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Friday, March 29, 2013

He is a madman!

North Korea reveals its plans to attack US cities:
The photos appeared in the state-run Rodong newspaper and were apparently taken at an "emergency meeting" early on Friday morning. They show Kim signing the order for North Korea's strategic rocket forces to be on standby to fire at US targets, the paper said, with large-scale maps and diagrams in the background.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un ordered strategic rocket forces to be on standby to strike US and South Korean targets at any time (EPA)

The images show a chart marked "US mainland strike plan" and missile trajectories that the NK News web site estimates terminate in Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas.
What sort of complete lunatic plots an attack on the United States and leaves out New York City?  Especially when he has sufficient insight to put Austin on the list.  I mean, even the cartoon supervillains who kept the Justice League of America busy understood the importance of taking out New York City and the UN headquarters there.

We truly live in an age of tin.  Even the quality of Man's reclusive supervillains has declined.  A missile launch at the USA by Kim is about as likely as the current Supreme Court overturning the judicial ban on Proposition 8.

Labels:

105 Comments:

Anonymous Susan March 29, 2013 11:52 AM  

Maybe we could get together a list of suggested targets for the little guy and email it to him?

Just trying to be helpful. After all, it is Spring and time for a major housecleaning.

Anonymous Rex Little March 29, 2013 11:54 AM  

You're going to nuke Washington, Kim? Please, please don't throw me in that briar patch!

Anonymous Salt March 29, 2013 11:55 AM  

A few of us were discussing the economy yesterday and one said North Korea scared him more.

It really is getting weird out there.

Anonymous NateM March 29, 2013 11:55 AM  

This is from the same country that claimed they found an ancient unicorn cave so you really can't give em much credit for common sense

Anonymous jay c March 29, 2013 11:58 AM  

Austin might be full of lunatic liberals, but most of them are still Texans. That means there's hope for them.

New York, OTOH, they can have.

Blogger jamsco March 29, 2013 11:59 AM  

"I mean, even the cartoon supervillains who kept the Justice League of America busy understood the importance of taking out New York City and the UN headquarters there."

I believe you're referring to Pink Panther.

http://www.emporis.com/building/unitednationssecretariatbuilding-newyorkcity-ny-usa

Anonymous Kim-anonymous March 29, 2013 11:59 AM  

Ah, but my friend and vaulted 'net super intelligence....you fail to see the beauty of deception in this plan. We have but one functional ICBM and it will be launched on NYC only....oopps did I type that out loud...dang it

Anonymous beerme March 29, 2013 12:00 PM  

The North Koreans really do hate us. I can see no other reason to leave NYC off of what looks to be an outstanding list of targets.

Blogger jamsco March 29, 2013 12:02 PM  

"The images show a chart marked "US mainland strike plan" and missile trajectories that the NK News web site estimates terminate in Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas."

I'm glad they clarified the correct state for Austin - otherwise I might fear they were heading to Minnesota in an attempting to take out SPAM production.

Anonymous reallmatt March 29, 2013 12:07 PM  

We need Dennis Rodman and the All-Stars to team up. Only they can stop this. And only the originals..yes..even and ESPECIALLY Bo Jackson.

Anonymous cheddarman March 29, 2013 12:08 PM  

This kind of news can only seek to encourage the likes of Sarah Palin and "Crazy Eyes" Michelle Bachman.

Sincerely

Cheddarman

Anonymous Joe Doakes March 29, 2013 12:08 PM  

What kind of military morons run that place?

Everybody knows the first missile launched in Global Thermonuclear War goes to Las Vegas!

Anonymous scoobius dubious March 29, 2013 12:09 PM  

No no no, VD, Kim is correct; you don't understand the supervillain mindset. Kim CAN'T take out New York, because if he did, then, how could he possibly KIDNAP THE MEMBERS OF THE UNITED NATIONS, SENDING THE WORLD SPINNING INTO CHAOS?!?!?

I mean, they're the _United Nations_!! If **they** get kidnaped, the entire planet will descend into madness and catastrophe!!

...Right?

Anonymous DrTorch March 29, 2013 12:10 PM  

Taking out Austin is evil. MSP is just as liberal and it's damn cold there. And then realize how much closer SF is than Austin or DC, and you see he is truly diabolical. Much worse than the League of Super Villains.

Lex Luthor could learn a lot from him.

Anonymous Matt March 29, 2013 12:10 PM  

Austin? Please don't do it Kim, we couldn't survive that loss. It would be as crippling as losing Berkley, Ann Arbor, San Fransisco...

Anonymous Stephen J. March 29, 2013 12:12 PM  

Dude, haven't you ever heard of not tempting fate?!

Anonymous scoobius dubious March 29, 2013 12:12 PM  

Somewhere, Adam West and Burt Ward are sitting by the phone in their bathrobes, with their fingers crossed.

"They'll DEFINITELY be calling us any minute now..."

Anonymous anon123 March 29, 2013 12:12 PM  

Perfect time to watch 'Team America: world Police' again.

Anonymous YIH March 29, 2013 12:18 PM  

Other than Hawaii I doubt anything else is in range anyway, but Austin TX? Alex Jones (and yes, he's aware of this) may be as nutty as he is, but that's not exactly 'a high value target'.
OT: Lawrence Auster has passed away. Per his request the site will remain up permanently but no longer updated.

Blogger ajw308 March 29, 2013 12:18 PM  

Somewhere, there is a cultural non-American wondering if Texas is a city or one of the 57 states.

I wonder if the NORK's are always this belligerent, but we're only hearing about it now because it serves the agenda.

In the mind of a foreigner, is a failed attack reason to declare Martial Law?

Anonymous Daniel March 29, 2013 12:18 PM  

No! Not the rarge scare maps and diaglams!

Considering that New York was taken out by a mayor and a handful of drink container restrictions, it would appear that the impotent aluminum foil rocket system of NK is way too sophisticated to waste on such a backwater as Manhattan.

Anonymous BenYachov March 29, 2013 12:23 PM  

I live in NYC with my wife & autistic kids. Shut the hell up before you give him ideas!

Geez!!!!! Don't Nuke Tase me Bro!!!

Anonymous Anonymous March 29, 2013 12:24 PM  

But another war is just what Krugman needs right now. And almost all our forces are on standby right now. Why don't they wait a few months until we're bogged down in America's next 10 year spear sharpening boondoggle?

Earl

Anonymous Daniel March 29, 2013 12:24 PM  

On the other hand, I could see Kim with his feet up on the desk, tapping his fingers together as he considered the fate of New York with a list of former star athletes on the screen in front of him.

"Unleash Operation Plaxico..."

Anonymous Jack Amok March 29, 2013 12:26 PM  

The images show a chart marked "US mainland strike plan" and missile trajectories that the NK News web site estimates terminate in Hawaii...

Hawaii is part of the mainland now? Excellent. Road Trip!

A missile launch at the USA by Kim is about as likely as the current Supreme Court overturning the judicial ban on Proposition 8.

If I don't love ya baby,
then eggs ain't poultry,
grits ain't groceries,
and Mona Lisa was a man.

Anonymous Pope Cleophus I March 29, 2013 12:30 PM  

He must really hate Alex Jones a whole lot to want to nuke Austin. Perhaps NYC and SF didn't make the list so he could order take-out.

Anonymous Daniel March 29, 2013 12:34 PM  

Speaking of world domination, does anyone know when SFWA votes are counted for the presidency?

Anonymous A. Man March 29, 2013 12:38 PM  

"A missile launch at the USA by Kim is about as likely as the current Supreme Court overturning the judicial ban on Proposition 8."

True, but for different reasons. Kim is an idiot when it comes to Nuclear technology and tactics. The Supreme Court is simply competent when it comes to simple legal analysis of the 14th amendment and issues of standing.

Anonymous The Master Cylinder! March 29, 2013 12:38 PM  

Quickly! Somebody alert the Film Actors Guild!

Blogger Giraffe March 29, 2013 12:41 PM  

They do have hovercraft you know. The obvious conclusion is they are not planning to nuke New York because they plan to invade. Somebody needs to liberate New York from Bloomberg after all.

Anonymous Dan in Tx March 29, 2013 12:43 PM  

Considering how many years the media quoted Ahmadinejad as saying he wanted to wipe Israel off the map and it turns out he never did, I'm wondering if even 10% of what they're claiming the N. Koreans are saying is even true.

Anonymous JohnS March 29, 2013 12:47 PM  

Hey! He left out Detroit!

Oh, wait... never mind.

Blogger Nate March 29, 2013 12:49 PM  

HEY!

Just because this guy is an incompentent doubchebag is no reason to cast our beloved Loki in the same light. Much less Doctor Doom Himself! Vladimir Putin!

Anonymous Joshua March 29, 2013 12:51 PM  

Far East Strategy
SEATO Decapitating
Pacific Territorial
Pacific Maneuver
SEATO Takeover
Pacific Defense
Alaskan Discretionary
Canadian Thrust



A strange game.

The only wining move is not to play.



Anonymous DonReynolds March 29, 2013 12:53 PM  

Now if he would also add Chicago, New York City, Philadelphia, Atlanta, and Memphis, Little Kim would certainly deal the Democrats a death blow in this country. Is this a new conspiracy theory? Did the out-of-office Republicans turn traitor and collaborate with Kim Il to target all the major Democrat cities? Or does Kim better remember that in this country historically it is Democrats (like Harry Truman) that start foreign wars and Republipukes (like Eisenhower) that end them? North Korea has little to fear from the Republicans since they are nowhere near oil wells or the State of Israel. Democrats on the other hand could be a serious problem....as in the past.

Anonymous 43rd Virginia Calalry March 29, 2013 12:56 PM  

realmat, Include the Harlem Globe Trotters.

Blogger The Aardvark March 29, 2013 1:01 PM  

Far East Strategy
SEATO Decapitating
Pacific Territorial
Pacific Maneuver
SEATO Takeover
Pacific Defense
Alaskan Discretionary
Canadian Thrust

For a moment, I thought Kissinger and Dr. Ruth had collaborated on a book.

Anonymous Harsh March 29, 2013 1:10 PM  

Soon after that photo was taken Kim was heard to say that he was going to hold the world ransom for... one million dollars!!!

Anonymous Rodong Sinmun March 29, 2013 1:25 PM  

No one will survive DPRK's retaliatory strike. The revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK will blow up the strongholds of aggression on the earth through precision strikes no matter where they are.

The prevailing situation compels the army and people of the DPRK to make a courageous decision not to pardon the arrogant aggressors but wipe them out through decisive military counteractions.

It is necessary to return fire for fire. If the aggressors brandish a nuclear stick, the Korean People's Army should react to them with a precision nuclear strike. It will reduce those enemies who talk about striking the "base of provocation and commanding forces" to ashes in a twinkle, not giving them a breathing spell.

The U.S. imperialists and their followers had better take serious the capability of strategic missiles that can blow up any target at a single blow under any circumstances and the offensive spirit and might of the revolutionary armed forces who storm the enemy positions and destroy them at a lightning speed.

The U.S. should not overestimate such weaponry as B-52. The KPA has already taken a military measure to counter it.

The aggressors should not feel relieved for being in the mainland or on the other side of the ocean. Gone are the days when there was a verbal exchange.

Not only the U.S. forces and south Korean puppet forces involved in the joint military exercises Foal Eagle but other countries hostile to the DPRK will not be able to escape merciless retaliatory strikes of the KPA.

The high precision strike means of the KPA have coordinates for all enemy targets so that they may strike them any time

Anonymous Loki of Asgard March 29, 2013 1:28 PM  

I mean, even the cartoon supervillains who kept the Justice League of America busy understood the importance of taking out New York City and the UN headquarters there.

Yes, it is a means to garner sympathy and even gratitude from the native population.

Blogger Magson March 29, 2013 1:31 PM  

Everybody knows the first missile launched in Global Thermonuclear War goes to Las Vegas!
***

Actually, that's bass-ackwards. No nuke will ever hit Las Vegas -- the House will bet against it, and *nobody* beats the House.

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein March 29, 2013 1:32 PM  

C'mon now, y'all know who's behind this. Surely when Kim was in Switzerland, he occaisionally travelled south of the border t sip fruity umbrella drinks and discuss world domination with a certain internet super-intelligence.

You want proof? Compare Kim's hairstyle to the early WorldNutDaily Vox Day.

Admittedly, Vox's advocacy of "weight training" must have lost something in the translation for Kim- Un......

Anonymous Jack Amok March 29, 2013 1:40 PM  

Hey! He left out Detroit!

No, that's the key. The NORKs developed some sort of time-dilation technology* 50 years ago that allowed them to launch stealth missiles. They moved so slowly that we couldn't even detect them, and the explosion when they detonated has been unfolding so slowly as to be imperceptible. It doesn't look like anything is happening. But if you use time-lapse photography to neutralize the time-dilation effects, you can see it. The place crumbles under the impact of the NORK bomb.

Evil bastards.

* this technology obviously has unfortunate side effects on the mental processes of those in proximity to it. This explains why the NORKs are so frickin' loony. Also explains the otherwise inexplicable behavior of Detroit residents.

Anonymous ZhukovG March 29, 2013 1:50 PM  

Just as a theoretical exercise.

NK has nukes. NK has high level connections to the PRC. The PRC has more corrupt officials than even New York City (do I detect professional courtesy in the target list?).

Given the number of shipping containers that enter the USA from the PRC each day there could be any number of 10 - 20 KT yield nukes sitting in Walmart Warehouses across the country.

Anonymous patrick kelly March 29, 2013 1:54 PM  

"Given the number of shipping containers that enter the USA from the PRC each day there could be any number of 10 - 20 KT yield nukes sitting in Walmart Warehouses across the country."

I disbelieve. Shipping them that far without detection would be problematic given current hi-tech monitoring. Unless of course those in charge of the monitoring were complicit.... hmmm....

Anonymous Daniel March 29, 2013 1:54 PM  

When those bombs rain down on Maui, Austin, D.C. and East L.A., I wonder if anyone will be literate enough to read the propaganda that bursts from their cannisters.

“Give yourselves up. You can’t win. Signed - Douglas MacArthur”

Anonymous Anonagain March 29, 2013 2:00 PM  

Notice how tiny the rotund imp's hands are. It didn't help at all when Dennis Rodman went over there. Now he's gone insane with hatred of the US. No mystery why Kim Jong-unhung is pointing his big nukes at the US.

Anonymous Stingray March 29, 2013 2:10 PM  

Rodong

Sexist! I'll have you fired.

Anonymous WaterBoy March 29, 2013 2:12 PM  

ZhukovG: "do I detect professional courtesy in the target list?"

Doubtful. DC has an even larger number of corrupt officials than NYC, yet it still made the list.

Anonymous RA March 29, 2013 2:15 PM  

Sounds like good build up for a nuclear false flag. Another war might stop the masses from paying attention to pesky little islands like Cyprus.

Anonymous ZhukovG March 29, 2013 2:17 PM  

@patrick kelly

Your post gives me an idea. There is a rule:

Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

I add:

Unless your economy is tanking and you have a few million unemployed young males you need to do something with.

A rocket launch is reported from NK, a few minutes later Pearl Harbor goes 'poof'.

Suddenly you've got rampant patriotism and an FDR with a fabulous tan.

Anonymous WaterBoy March 29, 2013 2:19 PM  

From the Telegraph article:

"The photos appeared in the state-run Rodong newspaper and were apparently taken at an "emergency meeting" early on Friday morning."

Relax, everyone. This is just a Korean chest-thumping competition to see who has the biggest Rodong.

Anonymous patrick kelly March 29, 2013 2:24 PM  

ZhukovG,

Yes, if any US city suddenly went poof from a nuke I (if not among the poofed) would suspect a smuggled nuke and complicit traitors or similar evilness before I would believe that li'l Mr. Kim was actually able to deliver one.

Anonymous DonReynolds March 29, 2013 2:27 PM  

ZhukovG...."Given the number of shipping containers that enter the USA from the PRC each day there could be any number of 10 - 20 KT yield nukes sitting in Walmart Warehouses across the country."

I tend to agree with the idea, if not the specific locations. This country is wide open by any number of channels. Any nuke (or ALL the nukes) can be disassembled and shipped separately. Shucks, much of the nuke could be made by independent machine shops in the USA as auto parts or machine tools, without any inquiry or obstacle. Does it really matter how close the nuke gets to the UN building in NYC? I think exploding the device in NY harbor would be close enough....during business hours. How about the ports around LA, does the vessel carrying the nuke need to be a freighter, or can it just be a sailing yacht covered with bikini-clad cuties? Who checks the fleet of 747s that fly into Arkansas filled with crap from China? Nobody. How hard would it be for them to divert to their high value targets once over the USA? Effortless. We are sitting ducks to just whoever wants to take the first swing.

Blogger Astrosmith March 29, 2013 2:27 PM  

Those don't even look like great circle paths for targeting the missiles. If I were a whale in the eastern Pacific, I'd be really worried.

Here's hoping he doesn't target Denver. Or maybe Calgary, given his bad aim.

Anonymous . March 29, 2013 2:34 PM  

A missile launch at the USA by Kim is about as likely as the current Supreme Court overturning the judicial ban on Proposition 8.

IIRC the last important political prediction you made was the outcome of the 2012 election.

If Kim really wants to destroy us he should leave DC off the target list, that's for sure.

Anonymous . March 29, 2013 2:37 PM  

Those don't even look like great circle paths for targeting the missiles.

They're not. All the ones aimed at CONUS should go over or near Alaska.

Anonymous patrick kelly March 29, 2013 2:57 PM  

Almost as easy as a Japanese invasion of the west coast. (ducks)

Anonymous Boogeyman March 29, 2013 3:01 PM  

WOLVERINES!!!

Anonymous ZhukovG March 29, 2013 3:02 PM  

Fear doesn't have to be reasonable to be useful.

Anonymous SecGen Ban Ki-moon March 29, 2013 3:12 PM  

Since the people behind founding the "UN"/"League of Nations" are the same people behind the very real banking threats and the very phony war threats, then ..

Blogger hadley March 29, 2013 3:15 PM  

Hes going to take out Sematech and leave Goldman-Sachs untouched. He will destroy us and leave our alien rulers in place! How nefarious!

Anonymous JohnS March 29, 2013 3:16 PM  

A likely scenario, admittedly Jack.

However, I've concluded that these seemingly tachyon based "time bombs" were most likely carrying a carefully tailored biological weapon of mass destruction.

Consider an agent akin to Miracle Grow, only targeting certain selected human subgroups. We can only pray our Norplant sniper teams can succeed in containing this menace.

The horror... the horror

Anonymous James May March 29, 2013 3:17 PM  

It appears very similar to my own plan to attack Mars. I fear I have been compromised.

Anonymous Gapeseed March 29, 2013 3:35 PM  

Gentlemen:

Ladies:

I wish to protest the glee with which some members of this Ilk anticipate the destruction of New York City. While Gotham's destruction would no doubt inflict death and destruction on many bankstas and the like, you should know that there are libertarians who call Gotham home. Indeed, I am one myself. On this Good Friday, there is but one death I wish to contemplate.

Happy Easter and Passover to all.

Anonymous Loki of Asgard March 29, 2013 3:40 PM  

While Gotham's destruction would no doubt inflict death and destruction on many bankstas and the like, you should know that there are libertarians who call Gotham home. Indeed, I am one myself.

Yes, but are there ten of you?

Blogger Jason Brown March 29, 2013 3:42 PM  

To quote Lucian Fox: "Didn't you get the memo?"

Anonymous mjb March 29, 2013 3:42 PM  

I wish to protest the glee with which some members of this Ilk anticipate the destruction of New York City. While Gotham's destruction would no doubt inflict death and destruction on many bankstas and the like, you should know that there are libertarians who call Gotham home.

NJ resident here - would not miss NY.

Anonymous redsash March 29, 2013 3:47 PM  

Just what in the hell did Dennis Rodman say to Kim when he recently visited?

Anonymous AXCrom March 29, 2013 3:59 PM  

"Just what in the hell did Dennis Rodman say to Kim when he recently visited?

So Dennis Rodman could be the Jar Jar Binks of our time?

Anonymous jack March 29, 2013 4:02 PM  

I once saw a movie. Can't remember the title. In it the hero, a kind of anti-hero, bested one of the bad guys somewhere on a lonely road in the woods. He did not kill the bad guy. As he started to drive away the bad dude [iq maybe 6] yelled at him ' I will hunt you down and kill you'. Or some such. The 'good guy' slammed on the brakes, backed up looked at this zero and told him, 'I believe you'. Then shot him dead.

The moral here is be careful which tigers you tease and threaten. Were I in the seat of power in this country I would take the N.Koreans at their word and bring down the wrath of hell itself on them. Trying hard to kill off the military while giving the commoners as much of a break as possible. That consideration for collateral damage would not, of course, undermine the prime mission. Which would be getting rid of a pest so our citizens could sleep a bit better.

Just sayin.....

Anonymous ENthePeasant March 29, 2013 4:03 PM  

"Almost as easy as a Japanese invasion of the west coast."

For the love of God, do not go there.

Anonymous Kim Jong Donkey Kong March 29, 2013 4:09 PM  

The army and people of the DPRK are trembling with towering anger at the U.S. and the south Korean military hooligans who dare insult the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK and go desperate in their moves for confrontation and war.

The DPRK will demonstrate its tremendous military capacity and take the toughest counteraction to show the world what a miserable end those who provoke even a bit the dignity of the supreme leadership of the DPRK meet.

The provokers will never be able to survive but meet the fate of forlorn wandering spirit in the face of merciless punishment by the arms of Songun.

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein March 29, 2013 4:21 PM  


Almost as easy as a Japanese invasion of the west coast.

Oh no! You dee-unt!

*Shakes head*

Anonymous RA March 29, 2013 4:49 PM  

Yes, but are there ten of you?

Best reply ever Loki. Hope nobody looks back at NYC while fleeing.

Blogger Ciphra Summam March 29, 2013 5:08 PM  

Why would Austin rate higher than say, Bentonville, AR? The loss of Wal-Mart would have a more profound effect on productive areas of the country than Austin, or even DC for that matter.

Anonymous bob k. mando March 29, 2013 5:15 PM  

What sort of complete lunatic plots an attack on the United States and leaves out New York City? ... I mean, even the cartoon supervillains who kept the Justice League of America busy understood the importance of taking out New York City and the UN headquarters there.



at this time, i think i'll have Loki explain for you just what the proper definition of the term "Good Lackey" implies.

Anonymous Outlaw X March 29, 2013 5:32 PM  

Dennis Rodman gave him the target info.

Anonymous Loki of Asgard March 29, 2013 5:59 PM  

at this time, i think i'll have Loki explain for you just what the proper definition of the term "Good Lackey" implies.

I do what I want, mortal.

If I feel the urge to do so, I shall instead explain "long game". If.

Anonymous bob k. mando March 29, 2013 6:05 PM  

careful with that temper, Loki. you'll make your colt skittish.

Anonymous E. PERLINE March 29, 2013 6:26 PM  

When I saw North Korean Missiles being paraded on TV I got a look at North Korean troops. They looked to be around a hundred pounds each. And the army must be a comparitively well-fed bunch.

I think the entire population of North Korea is malnourished and therefore delirious. If we promise to give them one Big Mac each per day, could they afford not to take our side?

Anonymous Sigyn March 29, 2013 6:27 PM  

Oh, we've never heard THAT round of jokes before...*facepalm*

Anonymous paradox March 29, 2013 6:32 PM  

Kim knows he can't attack NYC. It's a weapons free zone. The signs around that place generate a magical rainbow unicorn force field.

Anonymous bob k. mando March 29, 2013 7:48 PM  

Sigyn March 29, 2013 6:27 PM
Oh, we've never heard THAT round of jokes before...*facepalm*




Oh, like we've never heard Loki mince about, talking about how he's going to rule the world before...*facepalm*


give me something original to work with and i'll start worrying about something original to reply with.

*grin*

ps - i do apologize to you if i've made poor Loki grumpy tonight and he pleads a headache rather than do his husbandly duty.

Blogger Doorstop March 29, 2013 7:57 PM  

Kim Jong Un just hates America because his foreign-born mother abandoned him, and up until now he never got as much of the spotlight as his older half-sister, Chaz Bono. So much for love after love...

Anonymous Susan March 29, 2013 9:20 PM  

After I told him about this this morning, my hubby said that there is a huge Samsung plant in Austin. Samsung is South Korean, yes?

Blogger mmaier2112 March 29, 2013 10:09 PM  

Comrade, zat is to be making sense, yes... no?

Anonymous Luke March 29, 2013 11:25 PM  

Loki of Asgard March 29, 2013 3:40 PM

While Gotham's destruction would no doubt inflict death and destruction on many bankstas and the like, you should know that there are libertarians who call Gotham home. Indeed, I am one myself.

Yes, but are there ten of you?"


Best post of the night, including its unintelligibility to non-Biblical "Christians".

Anonymous Luke March 29, 2013 11:36 PM  

The list of cities we wouldn't entirely mind the Norks nuking would have to include all of the following:

Washington D.C. (neutron weapon best, so Library of Congress/Smithsonian survive)
Los Angeles
San Francisco
NYC
Boston
Miami
El Paso
Detroit
Dearborn
Chicago
Boulder
Austin
Atlanta
(would have said N.O. before Katrina flushed it)
Madison

Anonymous Mr. Pea March 29, 2013 11:58 PM  

What sort of complete lunatic plots an attack on the United States and leaves out New York City?

It would be to obvious the second time?

Anonymous Matthew March 30, 2013 12:27 AM  

You've all forgotten Santa Fe.

Anonymous Noah B. March 30, 2013 1:22 AM  

"The images show a chart marked "US mainland strike plan" and missile trajectories that the NK News web site estimates terminate in Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas."

It makes perfect sense, and all of it can only mean one thing: Kim Jung-un is contending for the Democratic Party's nomination for president in 2016. He knows he would never win Hawaii, given the long-standing ethnic divisions between Japanese and Koreans. Better to eliminate the Hawaiians now. Everyone hates Washington, so taking it out is certain to give him a big boost. Los Angelaliens probably won't get word through Univision and other Spanish language media that they're being targeted until it's too late. Regardless, California is safely Democratic. And targeting a Texas city will give Jung-un an incredible boost among the left, most of whom are totally unaware that Austin is filled with their ideological brethren. Conservatives will be left in a state of complete bewilderment, hesitant to intervene, willing to give the man a chance.

It really is the perfect plan.

Anonymous Dennis March 30, 2013 1:30 AM  

We had sex while watching Red Dawn.

Anonymous TheExpat March 30, 2013 1:33 AM  

Just remember - no dictator has shown his true Evil Genius bonafides until he tries to hold the world ransom for ONE MILLION DOLLARS ... at which time the bombing can commence.

OpenID pumpsix March 30, 2013 6:13 AM  

Can Kim Jong-un's rockets even make it to New York?

Anonymous Sigyn March 30, 2013 6:46 AM  

i do apologize to you if i've made poor Loki grumpy tonight and he pleads a headache rather than do his husbandly duty.

Oh, no, no harm done...

Blogger Eric Mueller March 30, 2013 7:57 AM  

My theory is, they're smart enough to realize NYC doesn't matter. Most of us would rejoice at no longer having to hear New Yorkers talk about how "great" it is anymore.

Or Wall Street is secretly financing them, and they're not about to bite the hand that feeds them.

Blogger Some dude March 30, 2013 5:04 PM  

Suggestion: perhaps the reason New York is not on the list is for two reasons

1) his missiles dont reach that far

And

2) he's not kidding


I would take him a bit more seriously.

Blogger Some dude March 30, 2013 5:08 PM  

Also, i would like to point out that you only need 1 nuclear armed ballistic missile to wipe out the United States. Anything detonated about 100 km above Kansas would generate an EMP that would shortcircuit most of the electronics in North America.

Because of the centralized nature of the food system that would killof the population via starvation within about a month.

If he used 2 nukes, one detonated about 100 km above LA and the other above New York that would probably wipe out all the electronics in North America.

Anonymous DonReynolds March 30, 2013 5:45 PM  

Some Dude...."If he used 2 nukes, one detonated about 100 km above LA and the other above New York that would probably wipe out all the electronics in North America."

Why waste it? Detonating a nuke over the shoreline and most of the effect will we wasted on the fish in the ocean. Need to back away from the coast so you get 360 degrees of impact over the land.

With two nukes, I would nominate Denver (an obvious choice) and Pittsburg (a free gift for the Yankees). That should maximize the grief.

Blogger Some dude March 31, 2013 1:13 AM  

I was also off about how high up it would need to be. It seems it needs to be pretty high up to cause a cascade effect. Im not so clear on the science.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starfish_Prime

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein March 31, 2013 10:35 AM  

EMP



Hey, what's wrong with Korean AMPs in the US?


Oh....

Wait......

Nevermind.

Blogger SammyBoy March 31, 2013 6:05 PM  

Perhaps the most likely scenario here is that Kim found an old copy of the book or movie, "The Mouse That Roared". A small, nearly bankrupt country in Europe decides to launch a war against the USA, knowing that after the USA kicked their bee-hinds, they would immediately begin to be the recipients of America's financial and technological largesse.

Maybe Kim is hoping for a similar outcome.

(And maybe he didn't read the end of the book. The idiot chosen to lead the army if less than a dozen accidentally wins the war when he captures a nuclear weapon, and the US surrenders.)

Anonymous Anonymous April 02, 2013 6:26 AM  

"The images show a chart marked "US mainland strike plan" and missile trajectories that the NK News web site estimates terminate in Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas."

I take back everything I said about your "little man syndrome",Kim. You're alright,you little chink-eyed bastard. Nuke away,comrade!


1=/=K

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