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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

They also serve

It was suggested that they also serve, who inadvertently and unknowingly do the bidding of the Evil Legion of Evil through their ludicrously predictable reactions. And lo, a badge for this brigade of Unwitting Minions was created. Evil Legion of Evil minions are free to award it to those whose behavior is so egregiously stupid or shortsighted or self-destructive that they could not possibly serve your Supreme Dark Lord better if they were consciously doing His Evil Bidding.

Given that they are, without exception, unique and special snowflakes, they naturally all bear the title "Minion #1".


On a not entirely unrelated note, RI explains why he is now reading this blog and Larry Correia's books:
I've been a spectator to this conflict for several months now. To be honest, I didn't even know who any of the participants were when I first started following. Now, because of the outcry against you, Mr. Correia, and Mr. Torgersen I have become a daily reader of your blog and am rapidly burning through Mr. Corriea's books. I'd like to think I stand somewhere in the between you and Corriea. I've noticed you've been calling attention to some of the unethical book reviewing practices of the SJWs and I found one I thought you would like to point out on your blog.

This person openly admits to downgrading her review after finding out about Correia's politics.

If I am any evidence of a growing trend, then the SJWs are basically screaming themselves into irrelevance. I am glad you have decided to wade into this and stand up for your beliefs and stand against the terrorism of the left. God bless you, sir.
This is the perspective that is so often ignored. What people are assumed to perceive, and what they will actually perceive, are often two different things. Larry once said that the benefit of telling the truth is that you have no need to worry about keeping your stories straight, and another one is that people tend to recognize those who tell the truth, whether they accept the truth on that particular subject or not.

Labels: ,

126 Comments:

Anonymous fish April 29, 2015 12:05 PM  

T-Shirts.....we want T-Shirts!

Blogger Jack Aubrey April 29, 2015 12:19 PM  

This is going to go viral.

Anonymous NateM April 29, 2015 12:26 PM  

They also serve on Latin would be a nice touch on the badge. Speaking of which, I didn't receive a response to my minion request. Large queue?

Blogger CSAFarmer April 29, 2015 12:33 PM  

Have to register an objection, whilst each snowflake is indeed special, and indubitably unique, they are also in fact all WHITE. So henceforth the term 'special unique snowflake' shall be known as Special Unique Non-Discriminatory, Gender-Neutral Flake of Colour.

It just rolls of the tongue, don't it?

Anonymous Daniel April 29, 2015 12:35 PM  

I'll allow them to pin it to their jacket until they are able to sew the six points of the snowflake down on their jacket. I will also allow them to keep their jacket until which time the less fortunate are in need of it.

Blogger Ximo Bravo April 29, 2015 12:36 PM  

Perhaps that should be called "Unwitting Fifth Column". I like the acronym: UFC

Blogger slarrow April 29, 2015 12:36 PM  

The "Unwitting Minions Brigade" label isn't centered properly. You did that just to tick bob k. mando off, didn't you?

Blogger jay c April 29, 2015 12:36 PM  

Saved the image will award as necessary.

Anonymous # 34 April 29, 2015 12:38 PM  

We have a better slogan, but I don't really care.

Blogger Henry Smith April 29, 2015 12:39 PM  

Oh boy!

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=%22animal+house%22+%22this+is+so+great!%22&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=2D7A1AC188EA2880134E2D7A1AC188EA2880134E

Blogger Henry Smith April 29, 2015 12:40 PM  

Yeah, where's MY Evil League of Evil number? I sent my minionmail! I wanna be a member of the Evil League of Evil!

Anonymous Alexander April 29, 2015 12:41 PM  

The Unwitting Fifth Column are those people who would be minions... but you know, the tone. And they don't agree with everything Vox says, so...

Anonymous Stilicho April 29, 2015 12:44 PM  

Given my role in recognizing the contributions of the SJW unwitting minion brigade, I would suggest pinning it to the back of deserving awardee in the same fashion that you used to put "kick me" signs on these same people. They're used to it after all, and will be comfortable with the process.

Anonymous dh April 29, 2015 12:45 PM  

en the SJWs are basically screaming themselves into irrelevance.

Yup. They have come very close to reducing the effectiveness of racist. At the current pace, it will be a full fledged badge of honor within 5 years.

Anonymous # 34 April 29, 2015 12:45 PM  

The first virtue of being a nameless vile minion is patience.

Anonymous noname47 April 29, 2015 12:45 PM  

I believe the non-ELOE readers fall into 2 groups:

1. Quislings - they come here, maybe attempt to ingratiate themselves, but their end goal is to find stuff that they can be outraged at and share back to their warren-kin

2. People who used to consider themselves as Moderates but have slowly been leaning towards being supportive of anything non-SJW.

I've been a regular reader since 2013. Prior to that I occasionally visited this site, mostly out of curiosity because Vox was attributed to have 'extreme views' and partly because I was a fan of Scalzi (I wanted to see what the fuss was about).

I believe there are a lot more who are undecided, mainly due to some socially-entrenched mechanism that makes certain people attempt to read between the lines and make inferences or take in good faith 'politically correct' determinations WITHOUT applying critical analysis of what Vox has written or said.

The worst enemies SJWs have are themselves. The tactics involving various forms of emotional terrorism have slowly won over undecided readers, or at least have caused the moderates to take another look and read or listen carefully because the SJWs have been more demonstrably repugnant in their incivility.


Blogger Daniel April 29, 2015 12:47 PM  

UMB works, as in "UMB...Umb...umb...as an intelligent genius, I read yor twitter dribble and now I no I'm a genius because I poop my pants all by myself now...umb. UMB... UMB."

Blogger Henry Smith April 29, 2015 12:50 PM  

Shouldn't there be some more formal methodology to award Unwitting Minion badges? Such as submitting them to a vote here, or letting the Evil Overlord of the Evil League of Evil make the decision and award a number?

I have a nomination! This from "Gav" on 4-21-15, on Eric Flint's blog (he's complaining about the quoted words of Vox Day):

"You have to be not only racist but also stupid to believe that 'every population sub-group is either superior or inferior to another sub-group on the basis of any chosen metric'."

Blogger jay c April 29, 2015 12:52 PM  

ELOE... I keep reading that as Eloi, which is a little jarring in this context.

Blogger Vox April 29, 2015 12:52 PM  

Speaking of which, I didn't receive a response to my minion request. Large queue?

I just received 300 more badges. Malwyn will start working through them tonight. She is NOT happy.

Anonymous Stilicho April 29, 2015 12:54 PM  

Shouldn't there be some more formal methodology to award Unwitting Minion badges?

No. I am Vile Faceless Minion and so can you.

Blogger J Van Stry April 29, 2015 12:56 PM  

This is pretty much why I read your blog, though I was originally brought here by someone who linked to your stuff when talking about how to survive a witch hunt (your advice is spot on, I have survived witch hunts myself).
And so now I read you, Larry, Brad, John, Michael and many of the rest.
I'm also reading your books as well, (when I'm not busy writing), and while I might not agree with all of what you folks say, I'd rather sit down with you folks for a few drinks, than any of those I've seen on the other side of this debate.

Because you're the folks that will 'agree to disagree', rather than rabidly foam at the mouth an try to destroy my life and my career. The later of which I really don't want to deal with.

Blogger Rabbi B April 29, 2015 12:58 PM  

"Because you're the folks that will 'agree to disagree' . . .

Never.

Blogger J Van Stry April 29, 2015 12:59 PM  

Oh, can we get a 'witting minions brigade' patch? For those of us not really qualified to be 'evil league of evil' members, but who think this is all great fun and truly love the way you are hoisting these folks on their own petard.

Blogger Shimshon April 29, 2015 1:06 PM  

"She is NOT happy."

Dare I ask what makes her happy?

Anonymous Hong Hu Shi April 29, 2015 1:07 PM  

Oh, can we get a 'witting minions brigade' patch?

Either minion or get off the pot!

Blogger Henry Smith April 29, 2015 1:08 PM  

Hmmm! THREE proposed ELoE membership levels. I like it! Full-fledged ELoE minions, Witting Supporters of the ELoE, and Unwitting Supporters of the ELoE.

Damn. This is so much fun "sticking to the man..." I MEAN "sticking it to the SJW's".

Blogger Vox April 29, 2015 1:09 PM  

Oh, can we get a 'witting minions brigade' patch? For those of us not really qualified to be 'evil league of evil' members, but who think this is all great fun and truly love the way you are hoisting these folks on their own petard.

That would be the numbered minions patch. The non-minions are the likes of the International Lord of Hate and The King in Yellow.

Blogger bob k. mando April 29, 2015 1:13 PM  

slarrow April 29, 2015 12:36 PM
The "Unwitting Minions Brigade" label isn't centered properly. You did that just to tick bob k. mando off, didn't you?



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_Lnz64vXB8

Anonymous Earl April 29, 2015 1:15 PM  

Plus, if you sit down for a few drinks with us, it will be something good, like a single malt scotch, not kombucha.

Although I have a feeling Viidad drinks kombucha although he probably makes it himself.

Blogger Salt April 29, 2015 1:15 PM  

"She is NOT happy."

Dare I ask what makes her happy?


Such concern trolling for a minion. Why do you care?

Blogger Student in Blue April 29, 2015 1:21 PM  

Such concern trolling for a minion. Why do you care?

I believe he knows full well what makes her happy, and was just positioning himself to volunteer as tribute.

Blogger Shimshon April 29, 2015 1:21 PM  

Salt, touche. We don't care.

Anonymous Erevis Cale April 29, 2015 1:22 PM  

You guys have almost zero influence.

FYI, that Star Wars book you mocked a few months?

MAJOR HIT.

And Moff Mors is turning into a fan favorite:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MKZ3VUY/

(see all those 5-star reviews... )

Star Wars fans have embraced LGBT in a major shared universe.


Vox Dayand homophobes = 0

Paul S. Kemp = 1 more among many

Blogger Shimshon April 29, 2015 1:26 PM  

Erevis Cale, the point is, we don't care. Why do care? Go read/play/etc. the stuff you want and leave us alone.

Anonymous WinstonWebb April 29, 2015 1:28 PM  

Star Wars fans have embraced LGBT in a major shared universe.

This is nothing new. They always have. C3PO has been a fan favorite since '77.

Anonymous Stilicho April 29, 2015 1:30 PM  

(see all those 5-star reviews... )

all...FOUR of them? Stupendipitous!

Anonymous Earl April 29, 2015 1:30 PM  

Star Wars is gay bro

Blogger bob k. mando April 29, 2015 1:33 PM  

a major hit has ... four 5 star reviews?

ohhhhh-kay.

i also love how you all 'loved' Moff Mors ... BEFORE THE BOOK EVER CAME OUT.

http://bigshinyrobot.com/58601/star-wars-introduces-lgbt-character-canon/

because it's the 'quality' of the writing that's important.

*snort*

Blogger Giraffe April 29, 2015 1:41 PM  

I just received 300 more badges. Malwyn will start working through them tonight. She is NOT happy

Put the whip to her.

Imagine the impact of several hundred ELOE minions descending on some poor fool on twitter. I suspect you had that in mind.

Anonymous Strange Aeons April 29, 2015 1:41 PM  

Erevis -
LGBTXYZPDQ propaganda shoehorned into sci fi is the snowspeeder tow cable that brings the SW saga to it knees before it crashes and burns. Do you suppose the AT-AT pilots were singing "I'm walking on snowflakes, whoah-oh, I'm walking on snowflakes, whoah-oh, and don't it feel GOOD!"?

Trick question, nobody cares
- minion #0017

Blogger Moor April 29, 2015 1:46 PM  

That whole "I'm going to walk away from this discussion" thing, which is then followed by a final statement, just bugs me.

If you're going to walk away, then walk away.

If you're going to engage, then engage.

It's almost like the stuff Vox says about SJWs is true...

Blogger pdwalker April 29, 2015 1:49 PM  

Vox,

You're having too much fun with this.

Blogger John Wright April 29, 2015 1:51 PM  

Hey! I officially changed my title from 'The King in Yellow' to 'The Grand Inquisitor' once I realized the Morlocks immediately wet their diapers upon confronting an unrepentant and unapologetic apologist for Papacy smarter and better educated than they are -- Christ scares the hell out of them. And they don't even believe in Him.

Anonymous Viidad April 29, 2015 1:53 PM  

Earl: "I have a feeling Viidad drinks kombucha although he probably makes it himself."

Heh. Actually, my wife makes it.

I think she lets it sit too long, though. Last time I had a glass I got way buzzed. Or maybe she's slipping roofies in it.

"daaaaaayum.... where all dese baby kids comin from?"

Anonymous GracieLou April 29, 2015 1:58 PM  

The comments at that link--Ha! A "Logan" suggests in the politest possible way that Carol's review is unethical. A debate ensues wherein Logan remains polite and rock hard rational which leads to a melt-down from Carol. "Mrs. Joseph" cries rape. Trudi, too stupid to realize Logan has won the arguments says, "Sing it sister!"

A) Said it once, will say it again: "tomboys" are weak women. Using the "F" word does not change that.

B) Anytime SJW's are losing an argument their backs will spontaneously combust, their shoulders will pop out of socket, their chronic fatigue and mental health disorders will crush them, they will be overcome with busy, they will cry "Wolf, bully, woe is me!" and run off blubbering like a pansy.

Just for fun, here's the melt-down (which is much funnier in context because up to this point she was all business--but that Logan(!) with his Logic(!):

"Srsly, on another day, I might care. But my back is killing me from lifting patients weighing over 300lb last weekend, I have a powerpoint presentation to finish by Sunday that's a major part of my grade, I'm supposed to sit all day in a class tomorrow, and my nursing unit is merging with another on Monday, so everyone has been either pissed or depressed for weeks. Oh yea, and I take care of people who are living with cancer when I'm not taking care of people detoxing from alcohol withdrawal.

You know what I'm saying? I love reading and will review and rate any fucking way I want, because it's not my job. Its what I do for fun, except when an author makes it not fun. And people who want to argue with what a fucking social booksite run by a corporate profit-seeking conglomerate is used for. "

Anonymous Erevis Cale April 29, 2015 2:00 PM  

Mr. Wright -- you should be ashamed. You will never be a Paul S. Kemp, who is a class act. If Jesus was real, he would love gay people not hate them like you and your evil church. You and Jerry Falwell would make good fascist party members.

Strange Aeons -- there is a very good chance Moff Mors will be a character in the new movies. Then you will eat your words.

Blogger David April 29, 2015 2:01 PM  

Politics-colored reviews are just another brick in the rapidly Balkanizing social milieu.

I predict that some smart person with more energy than I have will start some sort of trademarked club, where to obtain membership you have to commit to leaving reviews devoid of political content, and can be booted by moderators for doing so. Then, if someone just wants to read a good book and is open to new authors, that's the tag you'd look for on a reviewer's credentials, wherever their reviews appear.

Of course, the other, more separate is better than equal way would be for the Left, the Right (both of them collectivists) and Libertarians to explicitly label their reviews. It seems to me that this is actually where we might be headed. We already have Christian bookstores and Laissez Faire Books.

Anonymous Stilicho April 29, 2015 2:01 PM  

And they don't even believe in Him.

Oh, but how they hate Him.

Blogger Rabbi B April 29, 2015 2:06 PM  

"Mr. Wright -- you should be ashamed. You will never be a Paul S. Kemp, who is a class act. If Jesus was real, he would love gay people not hate them like you and your evil church. You and Jerry Falwell would make good fascist party members. Strange Aeons -- there is a very good chance Moff Mors will be a character in the new movies. Then you will eat your words."

Play Time, Ilk . . .

Blogger Rabbi B April 29, 2015 2:07 PM  

"If Jesus was real, he would love gay people not hate them like you and your evil church."

And you know this becaaaauuussse?

Anonymous Pope Cleophus I April 29, 2015 2:07 PM  

@John Wright

Hey! I officially changed my title from 'The King in Yellow' to 'The Grand Inquisitor' once I realized the Morlocks immediately wet their diapers upon confronting an unrepentant and unapologetic apologist for Papacy smarter and better educated than they are -- Christ scares the hell out of them. And they don't even believe in Him.


Jesus is coming. Everybody look busy.

Anonymous Earl April 29, 2015 2:08 PM  

Viidad- My wife made it too, although there is a bottle of scotch in my cabinet as well. Oh, the secrets we keep.

Anonymous jack April 29, 2015 2:10 PM  

Followed the link and read through all that mess. Way to hang in there Logan! I doubt this person will see any light from your reasoned disagreement with her rating a book by writer politics, how he treats his dog, wipes his butt, etc. All you can do is try. And, I agree she should remove all those 'revamped' star ratings.

Viidad: What is a roofie? Never heard of such...

Blogger skiballa April 29, 2015 2:10 PM  

"Jesus is coming. Everybody look busy."

Maranatha

Blogger Rabbi B April 29, 2015 2:12 PM  

Bo Mashiach!

Blogger Marissa April 29, 2015 2:13 PM  

there is a very good chance Moff Mors will be a character in the new movies. Then you will eat your words.

Like Jar Jar Binks?

Blogger LP 999/Eliza April 29, 2015 2:14 PM  

Per the link, another person who does not want to debate, we've seen that before.

Blogger Giraffe April 29, 2015 2:15 PM  

Frau Scheisskopf makes an appearance.

“What the hell are you getting so upset about?” he asked her bewilderedly in a tone of contrite amusement. “I thought you didn’t believe in God.”

“I don’t,” she sobbed, bursting violently into tears. “But the God I don’t believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He’s not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be.”

Blogger Student in Blue April 29, 2015 2:15 PM  

Play Time, Ilk . . .

Why even bother? "Homophobic! Fascist!"

It's just mindless mudslinging. Why throw pearls before swine?

Anonymous Strange Aeons April 29, 2015 2:15 PM  

Ok Erevis. Coming soon: Battle for Endor 2
Watch as Moff Mors, Jar Jar Binks, C3PO and Ahsoka Tano struggle for Space Marriage Ewokuality against the evil Republican stormtro-... you know what, I can't even be bothered to finish this dumb joke.

#0017

Blogger LP 999/Eliza April 29, 2015 2:20 PM  

Right, she didn't want to debate but did and didn't want to yet did with Logan but then had to run off.

Most importantly; Rock on Larry!

Anonymous Menelaus April 29, 2015 2:21 PM  

Who is this Muff Mons you keep talking about, Willis?

Blogger LP 999/Eliza April 29, 2015 2:23 PM  

Well, consdering our host was viciously insulted but innocent, a little pearls before swine might help.

Really, breaking the programming of SJW/anti-adorable puppies isn't going to happen. All anyone could do is pray for this problematic situation that I 2nd will go viral.

Anonymous Porky April 29, 2015 2:24 PM  

Watch as Moff Mors, Jar Jar Binks, C3PO and Ahsoka Tano struggle for Space Marriage Ewokuality against the evil Republican...

...Chrischristie the Hut.

Finished it for ya.

Blogger Feather Blade April 29, 2015 2:25 PM  

If Jesus was real, he would love gay people not hate them like you and your evil church.

a) If He is not real, what do you care what He would do?

b) He does love them, just as he loves all of us other wretched sinners on this earth.
That is why he told the sinners he encountered to "Go and sin no more".
That is why He died and was raised from the dead, so that we don't have to be slaves to our own wretchedness, if only we believe that He is Who He says He is, and did what He says He did.

Anonymous Alexander April 29, 2015 2:26 PM  

Yeah, I can't summon the energy to bother with the little cretin. We've all heard the "I hate the God I don't believe exists" too many times to get worked up about it.

In other news, GRRM laments the fact that Tor does not dominate the lists this year. Oh, it's nice to have new faces... but not at the expense of the old! We've already dealt with that four letter acronym. T-A-R-P.

Blogger Daniel April 29, 2015 2:27 PM  

Hey! I officially changed my title from 'The King in Yellow' to 'The Grand Inquisitor' once I realized...

Wait a minute. Does that mean there's an opening?

See, I got this crown from a Burger King dumpster and took a blanket off a homeless SJW for a robe...

Blogger Rabbi B April 29, 2015 2:47 PM  

"If He is not real . . ."

I don't think this is even an honest or intelligent objection. Only a blithering idiot would deny that he was real and at the very least a historical figure.

What people hate is not so much that He is real, but that the work he came to do (and did do) is indeed real. The world's real beef is with Who He is and what He did.

Who do you say that I am? The question that continues to confront and haunt every man.

Anonymous Harsh April 29, 2015 2:48 PM  

You guys have almost zero influence.

(laughs) You felt compelled to post here because you know the opposite to be true. Vox has more influence that you care to admit.

FYI, that Star Wars book you mocked a few months?

MAJOR HIT.

And Moff Mors is turning into a fan favorite:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MKZ3VUY/

(see all those 5-star reviews... )


Not too surprising. What constitutes a hit these days, about 10-20,000 books sold? I'm not impressed.

Star Wars fans have embraced LGBT in a major shared universe.

Yes, and the current film seems to promise an action grrl and interracial romance. We'll see if the quality of storytelling suffers because of it.

Vox Dayand homophobes = 0

Paul S. Kemp = 1 more among many


Pulling a Futrelle on us, are you?

Now go away, young simpleton.

Anonymous Alexander April 29, 2015 2:57 PM  

Oh, oh! I know what comes next.

*ahem*

What do you know. I bet you're not even a real Rabbi. You're not MY Rabbi. It's very presumptuous of you to use that handle.

Blogger Danby April 29, 2015 2:58 PM  

Here's my amateurish Latin:
Etiam serviunt quis argutaen laminae et clamabunt

Anonymous Culture War Draftee April 29, 2015 3:03 PM  

there is a very good chance Moff Mors will be a character in the new movies. Then you will eat your words.

Like Jar Jar Binks?

Star Wars, eh? I have to ask myself if I care. I guess not.

Blogger Rabbi B April 29, 2015 3:05 PM  

"It's very presumptuous of you to use that handle."

That's right . . . especially since everyone knows that it is because I am the only one around here who has a monopoly on the truth.



Anonymous Alexander April 29, 2015 3:07 PM  

Trolololol. Muff More, the lesbian. A black knight lurks within the script.

Blogger Krul April 29, 2015 3:07 PM  

The new Star Wars film...

From the trailers I've seen, the only good thing I can discern about it is the visual style. It actually looks like the original trilogy, unlike the prequels in which everything looked shiny and fake.

Other than that, there are some pretty bad signs. The old actors from the first trilogy are unnecessary; I expect their scenes to be very awkward. Also the main characters appear to be a teenage girl and "We-Ain't-Found-Shit". Now they might be good, there's no way to know at present, but the decision itself reeks of Social Justice - of casting based on sex and skin color instead of story - which is a bad sign for movie quality.

I'm going to see it just to enjoy the classic Star Wars look in theaters again, but I'm not expecting anything that good on a storytelling level. I'm thinking the new film will be a good looking, passably entertaining, but poorly told and incoherent story. Same as the Star Trek reboot films, basically.

Anonymous Steve April 29, 2015 3:07 PM  

there is a very good chance Moff Mors will be a character in the new movies. Then you will eat your words.

6/10 - Would Bang.

Blogger Danby April 29, 2015 3:08 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous Varenius April 29, 2015 3:09 PM  

Oooooh! Oooooh! I nominate Mary Robinette Kowal for her SJW vote-buying scheme:

Are Social Justice Warriors Trying To Rig The Hugo Awards?

Blogger Danby April 29, 2015 3:11 PM  

@J VanStry
Oh, can we get a 'witting minions brigade' patch? For those of us not really qualified to be 'evil league of evil' members, but who think this is all great fun and truly love the way you are hoisting these folks on their own petard.

The only qualification is a willingness to draw fire, and displaying the patch covers that. If you feel unworthy to be noticed by our Dark Lord, even to the point of being counted, you can use the #4096 patch. That way you can be a Vile, Faceless, and Numberless Minion.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan April 29, 2015 3:14 PM  

Can we lay traps for UMs? Such as commenting on Sailer's article on African fecundity is a threat to global stability

Anonymous Geoff April 29, 2015 3:18 PM  

"Puppies on-demand" is trending on Twitter, lol.

Anonymous Steve April 29, 2015 3:18 PM  

Krul - It actually looks like the original trilogy, unlike the prequels in which everything looked shiny and fake.

God, yes. The prequels look like a tech demo for a new Nvidia card.

The old actors from the first trilogy are unnecessary

Have they learned nothing from the final episode of Star Trek: Enterprise? Or Leonard Nimoy's inexplicable cameo in Star Trek: Into Darkness? Bringing back the old cast is a surefire recipe for depression. Nobody wants to see a geriatric Han Solo zimmering up the ramp of the Millennium Falcon. Nobody asked for a post-menopausal Princess Leia sagging out of a gold bikini.

And Mark Hamill was already starting to look like old cheese that had been in the fridge for too long by , for crying out loud. It would appear he did a lot of partying between 1977 and 1980, and now looks terrifying.

Anonymous Varenius April 29, 2015 3:19 PM  

Thanks to the picture provided by Steve, we now have an answer:

Muff Mons' popularity is obviously due to her constant forgetfulness about closing her jacket.

Blogger Krul April 29, 2015 3:20 PM  

You know what they should have done? Made the next Star Wars about Kyle Katarn.

I used to love "Star Wars Dark Jedi Knight Dark Forces II" and its sequels when I was a kid. Played 'em for hours and hours. Those games had a great story full of fun and interesting characters that takes place after Return of the Jedi. "Dark Forces II" focused on Kyle Katarn, a smuggler and secret agent who becomes a Jedi in order to kill Jerec, the Dark Jedi who killed his father (I say "Dark Jedi" because this was before stupid words like "Sith" entered the canon) and plans to use a hidden reservoir of immense power to dominate the galaxy in a new Galactic Empire.

It's a shame they didn't go with that story, but hey, what can you do?

Anonymous Geoff April 29, 2015 3:20 PM  

"Puppies on-demand" is trending on Twitter, lol.

Anonymous Steve April 29, 2015 3:23 PM  

Varenius - And who doesn't like a busty, conventionally attractive, Moff diver?

It's not like they're CGI'ing the sirenian carcass of Andrea Dworkin in the new film...

...unless Jabba's back.

Anonymous Shut up rabbit April 29, 2015 3:24 PM  

Moff Mors will be a character in the new movies
Mature adults do not base their morality on what appears in Disney movies ffs - who are these people?

Blogger Krul April 29, 2015 3:26 PM  

Steve - 6/10 - Would Bang.

Gee, that doesn't look familiar at all.

Anonymous BigGaySteve April 29, 2015 3:27 PM  

"If Jesus was real, he would love gay people not hate them like you and your evil church."

Do you know why moslems stone gays to death (with stones) & mutilate little girls genitals? On day Moo ham mads oldest wife(youngest was 6) hit puberty and he realized the gays are right about his Willey being smaller than what is now cut off little girls.

Anonymous Stilicho April 29, 2015 3:32 PM  

Muff Mons' popularity is obviously due to her constant forgetfulness about closing her jacket.

So, the LGBTXYZ crowd is sexually objectifying depressed lesbians now?

Anonymous Jack Hanson April 29, 2015 3:33 PM  

The reason Mark Hamill looks so rough is because he was in a motorcycle crash that nearly killed him in between Empire and ROTJ. Enjoyed him in the Wing Commander series.

Blogger Cameron B April 29, 2015 3:37 PM  

"Have they learned nothing from the final episode of Star Trek: Enterprise? Or Leonard Nimoy's inexplicable cameo in Star Trek: Into Darkness? Bringing back the old cast is a surefire recipe for depression."
@Steve: I dunno, I thought Chewie was holding up amazingly well given the years. I bet he will add just as much emotional depth and gravitas as his did in prior films. His cries of mourning at seeing his best friend turned into a carbon-sicle still bring a tear to the eye.

Blogger Student in Blue April 29, 2015 3:38 PM  

So, the LGBTXYZ crowd is sexually objectifying depressed lesbians now?

That, and bodyshaming. It's only the hot lesbians that get screen time! What about ""normal"" sized lesbians?

I'll have to fire off an angry tweet about this.

Blogger John Wright April 29, 2015 3:39 PM  

"Mr. Wright -- you should be ashamed. You will never be a Paul S. Kemp, who is a class act. If Jesus was real, he would love gay people not hate them like you and your evil church."

If Jesus is not real, on what grounds should I or anyone have any shame for anything?

Sadly, it is I who love the poor souls suffering from same sex attraction, and you who hate them and seek forever for them to destroy themselves. You are like the bartender who hands a drunk driver his carkeys and one last boilermaker for the road. When I ask the fellow to be sober, you scream and caper and yowl like a lunatic, and say that I wish the drunk driver ill.

You are the one causing the car wrecks of ruined lives, shattered marriages, and emotionally scarred children, not I.

You.

Link by link and yard by yard the misery and evil you promote, the hatred for humanity, and life, and love, is a chain to bind your soul forever. Were it visible in this life, you would go mad, and pluck out your eyes rather than behold it.

Anonymous Bz April 29, 2015 3:42 PM  

So Kowal wants to call herself not a SJW but no less than a "Social Justice Paladin". What is a paladin, you may ask?

"The paladins, sometimes known as the Twelve Peers, were the foremost warriors of Charlemagne's court, according to the literary cycle known as the Matter of France.[1] They first appear in the early chansons de geste such as The Song of Roland, where they represent Christian valor against the Saracen hordes inside Europe." (Wikipedia, of course.)

Well Mary, I'm actually on the side of the paladins. Do you think your friends will take it kindly that you are too?

Charles the king, our great emperor
Has been in Spain for seven long years
And conquered that proud land as far as the sea.
There is no castle which can resist him,
No wall or city left to be destroyed,
Except for Saragossa, which stands upon a mountain.
It is held by King Marsile, who does not love God;
He serves Muhammed and calls upon Apollo.
He cannot prevent disaster from overtaking him.


Anonymous Steve April 29, 2015 3:46 PM  

Jack Hanson - yup. Heard that. Though the details of his car crash seem rather elusive.

So in my cynicism I always assumed booze and/or snorting coke off the breasts of Twi'lek hookers was to blame.

Not that it matters one way or t'other.

Krul - every man gets that Friday feeling once in a while.

Anonymous Scintan April 29, 2015 3:48 PM  

If Jesus was real, he would love gay people not hate them like you and your evil church.

So the guy isn't real, but you're sure that, if he was, he'd think in just precisely the way you, a non-believer, would want him to, and the Catholic church is evil just because you say so?

You're packing a whole lot of stupid into that one little sentence.

Anonymous Steve April 29, 2015 3:51 PM  

Cameron B - sorry to break it to you, buddy, but Chewie got into the space-garbage and ate some chocolate shortly after Jedi.

There was nothing the vet could do. His insides were all burned up, cos it was Hoth chocolate. :-(

Thankfully his nephew is around for the new movie. He's a fiesty little runt called Scrappybacca. Kids are going to love him !

Anonymous Varenius April 29, 2015 3:58 PM  

Thankfully his nephew is around for the new movie. He's a fiesty little runt called Scrappybacca. Kids are going to love him !

Is he free of his uncle's speech impediment too?

Blogger Danby April 29, 2015 3:58 PM  

And another demonstration of why we loves the JCW.

Blogger Blume April 29, 2015 4:03 PM  

Dinner

Anonymous Hong Hu Shi April 29, 2015 4:07 PM  

Is he free of his uncle's speech impediment too?

"Lemme at 'em, Uncle C3PO! Wookie power!!"

Blogger Russell April 29, 2015 4:12 PM  

Scrappybacca will also be joined by the coolest dog around, Poochie

All star cast, I tells ya.

Anonymous Donn April 29, 2015 4:28 PM  

More Muff? Who the hell thought of that name, the same guy who came up with Plenty o'Toole, Pussy Galore, and Octopussy?

Blogger bob k. mando April 29, 2015 5:03 PM  

yes, i'm sure Vaginator is a new Star Wars character. that'd be Moff Mors girlfriend.

Anonymous WaterBoy April 29, 2015 5:07 PM  

Vox: "I just received 300 more badges. Malwyn will start working through them tonight. She is NOT happy."

Echoes of Loki and Sigyn....reverberate through the chamber, then fade into silence.

Anonymous fish April 29, 2015 5:09 PM  

Perangsang DH2O Cair

Pretty sure this is one of the robots.

Blogger Daniel April 29, 2015 5:15 PM  

Hang on there, Krul, I think I still have my green rimmed circa 1978 Star Wars card featuring "The Dark Lord of the Sith."

No one knew what Sith meant, but it definitely was there from the beginning.

Anonymous Varenius April 29, 2015 5:24 PM  

yes, i'm sure Vaginator is a new Star Wars character. that'd be Moff Mors girlfriend.

Who gets jealous whenever Moff hangs out with Perangsang Max Women.

But they all agree that Obat Pembesar Penis is kinda icky.

Blogger Daniel April 29, 2015 5:30 PM  

I think David Gerrold just earned himself a badge. He wrote this fictionalization of a fellow member of SF "fandom" and former president of the LASFS, Ed Green, and got it published in the Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction:

By the time the party finally broke up, after the last ambulance pulled away and the police were satisfied that Ed Green was going to keep his clothes on this time–we told them he was practicing for an upcoming audition (“The Canoga Park Players are planning a revival of NAKED BOYS SINGING…”) and that seemed to mollify the officers, although they declined the offer of comped seats for opening night…

...Because the comic depiction of the pathos of gay boys in the high school gym locker room, praying they don't get erections among the other athletes is really the best use of SF mindshare following the MZB, Ed Kramer, Delaney and Breen assaults.

Snowflake of David...

Anonymous fish April 29, 2015 5:32 PM  

But they all agree that Obat Pembesar Penis is kinda icky.

Pretty sure she wouldn't find Alat Bantu Sex Wanita icky.

Anonymous WaterBoy April 29, 2015 5:34 PM  

Erevis Cale: "And Moff Mors is turning into a fan favorite"

Did it ever occur to any of those fans that Kemp is deliberately trolling them? Think about it...a lesbian named Moff Mors...MORE MUFF?!? C'mon -- how more blatantly patronizing can you get?

Blogger SirHamster April 29, 2015 5:57 PM  

Muff Mons' popularity is obviously due to her constant forgetfulness about closing her jacket.

That chick has an Alliance emblem on her jacket, and a blue "I'M A GOOD GUY" lightsaber.

Anonymous AnalogMan April 29, 2015 6:37 PM  

dh April 29, 2015 12:45 PM

At the current pace, it will be a full fledged badge of honor within 5 years.

Way ahead of you. I boast "I was racist before it was cool".

Anonymous Ridip April 29, 2015 7:40 PM  

Muff Smores?

I hate hair in my chocolate and marshmallow.

Anonymous TimP April 29, 2015 7:49 PM  

It's Indonesian (or perhaps Malaysian or some other really similar language) spam.

fish, did you type "Alat Bantu Sex Wanita" into a online translator? Because if not you're rather amusingly correct by accident, it literally means "Sex aid for women". ("Obat Pembesar Penis" I think means Viagra)

Anonymous AnalogMan April 29, 2015 8:14 PM  

GracieLou - April 29, 2015 1:58 PM:

The comments at that link--Ha! A "Logan" suggests in the politest possible way that Carol's review is unethical. A debate ensues...

The strangest thing is that this woman has a readership, that apparently takes her seriously. She's barely semi-literate herself, and she's criticising others' writing? (Numerous grammatical errors, e.g. "then" for "than", "referral" for "reference", plus of course a dirty mouth).

Anonymous DavidKathome April 29, 2015 9:06 PM  

You guys have almost zero influence.

What was that you said Erevis Cale? I was so busy trying to decide which 2015 Hugo nominee for Best Novella deserves the #1 spot that I didn't quite hear it.

Anonymous zen0 April 29, 2015 9:40 PM  

@ Scintan

You're packing a whole lot of stupid into that one little sentence.

Don't give it too much credit. All it has to do is be stupid at the outset, and then just freely express itself.

Anonymous Jack Amok April 29, 2015 10:32 PM  

Nobody nominated Erevis Cale for the UMB yet?

Anonymous fish April 29, 2015 11:05 PM  

fish, did you type "Alat Bantu Sex Wanita" into a online translator? Because if not you're rather amusingly correct by accident, it literally means "Sex aid for women". ("Obat Pembesar Penis" I think means Viagra)

No after Varenius left the following:

yes, i'm sure Vaginator is a new Star Wars character. that'd be Moff Mors girlfriend.

Who gets jealous whenever Moff hangs out with Perangsang Max Women.

But they all agree that Obat Pembesar Penis is kinda icky.



I just found an offering that I thought the new Star Wars character....Moff...or Muff... would find appealing sexually.

Blogger Krul April 29, 2015 11:54 PM  

Daniel - No one knew what Sith meant, but it definitely was there from the beginning.

Be that as it may, the game is emphatic. Jerec is not a Sith, he's a "Dark Jedi".

Any evidence to the contrary will be met with ear plugs and a loud rendition of HMS Pinafore.

Blogger Shimshon April 30, 2015 2:24 AM  

I liked Mark Hamil in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Anonymous GracieLou April 30, 2015 11:46 AM  

AnalogMan, "The strangest thing is that this woman has a readership, that apparently takes her seriously."

With this type of person, there is the thinnest veneer of competence, in her case maybe less than a veneer-- a faux finish, which is acceptable to frivolous types who favor style over substance because it's cheap and easy to toss when another style comes along. She's got that retro 1950's lady avatar, so hip, so with it, but she has no depth, like particle board furniture that looks great until somebody sets a drink down without a coaster or a kid takes a Hotwheel to it--you're left with a scratched-up, white-ringed piece of junk. A more solid host such as we have here, keeping with the furniture analogy, is the type your cousin Daryl could take a chain to and that would only add to the patina.

Blogger Henry Smith May 02, 2015 10:48 AM  

Danby said: If you feel unworthy to be noticed by our Dark Lord, even to the point of being counted, you can use the #4096 patch. That way you can be a Vile, Faceless, and Numberless Minion.

You can be vile, faceless, and numberless too? Who knew?!?

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