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Monday, October 31, 2016

An important Halloween message

For all of those parents with little boys who want to dress up like a princess on All Hallows' Eve, Today NOW! has a solution: How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

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33 Comments:

Blogger BigFire October 31, 2016 1:43 PM  

This is like having 'smart gun'. Why would I want a weapon designed by my enemies who wanted me dead?

Anonymous Just another commenter October 31, 2016 1:48 PM  

Time has turned Onion satire into cutting-edge news.

Anonymous Discard October 31, 2016 1:50 PM  

My best Halloween was the year I got a Mattel Tommy Burst for my birthday. Green pants and shirt and an old US Army helmet liner did the trick.

Buddabuddabudda! Buddabuddabuddabudda!

The Tommy Burst never ran out of ammunition.

Anonymous Discard October 31, 2016 1:51 PM  

Error

Blogger tz October 31, 2016 1:56 PM  

There's always Milo. And a "We Shoot Back" with a Red Ryder BB gun.

Anonymous Elipe October 31, 2016 1:59 PM  

The kid with the soldier getup needs a damn haircut. I was worried for a minute that they managed to clone the Dunham Horror.

OpenID meistergedanken October 31, 2016 2:02 PM  

True story: I used to work with a woman who had a five year old son. For Halloween he said he wanted to be a "half boy, half girl", but since he disclosed this the same week as Halloween, his mother didn't have time to make the costume. A year later, she asked him again what he wanted to be for Halloween and he said THE SAME THING. She was a little surprised that he hadn't thought of something else in the interim , but oh well, that's what he wanted so that's what she dutifully made (picture a kind of "Two-Face-like" getup, complete with half a wig of long hair and half a skirt stitched to one pant leg...).

Naturally she was a single mother at the time and he was an only child. And she was a rabid Democrat. Anyway, to round out the pattern the kid would still wet himself when he got really excited about something, so I don't know if he is going to turn out to be a garden-variety degenerate or maybe a bona fide psychopath, something like "Buffalo Bill" from "Silence of the Lambs".

Blogger Salt October 31, 2016 2:02 PM  

Hope that rifle is loaded with blanks.

Anonymous VFM #6306 October 31, 2016 2:11 PM  

Man I miss Bane.

Blogger JDC October 31, 2016 2:11 PM  

A bucket full of blood takes care of so many problems.

Anonymous VFM #6306 October 31, 2016 2:14 PM  

That was funny, but finishing it with Coming Next: Female Rap Sensation Maya Angelou was epic.

Anonymous Discard October 31, 2016 2:15 PM  

It was funny, but is it right to get these boys to sashay and so forth and record it?

Blogger pyrrhus October 31, 2016 2:25 PM  

https://www.armstrongeconomics.com/international-news/north_america/2016-u-s-presidential-election/happy-halloween-a-sign-of-the-times/

Blogger rumpole5 October 31, 2016 2:30 PM  

Just not celebrating the chief Anti-Christian holiday in the first place would solve your problem. Celebrate All Saints Day the next morning (with a decent gift or actvity for you son) instead. I might also suggest that the man in the family should find out what the little potential girly boy likes, and then couple it with a "male" oriented activity and companionship, attention, and time from the family male.

Blogger Dwight House October 31, 2016 2:46 PM  

I'm guessing you'll frown upon my various My Little Pony inspired costumes then?

Blogger OGRE October 31, 2016 2:46 PM  

That was great. reminds me of the scene from Its Always Sunny...

Prepare for the Future...of PATRIOTISM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ryaEWIMuY

Anonymous 10/31 October 31, 2016 2:51 PM  

Holy shit. I didn't know using humor to shame perverts is still a thing. Glorious.

Anonymous SGOTI October 31, 2016 3:22 PM  

The wife and I were talking just last night, sharing what we wore as kids.

I believe my 4th, 5th and 6th grade costumes were a Green Beret, Buckwheat and a female cheerleader.

I was either avant garde or twisted. Maybe both.

Blogger Ceasar October 31, 2016 3:22 PM  

At work and the cruelty of some people....This girl going 2+ bills is wearing pajamas with cow tail and fabric pattern. I mean come ON! How am I not supposed to laugh at that? lol.. Plus all the attractive (thin) girls are coming up to her and telling her how "cute" her costume is. Goodlord.

Blogger Bard October 31, 2016 4:52 PM  

"lady boy"
"girly son"
"sissy proofed"
"faggy acting little boy"

Hilarious

Anonymous BGKB October 31, 2016 5:23 PM  

Was this a real TV show?

Anonymous DissidentRight October 31, 2016 5:23 PM  

before VP: "Funny but I would feel awkward showing this to my friends."

after VP: "Required viewing for all parents."

Anonymous BGKB October 31, 2016 5:30 PM  

Oddly the site ovenworthy was taken down but they had this video on it as real news. http://www.crossmap.com/news/viral-video-shows-young-boy-twerking-at-gay-pride-as-drag-queens-cheer-19013

Blogger Tom Kratman October 31, 2016 7:10 PM  

When I was in Recruiting Command at Ft Sam Houston, Texas, the Air Force decided that it would give Halloween off to Wiccans. So I spent the day collecting money...for firewood.

Anonymous FP October 31, 2016 7:13 PM  

Lesbians brag about their son dressing as Hillary:

https://twitter.com/DebbersGar/status/792841758526824448

Anonymous BigGayKoranBurner October 31, 2016 7:25 PM  

Bitter queens dump on women, including Diamond & Silk, who went to PULSE memorial to pay respects.
http://www.towleroad.com/2016/10/women-for-trump-pulse-massacre/

Blogger praetorian October 31, 2016 8:13 PM  

At the praetoricompound we have declared it All Saints Eve. We are going to celebrate the Crusades and Reconquista by making Spain-shaped rice crispy treats and listening to Templar Chants.

Gas the pagans, rice crispy treats now.

Blogger Steve November 01, 2016 12:06 AM  

If any of you believe that the methods in this satirical video would actually work than you are naive and foolish. Most of homosexuality is nature, not nature.

Blogger Steve November 01, 2016 12:06 AM  

If any of you believe that the methods in this satirical video would actually work than you are naive and foolish. Most of homosexuality is nature, not nature.

Anonymous SciVo de Plorable November 01, 2016 5:06 AM  

OT: Triggered Texas U. Issues Halloween Costume Guide for Greeks

SFL recommends a Texas beach party over a jungle themed event. The checklist reminds students there is a difference between “native peoples” and people from a place. Being born in Hawaii “doesn’t make you native Hawaiian.”

But.. but.. you mean the dirt isn't magic?!

Blogger Dirk Manly November 01, 2016 11:13 AM  

Oh, Steve, you foolish little boy. Homosexuality is nearly 100% comorbid with full blown Borderline Personality Disorder, and BPD is the result of repeated traumatic neglect or abuse as an infant. OR sexual abuse -- almost always homosexual in nature.

Blogger Anthony November 01, 2016 11:53 AM  

Caesar, the thin girls are saying "it's so cute that you know your status in the socio-sexual hierarchy".

Blogger Anthony November 01, 2016 11:54 AM  

Caesar, the thin girls are saying "it's so cute that you know your status in the socio-sexual hierarchy".

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