Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Rabid Puppies press release

This is the text of the press release that went out to the media yesterday.

RABID PUPPIES 2016 Make the Hugos Great

On the heels of last year's magnificent campaign, which successfully placed 58 of its 67 recommended nominees on the ballot and inspired no less than 5 No Awards, the Supreme Dark Lord of the Evil Legion of Evil is proud to Make the Hugos Great Again by announcing his recommendations for the 2016 Hugo Awards.

"Many of the things that were said about the Puppies last year by luminaries of the field such as George R.R. Martin, David Gerrold, and John Scalzi were deeply hurtful," said Vox Day, as he quaffed blood from the silvered skull of an SJW. "But I think we've learned from our past mistakes and put together a kindler, gentler, list of recommendations that will entertain the casual reader of science fiction and fantasy, as well as inform the more serious observers of the field what a ghastly collection of criminally sick freaks have been inhabiting the community of science fiction fandom for decades."

Some of the more notable recommendations include:
  • Moira Greyland's account of her childhood abuse at the hands of her mother, the award-winning science fiction writer Marion Zimmer Bradley
  • Five-time 2015 Hugo nominee John C. Wright's novel Somewhither: A Tale of the Unwithering Realm.
  • SF great Jerry Pournelle, whose groundbreaking There Will Be War series returned after a 25-year absence due to the end of the Cold War.
  • "Safe Space as Rape Room", a five-part series on the pedophiles and child molesters who have preyed upon children in the science fiction community.
  • "Space Raptor Butt Invasion", a sensuous space romance that is a tribute to true diversity in science fiction.
A complete list of the recommendations for all 16 categories, including the 2016 Campbell Award for Best New Writer, can be found here: Rabid Puppies 2016.

"You may now commence the ritual denunciations," the Supreme Dark Lord added. "Open up your hate and let it flow into me."

About the Supreme Dark Lord

Described as "the most despised man in science fiction", Vox Day is a three-time Hugo Awards nominee, the Lead Editor of Castalia House, and a bestselling political philosopher. His blogs, Vox Popoli and Alpha Game, average 2.2 million pageviews per month.
  • “I think I have made my disgust with Vox Day and his Rabid Puppies clear.” —George R. R. Martin, author of A Game of Thrones, 19-time Hugo nominee.
  • “Vox Day rises all the way to 'downright evil'.” —Patrick Nielsen Hayden, Manager of Science Fiction, Tor Books, 15-time Hugo nominee
  • “Vox Day is a real bigoted shithole of a human being.” —John Scalzi, author of Redshirts, 9-time Hugo nominee
  • “SF esteems Vox Day more than me. That's a hard pill to swallow.” —Adam Roberts, Campbell Memorial Award winner.

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Blogger Packer Backer March 22, 2016 11:10 AM  

I just love this blog. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth to be certain. The torment this unleashes is sadistically entertaining. I am torn between the manifestation of compassion on such fools and the desire for humanity to be rid of their insanity.

Blogger jay c March 22, 2016 11:11 AM  

That is a thing of beauty.

Blogger Alexander March 22, 2016 11:12 AM  

My Lord,

I too have learned from my past missed stakes. Certainly, I did not fully appreciate the hollow chests and absent hearts of our enemies, nor how much empty space resided within their heads, not just how well padded against deep piercing they tend to be, from chins to cankles.

Happily, I have solved the problem. Henceforth, we shall simply impale our enemies through the existing egress, and not concern ourselves with lancing any particular internal organ.

This should prove doubly effective for though we have found them to be almost uniformly lacking in hearts or minds, they are to a manlette absolutely full of shit.

VFM #0010

Anonymous Michael Maier March 22, 2016 11:13 AM  

Now THAT's a press release!

Blogger Krul March 22, 2016 11:13 AM  

Roll call

Anonymous Spartacus xxxxx March 22, 2016 11:14 AM  

There's a grabber. Someone has been getting some excellent marketing advice from someone.

Blogger vfm4258 March 22, 2016 11:18 AM  

Ah, I hear the dinner bell. Thank you, Dark Lord.

Blogger The Daily Ground Hog March 22, 2016 11:18 AM  

feel the hate....the dark side is powerful

Seriously, it's always nice when even your enemies speak well of you. You want to get that out there so people can apply appropriate levels of loathng.

Blogger maniacprovost March 22, 2016 11:22 AM  

John Scalzi, author of Redshirts

Ouch. You are truly meticulous in your attention to cruelty.

Blogger Beau March 22, 2016 11:38 AM  

This press release is the literary equivalent of Babe Ruth pointing at the center-field bleachers during the fifth inning of Game 3 of 1932 World Series.

Blogger lowercaseb March 22, 2016 11:40 AM  

Krul wrote:Roll call

of is a bit frustrating to run an evil legion of evil.

Anonymous VFM #6036 March 22, 2016 11:45 AM  

Ha ha. The Unwitting Minions at File 770 are already carrying the water. Let's call them Gunga Dim.

Anonymous VFM #7916 March 22, 2016 11:45 AM  


Actually, I think evil can co-operate better than good these days, since "good" prefers to shoot the bro to the right...

Anonymous Geretrudis March 22, 2016 11:46 AM  

That was beautiful. *wipes tear*. Made my ovaries clench with desire.

Blogger Rabbi B March 22, 2016 11:50 AM  

There is no language known to man which can adequately convey the awesomeness of this press release.

Profoundly moving.

Blogger VFM #407 March 22, 2016 12:00 PM  

It puts the "No Award" on its skin or else it gets the Puppies again.

Anonymous VFM #6036 March 22, 2016 12:02 PM  

Be Great: Vote Slate!

Blogger slarrow March 22, 2016 12:04 PM  

Vox, you magnificent bastard.

Blogger Student in Blue March 22, 2016 12:06 PM  

•"Safe Space as Rape Room, a five-part series on the pedophiles and child molesters who have preyed upon children in the science fiction community.

Needs a closing quotation mark.

Anonymous Leonidas March 22, 2016 12:09 PM  

This is the single most amazing press release I've ever seen - and probably the most amazing that I'll ever see.

Anonymous VFM #4893245678 March 22, 2016 12:11 PM  


Question: Is Space Raptor Butt Invasion a sequel to If You Were a Dinosaur My Love?

Blogger GK Chesterton March 22, 2016 12:11 PM  

I, alas, am not a minion. But anyone that sticks it to the man with velociraptor porn gets my vote.

Burn them down.

Anonymous VFM #6036 March 22, 2016 12:14 PM  

@19 Eh, and the proper term for transforming SJW bones into kindling is not, in fact, "kindler" but "faggotting," but the style is what matters, and this version has that in spades. Through the heart. The sweet, soft, trembling heart.

Anonymous BluePony March 22, 2016 12:16 PM  

"Love the guy. I've learned a thing or two from him." - Satan

"We've synergized whole new paradigms of misery for our agony-supplicants just by watching him." - Undermistress Yub-Grueslik, Realm Of Hate, Human Resources Department

"4.5 out of 5. Would have my skull cap drunk from by him again." - random "reformed" SJW

Blogger Conan the Cimmerian March 22, 2016 12:46 PM  

Pitch Perfect

Blogger Sir Thermite March 22, 2016 12:49 PM  

Prettier than a daisy cutter and more efficient than Ebolavirus protein. Well done!

Anonymous Emperor of Icecream March 22, 2016 12:54 PM  

My Hugo membership continues to produce more fun per dollar than any other money I've spent.

I hope I can vote for this literary masterpiece of a press release next year.

Blogger Verne March 22, 2016 1:05 PM  

Have they figured out that just maybe, they never should have let their hate of your political opinions, drive them to personally slander you? Then with no justifiable cause, throw you out of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America.

What an enemy, their own hate has brought to them. It's karma baby

Blogger Gunnar von Cowtown March 22, 2016 1:39 PM  

@21 I thought "Space Raptor Butt Invasion" was just a construct for rhetorical/satirical lolz. However, according to Amazon, it's.... actually a thing. To answer your question, it appears unrelated to "If You Were a Dinosaur, My Love". Different author, gay-dino-pr0n instead of hetero-dino-pr0n, different setting, etc.

Anonymous Tom Thumb March 22, 2016 1:45 PM  

Will any of the of the places this was mailed to report on it, or was this just a way to troll some media outlets?

Blogger VD March 22, 2016 1:56 PM  

Will any of the of the places this was mailed to report on it, or was this just a way to troll some media outlets?

No idea. That's their call. My guess is that they won't cover either side this year.

Anonymous BGKB March 22, 2016 2:05 PM  

I present "If you where a dinosaur away from that nice Sheriff's territory my love" The Hugo award winning tale of the slightly smarter BLM.

Anonymous Dave March 22, 2016 2:11 PM  

Oh No You Di'n't!

Blogger Raziel Walker March 22, 2016 2:39 PM  

+1, made me laugh.

Blogger Didact March 22, 2016 2:41 PM  

That was... truly... there are no words.

You have outdone yourself, Dark Lord.

Let the SJW bedwetting and headsploding begin!!!

Blogger SciVo March 22, 2016 2:49 PM  

As an aspiring cruelty artist, I'm in awe. That is a magnum opus, with shivs aplenty and twisted gently. Bravo!

Blogger SteelPalm March 22, 2016 3:38 PM  

Good press release, starting off with some humor before going for the jugular with the SJW rapists. And then ending with more humor.

Blogger Brian March 22, 2016 4:48 PM  

And to think, the ride hasn't even started yet.

I hope it never stops.

Anonymous Jill March 22, 2016 5:08 PM  

I'm sticking to my guns. Scifi needs more werewolf sex. 0/4 stars.

Blogger Sean March 22, 2016 5:21 PM  

Every press release, regardless of company or topic, should include the words "Space Raptor Butt Invasion" for all perpetuity forward.

Blogger Sean March 22, 2016 5:22 PM  

Every press release, regardless of company or topic, should include the words "Space Raptor Butt Invasion" for all perpetuity forward.

Anonymous Anonymous March 22, 2016 5:36 PM  

Sean wrote:Every press release, regardless of company or topic, should include the words "Space Raptor Butt Invasion" for all perpetuity forward.

And... every post as well.


Blogger JimR March 22, 2016 7:45 PM  

This press release deserves a nomination for "best related works" in the 2017 Hugos

Assuming they can put out the fires and fill the craters in time.

Anonymous Clay March 22, 2016 7:50 PM  

Wow. And here, I thought, Vox was just a little horse-hating person.

Just goes to show...

And, no...."butt invasion" was surpassed by "Pigs In The Azaleas" many, many, moons ago.

Anonymous Anonymous March 22, 2016 8:12 PM  

This crept it's way into the file 770 comments on the related work conversation.

TW, you *do* realize that things that would be regarded now as pedophilia were a standard practice, and in one example I can think of a *mandatory* practice, in several societies other than the modern West, right?

And that our dealings with pedophilia are tainted by the moral panic that have transformed it into a modern witchhunt – the modern West as a whole can no more deal with the topic any more fairly than medieval Christian Europe could have evaluated Wicca if confronted by it. It’s just that paranoia that little Teddy Beale is trying to tap into with his childish smear campaign.

This while there are pages and pages of denials that anyone is apologizing for pedophilia. The funny part is the other commentators just take it in stride and act like it isn't there. The simultaneous attack on Christianity makes it even more damning.

Anonymous Rolf March 22, 2016 8:49 PM  

It's good to see you were able to hire Jack Webb to write your presser.

"Just the facts, ma'am."

Blogger JaimeInTexas March 22, 2016 8:52 PM  

I am LMAO thatcI cannot tell if its a press release for real. Regardless, it is good, really good.

Blogger epobirs March 22, 2016 9:34 PM  


I wonder if this quoted idiot is aware that Wicca was cooked up in the 1950s and was never an issue for Medieval Europe?

Nor were any of the pedophilia offenders members of anything other than Modern Western culture, which is the only place SF fandom was found for most of their lifetimes, as an offshoot of the general wealth of Modern Western culture compared to the average run of humanity. Just because some awful long dead bunch thought kiddy diddling was cool 1400 years ago doesn't excuse it for anyone born and raised in the West any time in the last century or so.

Blogger 1337kestrel March 22, 2016 10:18 PM  

We always hear about how stupid and evil Christians were for burning witches, when there are obviously no such things as witches... oh, but modern day, self professed witches are good people!

Blogger John Wright March 23, 2016 2:31 AM  

I have a modest proposal:

We always hear about how stupid and evil Christians were for burning witches, but if medieval witches were overweight yet self-important nagging butchy narcissistic sexual deviants with purple hair and tattoos urging (in sneering, holier-than-thou terms) the Christians to be accepting of kiddy-diddling, one would think a quick yet fair trial, a legal conviction, and a whiner roast would both increase the average IQ of the average medieval town, and lower its mean average of mean-spirited neurotic anger.

The net result would be a calmer, wiser people.

Historically speaking this culling process perhaps meant that the average increase over time of calm and cranial capacity would usher in the legal, scientific and industrial revolutions for which we in the West are rightfully proud.

I submit that all the progress of the modern world rests solely on the historically beneficial side effects of witch burning.

Rome had a huge purge of witches in her pagan days, larger than any Christian one, and then she won the Punic Wars and expanded to a continental empire. Coincidence? I think not!

I suggest scholarly study be made of the eugenic and beneficial side effects of the conviction and incineration of witches in the modern day?

Done purely in the interests of science to see if earthquakes, blights, cow disease, or ecological disorders which witches claim to be able, by their arts, to influence, would go down. Let us not be closed minded on the topic.

And if the peace and good order returned to society, and the average civility of men or the average good looks in women went up, so much the better.

Anyone who opposes my idea is AGAINST SCIENCE!

Blogger Aeoli Pera March 23, 2016 6:11 AM  

Godspeed. Nuke it.

Anonymous Anonymous May 06, 2016 12:40 AM  

I legitimately hope someone murders you.

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