Monday, December 05, 2016

The spice will not flow

A letter from Penzey's Spices reveals they are fully SJW-converged. Also, that they are amusingly delusional. The amusing thing is that they think anyone was paying any attention to their "stand", and that they think they've proved "Donald Trump simply has no one supporting his views for America".

What it really means is that no one is paying attention to their idiot politics. Yet.

Dear CEO,

Please give us a moment to share something we hope you will find very valuable.

Our customers come from all walks of life. The kindness of cooks knows no borders or divides. In the aftermath of the election, seeing the intentional damage inflicted on so many outside the white heterosexual male world, we raised our voice. We felt we had to. We did this because we are Penzeys. The Spice business is so intertwined with history that it's not really possible to have one without the other. It became clear to us that we are now in a moment history will long have its eyes upon. For the sake of our customers, and for the sake of future generations, we felt the time had come to stand on the right side of history.

And while the reasons for why we took a stand might be specific to our unique outlook, what we learned actually applies to all commerce in the United States. What we learned is that President-elect Donald Trump has no real support. Voters, sure, but no constituency. Running a campaign on "that horrible-terrible-woman who should be locked up," while at the same time working to raise fear of minorities among white voters with limited access to education, clearly achieved its goal. But none of it left Americans with any sense of connection to the candidate they actually voted for.

Willing to take a hit for what is right, we did what we did. In the two weeks since, online sales are up 59.9%, gift box sales up 135%. And we didn't have a catalog arrive in this window this year, while last year we had 1.1 million! Yes, maybe for the moment we have lost 3% of our customers because of the so-called "right wing firestorm." And, yes, they send emails of rage, and ALL CAPS, and bad language with the hope of creating the perception that they are bigger than they really are. But what we learned is that, in terms of retail spending, Donald Trump simply has no one supporting his views for America. He has no constituency.

America's Values, on the other hand, have a really sizable constituency, and that constituency moves quickly to support those that stand up for the values of America. If, as a company, you have values, now is the time to share them. You may well lose a chunk of your AM radio-listening customers, but if you really are honest and sincere, don't be surprised to see your promotions suddenly, finally, find active engagement with the Millennial generation.

And the time for this really is now. We understand all too well that, with the holidays, December is a tough month to get things done. We understand that a change in direction will not be easy, but you are where you are because you don't need things to be easy. If you wait until after the wheels come off the track for the incoming administration, this moment will have passed. And while there's no bad time to do the right thing, to do the right thing at the same time as others in your industry will work so much better than waiting until someone else has shown the way.

In this moment there is finally the real chance to unite our nation in our shared rejection of sexism, homophobia, and racism. This is your chance to stand up for America's values and make January a tent pole in your company's history. Opportunities to do the right thing at the time when doing the right thing makes all the difference come once in a lifetime. Make your history proud.

Thanks for reading,

Penzeys Spices

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Blogger Stilicho December 05, 2016 1:30 PM  

I asked History about this and he replied that Penzeys is delusional and that he doesn't care.

Blogger L. Beau December 05, 2016 1:31 PM  

May he spend the rest of his life in a pain amplifier.

Anonymous Smile Of The Shadow December 05, 2016 1:31 PM  

Watch their numbers about sales being "up" being bullshit. Of course sales are up around black friday if they're comparing to the month before (which I'm guessing they are, otherwise they would have clarified "compared to last year"). Losing 3% of their customers will hit them harder long run if that's the case. And I gather that number will grow, not diminish.

Blogger L. Beau December 05, 2016 1:32 PM  

The sleeper must awaken.

Blogger Sun Xhu December 05, 2016 1:33 PM  

They have failed the gom jabbar.

Anonymous ODG December 05, 2016 1:35 PM  

Penzey who?
Never heard of them. But now that I have, I can avoid them.

Blogger kurt9 December 05, 2016 1:36 PM  

Make a list of all companies that are SJW converged so that we know to avoid them. I am not interested in buying any product or service from a company whose management does not respect my freedom of thought and expression.

Anonymous A Most Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents December 05, 2016 1:37 PM  

I completely support Penzey's in their Social Justice narrative, and urge all SJW converged businesses to join in with Penzey. All converged businesses should, regardless of their market niche, go out of their way to offend normal Americans as much as they possibly can.

It's time for them to come out of the shadows, stand up in the sunlight, and be counted. It's time for them to tell all the rest of America exactly who they are.

Trump 2016 for the LOLZ!

Blogger Student in Blue December 05, 2016 1:37 PM  

Oh yes, Donald Trump has no constituency. They simply don't exist. He got elected purely on black magic and Russian hackers. /s

Anonymous Alexander, #10 December 05, 2016 1:40 PM  

This is a heartening development. I'll admit I was a little concerned with all the ovens we are going to build but the complete lack of seasoning.

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 1:40 PM  

Never heard of them and I regularly cook and help out with a competition BBQ team. I doubt any of their customers were aware of the "stand" they were taking. Now if the retailer's they are soliciting do start advertising their "stand" watch how fast their sales fall. I will note that in most industries a consistent 3% drop in sales is an all hands on deck affair.

Anonymous Elipe December 05, 2016 1:42 PM  

Obviously, this letter had typos in it. What they meant to say was up TO 59.9%. Aymazing!

Anonymous Bob December 05, 2016 1:44 PM  

Mind-boggling. That they have survived this long in business says to me they have only recently been SJW converged. Their recent temporary jump in sales(SJW troops rushing in to support) is immaterial as their slow but inevitable slide into oblivion begins. Enjoy the show. Buy more popcorn. This will only get better.

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 1:45 PM  

Really strong stand...from a spice shop that no one has heard of or cares about. Not sure what the best way is to cram it down their throat since they are so unimportant that you can't boycott because no one shops there.

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 1:46 PM  

We don't buy the salt there for our popcorn?

Anonymous John Scalzi Unfinished Asimov Project December 05, 2016 1:48 PM  

"I have promised them ten legions of my elite WhitesWhoDon'tHaveAccessToEducation Storm Troopers.

--"This is genocide! Deliberate extinction of ALL PIZZA on Arkanside!"

Anonymous A Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Deplorable Cents December 05, 2016 1:54 PM  

OT but other postings today are too grim for this.
Madonna promised voters for Hillary Rodan Robot oral sex. She reneged.

Paola Saulino launches tours of Italian cities in order to keep her promise to those who voted NO!

Blogger Fred December 05, 2016 1:55 PM  

the spice Melange...Dune...must flow...says the Spacing Guild. Dune Navigators look like Hillary.

Anonymous Faceless December 05, 2016 1:55 PM  

Black Friday plus their limited time sale surely impacts this, but everyone is spending! They are trying to claim that Obama suddenly fixed the economy starting 11/9, with leftists spinning this as Obama's surge in the stock market and consumer spending. Everybody sat on their money for 60 days before the election, wondering if that would need to go toward bidding on various things that would be outlawed by Frau Clinton.

Blogger Sentient Spud December 05, 2016 1:56 PM  

Never heard of these guys--and I live only a few minutes away. Not surprising in the least, however. That part of town has some pretty hardcore liberals. Most of which, as difficult as this may be to believe, are insulated from Atlanta's diversity by high real estate prices and rents.

But online sales is one thing. What's foot traffic looking like these days?

Blogger Nick S December 05, 2016 1:57 PM  

I've never been so inclined to attend a presidential inauguration as I am right now.

Anonymous John Scalzi Unfinished Asimov Project December 05, 2016 1:57 PM  

"I believe in Trantor. Trantor has made my fortune . . ."

"Terminus. Shit. I'm still on Terminus . . ."

"Big advance is the mind killer. I will not advance. It is by the typewriter's clanging that I awaken thoughts. Awaken thoughts complete novels. It is by the completed novel I collect the check. I will not block, I will not block, I--"

"Daddy! Daddy wake up, wake up!"

John Scalzi shot up erect from his bed, , eyes startled from their sockets, his corpulently muscled torso bathed in sweat.

Beside him, his boyishly voluptuous daughter frowned with concern. "You were talking in your sleep again, Father. About--"

"Yes? What about?" he desperately inquired.

"About-- about your home world?"

The Secret Alien King stared penetratingly into his alien princess daughter's incomprehendingly concerned and humid orbs. His home world. The world at the center of the galaxy, completely covered with a multimillion dollar lawn.

The Second Foundation. The world he must regain--regain, by writing to his deadline.

But every minute he sat in this room, his advance receeded. Every minute Vox squatted in the jungle, his deplorable dune advanced.

Blogger Eric Mueller December 05, 2016 1:59 PM  

They lost me about the 3rd paragraph. My eyes and brain started refusing to track the insanity.

I guess now we need an alt-spice.

Blogger Brian S December 05, 2016 2:00 PM  

are they going to require their employees to get heart plugs next?

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 2:00 PM  

Penzy lives in an almost all-white suburban area.

Blogger Randy December 05, 2016 2:01 PM  

I'm seeing a small heart within a large heart in their logo. Am I the only one?

Anonymous Ultradimensional Longboats of Deplorable Spartacus December 05, 2016 2:01 PM

"But the thing is elections have their consequences. This is no longer sixty years ago."

It's... it's Current Year!

Shop Penzeys for all your spirit cooking needs! We put the spice in the pizza!

Blogger Chiva December 05, 2016 2:03 PM  

"Yes, maybe for the moment we have lost 3% of our customers"

So brave.

Anonymous Sazerac December 05, 2016 2:04 PM  

Well now I know where all the midwit PHD students in sociology found employment.

Obnoxious double downing intensifies.

Anonymous SugarPi December 05, 2016 2:05 PM  

My son-in-law is a chef and I've never seen this brand in his kitchen, so I'm inconsiderate of Penzey's Spices and their likely bogus sales claims. But if that place becomes a safe space for thumb-sucking cry babies, I'm fine with that.

Anonymous 5343 Kinds of Deplorable December 05, 2016 2:07 PM  

I'd boycott them, but they're so insignificant I can't even find them on the supermarket shelves.

Blogger pyrrhus December 05, 2016 2:07 PM  

This thing should be entered in a gibberish contest...I cook some, and I've never heard of them...

Blogger buwaya puti December 05, 2016 2:08 PM  

Niche market in high-disposable-income lifestyle locations. Hobby gourmet cooking is a big hobby among the upper middle class, the same lot that pays for French cooking ranges and shops at Williams-Sonoma. Status and virtue signalling probably will help them in their chosen market, which will do anything it can to separate themselves from the majority.

This may make sense, for them, as long as their market believes what it believes. Which barring extreme events, such that there no longer is a market for expensive spices anyway, will probably continue for the forseeable future.

Blogger Undocumented Pharmacist December 05, 2016 2:09 PM  

What kinda of mark-up do you have to have to sell just spices from bricks and mortar stores these days? 1000% ? More? Googled them. There's actually one not to far from where I live. Never been in it. Never will be now.

Anonymous Michael "Kraut" Maier December 05, 2016 2:10 PM  

It bummed me out when I read the CEO's idiocy. I have been a loyal Penzey's customer for over a decade. Heck, I've been an ambassador as much as I talk up that store. They really do have excellent products at excellent prices.

But as it turns out, the CEO's brother has an alternative store that gets its products sourced from the same places... so they should be nearly identical products, I hope.

I will be finding out.

Anonymous Incurvatus December 05, 2016 2:12 PM  

This Wisc Penzey guy was in sufferable during the Scott Walker recalls.
Fortunately, his sister runs a Milwaukee spice company as well, which happens to segregate vocation and politics:

Anonymous Faceless December 05, 2016 2:14 PM  

Now, this Wisconsin spice - is it for beer, or is it for cheese?

Blogger Martin December 05, 2016 2:14 PM  

All their talk about catalog mailings is meaningless. Who the hell looks at catalogs anymore? Why were they still mailing catalogs in such high numbers last year? That was just wasted margin. What do you want to bet that the money they were pouring into catalogs was instead poured into online marketing, which would be far more effective when done right.

Furthermore, their online sales are up 59% from what? That's suspiciously absent. From two weeks prior? You don't suppose, just maybe, that's because it's now the holiday season and people are buying a lot more gift boxes than they were 2 weeks ago? Why aren't they reporting year-on-year sales? Oh, that's right, because SJWAL.

Blogger Hen December 05, 2016 2:15 PM  

Used to buy from Penzey's. Pity they are so effing stupid.

Anonymous Ultradimensional Longboats of Deplorable Spartacus December 05, 2016 2:22 PM  

The store in Rockville, Maryland is the closet one to Comet Ping Pong, he added helpfully.

Not to confirm or deny a pizza connection, but anywhere the peculiar stench of SJW, pedos not far behind.

SJWs Always Stink.

Blogger Nick D December 05, 2016 2:26 PM  

The worst form of virtue-signaling: marketing virtue-signaling.

I literally had not had heard of, nor ever seen anything called "Penzey's Spices." May their virtue-signaling be their downfall

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 2:32 PM  

On record as refusing to purchase from them ever again. Spice House is run by the Penzeys daughter, says politics ought not matter in, absent absolute declaration one way or t'other, I'll go to Spice House.

It's the rubbing shit in my face that I hate. They're not the only game in town, despite the Paleo/gluten free/hippie mama/you-can-be-foodie-too cred they've attempted to cultivate.

Blogger SteelPalm December 05, 2016 2:32 PM  

What the hell is he proposing other CEOs do? Write similar public letters calling for Trump voters to be punished for "the biggest act of racism in American history since Wallace stood in the schoolhouse doorway 53 years ago."?!

SJWs are becoming increasingly incoherent these days.

Anonymous Ultradimensional Longboats of Deplorable Spartacus December 05, 2016 2:33 PM  

Randy wrote:I'm seeing a small heart within a large heart in their logo. Am I the only one?

Um hmm. And the disconnect at the bottom. Maybe it's just a lovey-dovey blood-red heart sign
that just happens to look like it was drawn by a spirit-cooking psycho and
that just happens to look a lot like the Comet Ping Pong logo
that just happens to look a lot like the pedo symbol.

Or maybe not, but it doesn't hurt to point this out as long as it cuts into their sales. Remember the Proctor & Gamble fiasco.

Blogger tz December 05, 2016 2:38 PM  

HuffPo recommends them

So the left can virtue signal. How's Grub-Gub, Pepsi, and Kelloggs doing?

And Just to be Yelpful

Blogger tz December 05, 2016 2:39 PM  

And just to be Yelpful

Blogger dc.sunsets December 05, 2016 2:40 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger dc.sunsets December 05, 2016 2:42 PM  

The facebook comments illustrate why 1) I will never sign up for facebook and 2) why the chasm between people who hurl "racist! racist!" with every comment and the rest of us is too wide to bridge; we'll never be able to coexist.

This, and the fact that MPAI are painfully obvious.

Blogger dc.sunsets December 05, 2016 2:46 PM  

Truth be told, it is impossible to avoid every converged organization. Few eschew cell phones, and your choice largely between two horribly-managed corporations (APPL and GOOG.) All of Silicon Valley is stuffed with Goodthinkers.

I take heart from the fact that what was "stylish" before will be OUT OF STYLE going forward. Yes, the most zealous of the cultists will die before they'll change to parrot the new Narrative, but 1) their pets will help them with that, and 2) I think they actually will take themselves out of the shallow side of the gene pool.

The rest of today's SJW cheerleaders will change to the new Narrative no different than the woman who LOVES her Coach Purse will switch to Prada the moment the herd does so.

Most humans are very strong herders.

Blogger Lucas December 05, 2016 2:47 PM  


Anonymous Damn Crackers December 05, 2016 2:47 PM  

Obviously, this is House Harkonnen agitprop. Don't believe it. Let me know if they sell heart plugs.

Blogger Nathan Wright December 05, 2016 2:48 PM  

The call to "unite the nation" by declaring straight white men a new pariah caste: this is the height of dishonesty. If you include the women married into this pariah caste, as well as their mothers, sisters, and children, then you're talking about more than half the population. Unite the nation!

This might be the best elaboration I've seen of the leftism-as-fake-religion idea:

Anonymous daddynichol December 05, 2016 2:49 PM  

Typical SJW verbal diarrhea. Took 7 paragraphs to make a statement.

Blogger Joe Katzman December 05, 2016 2:50 PM  

Penzys got the business as a hand-me-down from his parents, then split from his siblings to launch his catalog-driven shop.

But his siblings, who obviously listened when their parents raised them well, still own The Spice House. They would not think of insulting their customers this way - and if you go to and use the code NOPOLITICS, shipping on your 1st order is free.

Their stuff is good, and I highly recommend them if you're looking for reasonable Xmas gifts.

Anonymous Ultradimensional Longboats of Deplorable Spartacus December 05, 2016 2:53 PM  

Damn Crackers wrote:Obviously, this is House Harkonnen agitprop. Don't believe it. Let me know if they sell heart plugs.

You beat me to it. Here's that clip of Our Founder

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 2:55 PM  

Ouch, d.c., coach to Prada, bit of a jump. Kors to Coach is more in line with most mid-to-upper class (and some lower class strivers) herd behavior. Even if they could, you can't go Prada, Hermes, Louboutin, Aigner, Chanel, without some serious cash, or at least a healthy dose of prudence and sense of future worth.

Fashion is either fast, acquisitive, trashable, and replaceable, or timeless, sensible, heirloom quality, and historic. You see which women consume which fashions, and while it does take some coin to buy in, an eye for quality and timelessness matters more than the daily and ever shifting trend.

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 2:56 PM  

Yep. Buckhead is the epitome of SWPL.

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 2:57 PM  

Of course, much of what is fashionable and for which person has much to do with sexual availability, time preference, and mating habits.

I do wonder what many of my peers are thinking/doing with their latest material acquisitions.

Anonymous RCFlyer December 05, 2016 2:58 PM  

I read that Welch's is on this bandwagon too. I'm sure I can find juice and jelly elsewhere - actually I've learned to make jelly myself lately from local produce and wild fruit (sloes and blackberries) growing around where I live. No GMOs or pesticides, either.

Blogger Teri December 05, 2016 2:59 PM  

I'm not wasting my time to write him, but I won't order from them again. And I have ordered from them and purchased in their store in Portland.

I guess we are all supposed to be gap toothed hillbillies that just use salt and pepper on everything.

Anonymous Andrew December 05, 2016 3:00 PM  

I first heard about this here:

Blogger VoodooJock December 05, 2016 3:05 PM  

Hiring the same accounting firm that counts Scalzi's web traffic to count his sales was a stroke of genius.

Anonymous Athor Pel December 05, 2016 3:06 PM  

"23. Blogger Eric Mueller December 05, 2016 1:59 PM
They lost me about the 3rd paragraph. My eyes and brain started refusing to track the insanity.

You made it to the 3rd paragraph? Wow. I got to the 'right side of history' line and saw it for the slime covered camel nose at the tent flap that it is.

Blogger Deplorable Gaiseric December 05, 2016 3:11 PM  

ODG wrote:Penzey who?

Never heard of them. But now that I have, I can avoid them.

Given they're likely targeted demographic of customer, this could well have been a pretty sharp play to increase their awareness among potential customers, and goodwill among existing customers.

Sure, they'll piss off a lot of Americans. They'll still get a black stare and a shrug from most Americans. But when your targeted customer base is converged and you're a small player, braying convergence platitudes yourself isn't necessarily a bad strategy.

Blogger The Aardvark December 05, 2016 3:11 PM  

Been cooking for over 44 years. Never heard of 'em.

Portland, huh?


Blogger SouthRon December 05, 2016 3:11 PM  

@34 We've been big fans of Penzey's as well.

Around here Savory Spice Shop has been good alternative and I don't have to drive all the way into the city to get there.

Blogger James Dixon December 05, 2016 3:13 PM  

> I first heard about this here:

Which has the link to his sister's competing firm, The Spice House, which is not anti-Trump.

Anonymous Ultradimensional Longboats of Deplorable Spartacus December 05, 2016 3:14 PM  

tz wrote:And just to be Yelpful

Yes, that is yelpful. Best review:

If you don't want to get raped, then buy your spices at the Dekalb Farmer's market or Patel Brothers... Penzi's is literally 3-5 times more expensive on their spices..

My boyfriend and I were shocked by Penzi's prices but we also realized that the fellow patrons in the shop seemed to be the 50-something Sandy Springs suburban elite types and... so they can at least add some spice to their dishes.

tl;dr. If you don't want you, or your children, or your nation to get raped, then buy your spices somewhere besides Penzi.

Blogger The Aardvark December 05, 2016 3:16 PM  

Wisconsin, huh?


Blogger Eric Mueller December 05, 2016 3:17 PM  

Athor Pel, I tried to give it a fair read. With so many inaccuracies in the opening, it became a chore. Then it became painful.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 05, 2016 3:20 PM  

There aren't any pictures of same sex couples in the throes of passion on their home page. Seems homophobic.

Anonymous BGKB December 05, 2016 3:20 PM  

Dear Penzys spices let me introduce you to the hugelkultur herb spiral.

Since guns are always on topic 5 black armed robbers run away from armed 65yo white women", AKA who is afraid of a race war.

Blogger James Dixon December 05, 2016 3:25 PM  

> I read that Welch's is on this bandwagon too. I'm sure I can find juice and jelly elsewhere...

With a name like Smucker's it has to be good...

I can't speak for their politics, but we've had good luck with Spices, etc. (

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 3:29 PM  

Teri wrote:

I guess we are all supposed to be gap toothed hillbillies that just use salt and pepper on everything.

Dalmatian spice rub is always the right answer for beef if you know how to cook it.

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 3:32 PM  

BGKB wrote:

Since guns are always on topic 5 black armed robbers run away from armed 65yo white women", AKA who is afraid of a race war.

They know that, unlike your average gang banger, they actually visit the range and learn how to shoot.

Blogger Arthur Isaac December 05, 2016 3:37 PM  

The problem for Penzeys (as far as I'm concerned) is that I don't us Monkey Butt Powder to season my food.

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 3:37 PM  

Penzeys message being only backwards alt right conservatards shun his goods, so no harm no foul. All proper thinking goodbrained truly enlightened foodies who cherish and relish the great cuisines diversity has brought us will support him forever.

And damn those freaks who cannot appreciate Aleppo pepper. If they could, their politics wouldn't be in question, would they?

Anonymous BGKB December 05, 2016 3:48 PM  

Ok I thought this was a joke when I first read it. Here is the store locator if anyone has a nearby place. They are in 29 states.

actually one not to far from where I live. Never been in it. Never will be now.

Go visit with your TRUMPSLIDE shirt.

So the left can virtue signal. How's Grub-Gub, Pepsi, and Kelloggs doing?

Your link has California Minced Penzeys spices? What exactly is CA Minced? Do you have to limp wrist the knife?

Of course, much of what is fashionable and for which person has much to do with sexual availability, time preference, and mating habits

I remember when someone thought a car windshield sun visor in my back seat was a party shirt.

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 3:49 PM  

Penzey's what?

Whoa, sales went up right during the peak shopping season of the year.

Imagine that.

Anonymous EH December 05, 2016 4:01 PM  

@25, @43 - The logo is a heart within a heart separated by a plausibly deniable white line as if from being colored imperfectly with a crayon. It's more visibly child-related than the real pedo symbol. If they put that as their logo, maybe there are some other tells .... "make January a tent pole in your company's history". Hmmm.

I'll bet the spice business gives excuses to travel to places where children might be procured.

Blogger Prez Davis December 05, 2016 4:02 PM  

Check out Second Vote in the Apple app store.

Anonymous David the minion December 05, 2016 4:07 PM  

Last I checked, the millenials don't have much in the way of disposable income, 'cause they have no jobs in the 'bama 'conomy. Never heard of Penzies before. But I have now, and I'll never forget it, nor will I ever buy from them.

Damn. No caps, except where they belong.

Blogger Thucydides December 05, 2016 4:09 PM  

Dear Penzey's

Up until now I had no idea you were an SJW converged company which worked against Western values. However, thanks to your policy of taking off the m,ask and frankly spitting on your customers, I can safely add you to the list of corporations which I will not be supporting with my business again.

While it is a bit disconcerting to discover how many businesses are frankly parasitical and feeding off Western civilization, it is also comforting to know that I as a consumer also have a large number of pro Western, for civilization business which I can support instead.

Thank you so much for your clarifying statement


Anonymous Jordi December 05, 2016 4:16 PM  

Interstingly, they offer full refund for unsatisfied customers and free shipping

Anonymous a deplorable rubberducky December 05, 2016 4:17 PM  

Somehow, I was led to believe that the Spice Wars were going to be sexier than this.

Blogger Esmar Tuek December 05, 2016 4:26 PM  

Never heard of them, but my preferred response would be to launch an uppercut while screaming "SHORYUKEN!"

Anonymous JI December 05, 2016 4:27 PM  

Dang, I've been ordering from them for years. Oh well, they are now off my Christmas list forever.

Anonymous Bob Just December 05, 2016 4:34 PM  

@67 Hadn't heard of Patel bros, that might be the most Trump-friendly of the bunch

The DeKalb market is amazing but I'm not so sure that the workers would be full of Pro-Trump sentiment

-comment from Jackie-

I stopped going to the DeKalb Co GA farmer's market, all they had working there were Somalians and they were always rude and couldn't stand America or Americans, not one of them would even smile at customers, white, black or asian

Blogger Mr.MantraMan December 05, 2016 4:34 PM  

I'll bet they are not fully converged. Do they have safe spaces for their employees? I'll bet not.

Penzey needs to make safe spaces for his SocJus employees or he is not on the right side of history.

Blogger Aquila Aquilonis Fulminata December 05, 2016 4:40 PM  

Can we add a section to the SJWList for businesses?

Blogger Cail Corishev December 05, 2016 4:46 PM  

Doesn't anyone just buy spices at the grocery store anymore? The local farm store here has most spices for $1/container, but I usually wait and get mine when they're on sale 4 for $3.

Blogger Derrick Bonsell December 05, 2016 4:52 PM  

I don't know anything about spices, but if you want home improvement supplies shop at Home Depot. The owner is a big-time Trump supporter and the CEO says he wanted to open more stores provided they had a "business-friendly administration," which isn't referring to Hillary, lol.

Anonymous omar's running shoes December 05, 2016 4:55 PM  

I just cancelled my cumin order. That'll show them.

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother December 05, 2016 4:56 PM  

Tried and failed?

Blogger L. Beau December 05, 2016 5:10 PM  

@18 Fred wrote: Dune navigators look like Hillary.

Fred, that's mean. And hilarious.

Anonymous Susan December 05, 2016 5:10 PM  


I hit the bulk section of my grocery store for herbs and spices. The rotation is fast, and they are cheaper, you buy only what you need and at my store anyway, the selection is huge.
Penzy's is a big deal for folks who like to cook, or need unusual spices and herbs and cannot get them locally. Thanks for the alternative source.

Blogger Chuckster December 05, 2016 5:19 PM  

We used their spices for years until last year when they celebrated same sex marriage and belittled those who opposed it.

Anonymous Spinrads Agent December 05, 2016 5:21 PM  

When they hire a stabby Somali I'll start listening.

Blogger BunE22 December 05, 2016 5:35 PM  

Bard wrote:We don't buy the salt there for our popcorn?

I use their tears.

Anonymous A Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents December 05, 2016 5:53 PM  

@18 Fred wrote: Dune navigators look like Hillary.

That's cruel to Dune navigators.

Blogger S. Misanthrope December 05, 2016 6:02 PM  

@53 the promo code is expired, but it's pretty cool that it existed. I wonder if it pre-dates the Penzey's statements. I wonder what Thanksgiving was like for this family this year...

One person sends me Penzey's as gifts regularly. I'll have to politely steer her in another direction. I do like a few of their spice blends a lot, but there's nothing really special about the regular spices. I prefer M&B.

Anonymous Lynn Taraldson December 05, 2016 6:21 PM  

Uuuhhh, I think some people do more baking for Christmas, could that have something to do with it.... I hope they will disavow the Christmas part of the "Holiday Season" as they are on a roll. ;-)

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 05, 2016 6:21 PM  

Dear Penzey's Spices

I've been thinking about our future together aaannnd we don't have one.

We had a good thing going for ten years baby but it's over now. Here is my breakup box.

It's been a good enough run as these things go but I always had a sense one partner was always getting a little bit more out of this relationship, than the other.

And that side wasn't me.

But hey, lets be honest here, it wasn't like I was completely faithful either. I had a few side pieces going on here and there. I'm sorry Penzey's but you just couldn't give me what that sultry, smokey Norwegian salt could. To say nothing of what that shapely, statuesque salt from Bali brought to the party (*shudders in delightful memories*). And what happens at Spice of India stays at Spice of India...well there and my kitchen naturally but you get the drift.

Look, Penzey's I'm not telling you these things to hurt you...okay I AM telling you these things to hurt you. I am really hoping that I am in some small degree I am hurting you as much as you hurt me here.

Because the big thing about our breakup is, it isn't me...It's you. It's clearly and obviously...Completely and definitely you.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 05, 2016 6:25 PM  

I do love the James and Dagny thing that seems to be going on between Bill Penzey and his sister.

Their father left HER the business.

And can honestly say I've never been more offended by a business. That includes Target. At least they didn't email me an infuriating SJW diatribe.

Unsurprisingly Bill Penzey is doubling down and saying his sales are actually up.

Of course they are you cuck faced asshole (*and lord the man does have cuck face*) it's Christmas time. Everyone is baking.

But lets see how well you are doing when barbecue season starts.

Anonymous No spice for Trump December 05, 2016 6:35 PM  

OK. The SJW finally win. I was enjoying my trump Train ride, giddy with the narcotic rush of winning YUGELY. Then this. I gotta be honest, this really got to me. I mean at a soul searching , rock bottom,a gut wrenching awakening of what I've done. You see, how the f*&% can I enjoy spice when there are people who are actively organizing mobs to round up all non-whites for extermination? This is not what America and the enjoyment of overpriced spices are about. WAKE UP PEOPLE!

Anonymous Anonymous December 05, 2016 7:26 PM  

A curated list of Anti-Trump products with alternatives would be awesome.

Blogger Stephen December 05, 2016 7:30 PM  

"What we learned is that President-elect Donald Trump has no real support. Voters, sure, but no constituency."

How is posible to write such self contradictory non logic without your brains dribbling out of your ears?

Anonymous Nathan December 05, 2016 7:40 PM  


You must have missed when Penzey mailed everyone a "Jesus would be totally into gay marriage" sermon when the White House was lit up rainbow.

Blogger Nathan Jewell December 05, 2016 7:49 PM  

What an obnoxious little twit. His words drip with his arrogant, holier-than-thou attitude and his disdain for the "uneducated" masses.

They really have no clue, do they?

Blogger Duke Norfolk December 05, 2016 7:53 PM  

What an asshole. A sneering little asshole.

I can't wait to hear about how Buckhead has been overrun by the feral horde from the city; someday.

Blogger Mountain Man December 05, 2016 8:05 PM

And Big-Social ( privatized appendages of the CIA) continue their mad dash of converging themselves right out of business.

Anonymous Eric the Red December 05, 2016 8:32 PM  

Since when did it become the business of corporations to preach politics to its customer base, to ensure that those who disagree stop buying its products?

Silly me, I always thought the purpose of business was to make as much money as possible by delivering a quality product to as many customers as possible.

These so-called businesses can kiss my ass. If there's any way to do so, make them crash and burn as a viable money-making entity, and send their converged management into personal bankruptcy.

Anonymous Laz December 05, 2016 8:35 PM  

Wait until his business bottoms out then mail him a gun. He'll know what to do with it.

I've been reading too much Kratman lately. lol

Anonymous Alice De Goon December 05, 2016 8:47 PM  

Glad to hear the Spice House is non-converged. Their Lakeshore Drive seasoning is to die for.

I have to wonder what kind of worm-brain parasite would convince a business owner that taking a loud stand on politics would be a good idea. For one thing, it makes your virtue-signaling seem like a cheap marketing gimmick and secondly, it makes you look like a presumptuous jerk who is only interesting in hiring and serving people who agree with ALL of his half-baked, cock-a-mamie ideas.

If I were to buy a hot dog from a hot dog vendor in the street, I don't want to have to stand there while he tells me about the wonders of Scientology. Why in the flying fart would I ever put up with any other business owner doing essentially the same thing?

Anonymous fop December 05, 2016 9:02 PM  

Penzey's logo is a pedo signal.


Blogger Cail Corishev December 05, 2016 9:57 PM  

@113, If your clientele is thick with wealthy goodwhites, I could see it paying off in the short term. Get them all to send in a big order for Christmas to stick it to Trump (somehow), and it could make up for the customers they lose.

Problem is, that kind of thing isn't very sustainable. The emotionalism that drives someone to spend an extra $100 to feel righteous won't last, and their customers will be getting similar appeals from their other leisure item catalog retailers. Good luck to them making the same pitch next year.

Blogger Were-Puppy December 05, 2016 11:04 PM  

@50 Damn Crackers
Obviously, this is House Harkonnen agitprop. Don't believe it. Let me know if they sell heart plugs.

Gurney Halleck endorsed these poison gas teeth, but haven't heard anything about heart plugs

Blogger Were-Puppy December 05, 2016 11:23 PM  

@109 Duke Norfolk
I can't wait to hear about how Buckhead has been overrun by the feral horde from the city; someday.

I must be missing something, because I thought that already happened years ago - not that I ever go down there.

Anonymous Alice De Goon December 05, 2016 11:45 PM  

OT: Youtuber Qu-Qu posted a nice summary of the Rabid Puppies Saga:

Blogger Teri December 05, 2016 11:59 PM  

I shop at a couple of places with bulk spices. has good prices too.

Blogger Ben December 06, 2016 12:00 AM  

Bill Penzey, that leftist buttmunch, thinks that all Trump supporters are racists.

Unfortunately for Bill, according to his bizzaro leftist definitions a minority *cannot* be racist. Since minorities voted for Trump in higher numbers that have been seen in a long time, we have minorities that are both not racist and not not racist. That's some next level shit right there.

Of course, the other option for Bill is that those dumb vibrants didn't really understand what they were doing and just pecked at the Trump button like the trained chicken at the state fair. Hell, it's amazing they even managed to find the polling station! This option doesn't sound racist at all right?

I canceled my catalog and email lists when I saw the first "cooking trumps racism" email. What a douche.

Anonymous Post Alley Crackpot December 06, 2016 1:01 AM  

"Ultimate Disavowal Spice Blend"

Ingredients per batch:
250 g dried garlic granules
250 g dried onion granules
100 g black peppercorns
100 g dry hot mustard powder
100 g wasabi powder blend
100 g dried naga jolokia chiles
100 g dried Red Savina habanero chiles
100 g Finnish salmiakki liquorice hard candy, broken into smaller pieces (e.g., "Tyrkisk Peber")
100 g lavender sea salt
100 g dried clove buds
50 g dried fenugreek or powder
50 g asafoetida powder
50 g Indian "edible camphor" (Kacha Karpoor)

Health & safety warning:
This spice blend should not be prepared by individuals who do not have access to properly fitting industrial safety goggles, industrial fine particulate respirators, thick rubber gloves, and for some especially allergic people, a full-body hazardous materials or "encounter" suit. All of these precautions should be considered before attempting to make this spice blend.

After complying with health and safety warnings, add all of the ingredients to a large mixing bowl and combine evenly. Add portions of the mixture to a blender or pulveriser, pulsing gently at first to break up the larger pieces until all items combine into a coarse powdered blend.

Store in an air-tight glass jar with durable rubber seals. This mixture is very hygroscopic.

Advice for vegetarians:
Suitable for less annoying vegetarians, but may cause smug vegans to combust spontaneously.

Suggested usage:
Spoon liberally over the food of liberals, spoon conservatively over the food of conservatives.

Anonymous Dixout 4 Harambe December 06, 2016 1:49 AM  

As a hobby cook, I generally buy spices in bulk from Gordon Food Service, a restaurant supply company that also sells to the general public.

Anonymous RCFlyer December 06, 2016 4:08 AM  

Looked up Bill Penzey online. That boy has a bad, bad case of gaypedocuckface.

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Blogger James Dixon December 06, 2016 6:14 AM  

> Wait until his business bottoms out then mail him a gun. He'll know what to do with it.

That would be a waste of a perfectly good gun. Rat poison might be more appropriate.

Anonymous Anonymous December 06, 2016 7:42 AM  

Nah. Double Down syndrome will take effect. Triple down, in reality, since he's already doubled down.

Chip Diller, to the end.

Anonymous HHS December 06, 2016 7:59 AM  

Penzey's lost me when they attacked homeschoolers as undermining the ever-glorious public school system.

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