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Sunday, September 10, 2017

NFL Week One

This is the weekly NFL open thread. A reminder: those who attempt to take this opportunity to posture about their television-watching habits and answer a question that no one has asked will be spammed.

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92 Comments:

Anonymous Weak September 10, 2017 1:10 PM  

Are the Steelers going to rest their starters this week before the real opponents begin next week?

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 1:18 PM  

Can't say I'm liking the revamp of nfl.com.
Old style: a 'ribbon' just below the banner featuring all the day's scores and game clocks, continuously updated with a 'big play alert' for particular games that pop out with ''X runs for Y yards'' or ''X - 42 yrd FG'' with a pic and blurb for a featured game below that.
New version: A 'button' for scores that brings up a list arranged top to bottom, team abbreviations and clock to the left, scores to the right.
I can see why they did it, it's more phone-friendly, but I still can't say I like it, looks quite blah.

Blogger allyn71 September 10, 2017 1:22 PM  

Whatever the Titans are paying Delanie Walker, double it! Did everything for them on that drive.

Only watching that game because of fantasy but that was impressive.

Blogger VD September 10, 2017 1:25 PM  

Hey, I got the KC defense! No real points, but promising!

Oh. My opponent started K. Hunt at RB....

Anonymous Überdeplorable Psychedelic Cat Grass September 10, 2017 1:28 PM  

@1 Bill Lumberg voice, "Yeah...if you could go ahead and put the second string in that'd be great. Thanks Peter!"

@2 I'm sick of web site redesigns for phones. There's something to be said about the speed and ease of a typing on a desktop computer. I write that as I am on my phone. #irony

Well it doesn't start until after 4 but let's go horse! My Boilermakers are 1-1 and my Aggies redeemed themselves after that embarrassing debacle against UCLA. I feel that Luck is in the air. *rimshot*

Anonymous VFM #6306 September 10, 2017 1:28 PM  

Cleveland will surprise a lot of people this season, that they are still in the league.

I'm really pulling for LA this year, to fall into the ocean. Contraction is exactly what the league needs right now.

Skol Vikings. Now with a redskin quarterback!

Blogger Cubby8126 September 10, 2017 1:30 PM  

Hey vox,
You've stated in the past that you enioy the nfl because of the chesslike tactics involved (or something along those lines), so ill offer a challenge on chess.com if you ever have the time or want. Go detroit masochists errrr lions!

Blogger Quilp September 10, 2017 1:31 PM  

Jets @ Bills. playing for the #1 pick in the draft already.
I try to be optimistic about all things in life, but Tom Brady's time in the league has killed hope for non Patriot AFC East fans.

Blogger Cubby8126 September 10, 2017 1:39 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous Looking Glass September 10, 2017 1:40 PM  

@6 VFM #6306

Haha, the Cleveland line got me.


@8 Quilp

I think the oldest starting QB in league history was 42 or 43, so you should be free of the Terror of Brady within 5 years.

Blogger allyn71 September 10, 2017 1:44 PM  

Oh. My opponent started K. Hunt at RB....

Going against a guy that had him but left on his bench. Will bring that up, after I win of course.

Blogger The Sasquatch September 10, 2017 1:50 PM  

I was looking for Bengals highlights on Comedy Central, like normal. Then, I remembered. Things have changed. Comedy Central isn't funny anymore.

Anonymous Kreator September 10, 2017 1:51 PM  

OT but guys:

Pewdiepie said "nigger" during a stream: https://oddshot.tv/s/g_05U6

Redpilling continues or just a coincidence?

Blogger Josh (the sexiest thing here) September 10, 2017 1:52 PM  

Defense is optional in Oakland Tennessee so far

Anonymous RomanCandle September 10, 2017 1:53 PM  

Maybe I'm just a Cowboys homer, and maybe it's just in comparison to Phil Simms...but I think Tony Romo is really good as an announcer so far.

Blogger Josh (the sexiest thing here) September 10, 2017 1:55 PM  

Maybe I'm just a Cowboys homer, and maybe it's just in comparison to Phil Simms...but I think Tony Romo is really good as an announcer so far.

I concur. Impressive so far.

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 1:56 PM  

@5 Überdeplorable Psychedelic Cat Grass
The only web site redesign for phones I can say that I like was ZeroHedge. The old version was much too cluttered.

Anonymous VFM #6306 September 10, 2017 1:59 PM  

Cleveland is playing out of their minds, simply steamrolling and the Steelers are screwing up every way possible and didn't get a 1st down in the 1st quarter.

Of course, that means it is 7-7 after one.

Anonymous Looking Glass September 10, 2017 2:01 PM  

@15 RomanCandle

Simms has been bland as heck since his workout video days. Not a terrible commentator, actually, but just a rather bland man. Romo has a lot more personality that works well on TV.

Anonymous DaveInjustice September 10, 2017 2:02 PM  

Cleveland managed a new franchise record, being embarrassing​ and irrelevant before the season even started

Blogger bw September 10, 2017 2:02 PM  

Romo is really good as an announcer so far.

Even funnier, he's better than the QB Dallas now has

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 2:03 PM  

RomanCandle wrote:Maybe I'm just a Cowboys homer, and maybe it's just in comparison to Phil Simms...but I think Tony Romo is really good as an announcer so far.
I said it was a wise move for him to get off the field while still in one piece. Though I don't think the Cowboys will have the inside track to the NFC championship again.
First, black QB, he had his bust out season last year, and now the inevitable decline begins. Not saying they can't make the playoffs, but quite possibly not as division winner, it looks like the Giants will really give them a run for their money.

Blogger Josh (the sexiest thing here) September 10, 2017 2:08 PM  

Even funnier, he's better than the QB Dallas now has

Not for 16 games

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 2:10 PM  

RomanCandle wrote:Maybe I'm just a Cowboys homer, and maybe it's just in comparison to Phil Simms...but I think Tony Romo is really good as an announcer so far.
Also, after seeing Simms, Troy Aikman, Dan Marino, Boomer Esiason, and Joe Montana all do stints in the broadcast booth and all of them having a 'deer in the headlights' look and often sounding confused and 'slow' convinced me that the concussion issue is quite real - the term 'punch drunk' comes to mind.

Anonymous VFM #6306 September 10, 2017 2:10 PM  

Cleveland is lining up on punt formation on every down on defense. No I am not joking and yes it is working.

It is like watching a live action performance of a Mike Judge movie.

Shine on you crazy Browns.

Blogger SemiSpook37 September 10, 2017 2:12 PM  

Well, not looking so hot right now in Cleveland. Then again, this is Tomlin playing down to his opponents, as is tradition. Tuitt getting injured doesn't help matters, either.

Prior to Kerrigan's pick-six of Wentz, I was not liking that in Raljon. However, the Skins need to get it together. It's the freakin' Eagles, after all.

Blogger bw September 10, 2017 2:12 PM  

Not for 16 games

With that team.
For history.

Anonymous Looking Glass September 10, 2017 2:16 PM  

@25 VFM #6306

How deep is the final corner?

Blogger Cinco September 10, 2017 2:23 PM  

Romo is really good as an announcer so far.

Just wait till the 4th quarter...

Anonymous VFM #6306 September 10, 2017 2:24 PM  

How deep is the final corner?

Six.

Feet.

Okay, that is a slight exaggeration. When they are in the punt formation, the furthest back is four yards off the line and moving forward. The safety (Peppers) is downfield, off the screen, at least 20 yards away.

It looks like the old Maddens swamp blitz you could do with punt formations on the PC version.

Blogger bw September 10, 2017 2:25 PM  

Just wait till the 4th quarter...

Which is hilarious, when one knows the numbers...

Blogger Nate September 10, 2017 2:26 PM  

Cory Davis looking like a top five pick

Blogger bw September 10, 2017 2:26 PM  

propaganda and emotion is strong with these ones...

Blogger SemiSpook37 September 10, 2017 2:27 PM  

29 yd TD for Cousins to go up on the Eagles? I LIKE THAT!

Blogger Cataline Sergius September 10, 2017 2:29 PM  

Can't believe the Browns didn't snap up Colin Kaepernick.

(*kicks a pebble while looking downcast*)

When did the NFL get this political?

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 2:33 PM  

The Texans are looking rather distracted, which considering they're opening at home is quite understandable. Baddell should have moved that game as well. At least he nixed the idea that the Bucs-Dolphins game get relocated to Tampa. Had that happened either he would have been forced to the week 11 swap or had no choice but to cancel the game outright.

Blogger Josh (the sexiest thing here) September 10, 2017 2:36 PM  

That third down shovel pass was sweet

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 2:38 PM  

Cataline Sergius wrote:Can't believe the Browns didn't snap up Colin Kaepernick.

(*kicks a pebble while looking downcast*)

When did the NFL get this political?

Nah, I think they've had their fill of headcase QB's, they volunteered to be the disposal unit for Ossweiler.
That said, it wouldn't surprise me that in the pink season some team may actually get desperate enough to sign him.

Blogger James Dixon September 10, 2017 2:43 PM  

> Can't believe the Browns didn't snap up Colin Kaepernick.

Politics had nothing to do with it. He's not that good. Teams are as likely to make a call to Tebow as Kaepernick, and you know how likely that is.

Blogger Nate September 10, 2017 2:46 PM  

Holy shit.

The NFL refs are out to prove that they can be even worse than they were last year.

Blogger Nate September 10, 2017 2:47 PM  

"Politics had nothing to do with it."

its not really politics. Its the fact that Kap brings tons of headaches and drama that owners don't want to deal with. sure if you're an amazing talent... they will tolerate a lot. But for a guy that's borderline?

hell no.

Blogger James Dixon September 10, 2017 2:53 PM  

Like I said, Nate, he's not that good. If he were a Brady, Manning, Brees, Rodgers, or Roethlisberger level talent he'd have a job in spite of the drama. He isn't. Honestly, half the backup quarterbacks in the league are as good as he is. Some are better.

Blogger Mr. Naron September 10, 2017 2:55 PM  

I'm stuck watching Gamecast of the Raiders Titans because the LA area sucks. It's like watching the 2016 election, though because the Win % keeps changing wildly every time something happens.

Blogger Dave September 10, 2017 3:07 PM  

"The NFL refs are out to prove that they can be even worse than they were last year."

They're succeeding

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 3:34 PM  

Dave wrote:"The NFL refs are out to prove that they can be even worse than they were last year."

They're succeeding

Hiring them full time is obviously not helping.

Blogger Cataline Sergius September 10, 2017 3:41 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger James Dixon September 10, 2017 3:45 PM  

> Dude, that was a joke.

You should know that doesn't always work online. :)

I apologize. If I'd noticed he name on the comment I would probably have realized.

Blogger Cataline Sergius September 10, 2017 3:45 PM  

@39 James Dixon

Dude, that was a joke.

At 29 his NFL palm crystal was blinking red.

He had to know it and I suspect but can't prove that part of the motivation for his drama last year was hoping the 49ers would be afraid to fire him. It's San Francisco after all.

Blogger JaimeInTexas September 10, 2017 3:45 PM  

Sort of watching the disaster in Houston. No, not Harvey, the Texans.
Will the 1/4 back drama ever end?

Blogger bw September 10, 2017 3:46 PM  

https://www.profootballfocus.com/news/pro-top-10-nfl-qbs-past-decade

Blogger Cataline Sergius September 10, 2017 3:46 PM  

Sorry I hit post accidentally. Hence the deletion.

Blogger Cataline Sergius September 10, 2017 3:47 PM  

Anyway, no hard feelings.

Anonymous 2106 Things I Hate September 10, 2017 3:50 PM  

Annnnd Roethlisberger passes up Tarkington on the all time passing yards list, moving into the #9 slot.

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 3:57 PM  

There certainly was a 'super bowl hangover' for both teams.
The Patriots got stunned Thurs, and now the Falcons are having to fend off a last second attempt by the Bears (?!) to tie or win.

Blogger Retrenched September 10, 2017 4:14 PM  

I have no TV today...

But hey, go Cowboys, I guess.

Anonymous IncoherentM September 10, 2017 4:33 PM  

Every year I question why I continue to pull for the Redskins. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Anonymous patrick kelly September 10, 2017 4:44 PM  

Well muh Raiderz did ok today, but I didn't get to watch them. To many other distractions going on. I don't know for sure that they were even on any local TV. I don't subscribe to any pay for sport TV.

Blogger Jabari September 10, 2017 4:50 PM  

Bleh, the Cardinals looked awful against a mid-tier team. Offense was terrible and the defense forgot to show up after halftime.

Bad team is bad, again. 6-10 here we come. :(

Anonymous Rambam September 10, 2017 4:56 PM  

Texans football is boring. Front office and coaching staff are inept. Fortunately, they play in the weakest division in the AFC. DeShaun Watson will get hammered this year. JJ should become host for Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon. Guy is a fantastic fundraiser.

Blogger Dave September 10, 2017 4:58 PM  

Skins-Iggles was an ugly game. Iggles finally snapped the streak of 5 straight losses to the Skins where they often made Cousins look like he was actually worth $25M.

The Bird's D held the Skins offense to 10 points even after losing their best CB Darby when he rolled his ankle. Not a good feeling to be laying on the ground holding up your leg and looking at the side of your foot sticking out sideways.

Anonymous HoosierHillbilly September 10, 2017 5:11 PM  

The Colts are just going to rest for a few years. Let everyone else catch up to our division title dominance. May the best team with a T win.

At least...that is the excuse as we settle in to watching the defense get picked apart...again.

Blogger YIH September 10, 2017 5:49 PM  

HoosierHillbilly wrote:The Colts are just going to rest for a few years. Let everyone else catch up to our division title dominance. May the best team with a T win.

At least...that is the excuse as we settle in to watching the defense get picked apart...again.

Yeah Luck's out for Sept, and it sounds like the injury bug has bit them pretty hard. Not a good start against a team that isn't good.

Blogger Mr. Naron September 10, 2017 6:17 PM  

The Raiders looked good, Patrick. My boy hooked us up with a stream of the game. I got to watch most of the 2nd half.

People are killing me on FB with their virtue signaling about boycotting the NFL. They refuse to see the irony of using FB to do so. SMH.

Anonymous HoosierHillbilly September 10, 2017 6:36 PM  

@62 Not great news, but can you blame the guy for wanting to be careful? Gets the snap and thinks "Oh, I wonder which direction the hit will come from this time?"

But heck, he plays with innards bleeding for a while? He has fairly well secured himself in the hearts of the fans. Let him sit so he can play long term.

Anonymous Bell Worthington September 10, 2017 6:37 PM  

Looks like it's shaping up to be a great year. There will be some great performances of niggers throwing balls, niggers catching balls, niggers running with balls, niggers kicking balls, and niggers crashing into each other. All of the teams have worked hard in the off season to ensure that their niggers are in tip-top shape to move the ball up and down the field. The coaches have no doubt come up with some great new strategies for positioning and moving their niggers to advantageous places on the field. Like every year, some of the niggers will set records while other niggers will disappoint, but in the aggregate we can look forward to the niggers putting on a great show. And if the 11 minutes of actual action during each game isn't enough, every game will also bring at least 2 hours of sweaty nigger close-ups. Is this the greatest timeline or what?

Anonymous HoosierHillbilly September 10, 2017 6:41 PM  

@5 Boilers might have finally found a coach for themselves. Seems like he'll bring them back into the second tier of the Big Ten. Then get poached by the big boys with the dough (~4-6 years?). Great if he stayed.

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein September 10, 2017 6:44 PM  

Raiders won. Panthers winning biggly. Effing Patriots got curbstomped by the Chiefs.
If the New York Football Giants beat the Cowboys tonight, the only blemish on opening day would be Clemson-NFL losing to the Jags...

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein September 10, 2017 6:46 PM  

@65
Settle down, Hormel.

Blogger mike September 10, 2017 7:17 PM  

@68

Can't say he's wrong, though...

Blogger Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club September 10, 2017 7:58 PM  

At 29 his NFL palm crystal was blinking red.

I don't know why I hadn't realized he was that old, but that's enough to put a lot of NFL teams off. Thirty is The Wall in football too.

Blogger RobertDWood September 10, 2017 8:20 PM  

Rodgers catching 12 defenders on the field never gets old

Anonymous JAG September 10, 2017 8:27 PM  

The Packers can rest assured of yet another season of having the refs in their back pocket. They would have won anyway, but god damn, stop coddling them.

Anonymous Cyclone Bob September 10, 2017 8:32 PM  

Way out of line there, Worthington, and extremely distasteful. The kickers are White guys.

Anonymous Hammerman September 10, 2017 8:39 PM  

Lets go Cowboys!
Our questions for the season:
Will the O-line gel?
Can Dak build on a strong debut?
Can our defense stop anyone?

Blogger Lazarus September 10, 2017 8:53 PM  

Bell Worthington wrote:Looks like it's shaping up to be a great year.

Not only that, they will wear fuchia gear in Pinktober.

But it will still be white QB's (sub-drivers), owners (Planters) and head coaches (drivers) giving them instructions.

Its like a damn plantation, Bee Worth.

Blogger Lazarus September 10, 2017 8:54 PM  

Hammerman wrote:Lets go Cowboys!

Our questions for the season:

Will the O-line gel?

Can Dak build on a strong debut?

Can our defense stop anyone?


Will Jerry Jones get his son in law to clean his glasses on national tv again? Rabid Cowboy fans want to know.

Blogger Lazarus September 10, 2017 8:57 PM  

Cyclone Bob wrote:Way out of line there, Worthington, and extremely distasteful. The kickers are White guys.

AND it is called football!

Blogger Lazarus September 10, 2017 9:12 PM  

James Dixon wrote:Like I said, Nate, he's not that good. If he were a Brady, Manning, Brees, Rodgers, or Roethlisberger level talent he'd have a job in spite of the drama.

The Ravens were talking about hiring him when his BLM girlfriend memed Ray Lewis as an uncle tom. Ray Lewis was pushing for his hiring, and his dimwit Ho screwed it up. He has been in shizzle since he met that skank.

So no, the drama is important.

Dump the skank, K-man. Get a job.

Blogger exfarmkid September 10, 2017 10:03 PM  

Listened to the Seahawks/Packers game driving across north Wisconsin today. So. Walsh can kick field goals FOR Seattle ....

Blogger JaimeInTexas September 10, 2017 10:04 PM  

Are you sure it is not Savage you have in mind.

Blogger Wayne September 10, 2017 10:32 PM  

@78. I didn't know that Kaperdork's ho worked for the Bureau of Land Management.

Blogger Lazarus September 10, 2017 11:02 PM  

Wayne wrote:@78. I didn't know that Kaperdork's ho worked for the Bureau of Land Management.

You made my day, Wayne. That is so bad its good.

Anonymous Jack Amok September 10, 2017 11:10 PM  

Welcome, everybody, to Year 3 of Tom Cable trying to get Russel Wilson killed...

Anonymous A Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents September 10, 2017 11:49 PM  

A few more players sitting out the Star Spangled Banner this weekend

After listing off a few players, the last line is tastefully understated:

Kaepernick remains unsigned after trying unsuccessfully to land a job with another team following his release from the 49ers.

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Blogger newbietrader September 11, 2017 7:16 AM  

just an honest question? you all bitch about cucks and the left and then watch the NFL which is a cuck converged organization catering to the LEFT, why? why are you giving them your time and money? oh right I forgot, more proof that the alt right actually is left

Blogger Cail Corishev September 11, 2017 10:53 AM  

just an honest question?

In the history of man, has this ever been followed by an honest question?

Blogger Roger G2 September 11, 2017 1:19 PM  

Holding the NYG to so few points was a pretty good start, tho Eli wasn't exactly on fire. Go Cowboys.

Anonymous Ham Solo September 11, 2017 2:53 PM  

Indianapolis is the new Cleveland

Blogger James Dixon September 11, 2017 8:31 PM  

> ... you all bitch about cucks and the left and then watch the NFL which is a cuck converged organization catering to the LEFT, why?

It's a guy thing. You wouldn't understand.

Anonymous Clay September 12, 2017 7:45 AM  

"newbietrader wrote:just an honest question? you all bitch about cucks and the left and then watch the NFL which is a cuck converged organization catering to the LEFT, why? why are you giving them your time and money? oh right I forgot, more proof that the alt right actually is left

Hmmm...wanna bet his turds come out sideways?

Blogger Cail Corishev September 12, 2017 8:04 PM  

Well, ESPNFL doubled down hard Monday night. First of all, they had a woman in the booth doing play-by-play. Then they also had a Mexican guy from ESPN Deportes stumbling through a 30-second bit on the sideline at one point. It included a bit about the "diversity" of the coaches or something, but it was really awkward and didn't make much sense. Then from his hotel room after the game, he called himself a "29-year-old Mexican guy" (guess that Magic Dirt in California hasn't worked on him yet) and rambled on more about how he wanted to show respect to minorities on the big stage of the NFL. Because that's what NFL games are about, you know, especially on 9/11 -- foreigners respecting minorities.

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