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Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Transracialism: the next moral imperative

Since the societal powers-that-be have decided that sex presently determined by the individual, obviously it is logically impossible to claim that race is still a matter of genetics, let alone skin color. This means it is now a moral imperative for everyone to henceforth accept that an individual is whatever race he declares himself to be, regardless if he happens to be cis-racial or trans-racial.

Therefore, in the future, please do not refer to me as any of my three biologically state-sanctioned racial heritages, (White, Hispanic, and Asian, to be precise), but rather, as trans-racial, Esquimaux and proud.

Qagaasakung.

Labels:

134 Comments:

Anonymous DrTorch September 03, 2013 9:05 AM  

That works.

Anonymous vryedenker September 03, 2013 9:09 AM  

I am proudly African. Jambo muddafahka. Hakuna matata.

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2013 9:10 AM  

Al la Elizabeth Warren

Blogger Nate September 03, 2013 9:12 AM  

So Clinton really was the first black president?

Anonymous Toby Temple September 03, 2013 9:23 AM  

Silence, Martians!

Anonymous ThirdMonkey September 03, 2013 9:25 AM  

Even though my biological ancestors are a mixture of English, Scots-Irish, Indian (feather, not dot) and German descent, I meet the US Census definition of Hispanic due to the fact that my family on both sides has been in New Mexico for five generations, and I was raised in a hispanic, not anglo, culture. If a professor with high cheekbones can become a senator, I can check white hispanic on the ATF 4473. Odale, mano!

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2013 9:27 AM  

Can I choose my height as well? I no longer desire to be 5'7".

Anonymous ck September 03, 2013 9:28 AM  

"At the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life…" - Justice Anthony Kennedy, Planned Parenthood v. Casey.

Anonymous joe doakes September 03, 2013 9:29 AM  

If I'm half Irish on my Mother's side, can I claim to be nobility, or do I get a disability?

Anonymous VD September 03, 2013 9:30 AM  

Can I choose my height as well? I no longer desire to be 5'7".

Of course. We would not wish to discriminate against the transheighted.

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2013 9:34 AM  

Thanks. I am all better now.
And fast...I want to be really fast.

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2013 9:36 AM  

How about the obese? Do they get to be....wait for it....Transfatty?

Blogger Uland September 03, 2013 9:37 AM  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brother_Ali

Blogger River Cocytus September 03, 2013 9:40 AM  

Martian.

Though there are no humans there yet, I will become naturalized.

And since there are no humans there yet, no one can claim to be native, yet.

FCFS yall

Blogger Booch Paradise September 03, 2013 9:43 AM  

If only George Zimmerman had thought of this in time.

Anonymous Peter Garstig September 03, 2013 9:46 AM  

Everybody gets to be what he desires to be.

Not too far off the 'pursuit of happiness'. And the circle is finally, after all those centuries, closed.

Yeah, I'm kidding.

Anonymous beerme September 03, 2013 9:46 AM  

I've decided to be an American Indian. Time to build a casino.

Anonymous ThirdMonkey September 03, 2013 9:51 AM  

Since all humans have an African origin, we're all brothas, which gives us all permission to ask the oft-repeated question, "What's up, my nigga?"

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 9:54 AM  

For the record

JoshJuly 08, 2013 2:57 PM

I guess I am missing how you are a person of color.

You racis.

If Vox identifies as a person of color, he is a person of color, either a cisracial or transracial one. Since race is just a social construct.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 9:57 AM  

My grandmother's family was part Italian, does that make me a latino person of color?

Anonymous Roundtine September 03, 2013 10:00 AM  

I'm pretty sure if people question you on your race, it is discrimination. At the very least, a hostile work environment. Change your race to African American after being hired, then tell people that you used to put AA as your race, but ran into racism, but when you put white, you got more job offers.

Anonymous Myrddin September 03, 2013 10:03 AM  

My dream of being a black lesbian is finally attainable.

Anonymous Roundtine September 03, 2013 10:03 AM  

If you really make a serious claim to be African American, the PC will do all its work for you. If people start talking about your race behind your back, questioning it, etc. hostile work environment. Collect $200.

Anonymous Brother Thomas September 03, 2013 10:07 AM  

Henceforth I am a 7’6”, 500 pound, black, aristocrat with an IQ of 160. Upon meeting me you should… no, you must bow, or curtsey, and exclaim “Your Eminent and Most Esteemed Highness.”

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 10:08 AM  

So you can choose which sex you identify as, but when it comes to which sex you're attracted to, you're just born that way.

I look forward to this contraction tearing apart the left in the next five years.

It's already starting with the cotton ceiling.

Anonymous T September 03, 2013 10:13 AM  

The state can change XY into XX...

And XX into XY...

So the State has proven materialism is bullshit!

Anonymous Salt September 03, 2013 10:19 AM  

Oh, great Vox. Now we'll have gays wanting to be gendered as KYs.

Anonymous Harsh September 03, 2013 10:19 AM  

Based on my partial Germanic heritage I'm going to identify as Saxon because that's much cooler than saying I'm white.

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 10:27 AM  

Since I'm getting genetic material from my husband and baby, I'm already a transhuman interracial chimera. Welcome to my world, boys.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 10:29 AM  

Since I'm getting genetic material from my husband and baby, I'm already a transhuman interracial chimera. 

Not to mention trans-species, what with the lingering horse DNA and all

Anonymous Peter Garstig September 03, 2013 10:36 AM  

This brings back memories of a movie where a guy thought he was a bird. It was probably called `bird`.

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 10:38 AM  

Josh, for the gazillionth time, I'm not going to talk to you about my husband's Broadsword of +10 Wife Laying. Stop begging. It's unbecoming.

Anonymous The other skeptic September 03, 2013 10:39 AM  

Well, it's a good things that we have a transracial, transreligions transverity pResident, then.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 10:42 AM  

I marely show you how you can earn more points for sovereignty bingo and you say neigh? How foalish of you.

Anonymous cheddarman September 03, 2013 10:44 AM  

I'm whatever gets me the most free stuff.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 10:45 AM  

Diversity bingo. Sovereignty bingo is for the calvinists.

Anonymous Jack Amok September 03, 2013 10:45 AM  

Why stop with real races. I claim to be Numenorean.


Wait, they probably have too much privilige, no good for racisssss lawsuits. I'd better switch to Orc.

Blogger River Cocytus September 03, 2013 10:47 AM  

I was going to say the Will To Power knows no limitations and then I realised...

'Will' is a genderist and racist constrcut, considering that it implies a male and white name. Therefore, to counteract this problem we shall henceforth refer to dear Nietzsche's idea as "The Jamaella to Power"

Update your stylebooks accordingly.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 10:48 AM  

I'm whatever gets me the most free stuff

Veteran black hispanic disabled transgendered lesbian who can't speak English and has a farm and a minority and women owned green energy business in a section 8(a) hubzone.

Blogger River Cocytus September 03, 2013 10:48 AM  

PS

"The Chelsea to Power" is also acceptable.

Anonymous cheddarman September 03, 2013 10:49 AM  

Come to think of it, I want to be 100% neanderthal. They were killed off by homosapiens, white black brown and yellow, so all you you people out there owe me a whole lot of money.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 10:49 AM  

'Will' is a genderist and racist constrcut, considering that it implies a male and white name

No, assuming that it implies a male and white name is racis and genderis

Blogger IM2L844 September 03, 2013 10:50 AM  

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Simultaneously vitally serious and entertaining!

What's not to like about this blog?

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 10:51 AM  

Come to think of it, I want to be 100% neanderthal. They were killed off by homosapiens, white black brown and yellow, so all you you people out there owe me a whole lot of money.

Didn't we already have a resident neanderthal at one point?

Anonymous Dr. Kenneth Noisewater September 03, 2013 10:55 AM  

Hey, I'm a thin, attractive man in a fat, ugly body. Do I get free Looks-reassignment surgery with Obamacare?

Anonymous Susan September 03, 2013 10:57 AM  

Josh,
Cotton ceiling? Not familiar with that one.

VD,
How does your Hawaiian fit in with the Asian? I thought you said you were part Hawaiian in one of your recent past posts. It fits if you are talking modern Hawaiian as opposed to the Native Hawaiian, of which there are only about 40-50k left, and who choose not to mix.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 11:02 AM  

href=" http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/04/caught-up-in-cotton/"> Cotton ceiling

Apparently the cotton ceiling refers to transgender women having to keep their panties on at lesbian orgies where all the cisgender women are naked.

Anonymous Susan September 03, 2013 11:04 AM  

Gotcha. Thanks Josh.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 11:05 AM  

Fixed Link?

Blogger Doorstop September 03, 2013 11:06 AM  

"Why stop with real races. I claim to be Numenorean."

+1

Anonymous Van September 03, 2013 11:07 AM  

I wanna be John Elway!

Anonymous Vidad September 03, 2013 11:17 AM  

Seriously... how much longer can this madness last?

Hoe long can people go before it all collapses?

Think this insanity is going to survive WWIII?

I dunno. I'm sure sick of it.

Anonymous JW September 03, 2013 11:19 AM  

"My grandmother's family was part Italian, does that make me a latino person of color?"

If you want to be, it is so!

Anonymous VryeDenker September 03, 2013 11:27 AM  

WW3 has been going on for a while now.

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2013 11:29 AM  

Since I have no idea what the ethnicity of my biological father is, I have to go from my mother's side of the family (my great-grandmother, who suffered from alzheimer's would only speak German in her last months), so there's some German there. I must also go by my most prominent characteristic (aside from being short - 5'7") - and that is I bear a striking resemblance to Robin Williams sans shirt (e.g. I am able to braid my shoulder and back hair should I choose to do so).

So my state-sanctioned heritage, which I will insist upon on all future censuses, is Hirsute Bewhiskered Troglodyte - nonspecific Germanic (because I am demonstrably less civilized than the average person residing in the states).

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 11:31 AM  

So my state-sanctioned heritage, which I will insist upon on all future censuses, is Hirsute Bewhiskered Troglodyte - nonspecific Germanic

So...Hairy Nazi?

Anonymous David of One September 03, 2013 11:33 AM  

You know that Ancestry.com has a genetic test for about $100?

Being 1/2 Sicilian means I'd probably have a sizable mixture of that 1/2 considering Sicily's history. I may very well do this someday soon, though it irks me that the results would end-up in some underground data storage facility in Nevada.

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2013 11:40 AM  

@Josh - We prefer Fleecy Authoritarians, but amongst our kind Hairy Nazi is allowable because it strengthens our solidarity and reminds us of our shared suffering.

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 11:44 AM  

Hey do you have any leftover ovens you're not using? I need them for a secret project.

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 11:55 AM  

Wait, wait, wait...Okay, Josh, now I see why you're so obsessed about the whole horse myth about my husband.

You think he's the Original Brony.

Anonymous DonReynolds September 03, 2013 11:55 AM  

We already do that, Vox. Race in this country is whatever YOU SAY IT IS.

Senator Elizabeth Warren has claimed to be American Indian since she was in college, when she had NO INDIAN background. With that bogus claim, she had preferential admissions and scholarships and preferential hiring after she graduated. It works.

I recall a redhead female I went to college with who needed money for tuition, so she simply went to the administration and applied for scholarship money reserved for black students. She was unusually white, so OF COURSE, there was a question about her QUALIFICATION to apply, and she simply told them...."MY MOTHER said I am". That killed off all the other questions, particularly since her mother had passed away.

In this country, we freely let people pick which race they want to use. People of mixed race seem to use this ability more readily than others, but we never objectively test for race in this country and we no longer allow phenotype to be the sole determinant of race. People can claim whatever race they like, even if it conflicts with information on their birth certificate.

Yes, the same is true for gender too.

Blogger ajw308 September 03, 2013 11:59 AM  

I am proudly African. Jambo muddafahka. Hakuna matata.
There's a whole lot of races from Africa. I was behind a guy at Costco yesterday who was blacker than sin and just chattering away "Scoobbi-da-bobo bobo-lobo hobo nobo hibbi da bohboh..." I kinda liked the way it sounded and since I can speak mock-Bohbohlese, think I will be Bohbohlene as long as it suits me.

Not only am I African, current evolutionary theory traces my roots back to Africa, lending credibility to my claim and my mock-Bohbohlese is content free, thus it's a perfect Policitally Correct language.

Anonymous cheddarman September 03, 2013 12:00 PM  

Nate is 1005 bad-ass. Does bad-ass count as a race?

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 12:00 PM  

AJW, do you know what it's like to have Pepsi come out of your nose?

DO YOU???

Ass.

Anonymous cheddarman September 03, 2013 12:01 PM  

I meant 100%

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 12:10 PM  

Or coffee with cream?

Anonymous cheddarman September 03, 2013 12:12 PM  

Come to think of it, I want to be 100% neanderthal. They were killed off by homosapiens, white black brown and yellow, so all you you people out there owe me a whole lot of money.

Didn't we already have a resident neanderthal at one point? - Josh

Josh, Koanic did not claim to be 100% neanderthal. I do. Now, pay me my reparations.

Anonymous Noah B. September 03, 2013 12:14 PM  

"Scoobbi-da-bobo bobo-lobo hobo nobo hibbi da bohboh..."

Those at least sound like words. What are the clicking noises some of them make?

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 12:19 PM  

You would click too if you were speaking a derivative of neanderthal ism...

Anonymous Carlotta September 03, 2013 12:20 PM  

Do we have to limit ourselves to actual races, or can we make one up?

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 12:20 PM  

It's kind of a "tock" sound, isn't it? Or maybe "tonk".

Blogger IM2L844 September 03, 2013 12:23 PM  

Dutch, Irish, Italian and Iroquois. No affirmative action for the lightly toasted special blend, but this is the easy setting?

Anonymous Carlotta September 03, 2013 12:23 PM  

OOHHH OHHH can I also chose my weight? This might not be a bad idea...

I declare that I am 55 pounds. If you question me on this, you are a weightiss...and raciss...since I am now Galacticong. A precious, protected race. We call dibs on all the free stuff first!

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 12:24 PM  

I heard that African language one time at a store and I thought the photo processing equipment had a serious glitch in it.

Anonymous Carlotta September 03, 2013 12:24 PM  

@ Joe Doaks

Irish Nobility is also a disability. So you get double checks!

Blogger Giraffe September 03, 2013 12:25 PM  

If we can pick our race, then it follows that we should be able to pick our species. I'm sure Sigyn wants to be a horse, of course, I'm a giraffe, Spacebunny could be a real bunny.

Josh could be a hybrid pony/human. The first real brony.

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 12:26 PM  

Miss Carlotta, are you anorexic too? Too skinny, gotta be at least 140 or 150 pounds, at that size, you can be wrestled with and ya wouldn't break.

Anonymous Salt September 03, 2013 12:27 PM  

Guess all Vegans can come out of the closet now, as it's not actually their eating habits.

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein September 03, 2013 12:28 PM  

Veteran black hispanic disabled transgendered lesbian who can't speak English and has a farm and a minority and women owned green energy business in a section 8(a) hubzone.

Yes?

You forgot to mention that I'm 6'2" and gots the chili. Even though i am much more "weight appropriate" at 6'2" than I was at 5'7", do I get to choose that also?

Anonymous jack September 03, 2013 12:30 PM  

So, Vox, your acronym would be TRE or TREP?

Vox-TRE. Doesn't completely sing out, but, what the heck. You maybe want perfection short of the heavenly reward?

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 12:32 PM  

I do. Now, pay me my reparations.

To your demands I will not cave, man

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 12:35 PM  

I'm sure Sigyn wants to be a horse, of course

You guys are just waiting for me to say "cowgirl".

Well, I'm not saying it.

Anonymous rycamor September 03, 2013 12:39 PM  

DonReynolds September 03, 2013 11:55 AM

We already do that, Vox. Race in this country is whatever YOU SAY IT IS.


You don't even have to say it. You just imply it.

My wife is from an upper-middle-class white Jamaican family (with a slight Caribbean native mix) that moved to Florida. Her sister simply had to put "Jamaican" as her race and the doors were instantly open for all the race-based scholarships.

Her brother married a Dutch woman and they moved to Texas. Due to the fact that he was born in Jamaica, the Texas school system actually forced them to register their son as "African-American".

Anonymous Baudelaire4 September 03, 2013 12:42 PM  

The concept of transracialism is not new, especially among the left.

Take the example of this ridiculus and self-righteous woman, who has decided that through the mysterious properties of "identity", she is both ethnic enough to claim victimhood and enough of a white liberal to act as a moral arbitrator and decide when someone is a racist for doing an ass-shaking dance at an awards show.

http://leighalexander.net/on-twerking-and-being-mixed-race/

Anonymous Jake-the-Rake September 03, 2013 12:43 PM  

On Modays and Thursdays I was born in the Belle Epoque .

It used to be gender, race and date of birth. Gender's gone, race is gone... place and date of birth are still hanging on too stringently.

On Tuesdays and Fridays I was born in the far flung Isles of Langerhans...

Oh and on Sundays I'm God

Anonymous Carlotta September 03, 2013 12:44 PM  

@ Cederq

HOW DARE YOU! I SAID I WAS 55 pounds! How dare you say I am more then that, how dare you say I lie and how dare you say that I can not be wrestled with.

Bully, prepare yourself for my forthcoming gender-weightiss lawsuit. Oh, and I bet you only said that because of my new race. Booyah Triple threat.

Anonymous Stilicho September 03, 2013 12:44 PM  

You think he's the Original Brony.

So THAT'S how it got started. It also explains his ramblings about his followers.

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 12:45 PM  

Jake, what about Wednesday and Saturday, are you just Jake then?

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 12:48 PM  

Miss Carlotta, I wrestled a 95 pound woman, I broke her...

Anonymous Harsh September 03, 2013 12:48 PM  

@Cheddarman

Josh, Koanic did not claim to be 100% neanderthal. I do. Now, pay me my reparations.

As a self-identifying Saxon and member of the people who conquered your ancestral homeland I am willing to pay you reparations of the kind appropriate to your species: two woolly mammoths and a necklace of saber-toothed tiger teeth.

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 12:55 PM  

So THAT'S how it got started. It also explains his ramblings about his followers.

Minions are not the same as followers. Minions get health and dental, for instance.

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 12:56 PM  

Miss Sigyn, do we get Sundays off, and two week vacation for being a minion?

Anonymous Josh September 03, 2013 12:57 PM  

Are your minions unionized? I dare say that would be an effective way to prevent your husband's efforts at world domination.

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 12:59 PM  

On Tuesdays and Fridays I was born in the far flung Isles of Langerhans...

Now I've got that Weird Al song stuck in my head. Thank you.

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 1:01 PM  

Isn't the "Isles of Langerhans" the insulin producing cells of the pancreas?

Anonymous Concerned Rabbit Hunter September 03, 2013 1:03 PM  

"Well, it's a good things that we have a transracial, transreligions transverity pResident, then."

I think you meant: Transveracial President.

Anonymous CarpeOro September 03, 2013 1:09 PM  

Say it out loud, I'm black and I'm proud...
Sort of like that movie with a bunch of down and out Irish starting a R&B band. Looks like the surreal life isn't just a TV show any more.

Anonymous Myrddin September 03, 2013 1:11 PM  

My Orc Lesbian Pancreas attracts every other Orc Lesbian Pancreas in the universe with a force proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them.

Anonymous Carlotta September 03, 2013 1:12 PM  

@ Cederq

She must not have been a feminist. They can take you out one handed and can don anything any man can do much better.

Of course, she was 95 pounds, sniff, porker.

Anonymous vryedenker September 03, 2013 1:13 PM  

"Scoobbi-da-bobo bobo-lobo hobo nobo hibbi da bohboh..."

You jest, but he sounds Congolese.

Anonymous Jake-the-Rake September 03, 2013 1:13 PM  

"...the immigrants came from small towns with strange names like Smegma, Spasmodic, and the far flung Isles of Langerhans..."

Firesign Theater

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 1:16 PM  

@ Miss Carlotta, I hang my head in shame, I am a non-requited porker... Of course she is the one that ambushed me and FORCED me to wrestle her

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 1:17 PM  

Are your minions unionized? I dare say that would be an effective way to prevent your husband's efforts at world domination.

Well, they tried joining the SEIU. His Lordship even attended the meeting, held in a school auditorium*. After he reminded them that we were technically a terrorist organization or maybe a cult and not a government agency, it all kind of fizzled.

Then we had a potluck dinner and some light dancing, John Travolta impressions punishable by death as usual. All very nice.


* We claimed to be a small group of neo-druids in need of a place to do our initiation rites. The admins were a little skeptical at first because we wanted to be indoors instead of on the playground, but when Sandoval showed up with a couple of goats and a wicker basket large enough to hide in, they seemed convinced and left us well alone.

The goats were delicious, by the way.

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 1:18 PM  

Oh, and she was in a state of undress...

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 1:21 PM  

If Cederq breaks out slides of his honeymoon, I'm leaving.

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 1:27 PM  

No pictures, no slides, don't believe in pictures of graven images.

Anonymous Sigyn September 03, 2013 1:29 PM  

don't believe in pictures of graven images.

So it was just an idol amusement for you, Cederq?

Anonymous David of One September 03, 2013 1:33 PM  

I'm not vibrant.

Anonymous Cederq September 03, 2013 1:34 PM  

Idol or idle? don't know, don't care.

Anonymous Brother Thomas September 03, 2013 1:34 PM  

On Tuesdays I'm a Pteranodon.

Affirm or prepare for punishment... qaaawk... qaaawk...


Anonymous Stilicho September 03, 2013 1:44 PM  

And now for something completely different...

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.

Reg: What's the *point*?

Francis: What?

Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?

Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Blogger The Deuce September 03, 2013 1:57 PM  

Bard:
"Can I choose my height as well? I no longer desire to be 5'7"."

Vox:
"Of course. We would not wish to discriminate against the transheighted."

I think we need to go further than this to really make things fair. If a transheighted man who identifies as 6'3" hits on a girl in a bar, and she refuses to sleep with him despite a history of hookups with biologically tall men she met in bars, she should be sued for discrimination and forced to either have drunken sex with him or pay a fine not exceeding the sum of his cover charge, any drinks he may have bought, and the price of a hooker with her height, measurements, and general attractiveness on a scale of 1-10.

We can - we MUST - end the discrimination against the non-cisheightened, one sexually frustrated short-stack as a time!

Anonymous TheVillageIdiotRet September 03, 2013 2:23 PM  

I always felt like I was a lesbian,
trapped in a mans body.
So what would that make me?

DannyR

Blogger hadley September 03, 2013 2:25 PM  

"but we never objectively test for race in this country and we no longer allow phenotype to be the sole determinant of race. People can claim whatever race they like, even if it conflicts with information on their birth certificate."

Here is the tricky bit. The Feds have set-asides for minorities. The last tar baby thry want to get stuck on is deciding who is a "real Negro". So they farm that work out to independent agencies. There is someone who is responsible for your area. If you claim minority status for set-asides, the agency "investigates" you (including home visits) to determine whether you will be an Official Federal Government Approved Negro. And, yes, they do deny some folk's applications.

What hasn't been done, to my knowledge, is a FOIA request for the various Negro Certification Agencies' files. Since the agency certification is a mandatory step in getting Federal benefits, I believe their processes, criteria, and decision-making would be subject to FOIA requests.

Perhaps we should have some fun. Any lawyers out there with ideas?

Blogger hadley September 03, 2013 2:48 PM  

And remember the One-Drop Rule. You can be "light, bright, almos' white" and still be an Official Negro. Hell, look at Charlie Rangel, Ben Jealous, and Adam Clayton Powell, for example!

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2013 2:51 PM  

No matter what you might think, I am not Anonymous.

Anonymous English-Irish-Germanic Hypenated September 03, 2013 3:01 PM  

Indeed

Blogger James Dixon September 03, 2013 3:15 PM  

> Do we have to limit ourselves to actual races, or can we make one up?

I want to be a Tnuctipun.

Anonymous Tardo September 03, 2013 3:37 PM  

Speaking of transracial...

Bashar al-Assad ... why does this Syrian dude have white skin and blue eyes?

Anonymous LL September 03, 2013 3:41 PM  

It's all fun and games until a black man calls the wrong person a nigger. This really opens the door to "hate language" fights. It shall be fun to watch. Oh, and note in the article that they specify Carmona is a Puerto Rican-American black, not an African-American one. Maybe that's why he got dinged? Or perhaps he didn't convey enough love in his tone when he was screaming at her. Either way, I found this interesting, especially given that it was in New York.

Anonymous liljoe September 03, 2013 5:19 PM  

You can pick your race, you can pick your species. But you can't pick your species' race?

Blogger Lawrence September 03, 2013 5:38 PM  

Sometimes I wonder if gaming isn't pushing this trend. It's like these people think life is a Playstation game, or World of Warcraft. Pick your race, sex, color and starting abilities. It all has to be fair, after all.

Anonymous DT September 03, 2013 5:57 PM  

It's all fun and games until a black man calls the wrong person a nigger.

$250,000 in damages??? For being called a name, overreacting, and crying in a bathroom for 45 minutes? Are you kidding me?

* What is wrong with American juries?

* Why would anyone hire a black woman with stories like this in the news?

Anonymous duckman September 03, 2013 6:47 PM  

As a fellow 5'7"er, Bard, I declare you a height-traitor, denounce you to our tribe, and recommend that you be subjected to re-education and mandatory self-criticism. You must be made an example of. Power to the Sort-of-Short!

Anonymous duckman September 03, 2013 7:04 PM  

Each may determine her/his own height and weight. We no longer bow to the tyranny of standard weights and measures. We no longer privilege the decimal hegemony. Let us transcend measurement. We shall make all as we wish. We are the new masters of reality. Let all creation worship us!

Anonymous TheVillageIdiotRet September 03, 2013 7:28 PM  

80 Acres and 2 mules
Being bi-cultural my family faced twice the discrimination .
German father,Irish mother.
Born in 1911 hells kitchen,NY.
My father spent the first 6 years of his life being raised by his German Grandparents speaking mostly german.
In 1917 because of anti-german sentiment,his Irish mother and German father took him from the grandparents and they moved into the Irish neighborhood ( which was basically moving around the block)My 6 year old father and his dad were told not to talk,and my dads mom did all the talking,and the Rapp,s became the new Irish family on the block.
wiki
20th Century
[edit] World War I anti-German sentiment
See also: American entry into World War I‎
During World War I, German Americans were sometimes accused of being too sympathetic to the German Empire. Former president Theodore Roosevelt denounced "hyphenated Americanism", insisting that dual loyalties were impossible in wartime. A small minority came out for Germany, or ridiculed the British (as did H. L. Mencken). Similarly, Harvard psychology professor Hugo Münsterberg dropped his efforts to mediate between America and Germany, and threw his efforts behind the German cause.[48]
The Justice Department attempted to prepare a list of all German aliens, counting approximately 480,000 of them, more than 4,000 of whom were imprisoned in 1917-18. The allegations included spying for Germany, or endorsing the German war effort.[49] Thousands were forced to buy war bonds to show their loyalty.[50] The Red Cross barred individuals with German last names from joining in fear of sabotage. One person was killed by a mob; in Collinsville, Illinois, German-born Robert Prager was dragged from jail as a suspected spy and lynched.[51] A Minnesota minister was tarred and feathered when he was overheard praying in German with a dying woman.[52]
In Chicago, Frederick Stock temporarily stepped down as conductor of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra until he finalized his naturalization papers. Orchestras replaced music by German composer Wagner with French composer Berlioz. In Cincinnati, the public library was asked to withdraw all German books from its shelves.[53] German-named streets were renamed. For example, in Indianapolis, Germania Avenue was renamed Pershing Avenue — for a World War I general of German descent. Even the name of the town, Berlin, Michigan, was changed to Marne, Michigan (honoring those who fought in the Battle of Marne). In Iowa, in the 1918 Babel Proclamation, the governor prohibited all foreign languages in schools and public places. Nebraska banned instruction in any language except English, but the U.S. Supreme Court ruled the ban illegal in 1923 (Meyer v. Nebraska).[54] The response of German Americans to these tactics was often to "Americanize" names (e.g. Schmidt to Smith, Müller to Miller) and limit the use of the German language in public places, especially churches.[55]
"
And as a Irishman we always faced discrimination in the workplace
Help Wanted NO Irish
So yes 80 acres and 2 mules.
You know what?
You keep the 2 mules, I'll throw in my 4 Jackasses in Washington DC.:
My 2 Congressmen, Senator and President.
and we'll call it a 100 acres even.

DannyR

Anonymous TheVillageIdiotRet September 03, 2013 7:47 PM  

or would that be 2 Senators,Congressman and President?
I always get them mixed up

DannyR

Blogger Eric Wilson September 03, 2013 8:36 PM  

Stilicho,

Now I want to watch The Life of Brian.

Blogger mina smith September 03, 2013 8:46 PM  

"I always felt like I was a lesbian,
trapped in a mans body." - Wanna hear something scary?

When I was living in Chicago (downtown, Belmont and Broadway) and older (60?) man actually said this to me.

Anonymous Dc September 04, 2013 1:02 AM  

"Why stop with real races. I claim to be Numenorean."

I always knew I was a High Elf.

Anonymous Toby Temple September 04, 2013 2:43 AM  

I am a terran-xel'naga hybrid!!

Anonymous Orlok September 04, 2013 7:00 AM  

Shouldn't your three races read, Caucasoid,Mongoloid and Negroid?

Anonymous Orlok September 04, 2013 7:39 AM  

NEVER MIND

Anonymous Eldar (formerly Snotling) September 05, 2013 11:03 PM  

Curses, that I discover this two days later. I wish to become an Eldar. Not one of Tolkien's Eldar, but rather the kind which have their codex written by Phil Kelly. And perhaps later I shall change my mind and become something else...

On a side note, this sort of thing reminds me of The People's Cube. I recommend you check it out.

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