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Thursday, January 19, 2017

McRapey responds

John Scalzi has bravely risen to defend his ritual public humiliations of his wife against the Chateau's speciesist scorn:
John Scalzi ✔ @scalzi
1. Incidentally, it's a thing with alt-right types to try to run down my marriage, ie, HOW DARE YOU BE BESOTTED WITH YOUR WIFE YOU BETA CUCK
10:59 PM - 17 Jan 2017

John Scalzi ✔ @scalzi
2. And it really just makes me giggle. Yes, you sad little boys. I'm married to a strong awesome equal partner, for 21 years now. How awful!
11:01 PM - 17 Jan 2017

John Scalzi ✔ @scalzi
3. I mean, honestly. I'm not sure how HA HA LOOK AT THIS LOSER WHO DELIGHTS IN HIS MARRIAGE is supposed to be an insult. To ME, anyway.
11:04 PM - 17 Jan 2017

John Scalzi ✔ @scalzi
4. Mind you, if being happy with my wife sends them into paroxysms of fury, well, I guess that's a bonus? But otherwise: Silly little boys.
11:06 PM - 17 Jan 2017

 John Scalzi ✔ @scalzi
5. In sum: Yeah, being married to my wife is super-fabulous. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, any day of the week. And twice on Sundays.
11:14 PM - 17 Jan 2017
You have to see the wedding day picture to believe it. It's hilarious. As Heartiste observed: I haven’t seen a “lean out” like that since Sheryl Sandberg’s husband set his treadmill speed to “the sweet relief of marital release”.

John, no one is running down your marriage, much less sent into "paroxysms of fury" over your ongoing experiment in interspecies relations. We think it's great that you're so happily married to an orc, or half-troll, or whatever it is. No one begrudges you that. We just think it's funny. Especially when you brag about how strong your offspring are.
HALF-ORCS
These orc–human crossbreeds can be found in either orc or human society (where their status varies according to local sentiments), or in communities of their own. Half-orcs usually inherit a good blend of the physical characteristics of their parents. They are as tall as humans and a little heavier, thanks to their muscle.
    +2 Strength, –2 Intelligence, –2 Charisma.

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83 Comments:

Blogger Josh (the gayest thing here) January 19, 2017 11:01 AM  

Those tweets are the definition of try hard

Blogger haus frau January 19, 2017 11:08 AM  

That wedding photo is painful. It couldn't be more obvious that she feels she settled way, way down. The use of the word "besotted" brings to mind an image of McRape soiling himself in excitement over his wife's off hand attentions toward him....much as I refrain from petting my very submissive female dog in the house lest she wet the carpet.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 19, 2017 11:10 AM  

From Roissy's list of whys I would guess that Scalzi has some side offers that he is contemplating. No doubt plenty of the orcling females of pink scifi are plumping up for the John Boy female support system (sexual relations one time only)

Anonymous John January 19, 2017 11:14 AM  

Half orcs are typically a product of rape in traditional D&D, are they not?

Blogger Deplorable Gaiseric January 19, 2017 11:15 AM  

@4: Yeah, but c'mon. The only way Scalzi's raping that is with Rohypnol. Maybe she raped him?

Blogger dc.sunsets January 19, 2017 11:16 AM  

I've a neighbor who butched up his daughter by rewarding her endlessly for GoGrrrl sports participation.

Girls weightlifting?! YGTBKM.

Then again, if your wife is a linebacker, I guess enrolling your daughter in ballet is pretty hopeless.

As an aside, when my sons were in school it was positively painful to watch future female linebackers (and half-orcs) on the "Dance Team" and cheerleading squad. Yikes.

Anonymous Bobby Farr January 19, 2017 11:17 AM  

She must be a sci fi fan who was besotted by the brand name and thought she could overcome the disgust of breeding with a manlet.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 19, 2017 11:17 AM  

Watched part of a wedding dress show on Lifetime (wife had it on), Mormon chicky solid 9, good looking blond man for a groom, it showed a pic of him leaning in on her with his goofy grin and her OMG my feels are confused look on her pretty face. Told wife it would not last and that 22 seconds after his first honeymoon flop fest she would be texting her friends asking for validation.

You white knights need to get your shit together, our civilization is at stake.

Blogger pyrrhus January 19, 2017 11:18 AM  

As Heartiste observed: I haven’t seen a “lean out” like that since Sheryl Sandberg’s husband set his treadmill speed to “the sweet relief of marital release”.

Epic shiv...

Blogger dc.sunsets January 19, 2017 11:19 AM  

Scalzi is so publicly left that he lapped his relatively saner self multiple times. I wonder if that version of him cringes every time he clicks to post something, kind of like Voldemort every time one of his horcruxes was destroyed.

Anonymous Ray P January 19, 2017 11:20 AM  

Scalzi likely sees himself as that dwarf fella married to the strong Elven warrior-babe in Jackson's Hobbit flicks.

Blogger dc.sunsets January 19, 2017 11:24 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger dc.sunsets January 19, 2017 11:26 AM  

t seems MPAI people don't realize that what one does a lot of from 11 or 12 to about 18 creates a setpoint for life. Butching up girls then (because she "appears" athletic) insures she'll be at the extreme masculine part of her innate range for a lifetime. Those who want grandkids might recall that a woman and her cat are not a nuclear family.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 19, 2017 11:27 AM  

Scalzi is boring me with his tripe, maybe his wife can defend his pussiness "Why I love my pussy (husband)"

Blogger L' Aristokrato January 19, 2017 11:34 AM  

Is he married to a troll or is she married to a goblin?
That is the question!

Anonymous VFM #6306 January 19, 2017 11:35 AM  

Half-orcs are exclusively the children of rape.

No wonder Scalzi pledges to RAINN.

He's not just a member, he's a victim!

Blogger lowercaseb January 19, 2017 11:35 AM  

They are as tall as humans and a little heavier, thanks to their muscle.

...and they mature quickly, unlike the father.

Anonymous Sevatar January 19, 2017 11:35 AM  

Heartiste truely does have a way with words. The Shakespeare of the shitlord age. One day our children will study his texts

Anonymous VFM #6306 January 19, 2017 11:39 AM  

Scalzi as whight night for his princess.

Blogger Shimshon January 19, 2017 11:40 AM  

Someone's gotta root for poor Jonny Con.

In case you're lurking, @Scalzi.

Well played, sir, well played.

Blogger lowercaseb January 19, 2017 11:40 AM  

I really have to point out, Scalzi posts do not help my personal attempts to refrain from snarky humor. He makes it too easy...

...and that's another day I have reset the snark-free timer to O.

Anonymous trev006 January 19, 2017 11:41 AM  

The only adjustment I would make to the idea that Ms. Scalzi is open to illicit affairs:

"Hey, you're not one of those silly men dressed as women, are you?"

"No baby, I'm the real-"

*Tires squealing*

Blogger Shimshon January 19, 2017 11:43 AM  

Wow. Just wow. I'm going to have to recalibrate my scalzimiter. And redefine the scalzi.

Blogger Salt January 19, 2017 11:45 AM  

Squeeee squeeee squeeee

Blogger VFM #7634 January 19, 2017 11:48 AM  

That wedding photo is painful. It couldn't be more obvious that she feels she settled way, way down.

@2 haus frau
I suspect she is a lesbian but ashamed of it, and married Scalzi to get a beard.

Otherwise, she'd have had an affair and dumped him a long time ago, if she married him at all.

Scalzi likely sees himself as that dwarf fella married to the strong Elven warrior-babe in Jackson's Hobbit flicks.

@11 Ray P
That thought occurred to me too, after seeing the one pic on CH's Scalzi post from last week ("Exhibit B: Scalzi in love")

Anonymous cachi January 19, 2017 11:52 AM  

The first time I read the jokes about Scalzi's marriage I thought they were a bit over the top. Amazingly he made me see how wrong I was. What man would show how great his marriage is with words that seem to apply equally well to a SJW press release?: "I'm married to a strong awesome equal partner".

Now I'm convinced this guy lives a sad and desperate life, probably he is a risk to himself and others.

Anonymous a deplorable rubberducky January 19, 2017 11:57 AM  

I betcha she ball-gags him.

Blogger Bard January 19, 2017 12:00 PM  

Doesn't she play linebacker for the Packers?

Anonymous VFM #6306 January 19, 2017 12:03 PM  

She picked him up at a bar. Literally.

Anonymous A Most Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Deplorable Cents January 19, 2017 12:03 PM  

The most revealing pic is of Scalzi, his missus and the Hugo. Rather says it all in so many ways.

Blogger S1AL January 19, 2017 12:06 PM  

@Paradigm - It reminds me of a baby bird waiting to be fed.

Blogger Shimshon January 19, 2017 12:08 PM  

@30 I can't believe he approved that shot. You could excuse the lean-out marriage pic because youth. But the Hugo pic? I would ask my wife's opinion, but I'd be afraid of the disgust it might engender.

Blogger YIH January 19, 2017 12:08 PM  

Salt wrote:Squeeee squeeee squeeee


I've tried several times to find that clip in the past because it's so useful. Thank you ;)

Blogger Jew613 January 19, 2017 12:10 PM  

Whenever scalzi tweets in anger it reminds me of a 13 year old girl.

Blogger VD January 19, 2017 12:11 PM  

Whenever scalzi tweets in anger it reminds me of a 13 year old girl.

It's not in anger! How can it be in anger when we are reliably informed he is GIGGLING?

Blogger YIH January 19, 2017 12:13 PM  

VFM #7634 wrote:That wedding photo is painful. It couldn't be more obvious that she feels she settled way, way down.

@2 haus frau

I suspect she is a lesbian but ashamed of it, and married Scalzi to get a beard.

Otherwise, she'd have had an affair and dumped him a long time ago, if she married him at all.

Scalzi likely sees himself as that dwarf fella married to the strong Elven warrior-babe in Jackson's Hobbit flicks.

@11 Ray P

That thought occurred to me too, after seeing the one pic on CH's Scalzi post from last week ("Exhibit B: Scalzi in love")

There's also the possibility she wanted at least one kid, and didn't want a random bio-dad. As well as one that would at least help support the child - turkey basters are lousy at doing that.
Wouldn't be the first time that's happened.

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 19, 2017 12:20 PM  

@VD

Was that "Zil Sac" guy that came around the other day, Scalzi?

Blogger Student in Blue January 19, 2017 12:24 PM  

It's not in anger! How can it be in anger when we are reliably informed he is GIGGLING?

You'd think a half-decent writer would manage to "show, don't tell" his emotions.

Oh, wait. I answered myself.

Blogger Dexter January 19, 2017 12:25 PM  

Wedding pic Scalzi is like a baby bird begging for food...

Blogger VD January 19, 2017 12:32 PM  

Was that "Zil Sac" guy that came around the other day, Scalzi?

No.

Blogger allyn71 January 19, 2017 12:33 PM  

Scalzi is a disgusting and abhorrent little creature. Prudence restrains me from saying more.

It is a great temptation.

Blogger Rabbi B January 19, 2017 12:34 PM  

Good G-d. Every time I read something of his, all I can hear is the voice of a whiny 13 year-old girl.

Blogger Rabbi B January 19, 2017 12:35 PM  

Oh ... just saw Jew613 comment after posting. I guess I'm not the only one. LOL.

Anonymous Jack Amok January 19, 2017 12:37 PM  

I betcha she ball-gags him.

And I wouldn't blame her one bit.

Anonymous Michael Maier January 19, 2017 12:41 PM  

Ugh.

Dave Spade comes off as more midget-ish than Scalzi and he seems downright pimp when he's been shown with Heather Locklear or his various Playboy Playmate bimbettes.

When DAVID SPADE makes you look like a wuss... you might re-think things... but NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo......

Blogger Harsh January 19, 2017 12:41 PM  

If he wants to be the bottom in a quasi-homosexual union, that's his business.

Blogger Didact January 19, 2017 12:48 PM  

Yeah, he's TOTALLY not bothered by Heartiste's epic shiv. (Which I thought amounted to more of a public flaying, really.) Absolutey 100% completely not bothered at all. Seriously, Scalzi really isn't the least bit concerned with what we think of him and his marriage!!!

... which is of course why he tweeted five times in 15 minutes about it.

Oy. No wonder everyone hates Gammas.

Blogger VD January 19, 2017 12:51 PM  

Yeah, he's TOTALLY not bothered by Heartiste's epic shiv.

That's what Zero Fucks Given looks like. Respect.

Anonymous Hosswire January 19, 2017 1:01 PM  

He really does not get it. Nobody is disgusted that his wife & daughter are strong. We are disgusted that he is so weak.

Anonymous omar's running shoes January 19, 2017 1:14 PM  

While admittedly funny in one of those "comic reams a heckler until he cries" kind of ways, I just don't get why anyone gives this guy an acknowledgement. He's such a sad little twit lost in his own creepy world that it seems almost cruel.

Has he ever, even once delivered a comeback that wasn't worse than the original infraction? Isn't he supposed to be a writer or something?

Blogger Happy Housewife January 19, 2017 1:22 PM  

I can't help but feel bad for her. In all of the pictures of them as a couple, she looks mildly embarrassed. Whether it's because she knows how she looks looming over her lumpy husband or the fact that he posts embarrassing things about how great she is and how strong she is and how lucky he is to have her all the time. Most of her expressions seem to scream "enough already, twerp".

Blogger VD January 19, 2017 1:23 PM  

He's such a sad little twit lost in his own creepy world that it seems almost cruel.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Blogger Student in Blue January 19, 2017 1:23 PM  

While admittedly funny in one of those "comic reams a heckler until he cries" kind of ways, I just don't get why anyone gives this guy an acknowledgement.

He's a very useful case study in what not to do.

Blogger haus frau January 19, 2017 1:26 PM  

@51 ya know, lots of young men, mainly teenagers think that flattery excites women. The right comment, well placed can certainly get a man somewhere but repetitive cow towing just beats into a woman's psyche what a low value man, weak he must be if he feels he has to please her like that all the frickin' time. It's so heave inducing.

Anonymous Steve January 19, 2017 1:27 PM  

You silly little boys are just jealous that Scalzi gets to be the little spoon to his studly beefcake wife every night.

He feels so safe in those big meaty arms. Like being lovingly embraced by Jaws from Moonraker.

Anonymous pseudotsuga January 19, 2017 1:28 PM  

How can Scalzi actually believe that people really take him at his word when he writes stuff like that (that he doesn't care?) Or maybe he doesn't, and he's playing both sides at once...
Who are the people who are so intellectually challenged that they actually believe him? Oh, that's right -- they're Hugo voters.

Blogger Jack Aubrey January 19, 2017 1:29 PM  

VD wrote:Whenever scalzi tweets in anger it reminds me of a 13 year old girl.

It's not in anger! How can it be in anger when we are reliably informed he is GIGGLING?


OK, 11 year old girl then.

Blogger Fenris Wulf January 19, 2017 2:12 PM  

Slightly OT: what's the deal with the commenter avatars on Wordpress that look like Atari 2600 sprites?

Anonymous Bukulu January 19, 2017 2:14 PM  

Paradigm @ 30,

Ironically (or maybe not) that picture is the most attractive and feminine of her that I've ever seen.

Blogger Fenris Wulf January 19, 2017 2:20 PM  

Answered my own question ... apparently those are called "identicons." Thought I'd stumbled into a nest of retro game enthusiasts, lol.

Blogger Franz Lyonheart January 19, 2017 2:20 PM  

And it really just makes me giggle.

Well then. He cannot complain. We're doing him a favour, he literally enjoys it.

So let's do more of it! Because we're so nice.

Blogger FitwithLizzie January 19, 2017 2:41 PM  

5 tweets affirming his love for his wife?

The lady doth protest too much.

Blogger Mastermind January 19, 2017 3:00 PM  

It's funny that Scalzi thinks his amazon queen wife is his EQUAL. No Johnny, nobody thinks that you're her equal when your teenage daughter deadlifts more than you do.

Blogger Fenris Wulf January 19, 2017 3:12 PM  

When I was in high school, there was a mountain-sized girl who could bench press more than any of the guys. Among other genetic freaks.

Blogger GracieLou January 19, 2017 3:14 PM  

Re: butching up girls.

Again, I plead with dads not to do it. I understand you want your daughter to be able "to handle herself" and you're frustrated with the feminization of everything, but encouraging girls to be boys is just wrong. And it makes everything worse.

Exhibit A: "Oh no, Amber's posting stuff from the gay bar again!" I show husband the post.

"Well at least she's got a boyfriend now."

"No baby, the boyfriend IS Amber." Amber, long encouraged in her tomboyhood is now a LITERAL diesel dike. Yes, she works on the big rigs and is engaged to a girl named Woody.

Exhibit B: I tried to warn everyone about the step-granddaughter situation. Single dad, ex-military is raising her, buys her a snake, buys her guns for Christmas. They spend all their free time hunting and fishing. Now she's that weird girl with snakes and guns trying desperately to win dad's approval. She has no clue, and a confused melange of butch/ho emerges (bleached hair, ripped jeans, snakes, guns).

Recently Husband says, "D--- dropped out of volleyball." Grimaces. "She's uh, playing football now."

"They have a powderpuff team?"

"Nope."

Uh huh. It's all fun and games until they're working on the big rigs, posing with a box of Munchkins with their tongue hanging out, posting from the gay bar.

Anonymous Kyle Heinz January 19, 2017 3:18 PM  

Chateau is a single childless man

Scalzi is a successful husband and father

That tells you something right there

Blogger SteelPalm January 19, 2017 3:27 PM  

I've always wondered whether Scalzi's oversimplification/mis-characterization of the criticism he receives is purely him being a liar, or whether there is a large dose of stupidity involved.

And also whether this carries over to his writing (which I haven't read)?

@66
Chateau is a single childless man

Scalzi is a successful husband and father

That tells you something right there


Yes, that Chateau has the freedom to change his situation at any time, and potentially choose a fine human wife.

Meanwhile, Scalzi is doomed to being violated with a strap-on (or Hugo) by his orc wife and raising their half-orc brood "Athena", already far more powerful than the male human captive her mother took, for the rest of his life.

Blogger VFM #7634 January 19, 2017 3:36 PM  

Chateau is a single childless man

Scalzi is a successful husband and father

That tells you something right there


@66 Kyle Heinz
Not sure "successful" is the word I'd use. Especially considering that there's a better than even chance he'll never be a grandfather.

And have you considered the possibility that CH keeps his private life secret?

Blogger Jose January 19, 2017 3:48 PM  

Jack Aubrey wrote:OK, 11 year old girl then.

Could we please stop insulting little girls by comparing them with Scalzi?

Blogger haus frau January 19, 2017 3:55 PM  

@66 seriously, giggles in little girls are cute and appropriate. Let's not creepify giggly little girls by comparing them with scalzi (end of concern troll).

Blogger Student in Blue January 19, 2017 4:55 PM  

@65. GracieLou
Again, I plead with dads not to do it. I understand you want your daughter to be able "to handle herself" and you're frustrated with the feminization of everything, but encouraging girls to be boys is just wrong. And it makes everything worse.

But that fictional character in Game of Thrones is totally that way and grew up just fine!

Ol' Rape Rape would never steer us wrong!

Blogger JRR January 19, 2017 5:22 PM  

Orcs get +1 strength, +1 con, and -2 charisma.

Blogger Franz Lyonheart January 19, 2017 5:34 PM  

Lots of comments at the Chateau from men showing the wedding picture Scalzi tweeted. I thought, well let's try the same in the Lyonheart household. Open image in new tab, wife, wdyt about this wedding pic, body language?

Visceral response from Mrs. L. (Split second after only glancing at the pic) : "Sie will ihn überhaupt nicht!" (In a shocked voice because, dafuq, it's a wedding picture.

Blogger Franz Lyonheart January 19, 2017 5:35 PM  

from men showing the wedding picture Scalzi tweeted to their wives and daughters . Lol, important omission, sorry dread Ilk brothers.

OpenID foreverwhat January 19, 2017 5:36 PM  

John Scalzi just has a micro-penis and is a angry little man

Blogger Happy LP9 January 19, 2017 6:25 PM  

The observations made were more regarding the socio-sexualstatus/hierarchy and Game Theory not really towards this wife and wife and mother...

He gammas out reliably but off key. Really I expected a reply after the Great Triggering or the Inauguration of POTUS Trump.

I mean raising your daughter to be a feminist is so, so awful, I'm speechless, why would parents do such a thing? What a disservice, a abuse, a set up for pain, heartache and failure to any daughter.

Anonymous FP January 19, 2017 6:27 PM  

Clearly McRapey gets paid by the word in twitter posts as well as his books. Five posts to say what could be said in one. Nah, no hurt fweelings there at all.

Blogger Happy LP9 January 19, 2017 6:27 PM  

It remain ok to feature spouses in pics online or from conferences, meetings or whatever online. But to feature minor children whom BELONG TO YOU online is very dangerous, that alone red flags a problem.

Blogger Harsh January 19, 2017 7:22 PM  

Kyle Heinz wrote:Chateau is a single childless man

Scalzi is a successful husband and father

That tells you something right there


It tells us that some men aren't desperate enough to marry orcs.

Anonymous jOHN MOSBY January 19, 2017 8:53 PM  

Scalzi looks like a short little dago. I bet he so's short when he farts he blows sand in his shoes.

Blogger mushroom January 19, 2017 10:00 PM  

Fenris Wulf wrote:When I was in high school, there was a mountain-sized girl who could bench press more than any of the guys. Among other genetic freaks.

I didn't know you went to school with my niece. We asked her one time if she was a lesbian. She said, "I like boys." We kind of thought she meant for breakfast. But she did finally get married in the last couple of years. I haven't seen the lucky guy. He is either 6'5" and 450, or a Scalzi, I'd guess.

Anonymous Clay January 20, 2017 1:07 AM  

Be nice, Mosby:)

Anonymous Full-Fledged Fiasco January 20, 2017 5:47 PM  

How long until Scalzi rage quits twitter?

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