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Saturday, August 26, 2017

Overheard

At the post-dinner table:

Vox: The expression on the face of someone coming out of a Japanese toilet is 40 percent "I think I've just been raped", 40 percent "I've never felt this clean in my life", and 20 percent "I'm not sure if I liked that or not."

Lucy: That sounds like my average Saturday night.

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64 Comments:

Anonymous The Dude August 26, 2017 5:28 PM  

Good grief

Blogger Matamoros August 26, 2017 5:32 PM  

Funny. What is it, high pressure?

Anonymous Brick Hardslab August 26, 2017 5:35 PM  

That sounds vile. I've never been less curious about something in my life. I've always wanted to go to Japan. At least I can console myself with the knowledge I've never experienced toilet rape.

Blogger Miss Carnivorous August 26, 2017 5:43 PM  

Co-worker who went on a vacation to Japan, toilet rating, fabulous! Neighbor who has a Japanese toilet, also, fabulous! If I ever get enough filthy lucre together, Japanese toilet, here I come!!

Blogger Nick S August 26, 2017 5:43 PM  

Luuuucy, you got some splainin' to do.

Blogger Sun Xhu August 26, 2017 5:49 PM  

So... 40% of the time, on Sat nights, Lucy thinks she's been raped?

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( You are Welcome ... to go back to the hell hole you came from ) August 26, 2017 5:49 PM  

4. Miss Carnivorous August 26, 2017 5:43 PM
Co-worker who went on a vacation to Japan, toilet rating, fabulous! Neighbor who has a Japanese toilet, also, fabulous! If I ever get enough filthy lucre together, Japanese toilet, here I come!!



given how many women have a germaphobe fetish, it seems rather strange that so many of them are fascinated with having their bottoms sprayed with toilet water.

Blogger ghostfromplanetspook August 26, 2017 5:51 PM  

Surprise cleaning is best cleaning

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( You are Welcome ... to go back to the hell hole you came from ) August 26, 2017 5:51 PM  

6. Sun Xhu August 26, 2017 5:49 PM
So... 40% of the time, on Sat nights, Lucy thinks she's been raped?



given their dating behaviors, it's hard for even the woman herself to konw the difference.

Anonymous Jack August 26, 2017 6:14 PM  

On the other hand, the average filthy public squat toilet in China makes one sympathize with Marcel Duchamp's remark that America's greatest works of art are its indoor plumbing.

Blogger Ezekiel August 26, 2017 6:30 PM  

Sun Xhu wrote:So... 40% of the time, on Sat nights, Lucy thinks she's been raped?
That, or...

...Lucy?

Anonymous Tanjil Bren August 26, 2017 6:38 PM  

"Funny. What is it, high pressure?"

It's actually quite hard to say.

The Japanese have both Western toilets, with a control panel to rival a Dream Liner's and a veritable squadron (I don't can't think of a more appropriate collective noun for what emerges to assail you when you press the lemme-have-it button) of cleansing 'nozzles' and their traditional squat numbers that look a lot like a urinal, only fixed on the floor on its back, has absolutely nothing to hold onto, except the cistern's pipe, and manages to exhibit some of the most impressive water pressure I have ever witnessed in an indoor plumbing appliance when ridding the world of the product of your daily toil.

Anonymous AZFloyd August 26, 2017 6:43 PM  

Sounds like a better experience than a German toilet. Imagine taking a dump only to have it stare back at you.

Anonymous Mr. Pinkerton-Tinfurter August 26, 2017 6:53 PM  

OT: The YouTube crackdown mentioned a couple of days ago has started, here's an example of what it looks like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SJNVb0GnPI

Blogger Michael Maier August 26, 2017 6:54 PM  

40 percent "I think I've just been raped"

Isn't 40% the same as the rate of Fake Rape charges according to the FBI?

Blogger Michael Maier August 26, 2017 6:55 PM  

Which reminds me of some libtard that objected to my statement of 40% fake rape claims.

He seemed to be fine with it being half of that, though.

WTF???

You think 1/5 utter fabricating rape charges is ACCEPTABLE?

Blogger Nick S August 26, 2017 7:13 PM  

OT, but I can't help pointing out that Conor McGregor must be a white supremacist and his fans are probably Nazis. I expect Black Fighters Matter to riot in the streets if Conor wins.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 26, 2017 7:46 PM  


@17 Who the F*** is Conor McGregor?

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( You are Welcome ... to go back to the hell hole you came from ) August 26, 2017 8:04 PM  

16. Michael Maier August 26, 2017 6:55 PM
Which reminds me of some libtard that objected to my statement of 40% fake rape claims.
...
You think 1/5 utter fabricating rape charges is ACCEPTABLE?



i find White boys who can't do math unacceptable.

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother August 26, 2017 8:05 PM  

Lucie makes a terrible rape victim.

Blogger Mr. B.A.D. August 26, 2017 8:20 PM  

Good to see Joe and Lucy getting some good fellowship.

Blogger Dave Narby August 26, 2017 8:25 PM  

Mr. Pinkerton-Tinfurter wrote:OT: The YouTube crackdown mentioned a couple of days ago has started, here's an example of what it looks like:

Interesting how it still allows you to see statistics.

I wonder if there would be interest in a browser plugin that would restore the ability to comment and rate these videos, or a search engine that would catalog them? Because I'm thinking a website could easily embed these videos and allow them to be commented on, and also catalog/make them searchable.

Because now I *really* want to know what the gnomes at Goolag don't want me to see.

Blogger Michael Maier August 26, 2017 8:37 PM  

((( bob kek mando ))) - ( You are Welcome ... to go back to the hell hole you came from ) wrote:16. Michael Maier August 26, 2017 6:55 PM

Which reminds me of some libtard that objected to my statement of 40% fake rape claims.

...

You think 1/5 utter fabricating rape charges is ACCEPTABLE?


i find White boys who can't do math unacceptable.



Oops.

I left off that he claimed to think it was "only" about half of that.

Blogger The Kurgan August 26, 2017 8:41 PM  

You find yourself unacceptable?
Well at least I'm sure you're not alone.
Pro-tip: 1/2 of 40% is 20% which = 1/5

Anonymous Círdan August 26, 2017 8:43 PM  

Let us hope Lucy was at least wearing pants...for a change.

Blogger The Kurgan August 26, 2017 8:43 PM  

It's on your comment. So unless you can edit comments now, I think it's bob who can't read, not you who can't count.

Anonymous A Most Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Deplorable Cents August 26, 2017 8:44 PM  

Did anyone ask Mariko Aoki about this?

Blogger Cail Corishev August 26, 2017 8:48 PM  

Because I'm thinking a website could easily embed these videos

According to the article I saw, you can't embed them either. You can only link to the video so people have to go directly to YouTube, where they can be shown the warning before viewing.

Blogger Michael Maier August 26, 2017 8:54 PM  

Great... I got it right but didn't re-read my original comment...

I'll go away now.

Blogger roughcoat August 26, 2017 9:07 PM  

Seeing some of the stuff the goolag is demonetizing, I can only conclude they're totally incompetent. I mean, Numberphile? Is math racist now? (Yes, I know it is.)

Blogger Quilp August 26, 2017 9:11 PM  

Gives new meaning to the bucket list

Blogger Azure Amaranthine August 26, 2017 9:18 PM  

@30. roughcoat, "Seeing some of the stuff the goolag is demonetizing, I can only conclude they're totally incompetent. I mean, Numberphile? Is math racist now? (Yes, I know it is.)"

The (vile) trick is, even though they've demonetized it for the creator, you can bet your posterior that they're still showing ads on it and collecting money themselves.

The only correct response is to immediately delete the video (or the entire profile, if they demonetized that) and re-upload it under a slightly different name. OR to an alternative, if anyone has figured anything out yet in that regard.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine August 26, 2017 9:19 PM  

In addition to that, by demonetizing the creator, they make even MORE money off it. It's totally win/win for them, unless you immediately eliminate the content they're trying to scam you on.

Anonymous MawBTS August 26, 2017 9:34 PM  

In China you get so-called "four star" toilets, where there is no toilet paper.

In India, toilets are very large and spacious - the size of an entire street, in some cases.

Blogger Scott Birch August 26, 2017 9:36 PM  

@34

[laughs]

Anonymous Mr. Pinkerton-Tinfurter August 26, 2017 10:04 PM  

Dave Narby wrote:I wonder if there would be interest in a browser plugin that would restore the ability to comment and rate these videos, or a search engine that would catalog them? Because I'm thinking a website could easily embed these videos and allow them to be commented on, and also catalog/make them searchable.

Yeah I was thinking about the possibility of a browser plugin (or user script) along those lines. But that would mean developing and running an external service to store the comments and ratings. Embedding is disabled for these videos.

As for the search engine idea, I don't see how it could be done since the only way to find these videos is by a direct link, they don't appear anywhere else on YouTube. I suppose one solution might be to have the plugin send the video URL to an external site that publishes a list of them, that would help with discoverability.

I noticed that these restricted videos don't even include a link to the uploader's channel, it's ridiculous!

Anonymous Brick Hardslab August 26, 2017 10:15 PM  

Connor McGregor is an mma fighter who is a novelty opponent for Floyd Mayweather who is 49-0 as a boxer.

I thought they were going to fight an mma bout but it's pure boxing. I don't expect it to be long or pretty but you never know how it's going to be fixed.

Blogger James Dixon August 26, 2017 10:22 PM  

> I wonder if there would be interest in a browser plugin that would restore the ability to comment and rate these videos, or a search engine that would catalog them?

As others have noted, embedding is disabled for these videos. You'd have to create a searchable database of the restricted youtube videos, their respective URL's, and a comment system. Fairly easily doable, but a lot of work to create and maintain.

If you created the comment system and database, it would probably be a lot simpler to allow the creators to add them. How many would take advantage of such a system I can't say. I also can't say whether Google would try to sue the pants off you or not.

Blogger Todd Brown August 26, 2017 10:25 PM  

Holy shit, Mike Enoch went off on VD on their podcast from yesterday. I came here expecting a response. Your move, Vox.

Blogger Thanks, J. August 26, 2017 10:27 PM  

@ Todd Brown, behind a paywall? Guess even less people heard what they said or even care. I mean let's be honest... (I like them sort of so don't get me totally wrong here).

Anonymous Jack Amok August 26, 2017 10:41 PM  

... don't expect it to be long or pretty...

Long, could be. Mayweather hasn't knocked anybody out since '11 and only has one KO and one TKO in the last ten years. Early in his career he got a lot of TKOs, but he doesn't hit very hard any more. Mostly wins on points because he's almost impossible to hit.

OTOH, McGregor isn't known for his stamina, so he could gas himself trying to hit Mayweather. Ugly, almost certainly will be.

Blogger roughcoat August 26, 2017 11:02 PM  

Mayweather's last real KO was in 1999. In the Ortiz fight in 2011, Ortiz was just standing there like a retard with his hands down and let Mayweather knock him out without defending himself.

I dunno about McGregor running out of stamina. Stamina in MMA is a lot different from stamina in boxing, and surely he's prepared for this. It's not like it's a surprise how long he'll have to last if he can't knock out Mayweather. OTOH, he must know if it goes to a decision he has a 0% chance of a win. So maybe he'll go balls to the wall in first 3-4 rounds. I can only guess.

I don't expect McGregor to win, but I'll be amused if he does.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 26, 2017 11:20 PM  

Rather than embed, you could open the youtube page in a frame. Kinda clunky, but it would give you the immediacy of having comments and video on same page. As a plus, the comments would be scrollable without affecting the video.

Blogger Picturemaker August 26, 2017 11:32 PM  

The seats of some Japanese toilets have bidet functions.

Blogger roughcoat August 26, 2017 11:38 PM  

This all assumes the video URLs will be static, though. I don't think that's a reliable assumption anymore since good service is obviously no longer their goal, and that would be a single point of failure in the scheme that google could trivially exploit.

Maybe you could keep up in an arms race getting around their methods for awhile, but what a pain in the ass. I think the effort is better spent on other projects.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( You are Welcome ... to go back to the hell hole you came from ) August 26, 2017 11:40 PM  

39. Todd Brown August 26, 2017 10:25 PM
Holy shit, Mike Enoch went off



which is more stupid:
- a White Supremacist so dumb he married a Jew
- a White Supremacist so dumb he listens to the opinion of a White Supremacist who married a Jew
- a guy who jumps to conclusions without reading the entire post?

Blogger JaimeInTexas August 26, 2017 11:49 PM  

A Japanese toilet automatically turns intona bidet?

Blogger LonestarWhacko August 26, 2017 11:53 PM  

Bidets were a big thing here in Texas in the '80s as I recall. We called them twat washers. A real high status item. Reckon that they work....from what I can see.....it's a water fixture hooked up to the toilet seat. Seems like I saw a toilet seat that blew warm air in a trade magazine. Oh well.....as for Google and YouTube.... someone will replace them. Facebook isn't cool to the kids nowadays.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( You are Welcome ... to go back to the hell hole you came from ) August 27, 2017 12:16 AM  

41. Jack Amok August 26, 2017 10:41 PM
OTOH, McGregor isn't known for his stamina, so he could gas himself trying to hit Mayweather


the only time McGregor ever gassed was that first Diaz fight when he didn't find out until 10 days prior that he wasn't fighting Dos Anjos @155.

the Diaz brothers run triathlons ... for fun. and Nate is significantly larger than Conor. and even so, Nate didn't completely gas Conor in the rematch.


i think it's hilarious that boxers want to talk about wrestlers not having any stamina.


41. Jack Amok August 26, 2017 10:41 PM
but he doesn't hit very hard any more. Mostly wins on points because he's almost impossible to hit.



Mayweather has already said that Connor surviving to the final bell, even if he loses every round unanimously, is a moral victory for McGregor.

and Mayweather has 'bulked up' ... even though he still only weighs 149 1/2 lbs. Conor will be 170 by opening bell.

and Mayweather chose the lighter gloves.

and Mayweather has said repeatedly that he will knock Conor out in the first six rounds.

*shrugs*

we will see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Zd7kmILlCk

Anonymous Charlottesvillain August 27, 2017 12:25 AM  

If you only use dry toilet paper, your anus is disgusting. Bidets FTW.

Blogger AdognamedOp August 27, 2017 12:47 AM  

Regardless of who wins, the sport of Boxing plunged the knife further in with this farce.

Anonymous Mr. Pinkerton-Tinfurter August 27, 2017 12:54 AM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:you could open the youtube page in a frame

That's prevented by an HTTP header (X-Frame-Options). It's a security measure and all major browsers obey it. Besides, a plugin can just fetch the comments and inject them on the same page so there's no friction.

roughcoat wrote:This all assumes the video URLs will be static, though. I don't think that's a reliable assumption anymore

I disagree, I'd be surprised if they changed the URLs. It's the one thing that's been constant since the start of YouTube and I doubt they'd be bothered enough by a comment restoration plugin to start a game of cat and mouse over it. They'd be more likely to just remove the restricted videos altogether. It's a good point though, if anyone does create such a plugin it might be a good idea not to rely solely on the YouTube video ID as the only way to match a video to its comments.

Charlottesvillain wrote:If you only use dry toilet paper, your anus is disgusting. Bidets FTW.

I can't afford a bidet and wet wipes clog the plumbing, so dry TP it is. Had a friend go over to India for a marriage ceremony and he had to use the hose-and-one-hand method, no TP. The end justifies the means I suppose.

Anonymous Rambam August 27, 2017 1:16 AM  

Mayweather vs McGregor was another scam. The number of honest people on this earth is miniscule. Greed will be the end of the world. Wealth is idolatry.

Anonymous Raw Cringe August 27, 2017 1:39 AM  

Charlottesvillain wrote:If you only use dry toilet paper, your anus is disgusting. Bidets FTW.

Don't worry. Your anus is disgusting either way.

Blogger wisdom wizard August 27, 2017 2:33 AM  

Mr. Day, I doubt you ever watch cartoons, but this episode is something you might be interested in.




According to One Angry Gamer, this is apparently going to be an arc too.

Anonymous Charlottesvillain August 27, 2017 2:41 AM  

Raw Cringe wrote:Charlottesvillain wrote:If you only use dry toilet paper, your anus is disgusting. Bidets FTW.

Don't worry. Your anus is disgusting either way.

Skid mark sensitivity.

Anonymous clay August 27, 2017 3:40 AM  

Ya know, I'm not sure if this is OT or not.

BUT....when I was a youngster, I worked for the Jackson Zoo for a summer.

Basically, I cleaned up for the animals.

Lots of them were in concrete cages with bars around. I just used a power pressure hose, cleaned up the turds, and took out the smelliness.

Now...first day I was working, some guy I had never seen before, comes running and hollering at me screaming "stop"!

I was hosing out the cage with the Hyenas.

The Zoo guy told me, you can't take all the shit of a hyena...they will almost kill themselves trying to crap some more.

I've know people like that. They have to have their shit.

Blogger Dire Badger August 27, 2017 3:42 AM  

Charlottesvillain wrote:Raw Cringe wrote:Charlottesvillain wrote:If you only use dry toilet paper, your anus is disgusting. Bidets FTW.

Don't worry. Your anus is disgusting either way.


Skid mark sensitivity.


The rest of us prefer not to play with our anuses or eat off of them.
We shower Daily.

Anonymous Charlottesvillain August 27, 2017 4:17 AM  

Dire Badger wrote:The rest of us prefer not to play with our anuses or eat off of them.

We shower Daily.

The likelihood that every single one of your BMs is followed by a shower is as high as the likelihood that your verbs are followed by adverbs with correct letter case.

Anonymous Killua August 27, 2017 6:58 AM  

There is some alcohol impregnated paper towels that can be used in addition to toilet paper.

I always wondered if those Japanese toilets really work. It sounds kind of gross. Doesn't that spread like the shit everywhere?

Blogger Stephen August 27, 2017 8:35 AM  

You don't need to import the whole toilet you just need to install the toilet seat, they are available. They are advertised as paying for themselves with saved toilet paper within months. You can look up "first time bidet" on YouTube if you want to see the funny face expressions.

Anonymous BBGKB August 27, 2017 9:35 AM  

You can get a portable squeeze bidet as a #SHTF plan for when you run out of toilet paper in the nigapocalypse
http://www.toiletbidet.com/portable-bidet-top-3-pick.php

Anonymous Ain August 27, 2017 10:52 AM  

"The expression on the face of someone coming out of a Japanese toilet is 40 percent 'I think I've just been raped'"

Unfortunately, with smart toilets come smart hackers.

Blogger Owen August 27, 2017 10:28 PM  

Dunno about that but anyone who can, should get a Japanese bidet. It feels great, and no more ass crustiness. Wish I still had mine but I'm renting now and the toilet is the wrong size for it.

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