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Sunday, June 14, 2015

It would be more efficient

It's a sad day when the parodies are more sensible than the actual policies:
Recognizing the need for a new strategy to fight ISIS, the Pentagon announced today that it would no longer supply the Iraqi Army with American vehicles, artillery and rifles, and instead would supply materiel directly to ISIS.

CENTCOM spokesman Air Force Col. Patrick Ryder says the idea “would be a game changer.”

The plan has its roots in Army Capt. Noel Abelove’s PowerPoint briefing, which was hailed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff, sources said. Abelove, a supply officer on the Joint Logistics Staff (J-4), realized that cutting out the Iraqi Army middlemen had numerous advantages.

“They taught me at West Point that ‘amateurs talk strategy but professionals talk logistics,’” Abelove told reporters. “The most important advantage is, we only supply about 40 percent of each ISIS requisition.”

Abelove continued: “Before, when we gave the [Iraqi] Army 100 percent, then we had to fly strike missions to destroy a lot of it a week or two later. This way we immediately degrade ISIS by over 60 percent, without having to use our increasingly scarce missiles and JDAMs, and more importantly, without having to put any airmen into harm’s way.”

Other sources indicate that supplying ISIS also reduces the risk of sensitive equipment being passed to Iran by Shiite commanders in the Iraqi Army, or being sold on Craigslist.

“A lot of these guys were piling a lot of cash into banks in Qatar and the Caymans,” according to an analyst who requested anonymity. “Well, screw that. ISIS will literally burn anyone selling our gear.”
Counterinsurgency is difficult enough in the best of circumstances. But it's even harder when you're stupid. And that's the best case scenario. Worst case, "my Muslim faith" wasn't the inadvertent slip of the tongue everyone, including the interviewer who had to catch and correct him, assumed it to have been.

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39 Comments:

Blogger stats June 14, 2015 11:12 AM  

I don't get the joke. Isn't it already clear from the DIA report and anecdotal evidence that the US has long been providing arms directly to ISIS?

Anonymous RedBane June 14, 2015 11:14 AM  

Of course, the Pentagon has indeed, already been 'inadvertently' supplying ISIS with material aid and arms. Is this then parody or satire?

'According to investigative reporter Nafeez Ahmed in Medium, the "leaked document reveals that in coordination with the Gulf states and Turkey, the West intentionally sponsored violent Islamist groups to destabilize Assad, despite anticipating that doing so could lead to the emergence of an ‘Islamic State’ in Iraq and Syria '

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-05-23/secret-pentagon-report-reveals-us-created-isis-tool-overthrow-syrias-president-assad

Blogger Red Bane June 14, 2015 11:16 AM  

@stats


Yes

Blogger stats June 14, 2015 11:16 AM  

Obama's Muslim faith has nothing to do with US support of ISIS. ISIS is part of the grand Zionist plan for dismantling and Balkanizing the Mid-East. Obama is just following the Neo-con plan as instructed.

Blogger Red Bane June 14, 2015 11:18 AM  

Two words: YINON PLAN

Anonymous Fran June 14, 2015 11:20 AM  

Even when the interview corrected him, Obama just looked at him in what one could call a defiant manner
OH but hey he's a Christian. Everyone knows that.
This isn't incompetence on Obama's part.

Anonymous fish June 14, 2015 11:25 AM  

Liked this one better!

http://www.duffelblog.com/2015/01/outgoing-hhc-commander-still-hates-you-all/

Blogger Joshua Sinistar June 14, 2015 11:31 AM  

You see, this is why you should NEVER TRUST A TRAITOR, because if he'll betray other people, he'll betray you too. The jews thought that because his mommy was a jew that he was a Kosher Red Diaper baby like his Grandparents. They never considered that his black muslim half would be the big problem it has become.
God only knows who this fucker really works for, it might be the Russians, it might be Soros and the NWo, it might even be the Ayatollah. Considering he has the worst case of narcissism I've ever seen where he goes to someone's funeral and spends the whole time talking about himself, he might not really work for anyone!
This guy is a nobody with delusions of grandeur. When he was in Chicago he was a nothing community organizer in Daley's Political Machine. His wife was higher on the food chain than he was, and he probably spent all day daydreaming about doing something big and being somebody. I think he wants to be a martyr like JFK or MLK, which is probably why half the Secret Service is out picking up hookers and his front door is unlocked.
There's really no telling what this fucker will do to become the historical figure he wants to become. He might start a War with Russia, he might help the Ayatollah bomb Tel-Aviv so the Israelis use the Samson Option, and he might even help the Iranians and Al Qeuda bomb New York City to start World War III!
There is nothing more dangerous than a man who's not afaraid to die, but when he's suicidal and hoping to become a martyr, you've got problems! We might end up in a Road Warrior Post-Apocalyptic future like Mad Max after this guy is done, if someone doesn't take him out soon!

Anonymous Aeoli Pera June 14, 2015 11:35 AM  

The plan has its roots in Army Capt. Noel Abelove’s PowerPoint briefing, which was hailed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff, sources said.

That one line speaks volumes.

Anonymous Takin' a look June 14, 2015 11:36 AM  

RedBane and stats are "Noticing"......

ANTI-SEMITES!!!!!!!!

Blogger Red Bane June 14, 2015 11:37 AM  

Does anyone actually believe that a nobody 'community organizer' actually has any power or influence? I'm pretty sure that economist Martin Armstrong has discussed the fact that Presidents haven't wielded any real power for some time now. By all accounts, when Obummer isn't learning his lines, he is glued to the sports channels.

Blogger Salt June 14, 2015 11:41 AM  

In other news, the California State Legislature has passed a bill to begin directly equipping Crips and Bloods in the hopes that such a policy will further enable its needs-objective of hiring more immigrants to police the natives. In related news, a spokes-person for the City of Baltimore said, "We're seriously looking at this progressive California policy as we believe, in the long run, it could again make Baltimore a living paradise. Nothing says safety more than the threat of violence."

OpenID simplytimothy June 14, 2015 11:42 AM  

amateurs talk strategy but professionals talk logistics

Ok, that got my attention; then asks himself, "What are the first principles of logistics and how do they apply to the North American continent"

Do you start wiht geography?
Weather?
Available transportation?
Fuel?
Human factors?

Are there any existing FM's?






Blogger Rabbi B June 14, 2015 11:46 AM  

"Does anyone actually believe that a nobody 'community organizer' actually has any power or influence?"

I do. As long as people view him as nothing more than a nobody 'community organizer', he wields tremendous power and influence. Underestimating him is a colossal mistake.

"Presidents haven't wielded any real power for some time now."

He is not like any other president we have ever had. He's in a league all by himself.

Blogger Cataline Sergius June 14, 2015 11:49 AM  

“We’re going to offer them a slot on the F-35 development team,” a civilian logistician who reports directly to the Defense Secretary who requested anonymity said. “We bankrupted the Soviets, and this might just bankrupt the Islamic State.

“Hard cash is the new soft power,” he concluded.


Bad news. The ISIS dinar is on the gold standard.

Blogger Shimshon June 14, 2015 11:50 AM  

Which Craigslist? I'm working on my shopping list now...

Blogger Bard June 14, 2015 11:51 AM  

He He He..Wait, it was satire, correct?

Blogger Cataline Sergius June 14, 2015 11:52 AM  

“We’re going to offer them a slot on the F-35 development team,” a civilian logistician who reports directly to the Defense Secretary who requested anonymity said. “We bankrupted the Soviets, and this might just bankrupt the Islamic State.

“Hard cash is the new soft power,” he concluded.


Bad news. The ISIS dinar is on the gold standard.

Blogger Noah B #120 June 14, 2015 12:21 PM  

I do. As long as people view him as nothing more than a nobody 'community organizer', he wields tremendous power and influence. Underestimating him is a colossal mistake.

A surprising fraction of Californians involved in the experiment -- or Obama Zombies, as RT lovingly calls them -- just signed a petition to nuke Russia because they thought it was what Obama wanted.

Yes, that man is still quite dangerous. There are still a sizable number of idiots who will agree with whatever Obama does, a twisted result of unquestioning Democratic Party loyalty and white guilt.

Blogger Chris Mallory June 14, 2015 12:31 PM  

There is more evidence that Obama is an undercover Israeli than there is that he is a secret Muslim.

Anonymous Takin' a look June 14, 2015 12:32 PM  

-Joshua Sinistar

I wish I could dredge up sympathy for the $aturdays...it's just that....whenever I bring up the Holodormer and the 17 million dead Ukranians, I get blank stares.

"Who is Lazar Kaganovich?"

"What's a Kulak?"

-uncomfortable squirming and glazed glare "UR a NAZIWHOWANTSTOKILLSIXMILLIONJEWS!!!!!!"

Same deal with the Armenians or the Boers or the Atlantic Slave trade or the Crimean Slave trade. "U ANTISEMITE!!!HITLER!"

Since the "little brethren" worship or give tactic, silent approval to their Satanic "big brethren" so overwhelmingly. I have a DILLIGAF attitude to the few "Good Jews".

Anonymous zen0 Unglued June 14, 2015 12:42 PM  

I believe everything that is said about the Middle East

AND

I believe nothing that is said about the Middle East.

Blogger YIH June 14, 2015 12:50 PM  

Gotta admit, once I realized it was indeed satire (getting more difficult to tell the difference these days) it was rather funny.
Part of the reason is the US are sometimes directly but more often indirectly aiding/supplying ISIS. Not to mention ''our greatest ally'' as well as the Saudis another great ally of the US.
In a way, I can see the MOAR WAR!!! party working, because they can't gin up much enthusiasm for ''bomb Iran'' so they're pining for another aspect of 80's nostalgia; the Iran-Iraq war with ISIS being the replacement Saddam.

Blogger Nobody June 14, 2015 12:55 PM  

A surprising fraction of Californians involved in the experiment -- or Obama Zombies, as RT lovingly calls them -- just signed a petition to nuke Russia because they thought it was what Obama wanted.

They did the same thing in Russia. The Russians were shocked by the question itself.

Anonymous The Original Hermit June 14, 2015 12:59 PM  

Not really OT since we're anyway talking about them. I don't even care if it's true, I'm still going to act like it is.

Blogger Nobody June 14, 2015 1:03 PM  

As long as people view him as nothing more than a nobody...

Actually, Obama is a nobody without the immense power of the CIA, NSA, DoD, State Dept., FBI, and etc., projecting their power. The fact is, Obama is not behind everything these agencies do. Sometimes, they are a power unto themselves.

Blogger pdwalker June 14, 2015 1:30 PM  

Seriously, how can you tell anymore if this is a parody or not?

I confess that I am no longer able to tell the difference anymore. The more "extreme", the more believable it seems to become.

Blogger Nobody June 14, 2015 1:32 PM  

The good Lord didn't see fit to put oil and gas (mineral deposits) only where there are democratically elected regimes friendly to the United States. Occasionally we have to operate in places where, all things considered, one would not normally choose to go. But, we go where the business is.

Sometimes by proxy.

Think: Caspian Sea. Black Sea. Mediterranean Sea. Oil-Gas pipelines. Minerals. <----- That is the chessboard.

Anyone think the USGov is pissed because Putin took possession of Crimea and maintained its Black Sea Fleet because of dumbocracy? Right now, we are at war with Russia by other means.

Blogger Nobody June 14, 2015 1:40 PM  

We are interrupting Russian ambition, oil/gas pipelines - minerals, throughout these geographic regions.

Anonymous George of the Jungle June 14, 2015 1:48 PM  

The Affirmative Action Pustule is unique among US Presidents in that everything he does in the Mideast seems to be completely arbitrary or insane. Is the rise of sunni ISIS now a counterweight to shia Iran? Are we secretly on the former's side because the Russians and Chinese with the latter want to destabilize the petrodollar? If Israel didn't exist would we be there regardless because of oil? Will the Antichrist be introduced to us soon?

Maybe there's a classic quote from some old movie that covers this. Hell, a good quote might even make the whole thing laughable for about two seconds.

Blogger Nobody June 14, 2015 1:59 PM  

It's not so much that Russia wants to destabilize the Petro-dollar first and foremost, but to maintain its own national economy. The Petro-dollar is incidental in that our economy depends on it. And, the U.S. wants everyone else to depend on it, and the U.S.

All your oil/gas and minerals belongs to us.

Blogger Nobody June 14, 2015 2:00 PM  

Just think of the Petro-dollar as a global tax.

Anonymous shadow #0342 June 14, 2015 2:08 PM  


@taking a look

What about the 51 million via the Temples of Moloch (aka Planned Parenthood)?

Blogger Joshua Sinistar June 14, 2015 2:23 PM  

Yeah look, I'm no fan of jews or the Israelis either, but that Samson Option could be a lot worse than you imagine. Israel is a very small country and even a small Hiroshima size Atomic Bomb could blow the shit out of it and get Bibi to do something we all regret.
People still won't believe that Obama is a Muslim after all that's happened, but what if he is. I don't care if he's an infidel who supports gay Marriage. If he can nuke an American city or Israel he will be the Greatest Muslim Hero since the guy who conquered Constantinople. A narcissist like this would love to have over a Billion people revere his name and have his picture hanging in their house.
The Iranian Government is not at all stable. They already had a rebellion that scared the shit out of the Mullahs. One of the ways an unpopular Government stays in power is start a War against foreigners. A foreign war is a serious option for leaders who see themselves hanging from a hemp necktie.

Anonymous BGS June 14, 2015 2:41 PM  

You see, this is why you should NEVER TRUST A TRAITOR, because if he'll betray other people, he'll betray you too. The jews

But we are special snowflakes, you see how he lied to the nigger clergy about being against gay marriage a week before the 2012 election. This is understandable as black clergy doesn't want to see families with 2 deadbeat dads.

probably why half the Secret Service is out picking up hookers and his front door is unlocked.

It was like that with the Clintons but the SS was bringing the hookers to Bill.

25. Anonymous The Original Hermit June 14, 2015 12:59 PM Not really OT since we're anyway talking about them.

I thought everyone here knew trannies cant give birth.

Anonymous Takin' a look June 14, 2015 2:59 PM  

-shadow #0342

Good Point, plus the Pill was created by a $aturday as well. I look at abortion/contraception as a trade-off, sure we had a lot of whites use it to murder their own babies, but they were and are mostly defective SWJ types anyways. Conservatives are (mostly) either waiting for marriage/steady relationship or using responsible contraception. I do feel for those poverty stricken whites who feel no other choice. Though I would prefer adoption or a family member.

Plus, almost half of abortions are dindu nuffins concieved since roe vs. Wade. They are made good before they even come out the womb. Unless you wish for Bantumore and Fergastan to nearly double in size, its a good thing.

Blogger Red Bane June 14, 2015 5:39 PM  

As Vox has rightly pointed out before:

"More to the point, they are as meaningless as the USA's have been since JP Morgan was selecting both the Republican and Democratic presidential nominees. (See Carroll Quigley's TRAGEDY AND HOPE)."

Blogger Cail Corishev June 14, 2015 6:25 PM  

Obama doesn't have the power that most Americans think, but he's not a helpless puppet either. His prejudices and ideology do affect policy.

When Obama was elected and his fans said he'd get us out of foreign conflicts, I predicted that we'd just shift our focus to Africa, because of his obsession with his African-ness. That's happened. Not to the extent it would have if he were an absolute ruler, but he's shifted the focus southwest from where McCain/Romney/Clinton would have had it. The rest of the power brokers are interested in oil and Israel, and Obama's mostly interested in Africa, so they've combined for increased meddling in African countries that have implications for oil and Israel.

Aside from that, he just plain hates America. (Hates it the way SJWs hate those jocks and cheerleaders they think picked on them in school.) To the extent that he can do it without being obvious, he will aid Americas enemies and do things he thinks will weaken America. Currently in that part of the world, that means he's spoiled for choice when trying to decide whom to support, because any American involvement will do that. He'll help ISIS and ISIS's enemies, if it looks like that will cause problems for America and make her look bad. And he won't have much trouble getting the rest of the power brokers to sign off on it, because they figure the more involved we are over there, the more they can push their own agendas and line their own pockets.

Blogger Nobody June 14, 2015 7:34 PM  

Which country is that? The Bush America, or the Obama America?

Obama just continued the Bush ME/Persia/Africa 7 countries in 5 year plan.

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