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Thursday, September 03, 2015

You can't ban love

It should be absolutely fascinating to see John Scalzi trying to talk Amazon into banning another book, this one called JOHN SCALZI BANNED THIS BOOK and published by "451 Publishing".

The quote cracked me up: "I obviously reported it to Amazon as inappropriate." Popehat, can we get a verdict on this one too? Is it parody or libel?

In any event, if you missed your opportunity to buy the banned John Scalzi Is A Rapist: Why SJWs Always Lie In Bed Waiting For His Gentle Touch; A Pretty, Pretty Girl Dreams of Her Beloved One While Pondering Gender Identity, Social Justice, and Body Dysmorphia before it was banned, don't worry, you can still buy John Scalzi Banned This Book But He Can Never Ban My Burning Love: A Pretty, Pretty Girl Dreams of Her Beloved While Pondering Gender Identity, Social Justice, and Body Dysmorphia. I'm told it has just as many Chapter Fives.

A blazingly inventive parody that was banned by John Scalzi, despite Ms. Eren being a huge Scalzi fan and an unemployed transgendered up-and-coming romance author who needed the money so xe could one day buy xerself a big, beautiful lawn of xer own. Soon to be nominated for the Hugo, don't miss the story of a love so bold it broke the Internet!"

As you might expect, the SJWs are back on their fainting couches. From File 770:
Gabriel F. on September 2, 2015 at 9:05 pm said:
The fact that John Scalzi is a Rapist was even briefly a bestseller is horrifying.
But wait, there's more! SJWs Never Lie: Censorship is Tolerance! Freedom is Slavery! Ignorance is Strength!

Despite the claims of evil bigots, those who fight for social justice never lie. And if they did, it would be for the right cause. The once-proud title of Social Justice Warrior has been dragged through the dirt of prejudice and hate long enough. Now, three prominent writers speak out in its defense and on the public battles of our time:

“I, like, totally, don’t pay any attention to that racist, sexist, homophobic douchevelociraptor Vox Day! Like, whatever, girl! Ten years don’t… mean… nothing! Sashay, snap!”
-Brianna Scalzi, 147-time Hugo-nominated author of 'Old Trope’s War'

Labels: ,

123 Comments:

Anonymous Toby Temple September 03, 2015 4:16 AM  

Bwahahahahahaha!!!

Scalzi will have a panic attack for sure.

Blogger JCclimber September 03, 2015 4:25 AM  

Does this mean I have to buy it again to help get it to best seller status?

And I'm sure my review has disappeared down the rabbit hole (heh) on the previous volume....

What is really, really funny about all this is how little they seem to realize that they brought every bit of this upon themselves.

Blogger Anthony Gillis September 03, 2015 4:26 AM  

"Scalzi, if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine!"

-Lots more people than the little guy expected

Blogger VD September 03, 2015 4:28 AM  

Does this mean I have to buy it again to help get it to best seller status?

Buy it again? Whatever do you mean? It is a TOTALLY different book. Can't you see that it has a different and totally unobjectionable title?

Anonymous Forrest Bishop VFM #0167 September 03, 2015 4:31 AM  

John Scalzi: We DEMAND you have this book BANNED & BURNED IMMEDIATELY!! Deal with this nonsense quickly!! Without reservation!!! Otherwise, many, many more may get ALL ANGWY AT YOU.

Remember forever:

John Scalzi ‏@scalzi
Just confirmed: That silly book with the silly title defaming me appears to be off of Amazon. In the US, at least.

John Scalzi ‏@scalzi
However, let me without reservation express my thanks to @amazon for dealing with that nonsense quickly. It's appreciated.

John Scalzi ‏@scalzi
Awwwwww, now the dudes who don't understand what censorship is are ALL ANGWY AT ME.

Blogger VD September 03, 2015 4:37 AM  

I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that Scalzi appears to have zero ability to grasp the obvious consequences of his actions. I mean, if the "John Scalzi is a rapist" theme is tiresome and pretty much everyone knows it already, how is it better to launch a brand new "John Scalzi burns books" meme?

Did he really think it was all just going to go away? Or is the need for short-term relief on the amygdala so pressing that one simply doesn't care what happens tomorrow?

But tomorrow always arrives.

Anonymous Toby Temple September 03, 2015 4:49 AM  

Scalzi, the book banning basterd (bbb), is just too short sighted to see possible detrimental future consequences of his actions.

Even the way he tweets shows this tendency to be utterly careless.

Anonymous Whitey McWhite September 03, 2015 4:49 AM  

@4. JCclimber: "Does this mean I have to buy it again to help get it to best seller status?"

We buy, buy, and buy again, until lambs become lions.

Anonymous Giuseppe The Kurgan September 03, 2015 4:52 AM  

I never thought it possible, but the huddling, gnawing and blood spurting of the VFM of the Supreme Dark Lord are softening my cold, cold Kurgan heart.
I may even, one day, have a tear roll down one eye too.

Anonymous Forrest Bishop September 03, 2015 5:00 AM  

@8. VD
I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that Scalzi appears to have zero ability to grasp the obvious consequences of his actions. I mean, if the "John Scalzi is a rapist" theme is tiresome and pretty much everyone knows it already, how is it better to launch a brand new "John Scalzi burns books" meme?

Did he really think it was all just going to go away? Or is the need for short-term relief on the amygdala so pressing that one simply doesn't care what happens tomorrow?

But tomorrow always arrives.


Right fucking now has arrived and John Scalzi, $tar writer for Tor Books to the tune of $everal hundred thou, has not had this obnoxious book banned already. There it sits in all its ignominy while Scalzi-creep dreams of ukulele-playing electric goats in frilly dresses. Meanwhile, lawyers scrutinize his contract, meticulously parsing through the clauses that speak to mental incompetence, negligence, and breach.

Blogger JACIII September 03, 2015 5:00 AM  

Easy, Giuseppe, we got plenty of weepers around already.

Blogger Rigel Kent September 03, 2015 5:36 AM  

When I saw the title of this post come up in my blog list feed I had to pause a moment before clicking on it and wonder: What could this be? It was so much better than I imagined.

Blogger Remo - Vile Faceless Minion #99 September 03, 2015 5:44 AM  

The first thing you must know about the Vile Faceless Minions is.... they are VILE...

I wonder how many heads Scalzi has to cut off the hydra before he realizes that this is not the way to win? Kill one book... two instantly grow in its place. Care to go for another whack SJW's?

Anonymous Boogeyman VFM #240 September 03, 2015 5:46 AM  

Please, all of you, stop creating and putting these things up on Amazon! I'm begging you! If I laugh any more I'll have another stroke. My poor, damaged vascular system can't take much more. Do you really want to be responsible for killing a man via parody?

Anonymous jcw September 03, 2015 5:46 AM  

It looks like you already may have some books to nominate for the Rabid Puppies slate next year. There must be a category these can fit into.

Blogger Rantor September 03, 2015 5:55 AM  

Congrats Vox, still número uno on the political philosophy charts, despite all the kids returning to school and being forced to buy Plato, Marx, etc. got my copy of SJWs Never Lie this morning, read and reviewed it. Not as good as the banned work, but mildly disturbing in its own way.

Anonymous Wojciech Majda September 03, 2015 5:58 AM  

Amor vincit omnia!

Blogger Shimshon September 03, 2015 6:00 AM  

I see a new Hugo category in the making. Best booked banned by a Hugo-Award winning author.

Blogger James Dixon September 03, 2015 6:08 AM  

> You might want to check the spelling before you post it for the world...

Someone can't tell the difference between quoted and non-quoted material. They also need to sign themselves up for the next available gender issues sensitivity course at their local warren.

OpenID basementhomebrewer September 03, 2015 6:22 AM  

@ 21 James Dixon This might result in their expulsion from the warren. They were so insensitive to the point of suggesting the way Alexa identifies is a mistake and wrong. They may be forgiven though because they thought they were being clever and advancing the narrative that Vox is the worst editor to ever edit.

OpenID basementhomebrewer September 03, 2015 6:34 AM  

#Can'teditmyidentity

Anonymous scalzifan123 September 03, 2015 6:42 AM  

Here's two title suggestions for the next ban:

Lack Of Consent Is No Obstacle To Love
It Takes A Strong Woman To Keep Me Off

Blogger Mr.MantraMan September 03, 2015 6:55 AM  

If you sense less pushback from the SJW on this than what you expected it could be because they went for an easier target, Taylor Swift who is now a purveyor of that dread "racism."

Ms. Swift needs a copy of "SJWAL" and a few cheeseburgers.

Blogger Shimshon September 03, 2015 7:10 AM  

"It Takes A Strong Woman To Keep Me Off"

My Daughter is Safe, but I'm Not

Anonymous Babs S. checking in. September 03, 2015 7:12 AM  

I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that Scalzi appears to have zero ability to grasp the obvious consequences of his actions. I mean, if the "John Scalzi is a rapist" theme is tiresome and pretty much everyone knows it already, how is it better to launch a brand new "John Scalzi burns books" meme?

Did he really think it was all just going to go away? Or is the need for short-term relief on the amygdala so pressing that one simply doesn't care what happens tomorrow?

But tomorrow always arrives.


He took away KotakuInActions excuses to downvote threads regarding "SJWs Always Lie" (we like, totally, do not like Vox and stuff). Now a thread stating "censorship on Amazon" is gaining ground - with links to those books.

Blogger The Rev September 03, 2015 7:17 AM  

#LoveWins

Anonymous Stingray September 03, 2015 7:34 AM  

Did he really think it was all just going to go away?

I honestly think that after each "win" he thinks he's won the war and you will stop. I think they all believe this. The "what will Vox Day do next?" is evidence that they are beginning to, ever so slowly, learn.

Blogger James Dixon September 03, 2015 7:41 AM  

Speaking of the title and "But He Can Never Ban My Burning Love:..

Just remember what your mother told you Alexa:

"You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes"

Blogger VD September 03, 2015 7:41 AM  

The "what will Vox Day do next?" is evidence that they are beginning to, ever so slowly, learn.

And yet, they claim to be the smart ones. They certainly aren't fast learners. It's like none of them have ever been in a fight before. If you hit someone, you have to be prepared to be hit back.

Anonymous NorthernHamlet September 03, 2015 7:42 AM  

Now this is really starting to get funny.

Poke Scalzi again.

Anonymous MM September 03, 2015 7:45 AM  

sneak preview of title of my upcoming book:

John Scalzi's Krazy Kindle Kristallnacht: A Modern Parable

Blogger Zach September 03, 2015 8:00 AM  

If You Were An Amazon.com-Banned Parody, My Love

Blogger Zach September 03, 2015 8:01 AM  

Do the Hugos have a "Performance Art" category? Maybe Scalzi is campaigning to win that one?

Anonymous Shut up rabbit September 03, 2015 8:10 AM  

[OT] I've just unsubscribed from the "Adventures in SciFi Publishing podcast" and I advise all ilk (dread or otherwise) and every VFM to do the same. In their last episode they proudly raised the SJW banner and lauched the Good Ship Pink Podcasting

Despite claiming to want the Hugo they claim to "understand" why the "fans" no-awarded them. They have now vowed to kiss the feculent pink-SF SJW anus from now and in perpetuity in order to win a Hugo award for the right reason: utter supplication the insanity that is progressive right-think.

So, if you wish to continue to listen to this propaganda, please turn in your privilege card and sink down to wallow in the filth with the other champions of "diversity'" such as Johnny Con, Mary Three Name and G Rape Rape Soros.

Needless to say this self-confessed hive of SJW villany will not be getting my vote in any future awards. But, as the producers of the podcast have confessed - a Hugo can only be won buy licking the drizzling narrative from the weedly branch of the tree of social justice.

So, Fuck You Adventure in Pink SciFi publishing, may foul winds and disaster dog your every step forward and farewell you fair weather friend!

Anonymous buzzcut #207 September 03, 2015 8:12 AM  

I hate to be the trick candle on this birthday cake, but that is the same book with a different title, right? I don't have to buy it twice?

@33 John Scalzi's KKK. Nice.

Blogger Ron September 03, 2015 8:13 AM  

The Toad Books logo in SJWs Never Lie is evil genius. It's like the love child of Rape Rape and The Toad.

Patrick will just have to resign himself living with his feelings of inferiority knowing he could never escape Moretons shadow (or gravity).

Anonymous NorthernHamlet September 03, 2015 8:16 AM  

I'm putting in my vote for the next Scalzi book now...

The Hitchhiker's Guide To John Scalzi

It also has a weird sexual vibe to it, like serial killer style.

Blogger Nate September 03, 2015 8:22 AM  

"#LoveWins"

LULZ

Anonymous The other robot September 03, 2015 8:34 AM  

Phil Sandifer = Pedo Bear

Blogger Cail Corishev September 03, 2015 8:46 AM  

It's like none of them have ever been in a fight before.

It's like non of them has even read about a fight before. I mean, don't some of them claim to have enjoyed Ender's Game?

Anonymous RedJack #22 September 03, 2015 8:46 AM  

Well, that escalated quickly.

Pretty much offline this week, but logging on to see the... well I am not quite sure what to call this, has made my day. Though I do wonder what the mistress of the whips has to say about a few of the Minions slipping the lease.

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 8:47 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 8:47 AM  

No way will the author be able to keep churning these out every time they get banned. Production costs are too high!

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 8:48 AM  

This whole incident is getting surreal and I love every second of it.

And I just bought this brave, banned book for no particular reason whatsoever.

Who's angry now, Johnny Con?

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 8:48 AM  

It's like non of them has even read about a fight before.

It's almost like ripping off Heinlein doesn't teach you anything about fighting or war.

Anonymous BGS September 03, 2015 8:50 AM  

Perhaps I should come out with "BigGaySteve's Guide to Arbitrage Of John Scalzi's Blowjob Exchange"

Perhaps claimed as a parody of Rangar's Guide to the Underground Economy.

Blogger Jim Rizzi September 03, 2015 8:51 AM  

Odd. Regarding the book formerly known as "John Scalzi Is A Rapist," I sent a complaint to Amazon when it was taken down. Here is the response I received this morning:



"Hello Rizzi,

I'm sorry, currently the Kindle edition "John Scalzi Is A Rapist" is not available for purchase. The content in the Kindle Store is provided to us directly by the publishers or authors who own that content.

Occasionally books are removed from the Kindle Store for various reasons. We do not have any specific details about why this particular book may have been removed. The book’s publishers decide if a book is to be made available for the Kindle, and they can change this status at any time.

I kindly suggest you to contact the publisher directly and ask that they make their content available on our website. We will continue to work with publishers directly and ask that they make their content available on Kindle.

To make sure your interest in this book heard by the right people in the organization, I've forwarded your concern to the appropriate people in our company and this way they can take notice of the issues you've pointed out, take your suggestions into consideration and make sure they are implemented in the near future as we plan for improvements.

Your understanding and co-operation on this issue is appreciated. We look forward to see you again soon.



Best regards,
Manikandan R"

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 8:51 AM  

Heh, after purchasing that brave, banned book I noticed that Amazon presented me with these gems in the "Inspired by Your Browsing History" section:

The End of All Things by John Scalzi
Old Man's War by John Scalzi
The Human Division by John Scalzi

Nice try, Amazon!

Blogger Kaijubushi September 03, 2015 8:58 AM  

I lold. Too bad the libs in my office won't think it's funny.

Blogger Salt September 03, 2015 9:02 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Eric September 03, 2015 9:03 AM  

Even the way he tweets shows this tendency to be utterly careless.

Speaking of which: "You know, my mom's been married five times. Lots of marriages don't make you a bad person. Denying people their constitutional rights does." - John Scalzi

One almost pities the poor fellow. No wonder he's a hapless gamma.

Anonymous Stingray September 03, 2015 9:04 AM  

And yet, they claim to be the smart ones.

In the world of women's studies and bachelor of philosophy, I'm sure they're quite "smart".

It's like none of them have ever been in a fight before.

When all you know how to do is fight like a woman, fighting with men has got to have a steep learning curve.

Anonymous BGS September 03, 2015 9:07 AM  

If you where exchanging the rapist reputation for a book burning one my love

xe could one day buy xerself a big, beautiful lawn of xer own.

The saddest part is xhe is a cancer survivor and the lawn xhe wanted was a Merkin

Blogger pdwalker September 03, 2015 9:17 AM  

@24 scalzifan123

I'd like to offer a revision to that last title:

"It Takes A Strong Daughter To Keep Me Off"

Anonymous Stingray September 03, 2015 9:18 AM  

As an example, take a look at the response to Scalzi's marriage tweet @53. The first reply seems to call Scalzi's mom a hypocrite. The man the replies at least fairly quickly again to make sure that he's not kicked out of the warren for being misunderstood.

This is how women fight.

Blogger Floyd Looney September 03, 2015 9:19 AM  

Hilarious

Blogger Cail Corishev September 03, 2015 9:21 AM  

"Occasionally books are removed from the Kindle Store for various reasons. We do not have any specific details about why this particular book may have been removed. The book’s publishers decide if a book is to be made available for the Kindle, and they can change this status at any time.

"I kindly suggest you to contact the publisher directly and ask that they make their content available on our website. We will continue to work with publishers directly and ask that they make their content available on Kindle."


Wow, that's some fine weaselese there. The first sentence admits that books are removed sometimes (duh), but puts it in the passive voice so it never actually says who removes them. Then the next few sentences manage to imply -- without ever saying -- that it would have been the publisher who did it. By the last sentence, they've managed to suggest that they'd be glad to sell the book, if only the publisher would get on board. Never once do they admit that Amazon might have anything to say about it.

"Best regards,
Manikandan R"


(Sigh.)

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2015 9:21 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2015 9:26 AM  

This is a really interesting concept. It appears that the cost to enter the Amazon Market are very low (even close to zero?). Thus, these types of parodies/social statements are as easy to make as...a Hitler video parody.

I would love to see this become a meme like the Bunker videos. Thus far, they seem to be focused on one science fiction writer. But why not everything? Why isn't there a parody book about Amazon's actions (banning parodies about a science fiction writer, but, as mentioned, about Bush/Rush Limbaugh/conservative targets). "Amazon Are a Bunch of Big Fat Liars, and Here's the Proof" for only $0.35! "Here's how Theresa Sullivan's Hypocrisy is Destroying UVA, and Why its so Funny!" for only $.20! "How American Immigration Policy is Joke, and What you can do About it!" $0.15! The possibilities are endless.

You've found a good way to get the message out. Use it.

anonymousse

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 9:29 AM  

I'm just finishing the foreword of SJWs Never Lie and I'm already laughing my ass off.

Anonymous Godfrey September 03, 2015 9:33 AM  

STOP! STOP!.... my stomach is hurting and my eyes are watering from so much laughter.

Blogger Daniel September 03, 2015 9:36 AM  

Nothing like a tall glass of socjus in the morning.

Blogger Eric September 03, 2015 9:39 AM  

Evidently Scalzi's tweet refers to the Kentucky clerk who is refusing go along with gay marriage. My mistake.

Blogger JaimeInTexas September 03, 2015 9:40 AM  

Should it not be, SJWs Never Lie: Censorship is Tolerance! Slavery is Freedom! Ignorance is Strength!

The Hitchhiker's Guide To John Scalzi? Do not! Ugh.

Blogger SirHamster (#201) September 03, 2015 9:42 AM  

Easy, Giuseppe, we got plenty of weepers around already.

Don't deny the Italian his cultural heritage.

I vaguely recall that wiki page to be more explicit. I guess trans-racial acceptance has been enforced. Talk page: "Should be listed as a Native American regardless of genetic ancestry."

Anonymous WhiteKnightLeo #0368 September 03, 2015 9:52 AM  

Just finished the new book.

....Jesus Christ, someone had a hammer and was looking to sodomize some witches with it.

OpenID corvinus333 September 03, 2015 9:59 AM  

Now this is really starting to get funny.

Poke Scalzi again.


@30 NorthernHamlet
Thought of the Pillsbury Doughboy for some reason.

Nothing like a tall glass of socjus in the morning.

@62
Bleah. Even sock juice probably tastes better.

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 10:03 AM  

I think we've started a cottage industry.

Anonymous The other robot September 03, 2015 10:14 AM  

I think we've started a cottage industry.

Ahhh, the first stages of a new economy :-)

Blogger beerme #0183 September 03, 2015 10:15 AM  

Someone who has made his living as a creature of the internet era should know better than to mess with the Streisand Effect. I suggest Scalzi buys a case of donut cushions to lessen the butthurt. I just hope Steve doesn't put out a picture book, that would be truly vile and evil.

Anonymous Emperor of Icecream September 03, 2015 10:20 AM  

Side status: split with laughter.

The 40 bucks I spent on the Worldcon membership continues to be some of the best money I ever spent.

Anonymous Emperor of Icecream September 03, 2015 10:24 AM  

"It looks like you already may have some books to nominate for the Rabid Puppies slate next year. There must be a category these can fit into."

!

Best Related Work

[reverent whisper]: genius [/reverent whisper]

Anonymous The other robot September 03, 2015 10:30 AM  

Best parody.

Anonymous The other robot September 03, 2015 10:31 AM  

And quick and fast they came at last ...

I am waiting for the next one. Any time now.

Anonymous Alsos September 03, 2015 10:42 AM  

On "SJWs Never Lie" - "Ritaskeeter Sarkeesian" is perfect. Please, GGers, pick that up and run with it.

Blogger Sean September 03, 2015 10:50 AM  

"I hate every bone in Vox's body, but mine" A story of John Scalzi and his forbidden desire.

Anonymous Donn #0114 September 03, 2015 10:51 AM  

Ha, I called it. Downfall parodies all the way to the bottom. Better not say 'bottom' might trigger those with rape-rape issues. Better say 'all the way down'.

Blogger Danby September 03, 2015 11:03 AM  

@14 VFM #240
. Do you really want to be responsible for killing a man via parody?

Yes. Yes I do. If I had written this, I would be hard at work writing more so I could kill a man with parody. That would be the funniest shit EVAR!

Write more, you magniifcent bastards!

Anonymous REG September 03, 2015 11:07 AM  

I once read one of those Facebook memes, "Never annoy a writer, they will put you into their next book and then kill you." I think we are seeing that come to pass. Ain't it great.

Blogger Joseph Dooley September 03, 2015 11:08 AM  

I laughed so hard at these last 3 posts. Made my morning.

Anonymous Elevator Man September 03, 2015 11:09 AM  

Better say 'all the way down'.


That triggers me!

Anonymous Jack Amok September 03, 2015 11:19 AM  

The only question is can Scalzi's email to Amazon demanding the book be banned win the Hugo for Best Related Work next year. Personally I think Popehat's email 'splaini' why Scalzi has no libel case will win, but everyone has to vote their conscience.

Blogger Quadko September 03, 2015 11:20 AM  

• The Book-Banner of TOR
• Publish and Perish, or "Stop Quoting Me, Dammit", a reflection on how living a life without apology leads to regret
• "I'm not a bigot, I only ban those who disagree with me"
• Choose your friends wisely and your enemies more wisely - the wrong enemies can destroy your chance to reach your goals.
• Agree and amplify doesn't work in all circumstances, use the tactic wisely and appropriately!

Anonymous [Pats head] September 03, 2015 11:22 AM  

Jerk: HA THE EBOOK YOU GOT TAKEN DOWN IS BACK WITH A NEW TITLE
Me: (looks; title doesn't falsely accuse me of rape) that's fine.
Jerk: ...

Blogger IM2L844 September 03, 2015 11:24 AM  

The sun never sets on the VFM.

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 11:32 AM  

Jerk: HA THE EBOOK YOU GOT TAKEN DOWN IS BACK WITH A NEW TITLE
Me: (looks; title doesn't falsely accuse me of rape) that's fine.


It would be beyond awesome if the second page of the ebook was the original (rape-accusation) cover...

Blogger tycho September 03, 2015 11:35 AM  

@6

wonder what day after tomorrow will bring? I can hardly wait (pats pallet of newly delivered microwave popcorn)

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 11:35 AM  

Jerk: HA THE EBOOK YOU GOT TAKEN DOWN IS BACK WITH A NEW TITLE
Me: (looks; title doesn't falsely accuse me of rape) that's fine.
Jerk: ...


Harsh: Uh, Johnny boy, you called yourself a rapist. No one is falsely accusing you of anything.

Johnny Con: No, I never said that.

Harsh: Look here. "Hi! I’m a rapist. I’m one of those men who likes to force myself on women without their consent or desire and then batter them sexually."

Johnny Con: ...

Harsh: You're not very bright, are you?

Blogger Russell (106) September 03, 2015 11:40 AM  

It was polemic, Harsh! Po-lem-ic!

You can't quote him, he's John "The Rough Guide to Money Online" Scalzi!

Anonymous Anonymous September 03, 2015 11:51 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents September 03, 2015 11:58 AM  

Chapter 2, I Do Piss Myself Upon the Puppies by one George R. R. Moretons, begins:

I awakened, and broke wind without delay

Now, that's what I call art.

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 12:10 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous The other robot September 03, 2015 12:19 PM  

Meanwhile, there are FIVE items that come up at Amazon when you search for SJWs Always Lie.

FIVE! Coincidence? I think not!

Anonymous Soga September 03, 2015 12:23 PM  

Just read John Scalzi Banned This Book.

Very well, well worth the $3. I strongly recommend buying it. Let's get it back onto the bestsellers list!

Anonymous The other robot September 03, 2015 12:30 PM  

John Scalzi is a Rapist still appears on NovelRank

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 12:38 PM  

I don't suppose Johnny Con could object if someone published a book called "John Scalzi Denies Being a Rapist", could he? Just sayin'.

Anonymous I Am Irony, Man September 03, 2015 12:42 PM  

Next up on this week's Parody Hit Parade:

1. John Scalzi is a sexist
5. John Scalzi is a racist
5. John Scalzi is a homophobe
5. John Scalzi is a Christophobe
5. John Scalzi is a (whatever), because everybody is. Automatically. Period. End of discussion.

Anonymous The other robot September 03, 2015 12:47 PM  

John Scalzi claims that his previous claim to have been a rapist was just political theater!

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 12:48 PM  

Johnny Con: No, I never said that.

Harsh: Look here. "Hi! I’m a rapist. I’m one of those men who likes to force myself on women without their consent or desire and then batter them sexually."

Johnny Con: ...

Harsh: You're not very bright, are you?


Johnny Con: (sputters) You're deliberately misunderstanding satire!

Blogger Harsh September 03, 2015 1:06 PM  

John Scalzi claims that his previous claim to have been a rapist was just political theater!

Like a parody?

Blogger Anthony Gillis September 03, 2015 1:07 PM  

@36

Patrick will just have to resign himself living with his feelings of inferiority knowing he could never escape Moretons shadow (or gravity).

Xis name is Pratprick, hater!

Anonymous Amok Time September 03, 2015 1:08 PM  

Isn't scalzi that thin layer of grease you scoop off the beef broth to make it lean and tasty?

Anonymous IndecisiveEvidence September 03, 2015 1:10 PM  

Amazon support is farmed out to a bunch of illiterate Indian (slurpee not casino) chucklefucks who can only speak in form letters. You will not reach an American with a complaint.

Blogger Dexter September 03, 2015 1:13 PM  

Parody is sacred! It must never be banned!

Unless it defames me!

Anonymous I Am Irony, Man September 03, 2015 1:23 PM  

"John Scalzi claims that his previous claim to have been a rapist was just political theater!"

John Scalzi also likes to redefine words in the English language in order to support his own cockeyed ideas, by claiming that being racist does not make one a racist, and that being sexist does not make one a sexist, etc.

Too bad the English language <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sexist?s=t>begs to differ with him</a>:

<i>sexist: noun
2. a person <b>who has sexist attitudes</b> or behaves in a sexist manner. </i>

Unlike this so-called "political theater", John Scalzi's claims to be sexist, racist, etc, were completely serious, and should be highlighted in book form in similar fashion.

Or is this a case where the truth runs afoul of libel laws?

Blogger Rabbi B September 03, 2015 1:24 PM  

"It should be absolutely fascinating to see John Scalzi trying to talk Amazon into banning another book . . ."

Hmm . . . I have collected various and sundry Scalzi images and quotes . . . what to do, what to do, . . . what to do . . .

Anonymous I Am Irony, Man September 03, 2015 1:28 PM  

%^#&* tags...

"John Scalzi claims that his previous claim to have been a rapist was just political theater!"

John Scalzi also likes to redefine words in the English language in order to support his own cockeyed ideas, by claiming that being racist does not make one a racist, and that being sexist does not make one a sexist, etc.

Too bad the English language begs to differ with him:

noun
2. a person who has sexist attitudes or behaves in a sexist manner.


Unlike this so-called "political theater", John Scalzi's claims to be sexist, racist, etc, were completely serious, and should be highlighted in book form in similar fashion.

Or is this a case where the truth runs afoul of libel laws?

Blogger Anthony Gillis September 03, 2015 1:37 PM  

When it's aimed at wingnuts and haters, it is parody.
When it's aimed at tolerant people, it's hate speech.
That's why I had it banned, I mean duh.

-John "Fahrenheit" Scalzi

Anonymous Laz September 03, 2015 2:01 PM  

"Isn't scalzi that thin layer of grease you scoop off the beef broth to make it lean and tasty?"

Bad analogy. The grease is where all the flavor is.

Anonymous Jess September 03, 2015 2:16 PM  

I gather he's never seen a comedy team at work, where the straight man delivers the setup and the funny man does the punch line - because he keeps on lining them up.

Anonymous Wild Bill September 03, 2015 2:32 PM  

In grade school we would always play Four Square at recess and there was one kid that everyone would try to get out. In fact, when he stepped into the square, the whole playground would erupt chanting, "Get Tyler out! Get Tyler out!" Scalzi reminds me of that kid.

OpenID crash September 03, 2015 2:33 PM  

Just an observation

While Scalzi had no basis to sue the author of a parody. His actions may well constitute tortious interference and allow the author to sue him.

https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/tortious_interference

Blogger Were-Puppy September 03, 2015 3:11 PM  

Visions of Wendell getting some tortoises to work this case.

Anonymous Donn #0114 September 03, 2015 3:12 PM  

So the last one was beating to death with iron rods then sodomizing the corpse (or is that corpsman?). This one is stringing up the broken remains and using it for .50 cal machine gun practice and the next one? Hellfire missile practice? Nuclear strike from orbit?

Keep the books coming. Somebody is making a fair amount of money for twenty pages at a pop.

Blogger Carl Philipp September 03, 2015 3:44 PM  

@114
If not for the fact that I have a plane to catch in 24 hours, I would be pushing myself to write:
"John Scalzi Is A Rapper: Why SJWs Always Lie In Bed Listening To His Sick Beats: How 'Everything Is Falling Into Place' Changed Xy Life."

In it the author discusses how the beautiful word poetry of Scalzi helped xer come to terms with her own feelings of being victimized, how xze wishes to run away with Scalzi and form a band (Scalzi's teenage daughter would play the drums, of course, and the author would be one of the backup singers), and how since Scalzi takes rap to the pinnacle of its potential as an art form, he deserves to be called something more unique than a rapper. Maybe some combination of "rapper" and "artist?" Like, somebody who masters art is an artist, so what could we call somebody who masters rap? Whatever word we can come up with, John Scalzi is that.

If there's still a market for Scalzi parodies when I get back Tuesday afternoon, perhaps I'll try to crank it out, if I'm not too tired.

Anonymous Curious September 03, 2015 4:01 PM  

While Scalzi had no basis to sue the author of a parody. His actions may well constitute tortious interference and allow the author to sue him.

Wow. Just. Wow!

Blogger Thucydides September 03, 2015 4:51 PM  

Never, ever read posts about SJW behaviour when drinking something.

Just ....don't. It's better that way.

Blogger Anthony Gillis September 03, 2015 7:14 PM  

Wile-E-Scalzi, you truly are a suuuuuper genius!
As of 5:10PM MST 2015/09/03:

SJWs Always Lie - #418 on Amazon USA, #1 in Political Philosophy

John Scalzi Banned This Book - #1753 on Amazon USA, Alexa Erin's masterpiece of love is back to its rightful place at #1 in 30-Minute Humor Short Reads

SJWs Never Lie - #4150 on Amazon USA, #1 in Censorship

Scalzi's beloved and much-hyped "Theo Pratt" bore-fest - #5603 on Amazon USA, and no longer leading any categories

Blogger Sage Klubb September 03, 2015 7:27 PM  

Look at the parody list!

John Scalzi Banned This Book is already back up to #3! SJWs Never Lie has popped up to #7. When Amazon intervened on behalf of the SJWs, their sad little book moved up the list, but now has fallen down to #10.

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Books-Parody/zgbs/books/4473/

Anonymous Toby Temple September 03, 2015 9:35 PM  

OT: Polio vaccine gave rise to a mutant polio virus.

Blogger Carl Philipp September 03, 2015 10:06 PM  

@120 But first it turned a deadly disease from "everybody knows somebody who had it" into "nobody knows somebody who had it."

Anonymous Jim Milo September 03, 2015 11:10 PM  

@70 He knows better. He might figure fanning flames would get him a pity fuc...er, sale.

Anonymous Jim Milo September 03, 2015 11:21 PM  

@120 @121 It's the load, not vaccines himself. Was into my safe recently and checked my vax card... not even close to what they pump into babies today.

https://twitter.com/JimMiloVFM/status/639166362154369025

The vax 'debate' is much like the man made weather debate: too many maguffins. It's immune system load, not the concept, not crap in the vaxes, not preservatives... I mean, I had 10 vaxs by age ten (not shots, MMR is 3 in 1). what does thw average baby today get?

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