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Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Let women save themselves, noble sir

This one is for all the Deltas and Gammas out there, who really need to grasp this simple fact: you don't save women. You just don't do it. The fact that a woman is in need of saving is, in fact, a serious disqualification, and you should understand that your desire to save her is intrinsically predatory in nature. It is preying upon the weak at a level to which not even the pick-up artists you hate and envy will descend.

And in any event, to paraphrase Cavour, the ingratitude of woman will astonish the world.
Even though I’d worked with Carla for over a year I really didn’t know her that well and that was the reason for my apprehension and not that I had just come out of a marriage that started much the same way.

But Carla knew exactly how to kill that apprehension and trigger that oh-so-useful male provider instinct by upping the ante:

One Monday morning, Carla was absent from work. She hadn’t called or texted since Saturday night so I was on edge wondering if another man had her attention now.

Finally, around lunch time I get a frantic call from her. She tearfully tells me her boyfriend kicked her out on Sunday, threw all of her and her son’s stuff out on the lawn and that she was at her sister’s place.

I told her I was relieved that she at least had a place to stay. But Carla turned up the heat just a few more degrees by telling me that her sister’s boyfriend told her she could only stay for a week and after that he’d take her to a shelter…

…and that was all I needed to hear. I got her sister’s address, told my boss I was taking the rest of the day off, jumped in my car, and raced over to rescue my fair maiden with my cape flapping in the wind.

I was so excited about how lucky I was to get a second chance to rescue a woman it was pathetic. I was actually thinking to myself “I’m gonna do it right this time” on my way over to get her.

After all was said and done, I had rented her a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a fenced in back yard for her dog near downtown. I paid the deposit and first month’s rent, turned on her electric and cable, all in my name. I even rented a U-Haul and moved her shit into her new place (with the help of her sister’s boyfriend).
Guess how that story ended? Dr. Dre was right.

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196 Comments:

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 9:00 AM  

After all was said and done, I had rented her a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a fenced in back yard for her dog near downtown. I paid the deposit and first month’s rent, turned on her electric and cable, all in my name.

Wow...just wow...

Blogger JP August 11, 2015 9:07 AM  

Holy balls, Batman! I can't even afford a 3-bedroom house for myself!

Blogger Bill August 11, 2015 9:09 AM  

Forget all that crap about "beta", "omega", "red-pill", blah blah blah. That dude is just a moron. Warrant for his arrest? Check.

Anonymous Stg58 / Animal Mother #225 August 11, 2015 9:25 AM  

HERE BE-ETH THINE APARTMENT MILADY

Blogger Hazim August 11, 2015 9:26 AM  

Heh... call center manager.

Blogger Doom August 11, 2015 9:32 AM  

Okay, this is so over the top that I'm not sure I believe it. If it happens to be true, this dude deserves everything bad that could happen to him. He was trying to buy sex the expensive way, with a woman he really should have known better than to have sex with. This guy will end up in prison, and deserves it. Criminally immoral and stupid is a disastrous mix. I'm betting ten to one he learned nothing, and probably can't learn.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 9:40 AM  

The thing to remember is that YOU can't turn a ho into a housewife. That does not mean that women cannot change.

It means YOU can't do it.

In this women are exactly like men. You can't help them until they don't need help anymore.

That's the bitter truth.

Anonymous Difster August 11, 2015 9:47 AM  

This story triggers me.

Blogger D. Lane (#0067) August 11, 2015 9:48 AM  

This reads like someone trying to defeat a climbing wall on an obstacle course by breaking into a full-on sprint and plunging head-first into the structure thinking he's going to set a new time record.

Anonymous RedJack #22 August 11, 2015 9:50 AM  

I have helped people move in that situation. Normally my bride's friends. I demand payment in money or beer. My bride learned after the third one that some women are just to nuts to have coffee with, and I haven't had to move anyone in a decade.


Otherwise, you made the drama, deal with the drama yourself. Not my problem and I don't care.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 9:54 AM  

This reads like someone trying to defeat a climbing wall on an obstacle course by breaking into a full-on sprint and plunging head-first into the structure thinking he's going to set a new time record.

It works for the Kool Aid man...

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 9:56 AM  

My parents knew an entrepreneur in our town who had a business repairing cars. Not friend per se, just acquaintance. Really nice guy, and very good reputation in his business. He got involved with a Russian woman. Few years later he was found dead in his home. Apparently frozen to death, electricity cut off due to unpaid invoices and all money gone. Woman nowhere to be found.

I hope it was at least worth it, though I highly doubt it.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 9:57 AM  

"And in any event, to paraphrase Cavour, the ingratitude of woman will astonish the world."

a mark is a mark. a chump is a chump. and a single mom is a predator.

The thing to remember is... a single mom as a predator is a just a sign of a woman doing her job. Her job is to see that her kid is taken care of. If that means finding a chump and taking advantage of him... so be it.

Anonymous Luke August 11, 2015 9:58 AM  

Redjack, your "bride"? That term is usually used in my experience only by husbands that are 1) newlyweds, or 2) being pompous. The "decade" reference sounds as if #1 is n/a for you, leaving #2.

Agreed the guy in the OP was completely lacking in judgement. I have not yet read the rest of the article at the link, but will predict that if anything SHE would deserve time in the can. He just deserves to be broke and have his line end with him, serving as an example of why NOT to help a nonblood/non-in-law woman, and sounds from the OP as if those are all coming true.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 10:03 AM  

When I learned of his fate, if one could die from unsurprise, I probably would be a second casualty of the Russky.

Anonymous BW August 11, 2015 10:03 AM  

The worst part is that he did it for selfish reasons. If he was doing it just to help her as a fellow human being, he may have been foolish, but he would still have been noble. I had a similar experience trying to help a homeless man, and in retrospect, I let him take too much advantage of me. This is where true Christian doctrine is useful. One can help people, but one cannot save them; and the ones that do not want to be saved, God cannot even save. Do what is reasonable, leave the rest alone.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 10:06 AM  

Redjack, your "bride"? That term is usually used in my experience only by husbands that are 1) newlyweds, or 2) being pompous. The "decade" reference sounds as if #1 is n/a for you, leaving #2.

We don't care.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 10:16 AM  

a mark is a mark. a chump is a chump. and a single mom is a predator.

The thing to remember is... a single mom as a predator is a just a sign of a woman doing her job. Her job is to see that her kid is taken care of. If that means finding a chump and taking advantage of him... so be it.


It's true. I feel bad for people who are taken advantage of, but this guy never learned the first time it happened to him: I had just come out of a marriage that started much the same way. It's like some girl pretending she's still a naif when the 2nd, 3rd or 4th bad boy "takes advantage" of her. At some point, you need to stop pointing yourself into situations where you're the victim.

Redjack, your "bride"? That term is usually used in my experience only by husbands that are 1) newlyweds, or 2) being pompous. The "decade" reference sounds as if #1 is n/a for you, leaving #2.

I doubt this sperg faggot is even married but feels the need to dump on a decent Delta guy because beep boop incorrect term applied to human female relation beep boop. Meanwhile RedJack's wife just popped out his 3rd, 4th, 5th? After a harrowing pregnancy experience. Please correct me if I'm wrong, RedJack.

Anonymous The other robot August 11, 2015 10:20 AM  

Apparently frozen to death, electricity cut off due to unpaid invoices and all money gone. Woman nowhere to be found.

Seems Hans Reiser didn't fall for that.

Anonymous PA August 11, 2015 10:24 AM  

The Gamma thing started making perfect sense to me when I came up with this working definition of one: Alpha ambition without the Alpha goods.

Anonymous Peter Garstig August 11, 2015 10:27 AM  

OT: Ronda at it again. Who steps in the ring? Might be easy money.

Blogger automatthew August 11, 2015 10:28 AM  

I came here to say "beep boop", but Marissa handled it for me.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 10:33 AM  

OT: Ronda at it again. Who steps in the ring? Might be easy money.

Does she have a death wish?

Blogger Midnight Avenue J August 11, 2015 10:34 AM  

@14 Luke: I have not yet read the rest of the article at the link, but will predict that if anything SHE would deserve time in the can. He just deserves to be broke and have his line end with him, serving as an example of why NOT to help a nonblood/non-in-law woman, and sounds from the OP as if those are all coming true.

It gets better. He links to his saga with a girl he calls "Amy" who was crazy hot, dad in prison most of her life, cheated on him from day one, lots of drug addict friends. He lost his apartment and dropped out of school and ended up living with her drug addict friends for a while...

It's almost too melodramatic to be true, that this happened to him twice. Carla wasn't cautionary enough, he gets with Amy and does it all over again.

Blogger Midnight Avenue J August 11, 2015 10:40 AM  

You're in good company, RedJack. To the day he died, my grandfather always referred to my grandmother as "my bride." He was not an educated man, nor a pompous one, but a quiet and hard worker who taught me a million-and-one things about everything: cars, boats, tying knots, how to gut fish and deer, and by example just how to be an upstanding citizen, good parent, and hard worker.

Anonymous Stg58 / Animal Mother #225 August 11, 2015 10:40 AM  

I've only known a couple men who could use the term "my bride" unironically.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 10:42 AM  

It gets better. He links to his saga with a girl he calls "Amy" who was crazy hot, dad in prison most of her life, cheated on him from day one, lots of drug addict friends. He lost his apartment and dropped out of school and ended up living with her drug addict friends for a while...

It's almost too melodramatic to be true, that this happened to him twice. Carla wasn't cautionary enough, he gets with Amy and does it all over again.


If you read his article about his marriage it's the same pattern as the other two stories.

Blogger Jeff Weimer August 11, 2015 10:45 AM  

This reads like someone trying to defeat a climbing wall on an obstacle course by breaking into a full-on sprint and plunging head-first into the structure thinking he's going to set a new time record.

It works for the Kool Aid man...

OH YEAH!!!

Anonymous Stingray August 11, 2015 10:51 AM  

I've only known a couple men who could use the term "my bride" unironically.

My husband refers to me using this all the time.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 August 11, 2015 10:51 AM  

Trashy women deserve the trash they live in.

Anonymous BGS August 11, 2015 11:01 AM  

I had rented her a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a fenced in back yard for her dog near downtown. I paid the deposit and first month’s rent, turned on her electric and cable, all in my name.

He bought a 3 bedroom place for the woman and kid but didn't move in himself. Insane.

That dude is just a moron. Warrant for his arrest? Check.

He is lucky the cop was nice enough to let his friend get the car instead of impounding it. He could have used that 3 bedroom money to hire a lawyer, or not ignore the warrant.

Criminally immoral and stupid is a disastrous mix.

I used to think that blacks are just over represented in violent crimes but they are overrepresented in everything but DUIs and licensing crimes, like the woman stupid enough to post on facebook she was the QUEEN OF THE TAX CHEATS for stealing patients ID
http://www.tampabay.com/news/courts/criminal/tampa-tax-fraud-queen-a-big-spender-even-in-prison/2176673

Redjack, your "bride"? That term is usually used in my experience only by husbands that are perhaps Russian/Philippian mail order bride

OT: Ronda at it again. Who steps in the ring? Might be easy money. Does she have a death wish?

It said a rule less fight so maybe she has a sniper. Maybe I should take her on, I could wear a rainbow feather boa, & a tutu.

It's almost too melodramatic to be true, that this happened to him twice.

Some people are addicted to the drama. I knew one gay couple that broke up and got back together every month with Jerry Springer style drama in the street outside their apartment.

Blogger Doom August 11, 2015 11:01 AM  

He wasn't doing any of this out of the goodness of his heart. He was simply trying to buy sex. Then he gets upset that when this woman he is trying to buy is easy? Really? I hope his job doesn't require much thinking. What is he, a delivery boy at a pot dispensary?

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 11:04 AM  

"If you read his article about his marriage it's the same pattern as the other two stories."

which makes me question the veracity of all of it.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 11:07 AM  

If you didn't receive a legitimate dowry, you shouldn't go around calling her your bride.

Blogger Corvinus August 11, 2015 11:09 AM  

I wonder how much overlap there is between being Captain Save-a-Ho and adopting black kids. Same basic mentality, if you think about it.

Anonymous PA August 11, 2015 11:11 AM  

One diffetence: captain Save-a-Ho does not inflict his works on his neighbors, the cuck adoptive parent does.

Anonymous Jack Amok August 11, 2015 11:15 AM  

a mark is a mark. a chump is a chump. and a single mom is a predator.

Like the angler fish, she dangles what looks like a tasty meal and along comes Capt. Savahoe - a predator himself, just lower on the food chain - thinking he's finally found himself something.

Anonymous cheddarman August 11, 2015 11:15 AM  

pre-red pill, I helped a friend of mine hide her sister from a wife beating husband for a week. After the episode, she went back to the wife beater. He later died from an over dose of chronic pain meds, and left behind one very f'ed up daughter.

Anonymous praetorian August 11, 2015 11:15 AM  

And his neighbors kids....

Blogger Ron Winkleheimer August 11, 2015 11:21 AM  

Having read the article one point seemed particularly interesting, the woman's sister dropped the dime on her to her sister's "boyfriend."

I'm doubtful that she did that because of any moral considerations.

Anonymous Gary August 11, 2015 11:25 AM  

I laughed like hell, are some people this stupid?

Tell me this is some sort of parody.

Blogger Cail Corishev August 11, 2015 11:27 AM  

If you read his article about his marriage it's the same pattern as the other two stories.

Sounds like the women who somehow just happen to wind up over and over with men who beat them. Breaking deep-seated habits is rare.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 11:28 AM  

I wonder how much overlap there is between being Captain Save-a-Ho and adopting black kids. Same basic mentality, if you think about it

What?

Blogger YIH August 11, 2015 11:32 AM  

This dude goes from trainwreck to trainwreck. Read the story about 'Darcy'. He actually went and married that piece of work.
And boy was she ever:
1. She didn’t have custody of her daughter: I didn’t think much of this when she revealed this to me on our first date because I was just happy to be liked by a pretty girl. Her young daughter was in the custody of her ex-husband.
No cheating, who can guess why?

Anonymous NateM August 11, 2015 11:38 AM  

Of course Rousey calls out mayweather, there's a method to her madness. She has to call out the guy on top who she knows will Never take her up on her offer, so she can maintain plausible deniability. I just don't get why Everybody in MMA is rallying around her like it's NOT ridiculous that she claims she could beat him. Even Dana White. I respect Joe Rogan, but he fluffs her up like she's so great (as a Women's Fighter) but always stops short of pointing out how little chance she has against a male fighter. And Rogan really knows the sport.

I recall a shoot interview where the Big Show talked about the angle they did with Mayweather where he got punched in the face by him. Show recalled it being a flurry of a punches and he barely could tell the punches apart (it was a basic 123 if I recall correctly). Show walked away with a busted nose. Imagine what he'd do against a woman he'd outweigh by at least 15 lbs. It'd be a murder. He's a skilled outside fighter, he can move his feet. Chances are she'll drop her hands trying to shoot on him and he'll land a combo ending with a hook and she'll be done

Anonymous Stg58 / Animal Mother #225 August 11, 2015 11:38 AM  

I helped a friend of my wife's move out of her house after her husband knocked up an illegal alien and left my wife's friend with an eviction notice.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 11:38 AM  

If you didn't receive a legitimate dowry, you shouldn't go around calling her your bride.

Medical experts agree: lead is a top cure for autism.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 11:41 AM  

I just don't get why Everybody in MMA is rallying around her like it's NOT ridiculous that she claims she could beat him.

Did you, or did you not, click the link?

Blogger dc.sunsets August 11, 2015 11:42 AM  

All this makes me happier than ever that I met the right girl at 16, married her at 22 and am still happily married 33 years later.

All three of my sons appear to have found similiarly "needle-in-the-haystack" ladies to marry and with whom to raise families.

The masses of people (both men and women) suck.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 11:43 AM  

If you clicked the link, then that's why. Rousey makes you click the link.

Anonymous karsten August 11, 2015 11:43 AM  

"The Gamma thing started making perfect sense to me when I came up with this working definition of one: Alpha ambition without the Alpha goods."

This is disturbingly possible. Is it just Gamma, though? I wonder if it doesn't apply to Betas as well -- indeed, practically to everyone but Omegas, who alone recognize that they do not have Alpha goods.

I have to say, I think that the development of the manosphere and its related revelations about the true nature of women in our era is one of the most humanitarian endeavours that exist today. I am not even remotely joking. When I think back to how much I might have benefited from these truths when it might have mattered, I shake my head. It wasn't until I read Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra in university that I even began to be cured of my false understand of women (an understanding based on a completely different set of cultural parameters, the kind that existed in past centuries but exist no more). The manosphere came too late for me, but it might, might save others today, if only they allow themselves a bit of honest self-assessment.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 11:44 AM  

If you clicked the link, then that's why. Rousey makes you click the link.

Lots of UFC fan boys want to click her link...

Blogger dc.sunsets August 11, 2015 11:47 AM  

When I look at my divorced acquaintances' experience it is blindingly obvious they should have seen their fiancees' dysfunctions from miles away...but chose instead to ignore them, marry, have kids and only then realize the bomb's timer ticked to zero.

One woman's mother came to their home and slept in the marital bed with the man's wife while he was out of town on business (to keep her company), and the woman's father looked (and behaved) like what is left over after a cicada has gone through metamorphosis. Talk about pussy-blind.

Anonymous PA August 11, 2015 11:48 AM  

"Alpha ambition without the Alpha goods" spotlights the Gamma's delusion about himself, and the disconnect between his behavior and people's (men and women) perception of him. Lack of Alpha goods also refers to an inability to charm others into an amicable and respectful attitude toward him.

A Beta or a Delta may harbor higher ambitions and certainly should strive for srlf-improvement, but his ambition will be congruent with his ability and station.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 11:54 AM  

I don't think betas and deltas actually want to get above their station. They may imagine they do, but if they find themselves in the thick of it, they will take the first opportunity to hand their responsibilities over to the first available alpha or beta, respectively.

Delta is being the foot soldier, beta is tactical leadership, alpha is strategic leadership. These are different skillsets, and when you find yourself in the one you don't have natural propensity for, you will feel miserable.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 11:55 AM  

Gammas on the other hand are not in it because they want to serve in the best capacity they can, but for the perks that come along with a leadership position. They won't hand it over, they will have it taken from them.

Blogger Ron Winkleheimer August 11, 2015 11:56 AM  

Of course someone who is willing to let you pay the rent and utilities for a house you aren't living in is going to take advantage of you.

They already are.

Blogger David-093 August 11, 2015 11:56 AM  

"If you didn't receive a legitimate dowry, you shouldn't go around calling her your bride."

This one is a strong contender for Douchiest Comment of the Day.

Anonymous Bz August 11, 2015 12:03 PM  

I hope the fellow was exaggerating to impress the young readers. When he was taken for a ride the third time by yet another obviously unsuitable woman, it was getting a bit difficult to continue to feel sympathetic. ("She too was a single mother, you say? And the father was in prison this time too?")

On the other hand it's probably helpful to read something like this when you're in your teens. Official society does what it can to mess your life up and fool you into making poor decisions.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 12:04 PM  

"If you clicked the link, then that's why. Rousey makes you click the link."

I didn't click the link... because no matter how many times you click it... there are still no boobs.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 12:04 PM  

actually.. every time Rousey says anything at all... the response should be Tits or GTFO

Blogger Cail Corishev August 11, 2015 12:04 PM  

@49 dc.sunsets, that's impressive. Hats off to your family.

Recently I was talking to a man whose son is kinda going off the rails. The boy was taught very traditional, Christian things about sex and marriage while growing up. He found a nice girl with similar training, and both families and their church were on board with guiding them through the courtship-engagement-marriage process, offering any help they needed. It went well for a while, then the two of them decided to blow all that off and start shacking up, spinning lies left and right to everyone involved. Now it's a mess.

The dad is distraught, trying to figure out what he did wrong or should have done better. I didn't say it, but I couldn't help thinking, "Blood tells." This dad was a PUA by the time he got to high school, and found religion later when he had kids. The girl's parents divorced when the girl was a baby, and they both did some shacking up for a few years before remarrying and becoming respectable. So both of them, especially the boy, have been taught right; but when the hormones kicked in, it didn't take long for them to revert to the same behavior as their parents at their age.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 12:07 PM  

It went well for a while, then the two of them decided to blow all that off and start shacking up, spinning lies left and right to everyone involved. Now it's a mess.

How long did this take from the initial date to the shacking up?

Blogger Cail Corishev August 11, 2015 12:09 PM  

Josh, several months. No, it wasn't a situation where they were foolishly dragging out the process for years, if that's what you're wondering. The plan was for about a year from beginning the courtship to marriage.

Blogger Brad Andrews August 11, 2015 12:10 PM  

@35 I wonder how much overlap there is between being Captain Save-a-Ho and adopting black kids. Same basic mentality, if you think about it.

Not necessarily. I thought I was building a family with adoption and the net was spread reasonably wide when my wife and I started that process. No goal to save the world, just one to build a family that wasn't coming otherwise.

====

I do call my wife of 27 years my bride at times, not always ironically. It is not common, but what else is she? Do we have to be boring?

@34 What is she then?

Blogger Cail Corishev August 11, 2015 12:12 PM  

I don't think betas and deltas actually want to get above their station.

They may want to raise their station, but they have a decent idea where that station is, and they know it would take change to move it.

The Gamma, on the other hand, thinks he's already an Alpha on the inside, but the world just refuses to see it.

Blogger Brad Andrews August 11, 2015 12:12 PM  

@62 but when the hormones kicked in, it didn't take long for them to revert to the same behavior as their parents at their age.

That is why the reveling in sin in these areas sticks in my craw. The current situation is horrid, but the alternatives put forth are not really better either.

Sin bites hard, no matter how much fun you have for the moment.

Blogger Brad Andrews August 11, 2015 12:13 PM  

@64 The plan was for about a year from beginning the courtship to marriage.

Why so long?

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 12:17 PM  

Josh, several months. No, it wasn't a situation where they were foolishly dragging out the process for years, if that's what you're wondering. The plan was for about a year from beginning the courtship to marriage.

Gotcha. Yes, that's what I was wondering.

Blogger dc.sunsets August 11, 2015 12:18 PM  

So both of them, especially the boy, have been taught right; but when the hormones kicked in, it didn't take long for them to revert to the same behavior as their parents at their age.

Perhaps. I think there's an intelligence component, too. Smart kids can understand that the argument against commitment-free sex is powerful if couched in terms of seeking happiness in the long run. Also, highly respect-worthy teens may have an easier time recognizing their own value and be more willing to look for other wheat instead of settling, short-term, for chaff.

The masses are the masses. The remnant is the remnant. Members of the former are highly unlikely to resign their enlistment and sign up with the latter.

BTW, I'm not arguing that happiness is only achievable if bride and groom are sexual virgins. I just suggest that everything we do becomes a part of us, and that there are some parts we're better off not having much of. Low time preference matters.

Blogger IM2L844 August 11, 2015 12:25 PM  

Did you, or did you not, click the link?

No. Next, she'll be threatening to kick Bobby Riggs ass. Until she proactively demands a match with Dillashaw, it's just more "girl power" wind and vapor.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 12:25 PM  

What is she then?

Your wife.

Do we have to be boring?

I don't know. Do you go around calling your car your horseless carriage?

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 12:27 PM  

This one is a strong contender for Douchiest Comment of the Day

I do what I can.

Blogger Corvinus August 11, 2015 12:29 PM  

Not necessarily. I thought I was building a family with adoption and the net was spread reasonably wide when my wife and I started that process. No goal to save the world, just one to build a family that wasn't coming otherwise.

@65 Brad Andrews
I'm more sympathetic to parents who have a sterility problem. It's the SWPLs who are perfectly able to have their own children (and often do) but prefer to play Cap'n Save-a-Ho with the Third World's poor because of feels that catch my contempt. Most of all if they're unsufferable prigs about it, like Nick Searcy.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 12:29 PM  

I don't know. Do you go around calling your car your horseless carriage?

How very old fashioned of you, old sport, everyone knows that the most modern nomenclature is a motorcar.

Blogger dc.sunsets August 11, 2015 12:30 PM  

In these times, it is very difficult to discern the essential elements of finding and staying on Happiness Path. We are surrounded by vice everywhere (vice defined as a self-harming action taken in the expectation of increasing happiness.) Premarital sex is not, by this definition, a vice. Casual sex most certainly is, along with the traditional ones.

If the young couple are honorable people committed to self-improvement, low-time-preference and deep partnership, "shacking up" is not a disqualifier for finding Happiness Path. If they learn from their parents' trips into Life's Ditches, more's the better. Wise people learn from everyone; some teach us what to do, others teach us the opposite.

Blogger David-093 August 11, 2015 12:31 PM  

"every time Rousey says anything at all... the response should be Tits or GTFO"

Yeah but that's just a formality at this point. Who really wants to see them anyway?

"The Gamma, on the other hand, thinks he's already an Alpha on the inside, but the world just refuses to see it."

I think the Gamma wants to believe he's an alpha who the world just doesn't get. Nobody else can see it, which adds to his victim complex and provides a neat explanation for why nothing ever works out for him and why he never has to change.

Anonymous Jack Amok August 11, 2015 12:32 PM  

No, it wasn't a situation where they were foolishly dragging out the process for years, if that's what you're wondering. The plan was for about a year from beginning the courtship to marriage.

Well, who's "plan" was it? If it wasn't the two of theirs, then no wonder they dumped it and made their own plan. There is a huge difference between teaching kids how to make good decisions and making decisions for them. I don't know any of the people involved in this, so I can't make any conclusions, but I would suggest one thing for the distraught father to ask himself is how many times in his son's life did he let his son make his own decisions and realize the rewards or consequences of it?

Yes, the average adult can make better decisions than the average 14 year old, but someday that 14 year old will have to make his own decisions and he needs practice doing that or he will get them wrong, no matter how much theoretical training he's gotten.

Blogger Corvinus August 11, 2015 12:33 PM  

@65 Brad Andrews
And in any case, I would never advise any white parents to ever consider adopting black children, even if they're the only ones available. White children only. Maybe Chinese or Korean girls... not boys, because they'd grow up suffering from the NOWAG handicap. But otherwise, only white kids.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 12:35 PM  

I don't know. Do you go around calling your car your horseless carriage?

Your wife unit has evolved past its initial stage and should be referred to using the correct terminology as it says here on page 157 of Handbook for Husband LARPing.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 12:36 PM  

And in any case, I would never advise any white parents to ever consider adopting black children, even if they're the only ones available. White children only. Maybe Chinese or Korean girls... not boys, because they'd grow up suffering from the NOWAG handicap. But otherwise, only white kids.

We don't care.

Blogger Random August 11, 2015 12:39 PM  

Go around like Sarek in old Star Trek, holding his wife's hand by two extended fingers, and saying "this is she, who is my wife."

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 12:42 PM  

Your wife unit has evolved past its initial stage and should be referred to using the correct terminology as it says here on page 157 of Handbook for Husband LARPing

That's adorable.
Do you refer to your husband your groom with any frequency?

Blogger Brad Andrews August 11, 2015 12:44 PM  

@79 Corvinus,

I wouldn't advise adoption at all. Our children looked like they could have been born to us, but that didn't prevent them from heading back to a dysfunctional birth family as quickly as they could do so.

I just wanted to note the driving ideas are not always bad. The modern culture undermines things and that is the worst flaw.

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 12:44 PM  

I didn't read the rest of the story but I'm just guessing that it didn't end with the dude dumping the single mom, making some crazy bank, lifting and getting swole, and then banging two HB9s on alternate days.

But that's just a guess.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 12:45 PM  

No, I use other common pet names to refer to my husband. It has never been traditional for a woman to say "my groom". Meanwhile, old-school men still use the term "bride" to refer to their wives of 50 years. I know this from developing social relationships outside of the internet.

Are you married?

Anonymous Jack Amok August 11, 2015 12:45 PM  

I'm not crazy about "my bride" as it smacks a little too much of "m'lady" but it's a damn sight better than "the boss" or "my better half" or "my princess" (unless you are in fact the hereditary heir to a throne somewhere, in which case "princess" is fine.).

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 12:47 PM  

know this from developing social relationships outside of the internet.

Are you married?


TITS OR GTFO

Anonymous RedJack #22 August 11, 2015 12:48 PM  

My latest child was an exciting one. Water broke at 15 weeks, told we would lose her with in 48 hours. We spent 8 days in the hospital, in which there were daily ultrasounds watching the amniotic sack shrink. On day three, I saw her face (kind of funny the ghouls at PP say she is not a child at that point). Four months later, our little bear was born. She spent 60 days in the NICU letting her lungs get used to breathing since she was in very low fluid.

I call my bride my bride because she will always be my bride. We have been married for a decade (October of 2014). We have changed, but I would marry her today just like I did then. Hence, my bride.

If you don't like that, or think it makes me some sort of greek letter, so be it.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 12:50 PM  

I know this from developing social relationships outside of the internet

You do seem remarkably charming and a downright joy to be around, so, I believe that.

Are you married?

Yep.

Blogger Corvinus August 11, 2015 12:50 PM  

We don't care.

@81
In some respects, you're a complete bonehead. That's not the proper usage / context of "We don't care".

Blogger Sheep_dog August 11, 2015 12:53 PM  

My Dad was quite correct - "think with your big head, not the little one..."

Saved me from many a train wreck...

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 12:54 PM  

In some respects, you're a complete bonehead. That's not the proper usage / context of "We don't care".

We don't care.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 12:55 PM  

You do seem remarkably charming and a downright joy to be around, so, I believe that.

Why would I be charming to a maiden aunt who finger wags at grown men about how to properly refer to their wives?

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 12:59 PM  

If you don't like that, or think it makes me some sort of greek letter

I couldn't care less beyond making everything sound like it's stuck in an Edgar Alan Poe story.

Blogger David-093 August 11, 2015 1:03 PM  

This conversation has gotten really gay.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 1:04 PM  

Why would I be charming to a maiden aunt who finger wags at grown men about how to properly refer to their wives?

There's no use trying to sweet talk me.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 1:07 PM  

Bride is by definition a newlywed woman. When that's actually the opposite of what she is, I'm going to think you either a pompous fellow, or someone why is trying to suck up to her wife.

However, just like there are no crazy rich people, just eccentric ones, then if you have the social capital to be pompous, I'm going to just let you be pompous.

Blogger dc.sunsets August 11, 2015 1:08 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger JAY WILL August 11, 2015 1:20 PM  

I've blown money on women through thirst, never again. I'd rather be miserable on my own than be the wimpy guy I see pushing a pram around looking like there's a permanent rain cloud over his head. Not to say that pushing a pram around is necessarily weak but I got no intention of ever being a house nigga. I've seen em, "pick up some nappies dear". Does what he's told etc etc. She secretly likes knowing his balls are shrinking before her eyes. If she had his best interests at heart she'd at least encourage him to go out with "the lads" for a good sesh on the weekend, or anything where he can act like a man for a bit.

Hilariously we came back from pool on Sunday, one of the players said he couldn't make it cos he was working. We pass him coming home on the bus pushing his pram with his Mrs in tow! She prob gives him rows and shit like that lol. I've been thereish, problem with me is I bottle it up and pretend I'm ok then one day will just lose it. Very dangerous mental state, the gamma rage.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 1:20 PM  

Bride is by definition a newlywed woman. When that's actually the opposite of what she is, I'm going to think you either a pompous fellow, or someone why is trying to suck up to her wife.

Or it's just what the fucking guy calls her. My husband is not an infant but I still call him "babe".

beep boop you are not using the textbook definition of this word when applying it to a woman you've been married to past the appropriate point in time beep boop

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 1:22 PM  

Or it's just what the fucking guy calls her.

Yes; he calls her a pompous thing. If he accepts the fact that others are going to think it silly, then that is his call. But I am also entirely within my rights to think it silly, when that is in fact what I think.

Anonymous p-dawg August 11, 2015 1:28 PM  

Huckleberry, it's like my grandaddy used to tell me, "Son," he'd say, "there are only two ways to argue with a woman, and neither one of them works."

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 1:28 PM  

Or it's just what the fucking guy calls her

Someone's triggered.

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 1:33 PM  

beep boop you are not using the textbook definition of this word when applying it to a woman you've been married to past the appropriate point in time beep boop

Are you going all R2-D2 on us?

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 1:34 PM  

Autistic freaks trigger me. I've been surrounded by them all my life, being of the faggot Millenial generation. I'd also be triggered if my husband called me his "bride" but again, I've managed to figure out that some men refer to their wives differently than he does.

"Good sir, are you aware you've called your wife something which our most esteemed internet forum has deemed socially unacceptable by our elite inner circle? I will now proceed in my attempts to AMOG you so you know just how silly you are."

Blogger Brad Andrews August 11, 2015 1:35 PM  

Someone's triggered.

That is why you keep responding....

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 1:36 PM  

Making your husband a sandwich will help soothe your triggered nerves.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 1:38 PM  

Are you going all R2-D2 on us?

No, I'm mocking nerds who think social relations are similar to programming.

Markku, my husband doesn't like sandwiches, so now I'm triggered again.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 1:38 PM  

Autistic freaks trigger me. I've been surrounded by them all my life, being of the faggot Millenial generation. I'd also be triggered if my husband called me his "bride"

Perhaps you should go back to Tumblr?

Anonymous Stg58 / Animal Mother #225 August 11, 2015 1:39 PM  

Blowjob is also equally palliative.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 1:39 PM  

People...please...the correct term is sammiches...

Carry on.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 1:39 PM  

Blowjob is also equally palliative.

Perhaps her husband doesn't like to receive blowjobs...

Anonymous Stg58 / Animal Mother #225 August 11, 2015 1:40 PM  

Is her husband really a husband in that case?

Anonymous Stg58 / Animal Mother #225 August 11, 2015 1:41 PM  

Beep boop...husband does not like sandwiches or blowjobs...beep boop...does not compute...illogical...BSODDDDDD

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 1:42 PM  

husband does not like ... blowjobs

Some things really DON'T compute.

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 1:43 PM  

People...please...the correct term is sammiches...

Heathen. It's sangwiches.

Anonymous Anonymous August 11, 2015 1:43 PM  

As a gamma (working on delta) I do not find 1the story unrealistic at all.

Personally I often fooled myself into thinking my "save a ho" was done without ulterior motives only to be utterly freaked out when "a Ho" went to sleep with the "Bad guy". There's was also a subconscious idea that I was the "only Hope" for "a Ho" and this attitude would somehow often result in a bad case of Oneitis.

/Not4u2Judge

Blogger David-093 August 11, 2015 1:45 PM  

"Perhaps her husband doesn't like to receive blowjobs..."

I don't understand what you're saying here.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 1:47 PM  

Perhaps you should go back to Tumblr?

Too much gay porn.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 1:48 PM  

"Husband doesn't like blowjobs"

"How much does the color yellow weigh?"

It is syntactically correct English, but the information content is conceptually nonsensical.

Blogger Midnight Avenue J August 11, 2015 1:49 PM  

Unrealistic...I can believe it happened, considering, as BGS says, some people are addicted to drama. I've seen similar situations in my life, guys and girls always falling for some piece of Bad News thinking they could be the magical one who saves or makes the Bad News change. That only happens in bad rom coms or Nicholas Sparks novels, I guess.

I'm put off by the way Donovan almost revels in the part he played in his personal drama. Fool me once, fool me twice. Thrice? He's lost, maybe. He's certainly a fool and an idiot and can't break out of the patterns in which he's stuck. Telling his story might be the way he pays it forward, to save some other guy the pain.

But it sounds like soap opera overall, and even some amount of wallowing.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 1:53 PM  

That is why you keep responding

I'm just killing some time, and y'all are making this too much fun.

Autistic freaks trigger me

At this point it's a safe wager that the list of your triggers far outpaces your list of safe spaces.

my husband doesn't like sandwiches

That's convenient.

Blogger Cail Corishev August 11, 2015 1:56 PM  

"The plan was for about a year from beginning the courtship to marriage."

Well, whose "plan" was it?


Theirs, with the blessing of their parents, though of course they may have been telling people what they wanted to hear. To Brad: most people consider a year-long dating/engagement to be unconscionably quick, especially for 18-19-year-olds. I don't, but in this case, they wanted to both finish school and save a bit of money, so it seemed reasonable.

Jack, I think you put your finger on part of the problem without knowing them: the dad has always been quick to fix problems for his kids. This boy has been told all the right things, but he hasn't had to learn much by hard knocks. Like many of us from the last couple generations, he wasn't punched in the face and knocked down nearly enough growing up.

Maybe I'll have something more encouraging for the father next time we talk. He has several more kids coming up, and now he's wondering if they're all going to go the same way.

Blogger David-093 August 11, 2015 2:01 PM  

QUIT BEING MEAN TO MARISSA! YOU LOSERS WANNA FIGHT?!?!

/whiteknight /sucking up

Blogger Cail Corishev August 11, 2015 2:02 PM  

I'm not talking about Brad here; but I've heard people talk like adopting a kid, especially a "needy" one, means the kid will love you for the rest of his life in appreciation. One guy said it in pretty much those words, in fact. So that same "I'll save him/her and he/she will love me for it" attitude does exist in adoption as in dating, though I have no idea how common it is.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 2:06 PM  

At this point it's a safe wager that the list of your triggers far outpaces your list of safe spaces.

This place is a safe space when you're not sperging out over how a guy refers to his wife. If you can't see how queer that is, I can't help you.

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 2:08 PM  

Who bitch this is?

Blogger rho August 11, 2015 2:08 PM  

Men, to avoid this unpleasantness in the future, please refer to your spouse as "Sperm Containment Unit."

Blogger LP 999/Eliza August 11, 2015 2:08 PM  

No, dont save her, dont help her.

Me? Dont interfere, let me go, I reject help.

It is my own responsibility to turn things around if they dont turn around, oh well, so well.

Anonymous Stg58 / Animal Mother #225 August 11, 2015 2:10 PM  

Marissa,

No one ever fucks with you? We're just spinning you round and round and round. Never gets old.

Blogger LP 999/Eliza August 11, 2015 2:11 PM  

Whiteknighting is another term for the theft/abuse of men who $imply do not under$tand what they are getting into!

Save your money for the better woman or the more normal situation.

Forgive me, who was I to say, not to help her? I've seen enough men (via online stories) injure themselves doing so.

Blogger LP 999/Eliza August 11, 2015 2:12 PM  

Denying your husbands needs behind closed doors is a sin.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 2:14 PM  

No one ever fucks with you? We're just spinning you round and round and round. Never gets old.

......What?!

Anonymous BGS August 11, 2015 2:15 PM  

We pass him coming home on the bus pushing his pram with his Mrs in tow! She prob gives him rows and shit

If you think wives hate David over his gardening book you should see how they treat the gay friend that brought up pre-nups before they got married.

Fool me once, fool me twice. Thrice? Fool me 25ths starts to demonstrate a pattern.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 2:17 PM  

......What?!

Something certainly needs to be blown right now, but it isn't your mind.

Blogger Marissa August 11, 2015 2:25 PM  

Something certainly needs to be blown right now, but it isn't your mind.

That was already settled @47.

Anonymous RedJack #22 August 11, 2015 2:26 PM  

I find it interesting that calling my wife "My bride" (which is what my Grandfather called Grandma to the day he died) has attracted so much attention. It is a pattern I fell into because of him, and honestly something I have never really thought about. Just like hating the Swedes and drinking rye whiskey.

My other name for her is Sugar Nipples, but that is not considered polite in public.

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 2:30 PM  

You calling your wife your "bride" is like the wasp in the locomotive; it may have been what started the trainwreck, but it's the least interesting aspect of it.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 2:48 PM  

...

why are we talking about this again?

It was a stupid comment.

Why are we following up a stupid comment with 100 more stupid comments?

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 2:50 PM  

Why are we following up a stupid comment with 100 more stupid comments?

It's what we do?

Blogger Markku August 11, 2015 2:50 PM  

Why does the train wreck?

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 2:51 PM  

Why does the train wreck?

Lack of blowjobs and/or sammiches.

Or the train is fine.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 2:56 PM  

This place is a safe space when you're not sperging out over how a guy refers to his wife

Conversely, this place is a fun space when you're projecting your own deficiencies onto someone else over a comment that had nothing to do with you.
Spin, baby, spin.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 11, 2015 3:00 PM  

Why are we following up a stupid comment with 100 more stupid comments?

Because it's not football season quite yet.

Blogger LP 999/Eliza August 11, 2015 3:07 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous Michael Maier August 11, 2015 3:09 PM  

rho August 11, 2015 2:08 PM Men, to avoid this unpleasantness in the future, please refer to your spouse as "Sperm Containment Unit."

I would prefer "Semen Containment Unit" myself. Or "Cum Receptacle".

RedJack #22 August 11, 2015 2:26 PM .... something I have never really thought about. Just like hating the Swedes and drinking rye whiskey.

Why do those two things seem 100% incongruous?

Anonymous ZenMaster 2000 as seen on TV August 11, 2015 3:10 PM  

Why does the train wreck?


What is the sound of one train wrecking?

Anonymous Bobby August 11, 2015 3:22 PM  

I know: I reckon Glock makes the best hand guns for personal defense

(sits back and waits...)

Blogger Brad Andrews August 11, 2015 3:34 PM  

We could talk about the stupid high level guy that interrupted my mission in Destiny instead Nate. Killed by the game carrying out a low level quest.

What is the sound of one train wrecking?

Does a wrecking train make a sound if no one is paying attention?

Blogger Brad Andrews August 11, 2015 3:34 PM  

We could talk about the stupid high level guy that interrupted my mission in Destiny instead Nate. Killed by the game carrying out a low level quest.

What is the sound of one train wrecking?

Does a wrecking train make a sound if no one is paying attention?

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 3:37 PM  

"We could talk about the stupid high level guy that interrupted my mission in Destiny instead Nate. Killed by the game carrying out a low level quest."

hehehe

brad... one of the coolest things about Destiny...is that you never know what other people are doing... sometimes I go sit on the moon and watch people accidently drive their sparrows off cliffs... never gets old.

sometimes I go hang out on venus and help guys open the Vault of Glass... Sometimes we just have badass sparrow races all over the place.

at least once... me and a bunch of guys set up a giant laser light dance party.

Blogger VD August 11, 2015 4:04 PM  


at least once... me and a bunch of guys set up a giant laser light dance party.


Gay. With a gay sauce and a garnish of gay.

Blogger M Cephas August 11, 2015 4:12 PM  

I was sort of in this type of situation once before. I never actually spent any money on the girl, or bought her a house, or even had her stay with me, rent free. She was not necessarily a practicing slut when I met her, but would probably be considered one from the age of 15-17, where she apparently slept with about 20 men during that time. But after that two year phase she was in a long term committed relationship for 11 years, that ended before I met her.

Basically, I wanted to save her. She and I were both atheists, though I, more of an agnostic. I came to believe in Christianity after a couple of years of knowing her. I wanted to make her my wife, have kids with her, and wanted her to believe in God, as I now did.

I thought belief in God, aside from saving her from Hell, would also make her a better person, as well as a happier person.

My lust for her made me ignore a lot of things that would normally be deal breakers. Like the fact that she worked as a sex phone operator in the past. That she was a complete leftist regardless of the facts I would share with her. I thought I could change her though, and was blinded by her alluring vagina.

It was actually an argument about the inappropriateness of teaching children that gender was a social construct, and teaching children about homosexual sex, that finally snapped me out of the the witch's spell that was placed over me. She thought it would be perfectly fine to teach my future son or daughter, that it would be okay if they wanted to dress as the opposite gender, and to teach them about homosexual sex at an early age.

That was a deal breaker. The thought that she was so entrenched in her ideology, that she would harm our future children, made me not only get over her, but caused me to feel a disgust for her I would not have thought possible.

I was in a state where my lust for her had faded. Her ugliness became abundantly clear, and she repulsed me. I realized how much I was willing to look past because of how much I wanted to sleep with her.

Of course, I stopped interacting with her, after letting her know that she was not only stupid, but an immoral human being.

After a night out, I noticed so many more girls that were younger, and more attractive than her. I felt as though God wanted me to see that, to rub in how stupid I was in my obsession over the immoral witch. She wasn't anywhere near as attractive as my hormones had made her out to be.

She's currently committing adultery by sleeping with a man who is married to another woman.

She is definitely going to remain childless, unmarried, and the owner of multiple cats.

There, I shared my great shame. My "captain save a ho" story.

Anonymous ThirdMonkey August 11, 2015 4:29 PM  

There for awhile, the deacons at my church were Captain Save a Hos. I even foolishly did it once myself. We were falling over one another to help some predatory single mom by paying her bills, mowing her lawn, or gassing up her car (always on a Friday afternoon). Once the "help" stops, they quit coming around. Or there's the emails that get sent around trying to recruit us to help poor so-and-so move out of her abusive husband's house while he's away for a few days working. I always ask if they will help her move back in when they get back together, because she always does.

Anonymous Luke August 11, 2015 4:51 PM  

113. Josh August 11, 2015 1:39 PM

"Blowjob is also equally palliative."

"Perhaps her husband doesn't like to receive blowjobs..."

He'd rather give them, then?
Where I come from, we call a guy like that a "faggot".

Blogger M Cephas August 11, 2015 5:08 PM  

@156. Luke

Um....I'm pretty sure homosexuals like receiving blowjobs.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 6:00 PM  

Tell me more about gay dance parties captain techno band

Blogger Allan Davis August 11, 2015 6:28 PM  

M Cephas, congrats, you are a better man than I am...you recognized it before getting hooked.

I had the full-on white knight syndrome going on, got hooked, trapped, caged, and more. Dealt with the tantrums, screaming, suicide attempts, and worse, for a lot longer than I would care to admit, before finally waking up and kicking her out. I'm one of those rare guys that actually won full custody of two kids in the divorce, if that gives any clue.

-=ad=-

Blogger Groot August 11, 2015 6:35 PM  

@129. rho:
"Men, to avoid this unpleasantness in the future, please refer to your spouse as 'Sperm Containment Unit.'"

Depending on how the night is proceding, this could be either the husband or the wife.

@86. Marissa August 11, 2015 12:45 PM
"I know this from developing social relationships outside of the internet. Are you married?
LOL #1

131. Stg58 / Animal Mother #225:
"No one ever fucks with you? We're just spinning you round and round and round. Never gets old."

I don't know. She's tossing 'em back pretty well, for a chick.

@141. Josh:
"Why are we following up a stupid comment with 100 more stupid comments?

"It's what we do?"

LOL #2

@157. M Cephas:
"Um....I'm pretty sure homosexuals like receiving blowjobs."

Zing! Snark fail. LOL #3

Anonymous hausfrau August 11, 2015 6:45 PM  

"I've only known a couple men who could use the term "my bride" unironically."

"My husband refers to me using this all the time."

My husband call's me "child bride" sometimes because of the age difference. It's funny and affectionate. What's the problem?

Blogger Josh August 11, 2015 7:04 PM  

Tell me more about gay dance parties captain techno band

Is it still gay if the lasers are from fricking heads of fricking sharks?

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 7:16 PM  

When the lasers are space magic and freaking guns its not gay

Blogger Danby August 11, 2015 7:51 PM  

My pet name for my wife is "unit of espousement." Does that make me gamma? Or just a Sperg?

Blogger automatthew August 11, 2015 8:15 PM  

Danby: It's too wordy, and the meter's all off.

Blogger rycamor August 11, 2015 8:16 PM  

129. rho August 11, 2015 2:08 PM

Men, to avoid this unpleasantness in the future, please refer to your spouse as "Sperm Containment Unit."


But this is not exactly right, because due to metabolic processes the sperm is not really contained more than a few hours. Ergo to be using such a metaphor makes me suspect you are an extremely pompous person.

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 8:20 PM  

My pet name for my wife is "unit of espousement." Does that make me gamma? Or just a Sperg?

I don't know cuz I have no idea what any of those words mean.

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 8:22 PM  

Why are we following up a stupid comment with 100 more stupid comments?

Don't we always?

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 8:23 PM  

Btw, I'm drinking Manhattans tonight. Does that make me gay?

Anonymous Cheech And Chong Found God August 11, 2015 8:29 PM  

"I wonder how much overlap there is between being Captain Save-a-Ho and adopting black kids. Same basic mentality, if you think about it."

After thinking about it, there is no overlap. Adopting is God's work.

"And in any case, I would never advise any white parents to ever consider adopting black children, even if they're the only ones available. White children only. Maybe Chinese or Korean girls... not boys, because they'd grow up suffering from the NOWAG handicap. But otherwise, only white kids."

And you have the audacity to call yourself a Christian, Corvinus.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2015 8:32 PM  

"Btw, I'm drinking Manhattans tonight. Does that make me gay?"

no... but it means we're going to call you gay.

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 8:42 PM  

After thinking about it, there is no overlap. Adopting is God's work.

Even I'm not drunk enough to believe that bullshit.

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 8:43 PM  

no... but it means we're going to call you gay

Heh heh... fair enough.

Blogger Harsh August 11, 2015 8:45 PM  

And just to elaborate, Mr. Cheech and Chong, nowhere does Christ say, "Destroy yourself."

Anonymous Godfrey August 11, 2015 9:11 PM  

If you're going to help someone, don't do it expecting something in return. And if you're going to help a woman like this, expect to be taken.

Anonymous Stg58 / Animal Mother #225 August 11, 2015 9:13 PM  

Hausfrau,

My dad referred to himself as a "cradle robber". He referred to my mom as "Love Priestess". I refer to my wife as a "mail order bride".

Anonymous Godfrey August 11, 2015 9:20 PM  

To all the young guys out there. In case you didn't know it, there are basically two kinds of women out there. There are those women you marry and with whom you have a family and there are those women you don't. If you haven't figured out the difference yet, than you better start.

Anonymous Donn #0114 August 11, 2015 9:23 PM  

Nate - Good/decent mid/low priced bourbon? Something for over rocks not neat. Maybe a mixer.

Anonymous Godfrey August 11, 2015 9:44 PM  

If you're seriously interested in a woman, always... always observe her relationship with her parents and especially her relationship with her father. Who want a woman from a stable normal family.

Blogger Groot August 11, 2015 10:32 PM  

So I just had an early drink, for complicated reasons, and I notice this site now reads so much more smoothly.

Now, no disrespect, @76. dc.sunsets, but regarding "finding and staying on Happiness Path", you say that "casual sex most certainly is... a vice," I'm going to pick a little fight. With hindsight, decades of happy marriage, and multiple offspring, I'm going to unrecommend your stance. Many, many years of (pre-Internet) club-hopping yielded enormous fun, immense confidence-building, satiety of curiosity, and true appreciation for my current connubial situation. Sow some oats, then settle down. It just relieves frustration.

Anonymous Jack Amok August 11, 2015 11:37 PM  

I have to speak out against this "make him a sandwich" nonsense. Sandwiches (or sammiches) are made with bread, and bread has way more carbs than any guy needs. He should be getting most of his carbs from beer, wine and hooch, not hoagie rolls.

Make the guy a bacon-wrapped, cheese-stuffed hotdog instead.

Anonymous Takin' a look August 11, 2015 11:37 PM  

My Bride....

Yes, nice to know.Cute way of calling your wife.

I shrug and don't care about the semantics. I call my gal my wife. To each their own and if it makes me chuckle, thank you.

Anonymous Takin' a look August 11, 2015 11:39 PM  

(Grins)

Anonymous BGS August 11, 2015 11:47 PM  

"Btw, I'm drinking Manhattans tonight. Does that make me gay?"

I don't even drink them

Anonymous BGS August 11, 2015 11:53 PM  

at least once... me and a bunch of guys set up a giant laser light dance party.

Are you Glocklover420 by chance?

Blogger Groot August 12, 2015 12:35 AM  

@183. Takin' a look:
"(Grins)"

I know it's impressive, but if you keep staring, you're going to have to join Nate and his giant laser light dance party.

Anonymous Jack Amok August 12, 2015 12:51 AM  

Jack, I think you put your finger on part of the problem without knowing them

I don't know them, but I know a lot of people who make that same mistake and I see results similar to what you've described. Hell, I'm pretty sure I've made that exact mistake this very summer with my own son and some study habit problems of his. Easy to do.

Hard to know the exact situation for your friends, but if the kids are really mostly decent and are just struggling with new-found decision making power, they'll be okay in the end if their parents will treat them like adults with a right to run their own lives. Continuing attempts to control them will probably just provoke more counter-dependant behavior and make things worse. I'd suggest to the dad he should ask more questions and make fewer statements. And not obviously jackass or rhetorical questions either, but honest ones that give his son a chance to think about the answers.

And if they're not fundamentally decent kids, trying to keep them under the thumb isn't going to work anyway, so there's really no downside to letting go.

Maybe steer the dad towards a copy of A Fine Young Man for the younger kids.

Best of luck to them.

Anonymous Jack Amok August 12, 2015 12:53 AM  

When the lasers are space magic and freaking guns its not gay

If you invited Big Gay Steve, then it would be gay.

If you didn't invite Big Gay Steve, it would be ghey.

Blogger Groot August 12, 2015 2:06 AM  

@187. Jack Amok:
"And if they're not fundamentally decent kids, trying to keep them under the thumb isn't going to work anyway, so there's really no downside to letting go."

This is the danger in my line of trees, and Jack speaks wisdom. Tall, smart, beautiful assholes is a dangerous but natural course the river takes, and teaching them is a perpetual course in learning the hard way. Pain singes even the bullet-proof, and, even though it's one's own offspring, reality always wins, you glorious bastards and bastardettes. Holy quacamole, I love you, but does it always have to be so hard?

Blogger Cail Corishev August 12, 2015 8:38 AM  

Best of luck to them.

Thanks, Jack.

Blogger rho August 12, 2015 9:39 AM  

But this is not exactly right, because due to metabolic processes the sperm is not really contained more than a few hours. Ergo to be using such a metaphor makes me suspect you are an extremely pompous person.

"Sperm Processing Unit."

Anonymous Cuca Culpa August 12, 2015 1:05 PM  

@47


Medical experts agree: lead is a top cure for autism.


As does Andre the Giant.

Anonymous Cuca Culpa August 12, 2015 1:22 PM  

"Oh, you're a single mother? Sorry, I gave at the office. It's called FICA.

Anonymous Takin' a look August 12, 2015 2:23 PM  

Hehe, no, it was Jack Amok's statement on carbs that made me chuckle.

Blogger Groot August 13, 2015 3:06 AM  

@181. Jack Amok:
"I have to speak out against this 'make him a sandwich' nonsense."

No beer, very little wine, and hooch has no carbs. But you're missing the point, my aspie friend. They want to help. They can help. They are made to help. Do not miss this key point: Ladies are nice. Even if you're ugly, and small, and ... other things you're afflicted with. You guys are so thick, I'm tempted to give up.

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