Wednesday, September 07, 2016

Social Justice magazine

This looks more entertaining than 99 percent of the magazines in the average magazine rack. Seriously, the only thing that befuddles me more than the decision to fund some of the magazines out there is the movies that are made these days.

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Blogger Noah B September 07, 2016 2:08 PM  

Kek (praise be unto him) is truly merciful.

Anonymous WinstonWebb September 07, 2016 2:09 PM  

This mag could rightly be titled "Poe's Law Illustrated"

Blogger Doom September 07, 2016 2:12 PM  

Just in time for the end of the universal empire... or beginning of it. Either way it is as a fly about to be swatted. Doesn't matter which side wins... or for how long. Although, wasn't there a movie about a group that kept the majority docile, at ease, and free range, right until... Yeah.

Blogger Whisker biscuit September 07, 2016 2:21 PM  

Next issues cover gal: Lena Durham.

"It's misogyistic and sexist for a male to reject our sexual overtures."

Blogger Whisker biscuit September 07, 2016 2:23 PM  


Anonymous Farnswords September 07, 2016 2:23 PM  

@2, WinstonWebb

So true, the consent headline is quite believable.

Blogger Johnny September 07, 2016 2:26 PM  

How to be Proud of Being Dysfunctional: Blame Whitey

Blogger ghostfromplanetspook September 07, 2016 2:31 PM  

If SJWs had a theme song it'd be a deflating balloon over white noise.

Blogger dc.sunsets September 07, 2016 2:38 PM  

This is also massively funnier than The Onion.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash September 07, 2016 2:43 PM  

Seriously, the only thing that befuddles me more than the decision to fund some of the magazines out there is the movies that are made these days.

The magazines are produced for advertisers, not readers. Mu daughter, who has never subscribed to a magazine in her life, gets at least 2 magazines in the mail every week. Hundreds of pounds of glossy paper every year, most of which is of no interest to her, Elle Decor, Whore-mopolitan, etc.

Interestingly, Redbook has gone from the magazine my mother ditched when they went full-bore sexual revolution in the seventies, through the firey hell of being Rosie O'Donnell magazine in the 80s, back to being a magazine aimed at wives and mothers.

Blogger dc.sunsets September 07, 2016 2:50 PM  

No befuddlement necessary. When people treat the IOU's of others as wealth, wealth is created by borrowing (no matter how much of a waste of money is the resultant spending.)

Under this regime of Monetary Madness, borrowing to prop up a capital-consumption black hole (e.g., the NYT, any of its POS sisters in the "news" media, Elon Musk's latest con job, the New Solyndra, the local franchise of George Soros' BLM, etc.) is actually an engine of wealth creation. [I know everyone knows this, btw.]

Since 1964/1971 up is down, left is right, black is white or green or blue and words are what we say they are at this moment, which can change in the next.

This perspective makes me wonder just what, exactly, is real nowadays. When Apple's market cap is larger than Exxon/Mobil's, and when Google (whose primary business is---what?---exactly?) is a force to be reckoned with, I'm no longer certain there's any there, there.

When this surreal period of borrowing-as-wealth-creation ends, I'm not sure what will be left standing, but I doubt what's thriving today will be among it. The entire world looks like a crack-whore to me, so addicted is it to the credit bubble.

Blogger VoodooJock September 07, 2016 2:51 PM  

I'm eternally grateful that Trigglypuff didn't rate the centerfold...

Blogger lowercaseb September 07, 2016 2:58 PM  

VoodooJock wrote:I'm eternally grateful that Trigglypuff didn't rate the centerfold...


Blogger jaericho September 07, 2016 3:10 PM  

Damn, that's a lot of comic sans.

Blogger dc.sunsets September 07, 2016 3:11 PM  

I'm eternally grateful that Trigglypuff didn't rate the centerfold...

Shake, shake, shake...
Shake, shake, shake...
Shake your bootay, shake your bootay.

"Oooh, Chester, did you see the upper arms on that gal? Who needs double-D's when you can have triple-G's?"

Anonymous tublecane September 07, 2016 3:17 PM  

You'd think the advertisers want readers. That's what they're paying for, isn't it?

It's not like with the NYT, where they don't necessarily need readers because it's worth it to them to subsidize favored writers and get the marching orders out to the faithful. They can go on snubbing normal people forever. Magazines aren't like that, or most of them aren't. Presumably National Review and the New Republic are useful to somebody. But what's People if no people read it?

So the question becomes: who's buying People, and why on earth?

Blogger pyrrhus September 07, 2016 3:22 PM  

Yes, the NYT will be around as long as Carlos Slim keeps coughing up hundreds of millions to subsidize it as a sheer propaganda rag....but these magazines are being subsidized by the taxpayers, one way or another....

Anonymous tublecane September 07, 2016 3:26 PM  

@9-Regarding Redbook, I used to find that laying around at work. On the rare occasion I paged through, it was all Why He's Too Lazy to Find Your G-spot and How to Find 20 Cocks to Suck Tonight, inbetween recipes and decorating your living room with found driftwood.

One article, which I found amusing, described a singles party at a bar which had the men wear their annual salary and erect penis length on their shirts. Which was supposed to be equitable, because men judge women based purely on what's readily apparent, which of course is BS. I find it funny what it reveals about what women think women are interested in, namely money and dick.

Anonymous WaterBoy September 07, 2016 3:27 PM  

tublecane @15: "So the question becomes: who's buying People"


People who need People.

Anonymous Napoleon 12pdr September 07, 2016 3:37 PM  

Reading these covers, I suspect there would be a decent market for satirical articles to go with them. The only problem being that today's satire is tomorrow's reality. Duffel Blog being the most notorious example.

Blogger Nate September 07, 2016 3:46 PM  

Proverbs 6:16-19

There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:

haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,

a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,

a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community

Ya know what all that means?

It means God Hates SJWS.

Blogger Fatherless September 07, 2016 3:48 PM  

Oddly chagrined you didn't call it "pozzmopolitan"

Anonymous BGKB September 07, 2016 3:49 PM  

Just so we are clear this is satire right?

"So the question becomes: who's buying People"

The legal slave trade is mostly moslem, but in the US blacks try to get white girls hooked on crack to pimp them out. As seen in the recent "Once you go black you are addicted to crack or an alligator snack" post from last week.

Blogger Dexter September 07, 2016 4:14 PM  

Cover too white, needs a hideous diversitoid or pillow biter.

Anonymous LastRedoubt September 07, 2016 4:16 PM  

@Whisker biscuit


^H^H^H^H^H^H Dunwich

Anonymous AzDesertRat September 07, 2016 4:24 PM  

@19 Napolean 12pdr

I had no idea what Duffel Blog was, just checked it out. Best laugh I've had week to date. Thanks.

Anonymous tublecane September 07, 2016 4:40 PM  

@23-Pillow biters like her because she looks like a boy.

Blogger Robert What? September 07, 2016 5:11 PM  

This is a goof, right? Right? Pity the poor writers at The Onion. How are you going to write satire for a living when real life has become satire?

Blogger lowercaseb September 07, 2016 6:07 PM  

LastRedoubt wrote:@Whisker biscuit


^H^H^H^H^H^H Dunwich

ahhh...that is reassuring. Soon the transformation will be complete and she will return to the sea.

Anonymous Spartacus xxxxx September 07, 2016 6:12 PM  

Couple problems with this. Although the white representation is lowered to a barely-acceptable 33%*, that appears to be a white boy on the left. For a magazine cover, it should be either a girl of white or a Girl of Color, with the white boys, if any, moved to the back of the bus. Fuhrermore, and most concerning, the white boy has his arm raised up, an obvious act of macroaggression. If that's not enough, IT'S HIS RIGHT ARM, people.

*It is lower than the 40% ceiling permitted by McGraw-Hill.

The publisher needs some diversity intervention and guidance. Yahoo does it right-

Notice no white girls are allowed anywhere near the white boy, who really didn't need to be in this picture in the first place. The women of white are to be closely attended by Blacks, or the occasional Asian. If the boy of white, or dead white male, is permitted to raise his arm, it must be visibly lower than the raised arms of the People of Color that surround him, and it should be placed behind them.

Anonymous VFM #6306 September 07, 2016 6:15 PM  

People who need People are the luckiest people in People.

The rest are likely Monarch slaves in a Crowleyan fame ritual involving a goat and a casting couch.

Blogger collisioncat67 September 07, 2016 7:34 PM  

Sport the magazine cover tee-shirt and tote bag and your virtue signaling will blow the doors off all the other coffee shop hipsters and hipstresses.

Anonymous JAG September 07, 2016 8:00 PM  

lowercaseb wrote:VoodooJock wrote:I'm eternally grateful that Trigglypuff didn't rate the centerfold...


Too late! Next issue... eye bleach...

Anonymous dr kill September 07, 2016 8:08 PM  

I don't know of what your usual periodical fare consists, but Emma Watson does not have a 'standard magazine rack', IYKWIMAITYD. Lacking.

Blogger Cecil Henry September 07, 2016 8:29 PM  

Is this magazine for real or a massive Troll??

Because I just can't believe it.

I just assumed this level of idiocy must be a troll

Blogger Ken Prescott September 07, 2016 8:54 PM  


"Hundreds of pounds of glossy paper every year, most of which is of no interest to her, Elle Decor, Whore-mopolitan, etc."

Made from the really expensive, four-color glossy trees, even!

Blogger LordSomber September 07, 2016 10:05 PM  

The use of Comic Sans is a shite choice, even in parody.


Blogger DrAndroSF September 07, 2016 10:47 PM  

Every time I watch a Harry Potter film, I have to blot out of my mind who Emma Watson (and JK Rowling and Daniel Radcliffe) are in real life.

Blogger SciVo September 08, 2016 5:11 AM  

LordSomber wrote:The use of Comic Sans is a shite choice, even in parody.

Disagree, it's a perfect parody of those who wouldn't even know of other friendly fonts.

Blogger Lovekraft September 08, 2016 6:02 AM  

Watching those little British twits say the word "brilliant!" every sentence became too much to bear.

Blogger JP September 08, 2016 6:22 AM  

Emma Watson being an SJW is such a damn waste.

Blogger dc.sunsets September 08, 2016 10:15 AM  

Emma Watson being an SJW is such a damn waste.

Celebrity? check
Glamour shot photos? check

What more do you need to know that a woman is toxic?

The world is full of people-as-carp (throwbacks.) Celebrities are essentially 100% carp. This is as it must be.

Blogger Shimshon September 08, 2016 12:48 PM  

@41 Don't forget...

Pixie Haircut? check

Blogger On the Mark September 08, 2016 5:02 PM  

The Onion couldn't have done it better.

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