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Friday, August 11, 2017

Why I don't go to conventions

This pretty much covers it, in a nutshell.



Romance and the Power of the Female Gaze panel with Donna Maree Hanson, Carrie Vaughn, Nick Hubble and Cassandra Rose Clarke. #Worldcon75

Ye cats. I don't care how big and influential Castalia House becomes in the future. You will never, ever, see me at one of those things. My one experience 20 years ago at MiniCon was considerably more than enough for me.

Besides, I have far more important things to do. Tonight, two teams from my soccer club are playing a friendly; the veterans are playing the men's second team. I am the starting left wing for the former, while Ender is a starter for the latter. The kid is brimming with confidence, claiming his team just has to keep it close until the second half, when they're counting on us running out of gas. It's not a bad strategy, since we probably have an average of 16 years per player on them. Our oldest player is a few months older than me, and he's 22 years older than their oldest player.

I realized how much is on the line when I ran into the star of the first team yesterday. He asked if I was playing, and when I said that I was, said that he'd see me there. I was a little surprised (and concerned, since he is exceptional), but he explained that most of the first team guys are coming to watch. Which means the losers will not hear the end of it any time soon.

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49 Comments:

Anonymous Morgan August 11, 2017 8:04 AM  

Carrie Vaughn was the one who wrote that story reprinted in THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF WARRIORS AND WIZARDRY where the hero after vanquishing the wizard wanders the halls of the castle bawling his head of. Exhibit One in Pink Fantasy.

Blogger WarKicker August 11, 2017 8:13 AM  

"I am the starting left wing"

My former position. Just curious, but are you left handed or ambidextrous?

Blogger Dirtnapninja August 11, 2017 8:19 AM  

I went to a local gaming convention about 25 years ago. It was a full of men and boys playing games.

I saw a photos taken from the same convention a few years ago and it was overrun with bluehairs and twilight shit and furries. WTF. No thank you.

Any masculine space that feminises will go into decline.

Anonymous Steve August 11, 2017 8:37 AM  

The butterbeast on the right is a good random example of the full-blown AIDS that is killing skiffy:

Cassandra Rose Clarke is a speculative fiction writer and occasional teacher living amongst the beige stucco and overgrown pecan trees of Houston, Texas. She is a graduate of the 2010 Clarion West Writers Workshop, and she holds a master's degree in creative writing from the The University of Texas at Austin.

Whenever you hear an author "graduated" from some "workshop" and/or has a "degree" in "creative writing", you don't even need to read their work to know that it's most likely garbage.

I don't know what they do in those workshops, but I imagine it's some sort of beefy lesbian conga line around a trash bag full of Doritos.

Miguel Cervantes, Ernest Hemingway and Robert Heinlein didn't need a university degree to write. The idea that storytelling talent can be taught in a classroom is female credentialism gone insane.

Here's the sort of liquid jenk Cassandra Rose Clarke writes, when she's not inhaling carbohydrates:

Pirate Princess Ananna of the Tanarau abandons ship when her parents try to marry her off to an allying pirate clan: she wants to captain her own boat, not serve as second-in-command to her handsome yet clueless fiance. But her escape has dire consequences when she learns the scorned clan has sent an assassin after her. - ASSASSIN'S QUEEF

Finn looks and acts human, though he has no desire to be. He was programmed to assist his owners, and performs his duties to perfection. A billion-dollar construct, his primary task is now to tutor Cat. As she grows into a beautiful young woman, Finn is her guardian, her constant companion...and more. But when the government grants rights to the ever-increasing robot population, however, Finn struggles to find his place in the world, and in Cat's heart. - SPACE ROBOT BUTT INVASION

All Hanna Euli wants is to become a proper witch – but unfortunately, she’s stuck as an apprentice to a grumpy fisherman. When their boat gets caught up in a mysterious storm and blown wildly off course, Hanna finds herself further away from home than she’s ever been before.

As she tries to get back, she learns there may be more to her apprentice master than she realized, especially when a mysterious, beautiful, and very non-human boy begins following her through the ocean, claiming that he needs Hanna’s help.
- SELKIE BOAT TO TUNA TOWN

Now, I ain't no literary snob or nothing. If female chubsters want to write or read about spunky pirate princesses having red hot space sex with bad boy selkies, I don't care.

But it's not science fiction. It belongs in a separate category, such as "BBW Romance" or "Cankles Lit".

Blogger exfarmkid August 11, 2017 8:44 AM  

MiniCon was a good time in the 80s. Lot more femi-Nazis by the mid-90s.

Good luck with your game, you old geezer!

Blogger VD August 11, 2017 8:44 AM  

No, I'm right-footed. Our left-footed wing can't join us until November, so it's mostly a matter of my being more inclined to get back and help the defense than the other right-footed starting wing. Our left defender is weaker than our right defender.

I'm usually the first-choice wing, in part because I have less stamina than the other two and come out more readily. Then I'll often return for the last 15 minutes in attack, or sometimes at wing or in defense if someone gets injured or runs out of steam. I'm now just a utility player; my main value is that I can play 6 positions and can reliably take my man out of the game.

Last season, my guy scored only two goals, and one of them was on a lucky rebound after I stuffed his first shot. I'm one of the weaker starters, so if I can shut down my guy, we're going to be in it.

Anonymous Ryan ATL August 11, 2017 8:48 AM  

Often a good right footed player will be on left wing and vice versa. See Arjen Robben. What is more important, crossing or being able to cut inside on your shooting foot?

VD, do you mind saying which club this is? Would like to follow the first team's results if I can find them online anywhere. Or the 2nd team / old guys haha

Blogger VD August 11, 2017 8:53 AM  

VD, do you mind saying which club this is?

Yes, obviously. Has the entire culture war somehow escaped your attention?

Anonymous Ryan ATL August 11, 2017 9:03 AM  

Ok I get it. Not trying to sell you out was just interested in following the club.

Blogger Cail Corishev August 11, 2017 9:07 AM  

What, you don't want to sit on a panel next to Ms. Armhams there? I'm sure she's delightful.

Anonymous Raker Tooth August 11, 2017 9:16 AM  

BUTTERBEAST?!? Just when I thought the blog couldn't get better.

Blogger Jew613 August 11, 2017 9:29 AM  

That panel looks gay. I also notice they are old, how do they expect to attract new fans with garbage like the power of the female gaze?

Blogger August August 11, 2017 9:38 AM  

I've heard cruises are pretty bad too. The morbidly obese show up to pig out and drink 24/7 for the duration.

Blogger daddynichol August 11, 2017 9:44 AM  

Steve @ 8:38

Keep posting. Please.

Anonymous fop August 11, 2017 9:55 AM  

Who is home watching all their cats?

Anonymous BBGKB August 11, 2017 10:10 AM  

I would put vanilla extract on my upper lip to go to game stores, that panel probably smells like homeless man's foot.

VD, do you mind saying which club this is?

Did you take down the videos of games posted before? I recall you posted a video of a fight that broke out on the field.

Anonymous Sheiko29 August 11, 2017 10:15 AM  

My city is home to a number of these cons. I understand they often have to post *very* basic hygiene guidelines for the patrons. Shower. Wear deodorant. Please.

But god it makes for great people watching. Nothing quite like a 300 lbs. man on a mobility scooter dressed as Wolverine.

Anonymous VFM #6306 August 11, 2017 10:31 AM  

The Powder of the Female Glazed Donut.

Anonymous Nickie August 11, 2017 10:41 AM  

We are all one race, the human race... the BBW race.

Blogger rcocean August 11, 2017 10:45 AM  

Not being a SF fan or a Trekkie, I always thought SF was just a bunch of male nerds.

Imagine my surprise -thru reading Vox - to learn SF is overrun with Left-wing Gays, and Witches, Feminists, SJWs or Scalzi types. I think any red-blooded man or boy wouldn't seen dead with these characters.

Anonymous VFM #6306 August 11, 2017 11:07 AM  

I wonder if you could get any normal scifi fans to come and the diseased pedobeefs to stay home out if you offered an exercise room with a free weight power rack.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab August 11, 2017 11:10 AM  

You should have stuck with the full contact karate. At least then you could have smacked him upside the head when he gets lippy. No matter how old and slow you get, you can always get one good one in.

Of course, watching your spawn go toe to toe with a pro heavy weight lessens the desire to try the 'upside the head'.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab August 11, 2017 11:12 AM  

@18 Eeww! Bad image before breakfast. Just coffee for me thanks.

Anonymous Forrest Bishop August 11, 2017 11:32 AM  

I used to get invited as a Pro Guest, not anymore. They found me out. One example of several- on a terraforming panel with Ben Bova moderating, the topic of global warming came up. Bova said he was concerned because his Florida beach property would be flooded by the rising ocean (he may have been kidding). I said 'not to worry, global warming is a scam and the sea level isn't going to rise because of CO2.' An audience member jumps up and just starts ranting and raving! All the usual, pre-recorded denouncements come pouring out, then he storms out of the room. The rest are silent. I turn to Bova and ask 'did I cause that?' He says 'no, he caused it all by himself'.

Anonymous VFM #6306 August 11, 2017 11:38 AM  

Bova's best book is a very quirky non-fiction one: a writer's guide for coming up with habitable planets other than "earthlike".

I bet he believes in Anthropomorphic Global Warming because it is more interesting, if less realistic, than the truth.

Anonymous Forrest Bishop August 11, 2017 11:48 AM  

Sheiko29 wrote:But god it makes for great people watching. Nothing quite like a 300 lbs. man on a mobility scooter dressed as Wolverine.

How about a 300 lb woman with all the fixin's walking her 100 lb 'man' behind her on a chain leash? A leash that attaches to his nose ring?

Blogger Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club August 11, 2017 1:02 PM  

VD, do you mind saying which club this is?

Società Sportiva Vaffanculo.

Anonymous 5343 Kinds of Deplorable August 11, 2017 1:29 PM  

Società Sportiva Vaffanculo.

I see what you did there (thanks to Google Translate) ...

Blogger ant becker August 11, 2017 1:32 PM  

No, I'm right-footed. Our left-footed wing can't join us until November, so it's mostly a matter of my being more inclined to get back and help the defense than the other right-footed starting wing. Our left defender is weaker than our right defender.

I'm usually the first-choice wing, in part because I have less stamina than the other two and come out more readily.


It's a good job you don't play 'Wing-Back' or you'd be fucked. Looking at your physical atts i'd say you'd be better playing just in front of the back four as 'Anchor-man'. You can mop up any attacks, then after winning the ball you can pass it on to the more attacking chaps in the team. :)

Anonymous Jon Bromfield August 11, 2017 1:49 PM  

"But it's not science fiction. It belongs in a separate category, such as "BBW Romance" or 'Cankles Lit'".

It's posts like that that keeps me checking out this blog daily - despite the coffee blasting the flatscreen though my nose!

Keep 'em comin", Steve!

Blogger Nate73 August 11, 2017 1:51 PM  

Okay I'm retarded, is the picture saying they are fat, cat-ladies, feminists, or all 3? I'm starting to think there might be something suspicious about 40+ or 30+ year old unmarried women or something.

Anonymous 5343 Kinds of Deplorable August 11, 2017 2:16 PM  

I'm starting to think there might be something suspicious about 40+ or 30+ year old unmarried women or something.

Yes. Not all their cat's lives are good ones, I suspect.

Anonymous Minion 0132 August 11, 2017 2:17 PM  

Here's how Cassandra presents herself to the unwary:

http://www.cassandraroseclarke.com/bio-and-contact.html

Twenty years and 100 lbs ago.

Blogger Ben Cohen August 11, 2017 2:17 PM  

Went to dragoncon four years ago and will never go to one again. No hygiene, weird topics, and sjws have taken over.

And the creators of Star wars and Star trek are a bunch of perverts as vox pointed out.

Anonymous 5343 Kinds of Deplorable August 11, 2017 2:18 PM  

Twenty years and 100 lbs ago.

Those shots of head and shoulders only can be deceptive, but we are learning to read between the lines.

Blogger Pseudotsuga August 11, 2017 2:29 PM  

The word "convention" has apparently been secretly replaced with the word "convergence."
I realized, back in the 1980s, that even though I was a fan of the genres at the core of these assemblies, many (if not most) of the people who religiously attend these "conventions" were people with whom I actually have little in common. It's almost like SciFi stuff was their whole life, and nothing else. For me, it was one aspect of a few, but not the center. (It's the old "true fan" vs. "fringe fan" problem.)
30 years later, I understand my discomfort with these people.



Anonymous A Most Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents August 11, 2017 3:27 PM  

Wait, that panel title Romance and the Power of the Female Gaze is real, not made up?

@10
What, you don't want to sit on a panel next to Ms. Armhams there? I'm sure she's delightful.

I first read this as "don't want to sit on a planet next to Ms. Armhams".

All of this explains why the best SF was found in used book stores for years, prior to CH's creation.

Blogger Junius Stone August 11, 2017 4:01 PM  

DragonCon is still worth it, but you want a con sympathetic to the more rightward/liberty oriented sort of things, (it even has shooting events), check into LibertyCon, Vox.

Blogger Danby August 11, 2017 4:35 PM  

"The power of the female gaze"
There is no power in the female gaze. As the old song goes, boys watch girls and girls watch boys watching girls. Men act, women react. There is no power in the female gaze.

Blogger Thucydides August 11, 2017 5:10 PM  

@39
Don't forget your classical mythology. The gaze of Medusa turned men into stone, and even after death and her head was placed on the Aegis of Athena to strike fear into the hearts of men and gods exposed to it.

Although I'm confident none of the people on that panel would ever understand the classical allusions.

Anonymous Raptor disrespect from behind August 11, 2017 5:19 PM  

I went to a convention once and it was most of the most disgusting experiences I have had in a first world country.

I am curious though how many sales an author might get as a result of attending one now that ebooks are more of a thing than they were 20 years ago.

Anonymous WaterBoy August 11, 2017 5:24 PM  

Danby @39: "There is no power in the female gaze. As the old song goes..."

And as another song relates, tell that to Bette Davis

Anonymous Jack August 11, 2017 5:36 PM  

Fake news headline: Altright Leader Vox Day Now Says: "I am left wing."

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 11, 2017 5:52 PM  

WaterBoy wrote:And as another song relates, tell that to Bette Davis
Well, women lie to themselves, now don't they.

Anonymous Jon Bromfield August 11, 2017 6:26 PM  

"I am curious though how many sales an author might get as a result of attending one now that ebooks are more of a thing than they were 20 years ago."

Given that the results of today's Hugo Awards show that the SJWs are back in charge, the prestige and commercial value of that award are zilch.

Anonymous 2106 Things I Hate August 11, 2017 8:20 PM  

Butterbeasts and Hamplanets, all.

Anonymous aeou August 11, 2017 8:46 PM  

Steve you are a magnificent bastard and consistently the funniest poster on this blog. Kudos

Blogger The Overgrown Hobbit August 12, 2017 12:51 AM  

Yes. Quite right, Vox Day. You have to go back. You're an immigrant to SF&F fandom.

Never fear, SF&F publishing is a separate albeit intersecting set with fandom.

In other words, DuckDuckGo "Dragon Con panels" for young exciting fandom, vs. cranky, constipated World-Con farm teams.

Anonymous Anonymous August 13, 2017 5:18 AM  

Greetings from the Worldcon! I feel like a spy here, but enjoy my bookselling, picking non-ideological programs (even held one myself) and meeting friends (who very well know my opinions) I like crossing enemy lines. American visitors seem to be in their 60s-70s, but Asian ones are young and business-oriented.

Fun so far. I like being a spy

Anon at con

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