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Monday, August 10, 2015

My ideal 2016 presidential candidate

At first, I thought Carly Fiorina's campaign for the presidency was a joke. I mean, here is a woman who is one of corporate America's most epic failures, a laughingstock and byword for disaster throughout the entire tech sector. But then I realized, what if she can do for the federal payroll what she did for the payrolls of Compaq and Hewlett Packard? And considering the way in which the federal government is increasingly targeting Americans, don't we want a woman whose ineptitude is legendary to be running things?

Let's face it, the Obama administration has delivered, and then some, in the comedy department. The way in which Jewish Democrats are going berserk is only the most recent amusement it has provided. Since my primary interest in a U.S. president is the comedic value of his administration (none of the candidates are even talking about addressing the three relevant issues, Repatriation, Repudiating debt, and Restoring national sovereignty, so we might as well look for some entertainment out of them), my preferences are as follows:
  1. Carly Fiorina: She's clearly the candidate most likely to accidentally declare war on Japan and Belgium, then downsize Health and Human Services.
  2. Joe Biden: He's like the Prince Philip of America, always good for a totally inappropriate comment.
  3. Hilary Clinton: Between the financial corruption and the lesbianism, I think the comedy value would make her boring, flat-toned speeches bearable. Let's not forget the potential that First Lady Bill would offer.
  4. Donald Trump: My concern is that as a successful businessman, he might actually take the job seriously and end up selling off New Mexico, California, and Nevada to a Chinese-Mexican consortium to get rid of the federal deficit.
  5. Chris Christie. President Fat Bastard would be briefly hilarious, but too reliant on the visual aspects of comedy to remain funny for long. 
Seriously, there isn't a single declared candidate who is going to delay the collapse for so much as a month, so don't be looking to any of them for salvation. It just isn't in the cards, at least not through the U.S. electoral system. At this point, there is nothing more to do than wait to see if it will be the American Caesar or the Hispanic Alaric.

Labels:

148 Comments:

Anonymous Lulabelle (68) August 10, 2015 12:06 PM  

"end up selling off New Mexico, California, and Nevada to a Chinese-Mexican consortium to get rid of the federal deficit."

That's genius. Could we throw NYC and Miami into the mix?

Anonymous Nemo Maximus August 10, 2015 12:11 PM  

Donald Trump = Zaphod Babelbrox = Rob Ford

That is all.

Anonymous Soga August 10, 2015 12:14 PM  

I certainly don't see anything wrong with selling certain leftist/SJW infested states like California, New York, Massachusetts, and Florida to ruthlessly authoritarian Chinese-Mexican overlords that would keep the people fenced in. And out.

Anonymous Michael Maier August 10, 2015 12:14 PM  

THAT'S who she is. The last week or so, I'd see her name and think "I should know who this broad is..."

This really is the country of second chances... and third... and ad nauseum...

Blogger haus frau August 10, 2015 12:15 PM  

Joe Biden is the creepy uncle who always hugs his nieces and lady in-laws a little too long. Bill Clinton is nasty, but he still managed to be nasty in a charming fashion. Joe is just Pedobear skeevy. I still get the creepy crawlies from these pics.
http://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2015/02/19/its-time-for-a-national-conversation-about-joe-bidens-creepy-hands-n1959404

Blogger RobertT August 10, 2015 12:17 PM  

we might as well look for some entertainment out of them

finally a good use for politics

but how about bernie sanders? he's not quite as interesting as trump, but just knowing he's out there drawing huge crowds makes me chuckle

Anonymous Geoff August 10, 2015 12:19 PM  

Nemo, there are indeed some similarities between Rob Ford and Trump, especially in terms of their populism. But Rob Ford is way more conservative and politically incorrect than Trump. I don't see the Trumpster smoking crack or banning the Gay Flag.

Blogger dc.sunsets August 10, 2015 12:20 PM  

Didn't GWB run a few businesses into the ground? Nothing as flashy as HP, and not half as memorably as Charles "as long as the music's playing we have to get up and dance" Prince's epic fail at Citigroup, but still....

All we know is that no one who cannot be controlled will ever obtain such power while avoiding an unexpected and early date with the Grim Reaper. Far too many oxen in line for goring otherwise.

Blogger Cataline Sergius August 10, 2015 12:20 PM  

Why isn't Ellen Pao running?

She's free now.

Anonymous Porky August 10, 2015 12:22 PM  

Tha Vill-aaaa-ges....Flor-i-da's friend-li-est home-town! ♫

Blogger Joshua Dyal August 10, 2015 12:25 PM  

@3: Much of California is both beautiful and useful. I think we could get a good enough deal for simply the counties around San Francisco, LA, Portland and Seattle to retire most of the debt, and as an upside, without them, California, Oregon and Washington return to being reliable red states.

Blogger hank.jim August 10, 2015 12:29 PM  

Whoever owns our debt is already the sucker. We won't ever sell anything to fix the deficit. The deficit won't be fixed. It is always papered over.

Hillary' doesn't do speeches that anyone listens to without paying a whole lot and it's only to buy access.

Anonymous BGS August 10, 2015 12:30 PM  

Didn't GWB run a few businesses into the ground? Nothing as flashy as HP

Just oil businesses in Texas, but its not like the state is known for oil.

Why isn't Ellen Pao running? If she loses she can sue the US for discriminating against her.

deal for simply the counties around San Francisco, LA, Portland and Seattle to retire most of the debt

You would have to stop the free stuff army from leaving.

Blogger IM2L844 August 10, 2015 12:32 PM  

"but how about bernie sanders?"

Yeah, learning, this morning, that he was shouted down and had his Seattle rally co-opted by the "Black Lives Matter" movement was pure comedy gold.

Blogger Elocutioner #0226 August 10, 2015 12:33 PM  

No no no no no! Don't sell the cities - just the liberals. They will be overjoyed to celebrate increased diversity and their escape from the guilt of being privilege in this evil misogynists' anglo patriarchy. Even better - THEY will be the new diversity! How awesome is that? They wouldn't even have to do any more voluntary marching or hunger strikes! Everybody gets what they deserve out of this deal.

Blogger Justin C August 10, 2015 12:33 PM  

Soga

"I certainly don't see anything wrong with selling certain leftist/SJW infested states like California, New York, Massachusetts, and Florida to ruthlessly authoritarian Chinese-Mexican overlords that would keep the people fenced in. And out."

Hey some of us are biding our time and hoarding our resources to GTFO of Dodge

Blogger David-093 August 10, 2015 12:34 PM  

Trump-Coulter, with Biden as press secretary/campaign spokesman.

Anonymous Ain August 10, 2015 12:35 PM  

Local governments will and already have.

Anonymous Porky August 10, 2015 12:36 PM  

selling off New Mexico, California, and Nevada to a Chinese-Mexican consortium

I, for one, would welcome our new Chinese overlords over the current leadership.

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents August 10, 2015 12:39 PM  

Was talking to a life long Republican yesterday, guy who got re-elected at the state legislative level a few times. He thought Fiorina sounded smart in the FNC debate. I laughed. Then I told him a couple of stories that buddies of mine at HP had passed on from the inside, concluded with the spontaneous cheers and bursts of song ("Ding, Dong, The Witch Is Dead") that bounced around HP sites the day Fiorina left, and concluded by suggesting that running a multinational corporation nearly into the ground wasn't a real good resume item. Being 2nd generation family business owner, he sort of got that. But he didn't seem to get the fact that a lot of people who gritted their teeth to vote for Poppy in 1992, and GW in 2000 and 2004, are all done with the Bush clan. All. Done.

Now, this guy isn't a big time donor. He's in the $1500 range. But he still furrowed his brow over the idea that people could be fed up with the Bushes, so fed up that they'll go fishing on election day if the choice is between another Bush and another Clinton. He didn't seem to understand that.

I think that the Dems better be more careful with the VP choice if Hillary! gets the nomination, because she doesn't look good at all, healthwise. That fall and concussion (not a stroke! No! NOT A STROKE!) a few years back seems to have been more serious than we were told.

Anonymous Nemo Maximus August 10, 2015 12:40 PM  

@7 Geoff

From the Guide:

"The President [or the mayor] is very much a figurehead - he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it."

It is a mere coincidence, and not at all due to the operation of any sort of probability field, that Zaphod is the semi-cousin of Prefect Rob Ford, I mean Ford Prefect.

Anonymous TLM August 10, 2015 12:40 PM  

I seem to recall that investors were terrified after finding out that the only thing holding HP together under Fiorina was its ink sales.

Anonymous Huckleberry August 10, 2015 12:43 PM  

there isn't a single declared candidate who is going to delay the collapse for so much as a month

Should delay be encouraged if collapse is a done deal?
Personally, if the ship is sinking, let's get on with it.
The band can play on, but it better be up-tempo as all Hell.
All this maudlin crap about making America great again; that chance came and went decades ago. The Point of No Return is well behind us, and all that's left is the morality play where the can gets kicked down the road just far enough for the brigands and bagmen to make their getaway.
Everything else is just tumbling about the deck furniture.

Blogger Elocutioner #0226 August 10, 2015 12:44 PM  

"Biden as press secretary/campaign spokesman"

I'd go more the snarky bastard route for the spokesman and a cruelty artist for communications director.

"Aaaand the Magic 8 ball says 'No, that was a retarded question only a retard would ask.' So, any more moronic questions from the Joan Rivers section? No? Good. Oh, great, we got one from the Connie Chung section. This ought to be deep. No, really, ask your question. I insist. Don't be shy, the country is watching."

People might actually watch the pressers for a change and we'd actually get some intelligent questions.

Blogger Natalie Golovin August 10, 2015 12:44 PM  

Kasich isn't that bad-Good hands on manager- Can buy us time. He's back-tracking on bill to end anchor babies- that he submitted it in the 1st place is revealing. 4-8 more years of Hillary/Biden or Sanders makes me nauseous. Better to stop the bleeding- retrench & grow for future battles. Don't see benefit of welcoming collapse if not ready to take advantage of it-and we're not ready yet.

Blogger Sad Puppy August 10, 2015 12:50 PM  

@17

In honor of diversity, I think that the press secretary should be a tag-team of those two black girls who are jumping Megan Kelly over the debate.

Blogger JartStar August 10, 2015 12:54 PM  

It is frustrating to have conservative friends and family take all of this so seriously, like Jeb or any of the other candidates can fix it, but at the same time it's cheap and easy to use that as an excuse not to do what you can locally. Making your household, church, and local community a little better place when you can isn't selling out or being a "sheeple".

Blogger VD August 10, 2015 12:55 PM  

Can buy us time.

For what? Trillions more in debt and millions more alien invaders?

Anonymous zen0 August 10, 2015 12:57 PM  

> Joe Biden: He's like the Prince Philip of America, always good for a totally inappropriate comment.

Now you have made me want the Queen to retire, so that Joe Biden could be the American figurehead while Prince Phil was the British.

Just the thought that one could wake up every day for years with that being the reality fills me with hope for the future. It would be like the time King Edward VII and Kaiser Wilhelm II were rattling around Europe like a vaudeville team. Good times.

It would be a Monty Python reality show.

Anonymous Curious August 10, 2015 12:57 PM  

That fall and concussion (not a stroke! No! NOT A STROKE!) a few years back seems to have been more serious than we were told.

They could always go for Weekend at Bernie's for three years. She would probably look better embalmed anyway.

Anonymous patrick kelly August 10, 2015 1:00 PM  

so fed up that they'll go fishing on election day if the choice is between another Bush and another Clinton."

This is the answer to the "what good does not voting do?" question. Someone gets to spend the time doing something more important.......

Anonymous Karl Rove August 10, 2015 1:02 PM  

Kasich isn't that bad-

Yes, many of the donors agree, and the possibility of a Kasich-Graham ticket is being considered as an alternative to Jeb Bush. Republicans are all about losing gracefully, you know, gracefully and with style.

Actually winning is so common, so plebian. We don't do that anymore.

Anonymous Donn #0114 August 10, 2015 1:05 PM  

Don't forget Christie rolled his eyes and his body language said, 'Fuck the Constitution' when Rand told him that there should be warrants with judges signing them. He would be a nice Himmler to whomever is the shadow-boss.

Blogger Justin C August 10, 2015 1:07 PM  

Im sure there is still plenty of potential, Trump or no Trump, for the republicans to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. But like VD says, why should we elect a republican "to buy us time" to get invaded more and indebted more. Im ready to vote Democrat just to run this fucker into the ground as quick as we can. Im 32 so I'd like to get it over with already, although I'm not nearly as ready a I'd like to be

Anonymous Donn #0114 August 10, 2015 1:09 PM  

Give them LA and Orange County in exchange for settling the debt. Mexico get's El Paso so the illegals don't have to get their feet wet. First we wall off El Paso.

Blogger Cail Corishev August 10, 2015 1:14 PM  

"Oh, great, we got one from the Connie Chung section. This ought to be deep."

During last NBA season, a couple coaches reacted pretty much that way to stupid questions from sports reporterettes. (The questions really were stupid, and made them sound like they didn't even know what sport they were covering, so they asked something generic like, "What do you need to do better next time?")

The white knights came out to defend them, naturally; but it made me wonder if reporterettes have been getting dumber, or if their male colleagues have stopped writing their questions for them, because I'd never heard that kind of reaction before. Maybe the coaches are just getting tired of women being pushed on them.

Speaking of which: can't wait to see an Arizona game this year, so we can hear about how great it is that they hired a female coach. Oh, wait, that was just for preseason. Sigh. Maybe next year.

Anonymous Geoff August 10, 2015 1:16 PM  

@21

"It is a mere coincidence, and not at all due to the operation of any sort of probability field, that Zaphod is the semi-cousin of Prefect Rob Ford, I mean Ford Prefect."

Great catch, Nemo. You are the Guide Master.

Blogger Cogitans Iuvenis August 10, 2015 1:18 PM  

@ OP

Your last sentence echoes my fears, and expectations, perfectly.

@20

It will be interesting to see what would happen to sales of certain "prepper" items if either Bush or Clinton is elected. The fact that Jeb is even running, or cocurrently that Trump is polling well, is pretty damning of the GOP leadership writ large. Firstly because you'd think they would realize that the GOP isn't keen on another Bush, and their lukewarm reception to Romney last go around. Secondly, because while I certainly don't take Trump seriously as a candidate, the GOP doesn't seem willing to see that the man has a struck a cord with many conservative republicans especially in the regards to his unwillingness to apologize for what he has said.

Blogger Josh August 10, 2015 1:21 PM  

President Biden would be glorious.

Anonymous praetorian August 10, 2015 1:29 PM  

GUYS, GUYS.

Look, I know Nate and Josh hate Trump, but I've solved this problem: we need a solid conservative, self-made man for VP that will keep his liberal tendencies in check, with force if necessary.

I give you:

http://i.imgur.com/Le49BKa.png

Let's get this party started...

Blogger Guitar Man August 10, 2015 1:36 PM  

Ilk likes Trump now?

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents August 10, 2015 1:38 PM  

The collapse of the US will surely include more and more anarcho-tyranny. Here's this week's example, a nasty mine-dump spill that should send the EPA onto high alert in search of the culprits. Scratch one trout river.

http://news.investors.com/blogs-capital-hill/080715-765623-epa-causes-massive-pollution-of-colorado-river.htm

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents August 10, 2015 1:40 PM  

Forgot to embed:
EPA pollutes Colorado river

Anonymous Viidad August 10, 2015 1:41 PM  

Huckabee cracks a good joke now and again, for a big gov't guy.

And hey... leave Florida alone. Just let things collapse so we can dig a trench just north of Orlando and let the bottom part adrift.

Blogger Dexter August 10, 2015 1:42 PM  

Donald Trump: My concern is that as a successful businessman, he might actually take the job seriously and end up selling off New Mexico, California, and Nevada to a Chinese-Mexican consortium to get rid of the federal deficit.

Selling all that shit doesn't help, because even if the debt is zeroed, then tomorrow morning all the welfare queens still have their hands out so you haven't solved the problem.

Get rid of the useless eaters, keep the prime real estate.

Anonymous KBT August 10, 2015 1:46 PM  

Ha ha! I'm in the same place. Pick the candidate with the most comedy potential. Trump wins there, but for the comedy in the political class with their heads exploding every day of his Presidency. There is not a group of people in this country more deserving of endless aneurysm producing conniption fits.

I always kind of saw Hillary as completely sexless.

"Give them LA and Orange County in exchange for settling the debt."

Fine, as long as *I* get fair market value as a landowner here.

Anonymous KBT August 10, 2015 1:51 PM  

Oh, and ...

"First we wall off El Paso."

... make it an alligator and piranha moat and you're got a deal. :D

Anyone making it across without a boat or other flotation device can gain citizenship after an 8 year stint in the military.

Anonymous Lulabelle (68) August 10, 2015 1:57 PM  

"43. Viidad August 10, 2015 1:41 PM

And hey... leave Florida alone. Just let things collapse so we can dig a trench just north of Orlando and let the bottom part adrift."

This is a workable solution.

Blogger D. Lane (#0067) August 10, 2015 1:57 PM  

Ilk likes Trump now?

"Douchebags like trump" - Nate

Anonymous Geoff August 10, 2015 1:58 PM  

Hillary is more bangable than Carly.

Anonymous Lulabelle (68) August 10, 2015 1:59 PM  

"38. Josh - President Biden would be glorious."

That's the truth. How awesome would those State of the Union addresses be?

Anonymous praetorian August 10, 2015 2:04 PM  

I assert that power laws will come into play when Trump announces 50 Cent as his running mate. Their election will bring on the long-anticipated Douchocolypse Singularity. Trump is then sucked up into an astral fissure and President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho begins his glorious 50-year reign.

Show me the flaw in my logic.

Anonymous Porky August 10, 2015 2:06 PM  

And hey... leave Florida alone. Just let things collapse so we can dig a trench just north of Orlando and let the bottom part adrift.

That's cool. I always kinda dug the panhandle anyway.

Blogger D. Lane (#0067) August 10, 2015 2:12 PM  

It would be amusing to watch Bill play the role of the prestigious and historic First Gentleman, though.

Now speaking: the First Gentleman.

Anonymous WillBest August 10, 2015 2:15 PM  

Trump has failed a few times so its not that she ran HP into the ground, its that she has no equally impressive successes to offset such spectacular failures. And if you are telling me Trump would put half as much effort into the presidency as he does his business ventures I would go all in. The guy has demonstrated he understands the value in strategic default.

Dems apparently tried to tap the sociopath running Starbucks to be President. I think that was a mistake. For my money Jeff Bezos would be the best CEO for the Dems to tap. That guy has been running a big time company for 20 years that makes no money and is beloved by both consumers and investors. Its also suppose to be a not so nice company to work for which is another amazing perk his leadership could bring.

Anonymous cheddarman August 10, 2015 2:22 PM  

"Hillary is more bangable than Carly." - Geoff at 49.

Only if you have a cankle fettish.

Anonymous Soga August 10, 2015 2:23 PM  

praetorian: Nah, what you would see live on TV would be Trump introducing his VP, and as 50 Cents leaps onto the stage, Trump sticks out his lips, baring his pearl-white grin, and begins laughing. The laughter grows maniacal and uncontrollable, thundering forth from the TV like a lightning strike just outside the window. 50 Cents begins laughing too.

And then Trump's hair suddenly moves, as if it was an actual, live creature. A mouth much like the laughing one below emerges from his scalp and joins in on the diabolical laughter.

Lightning strikes Trump's hair, causing it to suddenly grow much larger. It grows toward 50 Cents and slowly engulfs the laughing rapper, sucking him into Trump.

And then something strange happens. Trump's face begins merging with 50 Cents' face, followed by the necks, down to the feet. As this occurs, an orange smoke emanates from Trump's hair, occluding the two from the camera.

As the smoke clears, a familiar figure emerges.

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho gazes across the shocked faces of the crowd and into the camera.

"Let there be Brawndo!"

Blogger Kirk Parker August 10, 2015 2:29 PM  

49: what, there are degrees of zero now?

Blogger Corvinus August 10, 2015 2:29 PM  

@25 Natalie Golovin

Are you kidding? With his kissing up to the sodomogamy crowd, Kasich is the most disgusting cuckservative of them all.

Blogger Corvinus August 10, 2015 2:33 PM  

Link: Matt Walsh, Gamma male, furiously attacks Trump supporters for all the wrong reasons.

Anonymous Mavwreck August 10, 2015 2:35 PM  

none of the candidates are even talking about addressing the three relevant issues, Repatriation, Repudiating debt, and Restoring national sovereignty

Two questions:

1. Have you suggested that the US should repudiate its debt before? I don't remember seeing it before and can't find it with a quick blog search.

2. What exactly do you think we need to do to restore our national sovereignty? I'm not asking about the mechanics, though; I'm wondering what changes you'd make to meet this goal, if you were given free reign.

Blogger Alexamenos August 10, 2015 2:37 PM  

Come on and FeeltheBern:

1. Bernie Sanders was born and raised in diversity enriched Brooklyn and went to school in wonderfully vibrant Chicago. His choice of residence? The whitest of all white states, Vermont.

2. Bernie supporters are whiter than Obama's campaign staff, they make tea-partiers look like race-mixing commies, and they're almost as white as an alexamenos family reunion. They're really really white.

So we have white liberals are going crazy over a guy from White State, and what do they want? Democratic socialism ala Scandanavia, the whitest of all white countries.

FeeltheBern is SWPL x 10000 in a party that's betting the farm on the coloured vote. The flare ups with BlackLivesMatter (really, WhiteGuiltMatters) so far is the tip of the iceberg. This could be really entertaining.

Blogger haus frau August 10, 2015 2:38 PM  

@24 ""Aaaand the Magic 8 ball says 'No, that was a retarded question only a retard would ask.' So, any more moronic questions from the Joan Rivers section? No? Good. Oh, great, we got one from the Connie Chung section. This ought to be deep. No, really, ask your question. I insist. Don't be shy, the country is watching."

I know exactly who we need for this role. I would like to nominate the flaming queer who narrates the honey badger videos on utube to be the press secretary.

Blogger D. Lane (#0067) August 10, 2015 2:39 PM  

@57 what, there are degrees of zero now?

Geoff has quantum sexuality.

Blogger Corvinus August 10, 2015 2:40 PM  

@61 Alexamenos

Another funny fact about Vermont is that it is soon to be the country's least-populous state, when Wyoming passes it.

For such a dinky population, they sure like to open their uber-SWPL mouths a lot, and project their uber-white sensibilities onto the rest of the country.

They're like Sweden before Sweden started to get invaded with darkies.

Blogger YIH August 10, 2015 2:48 PM  

If it wasn't for AOL she would have gone down as leading the most disastrous tech merger of all time.
When she took over Compaq it was the biggest player in PCs. When she got the boot from H-P Compaq became nothing but a brand name for the low end of H-Ps product line. While Whackopedia puts the best spin on her business resume it can, it can't deny that each time she went on to lead a company it was a trainwreck.
Remember Lucent Technologies? Yep, she snuffed that one too.
There is one thing there that is troubling however:
She was a strong proponent, along with other technology executives, of the expansion of the H-1B visa program.[47][48][49][50] Fiorina responded against protectionism in an editorial in the Wall Street Journal, writing that while "America is the most innovative country," it would not remain so if the country were to "run away from the reality of the global economy."[51] Fiorina said to Congress in 2004: "There is no job that is America's God-given right anymore. We have to compete for jobs as a nation."[48] While Fiorina argued that the only way to "protect U.S. high-tech jobs over the long haul was to become more competitive [in the United States]," her comments prompted "strong reactions" from some technology workers who argued that lower wages outside the United States encouraged the offshoring of American jobs.[52]

Blogger Ron Winkleheimer August 10, 2015 2:56 PM  

Now, this guy isn't a big time donor. He's in the $1500 range. But he still furrowed his brow over the idea that people could be fed up with the Bushes, so fed up that they'll go fishing on election day if the choice is between another Bush and another Clinton. He didn't seem to understand that.

Screw going fishing. I would vote for Hillary. If we are going to get a socialist clown lets not get a half-ass one.

Anonymous basementhomebrewer August 10, 2015 2:56 PM  

I know some people that competed against HP on bids when she was CEO. They were never worried about losing bids to her. Her nickname in those circles was "Carly the Clueless".

Blogger Tiny Tim August 10, 2015 3:05 PM  

What if someone attacked the Repuglicant's during the next debate.

Which one of the contenders would fight back? Which one's would run? Which one's would push the lady out in front of them and offer her up as payment to leave the rest alone?

I think it would look like the Seinfeld episode where George was caught in the "fire" and was knocking little old ladies out of the way to save himself.

Personally, I do think Trump and Carson would be the only one's standing there, Carson quiet and Trump mouthing off and threatening. Possibly Cruz...

Blogger Salt August 10, 2015 3:09 PM  

I'd propose Orville Redenbacher for President, bet he's busy making the needed popcorn... no matter he's dead.

Blogger Joshua Dyal August 10, 2015 3:10 PM  

Fine, as long as *I* get fair market value as a landowner here.

Take it up with the Chinese. They hold our debt. They'll probably kick all of the Mexicans out. If anything, your land value will do better under them than it has under us.

Right up until the Chinese simply take it from you, that is.

Blogger Joel #0164 August 10, 2015 3:11 PM  

Link: Matt Walsh, Gamma male, furiously attacks Trump supporters for all the wrong reasons.

One thing I've noticed about Walsh over the years is that he's in serious need of a good editor. His articles/blog posts are always eight paragraphs too long. He repeats himself a lot. It's like he has a self-imposed word count he tries to reach with everything he writes, whether the scope of his argument warrants it or not.

Anonymous Geoff August 10, 2015 3:15 PM  

Quantumphobia will not be tolerated here. This is a safe place.

Blogger YIH August 10, 2015 3:17 PM  

@39 Pretorian:
You want entertainment value? Guliani.

Blogger Salt August 10, 2015 3:18 PM  

@59

And when Hillary Clinton is elected president because Republican voters decided to squander the best GOP field in decades by flocking to a cut-rate impostor in an expensive suit, I will blame them for that too. - Walsh

Best field in decades? Hell, almost all of them were there last two elections and look what we ended up with.

Anonymous Donn #0114 August 10, 2015 3:21 PM  

Josh @38 It would be a big fucking deal. Seriously, we'd have soundbites until next election and beyond.

'Select all the food' And one of the items is a guinea pig in a cage. Are they just messing with me now?

Blogger Robert Clark August 10, 2015 3:25 PM  

Welp.....
Given that an HP employee may have preferred to jump to her death from an HP corporate plane at 2000 feet, rather than endure another day at HP, perhaps Carly might have a dramatic effect on the number of government employees and perhaps reduce the monthly payroll. Just a thought on a way to "reduce" big government.

http://articles.latimes.com/2000/dec/17/news/mn-1188

Blogger Owen August 10, 2015 3:31 PM  

Hillary is more bangable only because it assures there will be at least one other woman involved.

Blogger Corvinus August 10, 2015 3:33 PM  

@71 Joel #0164

Yup, rambling is definitely another Gamma (and Omega) trait.

Blogger tweell August 10, 2015 3:35 PM  

Trump has gone bankrupt three times. He's as good as it gets for dealing with the national debt.

Blogger Tiny Tim August 10, 2015 3:37 PM  

I have noticed there is a technique women always use. Attack the man, accuse him of something, and as soon as he comes back with a retort, they suddenly become the poor little victim of the "mean old sexist man pig". And when the man points out they created their victimhood, they accuse the man of being defensive and a martyr. At least that is my experience.

Hillary, now Megyn play it obviously and it plays well to the progressive weaklings of both sexes.

I am sure Fiorina will play that card as soon as needed in the debates. Then she will think she can play it for effect with the democrats, and they will then totally ignore her and eat her alive.



Blogger YIH August 10, 2015 3:40 PM  

@69 Salt:
I'd propose Orville Redenbacher for President, bet he's busy making the needed popcorn...
If you really want the African in America vote...

Blogger Tiny Tim August 10, 2015 3:43 PM  

Uh oh, trouble in the Obama Camp:

"Barvetta Singletary sent her boyfriend a text on Friday, asking him to come to her Upper Marlboro home for sex. After they had sex, Singletary confronted her boyfriend about other woman he was dating. Her boyfriend is a capital policeman. Singletary is on Obama's staff".

Blogger Joshua Sinistar August 10, 2015 3:47 PM  

Oh but Vox, politics isn't about principles and God knows ability has nothing to do with it. Its identity politics now. Well every identity but White Male Christian because its just icky or something.
Carly has the most important qualification in this race, an inborn vagina, at least that's what I'm assuming. The GOP is not about innovation, they play it safe by copying the opposition. They're kinda like the Chinese only dumber.
Maybe they can have Ben Carson as VP, so they can go after the black vote like they always do. As long as they don't appeal to White people they can continue getting enough money to live like the lapdogs they want to be. Of course they might still give it to Jeb Boosh because he thinks he's Mexican. If he also thought he was a woamn and wore a dress carly would probably have to go back to the private sector where she could creative destroy companies. Well as long as its bad for White people the donors don't care, right?

Blogger YIH August 10, 2015 3:47 PM  

@77 Owen:
Hillary is more bangable only because it assures there will be at least one other woman involved.
True, but you'd have a creepy Anthony Weiner watching all the time.

Blogger Tiny Tim August 10, 2015 3:47 PM  

Barvetta Singletary is accused of firing her boyfriend's 40 caliber Glock 23 service weapon ...

Blogger Nate August 10, 2015 3:51 PM  

I think President Joe Biden would be hysterical

Anonymous KBT August 10, 2015 3:58 PM  

If you really want the country to collapse, though, eight years of Hillary followed by eight years of Chelsea.

Apologies to anyone whose sleep I just disrupted for the next couple days. ;-)

Anonymous cheddarman August 10, 2015 4:05 PM  

61 and 64, Vermont is not all liberal. The state has been changed by rich liberals who buy vacation homes there and vote in elections; others brought the disease with them when they moved from the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts and New York City. The state legislature is for the most part run by rich liberals from out of state. The real Vermonters started a movement to “Take Back Vermont” in 2000, but it was too little, too late. They kind of got “carpet bagged” by liberals in the culture war.

Anonymous Curious August 10, 2015 4:06 PM  

<a href="http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/White-House-Staffer-Threatened-Boyfriend-a-US-Capitol-Police-Officer-With-Gun-321276871.html>Barvetta Singletary</a> and her boyfriend are the best that can be found?

Anonymous cheddarman August 10, 2015 4:08 PM  

# 77, we are talking bestiality here. She is, after all the Lizard Queen, as decreed by the Evil Lord of Evil.

Blogger Harsh August 10, 2015 4:09 PM  

President Chris Christie's first executive order will be: "Get in my belly!"

Blogger Cail Corishev August 10, 2015 4:15 PM  

FeeltheBern is SWPL x 10000 in a party that's betting the farm on the coloured vote. The flare ups with BlackLivesMatter (really, WhiteGuiltMatters) so far is the tip of the iceberg. This could be really entertaining.

Funny thing is, conservatives have been trying to drive a wedge into that alliance for decades, usually by trying to reason with one group or another, and nothing's worked. Now that cracks may be starting to appear, they're entirely self-imposed and have nothing to do with "reason" at all.

Whatever gets the job done, I guess.

Anonymous grey enlightenment August 10, 2015 4:19 PM  

her campaign is at best a footnote

Blogger David-093 August 10, 2015 4:21 PM  

Bidens inaugural address: "So our first colored presient didnt work out..."

Blogger W.LindsayWheeler August 10, 2015 4:23 PM  

I like Trump. He is the only to bring up illegal immigration in a big way. He says he is putting up a wall. And he is fighting back on Political Correctness and he has a backbone. He is a fighting man.

I didn't vote in the last two elections but if Trump is in I'm voting Trump.

Go Trump!

Anonymous Savagenger August 10, 2015 4:24 PM  

How exactly would "Repatriation" work??

Are we back to the Nazi-Jews comparison?

Just round up illegsls or all non Anglos?

Blogger justaguy August 10, 2015 4:25 PM  

Hey, although he isn't big on repudiating the debt, Cruz seems to have his act together as much as any politician can. He is a strong conservative and doesn't have radical or out of box ideas but what are the VD issues with him?

Anonymous praetorian August 10, 2015 4:26 PM  

In ad 2017, war was beginning...

President Jinping: I am curious, President Trump, how you intend to pay back such a large amount of debt?

President Trump: Vice President Cent?

Vice President Cent: Don't worry 'bout it, don't worry 'bout it, Don't worry 'bout a mothafuckin' thing.

President Jinping: President Trump, this does not inspire confidence...

President Trump: /smirks and looks at Vice President Cent/

Vice President Cent: Don't worry 'bout how I get my money, bitch, just know I get my money. Don't worry 'bout I spend my money, boy, I got a lot.

There were no survivors.

Blogger Joshua Dyal August 10, 2015 4:31 PM  

Hey, although he isn't big on repudiating the debt, Cruz seems to have his act together as much as any politician can. He is a strong conservative and doesn't have radical or out of box ideas but what are the VD issues with him?

He's not a bad candidate as far as candidates go. He really needs to lose the neocon foreign policy, though—and I'm still not sure I trust where he is on immigration.

Blogger Nate August 10, 2015 4:34 PM  

"I like Trump. He is the only to bring up illegal immigration in a big way."

the level of obliviousness necessary to make this kind of statement is true a sight to behold.

Anonymous boonewaxwell August 10, 2015 4:35 PM  

@100.
Also isn't Ted's wife a bankster?

Anonymous RandyJJ August 10, 2015 4:36 PM  

Re: Matt Walsh

Notice how he promises to like everyone if they just denounce Trump.

It's at the very end, so I don't blame you if you didn't make it that far.

Anonymous preatorian August 10, 2015 4:46 PM  

One thing that is important to understand about this election is that, from a alt-right lulz perspective, it is not possible to lose. Rather than arguing that one politician sucks more than another, we should be arguing positively: which one will generate maximum lulz per time unit.

I assert it is Trump, because leftists lose their shit over him (I'm surrounded by leftists and they are convinced he is hitler-in-a-suit) and the GOP hates him.

But, whoever your candidate, rejoice and be glad. There are no losers here, only dreams now.

Blogger Corvinus August 10, 2015 5:05 PM  

I have noticed there is a technique women always use. Attack the man, accuse him of something, and as soon as he comes back with a retort, they suddenly become the poor little victim of the "mean old sexist man pig". And when the man points out they created their victimhood, they accuse the man of being defensive and a martyr. At least that is my experience.

@81 Tiny Tim
Which is why learning how to reframe, as Trump did, is essential. A contemptuous snort and eye-roll is also good. But flat-out arguing with a woman never works.

Blogger YIH August 10, 2015 5:11 PM  

Hillary!
Safe for work, not for stomach.

Blogger Tiny Tim August 10, 2015 5:11 PM  

I like Cruz and want him to do well. My problem with Cruz is his wife. She is a partner at Goldman Sachs...

That I find troubling.

Blogger Tiny Tim August 10, 2015 5:14 PM  

I don't believe Trump is a shill for Hillary and Jeb.

His ego would not allow him to be pilloried the way he has, unless it is something he really believes in, such as family or the country.

Also, he obviously can't be controlled and he is already very wealthy.

He is the real deal, like it or not.

Blogger Quadko August 10, 2015 5:26 PM  

What, no one is championing a Fiorina / Carson ticket for to mess with the Democrat's minds? Seems the obvious play.

Most especially if they get some Biden / Sanders mix ticket?

"So, you'd vote for the two old white men ticket? Typical racist Democrats!"

Blogger Quadko August 10, 2015 5:47 PM  

Most likely play by Trump: Midway to the conventions, Trump switches party to run for Democrats because "they don't have any strong players." Doesn't quite pull off the convention, but accepts the Vice President slot on the D ticket.

Blogger D. Lane (#0067) August 10, 2015 5:48 PM  

What, no one is championing a Fiorina / Carson ticket for to mess with the Democrat's minds? Seems the obvious play.

Because Fiorina isn't a threat and Carson isn't a politician. They're noise.

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents August 10, 2015 5:49 PM  

TinyTim
I have noticed there is a technique women always use. Attack the man, accuse him of something, and as soon as he comes back with a retort, they suddenly become the poor little victim of the "mean old sexist man pig"

Yeah, that's got its own name, Don't Hit Me, I'm A Girl

Could always be worse, she could be attacked by sexist manbearpig...

Blogger JACIII August 10, 2015 5:53 PM  

@87 No. Joe Biden would not be hysterical. His every asinine gaffe would be parroted as wisdom itself. His every fuckup would be credited with deep political calculation.

That would be funny for about 10 more minutes.

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents August 10, 2015 5:55 PM  

Wheeler
"I like Trump. He is the only to bring up illegal immigration in a big way."

Nate
the level of obliviousness necessary to make this kind of statement is true a sight to behold.

Cut Wheeler some slack, his cluephone is obviously a rotary Princess model and it takes him a while to find it, then a lot more time to dial. Only then he notices it's not plugged into the wall jack...

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents August 10, 2015 6:00 PM  

Quantumphobia will not be tolerated here. This is a safe place.

Yeah, right up until it isn't.

Anonymous bgs August 10, 2015 6:05 PM  

drive a wedge into that alliance for decades, usually by trying to reason with one group or another, and nothing's worked

Reason can only work as an argument if people are capable of understanding it. I was not able to explain a concept to an adult black even with pictures that an 8yo relative understood easily. Not a big enough slice of the gay wedding cake is how the left will fall apart.

How exactly would "Repatriation" work?? Are we back to the Nazi-Jews comparison? Just round up illegsls or all non Anglos?

If Dominican Republic blacks can do it to Haiti blacks that have been born in the DR side of the island I don't think it is beyond us.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/18/world/americas/dominican-republic-set-to-deport-haitian-migrants.html?_r=0
http://www.theroot.com/articles/news/2015/06/dominican_republic_plans_mass_deportation_of_haitian_families.html
" Thousands of Dominicans born to Haitian parents are now eligible to be detained and deported to neighboring Haiti if they have not secured legal documentation by this week’s deadline."

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents August 10, 2015 6:11 PM  

Trump has failed a few times so its not that she ran HP into the ground, its that she has no equally impressive successes to offset such spectacular failures.

Whose money did Trump go bankrupt with? Clueless Carly did fair damage to HP's share price, and a whole lot of HP employees put at least some of their 401K into guess what company stock? Yeah, I know, stupid, but it was still a double whammy for many - laid off right as the 401K turns into a smoking crater.

I'm not kidding when I state that people in the Boise division were singing in the cubes on the day she left.

Dude, she drove the company nearly into the ground. Not her money. She was and is a slightly above average IQ attached to a vagina, like an older version of Sheryl Sandberg but without Sandberg's rudimentary business acumen.

Blogger ray August 10, 2015 6:16 PM  

Sad but true. Might be some comic value in Bernie Sanders too, is he running? Or just sells chicken. The guy who was silenced and stormtrooped by a couple lowlife skanks? He's like a VAWA Joe clone, all castrati all the time, and no There there.

Seeing these un-men of the Amerikan Brownshirt Left get publically cucked by the very monstresses they created, funded, and empowered is quite satisfying. Too bad they didn't make him crawl around the stage on his belly and turn over his credit cards. Then they could all be snakes together!

It's a New Day! :O)

Blogger JACIII August 10, 2015 6:17 PM  

Heard Carly say when baby boomer USG employee retires she would not replace a single one of them. If she means it, that is more than the rest of them put together would do for the country.

Blogger JACIII August 10, 2015 6:19 PM  

@118 The soon the blacks take control of their party the better. And, Bernie, you are out in the cold paleface. Don't look for community here - you can stay on your new democrat plantation.

Blogger ray August 10, 2015 6:22 PM  

"Joe Biden is the creepy uncle who always hugs his nieces and lady in-laws a little too long."


Then he calls a Press Conference to crow about being their Champion, with the Violence Against Women Act his crowning achievement as Traitor VP.

Females despise him, for obvious reasons, and yet he serves their power agendas, so they tolerate a little grabby grabby here 'n there. That way the hypocrisy makes a nice, neat circle. Just like the planet.

Blogger YIH August 10, 2015 6:32 PM  

@121 Ray:
so they tolerate a little grabby grabby here 'n there.
See: William Jefferson Clinton

Blogger ray August 10, 2015 6:52 PM  

"But he still furrowed his brow over the idea that people could be fed up with the Bushes, so fed up that they'll go fishing on election day if the choice is between another Bush and another Clinton. He didn't seem to understand that."


Educational comment. And this is my experience, also -- far too many men (and certainly, women) are much too insulated and propagandized to understand even the basics. Much less fix anything. At this stage anybody who doesn't get that Fiorina and Bush are faces on the same coin, is hopeless. But but, women CEOs, yeah! Fighting millennia of male oppression! Well not oppression by Mr. Business Chump of course, he's one of the GOOD MALES. But down with the OTHER males, whichever ones aren't him.

Mr. Business Chump, however, DOES know his IRA balances.

Six months living in the back of a car and a couple years picking lettuce for ag. minimum MIGHT bring this guy back from Happy Cuckville Hell. Eh probly not.


It's like living in a nation of 200 million three-year-olds. They The People.

Blogger Ben August 10, 2015 7:12 PM  

Selling California off to make some money sounds like a fantastic idea.

Anonymous Anon123 August 10, 2015 7:19 PM  

"When I ask her to name some Republican politicians she admires, she initially names all men—George W. Bush, John McCain, Mitch McConnell, and Paul Ryan."

Her answers in a previous book interview reveal so much about Fiorina.

Anonymous kfg August 10, 2015 7:26 PM  

" . . .leftist/SJW infested states like . . . New York . . . "

Get rid of the NYC Metro Area, NYC North (Albany), Syracuse and Buffalo, and New York would be a red state.

Blogger JaimeInTexas August 10, 2015 7:29 PM  

Dang. #4, leave out New Mexico and throw in "no right of return" and I am with Trump.

Blogger Chiva August 10, 2015 7:31 PM  

Selling California off to make some money sounds like a fantastic idea.

From the number of cash purchases of properties near where I live I think that is already well underway.

Blogger Groot August 10, 2015 7:34 PM  

@44. Viidad:
"we can dig a trench just north of Orlando and let the bottom part adrift."

If the US cuts off its peninsula, will it have to change its name to "Caitlyn"?

Blogger JaimeInTexas August 10, 2015 7:41 PM  

@129 Possibly the northern stubb. What will the southern side be called?

Anonymous DavidKathome August 10, 2015 7:58 PM  

Carly Fiorina may actually be better as President than she was as CEO of HP because the skill set for managing people at a for-profit tech company is vastly different than managing bureaucrats. The former are forward-thinking people who are often at least moderate risk takers, while bureaucrats are some of the most risk-averse, static, uncreative and backward thinking people on the planet.

Anonymous Luke August 10, 2015 8:38 PM  

5. Donn #0114 August 10, 2015 1:09 PM

"Give them LA and Orange County in exchange for settling the debt. Mexico get's El Paso so the illegals don't have to get their feet wet. First we wall off El Paso."

I've spent the past two months all over Texas, in and near Houston, San Antonio, SW Texas near the border, and now in Midland-Odessa. Spanish and accented English are all I hear from people under 45. Texas is gone, like south Florida. Let the last American leaving Texas bring the flag.

Anonymous Luke August 10, 2015 9:05 PM  

130. JaimeInTexas August 10, 2015 7:41 PM

"@129 Possibly the northern stubb. [of FL] What will the southern side be called?"

Americans won't be able to pronounce it. It'll be some Spanish gibberish.

Blogger Sad Puppy August 10, 2015 9:05 PM  

@33
Of course. He's governor in NJ.

Anonymous Donn #0114 August 10, 2015 9:12 PM  

Bernie didn't have the stones to say, "quit killing each other." How's he going to negotiate with any foreign power? two little black girls scared him off his own mic.

Anonymous KBT August 10, 2015 9:21 PM  

"Dude, she drove the company nearly into the ground. Not her money."

And I think she got ~$20 million in severance. Shit like that makes the most mild mannered wonder how much a professional hit would cost.

Blogger pyrrhus August 10, 2015 9:41 PM  

Carly also ran Lucent into the ground, so HP was no fluke....

Blogger JaimeInTexas August 10, 2015 9:42 PM  

@132 You mean, they came and took it?

Blogger JaimeInTexas August 10, 2015 9:43 PM  

@133 El Cortado

Blogger Sad Puppy August 10, 2015 9:44 PM  

@60
I tried reading that but it became apparent quickly that he has blood pouring out of his eyes...and wherever.

I love these guys who throw out the old chestnut "If you guys don't do what we like the Hillary is going to win".

Blogger Sad Puppy August 10, 2015 9:49 PM  

@70
If you're dead, you're an automatic democrat vote.

Blogger Sad Puppy August 10, 2015 9:52 PM  

@77
"Her body was found by a gardener Friday afternoon in a community plot in south Sacramento."

This made me think of the compost guy.

Blogger Groot August 10, 2015 10:29 PM  

@139. JaimeInTexas:

Little Bruce, or Robbered the Bruce.

Blogger M Cephas August 11, 2015 12:11 AM  

I used to be concerned with Libertarian perfectionism, when Ron Paul was around.

I really don't care for the most perfect candidate that will turn this country around like no other. As long as they can come in and fulfill just one of their promises, like Trump building a wall across the border, that will be as close to a win as we're going to get, the way I see it.

If he doesn't. Then it's just business as usual.

Blogger rho August 11, 2015 1:35 AM  

Eh, I'd give Fiorina a pass on heading Lucent into irrelevancy. Lucent was basically Bell Labs, and any R&D-based division needs big corporate teats to suckle on between delivering delicious pre-bacon piglets. A massive genius or an amputee rhesus monkey throwing darts would have performed about the same.

As for her tenure at HP, all I know is I used to know stuff about HPUX, and now I never encounter it, and have forgotten everything I once knew about it. I have the same hazy recollections about Sun systems, but Larry Ellison isn't running for office so nobody cares about that.

If entertainment is the metric, Trump is the best candidate, because Trump is the only candidate who needn't care. Second best to a candidate who needn't care is a popular candidate who knows he can't win, and that's Bernie Sanders. Put in historical terms, Trump is 1992 Perot and Sanders is 1984 Mondale--an ersatz populist versus a blowhard progressive. The rest are interchangeable placeholders.

As a long-time follower of politics, with long held conservative and libertarian beliefs, I'm going to continue my decades-long tradition of cleaning my guns on election day rather than voting.

Anonymous Wild Bill August 11, 2015 8:53 AM  

From the last thread, VD said, "I am paying next to no attention to the US presidential election. I barely know who is running."

Given the subsequent threads about the election, VD is sounding a little bit like the kid in class who says he probably just failed the test but then gets the highest grade in the class when the teacher returns the tests.

Blogger Quadko August 11, 2015 11:48 AM  

@117 Clueless Carly did fair damage to HP's share price...employees

Clueless employees (and I've been one) always think the Owner, Board, and CEO are supposed to run the company for the employee's benefit. That's not their job. Especially not change agents.

@111Because Fiorina isn't a threat and Carson isn't a politician. They're noise.

Sorry you missed the joke, but more sorry you think what we are in need of are "real politicians" to get us out of this mess. Legislators should never be allowed in the executive branch, and "real [professional] politicians" are the problem.

Blogger Robert What? August 11, 2015 7:51 PM  

Let's face it - among recent Presidents, the one who fucked us over the least was Bill Clinton. So maybe when, not if Hillary is elected, she'll rapidly be completely in over her head at which point ol' Bill may step in.

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