remember, these perfectly reasonable women you're endorsing are the same women posting MM's credo on their FaceBook statuses and online dating profiles. They're not all psychotic messes, but the majority still believe and repeat Marilyn's mantra.

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 5:18 PM  

Yeah... SD is definitely JQP.

*knowing smile*

Anonymous Josh February 28, 2013 5:30 PM  

I've thought that for a while, Markku.

Anonymous scoobius dubious February 28, 2013 5:36 PM  

A wise friend of mine who had a great deal of success in romance once confided to me that the secret to success with women, is to genuinely LIKE women, to enjoy their company for what it is, to relish their particular type of charm and warmth, and their different perspective on living and their different manner of being in the world... and to telegraph this to them, that you like them. Which is not the same thing as fawning on them or deferring to them, or whatever. If your manner of being in the world is that of a man, but you nevertheless have made room in your soul to really like women, then that is good, and good things will come of it. So often I get the feeling that the Gamesters are sort of at war with the world, and especially at war with the part of the world that includes women. Those are bad vibes, man.

Markku -- who or what is JQP? Is that just "John Q. Public," or some blog personality I never heard of?

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 5:41 PM  

Markku -- who or what is JQP? Is that just "John Q. Public," or some blog personality I never heard of?

JQP would ask that... 'Cause he's a sly bastard.

Blogger Markku February 28, 2013 5:47 PM  

Of course, in the event that SD is not JQP, I would appreciate if someone could tell if he is still demonstrably alive. Apparently he leads an interesting life, in the Chinese sense of the word.

Anonymous Idle Spectator, Hero Feminist February 28, 2013 7:10 PM  

I just came up with this wonderful idea for a children's toy. It just came to me when I was sitting there idling.

It is the old Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots toy, except it features Rihanna and Chris Brown as the robots. Updated for 21st Century America. It teaches good feminist values about love and what brings a couple together. It is much more noble than necrophilia.

Rock 'Em Rihanna and Sock 'Em Chris Brown.

Rihanna: I got my block knocked off!
Chris Brown: I want a rematch!
Narrator: It's ok, just push the head back down and you are ready for the next round!

This coming Christmas 2013, you know what to get.

Blogger tz February 28, 2013 8:47 PM  

to genuinely LIKE women, to enjoy their company for what it is, to relish their particular type of charm and warmth, and their different perspective on living and their different manner of being in the world

Paralleling the forgive post, those practicing Game like and enjoy what they are doing and leveraging women's different manner of being. The Alphas or LUAs are successful at it.

The problem is not their charm and warmth, it is when they expose something other than the better angels of their nature. Which is typically often.

A different perspective and manner might be simply different and correct, but it can simply be WRONG. Sometimes quite evil.

The standards of what is good and evil, virtue and vice, truth and error, good and evil apply to both men and women. They may apply differently based on their differences, but to love someone is to help them to do good, not celebrate their defects.

Blogger LP 999/Eliza February 28, 2013 10:01 PM  

Awesome post, great wisdom!!

Anonymous The other skeptic February 28, 2013 11:50 PM  

I have to say that if anything handles well, it is my new Sig Sauer 1911.

Anonymous rycamor March 01, 2013 12:26 AM  

Markku February 28, 2013 5:18 PM

Yeah... SD is definitely JQP.

*knowing smile*


I don't think so, unless JQP substantially toned down his writing style. Then again, he is a sly one...

Anonymous realmatt March 01, 2013 12:51 AM  

I'm sick of all this tip toeing around women and their horrible behavior.

If you behave like an infant at age 30, you deserve a crack in the mouth.

I feel like puking when I hear some dumb bitch talking about how her bf/husband "calms her" and "is her rock".

If I had a daughter, she'd get a pick and shovel at age 6.

Anonymous Matthew March 01, 2013 12:55 AM  

Markku, I find that judgment bizarre. I was only lurking for the last few months of JQP's meltdown, but even so, I would never have made a JQP -> Scoobius connection. Totally different styles, totally different autobiographies.

Anonymous realmatt March 01, 2013 12:55 AM  

@ bob k. mando

In her case, it was somewhat understandable she was a raging lunatic.

I didn't know about the abortions though I did see that awful movie with Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino and she just seemed like such a pathetic human being. It excuses nothing, of course, but certainly explains.

But women who have never experienced any of that emulate this psychotic behavior and it's absolutely unacceptable. Hard barely lubed anal is required in their cases.

Anonymous Matthew March 01, 2013 12:57 AM  

Scoobius is ... (forgive me brother) ... eminently urbane. JQP was Job's goat.

Anonymous Anonymous March 01, 2013 8:00 AM  

>A wise friend of mine who had a great deal of success in romance once confided to me that the secret to success with women, is to genuinely LIKE women

And women can tell. I am one. I like human beings. I find many of them interesting, entertaining and kind. Result - some great friends of both sexes and a good relationship with my husband. We don't worry too much about who does what - he's better with a chainsaw and the car, but we both cook.

Lunatics, though - run away, run away! Anyone who models themselves on Marilyn is cruising for disaster.

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