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Thursday, November 27, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving

Unlike the Left, we of the Right don't despise our families and prefer the company of drunken strangers to them. But that doesn't meant there is never an amount of tension involved in a day of unusually close proximity with a group of people to whom we are related, but with whom we don't necessarily have all that much otherwise in common. So, it may be helpful to review last year's Holiday Survival guide:
If you are a man:
  • Remember that the women are putting in a lot of work and are feeling a lot of stress. This is not the time to remember things at the last minute or lament how things were done differently when you were a child. Avoid throwing curve balls.
  •  Don't tell her to relax. She's not going to do so anymore than you are during a hard-fought basketball game. Holiday-hosting can perhaps be best understood as a competitive sport for women, even if the only competitors are in her mind.
  •  Ask her if there is anything you can do twice per day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Simply having someone willing to run out to the store once or twice, if necessary, can save her considerable time and reduce tensions.
  •  Pour yourself a glass of wine as soon as it gets dark. Offer her one. She'll probably need it.
  •  Don't let her get away with snapping at you or anyone else. The objective is to be helpful and considerate, not a doormat.
If you are a woman:
  • Try to remember that it's a celebration, not a competition, and the world will not end if a particular dish is not served or something doesn't go exactly the way you planned it.
  • The only person who can ruin the holiday for yourself is you. In fact, the only person who is likely to ruin the holiday for everyone else is you. Don't be that woman.
  • If someone is taking pictures or video, just smile. Drawing additional attention to yourself by complaining and protesting looks far more ridiculous than any bedhead or lack of makeup does.
And don't miss the opportunity to be the hero. During the holiday season, I always reflect upon the wisdom of my grandfather, arguably the most awesome man who ever strode the planet. I once told him, as he was washing the dishes in the kitchen while everyone else was in the dining room listening to the women attempt to maximize their rare opportunity to talk in front of a captive male audience, that as the senior male member of the family, it wasn't his responsibility to clean up.

He looked at me, scotch in hand, then raised an eyebrow and indicated the football game that was on the television in the corner of the kitchen. "Responsibility?" the Lacedaemonian said.

Have a very happy and grateful Thanksgiving, everyone. We all have much for which to give thanks to the Almighty God, if only for giving us the strength to endure and surmount the challenges life presents us. And speaking of challenges, Spacebunny has followed up the main course with pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and chocolate fudge. Where to start? And more importantly, when to stop?

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91 Comments:

Anonymous Difster November 27, 2014 8:21 AM  

Many blessings on you, your family and your honored guests.

Anonymous N5 November 27, 2014 8:21 AM  

Amen and well said. Happy Thanksgiving to the Dread Ilk and our illustrious host.

Anonymous bloody barbarian November 27, 2014 8:24 AM  

Indeed. Happy and blessed Thanksgiving to you and yours, Vox -- and all the Ilk as well.

Blogger Northern Hamlet November 27, 2014 8:46 AM  

Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving, everyone.

Anonymous Papapete November 27, 2014 8:55 AM  

Always remember, the grill and smoker are man's territory.
Happy Thanksgiving to one and all.

Blogger Latigo3 November 27, 2014 9:03 AM  

A blessed Thanksgiving to Vox and all the Dread Ilk

Anonymous The Great Martini November 27, 2014 9:11 AM  

Happy sexist Thanksgiving. And to all ho ho ho, a Good Night. I guess I'm getting ahead of myself.

Blogger WarKicker November 27, 2014 9:11 AM  

"Have a very happy and grateful Thanksgiving, everyone."

This make me recall a Puritan prayer: "God, you've given me so many things. Give me one more thing---a grateful heart."

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family Vox, and the Dread Ilk!

Anonymous Scott N November 27, 2014 9:11 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving. May all of you have a blessed day.

OpenID simplytimothy November 27, 2014 9:12 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Blogger Nate November 27, 2014 9:18 AM  

She better have put bourbon in the pecan pie dammit.

Blogger Markku November 27, 2014 9:23 AM  

Every time you give thanks, an SJW hurts his butt.

Anonymous Johnny Rebb November 27, 2014 9:23 AM  

Well said Vox! Your holiday posts are always my most eagerly anticipated ones.

May the Lord bless your family and those of the ilk as well.

I'll raise a glass of scotch tonight in honor of all the great patriarchs we've known and to those of us who aspire to be so.

Blogger IM2L844 November 27, 2014 9:24 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I may exercise some discretionary leeway on the timing of pouring myself that glass of wine. "...as soon as it gets dark" is open to interpretation.

Anonymous Cryan Ryan November 27, 2014 9:26 AM  

HAPPY THANKSGIVING (all caps are in order here)

to Vox & family, and to ALL the ilk. I'm grateful for all of you, among many other blessings.

Blogger Iowahine November 27, 2014 9:28 AM  

Ever grateful for the Dread Ilk.

Anonymous Salt November 27, 2014 9:31 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving all. No pardoning of the turkey here.

Anonymous Susan November 27, 2014 9:38 AM  

A good rule to follow at these feasts is the potluck rule. Unless you know it is a dish that you really hate, take a small taste, or in the case of dessert, a sliver of everything. Because when she wants your opinion on how everything tastes, this is one time you can take her literally.

Your grandfather was indeed a smart man, and I bet his women folk adored him at times like this.

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein November 27, 2014 9:39 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to all the Ilk!

Must point out that their are some of us conservative/libertarian (semi-antisocial/'spergish/pro-Christian agnostics) who prefer the company of drunken strangers to non or very low alcohol family functions. Just staying home and watching football is better than either.

Traditional WKRP "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly..." clip

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein November 27, 2014 9:40 AM  

*there, not "their",
Dammit.

Anonymous Jemison Thorsby November 27, 2014 9:50 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to Vox and all the Ilk.

Blogger D. Lane November 27, 2014 9:51 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to the Ilk, Vox and his family, and all the SJW types who skim these comments. Safe travels and good feastings!

Blogger Robert What? November 27, 2014 9:52 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving, Vox. And thanks for the fantastic blogging. I hope you get as much enjoyment from writing it as we get from reading it.

Blogger Joshua_D November 27, 2014 9:57 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Vox, and to all of the Dead Ilk. May it be a blessed day for everyone.

Anonymous daddynichol November 27, 2014 10:00 AM  

Blessings and thanksgiving for all and to all Dread Ilk and even the trolls.

Blogger Pinakeli November 27, 2014 10:17 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

This is my first Thanksgiving with my new in-laws. My new wife is preparing the salads and potatoes right now. I'll go in and cook the turkey and breads when she is done (I'm the better cook right now).

Looking forward to the new experience!

Blogger Cinco November 27, 2014 10:18 AM  

Blessings to all! Have a great Thanksgiving.

Blogger Clint November 27, 2014 10:22 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Anonymous Steveo November 27, 2014 10:24 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to VD & family, & to all the Ilk & to everyone else too!

Anonymous Ben November 27, 2014 10:25 AM  

1. Pumpkin pie

2. Now. With age comes pain from too much food. I enjoy watching my 13 year old calorie vortex go through the feast.

Blogger Sioux November 27, 2014 10:25 AM  

That is the best list I have ever read for Thanksgiving behavior and attitude - thanks, Vox! I am grateful for your blog, so add that to the things to be grateful about - I shall go forth with renewed cooking spirit!

This year I asked if there was anything that my little family doesn't really want to eat for Thanksgiving. No Stuffing was the response, so no stuffing will be made. My competition with myself to make everything under the sun ends this year. I am grateful that I still have my mom with me - 94 years old.

All the best to everyone - Sioux

Anonymous Northern Troll Alliance November 27, 2014 10:29 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Anonymous EG November 27, 2014 10:33 AM  

A blessed Thanksgiving to Vox, Ilk, Trolldom, Inc., &c from lurkers like myself. May we all (re)discover the importance of family and fellowship today!

Anonymous The other skeptic November 27, 2014 10:40 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving.

Meanwhile, this is how pathetic the Black Panthers have become:

The Panthers wanted to purchase more bombs but were waiting for their girlfriend’s EBT card was replenished!

Blogger RC November 27, 2014 10:41 AM  

Among many other things, I'm thankful for this bastion of sanity in an unhinged world. Ten years ago I thought I was all but alone with my thoughts and ideas, shared only with long-dead men who'd thankfully written much. Now I know I'm far from alone among the living and have learned more than a little from Vox and his Dread Ilk, even a bit from the antagonists. May God keep and protect His remnant always. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Anonymous Big Gay Steve November 27, 2014 10:42 AM  

As probably your only gay non-troll reader I would like to say I am thankful that most gays are so shallow that if Hitler had a big enough Willie there would be gay Jews defending him. Otherwise I would have to move back to San Antonio where as long as you have a decent job you can have an 18yo Hispanic boyfriend. Also thank you for having the only place on the internet that would not delete a message like this.

Anonymous Homesteader November 27, 2014 10:44 AM  

For anow undeserved reprieve from death,
For beautiful children,
for a loving wife,
For our fruitful homestead,
for the blessings of health,
for friendship and honor,
for this Heritage we honor today,
thank you God.

Anonymous Homesteader November 27, 2014 10:45 AM  

-an-

Blogger Michael Maier November 27, 2014 10:48 AM  

I am thankful for this:

WarKicker November 27, 2014 9:11 AM

"Have a very happy and grateful Thanksgiving, everyone."

This make me recall a Puritan prayer: "God, you've given me so many things. Give me one more thing---a grateful heart."


Quite beautiful. Many thanks.

Blessings be on the Ilk and their families.

(As for that WashPo link... SMH...)

Anonymous jay c November 27, 2014 10:52 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving, all.
Thank God for what you have.

Anonymous Alexander November 27, 2014 10:55 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to the Ilk and theirs.

Anonymous Darth Toolpodicus November 27, 2014 10:57 AM  

Well said! Happy Thanksgiving all!

Blogger Rabbi B November 27, 2014 11:08 AM  

Praise be to you, Lord,
the God of our father Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power
and the glory and the majesty and the splendor,
for everything in heaven and earth is yours.
Yours, Lord, is the kingdom;
you are exalted as head over all.
Wealth and honor come from you;
you are the ruler of all things.
In your hands are strength and power
to exalt and give strength to all.
Now, our God, we give you thanks,
and praise your glorious name.

But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.

We are foreigners and strangers in your sight, as were all our ancestors. Our days on earth are like a shadow, without hope. Lord our God, all this abundance that we have provided . . . comes from your hand, and all of it belongs to you.

I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things I have given willingly and with honest intent. And now I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you.

Lord, the God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac and Israel, keep these desires and thoughts in the hearts of your people forever, and keep their hearts loyal to you. -I Chronicles

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Blogger V November 27, 2014 11:08 AM  

That's some damned good advice.

Blogger Viisaus November 27, 2014 11:13 AM  

And here is an atheistic counterpoint, that well conveys the view of the fallen man:

"Gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs."

- Josef Stalin

Anonymous Lulabelle November 27, 2014 11:20 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to the Dread Ilk!

Anonymous Wyrd November 27, 2014 11:41 AM  

We are foreigners and strangers in your sight, as were all our ancestors. Our days on earth are like a shadow, without hope. Lord our God, all this abundance that we have provided . . . comes from your hand, and all of it belongs to you.

May God bless you and your family, Rabbi B.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Blogger Rantor November 27, 2014 11:42 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving to Dread Ilk everywhere. God has blessed us richly. Mrs Rantor had successful surgery yesterday, doing fine and getting ready to leave hospital with Thanksgining Parade on TV...

No cooking at home, but joining the neighbors tonight for dinner... If the misses is up to it.

Anonymous Aeoli Pera November 27, 2014 11:43 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving, and thanks again for the rules.

Anonymous NorthernHamlet November 27, 2014 11:43 AM  

VD,

Girls love gaming at the Macy Day Parade. Big show of it. You'll laugh.

or not.

Anonymous NorthernHamlet November 27, 2014 11:49 AM  

Follow up: Spirit of American Dance company, I believe. Bright shirts with "I love gaming" and tetris music.

Anonymous Viidad November 27, 2014 11:50 AM  

Our Key lime tree produced enough limes for pie... there are literally piles of homegrown pumpkins and sweet potatoes... my little sister and my parents are coming into town... my children are healthy... my wife is thin and hot...

I am very thankful. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I raise a glass to VD and the Dread Ilk.

Anonymous Eowyn November 27, 2014 11:59 AM  

I need to make a cross-stitch of these guidelines.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Anonymous Wyrd November 27, 2014 11:59 AM  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO2HaGOui4U

Here's R. Reagan's Thanksgiving message from '85 that's circulating around these days. Makes me feel a bit homesick.

Anonymous Toby Temple November 27, 2014 12:07 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Anonymous Curlytop November 27, 2014 12:15 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to Vox, family and the rest of the Dread Ilk. So grateful for the guidance I receive from this forum. It has enriched my family more than you know. Much Love.

PS:
It isn't Pecan Pie if there's no bourbon in it. ;-)

Anonymous Dr. J November 27, 2014 12:27 PM  

Can't believe how long I've been reading this site - must be nearly 14 years. Happy Thanksgiving and God bless to Vox and all the ilk.

Blogger Nate November 27, 2014 12:34 PM  

"It isn't Pecan Pie if there's no bourbon in it."

preach.

Blogger Josh November 27, 2014 12:34 PM  

Happy thanksgiving to vox, the dread ilk, and your families.

Our God is always faithful and always good.

Blogger Steven M. Wells November 27, 2014 1:16 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

I do give thanks for Vox. I do not always agree with him (I'm on team Calvin), but Vox always makes me think. That, unfortunately, is a rarity in today's world.

I am cooking this Thanksgiving so not all of this applies, but I will keep his advice in mind for a peaceful household.

Anonymous Beau November 27, 2014 1:37 PM  

Heavenly Father,

We remember our loved ones, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ who are imprisoned on this day. Bless them with your presence so they may know they are not alone. Deliver them from all evil. Invade their sorrow with joy. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all.

Blogger ajw308 November 27, 2014 1:38 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to Vox, all the Ilk and everyone who reads & contributes here.

Blogger J Curtis November 27, 2014 1:58 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to all

Blogger Galt-in-Da-Box November 27, 2014 2:46 PM  

That was Freaking AWESOME!!!
Spreading the Word!

Anonymous HardReturn November 27, 2014 3:14 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to Vox, Ilk, and all.

"…practice happens to be the only way to go about appreciating. You just make up your mind, you haul off, and you start appreciating. You make a conscious and a continuous effort. But it is worth the effort. Appreciation is what makes people worth cultivating, places worth visiting, events worth happening, and life worth living. He who cannot or will not appreciate condemns himself to a life of misery and unhappiness. But whoever begins and continues to become aware, to become interested, to find worth, to appreciate, finds a life that grows, and goes, and glows. All you have to do is appreciate!" --my dad, 1968

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” --G. K. Chesterton

Anonymous tiarosa November 27, 2014 3:29 PM  

Thank you Vox. Also thank you Rabbi B for the I Chronicles passage. I needed to reread it.

Anonymous WaterBoy November 27, 2014 3:45 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

And a Lions win to top it off.

Anonymous Jack Amok November 27, 2014 3:50 PM  

Great story about your grandfather. A good reminder we've got examples to follow. Just a matter of picking the right ones. Happy Thanksgiving dear ilk.

Blogger LP 999/Eliza November 27, 2014 3:54 PM  

Amen and Happy Thanksgiving,

Let us keep wonderment and light fresh to our souls! May those challenges prove to be opportunities for improvement.

Beau: "Heavenly Father,

We remember our loved ones, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ who are imprisoned on this day. Bless them with your presence so they may know they are not alone. Deliver them from all evil. Invade their sorrow with joy. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen."

Thank you Lord for all the days when we were not aware of your protection, providence and love, let us be more aware, more reflective that. I lift up to you my apt building, the shut ins, those confined to bed in hospitals/nursing homes, keep me healthy, help me love you more, make my way to follow you and the stressed cooks to relax, realizing we are just happy to spend the day together/ No perfection required! amen.

Blogger grendel November 27, 2014 5:04 PM  

"All glory laud and honor to you redeemer King." Happy Thanksgiving! Onward Christian soldiers!

Blogger grendel November 27, 2014 5:04 PM  

"All glory laud and honor to you redeemer King." Happy Thanksgiving! Onward Christian soldiers!

Anonymous Carlotta November 27, 2014 5:12 PM  

May you all have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. Praise to the Lord who has given me great beauty for ashes. May He uphold those who are in the ashes stages. Beauty will come. Hold on to Him.

The only way to handle a dessert spread like that is one of each :)
Great holiday advice.

Anonymous Claymore November 27, 2014 5:25 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving! May truth, mercy, and knowledge of God abound today.

Anonymous Claymore November 27, 2014 5:51 PM  

Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.”

― Robert Burns

Blogger szook November 27, 2014 5:56 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving all. In our house it was pumpkin cheese cake this year.

Anonymous Blessings November 27, 2014 5:57 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Blogger Franz Lionheart November 27, 2014 6:02 PM  

What a brilliant post, and brilliant thread to follow.

In a Butthead voice : you know, huhuh, sometimes, there's so much cool stuff happening, all at the same time, you can't follow it all. Beavis reply : yeah, I know, hehe, you know, when, like, there's like so much cool stuff happening, and like, you can't follow it all, like yeah yeah. Butthead : Huhu. Dumbass.

Blogger Franz Lionheart November 27, 2014 6:04 PM  

Uh. Happy Thanksgiving. I guess. It's an American thing. So all my American friends : Happy Thanksgiving!

Blogger Mekadave November 27, 2014 6:25 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Anonymous cheddarman November 27, 2014 6:47 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving all, and may the blessing of Almighty God be yours in abundance.

sincerely

cheddarman

Anonymous Passinthough November 27, 2014 8:06 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. May the good Lord bless and keep you.

Blogger JDC November 27, 2014 8:14 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to the ilk. You make the world tolerable.

Anonymous Voice of Knight November 27, 2014 8:31 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. May you all eat and drink today like the first world kings and queens that you are.

Anonymous Outlier November 27, 2014 8:45 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Anonymous Don November 27, 2014 9:31 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving all. And thank the Lord for our bounty and friends.

Good food, family and friends and alcohol, tobacco, and firearms a great holiday.

Anonymous tiredofitall November 27, 2014 9:52 PM  

"Spacebunny has followed up the main course with pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and chocolate fudge. Where to start? And more importantly, when to stop?" - VD

I'd go in the order you've written them, lightest to heaviest dessert.

And you don't stop until you're in a diabetic coma, or realize that you're scraping the pattern off the dish trying to get at that one last bit of yummy goodness.

Blogger MidKnight November 27, 2014 10:43 PM  

Guys, it's great to have a place like this. Thank you all, and have a great holiday.

Anonymous Toothy November 27, 2014 11:34 PM  

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Vox. And likewise to the Ilk and Ilkish.

God bless.

Anonymous JRL November 28, 2014 1:39 AM  

Happy Thankgiving to the ilk, one and all...since our esteemed host has brought up desert, this family topped off an outstanding meal with outstanding peach pie from home grown peaches and the best pecan tarts in the known universe.

Anonymous Morris November 28, 2014 2:15 AM  

Happy Thanksgiving Vox, Spacebunny and family, and to all the Ilk.

Thanks also for the education ( or should that be reeducation :P ) I've gained from lurking over the years.

Blogger The CronoLink November 29, 2014 5:03 PM  

Sorry for being late, Happy Thanksgiving to the Day family and the Dread Ilk

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