Remember, women NEVER LIE about rape
I cannot believe this. I am LITERALLY shaking with rage right now. This woman was RAPED and yet neither her husband nor the police believe her. WOMEN NEVER LIE ABOUT RAPE!
Police say a young woman has lodged a formal complaint that she has been raped - by a Pokemon. She told officers that she had been sexually assaulted by a giant Pokemon in her apartment in the Russian capital city of Moscow.If you don't believe that Pokemon rape is real, you are part of the problem. Pokemon is rape culture.
The married woman, whose name has not been released, had reportedly been playing Pokemon GO before she fell asleep. She claimed that she woke up to find a huge Pokemon lying on top of her body and says it was raping her.
The woman says the Pokemon disappeared when she jumped out of bed - but says the Pokemon GO app on her phone could still detect the same virtual character's presence on her bed.
She woke up her husband to tell her what had happened who told police officers that he did not believe her and told her to see a psychiatrist. Russian news website Bloknot reports that the police did not believe her either.
94 Comments:
Oh no. Rape has evolved.
Don't get poked by the Pokeman. Pokeman is the new Slender Man.
Best Tools For Men
My God, the snark just writes itself on this one, doesn't it?
#NotAllPokemon
#PokeRape
I chose you Pokeboner.
I believe WOMEN!!
lawnmower man is back
Gengar are notorious for this. Warning: Graphic Photo
I have not downloaded Pokemon GO. So I am safe, I think...
Russian police advised the husband: "Slap the stupid out of your wife, eh? A woman is not a pot, she won't break when you hit her."*
* Actual Russian proverb!
"I literallly can't even..."
Feels like a perfectly reasonable response to this.
What drugs is she on? I mean, sometimes my game playing induces weird stuff without enhancing drug use, but when fully awake, my sensibilities are intact.
Was it a Dicklet?
Was it a Bilclintachu?
Of course not, just ask Steve Sailer.
But geez, Pokemon GO? That just left me dumbfounded. A new level in idiocy, a video game character ''raped''.
Anyone familer with the game series knows that sex and death are topics that are very carefully handled - as in very vaugely implied only. Remember the game series was created for a pre-teen audience.
Was it a tentaclemon?
Pi-ka...pika...pika pika pikapikapikapika PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUU!! PIKACHUUUUU!!! OH, oh, pika, pika pika pika, zzzzzzzzzzz.
Was it a Dicklet? Milo has been leveling up his nigglets.
#AllPokémonDicksMatter
New Game technique revealed: dress up as a Pikachu and have sex while wearing it. If she regrets it later, the only thing she can tell them is that Pikachu raped her.
Yes, yes very interesting. But let's get to the crux of the matter.
Assuming she caught the rape, what are its base stats?
Sentient Spud wrote:Gengar are notorious for this. Warning: Graphic Photo
Deleted. Tinypic doesn't like NSFW. But yeah, there's TONS of rule 34 Pokemon fanart, you name it, every combination of human or creature character you can think of. Google it with Safe Search off, NSFW of course, prepare to have your mind blown.
Was it a Smeargle
Stay away from cheap Vodka.
Well it's the Pokémon people's fault for putting Dildoga in the game....
Rapeceratops uses Trigger!
It's Super Effective!
Those Japanese are freaks!
http://nextshark.com/japanese-people-using-female-vibrators-cheat-pokemon-go/
And if that's not enough, then Google Japanese toys. Visual train wreck! You can't stop looking.
I shared an etsy page that sold pokemon based sex toys... including a pikachu tail shaped butt plug that was particarly disturbing.
The worst part though.. was the male commenters who lamented that there were no male centric toys available.
So apparently there is are people out there that actually want to masturbate with a pikachu.
this is why we drink.
This is why affirmative consent is so crucial. Rape wouldn't have happened, Pokemon can't even speak English.
She woke up her husband to tell her what had happened who told police officers that he did not believe her and told her to see a psychiatrist.
I normally don't think too highly of shrinks, but this poor shink I can feel sorry for.
Pics or it didn't happen. Video would be better though.
I'm starting to come around to the Victorian female Hysteria concept. You do know that's where vibrators originated.
The mechanical ones, not the ancient sex rites ones.
I don't know, I half-buy it. Sounds no stranger than some furry conventions I've heard about.
She wanted Godzilla, but only got Pokemon.
Squirrtled all over the place
@33 She wanted Godzilla, but only got Pokemon.
Are you implying that this was regret rape?
Maybe she'd have different feelings if a Charizard had jumped her.
Probably a Cosbychu.
@20 You haven't even found out if they're in compatible Egg Groups yet.
I can't even...
Ingot9455 wrote:@20 You haven't even found out if they're in compatible Egg Groups yet.
Pair it off with a Ditto, it's the only one that can genuinly be called 'genderless'. You match it with any other and it morphs to the opposite sex copy of the other one.
Either she had an affair and is worried she's pregnant and panicked, or she's honestly lost it and should be talking to a psychaitrist.
It sounds like sleep paralysis, and because she might not believe in demons or aliens, and because the last thing in her conscious mind was Pokemon GO, she experienced a pokemon raping her, hilarious!
Gotta F em all!
Was Michelle Fields a Russian twin adopted at birth by Americans? If this had happened in the United States, police would be interviewing men who look like Pokémon.
She probably just had sleep paralysis.
It was actually Vldamir Putin dressed up as a the giant Pokemon.
He is, after all, a war criminal and the Hitler of our time. And a Pokemon dress-up rapist, too!
"this is why we drink."
Nate, don't tell me you save the good stuff for this.
Her husband was next to her while she was allegedly raped. Not a good sign for the husband.
This woman's husband needs to sell her to the circus. Then knock up an 18 year old Russian babe.
"Nate, don't tell me you save the good stuff for this."
No. No this is what Wild Turkey 101 is for.
What level was she at? Asking for a friend.
VD,
I am LITERALLY shaking with rage right now.
About a decade on this blog, and you almost got me with that one.
But who doesn't love the old lightening rod of the classic Rapechu?
#notallpokemon
Porkemon.
"I shared an etsy page that sold pokemon based sex toys"
How, exactly, does one accidentally acquire the knowledge of such a page?
"Either she had an affair and is worried she's pregnant and panicked, or she's honestly lost it and should be talking to a psychiatrist."
What good would that do?
"Gotta F em all!"
#LoveWins!
Never mind, Nate. Lemme guess. You got Orville rolled.
"WOMEN NEVER LIE ABOUT RAPE!" unless Hillary Clinton is defending the perp...or the perp goes "Hallah hallah hallah!"
This certainly explains all the "Sorry your wife was raped by Pokemon" greeting cards hitting the Moscow stores lately.
@53
You're asking for a friend, right?
Must have been one of those rare Red CommiePuffs
In her defense, I'm going to suggest she is suffering from massive sleep deprivation, or even narcolepsy.
But yeah, it's an illusion :P
Is it weird if I found her story highly arousing?
@47 Timmy3
Her husband was next to her while she was allegedly raped. Not a good sign for the husband.
---
He is a rare subbreed of Cuck, the Pokeservative
"Is it weird if I found her story highly arousing?"
are you japanese?
Then I guess that old saying is true,
"In Russia, the Game plays You"
"How, exactly, does one accidentally acquire the knowledge of such a page?"
dudeiwantthat.com
Also how I learned butthole shaped chocolate candy was a thing.
Whatever you do, don't type "Dog Pikachu" into the search box on YouTube
honeslty I'm tempted to start putting pokemon stuffed animals onto male masturbation sleeves and selling them online.
it would be huge in japan... and... judging by twitter... among gamergate.
I could even make it scream "PIKA! PEEEEEEKAAAACHOOOOO!" every so often while in use.
If she didn't want it, she should have used repel.
also... given the traffic numbers of this blog... at least 3 people read my last comment and got aroused.
this is also why we drink.
Nate wrote:honeslty I'm tempted to start putting pokemon stuffed animals onto male masturbation sleeves and selling them online.
it would be huge in japan... and... judging by twitter... among gamergate.
I could even make it scream "PIKA! PEEEEEEKAAAACHOOOOO!" every so often while in use.
Well, it's already been done for (NSFW) My Little Pony so why not?
"Well, it's already been done for (NSFW) My Little Pony so why not? "
...
Shut her down boys. Pack it up. The earth is done.
I could even make it scream "PIKA! PEEEEEEKAAAACHOOOOO!" every so often while in use.
Nate, with that level of personal service you'd have a sure-fire hit on your hands.
It needs to be said often and hard to those who're uninformed...
Traditional Western society was created primarily to prevent women from believing their own bullshit. When men stop putting in the hard work to sustain such tradition, then women quickly succumb to their innate narcissistic tendencies, and pull the rest of society down with them. Women are no more prone to being abused than men, but have been allowed to destroy Western civilization simply to cater to their lack of responsibility for their own feelings.
A quick Amazon search reveals a variety of Pokemon costumes for sale. Disturbingly, most of them are for children.
"Also how I learned butthole shaped chocolate candy was a thing."
WHAT
Hypnopompia.
Incubus?
Literally Hitler wrote:She probably just had sleep paralysis.
Yup. Still probably a bit off in the head though, most people would just say WTF and keep it to themselves.
This is what we get for bringing Pokemon into our world. They need to go back.
The inter-dimensional gateway has ben breached. It's Pokemon now, all the way down.
Probably made up, but could be a case of incubus.
Don't laugh. The mother of Alexander the Great, Olympias, was raped by Zeus.
You can't spell Pokemon without "Poke".
It was just doing what had to be done to protect her from the alien with the anal probe.
"WHAT"
I shit you not.
no pun intended.
Look we either bombed japan to much... or not enough.
"Don't laugh. The mother of Alexander the Great, Olympias, was raped by Zeus."
I believe the Genesis 6 account of fallen angels (Nephalim) and earth women producing the great, giant men of renown (Rephaim). Many if not most creation myths concern the sky coming into the earth to produce the gods, and this can be a reference to angels coming down to the earth from the sky and mating with women. (Osiris's golden phallus can be an allusion to the belief that a woman having sex with these beings will cause her to give birth to a god.)
The Rephaim before the flood (and perhaps after) are the demons of today. Their sexual appetites have not waned and are expressed in many of the sins that they lead people into, especially when possessing them. I don't know if incubus and succubus are a physical thing or something one experiences in dreams and nightmares. The former seems more feasible, though some people claim to have gotten physically beaten up in the process.
I know some Christians who carefully and prayerfully do spiritualism and demon research. A few years ago, they interviewed a former witch doctor in Africa. He was able to name each Pokemon demon by its picture. And give some information about what type of demon it was and its behavior.
The creators make it cute - Oh, it's a Pocket Monster, so cute and fun!
In my opinion, it is like selling the Ouija board in the game section of the toy store. Thanks Parker Brothers.
I wouldn't bet too much against this woman's story having some factual basis. But if true, this husband has bigger problems than just a rape fantasy gone wild.
Lulabelle wrote:"Also how I learned butthole shaped chocolate candy was a thing."
WHAT
Ask the GOOGLE about the Japanese Fertility Festival and look at the images.
I have two memorial suckers on a stick. One is male, and one is female genitalia.
And no, I have not tried them.
That is my story and I am sticking to it.
Sticking...
to...
it...
Nate wrote:Look we either bombed japan to much... or not enough.
I'll take "not enough" for $200, Nate.
Look at their house address system:
FFS
If the whole thing hadda been bombed to oblivion, they might have to rebuild sensible like.
Ain wrote:I believe the Genesis 6 account of fallen angels (Nephalim) and earth women producing the great, giant men of renown (Rephaim)
Ask THE GOOGLE about "giant mid-east skeletons"
Plenty of archeological evidence. This is why the Hebrews were told to commit genocide in the Promised Land.
Apropos of absolutely nothing, some research results from the esteemed Dr. Ho Li Fuk-
http://michaelbach.de/ot/mot-mib/index.html
Hmmm, how to walk this back onto topic? Onto every. single. topic?
Lazarus, well said. It's also the reason for the great flood.
The days of Noah were interesting times.
Ain wrote:"Don't laugh. The mother of Alexander the Great, Olympias, was raped by Zeus."
I believe the Genesis 6 account of fallen angels (Nephalim) and earth women producing the great, giant men of renown (Rephaim). Many if not most creation myths concern the sky coming into the earth to produce the gods, and this can be a reference to angels coming down to the earth from the sky and mating with women. (Osiris's golden phallus can be an allusion to the belief that a woman having sex with these beings will cause her to give birth to a god.)
The Rephaim before the flood (and perhaps after) are the demons of today. Their sexual appetites have not waned and are expressed in many of the sins that they lead people into, especially when possessing them. I don't know if incubus and succubus are a physical thing or something one experiences in dreams and nightmares. The former seems more feasible, though some people claim to have gotten physically beaten up in the process.
Yeah... I first read this story and my mind jumped immediately to it being an incubus or some other kind of sleep-demon. If we start seeing a rash of such attacks reported... it might be something worth getting concerned over.
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