Monday, December 11, 2017

This may amuse only me

According to Google:
  • I would appear to have coined the term Mary Suewalker to describe whatever the female Luke stand-in featured in the latest Star Wars trilogy is called.
  • There are at least 16 women on Facebook named Mary Sue Walker.
Now I'm sorely tempted to introduce a character named Mary Suewalker into Faraway Wars.



Blogger Desdichado December 11, 2017 8:01 AM  

I was actually going to ask about Faraway Wars and what the schedule looks like for it. On the eve of another Star Wars release, it seems like a timely question.

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother December 11, 2017 8:11 AM  


Anonymous JAG December 11, 2017 8:15 AM  

Surprising. It was exceedingly difficult to come up with a name for an LLC. A name based on fairly common names having not been previously coined is rare.

Anonymous JAG December 11, 2017 8:18 AM  

To add to my last post, this is also why we see such odd pharmaceutical names for new drugs. They have to be using an agglutination algorithm to randomly merge syllables.

Anonymous Causal Lurker December 11, 2017 8:26 AM  

Introduce the character. For more lolz, make her the latest secret queen in a matriarchy of some truly messed-up planet or minor star realm.


The sequence uses transfinite numbers. Only females get the throne, because Grrl Power. When an effeminate male must be defined female until it produces a daughter, there can be no question that it's Grrl Rules.

(Breaks out in Palpatine-style laughter at the thought of Mary Suewalker in the first instance)

Blogger Brian Niemeier December 11, 2017 8:28 AM  

Now I'm sorely tempted to introduce a character named Mary Suewalker into Faraway Wars.

Blogger Iskander Magnus December 11, 2017 8:38 AM  

Mary SieuWalker-- nobody is called that

Anonymous JAG December 11, 2017 8:40 AM  

Mary Siouxwalker

Anonymous Steve Canyon December 11, 2017 8:41 AM  

Sheyneynay Skywalker.

You know it's coming....

Blogger Iskander Magnus December 11, 2017 8:42 AM  

Cultural appropriation alert. Fauxahontas

Blogger xavier December 11, 2017 8:47 AM  


Sounds like a fun thing to do and provoke the social justice fools to squeal.And to exasperate them even more why not call her Mariam Skywalker? Add cultural appropriate to the mix

Blogger Iskander Magnus December 11, 2017 8:49 AM  

How would you see Mariam's concerned face ??

Blogger Sebastian Hawks December 11, 2017 8:54 AM  

I have zero interest in any Star Wars movies these days. Wasting several hours of my life sitting through those dismal prequels killed it. Looking back in retrospect, it's clear the thing ran out of steam already by Return of the Jedi where the writing was already so unoriginal they rehashed the Death Star, turned Leia into Luke's Sister in a Soap Opera cringe plot, and gave us a planet full of Teddy Bears. The only thing I have any interest is the original, very first movie where Vader was clearly NOT written to be Luke's father and I won't see that until we get a High Definition release of the REAL 1977 Theatrical Release without all that CGI junk thrown in decades later that ruined it. Also without that stupid "Episode 4 A New Hope" crap that looks retarded.

Anonymous Ominous Cowherd December 11, 2017 8:57 AM  

Iskander Magnus wrote:How would you see Mariam's concerned face ??

From a great distance, ideally.

Anonymous CarpeOro December 11, 2017 8:57 AM  

Hopefully there will be a Naboo correction planet where the palace and portion of the city they show are actually a Potemkin village area (maintained by highly paid off-world contractors under the nominal supervision of local female engineers). The rest of the planet outside of the Gungin areas would show the decaying remains of a once great civilization. The decay will have started after the implementation of the law that their head of state would always be a young woman, elected to the position (based on the idea they were less inclined to violence and repression). The asteroid miners would indeed be in revolt, being primarily composed of men in a high-risk occupation and unwilling to pay the tax for having women under represented in their profession.

Blogger Jew613 December 11, 2017 9:03 AM  

Please, oh please do it.

Blogger Carlos Carrasco December 11, 2017 9:11 AM  

Do it!

Blogger VD December 11, 2017 9:12 AM  

it's clear the thing ran out of steam already by Return of the Jedi where the writing was already so unoriginal they rehashed the Death Star, turned Leia into Luke's Sister in a Soap Opera cringe plot, and gave us a planet full of Teddy Bears.

(nods) I was SO disappointed with The Return of the Jedi. In retrospect, I found pretty much everything after Hoth to be a letdown. I never liked Yoda or the Dagobah interlude.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( Real Men correct Nate ... 's ... speeling ◕‿◕ ... ◔ ⌣ ◔ ... ◕‿↼ Passive Aggressively ) December 11, 2017 9:30 AM  


it's hardly a Star Wars movie without a Derp Star blowing up at the end.

Blogger Joshua_D December 11, 2017 9:40 AM  

Mary S. Walker

Blogger Tino December 11, 2017 9:51 AM  

Do it. We would be more than amused.

Anonymous Just another commenter December 11, 2017 10:27 AM  

I like the 1/64th indian ancestry one mentioned in @8.

Is she going to be Rod Walker's sister?

Blogger Revelation Means Hope December 11, 2017 10:28 AM  

With a title like "Faraway Wars", you may also throw in a Shrek cameo at some point, as well. Ah, maybe no, since this will be in book format and cameos are better as visual events.

A Mary Sue character could have Maxi-chlorians, instead of midi-chlorians, giving her extra grlll power. But only for a few days a month, you know.

Blogger Revelation Means Hope December 11, 2017 10:35 AM  

By the way, how in the world do you parody the horribly cheesy dialogue? Take it into the direction of Shakespeare?

The prequels especially were cringe worthy, the only decent dialogue belonged to Han Solo.

Anonymous John VI December 11, 2017 11:12 AM  

Elizabeth siouxwalker?

Blogger Silly but True December 11, 2017 12:11 PM  

Elizabeth Siouxwalker: The second coming of the First People's divine savior of the world, prophecied to come to wash away toxic Western values and embodied in the avatar of a white Caucasian woman with high cheekbones.

Anonymous szIlk December 11, 2017 12:57 PM  


Blogger Tyler Wollmann December 11, 2017 3:04 PM  

Yes, but it gave us Palpatine force lightning.

Anonymous Tipsy December 11, 2017 4:43 PM  

OT, but hopefully interesting. In the following link there's a translation of an internal letter from the USSR People’s Commissar for State Security to L.P. Beria on the preparation of atomic bomb test in the United States. The long and short of it was that the Soviet Union had, in the 40s, people so highly placed in the Manhattan Project that the NKGB knew essentially everything they needed to know about the first atomic weapon before it was exploded.

Who says the anti-Communist atmosphere in the 40s and 50s was excessive?

Anonymous Man of the Atom December 11, 2017 5:08 PM  

Vox is the Lathe of Heaven.

Blogger dvdivx December 11, 2017 6:26 PM  

But is Mary Suewalker a transsexual transracist?

Anonymous Marvin Boggs December 11, 2017 7:06 PM  

Please do include her.

I've been considering the past two Star Wars movies, in light of the Hype Reawakening. I've concluded that since I cannot actually recall the names of the main characters, the movies are not very compelling.

They really should have left well enough alone and left us with three movies. We should have seen trouble brewing when they introduced the Ewoks in the third original.

I'll be interested to see how things go when the movie opens.

Anonymous Post Alley Crackpot December 11, 2017 8:43 PM  

Yes yes, but what about Kilo Cocainewalker, Cuban Humidor, Armsdealer Huckster, Supreme Reefer Smoke, and so on? :-)

More to the point, is your next SJW book going to be a comedy in the form of a Noo Star Whores parody? That would have been quite the thing for the holidays.

Blogger สุรวัฒน์ ทองค้ำฟ้า December 11, 2017 11:17 PM  

Thank you for the posts. This article is very useful.
Thank you very much.

Blogger Akulkis December 12, 2017 4:37 AM  

Who says the anti-Communist atmosphere in the 40s and 50s was excessive?"

(((Communists))) and (((the entertainment and fake-news media sector))), of course.

Blogger Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club December 12, 2017 3:29 PM  

gave us a planet full of Teddy Bears

But those were badass Teddy Bears what captured and hog tied all our "heroes" (except The Only Girl In The Galaxy, of course), including a full-power, no BS Jedi, AND defeated the Emperor's best legions, all with nothing more advanced than Neolithic tools.

Which is why Return sucked so extravagantly.

Anonymous Gclub December 13, 2017 4:25 AM  

There are at least 16 women on Facebook named Mary Sue Walker.
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