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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Italy v Uruguay

That was both a disaster of incompetent strategy and a chaotic mess. Marchesio was sent off for nothing I could see, while Luis Suarez got away with BITING Chiellini in the shoulder.  With a 1-0 win, Uruguay goes through, but they may lose their best player if Suarez is, quite rightly, given a multi-game ban by FIFA on the basis of the video. FIFA won't want to take one of the game's best strikers out of the tournament... but he clearly BIT the guy!

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73 Comments:

Blogger Random June 24, 2014 2:01 PM  

So was his last 10-game ban handed down by FIFA or by the English FA? If it was FIFA, they may have to ban him for life.

Biting?! Seriously, who does that? How can this guy have THAT much of an impulse control problem, on a stage this big?

Anonymous bob k. mando June 24, 2014 2:06 PM  

Soccer.

it's not just FOR freaks to watch, it's also played by them.

Anonymous Porky June 24, 2014 2:07 PM  

It was FA that banned him last.

The Cannibal strikes again!!

Blogger Anth June 24, 2014 2:07 PM  

The last ban was handed down by the English FA but it was longer than it may otherwise have been because he had a previous biting offence when playing in the Dutch league. Since all federations work under the FIFA umbrella they should, technically, take domestic bans for the same type of offence into account (when it is something so far out of the sphere of regular offences). Wether they will remains to be seen.

Anonymous zen0 June 24, 2014 2:14 PM  

Marchesio went over the ball and spiked the Uruguayan in the calf. Pretty obvious on replay.

The referee did well considering all the bs that was going on.

I can't imagine fifa suspending Suarez, but maybe they could mandate that he play with a Hannibal Lecter muzzle on like other mentally disturbed individuals.

If it is any consolation, Suarez did a bang up job of screwing up a few offensive chances in the closing minutes.
Maybe his buck teeth still hurt from that nasty Chellini shoving his shoulder into his mouth.

Blogger Historicus June 24, 2014 2:23 PM  

Some of the big guns are out of the tournament: Italy, Spain, England...ok Italy and Spain. Portugal will follow soon.

Chile/Brazil looks to be a BIG game. Argentina have not looked that good. Brazil look only barely above average. There's a good chance a new champion will be crowned.

Anonymous VD June 24, 2014 2:27 PM  

Marchesio went over the ball and spiked the Uruguayan in the calf. Pretty obvious on replay.

It was a yellow.

I can't imagine fifa suspending Suarez, but maybe they could mandate that he play with a Hannibal Lecter muzzle on like other mentally disturbed individuals.

I must say, I like the cut of your jib.

Anonymous wEz June 24, 2014 2:29 PM  

Meh. Mke Tyson gave it a 4.

Parity is upon us in soccer. Spain, Italy, England, all gone. Granted, some of those squads have had WC issues before, but the days of perennial powers coasting through teams in the group stage are done.

Anonymous MK June 24, 2014 2:40 PM  

I liked France in the first two matches.

Blogger lordabacus June 24, 2014 2:48 PM  

Door wide open for a Costa Rica or a Colombia to take it all, that is, IF the officials will ALLOW Brazil to be knocked out. ACC basketball zebras and NFL replacement refs think this tournament has been poorly officiated.

Anonymous 691 June 24, 2014 2:50 PM  

Suarez's taste is varied, but decidedly Mediterranean (Bakkal is Moroccan/Dutch; Ivanovic is Serbian; Chiellini Italian). I guess Costa Rican is not exotic enough for him and maybe he assumes the English arent much better than their cuisine.

Anonymous Cameron June 24, 2014 2:53 PM  

3 biting incidents? Suarez should be banned for life from all forms of the game. No other penalty is acceptable.

Anonymous NateM June 24, 2014 3:03 PM  

To be fair, there are NO good Italian places in Uruguay. Least of all one to get pasta how he likes it, al dente.

Already can't wait for the season to start for Liverpool.

Blogger The Remnant June 24, 2014 3:17 PM  

That was one of the dirtier games I've seen; lots of flopping, grappling, spiking, and even biting. I love soccer and played it through high school, but this "win at all costs" mentality that prevails in the sport is a serious turnoff. It reminds me that soccer is a corrupt Old World sport with Old World rules (i.e., none). Latin America may be in the New World geographically, but it was colonized and molded in the spirit of the Old.

Anonymous Nothanks June 24, 2014 3:21 PM  

I have done my best to appreciate these matches, but this is it for me. As much as these players are skilled and there's a grace and fluidity to the game, something just doesn't sit right with all the diving, exaggerated injuries and constant false claims for possession of the ball whenever it goes out. Cheating happens in all sports, but it seems to be integral to this game. I asked some friends what sport they'd want their boys to play and what they teach them beyond the obvious physical skills:

Golf - patience, perfectionism, persistence
Tennis - the ability to face up to an opponent on your own, to duel, endurance
Track and field - total dedication, persistence, sacrifice
Contact sports - the traditional male values of stoicism, courage, fortitude, strength, dominance
Football/soccer - ...cheating, acting, boastfulness, vanity, hysteria and so much petulance... can anyone think of a single positive behavioral lesson it teaches the boys watching it from around the world? Truly the game for our rotten future.

Suarez takes all the above to their logical conclusion, as we saw in his histrionics after the Uruguay win over England.

No thanks. This is not manly.

Anonymous Josh June 24, 2014 3:29 PM  

Cool story bro

Anonymous jack June 24, 2014 3:31 PM  

zen0 June 24, 2014 2:14 PM

Lector mask...

wins the thread!

Blogger John Cunningham June 24, 2014 3:32 PM  

A muzzle on Suarez has some appeal, esp if it is combined with a Mexican luchador-type color scheme...or maybe he could put ads on it?

Anonymous Porky June 24, 2014 3:40 PM  

Last week I asked a Uruguayan friend if he thought Suarez had an ego problem. He said that Suarez just has a lot of team spirit.

Anonymous People of Walmart June 24, 2014 3:42 PM  

ps: SOCCER IS GAY

Anonymous y June 24, 2014 3:43 PM  

Nothanks = classic concern trolling

Anonymous Meatwad June 24, 2014 3:47 PM  

Seriously cannot believe Suarez. He's already been suspended for this twice in his career. Why does he continue to bite people? It's insane.

Agree with the card to Marchesio being harsh. Should have been yellow. CONMEBOL and CONCACAF showing that time zone might be the most important factor in this world cup.

If Ivory Coast advances this afternoon (as expected) it would look like this so far:
CONMEBOL: 4-0
CONCACAF: 2-0
CAF: 1-1
UEFA: 1-5 (!)
AFC/OFC: 0-2

Interesting...

Anonymous Nothanks June 24, 2014 3:47 PM  

y.. no I have been following the tournament and all the footie threads. I watched some Liverpool games at the end of the last Premier League season and those were better, this is the first time I have sat down to watch a World Cup. Is it automatically trolling if someone doesn't like what you like?

Blogger sapopular June 24, 2014 3:47 PM  

Actually, Suarez is Freddy Mercury without mustache...

Anonymous y June 24, 2014 3:53 PM  

" Is it automatically trolling if someone doesn't like what you like?"

It is concern trolling when you spout off your BS under fake name... in the World Cup thread. I hope queers lie you NEVER watch a football game again. Stick with tennis you pussy. NOBODY CARES. Stop concern trolling.

Anonymous trev006 June 24, 2014 3:53 PM  

Well guys, I thought Uruguay had a pretty good game. After realizing that well-regarded European teams are on their way home, I'm confident that Suarez and Uruguay will be able to eat any other team on the pitch.

:D

Anonymous Josh June 24, 2014 3:55 PM  

Is it automatically trolling if someone doesn't like what you like?

No, but long comments creating an elaborate theoretical foundation so you can feign objectivity are in poor taste.

Those of us who aren't soccer fans are content to post the occasional "gay" or link to electric six videos.

Blogger JDC June 24, 2014 4:01 PM  

Pity poor Suarez, he chipped his tooth on Chiellini's scapula. He has grounds for a lawsuit I believe. Italian should always be served without bones, unless it's ossobuco.

Anonymous NorthernHamlet June 24, 2014 4:11 PM  

Nothanks,

You forgot ballet: precision, technical skill, spacial assessment, and stamina.

Forget soccer, my boys won't play anything but ballet for the obvious reasons. Sign yours up today.

Blogger ScuzzaMan June 24, 2014 4:46 PM  

Rugby, ffs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNZUDOXMh1w

Anonymous LysanderSpooner June 24, 2014 4:51 PM  

Either Suarez smelled the meatballs, or was it his overbite.

Blogger Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 5:32 PM  

Chiellini clearly rammed his shoulder into Suarez's mouth.

Blogger Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 5:34 PM  

Biting?! Seriously, who does that?

Mike Tyson, for one.

Blogger Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 5:36 PM  

have done my best to appreciate these matches, but this is it for me. As much as these players are skilled and there's a grace and fluidity to the game, something just doesn't sit right with all the diving, exaggerated injuries and constant false claims for possession of the ball whenever it goes out. Cheating happens in all sports, but it seems to be integral to this game. I asked some friends what sport they'd want their boys to play and what they teach them beyond the obvious physical skills:

Golf - patience, perfectionism, persistence
Tennis - the ability to face up to an opponent on your own, to duel, endurance
Track and field - total dedication, persistence, sacrifice
Contact sports - the traditional male values of stoicism, courage, fortitude, strength, dominance
Football/soccer - ...cheating, acting, boastfulness, vanity, hysteria and so much petulance... can anyone think of a single positive behavioral lesson it teaches the boys watching it from around the world? Truly the game for our rotten future.

Suarez takes all the above to their logical conclusion, as we saw in his histrionics after the Uruguay win over England.

No thanks. This is not manly.


You butthurt, bro?

Anonymous roger u June 24, 2014 5:46 PM  

Nothanks,
How about Calvin Ball, AKA Aussie Rules Football

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrDaehsqS9g

Anonymous umph June 24, 2014 5:54 PM  

I mean wow? really? haven't you seen the movie alive? this is a part of the beautiful Uruguayan sporting culture as practiced by their rugby and now soccer players. the ignorance and racism shown here against these wonderful sportsman is frankly disgusting. would you invite an Italian or greek over and whine about their garlic breathe, a Frenchman his body oudor , a blackmans stupidity and propensity for violence, a jew for his cheapness and the contempt he holds for your culture, an Irishman his love of drink and violence, a Mexican his dishonesty and disorderliness, a Russian his drunken brutality? of course not. and we have a word for people who do. RACsIsT. when one invites A uruguayen don't blame him or her for being a uruguayen accept him or her for the wonderful beautiful human being he or she is. stop being bigots really>

Anonymous umph June 24, 2014 5:55 PM  

also please recycle

Blogger V June 24, 2014 6:03 PM  

Out: fut-bol
In: canni-bol

(iowahawk)

Anonymous anon123 June 24, 2014 6:06 PM  

Ivory Coast robbed in ET!

Blogger AdognamedOp June 24, 2014 6:22 PM  

The Italians thought they could flop their way to the next round. What an ugly match.
Least I dont have to see the Jersey shore boys waving flags and honking their horns around town. No, I get to see the Slouvaki squad celebrating instead. Eh, good for them. They get Costa Rica next.

Anonymous Viking June 24, 2014 6:24 PM  

Zidane class scandal.

Anonymous VD June 24, 2014 6:28 PM  

Ivory Coast robbed in ET!

They weren't robbed. The defender clearly caught the Greek player's foot as he was shooting in the area. Not even close. But it happened before he struck the ball; it was why he struck it so weirdly. I thought it was a bad call at first, but when you see the whole thing, it was the correct call.

Anonymous YIH June 24, 2014 6:57 PM  

Yesterday there was someone who asked ''how does FIFA break ties in the standings?''.
Admittedly I don't know. I how real football does it (a extensive series of tiebreakers based on stats) but if all else fails, a coin toss.
With soccer shouldn't it be done by holding an auction? Highest bidder breaks the tie.

Blogger Joe A. June 24, 2014 7:13 PM  

Ya... Italy lost due to a questionable red card. Not the kind of match I wanted to see.

Anonymous Anonymous June 24, 2014 7:44 PM  

This match is prima facie evidence as to why soccer sucks.

Blogger Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 7:50 PM  

The speed, excitement, drama, and talent on display in soccer are reasons why the sport is so popular.

Anonymous zen0 June 24, 2014 8:34 PM  

Yesterday there was someone who asked ''how does FIFA break ties in the standings?

In the group stage it is by points, and if a tie in points, goals for and against. If those are tied, then they hold the auction.

The group of 16 is knockout, so they go extra time and then a shootout.

Anonymous zen0 June 24, 2014 8:38 PM  

Anonymous June 24, 2014 7:44 PM

This match is prima facie evidence as to why soccer sucks.


Gross rule violation. Red card for you. Go to the stands.

I was thinking, however, during the first half, "I hope a lot of americans aren't watching and thinking ' Is this what we are supposed to aspire to?'"

Anonymous bob k. mando June 24, 2014 8:38 PM  

Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 7:50 PM
and talent on display in soccer



i already pointed out with the American tie, World Cup level soccer players make mistakes ( target fixation, inability to defend on the backpedal or sidestep which would enable them to maintain visual contact with the backside threats, failure to mark free attacking players ) that i would have been ashamed of in elementary school.

are some of their ball handling skills and feints amazing? yes.

but their positional and defensive play are shit. and i see this on most of the teams whenever i bother to watch them.

which, as with the US tie, is pretty much only the highlights when they replay something at the sports bar.

Anonymous anon123 June 24, 2014 8:42 PM  

You are correct sir. Upon further review the play stands as called.

Anonymous zen0 June 24, 2014 8:49 PM  

I thought it was a bad call at first, but when you see the whole thing, it was the correct call.

I had to look at it 4 times on replay because it was so fast, but the reason he tripped over his own heel is because his shooting foot was interfered with by the lower leg of the Ivory Coaster.

Anonymous anon123 June 24, 2014 8:53 PM  

It was appropriate that Chiellini, one of the all time great interpreters of the opera that is calcio, should complain about the indifference toward his bite wound by an unsympathetic Mr. Rodriguez, who no doubt has witnessed much worse in the Mexican leagues.

Blogger Tommy Hass June 24, 2014 9:19 PM  

"Biting?! Seriously, who does that? How can this guy have THAT much of an impulse control problem, on a stage this big?"

Oliver Kahn.

Blogger Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 9:31 PM  

i already pointed out with the American tie, World Cup level soccer players make mistakes

Yes, they certainly make mistakes, such as getting lazy in the last few minutes of the game even when everyone knew how much time was left, as the Americans did in their match against Portugal.

Anonymous zen0 June 24, 2014 10:06 PM  

@ LBF

Yes, they certainly make mistakes, such as getting lazy in the last few minutes of the game even when everyone knew how much time was left, as the Americans did in their match against Portugal.

Lazy, or just tired? Its hot and humid. This is why substitutes have scored 15 or more goals in this round. Your a Fogey. You know old people tire out faster.

Blogger Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 10:29 PM  

I'm not old. I'm not even middle-aged yet.

Anonymous scomo June 24, 2014 11:17 PM  

This is why hockey is superior to soccer. Can you cite a hockey player who is a 3-time biter? Any biter in hockey would have the shit kicked out of him the first time he did it and wouldn't dare do it again. The shit-kicking would likely be administered by his own team.

Blogger Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 11:20 PM  

Hockey is awesome, but it doesn't have the beauty, drama, and grace of soccer.

Anonymous bob k. mando June 24, 2014 11:50 PM  

Laguna Beach Fogey June 24, 2014 9:31 PM
they certainly make mistakes, such as getting lazy in the last few minutes of the game



the error at the 5' goal was MUCH more incompetent than the stoppage time goal.

in the first goal, THREE attackers came through the defensive screen unmarked, unobstructed and unimpeded. because all of the defenders ( excepting the goalie ) were playing like tards.

none of this was exceptional play on the part of the attackers. it was a practical result of basic incompetence on the part of the defenders.

and these men get paid six to seven figures a year to play this game.

unacceptable.

the stoppage goal was really only a failure by the rearmost defender because only a single attacker was in the vicinity. however, the entire defending screen was still playing improperly, positioning their bodies so that they physically could NOT observe the portions of the field which they were RESPONSIBLE to defend.

fortunately, i don't pay attention to this game at the pro level and have no investment in any of the teams so i don't really give a fuck ... beyond the humor value in being able to call everybody gay.

Anonymous corvinus June 25, 2014 12:34 AM  

Actually, Suarez is Freddy Mercury without mustache...

I was thinking more along Ozzie Osbourne lines.

This is why hockey is superior to soccer. Can you cite a hockey player who is a 3-time biter? Any biter in hockey would have the shit kicked out of him the first time he did it and wouldn't dare do it again. The shit-kicking would likely be administered by his own team.

Maybe because in hockey it's legal to administer a good old a$$-whupping without having to use teef.

Hockey is awesome, but it doesn't have the beauty, drama, and grace of soccer.

It's like a smaller, more intense soccer on ice.

Blogger Laguna Beach Fogey June 25, 2014 12:49 AM  

beyond the humor value in being able to call everybody gay.

Funny, that's what we call fans of American football, basketball, and baseball.

Anonymous bob k. mando June 25, 2014 12:54 AM  

Laguna Beach Fogey June 25, 2014 12:49 AM
Funny, that's what we call fans of American football, basketball, and baseball.




arrrrrgh. *clutches chest*

you wound me, sir. you cut me to the quick.

too bad i don't really care about any of those ( beyond the obvious social dynamics games such as Sterling ) either.

Blogger AdognamedOp June 25, 2014 1:00 AM  

As much as I enjoyed seeing my Rangers advance to the finals, I still despise Bettmann for ruining the game trying to up the goal count.
The enforcer is all about dead in the NHL. In fact, a bunch of ex NHL goons that suffered concussions- from getting unched in the face too many times-have banded together against the NHL to stop the fighting, and maybe get some money.
Retaliation usually brings suspensions nowadays.
Carcillo missed 5 playoff games when he retailated for the Stephen, jaw breaking incident against Montreal.

Anonymous Anonymous June 25, 2014 1:37 AM  

Best comment ever:
I mean wow? really? haven't you seen the movie alive? this is a part of the beautiful Uruguayan sporting culture as practiced by their rugby and now soccer players. the ignorance and racism shown here against these wonderful sportsman is frankly disgusting. would you invite an Italian or greek over and whine about their garlic breathe, a Frenchman his body oudor , a blackmans stupidity and propensity for violence, a jew for his cheapness and the contempt he holds for your culture, an Irishman his love of drink and violence, a Mexican his dishonesty and disorderliness, a Russian his drunken brutality? of course not. and we have a word for people who do. RACsIsT. when one invites A uruguayen don't blame him or her for being a uruguayen accept him or her for the wonderful beautiful human being he or she is. stop being bigots really>

Anonymous scoobius dubious June 25, 2014 1:50 AM  

Nothanks: "Golf - patience, perfectionism, persistence
Tennis - the ability to face up to an opponent on your own, to duel, endurance
Track and field - total dedication, persistence, sacrifice
Contact sports - the traditional male values of stoicism, courage, fortitude, strength, dominance"

Good god, man! Do you realize your sin of omission?!?

Baseball: complexity, subtlety, precision, the grace of slowness and the grace of speed
Hockey: SKATING! And STICK-HANDLING!!! Hockey is the sport soccer would have been if it hadn't been invented and played by primitive retards with no imagination and no metal-working skills. And unlike in soccer, in hockey... stuff actually HAPPENS.

Also, while I respect the thought... ballet is not a sport, it is an art. I've dated a ballerina or two... now THAT'S both a sport AND an art.

p.s. I noticed that the England team is called "England" and not "United Kingdom". What gives? Are Scotland and Wales fielding their own teams too?

Anonymous scoobius dubious June 25, 2014 1:59 AM  

"Hockey is awesome, but it doesn't have the beauty, drama, and grace of soccer."

The lack of good taste, it burns, it burns!

I don't believe you understand the meaning of words like beauty, drama, and grace. Of course, in these respects, baseball surpasses both, but... oh it's no use explaining to chuckleheads. Go back to watching "The Shawshank Redemption", I bet you think that's full of beauty, drama and grace, too. I mean, Morgan Freeman! Am I right? Am I right?

Anonymous Susan June 25, 2014 2:41 AM  

According to a link on MSN homepage, Suarez is facing a ban of up to 24 months for his infantile antics. I think that it was rotten officiating to give his team the win. The Uruguay team should have been bounced out of the WC and sent home.

Anonymous zen0 June 25, 2014 3:01 AM  

The Uruguay team should have been bounced out of the WC and sent home.

Fascist.

Anonymous Mavwreck June 25, 2014 5:29 AM  

scoobius dubious - you said that:

Hockey is the sport soccer would have been if it hadn't been invented and played by primitive retards with no imagination and no metal-working skills.

Soccer was actually "invented" (or at least codified) in 19th century England. I don't have a great source for that other than Wikipedia, but I believe someone else in an earlier World Cup thread lamented England's performance by saying something like "we gave this game to the world and in return they're kicking our butts in it".

Also, yes, the four major components of the UK (England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland) field their own national soccer teams. I don't know if some smaller components (Shetland Isles, etc) have their own teams or not.

England and Scotland even have separate club leagues. The Premier League we think of when we hear about Manchester United, Liverpool, and Arsenal is the English league (actually the top league - they have a whole multi-tier structure). Scotland has its own league - their best-known names are Celtic and Rangers.

FYI, the separate-teams-for-each-UK-component is also done in rugby (and maybe other sports).

Anonymous meh June 25, 2014 6:20 AM  

This is why hockey is superior to soccer. Can you cite a hockey player who is a 3-time biter? Any biter in hockey would have the shit kicked out of him the first time he did it and wouldn't dare do it again. The shit-kicking would likely be administered by his own team.

As usual the simpler explanation is best: ice hockey players, lacking teeth, are in no danger of biting each other.

Anonymous Jason C June 25, 2014 7:53 AM  

Two year ban. That'll do.

Anonymous Cameron June 25, 2014 8:59 AM  

No sport competes with soccer in terms of combing tactics, skill and teamwork (something individual sports doesn't offer).

Like LBF and all elite educated sons of the British Empire I played rugby union at school and it's a wonderful sport. However it's a highly atomised (not as much as American football obviously) game and is a rather dull sport to watch on television. Probably the best game in terms of combining all the attributes the above commenter listed as making up the ideal sport would be the game of rugby league. Though rugby league doesn't come close to soccer in terms of the skill. To see Pirlo take the ball from his defence and hit a 65m pass right on the chest of his left striker as he did last night offers a spectacle no other sport can match.

As for those lamenting the standard of play, their argument is ridiculous. The highest standard in soccer is Champions League (club) football, not the World Cup. In fact I'd argue the European Championships (Euros) offer a higher standard of play than the World Cup.

However the World Cup not being the highest standard only, imho, adds to the tournament. 32 national teams seam to offer an exciting competition and whilst maintaining a decent level of completion and tactical variation. FIFA would be fools to tamper with the current set-up.

Blogger LibertyPortraits June 25, 2014 10:14 AM  

http://www.butfootballclub.fr/wp-content/uploads/Dawn-of-the-Suarez.jpg

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