Thanksgiving with SJWs

Megan Fox has a Thanksgiving survival guide for those who find themselves forced to eat with SJWs.

Have a Designated Safe Space Ready

If your regressive, overeducated college-aged nephew (who thinks socialism is a new idea) shows up in his glitter beard and neck scarf, and suddenly starts waxing ineloquently about racial discrimination on his campus, immediately show him to the "safe space" you have created just for him in the extra bedroom upstairs, far away from the rest of the family. Make sure to outfit the room with boxes of Kleenex for his tears, some footie pajamas, an Ani DiFranco CD, and some adult coloring books and crayons. Inform him that the family will be ready to receive him back into the slightly less safe space of conversation when he pulls it together.

Emergency Vegan Meal

If your Aunt Miranda complains about animal cruelty and starts to try to convert you to veganism, grab the Morningstar frozen dinner you have stashed away for just this moment and throw it in the microwave. Serve it to her in the plastic tray. Don't allow her to go near the homemade stuffing (it has chicken broth in it!) or the handmade pies (those migrant workers who picked those apples were poorly treated!) and slap her hand when she goes for Gramma's awesome cheeseball (dairy cows are people too!). Make sure everyone knows that Aunt Miranda can't possibly touch anything other than her frozen vegan tofurkey because nothing else in the house is "fair-trade" or "cruelty-free." No one would want to force Aunt Miranda to compromise her values.

You might also want to keep a copy of SJWs Always Lie at hand. Just open it when they are talking and occasionally nod and say "check" as they are rambling on about the moral imperative of housing Syrian refugees or how global warming caused the third great wave of Islamic expansion.