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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

"Scalzi at his best!"

Well, that's certainly true. At long last, the much-anticipated Foundation rip-off The Collapsing Empire is out, and by all accounts, McRapey has surpassed himself. From one of the first reviews:
Scalzi laces his plot with plenty of humor, some of it gentle, some of it barbed, and some of it rather broad. I enjoyed little exchanges like this one between the emperox and her aide:

“[T]he executive committee…wants to marry me off.”
“They want to preserve an existing alliance.”
“An alliance with terrible people”
“Really nice people don’t usually accrue power.”
“You’re saying I’m kind of an outlier,” Cardenia said.
“I don’t recall saying you were nice.”

Scalzi’s characters come alive much better than is common in space opera. I enjoyed getting to know them and even to care about them, from spunky Cardenia, who had never expected or wanted to become experox, to Kiva, the potty-mouthed member of a powerful guild family. (SF readers who decry the relative deficit of strong female characters in the genre, take note. In retrospect I realize that most of the really memorable characters in the book are women.)
Brilliant stuff! Spunk and potty-mouthed wit! Keep in mind these excerpts are not clunkers I am cherry-picking as being particularly terrible, these are excerpts that fans and Tor employees have been selecting on the basis of a belief that they are the best the book has to offer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we are assured is "the heart of modern Sci-Fi" and "the best SF writer of his generation."

Which, if either statement were true, would be a damning indictment indeed.  Fortunately, it's only obese midwits less well-read than the average illiterate Venezuelan peasant, who think snarky space romance is the height of cleverness, that actually believe that.

Seeing the SF-SJWs unite in a desperate attempt to convince the reading world that Scalzi is actually a good science fiction writer very much reminds me of the Democrats trying to convince everyone that Hillary Clinton was a good presidential candidate. Not only are their efforts unconvincing, but their bizarre overselling reveals that even the people pushing the idea don't believe it.

But don't worry, you can totally trust the SF-SJW reviews. And the New York Times bestseller ranks achieved months in advance of publication too.
The Collapsing Empire (The Interdepency #1)
by John Scalzi (Goodreads Author)

Renay's review May 24, 2016
it was amazing
Can't say much about this yet BUT DON'T WORRY I WILL, I WILL HAVE SOME WORDS.
That's a pretty positive five-star review, particularly for a book that wasn't actually published for another 10 months.

UPDATE: My position on fake reviews is what it has always been: never write fake reviews, for good or for ill. If you have not read a book or played a game, then you should not even consider reviewing it. As a former nationally syndicated professional game reviewer, I do not approve of fake reviews no matter who the author or developer is. Unlike most published authors, I have always abided by Amazon guidelines and never review books or games on Amazon. The only place I write reviews are a) on this blog, and b) on Recommend.

UPDATE: Castalia author-to-be Brian Niemeier addresses the increasing desperation of Tor Books. He's got a good point. If Tor actually had any confidence in their author's ability to compete with our book, they wouldn't have freaked out and begged Amazon to take it down. When Alexandra Erin published a parody of SJWAL, did we do that?

No, we simply laughed at the fact that the book, along with the parody and the parody of the parody, ranked as the #1, #2, and #3 bestsellers in the Political Philosophy category.

Labels: ,

157 Comments:

Anonymous Eduardo March 21, 2017 11:06 AM  

Actually that way of dialoguing is like watching a cartoon for ADHD people. The broken down transition between lines and the lack of tact or manners to convey ideas between characters.

I mean it is fun if you are 10 years old, but looks weird now.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 11:08 AM  

#1 story about a girl who doesn't want to be "experox."

A galactic system that picks an untrained, unambitious woman to serve as figurehead? Sad!

Anonymous basementhomebrewer March 21, 2017 11:10 AM  

VFM #6306 wrote:#1 story about a girl who doesn't want to be "experox."

A galactic system that picks an untrained, unambitious woman to serve as figurehead? Sad!


Whose aid may or may not think she is nice, its hard to tell through the snark.

Blogger frigger611 March 21, 2017 11:15 AM  

Jeez, is "emperox" now a stupid new anti-cis word? Whatever happened to "emperess?"

Oh, never mind. We live in the age of Doritos and Mountain Dew for breakfast.

"Ox" is very likely the proper suffix.

Well done, Scalzinator.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 11:15 AM  

She describes Scalzi as a "word chef."

Boy-Ar-Dee?

Here's footage of the word chef in action, mentoring other seasoned professionals.

Anonymous Faceless March 21, 2017 11:15 AM  

What's the term for the willful suspension of mental function?

"who had never expected or wanted to become experox"

From one of the horrible excerpts of the shitty Scalzi book that I could not finish reading (because I did not care about the girl's affirmations while peeing), I gathered she was the daughter of the existing pan-galactic emperor, and that they have a mostly matrilineal hereditary monarchy.

I gathered that from a couple paragraphs before I gave up. These people claim to love the book.

Scalzi truly fails at making a character if he sets up a hereditary monarchy and then makes his character surprised to learn that, as the only heir to the current monarch, it becomes the new monarch.

Blogger S1AL March 21, 2017 11:16 AM  

Ah, a joke about people in power being mean. I can only assume he followed that up with a penis euphemism and other equally creative dialogue.

Blogger Silly But True March 21, 2017 11:17 AM  

"very much reminds me of the Democrats trying to convince everyone that Hillary Clinton was a good presidential candidate."

#sickscalzi
#scalzifiedmanboobs
#scalziwifepegsit

Anonymous Eduardo March 21, 2017 11:17 AM  

I thought Emperox was just the funny future name of the intergalactic emperor.

Orrrr... She would be sitting over a xerox machine as a throne.

Anonymous Dr. T March 21, 2017 11:21 AM  

A spunky princess who wants to do it her own way? Is this a Disney movie?

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 March 21, 2017 11:22 AM  

Isn't a bit sexist to say that an empire collapsed while being ruled by an "emperox"?

Anonymous jomba March 21, 2017 11:22 AM  

So what, you now want your people to downvote reviews like that one and to post negative reviews? Pathetic.

Anonymous VFM 4127 March 21, 2017 11:24 AM  

The dialogue itself is not that bad, but it is a dialogue between peers, not between emperor and assistant. The dynamic is all wrong.

Anonymous nope March 21, 2017 11:25 AM  

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71Dxn4-jdNL._SL1600_.jpg

Kill me.
Please.

Blogger Silly But True March 21, 2017 11:25 AM  

"Your people."

Where do you think people even got such an idea from? And if they thought about it, where and by whom has it been most commonly put in practice by?

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 11:26 AM  

Emperox Jomba! Greetings, Your Intelligentness!

Blogger Blue March 21, 2017 11:26 AM  

Watching Tor implode is like watching the statue of a clown crumble to the ground.

Anonymous Faceless March 21, 2017 11:27 AM  

@13

They are all the same character.

They are all tedious and neurotic with a juvenile fixation on their bathroom habits.

The only reason to read the book after the Tor free samples is a small hope that every character dies painfully, hopefully in mid-soliloquy about their own sense of irony and imposter syndrome.

Every single character is the love child of John Scalzi and Wil Wheaton, with all their neurotic compulsions, but without any drugs to calm them.

Blogger horsewithnonick March 21, 2017 11:27 AM  

He seems to have mastered word salad, at least.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 March 21, 2017 11:27 AM  

Geez, at least H.P. Lovecraft didn't do dialogue. Probably because he knew he was terrible at it and preferred to write a narrative instead.

Anonymous nihilsum March 21, 2017 11:29 AM  

C'mon now folks, it is not as if the reviews of Castalia titles aren't partisan and disingenuous at least part of the time. Not to mention that this is no different from their reaction to Castalia titles, only more petty.

Blogger Markku March 21, 2017 11:29 AM  

Wait, what's this? It's no longer a New York Times bestselling series, before selling a single copy?

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 11:30 AM  

"-ox" in space language means "doesn't want to be."

Emperox - Doesn't want to be Emperess.
Paradox - Doesn't want to be side-by-side
Authorox - Doesn't want to give back 3.4 Million dollars.

Anonymous Eduardo March 21, 2017 11:31 AM  

That needs some combing, I love cats.
What is that noise in center of the picture?
Oh look a kitty!

@VFM 4127

That is also part of the idea, they are supposed to look stupid, so they have outside their social roles. This no different than me trying to be nonsensical with social order.

Anonymous Takin' a Look March 21, 2017 11:31 AM  

JFC......Emperox?!?! Somebody take Scalzi behind a barn and put him out of his misery.

Anonymous nihilsum March 21, 2017 11:31 AM  

Markku wrote:It's no longer a New York Times bestselling series, before selling a single copy?
It is safe to assume that it will be a bestseller, given author's reputation and the amount of hype of caused within nerd culture.

Blogger Markku March 21, 2017 11:33 AM  

It is safe to assume that it will be a bestseller

Apparently not so safe, since they removed it from the cover.

Blogger John S March 21, 2017 11:33 AM  

Sounds more like the Prolapsing Empire...

Blogger VD March 21, 2017 11:33 AM  

So what, you now want your people to downvote reviews like that one and to post negative reviews? Pathetic.

You're projecting, my dear SJW. Third Law. To the contrary. I don't want to steer people away from McRapey's book. I want them to read it and experience for themselves the discovery of precisely how bad he is.

He used to be mediocre, but now he doesn't even rise to that level.

Anonymous Bz March 21, 2017 11:34 AM  

I am Cardenia, epoxy of experox.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 11:34 AM  

Markku, it is still a NY Times Bestselling series at Amazon UK.

Don't sell your Scalzi stox just yet.

Anonymous Faceless March 21, 2017 11:35 AM  

"He used to be mediocre, but now he doesn't even rise to that level."

That's what this experience has taught me about Wil Wheaton's buddy. It's like Tennessee Williams in the cocaine years - desperately trying to recapture whatever it was that worked the first time, and getting worse at it.

Perhaps it's because he has to spend so much mental energy on conformity to keep his audience?

Anonymous Bz March 21, 2017 11:35 AM  

Word chef ... yes, more precisely word salad chef.

Anonymous nihilsum March 21, 2017 11:37 AM  

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30078567-the-collapsing-empire?from_search=true

GR rating is pretty sweet, with lots of ratings and reviews so far. SO don't rush into hating on this just yet. Knee jerk reactions are the worst.

Anonymous Bz March 21, 2017 11:39 AM  

What are the odds that the totally awesome thing Scalzi was gloating about a couple of days ago is a product placement at Wil Wheaton's next Big Bang Theory appearance?

Blogger Ron March 21, 2017 11:41 AM  

I enjoyed little exchanges like this one between the emperox and her aide:

“[T]he executive committee…wants to marry me off.”


I have only one thing to this:

Shakespearian!

Anonymous jomba March 21, 2017 11:42 AM  

How do you explain downvotes on that review if that is not what you wanted when you linked it?

Blogger Ron March 21, 2017 11:42 AM  

@VFM #6306

"-ox" in space language means "doesn't want to be."

So deep.

Anonymous Bz March 21, 2017 11:42 AM  

The quoted reviewer is not a verified purchaser, but apparently received the book from ... some organization I've never heard of. At least it wasn't named Friends of PNH.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 11:45 AM  

Jombox Scalzox? Famous Authorox?

Anonymous jomba March 21, 2017 11:45 AM  

@39

You could've just googled it then and saw what it is all about, genius... Even noticed how early castalia reviews are never from verified purchasers btw??

Blogger Gaiseric March 21, 2017 11:46 AM  

Does Tor have the disposable cash to hire a few trolls of their own? Surely, Soros isn't in that business.

Maybe it's Mrs. Scalzi and Mrs. Scalzi Jr. taking one to try and salvage dad's dignity.

Anonymous Maverick March 21, 2017 11:46 AM  

After trying my hands at writing fiction for around five months now I am excited to learn that I am already on par with one of Tor's finest. I am so proud of myself lol.

Anonymous Eduardo March 21, 2017 11:46 AM  

Oh 6306, stop with this bollox!

Blogger GK Chesterton March 21, 2017 11:48 AM  

One would wonder why in a matrilineal line of empresses it would be a shock to have her married off. Where do the little ones come from? Are political marriages not normal?

Also can anyone find the Castalia's book? Can't search for it right now.

Anonymous nope March 21, 2017 11:48 AM  

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1647651396?book_show_action=true

Goodreads community, ladies and gents.


Kill me.
Now.

Blogger VD March 21, 2017 11:51 AM  

How do you explain downvotes on that review if that is not what you wanted when you linked it?

They have nothing to do with me or what I want. If I wanted downvotes, there would be at least 535 downvotes there within an hour. Since there are not, it should be clear that I have not issued any such order or expressed any such desire.

I would personally upvote that review. It's comical and the quote is hilarious.

Scalzi's books don't get very good reviews because his books aren't very good. There is no need whatsoever to interfere in the process or encourage people to write fake reviews. Furthermore, I never encourage fake reviews of any kind, good or bad, for anyone.

Don't assume everyone shares your lack of integrity. I am absolutely and utterly confident of Scalzi's ability to fail on his own, without any assistance from me.

Anonymous Bz March 21, 2017 11:52 AM  

Meh, it's some organization that can mysteriously send review copies before the book is released. What more do we really need to know, joomla?

Blogger Rabbi B March 21, 2017 11:52 AM  

In retrospect I realize that most of the really memorable characters in the book are women.

That's all you really need to know.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 11:53 AM  

A pox on all your Emperox in sox!
Scalzox owes Tox more mouthfuls of...suffox!

Anonymous amazing talking mute March 21, 2017 11:53 AM  

Ever passed your mind that book in question is, you know, actually good? Millions are reading Scalzi, there must be some reason for that.
But hey, carry on with envy.

Anonymous Eduardo March 21, 2017 11:53 AM  

Nope stop this killing wish. The answer to your request is:

NOPE.

Anonymous Bz March 21, 2017 11:55 AM  

As the saying goes, don't interfere when your opponent is making a fool of himself. The 1-stars will appear quite organically.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 March 21, 2017 11:55 AM  

amazing talking mute wrote:Ever passed your mind that book in question is, you know, actually good? Millions are reading Scalzi, there must be some reason for that.

But hey, carry on with envy.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Blogger Rabbi B March 21, 2017 11:55 AM  

"Millions are reading Scalzi, there must be some reason for that."

There is: MPAI.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 11:55 AM  

In retrospect I realize that most of the really memorable characters in the book are broken.

Anonymous jomba March 21, 2017 11:56 AM  

@48

Upvote it, then. And write in your article that you did so, and also write that you don't want your readers to downvote it either.

Anonymous Bz March 21, 2017 11:56 AM  

The universe may soon need
emperox detox

Blogger VD March 21, 2017 11:58 AM  

Ever passed your mind that book in question is, you know, actually good? Millions are reading Scalzi, there must be some reason for that.

Of course it isn't good. Didn't you read the excerpts? Tor would not have slashed the preorder price if it was any good. And "millions" are not reading Scalzi. He's never sold a million copies of any book, not even Old Man's War.

But hey, carry on with envy.

One of my games sold six million copies. My books, both fiction and non-fiction, are considered much better than his. What, exactly, do you think I envy? Do you think I have some sort of half-orc fetish or something?

Anonymous Looking Glass March 21, 2017 11:59 AM  

Was reading a Mass Effect:Andromeda review and this line popped up:

"In fairness, Andromeda did sometimes surprise me with poignant moments, like my crew comforting me in a dark hour and a conversation with my partner AI about the meaning of life. The game just buries these gems under hours of empty or even cringe-worthy interactions filled with heavy-handed themes, awkward lines of dialogue, and weird idiomatic phrases that felt out of place in a far flung galaxy. What person says "What's the word on the street?" without irony in 2017 let alone 600-plus years in the future?"

http://www.gamespot.com/reviews/mass-effect-andromeda-review/1900-6416638/

Can SJW convergence reach across works of fiction? They really are trying to become the Boring Borg.

Blogger Elocutioner March 21, 2017 12:00 PM  

"Millions are reading Scalzi"

I know, right? And I heard they all visit his website daily because he's the bestest sci fi writer doing space opera of his generation!

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 12:01 PM  

Jombox, even you did not upvote the review. It was 0 of 4 when you wrote this, you lazy whiner.

Blogger VD March 21, 2017 12:04 PM  

Upvote it, then. And write in your article that you did so, and also write that you don't want your readers to downvote it either.

No. As per Amazon's guidelines for writers, I don't upvote, downvote, or review any book that is considered competitive with any Castalia House book.

My readers are perfectly welcome to upvote or downvote any review they want. It's neither my problem nor my concern.

Anonymous fop March 21, 2017 12:05 PM  

Possibly the gayest Goodreads Author Bio ever. Chuck Tingle's bio is infinitely more masculine and interesting.

Blogger YIH March 21, 2017 12:06 PM  

Markku wrote:It is safe to assume that it will be a bestseller

Apparently not so safe, since they removed it from the cover.

Considering how the NYT's bestseller list is gamed, anything's possible. I like the ''Uncorrected advance'' sticker - it doesn't necessarily mean the final release will be any worse, err, better, but who knows?
Of being that it's #scalziwifepegsit I doubt an editor can polish the turd that much.

Blogger Student in Blue March 21, 2017 12:06 PM  

Even noticed how early castalia reviews are never from verified purchasers btw??

Ever heard of a thing called Castalia House? They sell ebooks directly too.

There's also a terrible, evil practice where early copies get sent out for review purposes. Only terrible evil people possibly do things like that, such as almost every book publisher.

How do you explain downvotes on that review if that is not what you wanted when you linked it?

There are downvotes because... people didn't like the review...? Is this seriously too hard for you to grasp? Or are you so stunted in your brainpower that anyone who doesn't share your exact same opinions are just malicious?

Blogger Mountain Man March 21, 2017 12:08 PM  

OT:
But it appears that the Fortune 500’s are pushing for a fully converged internet.
http://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/global-brands-shun-google-p9zlr7bq7

Hmmm....When the article mentions “rape apologists” - wonder who that could be?
They really are afraid of us - when a simple blogger like Roosh engenders this coordinated of a response.

Anonymous fop March 21, 2017 12:09 PM  

Tingle's Author Bio:

Dr. Chuck Tingle is an erotic author and Tae Kwon Do grandmaster (almost black belt) from Billings, Montana. After receiving his PhD at DeVry University in holistic massage, Chuck found himself fascinated by all things sensual, leading to his creation of the "tingler", a story so blissfully erotic that it cannot be experienced without eliciting a sharp tingle down the spine.

Chuck's hobbies include backpacking, checkers and sport.


And McRapey's Bio:

John Scalzi, having declared his absolute boredom with biographies, disappeared in a puff of glitter and lilac scent.

Blogger VD March 21, 2017 12:12 PM  

Go away, Jomba. You're banned and spammed for false accusations.

Blogger VD March 21, 2017 12:17 PM  

I'm not hiding anything, Jomba. You're annoying, boring, dishonest, and you're not permitted to comment here anymore. All of your subsequent comments will go to spam.

Anonymous Eduardo March 21, 2017 12:18 PM  

But Vox! Hey you have -ox as a suffix too! He was the funny silly anklebitter type! I wanted to see him try and fail .

Blogger YIH March 21, 2017 12:18 PM  

nihilsum wrote:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30078567-the-collapsing-empire?from_search=true

GR rating is pretty sweet, with lots of ratings and reviews so far. SO don't rush into hating on this just yet. Knee jerk reactions are the worst.

First review, really:
Wil Wheaton
Mar 16, 2017 Wil Wheaton rated it [5 stars] it was amazing
Shelves: sci-fi
As delightful and easy to read as Scalzi at his best (Redshirts, Old Man's War), with characters who are going to stay with you whenever you have to put the book down ... which you aren't going to want to do.

I won't discuss plot, at all, but I will say this much: like all great SF, and like the SF that has become accepted as classic, The Collapsing Empire works as a wonderful SF tale ... but it also has important allegory, metaphor, and commentary on some things that are going on right now, for ...more
All together now!

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 12:19 PM  

"The Interdepency #1?"

And it doesn't even have a lady astronaut driving 24 hours across 4 states to kill her rival while wearing diapers.

Do you know her name? Incontinoxia Buttox!!

Anonymous Raptor disrespect from behind March 21, 2017 12:22 PM  

It seems that some people don't quite get that the review is not full of praise.

Blogger bw March 21, 2017 12:22 PM  

the average illiterate Venezuelan peasant
so racissss

BUT DON'T WORRY I WILL, I WILL HAVE SOME WORDS
I bet, Renay. The world holds its breath in anticipation of your emotive orgasm over what to think and why



Anonymous Crew March 21, 2017 12:23 PM  

It's amusing that Jumbox has to come over here and defend this book that is being read by millions and millions of Scalzox's fans.

I think they are really, really worried.

Anonymous amazing talking mute March 21, 2017 12:24 PM  

I shall tell this much: you shouldn't test Amazon's patience.
You already gamed their user review system, most obvious example being your posting of negative reviews of Castalia book so that they may be burred in negative ratings, and right now this blog post, even if that was not your intention, is resulting in positive reviews being buried and in obviously partisan negative reviews popping out.

You don't want your releases to be banned by Amazon, and that is what might happen if you go on with this. Entire Johan Kalsi debacle was just the most egregious example, and it probably placed your company high on their kindle watch list. Tread lightly.

Blogger Matthew March 21, 2017 12:27 PM  

Little bit of pee trickling down your leg now, eh?

Anonymous FP March 21, 2017 12:28 PM  

Bz wrote:I am Cardenia, epoxy of experox.

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you, your Imperial Epoxyoxness!

(Hmm, with cool witty repartee like this I could be a SF writer!)

Blogger AgentBJ March 21, 2017 12:29 PM  

I haven't started reading Foundation yet, since I'm starting with Prelude to Foundation, but the Amazon sample of Scalzi's book that I have looked at...

I don't know who he thinks he's fooling, but he's in no way as good as Asimov. I also see a lot of ARC reviews from NetGalley readers on Goodreads, and a lot of people tagging the story with 'diversity' tags. A loaded, pointless tag if ever there was one.

I see Wil Wheaton's also jumped in to review the story, no surprise. No comments either so far...

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 12:31 PM  

Wil Wheaton is voicing the audiobook?

When the only characters are women?

This book has a scene where a woman rapes Wesley Crusher.

Wesley Crusher is going to read that. Aloud. In public. Because Scalzi wants him too.

It's all coming together.

Blogger Student in Blue March 21, 2017 12:33 PM  

It's always fascinating how these people liberally rewrite history. Vox going after fake reviews (a.k.a. people who are literally manipulating the review system) becomes 'Vox is trying to manipulate Amazon by burying negative reviews!'

And only some parody titles are okay, like all the ones that came out during SJWAL's launch. But that Johan Kalsi is beyond the pale!

Blogger VD March 21, 2017 12:35 PM  

I shall tell this much: you shouldn't test Amazon's patience.

I'm not doing anything at all. And if Amazon doesn't permit parodies with similar covers to be published, why did they permit the publication of a parody of my book with a similar cover?

You don't want your releases to be banned by Amazon, and that is what might happen if you go on with this.

If they ban us, then we will sue them, we will file an antitrust complaint against them, and we will win an awful lot of money. Do you seriously think they can legally discriminate against a publisher with no repercussions, particularly when that publisher has done absolutely nothing wrong? And do you really think the Trump Administration wouldn't welcome an excuse to launch an antitrust suit against the owner of the Washington Post?

Furthermore, this is my personal blog. I have multiple links to Amazon every single day.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 12:35 PM  

AgentBJ, don't start with Prelude. Go to Foundation first. Asimov lost a ton of sizzle (and he was never big on sizzle to begin with) by Prelude, and it is a somewhat more enjoyable book AFTER reading Foundation.

Blogger Cail Corishev March 21, 2017 12:41 PM  

I haven't started reading Foundation yet, since I'm starting with Prelude to Foundation,

That's probably a bad idea. Read them in publication order, or Prelude will spoil some of Foundation. It might have even retconned some things that contradict Foundation; it's been a while so I'm not sure about that.

Also, Prelude isn't very good. Seldon is better as a sort of mythical background character than a protagonist.

Blogger Matthew March 21, 2017 12:46 PM  

Honestly, just don't read Asimov. There are far better dead SF authors.

Anonymous fop March 21, 2017 12:47 PM  

Wil Wheaton is voicing the audiobook?

Privileged white male millionaire hires privileged white male gazillionaire... to portray women?

Keep purchasing his products, SJW snowflakes. Rich, privileged, white males need MOAR PRIVILEGE!

Blogger Matthew March 21, 2017 12:48 PM  

There are even far better dead Jewish asshole SF authors, like Bester. I dislike most of his writing, but it wasn't a waste of my time reading it.

Blogger Chiva March 21, 2017 12:48 PM  

"This book has a scene where a woman rapes Wesley Crusher."

Unbelievable chapters really do detract from a book.

Anonymous Totally unbiased fanboi March 21, 2017 12:49 PM  

Hey, guys, did you hear about John's totally new novella, The Roads Must Flow? It's so great! It's like squeeeee! and he hasn't even written it yet!

Anonymous A Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents March 21, 2017 12:50 PM  

Seldon is better as a sort of mythical background character than a protagonist.

Even better as an author.

Anonymous deplorable six pan March 21, 2017 12:53 PM  

In most restaurant operations the pantry bitch handles salads. Chef has big picture things to handle.

Blogger SouthRon March 21, 2017 12:55 PM  

@nope His book still gets more pussy than Dear John.

Anonymous Credo in Unum Deum March 21, 2017 1:02 PM  

I could never get into science fiction that most people like. I prefer "hard science fiction" myself. No FTL travel, no wormholes, no technology that we can't build today with known physics.

Our own solar system is Big.

Like... HOLY-****ING-HELL-HUGELY-BIG!!!.

Why would anyone tell a story in a world that spans star systems, when our own solar system provides more than enough "stuff" to write about? A good story could be told that takes place on space habitats throughout our solar system. One could have a story set inside a large space habitat that uses a large mirror to collect sunlight. The main character(s) could be getting a tan on a beach with the planet Neptune hanging in the sky.

Blogger AgentBJ March 21, 2017 1:02 PM  

@VFM #6306 - I'm already seeing that with how the story, and the idea of psychohistory, had been presented so far. Asimov can carry an action/tense scene though, no question, and the early chapters weren't bad.

@Cail Corishev - I figured it would, being what it is, and I have to agree. Seldon's a bit dull, but likable nonetheless.

Since I already own Foundation as well, I'll dig into a few chapters to compare the two.

Blogger praetorian March 21, 2017 1:03 PM  

“Really nice people don’t usually accrue power.”
“You’re saying I’m kind of an outlier,” Cardenia said.
“I don’t recall saying you were nice.”


Wodehouseian.

Blogger YIH March 21, 2017 1:11 PM  

Chiva wrote:"This book has a scene where a woman rapes Wesley Crusher."
If with a strapon, yes, it's believable
Unbelievable chapters really do detract from a book.

After seeing that GR review, only Wheaton could be the audiobook voice

Blogger Jack Aubrey March 21, 2017 1:16 PM  

Interesting pricing. $12.99 for Kindle, $7.10 for paperback. Looks like they overprinted.

Anonymous John Scalzi Unfinished Asimov Project March 21, 2017 1:23 PM  

Trantor. Shit.

I’m still only on Trantor. Every day I sit at this desk looking over my lawn I get weaker. Every minute Vox Day hides out in Italy spewing his fact-free, hate-filled blog, he gets stronger.

I wanted an advance. And for my good, brilliant, dazzlingly original and very bestselling works they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. It was a swell advance, and when it was spent, I’d desperately need another.

Whomever, Just. John Scalzi Unfinished Asimov Project: Doom. Antonio Gramsci Charities, Ltd.. Kindle Edition.

Anonymous Crew March 21, 2017 1:26 PM  

There are some reviews there that need upvoting ...

Anonymous Man of the Atom March 21, 2017 1:28 PM  

Scalzi's next project after 'Empire?

This, perhaps?

Anonymous John Scalzi Unfinished Asimov Project March 21, 2017 1:28 PM  

Hey y'all. Soz y'all noe, for my next John and Johan Scarzi impersonation, I is currently deciferating between "John Scalzi Unfinished Stephen King Project: Springheel Flack" about a male co-ed on the loose with a campus on a serial killer spree, or "Pebble in the Pink", a pink-scifi update on dah Assinov Guhlactic Emprox series, now wiff phat gurls in latex pantysuits.

So yall literatrox go voteload mah bookey-book n be sure to keep kissin' da skyzi luv cause we won a bee continuing all the best Scarzitude for a long time, 'y ear?!

Blogger Mr.MantraMan March 21, 2017 1:29 PM  

Just a big huge heap of fail. When is JS divorce, you know it's coming.

Blogger The Other Robot March 21, 2017 1:30 PM  

I suspect that Scalzi's daughter wrote the bulk of his new novel!

As he implies, she's a better man than he is.

Anonymous Ironsides March 21, 2017 1:50 PM  

"Emperox."

The smug fatheadedness contained in that one word says everything that needs to be said about Scalzi.

Sure, it can be fun to make up weird titles. But we already have a female form of the word "emperor" -- "empress." What's next, a female form of "King" rendered as "Kinga" instead of "Queen?"

Blogger lowercaseb March 21, 2017 1:52 PM  

Mr.MantraMan wrote:When is JS divorce, you know it's coming.

Scalzi will never divorce. He will disappear from the public view and his wife and child will seem a little fatter in public for a while. Luckily his daughter retains her mother's racial resistance to obesity as well as her +2 to strength.

Anonymous Longtime Lurker March 21, 2017 1:53 PM  

Through Emporox Cardenia, Scalzi's inner Valley Girl finally gets the voice she's always wanted.

Anonymous Longtime Lurker March 21, 2017 2:04 PM  

Ed Driscoll at Instapundit just linked to this: http://neveryetmelted.com/2017/03/21/amazon-bans-scalzi-parody/

Stuff like this is the reason why someone put Tor in the word Torment.

Blogger tublecane March 21, 2017 2:04 PM  

@94-Why would anyone tell a story in a world that spans star systems, when our[/my] own [planet, continent, country, city, house, cranium] provides more than enough "stuff" to write about?

Anonymous Holmwood March 21, 2017 2:08 PM  

AgentBJ wrote:and a lot of people tagging the story with 'diversity' tags. A loaded, pointless tag if ever there was one.
It's a great and highly useful tag. It tells me I am very unlikely to want to read it.

Blogger Elocutioner March 21, 2017 2:10 PM  

And to further the sabotage, Corroding Empire now redirects to guess where and I still cannot buy either Corroding Empire or Corrosion. Tor delenda est.

Blogger tublecane March 21, 2017 2:11 PM  

"I don't recall saying you were nice."

Oh, snap! You mean, all along, the aid disbelieved in her (his?) majestox's niceness, and the manner in which her power was accrued? How subversive.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash March 21, 2017 2:13 PM  

Credo in Unum Deum wrote:I could never get into science fiction that most people like. I prefer "hard science fiction" myself. No FTL travel, no wormholes, no technology that we can't build today with known physics.

Our own solar system is Big.

Like... HOLY-****ING-HELL-HUGELY-BIG!!!.

Why would anyone tell a story in a world that spans star systems, when our own solar system provides more than enough "stuff" to write about?

Any man that can't appreciate "Skylark of Space" or the Lensman stories simply can't claim to be a science fiction fan.
Sorry, no. You lack imagination and need to keep your lackwit opinions to yourself.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash March 21, 2017 2:14 PM  

"Beams? You want ray guns? How about killing the bad guy by slamming another planet into the one he's on?"

Anonymous Bowman March 21, 2017 2:48 PM  

This review is pure gold.

"Yes, the title is emperox, not emperor. I have no idea why."
I do, Scalzi wanted to make a new word for emperor to pretend he is building his own unique universe, he thought about supremacy, and unconsciously he made it sound like Vox.

"the Flow may be breaking up. This would threaten the future of humanity, whose worlds are truly “interdependent”."
The Flow, aka the Leftist agenda.
Aka global worming. Aka climate change. etc.

"to protect her family’s business interest, and, oh, yes, keep up her active sex life."
Oh oh oh and that's what you really want out of SF, don't you ?

"In retrospect I realize that most of the really memorable characters in the book are women."
What a surprise.

Blogger Jack Aubrey March 21, 2017 2:52 PM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:"Beams? You want ray guns? How about killing the bad guy by slamming another planet into the one he's on?"

From another dimension, at multiple times the speed of light no less. QX?

Blogger Snidely Whiplash March 21, 2017 2:57 PM  

Lensmen are so cool.

Blogger Eric Mueller March 21, 2017 2:59 PM  

Get to know his character(s)? If this book is anything like Redshirts (the only Scalzi book I've read), its the same character, repeated 6 times, with different names and sexual orientations. It's more like one person with split, bland, personalities.

Blogger Markku March 21, 2017 3:09 PM  

Tread lightly.

I have a better idea. We'll continue being awesome.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 3:13 PM  

If you want to know the future of Pink SF, imagine John Scalzi, raping Wil Wheaton, while PNH keeps non-existent women from sleeping with gay minorities, forever.

My love.

Anonymous Bowman March 21, 2017 3:13 PM  

Also that one : "I never felt I had wandered into a science text or engineering manual"
As if SF had ever been an "engineering manual".

Blogger DeploraBard March 21, 2017 3:38 PM  

Plenty of spunk. Awesome. Just what every sci-fi fan craves. But does it also have grit? Gotta have grit if you have spunk.

Blogger Gaiseric March 21, 2017 4:00 PM  

Credo in Unum Deum wrote:I could never get into science fiction that most people like. I prefer "hard science fiction" myself. No FTL travel, no wormholes, no technology that we can't build today with known physics.

Our own solar system is Big.

Like... HOLY-****ING-HELL-HUGELY-BIG!!!.

Why would anyone tell a story in a world that spans star systems, when our own solar system provides more than enough "stuff" to write about? A good story could be told that takes place on space habitats throughout our solar system. One could have a story set inside a large space habitat that uses a large mirror to collect sunlight. The main character(s) could be getting a tan on a beach with the planet Neptune hanging in the sky.

Well, that's nice. Tell me again how your personal tastes and self-righteous attempted intelligence signaling are on topic here again?

Blogger Cataline Sergius March 21, 2017 4:07 PM  

Tread lightly.

Eh, it's better than the Scalziettes usually do when they show up here.

Generally we get treated to the brilliant reposte of, "LOL". And that old chestnut, "I can't even!"

Invariably followed by, "Vox, just admit you're jealous of John Scalzi's success! We all know that's the truth because that's what he tells everybody!"

At least having a a major company violating the Sherman Act on Scalzi's say so is something new.

Anonymous Ezekiel Cassandros March 21, 2017 4:11 PM  

"The Collapsing Empire" has been in the sponsored ads on Facebook all day.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash March 21, 2017 4:26 PM  

Bowman wrote:Also that one : "I never felt I had wandered into a science text or engineering manual"

As if SF had ever been an "engineering manual".

Shen I read books from Castalia House, I never feel as if I've been suckered into buying a *Studies lecture or diversity propaganda.
Whatever floats your boat.

Blogger Trid March 21, 2017 4:37 PM  

The more I come into contact with scalzis writing the more I am encouraged to submit some of my own writing to Tor

Anonymous Bowman March 21, 2017 4:49 PM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:Bowman wrote:Also that one : "I never felt I had wandered into a science text or engineering manual"

As if SF had ever been an "engineering manual".


Shen I read books from Castalia House, I never feel as if I've been suckered into buying a *Studies lecture or diversity propaganda.

Whatever floats your boat.


Of course not, but you don't feel like you are reading a video tape recorder technical specification either.

Only SF allergic feminists think SF is haunted by an impenetrable science syndrome. SF is actually haunted by lazy science / story, which ironically is precisely what she doesn't care about.

Blogger seeingsights March 21, 2017 4:55 PM  

Concerning the older review of Scalzi's latest book: some people through Goodreads got Advanced Reader copies.

Blogger lowercaseb March 21, 2017 4:55 PM  

DeploraBard wrote:Plenty of spunk. Awesome. Just what every sci-fi fan craves.

If I wanted plenty of Spunk, I'd re-read Dr. Chuck Tingle.

Blogger Markku March 21, 2017 5:06 PM  

SJWs are amusing in their clumsy attempts at demoralizing us, that wouldn't work on a five year old. This is exactly what the Soviets did in our wars. They broadcasted with megaphones with their broken Finnish from their foxholes this hilarious, inept propaganda that became running jokes among our soldiers. It had the exact opposite effect than was intended.

Blogger Bogey March 21, 2017 5:12 PM  

This pretty much sums it up.

@jhparkerb
"My @scalzi -signed copy of _BISEXUALS IN SPAAACE_"

@scalzi
"Not actually an incorrect alternate title."

Blogger Silly But True March 21, 2017 5:33 PM  

I'm just going to wait for the movie adaptation starring Tom Hanks as Kiva and Wil Wheaton as Emperox Cardenia

Blogger lowercaseb March 21, 2017 5:34 PM  

@131: Exactly! Johan will never be broken...even if he had to anglicize his name. He will leave Scalzi's book frozen in the snow as a warning to others.

Blogger Cataline Sergius March 21, 2017 5:42 PM  

I am now reading Corroding Empire via the Kindle app on the Computer I use to stream media to my television.

That's right, I use my TV to read books.

Anonymous VFM #6306 March 21, 2017 5:55 PM  

Concerning the older review of Scalzi's latest book: some people through Goodreads got Advanced Reader copies.

Not in May 2016. Scalzi finished the book in October 2016. Maybe he has a time machine.

He should have written about that.

Emperox StopClox

Blogger tublecane March 21, 2017 6:09 PM  

@132-"Not actually an incorrect alternate title"

Ugh. I've said this before, but if Scalzi didn't exist Vox would've had to invent him. He is the quintessence of the SJW/gamme male. Just look at that sentence. We have:

1). the knee-jerk (unfunny) self-deprecation,
2). the passive, "not-un" (or, in this case, "not-in") formulation
3). the unnecessary "actually," which either a tic or comes from lying and/or living in a world of appearances all the time.

Blogger Brian Niemeier March 21, 2017 6:09 PM  

Thanks for the nod, Vox.

Fun fact: my blog traffic for the "Tor Gets Desperate" post was already 5x normal, even before you linked to it. Scalzi's latest blunder may have started a preference cascade in Castalia Houe's favor.

Blogger Last Redoubt March 21, 2017 6:17 PM  

@131. Markku

SJWs are amusing in their clumsy attempts at demoralizing us, that wouldn't work on a five year old. This is exactly what the Soviets did in our wars. They broadcasted with megaphones with their broken Finnish from their foxholes this hilarious, inept propaganda that became running jokes among our soldiers. It had the exact opposite effect than was intended.

Battlefield propaganda may have been literally laughable, but they figured out to invade the universities and the media.

Time to take those back.

Blogger Last Redoubt March 21, 2017 6:19 PM  

@137. tublecane


Ugh. I've said this before, but if Scalzi didn't exist Vox would've had to invent him. He is the quintessence of the SJW/gamme male. Just look at that sentence. We have:

1). the knee-jerk (unfunny) self-deprecation,
2). the passive, "not-un" (or, in this case, "not-in") formulation
3). the unnecessary "actually," which either a tic or comes from lying and/or living in a world of appearances all the time.


A world of pettiness revealed in one short - yet longer than it has to be - sentence.

Blogger Azimus March 21, 2017 6:32 PM  

I tell you one thing about this whole affair, I'm finally going to buy and read a couple of the Foundation novels...

#AsimovEstateThanksScalzi

Blogger Markku March 21, 2017 7:00 PM  

Battlefield propaganda may have been literally laughable, but they figured out to invade the universities and the media.

The elite knew what they were doing. The ranks just needed to put up an appearance of doing their job, because otherwise THEY'D be in front of the firing squad. Same thing with paid Soros trolls. Their efforts look completely uninspired, because they are.

Blogger Azimus March 21, 2017 7:04 PM  

29. VD March 21, 2017 11:33 AM
I want them to read it and experience for themselves the discovery of precisely how bad he is.


Speaking broadly, the Great Masters of (pick any form of art) have a common gene that drives them to excellence. I don't know what it's called, but it can be summed up with the phrase "I can make it better." This drives them to new creative heights, and finer and finer strokes, notes, prose, in a relentless, vain, but beautiful pursuit of perfection. This causes them to be embarrassed by their early works, scorn praise, and through frustration and agony and the fire of merciless self-criticism, create some of the most beautiful works of human endeavor. For them it is the product, not the reputation. They say "Is IT the best?" not "Am I the best?" Who knows how many such men were lost to history because they loved their forms of expression more than they loved themselves?

Then there are the other guys, who pump their modest talent like a capering pitch man, whose primary energy is generating praise, living for it, feeding on it, indeed profiting from it. Since their consumption is self promotion rather than refining their expression, their talent for promotion improves while their art skills decay. In the end, they start to believe their own hype. They profit greatly from it.

Scalzi is a millionaire. He proudly declares it. I'm not the first here to describe him as an able self-promoter. I wonder if his net worth surpasses Tolstoy? Beethoven? Azimov himself? Truly I have no idea, and have never heard. But I know Scalzi is rich and successful.

Hmmm.

Blogger frigger611 March 21, 2017 7:18 PM  

@119 Markku

Hah, quite possibly my favorite rejoinder ever on this blog!

Anonymous Eric the Red March 21, 2017 7:51 PM  

Pseudo-intellectual snark from a pompous, emasculated dweeb: be sure to buy your copy today.

Blogger Bogey March 21, 2017 8:43 PM  

Has his writing reached the level of The Room or Samurai Cop funny yet? The Blowjob conversation in Red Shirts came close.

Anonymous basementhomebrewer March 21, 2017 9:05 PM  

The defensiveness and projection are telling. The fact that we even have trolls showing up here to defend Scalzi at all is amusing. If our host was so inconsequential as they pretend then it wouldn't be worth their time.

The funny part is the joke is on them because it isn't worth their time. Not because Vox is inconsequential, but because his readership is very adept at spotting trolls due to the large amounts of practice we get on a daily basis.

As for Scalzi, I am sure he and his wife can console themselves with a nice pizza.

Blogger Dave March 21, 2017 9:16 PM  

I wanted to see for myself how the release of a long-awaited new book by the preeminent author at Tor Books would be supported and promoted.

>Tor/Forge Blog: one book out of many scrolling across the top of the page; click to jump to a guest post by Scalzi from March 6. Then scroll down on the blog to the second post called New Releases 3/21/17; Scalzi's book is one of 1/2 dozen or so listed.

>Tor dot com: Scroll past about 13 posts to find a mention that Scalzi will appear at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books in April; no mention of the new book. Scroll down another five posts and see a guide to Scalzi's work for beginner, intermediate, and expert readers. Not listed in the Books>New Releases page.

>Panmacmillan dot com: not shown on front page or listed under Featured Books>Sci-Fi scroll. Under Books>Science Fiction scroll one of 67 books.

>us dot macmillan dot com: search for Scalzi shows new release listed below seven of his other books.

>Facebook: Happy #NewBookTuesday post today with link to tor/forge blog post mentioned above. Post yesterday linking to Amazon Editor's Spring Fiction Picks. Another post from yesterday linked to Entertainment Weekly's Facebook page (supposed book review somewhere). Someone upthread mentioned Facebook ads.

>Twitter: identical posts as Facebook account


Overall I'm completely underwhelmed. No big splash coordinated across the blogs and social media. No buildup to the release day. Ho-hum, just another new book by an author you may or may not have heard of.

Blogger Dave March 21, 2017 9:37 PM  

John Scalzi‏Verified account @scalzi 3h
QUIET TWITTER were about to start the reading in Lexington! pic.twitter.com/KOERKtetQU


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7ejAj1XUAAWBiI.jpg:large

Blogger lowercaseb March 21, 2017 9:59 PM  

Dave wrote:John Scalzi‏Verified account @scalzi 3h

QUIET TWITTER were about to start the reading in Lexington! pic.twitter.com/KOERKtetQU


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7ejAj1XUAAWBiI.jpg:large


Is it a legal requirement to have at least one literal blue hair at the gathering? I need to go in for TRT after viewing that photo.

Anonymous Ask Mr. Lizard March 21, 2017 10:56 PM  

Ezekiel Cassandros wrote:"The Collapsing Empire" has been in the sponsored ads on Facebook all day.

On the upside, Facebook will let you mark the ad as fake news.

Anonymous Jeff Albertson March 21, 2017 11:10 PM  

@137
Am I the only one who heard Hank Azaria voice that line as the comic book guy from the Simpsons? "NOT ACtually..."

Blogger The Other Robot March 21, 2017 11:24 PM  

McRapey doesn't like reviews that say he is an author that is trying to improve.

There was a review earlier today that said something like "A great novel from an author who is trying to improve"

It is gone now.

Blogger Happy LP9 March 21, 2017 11:57 PM  

I will never forget how Tor's leadership mistreated and was unkind towards the Day's, McRapey's unkindness and vitriol towards us here and the fact he is training his daughter to be a feminist.

Castalia House House, Gab, Info G will and IS overtaking the publishing, social media world via alt tech.

I will continue to link to, support and buy whatever I can to communicate my disinterest and adverse rejection to Scalzi, Tor and the other gatekeeper publishers to absurdists social media outlets banning Cerno, Milo, etc.

The Tor helm are suckers whom suck energy from the truly talented while paying a few pennies out.

Those professionals staffed at Castalia House are not remotely fazed, I adore Wright, Larry and Crevalds work (and others, they are work horses of awesome content!), its amazing.

We learn to not hate the hurter but to use the truth, (upon sjw) stats and facts upon him while (scalzi,alt left violent pple, anti trumpers) and not ever lose our control or go nuts and post fake reviews. Be still and know God is with us and we can speak the quiet truth via the written word, the cowards are seeking responses thinking we are angry, I am not angry but simply stating Scalzi is el-wrongo 110% and his entire tenure at Tor is just a farce of bad writing.

Tor hates the good in good writers and Tor like others are fakes and its unreadable writing, what Vox documented here is like emo porno in these reviews with more potty mouth language - its not true sci fi or sci fi fantasy in that Vox Day and others supersede Johnny and Tor every. single.time.

Intuition states Tor is on the wrong side of history.

OT: unrelated but today 3/21/2017 Glenn Beck was mocking and insulting POTUS TRUMP again and its JUST NOT boding well.

Anonymous A Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents March 22, 2017 1:03 AM  

@143
Scalzi is a millionaire. He proudly declares it. I'm not the first here to describe him as an able self-promoter. I wonder if his net worth surpasses Tolstoy? Beethoven? Azimov himself? Truly I have no idea, and have never heard. But I know Scalzi is rich and successful.

Well, just how big was Asimov's lawn? Huh? How big?

Blogger sapopular March 22, 2017 10:52 AM  

"Let that sink in: they got a new cover done in less than a day. The updated book should be back in the Kindle store tonight.

This is why the small, fast mammals are taking down the dinosaurs."

Great!

Blogger Feather Blade March 26, 2017 6:10 PM  

Ironsides wrote:Sure, it can be fun to make up weird titles. But we already have a female form of the word "emperor" -- "empress."

I prefer "Imperatrix", personally; traditional forms just have a certain ... dignity to them.

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