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Friday, December 16, 2016

Zero interest in Rogue One

It was interesting and informative to watch a countdown show of the top 20 moments in Star Wars cinematic history. All of the top moments were from the first two movies, and the so-called "top moments" from the new movies - none of which I have seen - were almost uniformly lame. I had a hard time not laughing at the setup for the death of Han Solo, as all I could hear in my mind was Gandalf shouting "you shall not pass!"

Filmmakers really shouldn't try to rip off great moments from other films. Sure, the visual is great, but it kicks the viewer out of the movie as surely as a poorly-timed product placement.

The only really good one was the fight between Darth Maul, the young Obi-wan, and Liam Neeson. Some of them, like Girl Luke and her Man Friday accidentally boarding the Millennium Falcon and recreating earlier flight combat scenes, were simply embarrassing.

So, I wasn't inclined to bother seeing Rogue One anyhow, and the fact that Disney Wars is now fortified with feminism and multiculturalism only confirmed my indifference towards it.
Wait a minute, after thirty-nine years, it turns out that Star Wars is about race?

Sort of. You may not notice at first (I didn’t, until the second half of the movie), but in Rogue One there isn’t a single non-Hispanic white male among the large cast of heroes. The rebel band seeking to steal the plans for the Death Star from the Empire is led by a white woman (Felicity Jones), a Latino man (Diego Luna) and three ethnic Asians (Riz Ahmed, Donnie Yen, Wen Jiang), with advice from a black man (Forest Whitaker) and a droid (voice of Alan Tudyk). Among the rebels, non-Hispanic white dudes (for convenience, I’ll just call them white from now on) are relegated to the background, while the Empire is represented by brigades of sinister white men, led by Ben Mendelsohn and (the digital reincarnation of) Peter Cushing as Imperial officers. It’s as if the cast was meant to echo a Hillary Clinton speech in which she described her coalition as everybody but white males.

The casting was not accidental. The Empire is (now) a “white supremacist (human) organization,” Rogue One co-writer Chris Weitz Tweeted the Friday after Clinton was defeated in the election. Another writer for the film, Gary Whitta, replied with his own Tweet, “Opposed by a multi-cultural group led by brave women”—then deleted it.
Needless to say, this aggression will not stand, man. Look for a literary response to the nonsense from Castalia in 2017.

It's also unsurprising to learn that SJW-converged Wired is up to its usual tricks. The reporter is evidently confused about the difference between "reporting" and "debating", as can be seen in her impromptu debate with Mike Cernovich:
Hi Mike—WIRED is reporting on #DumpStarWars, which I see you’ve participated in. Any chance you’d like to chat about why you’re boycotting?

Star Wars writers hate Trump voters. Why give them money?

From what I’ve seen, what they really hate are white supremacists. You don’t see throwing alt-right/lite/west support behind the boycott as reinforcing the idea that trump supporters=white supremacists?

Buddy my wife is Persian, we have a daughter, the white supremacist stuff is stupid as hell.

To be clear, I wasn’t saying you were a white supremacist. But much of the backlash has focused on the idea that Rogue One is racist against white men. Are you saying that white supremacist sentiment isn’t a factor in the protest?

Nah that’s not it at all. I don’t see why this is hard to understand. Trump supporters are attacked. Giving money to people who attack them is pathetic. I am going to organize more boycotts.

I’m struggling to find evidence that Rogue One’s writers have been explicitly against anything but white supremacy. Could you point out an example?
What's the matter, Mike? Why come you won't make the argument I keep trying to stuff in your mouth instead of saying what you actually think?

Also, as it happens, the movie sucks:
Lobotomized and depersonalized, “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” the latest entry in the film franchise, is a pure and perfect product that makes last year’s flavor, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” feel like an exemplar of hands-on humanistic warmth and dramatic intimacy.... “Rogue One” offers an international cast that, along with Jones, Whitaker, and Mikkelsen, features Diego Luna (as the rebel captain Cassian Andor, who is Jyn’s main cohort), Riz Ahmed (as the band’s intrepid pilot), and Donnie Yen (as a blind martial-arts spiritualist). But it seems as if the condition for assembling this diverse group is not letting them say or do anything of note, anything of any individual distinction, anything of any free-floating or idiosyncratic implication. 

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234 Comments:

1 – 200 of 234 Newer› Newest»
Anonymous Millenium December 16, 2016 9:41 AM  

I was most disappointed in the gay fight scene between Obi Wan and Anakin. It should have been the most epic light saber battle ever. Also, episode 3 should have had Anakin become Vader during the middle of the movie. An hour of Vader being evil and killing jedi would have been awesome.
The prequels suck but I am told there are several condensed versions that turn 3 crap movies into 1 good movie. I did try watching them in the machete order but the prequels suck too much.
I grew up on star wars and though it pains me I can probably live the rest of my life without ever watching the original trilogy again rather than support Disney and their agenda.

Blogger SteelPalm December 16, 2016 9:50 AM  

Slightly annoyed that Donnie Yen, my favorite martial arts actor ever, is in this.

Oh well, he doesn't give a fuck about the round eyes and their insane Social Justice, but likes the paycheck.

Also, Mike slaughtered that "research" assistant.

One gets the impression that he is communicating with a very stupid, limited, but persistent robot, not a genuine human being.

Blogger JohnofAustria December 16, 2016 9:52 AM  

Oh baloney, the writers aren't against fictional "white supremacy" but anything based on white identity.

Blogger Salt December 16, 2016 9:53 AM  

Millenium wrote:An hour of Vader being evil and killing jedi would have been awesome.

Never got see the younglings being torn to shreds. So disappointing.

Anonymous Some Guy December 16, 2016 9:53 AM  

The empire in the original trilogy was all white, Mostly English sounding males. That they'd continue the theme is nothing new.

Also, the rebel characters in the new film are part of an alliance that is lead by a white woman and white man, plus a majority of high ranking officers whom are also white. So, don't get you panties in a bunch...

Blogger Dexter December 16, 2016 9:55 AM  

"The only really good one was the fight between Darth Maul, the young Obi-wan, and Liam Neeson."

I felt that scene needed Darth Maul to taunt his opponents.

Anonymous karsten December 16, 2016 9:57 AM  

"I felt that scene needed Darth Maul to taunt his opponents."

I disagree. The very reason why that scene is so good (indeed, the best duel in any Star Wars film, for all that the prequels were otherwise worthless) is precisely because it eschewed the cliche of taunting villains. Maul was all business, like a tiger on the attack.

Blogger Dexter December 16, 2016 9:57 AM  

"Never got see the younglings being torn to shreds. So disappointing. "

I couldn't figure out why he wanted to kill the younglings. Convert them to the Dark Side!

Anonymous BBGKB December 16, 2016 9:57 AM  

isn’t a single non-Hispanic white male among the large cast of heroes. The rebel band seeking to steal the plans for the Death Star

I give them props for honesty in that you are better off with non whites for stealing. In fact you will notice every doctor that gets busted for falsely diagnosing people with cancer for MO MONEY is either jewish or brown. Nicolas Stix likes to cover them. www.naturalblaze dot com/2016/12/cancer-doctors-intentionally-diagnosing-healthy-people-money.html

I was most disappointed in the gay fight scene between Obi Wan and Anakin.

The next Star Wars: Rouge Mary Sue Two will trade out light sabers for light scissors for the big fight scene.

OpenID anonymos-coward December 16, 2016 9:58 AM  

> an ethnic Asian named 'Riz'

Top, as they say, kek.

Anonymous karsten December 16, 2016 9:59 AM  

"the writers aren't against fictional "white supremacy" but anything based on white identity."

To (((them))), the latter is interchangeable with and indistinguishable from the former.

Anonymous That Would Be Telling December 16, 2016 10:00 AM  

@5 Some Guy:

Also, the rebel characters in the new film are part of an alliance that is lead by a white woman and white man....

Unless that Acculturated author got it wrong or is lying, that "white man" only counts if he's a "White Hispanic" as the NYT invented for a damning label in their eyes for, ironically, the very clearly Mestizo George Zimmerman ... who also has a black great-grandfather.

It is you who've got it wrong or is lying?

Blogger Mr.MantraMan December 16, 2016 10:01 AM  

So I can guess that "White Supremacy" is a phrase that sells? It's the Big PC Naughty, a peep show for the mind. Little boys of color can grow up and be the bad ass who gets Ms July and little missies of color can grow up to have white features and become a poor man's Ms July, sell them tickets.

And whites can run around and chase their tails either out of guilt or fantasy of actually being Aryan Superman or Glen Beck.

Blogger Dexter December 16, 2016 10:02 AM  

I'd like to boycott Rogue One but my younglings won't let me.

Blogger Cail Corishev December 16, 2016 10:03 AM  

Another good example of why not to give interviews to the converged media. The Wired hack wasn't interested in Mike's opinion about anything; she was just hoping to get him to say something she could twist into support for white supremacy.

Anonymous Jamie December 16, 2016 10:03 AM  

Do white supremacists actually exist anywhere anymore? White people continuing to exist is what progressives now call "white supremacy". Anyways, George Lucas never should have sold off all that he created.

Anonymous BBGKB December 16, 2016 10:05 AM  

OT:If you thought minor supporting gay Rebel Rob Mook was the only Ayn Rand Villian fighting on team Crooked Eye Clinton(lots of rouge/makeup there), check out the author of this Washington Post article "The Daily 202: Ayn Rand-acolyte Donald Trump stacks his cabinet with fellow objectivists"

Blogger Michael Neal December 16, 2016 10:06 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Chris Lutz December 16, 2016 10:07 AM  

@5 This is a weak argument. The point isn't the past. It's what they are trying to retcon into the present. I've seen the argument by fanboys used over and over again to deny the obvious move to write white males out of the story as heroes or even competent.

Blogger Chris Lutz December 16, 2016 10:09 AM  

@5 Oh, and in the original trilogy, the Rebels were largely white and male. Why not continue with that trend?

Anonymous Susan December 16, 2016 10:10 AM  

Jamie, IIRC he sold off when he did because the Bush tax was sunseting and he would have been hit with a world record tax bill the following year due to the increase. This way he made money, and didn't get hit with the bill. Disney did.

Anonymous BrerFox December 16, 2016 10:10 AM  

Some Guy is talking about the alliance command. Mon mothma, some black chick, a smattering of aliens and a collection of white guys. I saw it last night, and the alliance command felt a bit noncanon, but i haven't seen the original Star Wars in ages.

The actual heist crew of the film doesn't have any white males, unless you count Tudyk's voice and mocap for the droid.

Anonymous Sensei December 16, 2016 10:11 AM  

I can't see it as anything but a compliment, really. Especially considering where this prequel falls in the storyline and what comes after...

Blogger Cail Corishev December 16, 2016 10:13 AM  

I felt that scene needed Darth Maul to taunt his opponents.

It needed Maul (and Jinn, for that matter) to be a character you had some investment in one way or the other. Without that, it was visually impressive, but emotionally empty. Which is pretty much the story of the prequels.

I very rarely see movies in the theater, but I do watch reviews. Hollywood today has a real problem telling a story in an interesting way that sticks with you. I don't know if it's due to convergence, or orienting everything to the foreign market, or what is the reason, but so much of their product is coming out flat. Even when they reboot something great, so they're starting with an interesting story and characters, they manage to make it dull more often than not. (To Lucas's credit, at least in the prequels he tried to do something new.)

It's a shame, because they have the technology to make astounding films. But they can take something like "The Magnificent Seven," redo it with incredible action scenes and great sound that weren't possible for the original, and end up with something that people come out of saying, "Eh, it was okay." Doesn't really make sense. It seems too easy to say the tech gets in the way of story and characterization, because why can't you have both?

Blogger pyrrhus December 16, 2016 10:13 AM  

Frankly, I thought even the original Star Wars was a fairly lame space opera with some good scenes, actors and motifs.....

Anonymous Bz December 16, 2016 10:14 AM  

I missed the last one, and will in all honesty miss this one too, but I'm still looking forward to the scene where the Rebels are helped by the brave non-binary PoC students of Harv- er, Trantor University Student Union. Fighting White Supremacy from the heart of Empire.

Anonymous Bz December 16, 2016 10:17 AM  

@20, one of the points of nearly remaking Star Wars is surely to replace the blindingly white cast with more modern people? Like Ballbusters. Once that's done, the tired old white stuff can be retired and you can just show the same movie except with fresh new non-racist faces.

Blogger bob kek mando: i can't be racist. why, some of my best friends are ((( Literally Hitler ))). { Vox Gayness intensifies } December 16, 2016 10:18 AM  

so, Wired's official Fake News position is that a Jewish man, married to a Persian woman, is endorsing White Supremacist ideologies?

kek.



VD
The only really good one was the fight between Darth Maul, the young Obi-wan, and Liam Neeson.



your taste is awful and you should feel ashamed.

the Darth Maul fight consists almost exclusively of all parties swinging at empty air and dodging blows *which never would have hit them*.

worse yet, i'm not sure Maul said two words in the entire movie. there was no tension to the fight because Maul had no actual character. he just stood in the background and looked menacing until it was time for his RedShirt minute.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6jGs_BZc4s

Anonymous Vermithrax Pejorative December 16, 2016 10:18 AM  

@5

Hey, how much of the Disney marketing budget is for internet shills? I'm honestly asking.

Do you think Disney generates more sales of crappy plastic toys with paid shills, or with traditional media hype?

I mean we have to give George Lucas credit for inventing the idea of getting people to pay to sit through advertising for cheap plastic toys. But I think we have to give Disney credit for taking marketing to a new level.

So let's not be so negative guys! Innovative marketing!

Blogger Cail Corishev December 16, 2016 10:18 AM  

So I can guess that "White Supremacy" is a phrase that sells?

They're trying to sell it, but I doubt it'll work beyond their choir. Millennials may not remember it, but we've already been through the "white supremacist" scare back in the 1980s, resurfacing shortly in the 1990s for the Oklahoma bombing. We were told the hinterlands were dotted with compounds filled with white supremacist skinheads planning revolution. But after so many years of being told that without seeing a single one, people stopped taking it seriously. Hearing it now sounds like an old joke to anyone over 45.

Anonymous O.C. December 16, 2016 10:20 AM  

Rogue One? I thought the title was "Mary Sue: A Star Wars Story."

Anonymous Millenium December 16, 2016 10:22 AM  

@18: When you say indie do you mean art house 90 min of self absorbed actor with no plot, action or storyline or something like early John Carpenter production values?

I have long thought the gritty rougha edge of Mad Max, John Carpenter, low budget 80s action/post apocalyptic films was due for a comeback.

Anonymous fop December 16, 2016 10:22 AM  

In my opinion the Darth Maul fight scenes were trite and over-choreographed, right down to the "hanging by fingertips over an endlessly deep chasm" trope.

Blogger André Sanchez December 16, 2016 10:23 AM  

I think it's fun watching movies where I'm supposed to root for one side, but am actually rooting for the other. I did that all through episodes 1 through 3. My understanding is that in episode 6, Luke was supposed to "fall" to the dark side but they figured it would sell more toys if they made the alliance "win". That being said, are any of these new ones worth the time? And I thought they were supposed to take place after episode 6, when the Empire is defeated? I'm confused about how there can be rebels trying to steal Death Star plans from the Empire.

Anonymous BrerFox December 16, 2016 10:25 AM  

That was the last film. The protagonist this time around is a run of the mill action grrl with the upper body strength of a silverback, but she doesn't invalidate the rest of the cast.

Anonymous Thales December 16, 2016 10:26 AM  

The only really good one was the fight between Darth Maul, the young Obi-wan, and Liam Neeson.

Even that disappointed: I expected Kenobi to lose his sh*t after his master bought it, but he really didn't. Compare that to Luke and Vader in EP6 where Luke finally gives in to his anger and trounces Vader. None of the new films really compare to original trilogy.

Anonymous Jamie December 16, 2016 10:27 AM  

Was the rebel alliance in "A New Hope" a "white supremacist" organization? After all they were all white, mostly male, and their "chosen one" was a blonde haired blue eyed farmboy ubermensch.

Anonymous Laconophile December 16, 2016 10:27 AM  

Dexter wrote:I'd like to boycott Rogue One but my younglings won't let me.

"I would never in a million years subject myself to this anti-white poison, but I'm OK with subjecting my impressionable naive children to propaganda that teaches them to hate themselves."

t. Modern Parents

Anonymous WaterBoy December 16, 2016 10:28 AM  

BrerFox @22: "The actual heist crew of the film doesn't have any white males, unless you count Tudyk's voice and mocap for the droid."

Some of the rest of the strike team was also white, and all male.

You know, the blaster fodder....

Anonymous VFM #6306 December 16, 2016 10:30 AM  

It is a post-op transprequel, André Sanchez.

It takes place about seven seconds before 1977's Star Wars movie, which happens to be the only place they could wedge in more unnecessary backstory.

Anonymous BrerFox December 16, 2016 10:34 AM  

Right, the ones who get told more or less verbatim 'your job is to die while the important people do things.' where have I heard that sentiment before?

Anonymous Desiderius December 16, 2016 10:34 AM  

"I'd like to boycott Rogue One but my younglings won't let me."

If you're that bad with shit tests, it's a wonder you procreated at all.

No is the first word in a good father's vocabulary.

Blogger modsquad December 16, 2016 10:35 AM  

Episode 1 – Darth Maul should have lived and been the villain thru 1 and 2. Anakin's age should have been where he was in Ep. 2.

Episode 2 – Anakin's age should be from Ep. 3. Anakin's seduction from 3 should have been happening here. He converts halfway thru but most of the Jedi survive the betrayal. Last half of 2 would have the Jedis vs Empire in a guerilla war, slowly being picked off by Anakin and Maul. Anakin kills Maul at the end to become the apprentice, no need for the elderly Count Dooku hiccup as Maul's replacement. Obi-Wan tries to bring Anakin back, unsuccessfully. Anakin's age makes more sense considering the romance with Padme.

Episode 3 – The Emperor is winning the guerilla war against the Jedi, but Anakin wavers about what he's done. Obi-wan almost has him returning to the Jedi fold and betraying the Emperor. Anakin's mother dies here, Anakin slaughters the Sand People and there's no coming back for him now. Anakin fights it out with Obi-Wan and loses. Not so bad that he's completely Vader yet with helmet and breathing assistance, that's completed over the next 20 years between 3 and 4 as he continues to wipe out Jedis where he finds them. By the time Episode 4 comes around, Obi-Wan and Yoda are the only Jedis who've managed to survive the betrayal.

Anonymous WaterBoy December 16, 2016 10:38 AM  

André Sanchez @34: "I'm confused about how there can be rebels trying to steal Death Star plans from the Empire."

Rogue One is a sideline story that takes place between Episode 3 and Episode 4.

In terms of continuity, it fits.

Blogger modsquad December 16, 2016 10:39 AM  

Forgot to add, in Episode 2 Anakin should have been the one to kill Qui-Gon Jinn (where Mace Windu dies). Complete pattern of the apprenctice slaying the master (as per the Dark Side). Mace lives thru to the middle of Ep. 3 where Anakin cuts him down the way he did Count Dooku.

Anonymous VFM #6306 December 16, 2016 10:40 AM  

Prequels' big problem was that it was supposed to be Obi-Wan's series about how he made the mistake of his life with a Jedi he was not supposed to train, and how he solved it in a climactic fight in a volcano.

I knew that since I was six and read about it in my sister's Rolling Stone .

Problem: Lucas made it about the wrong damn character. An antagonist is not a protagonist, ever.

The new ones are just stupid. The white supremicists' main Lord is a black guy. They should have asked Dave Chapelle to voice Vader.

Anonymous Desiderius December 16, 2016 10:40 AM  

"she was just hoping to get him to say something she could twist into support for white supremacy"

The last white supremacists are the SJW-converged themselves. They're starting to feel outnumbered so are desperate to get other whites to "admit" deep down that they're white supremacists too.

Anonymous Jed Ekert December 16, 2016 10:41 AM  

This guy gives a positive take on Rogue One in spite of the SJW casting.

http://www.counter-currents.com/2016/12/rogue-one/

Blogger VD December 16, 2016 10:41 AM  

Also, the rebel characters in the new film are part of an alliance that is lead by a white woman and white man, plus a majority of high ranking officers whom are also white.

Because even Disney doesn't have the guts to change the original... yet.

Blogger Bies Podkrakowski December 16, 2016 10:41 AM  

Eh. If you forgot about real life politics and posturing and this stupid prattle about Rebellions that are build on hope this movie has its moments. There are explosions, exploding Space Destroyers, space battle and a beach battle. The rebel droid is the best and should be the team leader. Even this chick that is supposed to be main character (I forgot her name) is better character that this other chick (what's her name?) from "The Force Awakens". The main villain - Krennic - director of Death Star program is a man of refined aesthetic tastes that I can share. Yes indeed, Death Star first test firing was indeed a thing of pure beauty. Vader appears for two minutes and completely steals the show. Empire’s might is evident and even traditional stormtroper incompetence cannot hide that.

tldr version: not as bad as I expected. And there is the ending:)

Blogger praetorian December 16, 2016 10:42 AM  

Mandatory:

Star Wars: The Farce Engorges

Anonymous Durster December 16, 2016 10:43 AM  

I've been a huge SW fan since the 70s. I'm going to resist my urge to go off on a rambling run on the fictional history of the universe and simply say that I have not seen EP7 nor R1 and I won't be seeing them in the future. Disney craped all over 35+ years of stories just so they could push their SJW Fanfic version of SW. It only took my watching of the trailers of the two new movies to see that they were utter garbage and showed that the writers had no real understanding of the setting they were writing for. The Reviews and spoilers posted only re-confirm that notion.

Anonymous Sheiko29 December 16, 2016 10:44 AM  

I understand they woefully underutilize the always fantastic Mads Mikkelsen as well. Probably better to spend the two hours re-watching Valhalla Rising.

Anonymous Desiderius December 16, 2016 10:45 AM  

The people behind all this are still white males, but having forsaken God they've made themselves into gods and set about (re-)creating the other - women and non-whites - in their image.

Blogger Michael Neal December 16, 2016 10:45 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 10:49 AM  

since the early previews I've had virtually 0 interest in Rogue One... which is odd... as many will remember I actually enjoyed The Force Awakens.

For whatever reason... Disney Wars now appears to me to be nothing more than Hunger Games Part 11.

Anonymous Pony1 December 16, 2016 10:50 AM  

EP7 was so bad I went home and tried to watch the originals to try and get the bad taste out of my mouth and I didn't even enjoy those... I kinda came to the realization that even between the first three movies there is only about a movie and half of decent material. Bottom line for me is those were fun movies as a kid and an interesting premise but there is more nostalgia than value there at this point...

Anonymous Athor Pel December 16, 2016 10:52 AM  

"8. Blogger Dexter December 16, 2016 9:57 AM
"Never got see the younglings being torn to shreds. So disappointing. "

I couldn't figure out why he wanted to kill the younglings. Convert them to the Dark Side!
"


Sith follow the rule of two. Only two Sith at any one time, a student and a master. The student must kill his master to take his place.

Also, from George Lucas' and Darth Sidius' mouths we heard the justification for Jedi genocide, so as to guarantee no Jedi affiliated force user would trouble the Sith in the future.

Anonymous BrerFox December 16, 2016 10:57 AM  

It's the same bait and switch Edwards pulled in his Godzilla film with Cranston. Use them for star power but their character is barely there.

Anonymous cheddarman December 16, 2016 10:57 AM  

Time to get busy making Star Wars parody memes and parody memorabilia to capitalize on the alt-right driven backlash.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 10:58 AM  

"He just wants to go see Rogue One for Darth Vader LOL"

even Vader has not sufficed to raise interest... which should tell you how badly Disney has screwed the pooch.

Blogger praetorian December 16, 2016 10:59 AM  

My son instinctively identifies with the white villains, he dresses as Kylo Ren and does not play with Rey action figures. He just wants to go see Rogue One for Darth Vader LOL

> (((Kylo Ren)))
> white
> mfw

OpenID basementhomebrewer December 16, 2016 11:01 AM  

Jamie wrote:Do white supremacists actually exist anywhere anymore? White people continuing to exist is what progressives now call "white supremacy".

It's not quite that far yet. Right now White Supremacy is noticing that SJWs are trying to eliminate White people and culture though any and all means. For now, they are fine with you existing as long as you don't notice they are planning for your extinction.

Blogger Mighty Lou December 16, 2016 11:02 AM  

Would any of us be talking about Star Wars today if not for the light sabers? I didn't think so. I mean, George Lucas can go on and on all day about how he had the perfect plot based on Campbell's Heroe's Journey, but he's full of it. It was the light sabers people, always has been, always will be.

Blogger Chris Lutz December 16, 2016 11:05 AM  

@49 Remember Turner with colorizing old black and white movies? How long before someone decides to insert non-whites into white character roles digitally?

Blogger LibertyPortraits December 16, 2016 11:08 AM  

After many years I have finally decided the Star Wars movies were never really good. It's like watching an old cartoon you loved as a kid that makes you realize how easy you were to please. It's okay to age out of SW. The games are more fun anyway and I don't even have to boycott SW because it doesn't appeal to me like it did when I was a teenager.

OpenID b1bae96e-6447-11e3-b6bb-000f20980440 December 16, 2016 11:09 AM  

It's got them spooked. CEO Bob Iger felt a need to bitchslap the writer that called the Empire white supremacist and declare there is nothing political about Star Wars.

The House of Mouse might have been on the forefront of convergence and evil, what with their slipping sexual grooming messages into their movies, and allowing sexual deviants to traumatize families that aren't diligent enough to discover that there is a week in June where dry humping in public is not just tolerated but encouraged. But, it is probably going to be the easiest empire to attack since its basically built in service to white males (ESPN, Marvel, Lucas), and families (Disney).

Anonymous That Would Be Telling December 16, 2016 11:11 AM  

@38 Laconophile:

Dexter wrote:
I'd like to boycott Rogue One but my younglings won't let me.


"I would never in a million years subject myself to this anti-white poison, but I'm OK with subjecting my impressionable naive children to propaganda that teaches them to hate themselves."

t. Modern Parents


In an essay Gary North mentioned an anecdote, perhaps in a venue where he was trying to get donations, about some businessman disagreeing with his type of mortality, as I recall the latter said "It's not black and white, it's all shades of gray."

North's response was "I'll bet that lost you your children," said the guy had no response, so he assumed that's indeed what happened. I think he repeated his maxim of, "You place you children in the hands of the enemy, and you're surprised by the result?"

It's a pity Dexter cares so little about how his children turn out. I personally gave up on Hollywood's output decades ago, as a matter of mental hygiene, just like one way I take care of my body is by not casually swimming in raw sewage.

People like our host might be morally and mentally strong enough to watch stuff like this, plus he's younger than me and that confers some extra resilience once you're "an adult". But children???

Anonymous BBGKB December 16, 2016 11:13 AM  

indie filmmaker,I need some good scripts with better stories that are more pro western civilization

Could you do a John C Wright movie?

I think it's fun watching movies where I'm supposed to root for one side, but am actually rooting for the other

I was rooting for the Pretty Red haired boy Nazi and Darth Emo in the last one. I didn't understand why star trek can give people fake robot hands but not clear up Darth Emo's face.

so, Wired's official Fake News position is that a Jewish man, married to a Persian woman, is endorsing White Supremacist ideologies?

Is she Sephardic jewish or just generic Persian?

I'd like to boycott Rogue One but my younglings won't let me.

Will you at least explain to them that the movie was made by Nanny Scolds who envy whites?

Anonymous Electryon December 16, 2016 11:19 AM  

Movie is really freaking good by all accounts, quite a bit better than TFA.
If we boycott it for the politics of its creator alone, then we are no different from SJWs.

Blogger Michael Neal December 16, 2016 11:19 AM  

"Could you do a John C Wright movie?"

Sure, if he was interested in doing that, probably would be smart to do a small proof of concept piece first

Anonymous yoppeh December 16, 2016 11:19 AM  

In somewhat related news, Disney is similarly destroying one of my favorite childhood books:

http://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/Disney-Wrinkle-Time-Movie-Details-42473804

Blogger Bogey December 16, 2016 11:20 AM  

Hamilton invades the Star Wars universe. A long time ago in a galaxy far far away.... they used to have flush toilets.

Blogger Al From Bay Shore December 16, 2016 11:23 AM  

@64 I'm going to offer a gentle dissent. People talk about Star Wars (Episodes IV, V, and VI) for many reasons. It is a great story full with many classic and recognizable themes and archetypes. It was great film making that referenced great directors (Kurosawa and Ford). And then there were the special effects - no one had ever seen anything like that before.

Anonymous NZT December 16, 2016 11:23 AM  

The really weird thing is that if you go back and watch A New Hope, literally the whole Rebel Alliance is white males (look at the Tantive IV scene or the throne room at the end). Of course the Empire is all white males too. Lucas was filming in England and so all the extras are random English people. But the idea that Rogue One takes place the day before Episode IV, and overnight the whole Rebellion goes from Benetton to RenFaire, is pretty laughable.

Anyway, don't go watch this trashworld movie. Or if you do, buy a ticket for a different movie and sneak into the theater.

Anonymous Teapartydoc December 16, 2016 11:26 AM  

"...white woman and a white man, plus a majority of high ranking officers who are also white."
With the left ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. The pattern you mention is typical the SJW left. The people of color are their pets. They will always remain so. What you describe is the make up of every left wing organization on earth, including BLM.

Blogger Cail Corishev December 16, 2016 11:27 AM  

Because even Disney doesn't have the guts to change the original... yet.

Mr. Plinkett pointed out that characters from the original trilogy still outsell characters from the prequels, which is why Darth Vader was all over merchandise produced during the prequels even though he doesn't show up until the end of the last one. Something tells me Vader, Han, Chewie, Leia, Luke, and the robots are still outselling the new characters from the reboot too.

Anonymous That Would Be Telling December 16, 2016 11:28 AM  

@64 Mighty Lou:

Would any of us be talking about Star Wars today if not for the light sabers?

Yes. The first movie (I don't admit to the existence of "episodes" 1-3, the Ewoks killed the franchise for me), had one ludicrous (turning your back on your opponent?!?!!?!!!) and boring light saber battle, although the build up prior to that was pretty good but just short little bits. This movie was good, although I didn't know at the time it was almost entirely derivative.

2nd movie and by far the best, no doubt because Lucas didn't direct it, had a couple of neat bits in the beginning (although how Luke managed to use his while swinging from the rope on the landwalker without cutting off something vital is ... questionable) and maybe there was that dream/nightmare sequence bit I barely remember, but the fight at the end, while better directed, wasn't much of a fight.

3rd movie, by far the worst and least memorable except for the very beginning and end, had some fair use against conventionally armed opponents at the beginning, and then finally one pretty good fight at the end, although Luke is still pretty out matched or maybe it's just that he plays defense in the beginning, and then goes berserk when that threat is made....

Nope, it's not the light sabers. Not even in the last movie, where that's the least important bit about the showdown with Vader and the Emperor.

Which is not to say that I don't very much and seriously want to own one for very close combat, but in the US legal knife blade lengths are generally less than 4 inches, I don't think a light saber would go over well....

Anonymous FP December 16, 2016 11:28 AM  

Heh, Kylo Ren. Seemed decent enough until he took off his mask. My first thought was, geezus emo kid put the mask back on before I laugh myself to death.

The more recent trailer for Rogue One: Mary Sue Part Deux was better than the first one but I'll only bother to see it as a rental and won't try to avoid spoilers (all honkeys are eeevil!). Force Awakens just gets worse the more I think about it. Boring, bland, blase, safe.

Wasn't Gary Whitta a writer for PCGamer back in the day?

Blogger Mighty Lou December 16, 2016 11:29 AM  

@74

Fair enough.

Blogger Cecil Henry December 16, 2016 11:29 AM  


They call you 'White Supremacist' and 'racist' because they are attacking your race.

They call you 'White Supremacist' and 'racist' because they hate your race and intend to control and destroy you. You are not meant to have any rights.

They call you 'White Supremacist' and 'racist' because they are explicitly denying you any racial interests or right to exist.

They call you 'racist' because anti-racist = anti-white.


Come on Cernovich, 'I have a Persian wife' is NOT a rejection of White Genocide.

Stand for something real, and make a real argument.

Blogger VD December 16, 2016 11:30 AM  

Movie is really freaking good by all accounts, quite a bit better than TFA.

You're a blatant liar:

"The script of “Rogue One” is so flat and inexpressive, the direction of the actors so methodical, as to render these artists nearly robotic and synthetic."
- New Yorker

"The first “Star Wars” trilogy had a fresh, insurgent energy, and learning the names of all those planets and galactic adventurers has seemed, to generations of fans, like a new and special kind of fun. Now, though, it is starting to feel like drudgery, a schoolbook exercise in a course of study that has no useful application and that will never end."
- New York Times

"One of the many problems with “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” is that so much of that joy is gone. The movie is stultifyingly serious, as leaden and dead on its feet as the infamous prequels—both provided us with endless council meetings, charisma-free leads, and distracting technological innovations."
- New Republic

If we boycott it for the politics of its creator alone, then we are no different from SJWs.

Who is this "we", Kemosabe? Go away. Don't come back. I don't permit liars to comment here.

Anonymous Viidad December 16, 2016 11:31 AM  

Dexter: "I'd like to boycott Rogue One but my younglings won't let me."

Then the emperor has already won.

Anonymous VFM #6306 December 16, 2016 11:32 AM  

I'm no better than an SJW, Electryon.

I'm much, much worse.

I will see them driven before me and hear the lamentations of their trannies.

Anonymous Herbie Kirby December 16, 2016 11:36 AM  

Sucks for you guys that Rogue One is getting rave reviews and is killing it in terms of ticket sales

Face it-white men are a thing of the past. Diversity is the future!

Stars Wars represents good versus evil.

Blogger Cail Corishev December 16, 2016 11:38 AM  

If we boycott it for the politics of its creator alone, then we are no different from SJWs.

SJWs don't boycott; they try to get products and people they dislike destroyed.

Blogger l' Américain December 16, 2016 11:39 AM  

I accept my role as a supporter of the empire, rebel scum.

Oh, and Hail Hydra.

Blogger Harsh December 16, 2016 11:41 AM  

Let them have their fun with Star Wars. I look forward to the laughs as the movies get more converged and ridiculous.

Blogger bob kek mando: i can't be racist. why, some of my best friends are ((( Literally Hitler ))). { Vox Gayness intensifies } December 16, 2016 11:42 AM  

54. Desiderius December 16, 2016 10:45 AM
The people behind all this are still ((( white males )))


there, fixed that for you.



58. Athor Pel December 16, 2016 10:52 AM
Sith follow the rule of two. Only two Sith at any one time, a student and a master.



which is sooooooo dumb. it doesn't make any sense, in universe or out.

it's perfectly okay for there to be thousands of Jedi running around ... but there can NEVER be more than two ( and sometimes only one, until a new apprentice is found ) Sith?

where's the "balance" in that?

further, EVEN IF the Sith Master only accepts *one* apprentice at a time ... shouldn't there be a pool of prospective votaries vying for the opportunity to be the next Apprentice?

in fact, shouldn't the threat of being killed by both his Master and a votary ( who is seeking to replace him ) be a constant in the life of the current Apprentice?

it's not as though the Master is going to be ignorant of the fact that the only way the Apprentice can advance in a 'society' of two people is for the subordinate one to take the place of the superior one.

and the Apprentice will be constantly trying to sneak off and practice Force techniques AWAY from the supervision of the Master.

WHY?

because the only typical way for a Sith Apprentice to succeed the Master is for him to kill the Master
...
which means that the Learner is now the Master ( call back to Ep 4 )
...
so there is a constant tension between the Master studying the Dark Force simply to stay ahead of his Apprentice
...
trying to teach his Apprentice a little *but not too much*, otherwise the Master risks death
...
killing his Apprentices if they get too aggressive or demonstrate too much ability
...
subordinate members of the order trying to study Dark Force on their own in order to gain the ability to kill those on their or superior levels
...
and this dynamic being duplicated however far down the chain that Sith recruiting goes.

the 'Rule of Two' is more evidence that George has taken too many drugs.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 11:43 AM  

"indie filmmaker,I need some good scripts with better stories that are more pro western civilization"

You need to speak to Rolf Nelson.

Badly.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 11:44 AM  

"the 'Rule of Two' is more evidence that George has taken too many drugs."

I think its more evidence that star wars nerds don't understand context. "Always two there are"... means if you find one... you know there is another.

not... no where in the galaxy are there more than 2.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 11:45 AM  

If we boycott it for the politics of its creator alone, then we are no different from SJWs.

Bullshit. The tactics we use against our enemies do not define us. And it's not like it's going to be a good movie either, it's SJW infested junk. Not even worth downloading and watching when it's free.

Blogger SouthRon December 16, 2016 11:45 AM  

Cail Corishev wrote:[T]hey have the technology to make astounding films. But they can take something like "The Magnificent Seven," redo it with incredible action scenes and great sound that weren't possible for the original, and end up with something that people come out of saying, "Eh, it was okay."

Tech couldn't save a doomed project. All I had to do was see the trailer. I was initially excited for a new version of Kurosawa's classic, but then I saw the title shot with the main cast:

Peter Sarsgaard, Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, Vincent D'Onofrio, Byung-hun Lee, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Martin Sensmeier

A nice mixture of diversity with not much in the way of men's men. Now compare that against the original cast:

Eli Wallach, Yul Brenner, Steve McQueen, Horst Buchholz, Charles Bronson, Robert Vaughn, Brad Dexter, James Colburn

Yeah. No comparison. Speaking of which, I think I'll set down and watch The Seven Samurai and it's American cousin this weekend.



Blogger Mighty Lou December 16, 2016 11:45 AM  

@78

Well, the first films had some memorable characters: Yoda and Vader. Luke he was your generic hero, and Han Solo, well you might as well call him Han Jones because it was Harrison that made the character.

While I agree with every point you made, I still believe that in terms of ticket sales, what drew the masses (not the diehards) to the theatre and ultimately kept the franchise alive for the past 40 years were the light sabers. It all boils down to a gimmick really, and that's hat the next big thing needs, sad to say but it's true.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 11:47 AM  

I suppose Sith is like being gay. If you see someone walking around with a Glock... well... someone had to sell it to him.

Anonymous Just another commenter December 16, 2016 11:48 AM  

I have to admit I've not seen any of the last three Star Wars movies. I watched the trailers, read the reviews, and said to myself "they turned a great classic Western/American theme into a PC crap-fest. Nope." The original was great, but Lucas either didn't understand why it was a hit and went the wrong way out of ignorance, or he correctly understood why but hated and tried to subvert it out of spite. Either way, the first trilogy was classic Americana, the rest of it a SJW wet dream with fancy graphics.

Blogger BassmanCO December 16, 2016 11:48 AM  

Nate, you enjoyed Episode 7? Unlike most people, I enjoyed the prequels (visually entertaining, crap writing), but hated The Force Awakens. Did you write about it on your blog? I'm curious what you liked about it.

Blogger Boko Harambe December 16, 2016 11:49 AM  

@ 72. Sigh. Can't they just leave that one alone? I STILL read L'Engle from time to time, and STILL get something new out of it each time, and it usually brings me insight into other, more complex works I've had difficulty parsing.

Bringing that book and it's sequels to the screen requires an Alt-Right/White mind, one convicted of the existence of evil and what is required to fight it. None such exist in Hollywood or at Disney, and the film will pervert the moral of the original story.

Blogger Balázs Varga December 16, 2016 11:50 AM  

Disney is not doing anything out of their morality. They just want money, and thus make movies that apply to the widest set of audience.

If that does not include you, do not buy their product. Give to a company that you like better. Reeing is not the answer. Buying from companies that you like is the answer.

That is why I'll be spending my money to Games Workshop, and not Disney. They even have a SJW themed army with Slaanesh!

But if they ever made a movie with the Empire winning and Darth Vader being a badass, it would most likely be the best selling movie ever.

Blogger Deadmau5 Patton December 16, 2016 11:50 AM  

"...then we are no different from SJWs."

How many fedora wearing edgelords are going to repeat this statement? Rolling over and telling SJW's that we're better than them will do nothing but secure their power over us unto eternity.

Your type prescribes that we bring pepper spray to a nuclear war.

My prescription to you is- get out of the way or else you'll get rolled over along with SJW's.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 11:52 AM  

@102 What did you expect them to say? "We loaded it with anti-white propaganda and we hate white people and white culture, please give us your money anyway?"

Anonymous Edjamacator December 16, 2016 11:55 AM  

It's funny how the cartoons seem to do a better job than the movies. I liked the Clone Wars series and I like Rebels. White dudes, white chick, green chick that talks white, droid with attitude that shows more character than some humans in the movies. They even have Darth Maul saying actual words and brought in Thrawn. The movies are eye-candy and can mostly be watched after turning your mind off, so they have that going for them.

Blogger Deadmau5 Patton December 16, 2016 11:55 AM  

@102 "movie is free of SJW propaganda"

Was it made in hollywood? Is it the current year?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, then the statement that there is no SJW propaganda in the movie is false.

Blogger Boko Harambe December 16, 2016 11:55 AM  

Ah, yes, of course. Wise Afro-femmes are the reborn stars with the wisdom of the ages to proffer children who could never know better without the guidance of their blackness. And of course the kids are a mystery-meat mix, and the genius parents are none other than the talented black physicists all us white folk keep down by our privilege.

Spare me.

Wasn't this already done with The Wiz? Black folk really ought to appreciate they own culchuh for a change.

Blogger Michael Neal December 16, 2016 11:55 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger YIH December 16, 2016 11:56 AM  

From the New Yorker link:
The protagonist of “Rogue One,” Jyn Erso, is first seen as a child, living in extreme rustic isolation
Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, IV, I and V.
Why no kid in a filthy part of a city or aboard a spaceship? Someone was phoning it in.
Heard on the news this morning, Solo dies. I know, I know, he was shish-kebbabed in VII so why would he be offed in another flick too? WDF?
Sounds like a ''don't even bother with Pirate Bay'' film. It'll probably be released to DVD next fall and be priced down to the $5 bin shortly after.

Blogger VFM #7634 December 16, 2016 11:59 AM  

/smh

But much of the backlash has focused on the idea that Rogue One is racist against white men. Are you saying that white supremacist sentiment isn’t a factor in the protest?

So if you don't like white men being portrayed negatively, you're a "white supremacist"?

Fine. Fuck it. I'm a "white supremacist".

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 12:00 PM  

@104 most of the old school ilk liked The Force Awakens. Primarily because it was in fact a star wars movie. The girl-power complaints always rang especially hollow with me because a strong argument can be made that Star Wars actually invented Girl Power in movies. Leah was just as good with a blaster as Han was. She was the Princess that didn't need rescuing. Or sure as hell didn't think she needed rescuing.

The X-wing hero shot made the movie for me. Was it mostly nostalgia? No question. But that's how you know that got a lot of it right. If they hadn't there wouldn't have been that nostalgia.

OpenID wesleyfulton December 16, 2016 12:00 PM  

It seems like if they were smart, the folks promoting "Rogue One" might play up the political ambiguity a bit more. The rebels easily be cast as an allegory for the alt-right and/or the Trump campaign:

1. Ragtag group of mostly-young outsiders leveraging better understanding of technology and spirituality to battle mostly-old insiders who are set in their ways? Check.

2. Facing odds that everyone assures them are impossible? Check.

3. Promoting ideas that the reigning powers want to see exterminated? Check.

4. The establishment is using a weapon of unimaginable destructive power, yet which has a curiously glaring flaw that can be ruthlessly exploited by clever outsiders? Check.

5. Establishment is mostly cold and humorless, while the rebels are snarky and funny? Check.

6. Establishment puts its faith in the power of an overwhelming mass of faceless hordes, while the rebels place faith in tradition and individual exceptionalism? Check.

I could go on... :)

Blogger Bogey December 16, 2016 12:01 PM  

Don't underestimate how much SJWs want to be the bad guys to. "But I want to be a storm trooper too waaahhhhhh!"

Blogger praetorian December 16, 2016 12:02 PM  

OK, OK.

If Greg Johnson liked it, I'm willing to steal it.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 12:02 PM  

"But much of the backlash has focused on the idea that Rogue One is racist against white men. Are you saying that white supremacist sentiment isn’t a factor in the protest?"

weird.

I honestly don't care if it portrays evil white people as the villians.

I'm not interested because it looks boring as all hell.

Anonymous Rolf December 16, 2016 12:03 PM  

@18 - CUT TO cluttered office with treadmill desk. Armor, guns, antlers, books, camping and emergency supplies, more books, and blades crowd the shelves surrounding the man pacing steadily at his computer. He smiles.
ROLF NELSON: I might know someone with a script something like that. Say, a novel written in screenplay format long enough for a modest series, with strong pro-western and pro-freedom themes. I even still have full movie rights if you seriously want to talk. Drop me a line.

Blogger Lew Rand December 16, 2016 12:03 PM  

As commented earlier, my son when he plays SW games (all the time) exclusively plays the Empire side. And this was before Force Awakens...

Also your last line about the blandness almost makes me think they Guy Fulbrushed themselves. Can't have any incompetent or self demeaning non-white males can we (and thus no real character)

Blogger Bogey December 16, 2016 12:04 PM  

5. Establishment is mostly cold and humorless, while the rebels are snarky and funny? Check. Uncheck, snark is a favorite of the left. We are not John Stewart.

Anonymous Athor Pel December 16, 2016 12:08 PM  

"92. Blogger bob kek mando ...
58. Athor Pel December 16, 2016 10:52 AM
Sith follow the rule of two. Only two Sith at any one time, a student and a master.

which is sooooooo dumb. it doesn't make any sense, in universe or out.

it's perfectly okay for there to be thousands of Jedi running around ... but there can NEVER be more than two ( and sometimes only one, until a new apprentice is found ) Sith?

where's the "balance" in that?
....
"


Yeah, on it's own it doesn't make much sense.

What I posted was from watching some Star Wars nerd back story videos the other day where they also talked about there being a crapload of dark Jedi in the literary SW universe. So there's your pool of recruits. Seems some Jedi are regularly travelling to planets stewing in the dark side of the force and getting corrupted.

Anonymous #8601 December 16, 2016 12:09 PM  

@35 BrerFox - The protagonist this time around is a run of the mill action grrl with the upper body strength of a silverback

She don't hold no candle to Harambe.

Blogger Bogey December 16, 2016 12:10 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Alexandros December 16, 2016 12:10 PM  

Nate wrote:@104 most of the old school ilk liked The Force Awakens. Primarily because it was in fact a star wars movie.


To this day I am genuinely astounded that people compare the movie favorably to any other movie outside of an MST3k feature like Space Mutiny. I walked out of the movie due to the insanely terrible plot combined with the pathetic acting, yet I only see youtube personalities mention the latter deficiency in the film—I felt a visceral, physical pain when Carrie Fisher delivered her lines for example, but she wasn't even the worst.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 12:14 PM  

@48 From the counter-currents review: "In Rogue One, the rebels meet firepower with firepower, until the Death Star rolls up and vaporizes them."

Sounds like Rogue One isn't even true to the original storyline. It was a surprise the the rebels in Episode IV that the Death Star was ready to roll.

Blogger Bogey December 16, 2016 12:15 PM  

After seeing all of them one wonders if The Empire Strikes Back was just a mistake, the one that got away before they could make it suck.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 12:16 PM  

The best thing about The Force Awakens was all of the space dindu memes that it spawned.

Blogger Sam Lively December 16, 2016 12:17 PM  

The Brody clown from the New Yorker almost makes me want to watch it - his favorite two entrants in the series are Clones and Sith! That and the French New Wave name-dropping in his bio make him a contrary indicator for me.

But I'm still not watching this in theaters. Even if Rogue One is vanilla on the propaganda front, Disney is unquestionably an enemy, and arguably the biggest cultural enemy the Christian West faces.

Blogger Boko Harambe December 16, 2016 12:18 PM  

@ 121, yes, but not in a hammer blow over the head kind of way. Grand Moff Tarkin says it's time to demonstrate the full power of the DS...if it hadn't been fully demonstrated before, why say so?

This playing around with canon lore in a fictional universe beloved by nerds might seem like so much folly, but it forces me to ponder how often this has been done with history and all other extra-mathematical malleable "facts" we teach our kids.

Blogger Bogey December 16, 2016 12:19 PM  

@121 They end up on Alderaan? Right before Peter Cushing orders its destruction? That might be worth the price of admission.

Blogger Nathan Wright December 16, 2016 12:19 PM  

Oh boy ... A movie about Teutons versus the Chaos of Races. Someone page Houston Stewart Chamberlain.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 12:23 PM  

"To this day I am genuinely astounded that people compare the movie favorably to any other movie outside of an MST3k feature like Space Mutiny. "

Then you're easily astounded.

There was a lot to like about TFA. not that it was good... Generally I put it 4th in the series. Better than Jedi... not as good as Sith.

Blogger Sam Lively December 16, 2016 12:23 PM  

@108

It was fan fic with a big enough budget to coax the original cast into humiliating cameos.

Blogger Michael Neal December 16, 2016 12:24 PM  

" you seriously want to talk. Drop me a line."

Hmmmmm I will sounds interesting

Anonymous Bz December 16, 2016 12:24 PM  

@14, Last resort: Tell them "But it's a girls' movie!".

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 12:25 PM  

Also... its utterly retarded to complain about the acting in star wars movies. Star Wars Acting is a thing. All the actors are terrible. They are ordered to be terrible in a specific way that is indicitive, even tradition, for a Star Wars Movie.

It would be like criticizing a stage actor for being overly dramatic... or complaining about about a black dude talking at the screen in the theatre.

Some things just are.

Anonymous Nathan December 16, 2016 12:29 PM  

@121,

Empire is the one they started right. Too bad Leigh Brackett passed away after her first draft was complete.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 12:29 PM  

@129 DO IT. The Stars Came Back is freaking outstanding. Look at the reviews on amazon... and this is people reading it in script form. its not even novelized.

DO IT.

unless you suck and you're going to make it crap.

Then don't do it.

or I'll hunt you down tear off your left arm and rape you with it.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 12:31 PM  

Left arm? Oddly specific.

Blogger Duke Norfolk December 16, 2016 12:39 PM  

Cail Corishev wrote:Without that, it was visually impressive, but emotionally empty. Which is pretty much the story of the prequels.

Exactly this. I couldn't find myself caring enough to watch any of them for more than half or so (and then only because I forced myself to just in case it got better). And that was at home; I don't go theaters any more. For various reasons.

Blogger Duke Norfolk December 16, 2016 12:41 PM  

pyrrhus wrote:Frankly, I thought even the original Star Wars was a fairly lame space opera with some good scenes, actors and motifs.....

Ditto. I remember being impressed by the first one, but I was about 14 at the time. Not a high hurdle.

Blogger Michael Neal December 16, 2016 12:43 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Sam Lively December 16, 2016 12:44 PM  

@127

Jedi's Luke/Vader/Emperor finale is maybe the best sequence in the entire trilogy.

Sith was just bad. Christensen is on the Ryan Phillippe/Paul Walker tier of hilariously bad actors and ruined just about every big scene. Lucas' direction of even the competent actors produced similar results - Portman looks like she's emoting at gunpoint, Sam Jackson turns in the worst performance of his career, and Ewan McWhatever turned Kenobi into a flavorless bureaucrat who turns on Anakin with all the righteous fury of a driver's ed instructor.

Sith does have the tour de force performance from Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine - that's the most Star Warsy element of the entire prequel trilogy. But that oasis of quality just makes the rest of it more disappointing.

Blogger Duke Norfolk December 16, 2016 12:47 PM  

Laconophile wrote:Modern Parents

Yep. Can't be teaching your kids anything other than how to follow the latest fad, keep up with the Joneses, and mindlessly following the herd. Nope.

Blogger Alexandros December 16, 2016 12:53 PM  

Nate wrote:Also... its utterly retarded to complain about the acting in star wars movies. Star Wars Acting is a thing. All the actors are terrible. They are ordered to be terrible in a specific way that is indicitive, even tradition, for a Star Wars Movie.

That's the thing, this was a low which blew even "I don't like sand" out of the water in terms of sheer incompetence and it was evident across nearly the entire cast. There is a minimum bar for enjoyable acting and they drilled far past it. If we can expect similar from these yearly star wars movies, we can probably expect it to devolve into self-parody.

Blogger Cetera December 16, 2016 12:56 PM  

Just in case any of you want to remain unspoiled, here's my preliminary thoughts on Rogue One:

Pros:

1. This is easily the best Star Wars movie of the last 33 years.

2. It not only makes ANH a far, far better movie, it makes all of the original trilogy better movies. I need to see it more than once, and let it sit, and then watch it and ANH back-to-back and see what I think then, but it may actually elevate ANH over ROTJ. If so, that may make Rogue One one of the top two SW movies.

3. It is everything I've wanted out of a new SW movie, and more. It is also just a decent film in its own right, and should stand alone just fine.

4. J.J. Abrams should be kicked in the balls repeatedly for the farce that was Episode 7. This movie reveals what real, talented people can actually do when they try and approach the source films with intelligence and respect. This film makes Ep 7 worse, much worse, in comparison. Honestly, Disney should pull an X-Men 3 move, and just post-birth abort Ep 7 and pretend like it never happened. Redo it, kill it, whatever.

5. The movie looks perfect stylistically. It retains every bit of the late 70s and early 80s feel, with modern visualization. They used and re-used material from the OT to make it, and it works really well. They went back to Ralph McQuarrie's illustrations and copied his style, much like Star Wars Rebels has been doing. They realized scenes and locations we had a glimpse of before, or believed must exist, but hadn't seen yet.

6. It is truly a movie about a war amongst the stars. It is, first and foremost, a war movie, and it isn't kid friendly at all. When you watch this movie, you see some shit go down. Nothing quite like 13 Hours, but leaning more in that direction than anything else yet seen in SW.

Cons:

I have only very minor complaints.

1. The score pretty much sucks. It is uninspired, and uninspiring. It is almost generic elevator music from the Star Wars universe. Nothing stood out to me as memorable or great. There weren't any new themes, and it didn't do a great job of driving emotion, except in one particular point of the movie.

2. The CG of certain characters is absolutely perfect from a photo-realism perspective. However, because of this, their is an uncanny valley effect present. They look perfect, but don't quite move perfectly, particularly about the lips, and the effect can be very distracting. When they are standing there motionless, however, they are absolutely believable, and even indistinguishable, from the real thing.

3. Star Wars canon has officially embraced the Ep 7 style of hyperspace, where everything in the entire universe is only moments away, in contrast to the hours and hours it took in hyperspace in the OT. It isn't horrible, but it kinda sucks.




It is a slower paced movie, especially in the middle, which some people don't like. Personally, I think it is great they took the time to let it breathe, and isn't trying to overstimulate you the entire time. You need a little bit of time to get to know the characters, and there are constant little pieces here and there that were references and homages that weren't "in your face", but just well done.

Oh, and it has the best space battle of any SW movie in it. That might be because it is new, but it is at least as good (for me) as the ROTJ space battle, and the ground action is actually better than ROTJ.


As far as the racial components, I don't care. There are white folk in the rebellion too, and shown here, but I just don't care. The over-doing-it with white Nazi's and minority everything else was in Ep. 7. I think it is a good piece of entertainment, and one that isn't necessarily PC, anymore than ANH was in 1977.

Blogger Cetera December 16, 2016 1:00 PM  

BTW, that New Yorker review is terrible, and has no bearing to reality at all, just like almost everything else in the New Yorker.

If you liked Star Wars growing up, but thought that everything since then has sucked, then this movie will take you back there. R1 and the OT can basically be the entirety of the SW universe, as far as I'm concerned, and I'll be happy and content.

Blogger bob kek mando: i can't be racist. why, some of my best friends are ((( Literally Hitler ))). { Vox Gayness intensifies } December 16, 2016 1:02 PM  

VD
Also, as it happens, the movie sucks:



oh, come on.

that fucking moron thinks the two 'best' Star Wars films are
"There’s none of the Shakespearean space politics, enticingly florid dialogue, or experiential thrills of the best of George Lucas’s “Star Wars” entries (“Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”)."


Rogue One may well suck, but i ain't taking that idiot's word for it.

the sad thing is, regardless of quality, R1 will probably make a ton of money.

the prequel trilogy proved that.


91. Nate December 16, 2016 11:44 AM
I think its more evidence that star wars nerds don't understand context. "Always two there are"... means if you find one... you know there is another.

not... no where in the galaxy are there more than 2.



a - not true for movie purposes. large swathes of all seven movies involve one of the existing Sith being galactic distances from the other.

b - you'd best explain that to Yoda, because you didn't give his full quote:
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Rule_of_Two
""Always two there are; no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.""




97. BassmanCO December 16, 2016 11:48 AM
I'm curious what you liked about it.



practically every plot point in ep7 was stolen from ep4-6.

it was done in a fairly workmanlike manner, the FX were above average and we had a decent villain.

ep7 wasn't aggressively stupid ( oooh, dookie on JarJar shoe ) like eps 1-2 were.

no reason why you shouldn't just watch 4-6 and be done with it, though. even Han Solo knows blowing up Death Stars is just tedious at this point.




108. Nate December 16, 2016 12:00 PM
a strong argument can be made that Star Wars actually invented Girl Power in movies. Leah was just as good with a blaster as Han was. She was the Princess that didn't need rescuing. Or sure as hell didn't think she needed rescuing.



true. she spends lots of 4-5 yelling at the guys, telling them how dumb and inept they are.



124. Boko Harambe December 16, 2016 12:18 PM
but it forces me to ponder how often this has been done with history and all other extra-mathematical malleable "facts" we teach our kids.



i happened to look up the Jewish opinion on Job.

it's hilarious. they can't even make up their minds whether he's one of the seven goyish prophets ( did you know there were prophets to the goyim in the OT? and the Jews know it? ) or whether he's of the tribe.

they don't even present real arguments from the text. they just assume ( depending on the rabbi ) what he is according to whatever point they're trying to make.



134. Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 12:31 PM
Left arm? Oddly specific.



he's using your sinister arm for a reason.

Blogger darkdoc December 16, 2016 1:05 PM  

I'm tired of black supremacy, Hispanic supremacy, and Asian supremacy.

So BITE ME.

Blogger Conan the Cimmerian December 16, 2016 1:10 PM  

Face it you bunch of Star Dork Bastards, The Beastmaster kicks the shit outta all the new Star Wars movies.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083630/

Blogger bob kek mando: i can't be racist. why, some of my best friends are ((( Literally Hitler ))). { Vox Gayness intensifies } December 16, 2016 1:10 PM  

137. Michael Neal December 16, 2016 12:43 PM
Nate, Here is a trailer for my current project a post-apocalyptic series,



Bill Whittle is in Hollywood and has experience working in the industry. he's done a couple of shoestring films himself ( which i've not seen ).

you might try talking to him.

Anonymous Rolf December 16, 2016 1:12 PM  

@134 - It's just Nate's sinister side coming out. bada-bing

Anonymous Jon Bromfield December 16, 2016 1:16 PM  

Seems to me Hollywood has come up with the perfect SJW formula for the SW franchise:

Cast cheap no-name minorities in lead roles. Use money saved for special effects.

Use white men for the really important highly paid behind-the-camera positions (writers, director, cinematographer, film editors).

Repeat using even more cheap unknown minorities in lead roles.

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 16, 2016 1:26 PM  

The only really good one was the fight between Darth Maul, the young Obi-wan, and Liam Neeson.

Hear hear!

Also, Donnie Yen is in Rogue One? I just felt my first tinge of interest in it. But surely he doesn't get any awesome fight scenes?

Blogger B.J. December 16, 2016 1:26 PM  

-Funny that it's always dudes making "strong empowered womyn" characters. Female writers would make the leads two ripped dudes and have them fight over the heroine's affections.

-Insidious thing about this is the Star Wars brand will sell no matter what, but they're going to use box office numbers to justify cramming female/non-white male leads into even more movies.

Blogger Tex December 16, 2016 1:26 PM  

From the Star Wars novelization...

"I know that several transmissions were beamed to this vessel by spies within that system. When we traced those transmissions back to the individuals with whom they originated, they had the poor grace to kill themselves before they could be questioned."
-- Darth Vader to Leia Organa

It it ended like THAT, I pay to see it.

Tex
(if only...)

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 16, 2016 1:28 PM  

Needless to say, this aggression will not stand, man.

Deplorable, is what it is.

Blogger B.J. December 16, 2016 1:28 PM  

Side point: the success of the Marvel movies has been entirely due to traditionally masculine white male characters, and the failure of their future movies will come from their attempts to change this.

Blogger Sam Lively December 16, 2016 1:34 PM  

@131

No it's not. In the OT, Lucas did a great job matching characters to roles.

Carrie Fisher was mostly terrible, but had a part that required very little and matched her pretty closely - she was a spoiled Hollywood brat in real life. She did pretty well with the romantic subplot in Empire.

Hamill actually wasn't bad. Did solid work as a simple, enthusiastic, painfully earnest farmboy, with only a few groaners. His over-earnestness was actually a plus.

Harrison Ford was outstanding - not only knocked it out of the park as Han Solo but made everyone around him better (Chewie is pretty much all him).

Then Lucas had the sense to match over-the-top Shakespearean actors to quasi-Shakespearean parts - Guinness, James Earl Jones, Cushing, McDiarmid.

It's the same formula that worked so well for Ridley Scott in Gladiator - Australian beef for the soldier hero, Elliot Rodger type for Commodus and the best of the Brits for the rest.

The prequels had a much tougher time. Hallmark cherub Jake Lloyd and then whiny, worm-tongued Christensen, both terrible actors, as the Othello lead. Sam Jackson completely lost as to where to take Mace Windu. Liam Neeson dull and constipated. Mischievous, energetic McGregor forced into a thankless schoolmarm role. The Fetts turned into Maoris for no apparent reason. The Trade Federation a bunch of incomprehensible babblers. Only Oz, Lee and McDiarmid were appropriately cast.

Blogger dc.sunsets December 16, 2016 1:43 PM  

The next Star Wars: Rouge Mary Sue Two will trade out light sabers for light scissors for the big fight scene.

Damn you, BBGKB! Put a TRIGGER WARNING on this stuff so readers won't be in the middle of sipping tea when they get to the punchline! It could have cost me a keyboard!

Blogger dc.sunsets December 16, 2016 1:46 PM  

I'm an indie filmmaker that sort of bought into this diversity BS for my first couple of projects

Message Fiction is a terrible mistake (one in which I personally engaged, much to my embarrassment now.)

Anonymous Cheddarman December 16, 2016 1:47 PM  

Nate,

If you look real close, you can see that all of the rebel blasters are made by Glock in "The Force Awakens."

Anonymous Thales December 16, 2016 1:49 PM  

He just wants to go see Rogue One for Darth Vader LOL

To be honest, I am tempted for the very same reason, but not enough to suffer through the watching.

Blogger dc.sunsets December 16, 2016 1:50 PM  

@25 Frankly, I thought even the original Star Wars was a fairly lame space opera with some good scenes, actors and motifs.....

It was a western, set in space. What made it special in 1977 was the experience in the movie theater. People today (including me) are blase about it (and "Episode IV" translates poorly into the present for that reason) but back when it was first run, it was nothing short of amazing.

But a western, executed as space opera? Yeah. No doubt.

Blogger bob kek mando: i can't be racist. why, some of my best friends are ((( Literally Hitler ))). { Vox Gayness intensifies } December 16, 2016 1:50 PM  

an honest ep 7 review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 2:08 PM  

@157 The only good part of the movie, apparently. Glock is the overall best option for carrying a pistol & reasonable quantity of ammo beyond the limits of your living room.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 2:14 PM  

Especially the 9mm.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 16, 2016 2:18 PM  

Spoiler Alert

My Rogue One Theory is completely wrong.

Anonymous BBGKB December 16, 2016 2:26 PM  

Movie is really freaking good by all accounts, quite a bit better than TFA.

The people here are not like the stupid faggots I tricked into breaking the boy cot against "Ender's Game" by describing the shower scene. People told us Depression QUest was great.

I will see them driven before me and hear the lamentations of their trannies.

The trannies were lamenting even when they thought Crooked Eye Clinton had it in the bag.

"Always two there are"... means if you find one... you know there is another. not... no where in the galaxy are there more than 2.

Who was the master between (((Sandusky and Graham Spanier)))?

But if they ever made a movie with the Empire winning and Darth Vader being a badass, it would most likely be the best selling movie ever.

Wouldn't outsell "Come to the Dark Side: 50 Shades of Sith"

So if you don't like white men being portrayed negatively, you're a "white supremacist"?

If you don't do this you are a NotSee
If you don't do that you are a NotSee
If you don't dance arnound in a pink tie and top hat you are a NotSee
Even Dave Chappel was smart enough to notice the goal posts move.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb1WUVAtseU

Left arm? Oddly specific. That's what moslems use instead of toilet paper.

This is easily the best Star Wars movie of the last 0.3 years. FIFY

Damn you, BBGKB! Put a TRIGGER WARNING on this stuff so readers won't be in the middle of sipping tea

If you need trigger warnings this blog is the wrong place, you didn't even put one before reposting it. Actually I was not sure that many would get it was a lesbian scissor joke.

Glock is the overall best option for carrying a pistol & reasonable quantity of ammo beyond the limits of your living room.

If you have big hands check out the FN57 but you have to order ammo from Europe.

Anonymous Be Deplorable, Not Afraid December 16, 2016 2:27 PM  

I remember the Chinese TFA posters didn't have Boyega on them, as the Chinese aren't exactly predisposed in favor of Blacks. There've been a lot of stories about China's increasing power in Hollywood. I await the day when the Chinese tell Disney, "No more Black people," and then Disney blames it on racist Americans.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 2:30 PM  

@164 "If you have big hands check out the FN57 but you have to order ammo from Europe."

It's a good gun but the unavailability of ammo is definitely an issue. I have seen 5.7 for sale in bulk at decent prices, but not in a long time.

Blogger Doom December 16, 2016 2:39 PM  

It's finally out! I have been waiting what seems like YEARS to not watch this film. I didn't watch any of them until... the mid 80's. I really shouldn't have even then.

Blogger bob kek mando: i can't be racist. why, some of my best friends are ((( Literally Hitler ))). { Vox Gayness intensifies } December 16, 2016 2:45 PM  

thank you for this, so brave.

Anonymous VFM#1819 December 16, 2016 2:46 PM  

I'm happy to see more people joining me in my now 20 year old boycott of Star Wars. Every movie after Jedi was nothing but movie length versions of that shitskin dance party in that one Matrix sequel. Star Wars jumped the shark at Jar-Jar. That is a fact. Fuck the fanbois.

Anonymous BBGKB December 16, 2016 2:47 PM  

I have seen 5.7 for sale in bulk at decent prices, but not in a long time.

You can buy weaker ammo for it from Federal Ammunition that is about 400 FPS slower

Anonymous Drew December 16, 2016 2:47 PM  

Caveat: I've been a Star Wars fan since I was a kid so I'm definitely prone to look at it in a better light than some.

TL;DR - I liked the movie more than TFA because it's good fan service served up with raw action and fewer SJW pretenses than TFA.

I saw it and loved it. Jynn is definitely nowhere near as annoyingly OP as Rey was. She gets saved/beaten up several times over the course of the movie. It's not as stridently feminist. There was none of that, "stop taking my hand," crap. They even left out the line from the trailer about her being a rebel who, "rebels." It is true that there are not many prominent white males on the side of Rebellion except for some surprise Episode 4 cameos that are definitely spoilers.

I enjoyed The Force Awakens as well, but this movie was better for me for a few reasons. Vader's brief appearances are as good if not better than his best scenes in the Original Trilogy. The space battles are better than ROTJ but not quite as good as TFA. The ground battles are reminiscent of an actual war movie, rather than the CGI armies slamming into each other in the prequels. A few other reviewers have said this movie puts the Wars in Star Wars, and I'm inclined to agree.

It's definitely not without flaws. The beginning sequences jump around too much, the composer is a heaping pile of shit compared to the worst of John Williams' work, and Saw Guerrera was severely underutilized for how he was pushed in the trailers. It's not really a character story, so I didn't get too attached to the main characters. It does however provide a larger context for the war against the Empire, and shows just how powerful it really is. It fills in some gaps in A New Hope while also paying homage to it. It has a significantly darker tone than TFA, which I liked but others may not like as much.

P.S I also really enjoyed Riding the Red Horse, the Quantum Mortis books, and am getting started on the first of the Carrera books. If Castalia made an Alt-Right Star Wars competitor, I'd happily throw money at it!

Blogger Kona Commuter December 16, 2016 2:49 PM  

'member Star Wars?

Yeah I 'member

South Park on the ball with Memberberries

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 16, 2016 2:52 PM  

dc.sunsets wrote:What made it special in 1977 was the experience in the movie theater. People today (including me) are blase about it (and "Episode IV" translates poorly into the present for that reason) but back when it was first run, it was nothing short of amazing.
I was 18 in 1977. I cannot describe the impact of the opening scene, when the star destroyer passes over head, and keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger, and you think you're at the end, and it turns out it's a landing bay for other star ships and it keeps going and going.
Keep in mind that special effects of the day only occasionally reached even the level of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Mostly it was Star Trek and Dr. Who level "fake something up and don't worry about it, it's not important" style special effects, matte paintings and dressed-up trash cans.
That one shot had so much visual and emotional impact that it was worth every stupid line, every badly-delivered character, every plot disconnect. It was a cigarette boat fight and aircraft carrier. I went to see the movie 15 or 20 times over a few months, mostly so I could re-experience that one shot.

Anonymous Loki7 December 16, 2016 2:53 PM  

``...sinister white men...`` Having worked recently in the oil industry I`ve read up on it`s history. Yeah, so the chinese were the the first to drill/extract/pipe crude oil 2,000 years ago. All they wanted was the napha. The rest they just dumped into their waterways. You can guess what that did.

Anonymous Stirner December 16, 2016 2:53 PM  

#48

That reviewer is not "some guy" - Trevor Lynch is the author of A White Nationalist at the Movies. Excellent film criticism from an Alt Right perspective.

If he says Rogue One is a good movie, it is worth keeping an open mind. I've seen the same marketing for the film, and have been expecting a giant cuckfest. To see that he rates Rogue One even higher than the originals is incredibly surprising.

Blogger Latigo3 December 16, 2016 2:53 PM  

It makes me mad that the movies that were such a part of my childhood have come to this. It was a big deal to show my kids the first Star Wars movies, they loved them.
Waiting for the pendulum to swing back, I'm Hispanic and I am sick of all the Hispanics and Blacks in the movies, I am sick of roles being re-cast to accommodate the victims. I saw the new Magnificent Seven and although I like Denzel, I was not impressed. The bossy angry white woman, the bad guys were all white and a business man, I can go on and on. I won't be watching Rogue One.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 2:58 PM  

...the composer is a heaping pile of shit compared to the worst of John Williams' work...

The score has such a huge and often unnoticed impact on the way a movie is perceived. Have a score written by a master like John Williams or Ennio Morricone, and you've got an instant classic.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 3:04 PM  

@175 What kind of half assed white nationalist wants to financially support Disney?

Blogger MordWa December 16, 2016 3:05 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger cavalier973 December 16, 2016 3:13 PM  

Mail should have been Jinn's former apprentice who turned to the dark side because Jinn himself displays some questionable morals. This would set up a pattern for Obi-Wan and Anakin.

Blogger MordWa December 16, 2016 3:13 PM  

Rogue One is competently made, and generally fine - despite casting, and the writer's comments, I didn't really think there was much agenda-pushing that made it on screen.

My theory is, you can judge how good a SW film is by how many climaxes they try to fit in (Insert your own dirty joke ___ here).
Consider (in order of release)

EpIV - Film 1, one final battle; the assault on the Death Star. Well paced, and maybe the best directed air raid scene of all time. Certainly on par with Battle of Britain, Dambusters and the like.
EpV - Film 2, two final battles; Luke vs Vader, notable in that there was clarity in what it wanted to achieve - show that Luke was badly overmatched and Vader could kill him at any moment but chose not to. Second battle, Leia & etc escape Cloud City. More pew pew, and had ticking clock (Fett leaving with Han-cicle), but less well set up than the other arc (rightly so).
EpVI - Third film, three final battles; Vader v Luke v Emperor, Assault on Death Star Redux, Teddy Ruxpin's cannibal cookout (okay, so the Ewoks are not technically cannibals; but everyone forgets they were going to BBQ Han and Luke before Leia stepped in. How many Stormtroopers were put on the spit after the battle was over? Did any of the Rebels 'try the local cuisine'?
Ep I - fourth film, FOUR final battles - Anakin in a Naboo fighter, Jar Jar goes ass-backwards to glory, Padme retakes the throne, Maul v Kenobi v Jesus. It's the 90's, so we're jumping randomly between each climax in the hope that no one will notice that 'non-stop action' replaces 'drama'.
Ep II - fifth film, someone may have noticed now - we're back to two main threads - the titular 'Attack of the Clones', and getting everything you can out of Christopher Lee whilst he's still alive. THe problems of this film had nothing to do with the setup.
Ep III - Sixth film, climaxes - well, we're still back at two (OB1 vs Emo Vader, and Yoda vs the Punch and Judy pantomime (said with love; the best part of Ian Mcdiarmid's Emperor is that he's not just Evil (tm), he's flat out a complete dick. He taunts subordinates, threatens petty revenge, and never ever tries to be a 'cool' villain. It's refreshing, in it's own way. THe problems with this films ending are the same as LOTR: ROTK - it just refuses to end. Too many post climax scenes.
Ep VII - Seventh film; back to two main threads; Mary Sue vs Totally Not Darth, and Ambiguously Gay Pilot(tm) vs Totally Not the Death Star. This was fine, apart from lens flare, JJ.
R1 - Starting to bloat again; spoilers, I guess; Climaxes? Well, there's a big space battle, but with a given amount of 'aww, c'mon people - physics? But one the ground, Mary Sue II is playing 'Doom' with corridors, data cards and switches, Ambiguously Gay Duo(tm) trust the force (x2); Nervy pilot Proves a Hero After All(tm). Technically all part of one ground battle, but there's so little coordination between them that they may as well be on different planets.

Hey, I enjoyed R1 enough - good to see someone with an eye for visual scale take on SW - I wasn't bored, I didn't actively hate any characters, and even though whoever is in the suit doesn't move like Vader (to me, the biggest distraction - I can't define it, but there's just something 'off' - too much spring in the step, I think)

Also, ignore any media guff about the Tarkin CGI - it's some of Peter Cushing's best work, if you just consider he was always a scary kinda guy.

The film was lacking one thing: if you're going to rip off 'the Dirty Dozen', it helps to actually have a Lee Marvin in the film. Here, it seems to occur mostly by accident. Weird, since Alistair Petrie was right there, dammit.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 3:15 PM  

"Nate, Here is a trailer for my current project a post-apocalyptic series, done on a tiny budget. I will talk with Rolf hopefully we can work something out. "

Do it.

Blogger tublecane December 16, 2016 3:16 PM  

@7-The Darth Maul fight was technically engaging but a dramatic dud. He wasn't a real character, but rather a scary head with martial arts skills. I didn't care about Liam Neeson's character. Obi-Wan was okay, and I felt a little emotion when he yelled after Neeson was stabbed, but mostly the sequence felt like shiny filler.

I know, it was supposed to be that Obi-Wan agreed to train Annakin because Neeson died. But he could have died under any circumstances, or he could have just disappeared between movies and I wouldn't have cared. It didn't have to be at the hands of Darth Maul, who didn't matter to them whatsoever except as evidence of a "phantom menace" lurking out there. Speaking of which, instead of fighting him two-on-one to the death they should've used their mini-army to capture him and find out who sent him.

Aside from the nonsense in the second prequel (including cartoon Yoda), this was the least dramatically interesting duel in any Star Wars movie by far. They could have at least given Maul motivation for revenge. (I think he mentions to the Emperor that he wants revenge.) You know, like Neeson killed his father a decade before. These things write themselves.

Look at the original series duels:

Former master against former pupil, master disincorporates so he can be of use later in the plot

Father against son, son attempts suicide to avoid joining evil father

Father against son again, son refuses to kill father so that father may redeem himself

The episode one duel has nothing on that. Guy who looks like a demon fights main characters because reasons, one of them doesn't die.

The only thing that comes close to dramatically satisfying in the prequels is the Obi-Wan-Annakin duel, and that was substantially written long before the prequel series was a gleam in George Lucas' eye.

Master and pupil fight near fire, pupil loses, is horribly burned, and gets locked in a robot suit. The rest was filler.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 3:17 PM  

@147 ripping someone's right arm off and raping them with is would be... uncivilized.

Blogger Nate December 16, 2016 3:20 PM  

"Glock is the overall best option for carrying a pistol & reasonable quantity of ammo beyond the limits of your living room."

someone find Josh and let him know the good news. He's obviously no longer The Gayest Thing Here.

Blogger MATT December 16, 2016 3:22 PM  

Chris Weitz was "Chuck and Buck", an extremely gay movie.

Blogger MordWa December 16, 2016 3:32 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous fop December 16, 2016 3:33 PM  

"the composer is a heaping pile of shit compared to the worst of John Williams' work"

Probably the most unenviable job in Hollywood. Made worse by being called in at the last minute and only having 4 weeks to do the whole thing.

Giacchino is not shit and definitely more appropriate than Desplat for this film. Personally, I would have liked it to be David Arnold.

Blogger Nigel McPhearson December 16, 2016 3:35 PM  

I'm a film technician (grip) in New York and own a small lighting company. I've been toying with the idea of an alt right film collective. Those cultural hi grounds know what I'm saying fam

Blogger Trid December 16, 2016 3:44 PM  

Why would watching the original trilogy help Disney? Last I checked they don't make a red cent if I slot the tape into my vcr

Blogger MordWa December 16, 2016 3:45 PM  

@183 Tublecane

He may not be popular around these parts, but Peter Sagal clued me on an important point, (I'm paraphrasing) "fight scenes are only really effective when used in the service of revealing 'character'". Hence why Vader-Luke is more impactful than Anakin vs droid factory. Lord help me, but Stallone of all people gets this; the Rocky films alone (flawed, obviously) are all about building character by overcoming 'etc'. So many action films work on choreography, but without considering character.

Blogger Baelzar December 16, 2016 3:50 PM  

I never liked the Darth Maul/Obi Wan/Whatsisnamewhocares fight; it was too much like dancing. The actors were concentrating so much on hitting their marks that they had almost no expression. I preferred the visceral fighting in ESR and RotJ. Less flamboyant but much more emotion.

Anonymous #8601 December 16, 2016 3:55 PM  

@189 an alt-Right "collective" is an oxymoron!

Blogger MordWa December 16, 2016 3:58 PM  

@192 True enough; although they've never released the unedited fight footage - supposedly, they had to edit out Ewan McGregor making all the lightsaber noises under his breath (couldn't help himself, he's a big kid) and also had to slow down the swordfight by 10% because he and Ray Park were so excited they kept missing their marks.

Blogger Drew Smith December 16, 2016 4:02 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous Drew December 16, 2016 4:06 PM  

fop wrote:"the composer is a heaping pile of shit compared to the worst of John Williams' work"

Probably the most unenviable job in Hollywood. Made worse by being called in at the last minute and only having 4 weeks to do the whole thing.

Giacchino is not shit and definitely more appropriate than Desplat for this film. Personally, I would have liked it to be David Arnold.


Fair enough, I'll retract and rephrase. The score he produced for Rogue One is the worst out of all the Star Wars movies. It was almost completely forgettable and at certain points the editing had his score turned up too loud relative to things I would have rather listened to (like the Death Star shooting things.) I don't know who should replace Williams in the long run, but it seems like there had to be a better choice.

I also am not fond of his work on Marvel's movies. Almost all of it is bland and unremarkable.

Blogger tublecane December 16, 2016 4:57 PM  

@196-Has there been a memorable Star Wars theme since "Duel if the Fates?" And "ba-ba, ba-da-da" pales in comparison to "duh-duh."

Film composers don't steal as well as they used to.

Blogger William Hudson December 16, 2016 5:05 PM  

I saw the original on opening night, front row center @ age 29 (think "Logan's Run") and was blown away. However, my favorite of all time was and is "Return of the Jedi" because:
1. The battle on Jabba's sand barge.
2. Leia in the slave costume.
3. Death Star II blows up real good.
Not necessarily in THAT order though....

Blogger StrongCoffee61 December 16, 2016 5:12 PM  

It's telling that Leftists use derogatory terms without ever defining them or giving specific examples.

White supremacy, for example.
The common understanding of the term means to support policies that are harmful to society but will elevate the power of Whites.

Nobody ever gives any examples of this mysterious evil.

On the other hand, what about Brown Supremacy?
Advocating politics that are damaging to society, but elevate nonwhites.

Mass immigration is a powerful example of brown supremacist politics and is openly celebrated by the Left as a way of destroying Whites political power.

Diversity preferences and quotas are another specific example of brown supremacist politics.
Less qualified people getting jobs, promotions, and university admissions in order to steal wealth and credentials from Whites.

People of the Right need to expose the stinking hypocrisy of the Left.

Blogger Noah B The MacroAggressor December 16, 2016 5:14 PM  

"People of the Right need to expose the stinking hypocrisy of the Left."

Maybe if we explain that Democrats are the real racists...

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