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Thursday, September 03, 2015

Everyone needs a hobby


This meme brought to you courtesy of Aaron S. Coming soon: All the Rapes of Westeros: An Encyclopedia of Sexual Assault Fantasies by G. Rape Rape Marten. Complete with illustrations drawn in crayon by the author. And by "soon", I mean sometime in the next seven or eight years.

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63 Comments:

Anonymous Good Things Are Worth Waiting For September 03, 2015 12:01 PM  

And by "soon", I mean sometime in the next seven or eight years.

We can wait. Patience is a virtue.

Anonymous fish September 03, 2015 12:07 PM  

Yeah I was wondering when that particular "Blazing Saddles" reference would work its way into the conversation....

Anonymous Whitey McWhite September 03, 2015 12:09 PM  

If George R. R. Martin had followed though on Vox Day's acceptance of his (George R. R. Martin's) invitation to debate, this conflict, however embarrassing, would be receding in his rear-view mirror.

Or had he not called for a debate before declining to have one, that would have been better too.

Anonymous Stingray September 03, 2015 12:10 PM  

Must resist the urge to quote movie . . . . over and over and over again. . . . .

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 12:11 PM  

When he's in the basement, he's not just washing his fat guy hat...

Blogger CM September 03, 2015 12:14 PM  

Does he have a "This is a blog" so we can go abd strongly encourage its completion?

Anonymous Donn #0114 September 03, 2015 12:24 PM  

Still too soon. How about the 2nd of Never?

Blogger Tiny Tim September 03, 2015 12:27 PM  

They do all look like the proverbial "pervert uncle" you have to keep the kids away from, Scalzi, this guy... blowing up balloons dressed as a clown at children's parties by day, while doing the balloon show at night for gay sex parties.

Seriously. Something isn't right with these guys.

Your torturing of them is awesome.

Anonymous Earl September 03, 2015 12:27 PM  

Why is the holy righteous campaign to undermine old beardy white men run by old beardy white men?

Blogger DBSFF September 03, 2015 12:29 PM  

. . . Mel Brooks? Here?

Taggart: I got it! I know how we can run everyone out of Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: How?
Taggart: We'll kill the first born male child in every household.
Hedley Lamarr: [after some consideration] Too Jewish.

Anonymous Earl September 03, 2015 12:31 PM  

I propose the encyclopedia of sexual assaults be published like a college text book, with yearly editions updating the reader with the newest information from the field. That way we don't wait seven or eight years.

Blogger Daniel September 03, 2015 12:43 PM  

Where does Rape Rape live, Sweethaven?

Anonymous Cruisin' Down Cerillos September 03, 2015 12:46 PM  

George R. R. Moretons resides somewhere around Santa Fe. How he navigates the narrower streets is a mystery.

Blogger Sir Wilshire (#320) September 03, 2015 12:46 PM  

OT: A local judge (to me) engages in some black knighting...

"'The conclusion reached by this Court is that Tennesseans have been deemed by the U.S. Supreme Court to be incompetent to define and address such keystone/central institutions such as marriage, and, thereby, at minimum, contested divorces,' Atherton wrote."
-http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2015/sep/03/judge-declines-divorce-case-citing-gay-marria/323201/

Anonymous Bz September 03, 2015 12:47 PM  

Waiting for Martin, straining at his desk? Perhaps someone instead can write the parody, "The Rapes of Winter: Volume 6 of A Rape of Ice and Fire". Would be a shame if it was an improvement.

Anonymous Viidad September 03, 2015 12:49 PM  

I don't want to imagine the crayon budget on that one...

Blogger Jay Lucas September 03, 2015 12:49 PM  

Re: Earl

I propose the encyclopedia of sexual assaults be published like a college text book, with yearly editions updating the reader with the newest information from the field. That way we don't wait seven or eight years.

Agreed. Silence kills and knowledge saves. We need comprehensive data, both quantitative and qualitative about the terror-rape campaign in ongoing in modern Science/Fantasy. Maybe we should appoint a Westeros-style bureaucrat to oversee these records and call the The Master of Rape?

Blogger Danby September 03, 2015 12:50 PM  

Why is the holy righteous campaign to undermine old beardy white men run by old beardy white men?

Because Social Justice is entirely social signalling amongst whites.

Anonymous Bz September 03, 2015 12:53 PM  

Surely it's the Maester of Rape.

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 12:57 PM  

How many bags of Cheetos do you suppose have disappeared into that horrific maw?

Anonymous Huckleberry September 03, 2015 12:59 PM  

The Confederacy of Rapists mashup should be a hoot.

Anonymous Mike M. September 03, 2015 1:04 PM  

It occurs to me that the Dread Lord Vox is himself a ripe target for a parody.

Something about his being a horrific fake villain who really loves his wife and kids. Dogs, too. Not like that puppy blender, Glenn Reynolds. :-)

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 1:10 PM  

The Confederacy of Rapists mashup should be a hoot.

I can definitely imagine GRRM complaining about his valve.

Anonymous praetorian September 03, 2015 1:12 PM  

YES.

I would like to say one good meme is worth a thousand think tanks, but conservative think tanks are a net-negative, so the math doesn't work...

Blogger SirHamster (#201) September 03, 2015 1:22 PM  

I would like to say one good meme is worth a thousand think tanks, but conservative think tanks are a net-negative, so the math doesn't work...

Use an inequality. A good meme is worth more than a thousand conservative think tanks.

Blogger Russell (106) September 03, 2015 1:29 PM  

A good meme is worth more than the absolute value of a thousand conservative think tanks.

Blogger Aeoli Pera September 03, 2015 1:33 PM  

OT

Another bad cop shooting, see video and my two comments: https://robertlindsay.wordpress.com/2015/09/02/cops-get-tired-of-shooting-black-men-shoot-hispanic-man-instead/

Blogger Sjonnar September 03, 2015 1:37 PM  

His face in the last panel is what really sells it. I have a new wallpaper.

Blogger IM2L844 September 03, 2015 1:45 PM  

The Confederacy of Rapists...

Standing together against rapistism. I got your 6, George. ~ Johnny "many people imagine me as a 6-foot-4 ex-Marine badass" Scalzi

Blogger Jay Lucas September 03, 2015 1:48 PM  

re: Bz

Surely it's the Maester of Rape.

Those guys do wear chain collars, so they might be into it. One of the Iron Seamen says maesters lean towards teaching your ravens and "tending" your children, or something to that effect. Alas, the book readers get regular updates on the bisexual love life and fantasies of the lolita dragon-queen (including her fixation on ethnic slaves) but we've had nothing but hints about Renly and his rainbow-clad night-boy.

Come to think of it, Cersei does some explicit rape of another woman as well a cousin, beyond trying to whore out one of the "reproductively mature" Stark children to her son. We only got hints of the Greyjoy childhood homobuggery. George doesn't mind incest or child rape, so I guess it's the gay angle.

Maybe if the SJW mob gets loud enough Jon Snow will finally accept a little comfort from his former boy-whore steward. (Former whore, not former boy that's now a whore. Because we need to clarify that that now.)

Encyclopedia of Westeros Rape isn't even hyperbole, is it?

Blogger LP999/S.I.G. Burn'in Up! September 03, 2015 1:53 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger CarpeOro September 03, 2015 2:01 PM  

@2
Yeah, I made a reference to it a couple of days or so ago. Going to grab my copy and watch it this weekend while I'm back home without distractions.

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 2:19 PM  

I would like to say one good meme is worth a thousand think tanks, but conservative think tanks are a net-negative, so the math doesn't work...

There are no conservative think tanks -- and the somewhat-less-liberal-than-usual "think tanks" that exist aren't producing "conservative thought".

The role of the "conservative" establishment -- especially the magazines and "think tanks" -- is to keep "conservatism" within the bounds acceptable to liberalism.

Anonymous preatorian September 03, 2015 2:27 PM  

Use an inequality. A good meme is worth more than a thousand conservative think tanks.

Right, but then holding very still and waiting for the heat death of the universe is better than a thousand conservative think tanks...

A good meme is worth more than the absolute value of a thousand conservative think tanks.

Now we are getting somewhere...

There are no conservative think tanks

One good meme can undo the damage of a thousand cuckservative think-tanks.

Anonymous Bz September 03, 2015 2:27 PM  

"Raep," the raven said, giving the Maester a black-eyed stare. "Raep!" The Maester sighed and looked down into the courtyard where a former Wilding-woman was kicking a hacked-off head as big flakes of snow were slowly swirling down on the castle. He could distantly hear her angry voice. "You. Were. A. Fool. Jon. Snow."

Winter was coming.

"Raep!"


Spoiler: Look out for the White Powerwalkers, Stannis.

Blogger BunE22 September 03, 2015 2:39 PM  

Wow, I never saw his face close up. I always saw smaller pics of him looking like Santa incognito wearing a Greek sailor cap. I have to say, it's truly frightening and I agree that there is something very creepy about that group.

It's also sad that Mel Brooks wouldn't be able to make any of those movies today and SJWs would call that progress. I'm okay with them wanting to live in their bleak world but they have no right to take the rest of us with them. No right!

Anonymous BigGaySteve September 03, 2015 2:52 PM  

GRRM went down to the Mustang Ranch brothel, threw down a pile of cash on the counter & said "give me the oldest, ugliest, 2 bit whore you have". The Madame said " for this much money I can get you one that looks like Marylyn Monroe". GRRM replied "I miss the only girlfriend I ever had"

Blogger Nate September 03, 2015 3:07 PM  

So..

Mel Brooks IS funny.

Sometimes.

Blogger Groot September 03, 2015 3:17 PM  

That last picture... too up-close... It's just Stevil.

Blogger Student in Blue September 03, 2015 3:20 PM  

@Nate
Mel Brooks IS funny.

Sometimes.


More like Richard Pryor is funny, and Mel Brooks just made the rest of movie tolerable-to-bad.

Anonymous Thales September 03, 2015 3:34 PM  

His face in the last panel is what really sells it. I have a new wallpaper.

Well, I guess with Obamacare around, we do need a reliable, low-cost treatment for priapism...

Anonymous Big Bill September 03, 2015 3:35 PM  

I'm too old school, I guess. Not being a hip, young, kicky, 20-something chick, I couldn't get into all the rape play of GRRM.

Turns my stomach.

They sure as h@ll like it, though. They carry mattresses on their backs celebrating their rapes.

Heck that Columbia girl even made her own personal rape movie when her mattress stopped attracting attention.

50 Shades of Perv.

Blogger JDC September 03, 2015 3:35 PM  

GRRM invented the #6 dance.

Anonymous Rape Lords of the Rings September 03, 2015 3:49 PM  

In a hole there lived a hobbit. Not a wet hole, but an ideologically correct, dry, cat lady cougar hole, and that means comfort.

Anonymous Donn #0114 September 03, 2015 3:54 PM  

Thales - Sorry but you can't beat 'I said GOOD DAY, Sir!' otter.

Blogger Carl Philipp September 03, 2015 3:58 PM  

@30
Wait.
"Greyjoy childhood homobuggery?"
News to me... ?

Anonymous Shut up rabbit September 03, 2015 4:19 PM  

Late to the party...

PART V
IT WAS A PLEASURE TO SPLURGE

IT was a petty pleasure to see things degraded, to see things lessened and diversified. With the plastic keyboard under his finger, with this tiny python spitting its venomous BS upon the world, the blood pounded in his head, and his hands were the hands of some economic migrant playing with an iPhone posting #KillAllMen and #NotAllLivesMatter tweets in the ruins of history once he’d finished furiously masturbating to images of voluptuous boys. With his symbolic lady’s dress hat bearing “SJW” on his unusually small head, and his eyes all pink flame with the thought of unconscious prey, he typed his blog post the Internet jumped up in a gorging fire that burned intelligent debate red and yellow and black. He strode in a swarm of mewling sycophancy so briefly before he shut off the comments. He wanted above all, like the old joke, to shove a racist dipstick asshole in the furnace, while common sense died on social media to feed the narrative. While the common sense went up in sparkling whirls and blew away on a wind turned dark with multiculturalism far away, next to someone else’s lawn.
Johntag grinned the fierce grin of all gamma men scared and driven back by the thought of testosterone.
The women would be home soon. He knew that when he returned to the basement in his own home, he might wink at himself, a minstrel man, burnt-corked, in the mirror. But his black-face would be OK, it would be great because it was ironic and everything was OK when they did it. Later, going to sleep on the pullout bed, alone, he would feel the snarky grin still gripped by his face muscles, in the dark, wet with his tears. It never went away, that. grimace, it never ever went away no matter how much he cried, as long as he kept himself emasculated.
He hung up his black-beetle-coloured dress hat and fluffed it, he hung his ball-gown neatly; he skipped showering. Showering was not ecologically-friendly and only unreconstructed males, MRAs and PUAs cared for personal hygiene, and then, whistling sheepishly, hands in pockets, walked across the upper floor of his own home and skittered down the hole into his basement. At the last moment, when shame seemed positive, he pulled his hands from his pockets and stopped playing with himself momentarily.

Anonymous BGS September 03, 2015 4:27 PM  

I just found out people paid $2000 to have sex with the Virginia gay Obama supporter live TV killer when he was younger. I guess my GRRM brothel joke was not too far off.

Anonymous Shut up rabbit September 03, 2015 4:31 PM  

Btw, anyone hoping the White Walkers will win the battle for Westeros is setting themselves up for another rape-rape disappointment. An SJW would never let the whites win anything!

Anonymous Big Bill September 03, 2015 5:12 PM  

@48: I loved Vester's classic leatherboy "Tom of Finland" poses in the photos the Independent [Daily Mail?] published.

All he lacked was the Nazi officer leather cap to make it picture perfect.

Blogger Danby September 03, 2015 5:13 PM  

@40 Student in Blue
@Nate
Mel Brooks IS funny.
Sometimes.
More like Richard Pryor is funny, and Mel Brooks just made the rest of movie tolerable-to-bad.

I think you mean Cleavon Little is funny. Richard Pryor was cast in the role, but called Mel on the first day of shooting. From Cleveland. With no explanation or memory of how he got there. And Brooks decided that maybe a cokehead is not the best person to have starring in your film.

Blogger Anthony Gillis September 03, 2015 5:39 PM  

"You know nothing, Vox Day! Every one of the many rapes in my books was vital, vital to the plot, and never, not even once, especially at my desk late at night, for my own enjoyment!"

-George R.R. Martin

Blogger Zach September 03, 2015 6:07 PM  

So this is what always comes to me when I think of GRRM (NSFW): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjzC2DRgEo4

Blogger Floyd Looney September 03, 2015 6:18 PM  

Rape of Thrones

Anonymous Susan September 03, 2015 6:52 PM  

@51,

That is indeed correct. But Richard Pryor wound up writing the dialogue for The Waco Kid, and Gene Wilder wrote most of the dialogue for Cleavon Little. I am reminded of that every time I hear liberal blacks tell us all that whites have no clue about being black. The writing team of Pryor and Wilder proves that wrong every time.

Blogger Nate September 03, 2015 6:59 PM  

"More like Richard Pryor is funny, and Mel Brooks just made the rest of movie tolerable-to-bad."

Richard Pryor wasn't in the movie hoss.

Anonymous Susan September 03, 2015 7:04 PM  

He wrote the part of the Waco Kid though. His son Max is the one who wrote that parody book Zombie Survival Guide.

Blogger Carl Philipp September 03, 2015 7:10 PM  

@52 If I ever get around to making a custom expansion for Cards Against Humanity online, "George R. R. Martin writing a rape scene while masturbating" will definitely be one of the cards.

It'll go nicely when paired with the prompt card, "The Hugo Losers party was a big hit, until it was interrupted by _____"

As would, I suppose, the "voluptuous preteen boys" card.

Blogger Cataline Sergius September 03, 2015 7:12 PM  

@56

Richard Pryor wasn't in the movie hoss.

Oh Thank the lord! I thought Alzheimer's was setting in way early.

Blogger maniacprovost September 03, 2015 7:14 PM  

SJWs Always Rape.

Anonymous Anonymous September 04, 2015 9:12 AM  

Vox Day, you rape humanity on a daily basis.

Blogger Markku September 04, 2015 10:33 AM  

This is a very good job, because the last image is just the correct level of subtlety. It could be grotesquely overwrought. That would have been too juvenile to be funny.

Anonymous Wyrd September 05, 2015 1:29 AM  

Is it just me or does Rape-Rape look like a lighter-skinned version of Fred Sanford?

"Scalzi! You big dummy!"

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