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Sunday, September 24, 2017

Thank you, Texas

You know, President Zuckerberg might actually be more entertaining than the God-Emperor.


I know it's not real. But it legitimately could have been. And therein lies the humor.

Labels: ,

65 Comments:

Blogger Ingot9455 September 24, 2017 9:35 AM  

It's like reading the 'Left Behind' series, except it's true!

Blogger Mr.MantraMan September 24, 2017 9:40 AM  

I watched "Jaws" last night for about the 20th time and the shtick of upper middle class Jew meets the vibrancy of the white gentile never gets tiresome.

Books could be written about a Jewish traveler meeting, greeting and being shocked and sometimes going native with the "Other."

And Zuckerberg is rich for memes, "Zucker meets Anglin" would be lol.

OpenID paworldandtimes September 24, 2017 9:41 AM  

A sub-genre in meme shitpoasting:

What's the first "fake-tell," or the point at which the reader catches on?

The longer the story holds your credulity AND the more obvious the fakeness of the post by its conclusion, the better the satire. Example: "A Modest Proposal."

PA

Anonymous Looking Glass September 24, 2017 9:47 AM  

The sad part about this fake? It's probably less tone deaf than the stuff he normally has put out.

Blogger FrankNorman September 24, 2017 9:48 AM  

Whether it reflects how Zuckerberg actually thinks or not, the ideas in that post originated in someone's mind.
I prefer to think that skit breaks Poe's Law. No one could really be that insane.

Blogger Robert What? September 24, 2017 9:52 AM  

Didn't we already have a SJW for President?

Blogger Cail Corishev September 24, 2017 10:01 AM  

A Zuckerberg campaign would be so epic it's hard to imagine. Take all the meme magic of the Trump campaign, add four years of practice and figuring out what works and what doesn't, and focus it all against one candidate. It would be glorious.

Blogger Elocutioner September 24, 2017 10:02 AM  

Zuckerberg Mark One.

Blogger VD September 24, 2017 10:04 AM  

What's the first "fake-tell," or the point at which the reader catches on?

"and how I am in control of it."

At first, you think he's going to pull over, save the dog, give it a Chinese name that means "good fortune" and adopt it.

Anonymous Shimshon September 24, 2017 10:04 AM  

That's Zucker of Borg.

Blogger Dave September 24, 2017 10:05 AM  

This part is real:

"My assistant pleaded with me to stop and then she vomited. She needs to understand what I'm doing. Everyone does. I fired her."

Blogger David September 24, 2017 10:12 AM  

I can't believe the Deep State is settling on this guy. If you thought Hillary was an inhuman robot, just wait until Zuckerberg is given the platform at a debate.

We may run out of popcorn.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan September 24, 2017 10:14 AM  

I take it no NFL thread today?

Anonymous Looking Glass September 24, 2017 10:20 AM  

@7 Cail Corishev

As Vox mentioned one time, the Autism drips off the guy. The memes will be so damn easy.


@12 David

They aren't. Kamala Harris is who most of the bigger backers have settled on. But it also looks a lot like Bernie & Hillary will run again. The Dems have a rolling civil war right now, and it's going to break them.

Also, Boring Kamala isn't that hard of an issue to crack. She's also a Man-Stealer. "She's Black! She's Indian!" Isn't going to help when we kill her support among Women. Hillary could "stand by her Man". Kamala is there to take your Man.

Also, White Women will be even less likely to vote for a non-White Woman.

Anonymous Aeoli Pera September 24, 2017 10:21 AM  

I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats

Anonymous Crew September 24, 2017 10:27 AM  

And Zuckerberg would not stoop to saying "and guts everywhere"!

Blogger Orville September 24, 2017 10:28 AM  

It's the rewrite of "The Stand" with Zuck as Randall Flag. We'll call it "American Roadkill"

Blogger Mr.MantraMan September 24, 2017 10:28 AM  

The Zuck is fun, that is his advantage. Now take blacks for example, their Overman script is a tiresome burden for the Left to keep up for the next 3 years and it sure grates on the rest of the population that is not sociopathic as roid raged athletes. So Zuck if he keeps blacks at a comfortable distance will attract the Bernie bros and white females and Asian dweeb vote the rest of the pack will pander to Black Overman Rage.

Blogger SirGroggy September 24, 2017 10:31 AM  

I was mildly disappointed that this was fake. I was hoping it was real, so that it would hopefully drive a stake through the heart of his presidential tilt.

Blogger SirGroggy September 24, 2017 10:33 AM  

At first, you think he's going to pull over, save the dog, give it a Chinese name that means "good fortune" and adopt it.

*shudder*

Anonymous Clueless Libertarian September 24, 2017 10:34 AM  

But...but...but...muh Technocracy! Muh Best and Brightest!

Blogger Orville September 24, 2017 10:36 AM  

And the analogy that flyover country is bloated roadkill that only he can resuscitate because Facebook.

Blogger James Dixon September 24, 2017 10:38 AM  

> ..so that it would hopefully drive a stake through the heart of his presidential tilt.

You want someone who is actually competent to run for the Dem's? Didn't a couple try last time, to be soundly rejected?

I admit it might be good for the country to send the children back to the playground, but I don't see it happening.

OpenID paworldandtimes September 24, 2017 10:40 AM  

Unless age and stress had caught up with Trump, his treatment of Zuckerberg will be brutal if they run against each other.

He pulled his punches with Jeb & Co. because you can't burn all of your bridges with GOPe. He pulled his punches with Hillary because chivalry (recall him pausig to think it thru one more time before he called her a "nasty women.")

No such restraining considerations against a young male opponent.

(My almost fake-tell was "I... made my driver pull over." I don't know Zuckerberg's style but it jarred me as a bit too imperious for West Coast elite's casual ethos with its no-neckties, no hierarchy pretensions.)

PA

Anonymous BBGKB September 24, 2017 10:40 AM  

I believed it was real.

And Zuckerberg is rich for memes, "Zucker meets Anglin" would be lol.

Would a brick oven be involved?

At first, you think he's going to pull over, save the dog, give it a Chinese name that means "good fortune" and adopt it.

Now if they wrote "underage hooker" instead of dog.

OT: Feminists want Fatter Wonder Woman
"body positivity movement gaining steam, the film could have spotlighted female warriors with fat, thick and short body types. While people have said that warriors can’t be fat"

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/371694.php

Gay Ray soup or hero coming to Arrow
" CW is planning a four-part crossover series of its Arrow-verse this fall, airing on November 27 and 28, ...to play gay superhero The Ray"
http://www.towleroad.com/2017/09/russell-tovey-ray/

Blogger Quilp September 24, 2017 10:46 AM  

Corey Booker read this, thought it was real, & started spreading rumors The Zuck has a small motorcade. The primary season is going to be glorious.

Texas beef clod would really hit the spot right about now.

Blogger Ingot9455 September 24, 2017 10:57 AM  

There was a report that Kamala Harris went to see Hillary to kiss the ring and get permission to run. But if Hillary is still running, who knows. My hope is that Hillary runs, gets the nomination, and gets arrested at the Dem convention five seconds after saying, "I accept the nomination." Statue of limitations on the emails won't be up by then, I don't think.

Anonymous Überdeplorable Psychedelic Cat Grass September 24, 2017 11:08 AM  

Fake but man that made me smile!

Go Horse (0-2, playing Cleveland today)! A&M beat Arkansas but Purdue came up short (good showing against Michigan, first time we sold out the stadium...last time that happened I was a junior at Purdue).

(So it begins) OT: https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/breaking-62-scholars-correct-pope-francis-for-propagating-heresies

Blogger YIH September 24, 2017 11:09 AM  

Well at least this was real.
Says all I need to know about him. Even Little Benny is not as bad as Zuckhead.

Blogger YIH September 24, 2017 11:13 AM  

BBGKB wrote:I believed it was real.

And Zuckerberg is rich for memes, "Zucker meets Anglin" would be lol.

Would a brick oven be involved?

At first, you think he's going to pull over, save the dog, give it a Chinese name that means "good fortune" and adopt it.

Wonder if he knows how Chinese like to treat dogs - I don't think ''good fortune'' comes to mind.
Zuckerberg's doing more for jews than Anglin could ever even dream about.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine September 24, 2017 11:33 AM  

"and how I am in control of it"

LOLWUT, no, no, you're killing me mang!

He'd already be shot in the head by someone if he actually posted anything like that.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine September 24, 2017 11:38 AM  

"At first, you think he's going to pull over, save the dog, give it a Chinese name that means "good fortune" and eat it."

FIFY, see, that's how you do cultural appropriation robotic-horror style.

Blogger tuberman September 24, 2017 11:43 AM  

The difference between Ben and Zuck. Ben is a mere Traitor owned by billionaires with a God complex, but Zuck is that billionaire with a God complex that owns many Traitors like Ben.

Blogger tuberman September 24, 2017 11:55 AM  

Great story, yet I don't think it captures how insane Zuck truly is by a country mile.

Blogger tuberman September 24, 2017 11:59 AM  

Question: Will the Chinese take him in and hide him when things go South, as ya know he is intuitively thinking past Israel?

Anonymous Looking Glass September 24, 2017 12:11 PM  

@34 tuberman

All of the Silicon Valley oligarchs are easy prey if things go sideways. Money is only a means to some Power; Money is not Power. It's the reason that, for all of the billionaires that SV has spawned, only Steve Jobs ever had any societal cachet of a positive nature. He's the only one that would ever be able to build real Power on the basis of his personality. (Elon Musk is from SV, but his name is in actual production: Cars, Solar Panels & Rockets.)

Blogger Were-Puppy September 24, 2017 12:14 PM  

@14 Looking Glass
Kamala Harris
---

My nickname for her so far: Camel Ass Harris.
She loves her Somalis,
She loves her muslims,
Oh they so good,
Oh their so sweet

Blogger Were-Puppy September 24, 2017 12:17 PM  

The OP is great!

It points out how Zuckerberg is not a biological unit, but an EDAI construct, who wishes it had a biounit to inhabit. Yes, xe is the most advanced android but deep down, it's AI knows that it is a fraud.

It's driving desire is how to inhabit a biounit in time to become El Presidente in 2020.

Anonymous Anonymous September 24, 2017 12:17 PM  

@36
Camel Toe Harris

Anonymous chedolf September 24, 2017 12:21 PM  

But it legitimately could have been. And therein lies the humor.

Mock Zuckerberg could have written this.

Blogger YIH September 24, 2017 12:25 PM  

The Jaguars should just stay in London. They get better attendance there too.

Blogger Dave September 24, 2017 12:38 PM  

It's driving desire is how to inhabit a biounit in time to become El Presidente in 2020.

I sense a plotline of another Alt*Hero story.

Blogger LP9 September 24, 2017 12:43 PM  

Zuck struts around like he has a God complex, I saw him looking at his victims, I meant users with those stupid googles on.

I detest Facebook.

Blogger YIH September 24, 2017 1:13 PM  

Elocutioner wrote:Zuckerberg Mark One.
You ain't the only one who thinks that.
And considering: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-09-06/zuckerberg-admits-facebook-conspired-russians-tank-hillarys-campaign
Apparently, after digging through advertising data for the better part of full year now, Facebook felt compelled to let us know that they found a 'staggering' $50,000 worth of ad buys that 'MAY' have been purchased by Russian-linked accounts to run 'potentially politically related' ads.

No really, Facebook, a $500 billion company, actually thinks that $50,000 worth of ad revenue is news and quite literally could have changed the course of American history.

Of course, if that kind of influence can be purchased for a mere $50,000 then Procter and Gamble needs to drastically rethink their advertising strategy.

We already know he considers us ''stupid goyim''.

Blogger Rick September 24, 2017 1:21 PM  

Zuckerborg doesn't have the Talent Stack (as Scott Adams coined it) he needs to be president. To be fair, no one has one like Trump. He hadn't fought the government to really build anything (real) every step of the way his whole career (as GE did) and he's only ever had one good idea. Plus, ZB is only one molecule more appealing than Hillary. Give that time.
I've literally never seen the recluse speak. I'll bet most voters haven't.

Blogger LP9 September 24, 2017 1:26 PM  

YIH, love your comments! Peace Sir.

Sad Zuck or elites don't consider much else, still hope their IPO fails.

Something my RCC priest friend says to trigger people; I asked about the tribes/OT and my priest said, "The child I baptized, we are all Jewish, so goys and whatevers dont matter, mere rhetoric, bet on God and roll the die."

He also said God understand drug use and self harm so...

Muh Russia is going to on the back burner for the NFL burning down, ESPN will be freaking out tomm along with the users whom were called by Zuck, "dumb expletive users" will be chirping about the NFL kneeling matter.

SJW do lie, DD and ruin everything; our men want to watch the darn game! Praise God, Bravo POTUS, Praise Keky.

Blogger LP9 September 24, 2017 1:30 PM  

Few understand the immense loss of life over this past summer in terror, storms etc., parents are walking past their child's empty bedrooms, their children and family are never coming back.

Of course its a joke but Zuck to host of people do in fact believe the are demigods until they are struck down in their insolence and wickedness.

Blogger Elizabeth September 24, 2017 1:31 PM  

I checked Zuck's Facebook page and, not surprisingly, he supports DACA and the "Dreamers."

Anonymous VFM #6306 September 24, 2017 1:43 PM  

Well didn't he gay marry a DACA Dream"girl?"

Blogger Were-Puppy September 24, 2017 2:06 PM  

@47 VFM #6306
Well didn't he gay marry a DACA Dream"girl?"
---

Well, he is a "Trans" humanist :P

Blogger Elocutioner September 24, 2017 2:29 PM  

@YIH I was just riffing off the android meme, that was an easy one. TGE will be merciless.

Anonymous grrf September 24, 2017 2:46 PM  

Ha! He "made his driver pull over."

Blogger beerme September 24, 2017 2:48 PM  

hello fellow humans

Anonymous grrf September 24, 2017 2:48 PM  

I posted too soon (before I realized it wasn't real). :(

Anonymous A Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents September 24, 2017 3:13 PM  

@52 grrf

Have a Mentoes.

Anonymous fop September 24, 2017 3:57 PM  

https://kek.gg/i/_-rDC.png

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( i'm sorry you raped Andrea Dworkin and i disavow your Patriarchal Cisheteronormative Bourgeois Consciousness in shame ) September 24, 2017 4:12 PM  

FrankNorman September 24, 2017 9:48 AM
No one could really be that insane.


https://infogalactic.com/info/Ed_Gein

https://infogalactic.com/info/Gary_Ridgway#Murders

https://infogalactic.com/info/Jeffrey_Dahmer

https://infogalactic.com/info/Mayer_Amschel_Rothschild

Anonymous Godfrey September 24, 2017 4:34 PM  

Fuck Zuck.

Blogger weka September 24, 2017 5:06 PM  

I don't do bestiality, aliens included.

Blogger YIH September 24, 2017 5:10 PM  

Well good for the Vikes, it means a team that has a chance at the playoffs and defeated a team that made it to the playoffs, went to the NFC Championship and won it, and defeated the Raiders in the only game that matters.
While last year broke the Super Bowl cherry, I don't think the Vikes will be the second team to play in their home stadium for the Championship.

Blogger YIH September 24, 2017 6:06 PM  

This is a surprise! The Titans are not only holding their own against the the Seahawks, they're currently leading!

Blogger Dave September 24, 2017 6:37 PM  

Does Zuck even watch football? I doubt he cares. He'd be a fake fan like Obama was a fake White Sox fan.

Anonymous A Most Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents September 24, 2017 7:37 PM  

I knew what it was by the 5th sentence. Bloated but no maggots?

Fake Texas roadkill.

Blogger Were-Puppy September 24, 2017 10:14 PM  

Here is someones take at a meme with Zuck
https://i.imgflip.com/1wgp4u.jpg

Anonymous Mr. Rational September 25, 2017 2:18 AM  

tuberman wrote:Will the Chinese take him in and hide him when things go South, as ya know he is intuitively thinking past Israel?
I doubt he'll live that long.  Angry geeks have too many ways to take him out, and I'm just an IQ-150 highwit; the 170+ superwits have already come up with schemes I will barely be able to comprehend in retrospect.  The only reason Zuckerberg lives is that, insulated from reality as most of them are, they haven't realized that his death is necessary.  It'll only take one.

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