ALL BLOG POSTS AND COMMENTS COPYRIGHT (C) 2003-2018 VOX DAY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION IS EXPRESSLY PROHIBITED.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

We've been here before

What a surprise! The initial word of mouth for the new Star Wars film is spectacular! Again!
The Force is strong with this one.

The first reviews are in for Star Wars: The Last Jedi — and everybody is blown away.
The world premiere of the eighth chapter in the Skywalker saga, directed by Rian Johnson, took place in Hollywood on Saturday night.

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi is everything. Intense, funny, emotional, exciting. It’s jam-packed with absolutely jaw dropping moments and I loved it so, so much. I’m still shaking,' wrote Gizmodo's Germain Lussier.

'I can’t believe The Last Jedi exists. @rianjohnson is a madman and I love him for it. He takes Star Wars to the edge and throws it over. What a crazy, awesome movie. We’ll be talking about this one for a long, long time.'
Sure we will. Having been a Star Wars fanatic turned hater by The Phantom Menace, I have not seen a Star Wars movie since. But I do take sadistic pleasure in the observing the usual process of a new release in the series.
  1. OMG! It's the BEST since EMPIRE!
  2. Okay, maybe we got a little carried away. But it's still really good!
  3. Well, I mean, it's all right.
  4. Actually, there are a lot of things that don't make any sense.
  5. And are pretty lame, come to think of it.
  6. This movie sucks.
  7. Now, what was the second one called? No, the second of the new ones, not the prequels.
The fact that SJWs are hell-bent on talking up Mary Suewalker and the ambiguously gay interracial duo only exacerbates this phenomenon.

The LA Times Jen Yamato claimed: 'StarWars: The Last Jedi is so beautifully human, populist, funny, and surprising. I cried when one POC heroine got her moment because films like these leave their mark on entire generations -- and representation matters.'

You don't say.... All that being said, I would genuinely enjoy it if they follow the color-by-numbers approach so closely that Luke cuts off Mary Suewalker's hand before he reveals that he was the sperm donor for the interracial lesbian couple who were murdered by racist Nazi stormtroopers, leaving her an orphan.

Labels: ,

140 Comments:

Anonymous Icicle December 10, 2017 4:42 PM  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_iSQ65ZDAE

George Lucas exposed.

Anonymous Napoleon 12pdr December 10, 2017 4:44 PM  

And you thought J.J. Abrams was capable of writing a decent script? Something original?

I need to get off my duff and write the space opera I've been plotting.

Anonymous Chris December 10, 2017 4:47 PM  

It's going to be a rehash of Empire Strikes Back, but you know, (((corrected))). Its fame is ill-gotten and undeserved, pillaged from a better film and claimed deceitfully as its own. Damn Disney and the culture-wrecking parasites that infest it.

Blogger Michael Maier December 10, 2017 4:52 PM  

Has Disney ever improved anything other than the story for the old animated SLEEPING BEAUTY?

Anonymous Looking Glass December 10, 2017 4:53 PM  

Did the Gizmodo writer just pull a "literally shaking"? HAHA. Wow.

The 3rd Prequel isn't as terrible as the first two, but the 2nd is just BAD. Though leaving The Phantom Menace on the saber fight was enjoyable, the first time. It's gets worse if you rewatch it.

Also, I'm completely down with the Darth Jar Jar Theory.

Blogger Thucydides December 10, 2017 4:57 PM  

I actually was excited looking at the teaser trailer for "The Force Awakens" when Luke intones:

"The Force is strong in my family. My father had it. I have it. My sister has it. [b]You have that power too.....[/b]"

Imagine if they had taken *that* idea as the foundation of the new stories......

Blogger Michael Maier December 10, 2017 4:59 PM  

"Also, I'm completely down with the Darth Jar Jar Theory."

My gut says that was supposed to happen and Lucas wussed out.

Blogger Thanks, J. December 10, 2017 4:59 PM  

No more Star Wars.
Reject this SJW Disney Diversity abomination.
Tell others.
Paying to see Disney Star Wars is an act of shameful cuckoldry.

Blogger 1337kestrel December 10, 2017 5:01 PM  

Rogue One is good.

I wouldn’t recommend Episode 7 so much, although it’s fine if you want some brainless FX fare.

Blogger Dire Badger December 10, 2017 5:02 PM  

Thanks, J. wrote:No more Star Wars.

Reject this SJW Disney Diversity abomination.

Tell others.

Paying to see Disney Star Wars is an act of shameful cuckoldry.


almost as bad as paying to see Disney Marvel movies.

Anonymous Man of the Atom December 10, 2017 5:04 PM  

Andrew Kwan's re-edit of the three prequels (3 movies boiled down to a turgid two-hour film) had about 5 minutes from "Phantom Menace". That 5 minutes was about all that was of value--even that is questionable in some quarters.

Anonymous Looking Glass December 10, 2017 5:04 PM  

An interesting aspect of "Star Wars" is it released a little over 30 years after the end of WW2. That was a society where the Men that won that war were in their 40s & 50s. The story line of the "farm boy goes to War and Wins" makes a lot more sense in a world where there's a couple of million Men that can relate to that story line.

What, precisely, can they touch on for anyone to relate to that's actually accomplished anything?

Also, the problem with any attempt for a female protagonist & the hero's journey is they can never fail, at least to be accepted in Leftist society. That's what always forces the Mary Sue aspect. She can't fail, so her "plot armor" becomes complete.

Anonymous Casual Observer December 10, 2017 5:05 PM  

I for one support gay non white interracial love. It makes a nice change from forcing the white woman onto the black man. It will also be interesting to see how many hispanic and black audience members are disgusted by this

Anonymous BBGKB December 10, 2017 5:06 PM  

The fact that SJWs are hell-bent on talking up Mary Suewalker and the ambiguously gay interracial duo only exacerbates this phenomenon

http://www.towleroad.com/2017/12/gay-star-wars/ " romance to bud between Poe and John Boyega’s character Finn in an upcoming episode"

OT: Last years jewing of Christmas was Santa approving of tranny kids, now check out the reviews for "GAYNIGGER Clause"
https://www.queerty.com/people-fainting-childrens-book-featuring-gay-black-santa-written-jewish-man-20171014

Anonymous Steve December 10, 2017 5:08 PM  

I finally saw about half-to-thirds of The Star Track Awakens recently because I have a little boy who likes the robot character BB King and demands to see it on Netflix.

I really don't know what the fuss is about.

Bargain Bin Keira Knightley couldn't act her way out of a damp paper bag. She's not terrible, she's quite pretty in a boobless, definitely-check-her-ID sort of way, but teeters on the verge of being insufferable for the entire film.

D'Shawn the Stormtrooper is a bag of meh too. Apart from being incredibly sweaty and spazzing out because someone gets a tiny bit of blood on his helmet (so much for the training at stormtrooper school), he's a completely forgettable and redundant character.

Dago Han Solo - gay.

Actual Han Solo - cuts a pathetic figure, still dressed like he did in the 70's even though he looks about 90 now. At least his dog is still alive but even he doesn't look happy.

Dork Helmet - Terrible. I felt like cringing whenever he flew into an infantile rage. They lampshade his difficulty enunciating through his breathing mask early on in the film, but that doesn't forgive the fact I could only make out about 2 words out of 3 - at best. James Earl Jones' elocution teacher wept.

Grand Moff Rick Astley - I didn't believe for a second that this pissy ginger nerd was some sort of badass leader of men. He came across more like a peevish assistant manager at PC World.

Carrie Fisher - they did a good job on the CGI to make her look slightly under 300 lbs.

Gollum - dunno why he was even in this film.

Orange Female Mr Magoo Yoda - I don't remember anything she said or did, because I was distracted by the way her eyes look like they're set in puckered bumholes.

The usual teevee sci fi worldbuilding credibility problems exist. In Star Force's case, we're supposed to believe that these people live in a society which has mastered cheap, easy faster-than-light travel, AI, and antigravity. Fine. But why, then, does everyone seem to be poor?

Overall I give The Last Starfighter Awakens two light-phasers out of five. It's apparently entertaining enough for preschoolers, but only for about 20 minutes until they decide to do something more amusing such as trying to shoot the cat with a nerf gun. The new characters are all garbage except for BB King, and he's just R2D2 after eating too many robo-carbs.

Blogger James Dixon December 10, 2017 5:08 PM  

> Paying to see Disney Star Wars is an act of...

Paying to see anything by Disney supports the enemy. Now, if you want to rent the DVD or Blu-Ray from your local library or some such...

Anonymous FP December 10, 2017 5:08 PM  

I had a brief hope in TFA that han would shoot first as it were and stab darth emo.

An excellent takedown of TFA:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes

Anonymous Patron December 10, 2017 5:08 PM  

1337kestrel wrote:Rogue One is good.

Rogue One isn't bad (I've re-watched it a couple of times, for what it's worth), but with its grey rather than black and white morality it's not really a Star Wars movie in that it's not superversive like the originals were. My feeling is that it'll outlast this new trilogy, but then I'm not sure that'll be a very high bar to clear.

I used to wish that they'd do a movie with Grand Admiral Thrawn in it, perhaps based on Timothy Zahn's old "Thrawn Trilogy", but under the circumstances I'm not sure I could bear to see the best of the EU despoiled by the SJW Wars people.

Anonymous Avalanche December 10, 2017 5:18 PM  

@15 "which has mastered cheap, easy faster-than-light travel, AI, and antigravity. Fine. But why, then, does everyone seem to be poor?"

Well SOMEBODY has to pay for all that fuel!

Blogger Michael Maier December 10, 2017 5:21 PM  

ROGUE ONE was boring. Damn boring. No likable characters. No interesting scenes. When I don't care when every protagonist dies, that's a bad film.

And it pisses on continuity yet again. What plausible deniability does Leia have in EPI 4's opening after Vader catches up with the getaway vehicle from the battle?

Blogger OGRE December 10, 2017 5:21 PM  

What I don't understand is how these 20-30 year olds go absolutely nuts over anything Star Wars. Are they being unintentionally ironic? I was 6 in 1980 when we saw Empire in the theater and I remember that experience vividly. Star Wars dominated my child hood. But I sure as fuck didn't flip my lid when the prequels came out, and I'm not going apeshit over anything from this new batch either. But I see 25 year olds gushing like schoolgirls, as if they've undergone some transformative religious experience...over a pop culture franchise. This one is 'literally shaking.' I see others that are literally crying. What gives? How can these shitty movies drive millennials into fits of hysteria?

It has to be an act right? Some form of cultural virtue signaling?

Blogger OGRE December 10, 2017 5:23 PM  

@20 Yup. I actually dozed off for a few when we saw it in the theater. Theres about 60 seconds of cool stuff in that whole movie. The rest is nothing.

Anonymous Patron December 10, 2017 5:27 PM  

Michael Maier wrote:And it pisses on continuity yet again. What plausible deniability does Leia have in EPI 4's opening after Vader catches up with the getaway vehicle from the battle?

Absolutely none, but I guess I've a higher tolerance for plot holes like that :P .

Anonymous Looking Glass December 10, 2017 5:28 PM  

Actually, ultra-cheap FTL would drive down costs so far we'd get Globalism on a Galactic Scale.

Actually, I think I might have just made an argument for Palpatine being correct to make himself Emperor. He clearly had large support from significant branches because the Galacticist trade policies of the Republic was pillaging the outer rim worlds and transferring wealth to the central Planets.

The problem is he wanted too much control, much like any other revolutionary.

Anonymous Looking Glass December 10, 2017 5:29 PM  

@21 OGRE

It's an act. Like all of this sudden "good looking women that like comic books". Remember, almost no one reads comic books.

Blogger Thanks, J. December 10, 2017 5:31 PM  

Rogue One sucked.
not as much as one of the worst movies of all time, The Force Awakens, but Rogue One sucked.
Here's a treat for you, dear reader. This review- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsDtND60qB8 -you need to watch (and the only good thing about Disney Star Wars is the golden opportunity it gives people to make inspired, hilarious content that brilliantly shows how bad Disney Star Wars in fact really is).
Also, see his 2.2 million viewed take down of TFA.

Anonymous Casual Observer December 10, 2017 5:37 PM  

@11: I might have to watch that next weekend. I have always wanted to see the Topher Grace edit. I did try the machete version but the movies are too unwatchable for that too work.

Topher needs to release the outline of his edit so others can copy it. There is nothing in copyright law about giving detailed instructions on how you would edit 3 movies into 1 so far as I know.

Blogger Dave December 10, 2017 5:42 PM  

such as trying to shoot the cat with a nerf gun.

Difficult for any movie to hold a kid's attention for long when this activity is an option.

Blogger IrishFarmer December 10, 2017 5:42 PM  

Eh hate to be contrarian but Rogue One actually managed to be worse than episode 7. The acting was worse, story more boring, characters less interesting, fan service more shameless. Just awful.

Anonymous Alice De Goon December 10, 2017 5:55 PM  

The first Star Wars movie was a watershed moment in Geek Culture. I believe I heard at least one goon movie reviewer call it the "Foundational Creation Myth for an entire Generation of Nerds." It's the moment when nerd purchasing power and cultural influence finally became recognized by the mainstream. Dazzling visuals and rollicking new adventure stories weren't a new thing by the time Star Wars rolled around, but combining that with a new and powerful youth market, an evolution in special effects and a heartfelt retelling of the timeless and iconic Hero's Journey, raised Star Wars to the status of Cult Object.

You also can't forget that the date that the first Star Wars movie came out (1977) was also a time of cultural and economic stagnation. Kids grew up in affluent households, but thanks to offshoring and the destruction of high-paying, low skill jobs, those same kids knew they would never do as well as their fathers had. And those same kids also knew that they would never have in adulthood, the kind of coddling and attention that their mothers had lavished on them as kids. Star Wars became not only a validation of Nerd Culture, but an escape from an increasingly harsh reality. To many of the 30 year old geeks sitting in theaters today, clutching their plastic light-sabers and giggling as they watch Star Wars XVII: The Search for More Money, Star Wars IS Childhood. Star Wars is sitting in the backyard during the summer, playing with their action figures while Mom bakes a Banana Cream Pie. Star Wars IS all of their underdog, Secret-King Gamma Fantasies come to life. When they go to a Star Wars movie or buy a piece of Star Wars merchandise, they're buying into that fantasy, they're buying into the dopamine rush, the way a heroin addict buys his next hit.

It's no coincidence that Disney paid the Moon for this franchise. Anyone who controls this mythology, also controls those who adhere to it, like a cult leader promising their followers Heaven if they just hand over their money and devotion. The only bright spot in all of this is that Disney is eventually going to milk that franchise dry and fill it so full of POZ that eventually no one will want to go see it. Social Justice destroys everything it converges, and eventually Star Wars will be no exception.

My hope is that 100 years from now, when someone mentions Star Wars, they'll only think of the Original Trilogy. - Three fairly decent Adventure movies based on the Hero's Journey with a nicely sewn-up plot arc. Most everything else labelled Star Wars (apart from some decent EU writing and maybe that one weird but good Boba Fett Cartoon) will be completely forgotten.

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 10, 2017 5:57 PM  

All that being said, I would genuinely enjoy it if they follow the color-by-numbers approach so closely that Luke cuts off Mary Suewalker's hand before he reveals that he was the sperm donor for the interracial lesbian couple who were murdered by racist Nazi stormtroopers, leaving her an orphan.

Sounds like MANSPLAINING. Here's how it would really go down.

1. Mary Sue cuts off Luke's other hand.
2. Mary Sue reveals the plot point, which she learned through a combination of precocious STEM talent and women's intuition.
3. Mary Sue browbeats Luke for another 30 minutes for being a deadbeat dad, then takes away his lightsaber.

Blogger Nate December 10, 2017 6:00 PM  

Just a reminder. Star wars has never not been progressive.

Anonymous Locke December 10, 2017 6:00 PM  

Steve,

That was fantastic. Is that original?

Blogger JACIII December 10, 2017 6:01 PM  

Long live Emperor Palpatine! Crush the rebel scum!

Blogger cavalier973 December 10, 2017 6:03 PM  

I'd say that the Mary Poppins movie was superior to the book.

Blogger OGRE December 10, 2017 6:03 PM  

@26 thats a good one. I prefer the Mr. Plinket/RedLetterMedia reviews.

And you're quite right. The most entertaining thing Star Wars is responsible for now is the criticism it invokes. Some of the reviews are downright brilliant.

Blogger B.B. December 10, 2017 6:07 PM  

The top 1000 voters on IMDb currently rate it 2.5/10

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2527336/ratings

Anonymous Casual Observer December 10, 2017 6:08 PM  

@11 From the link "The payoff of his transition to the dark side would have been all the more shocking if he was a humble, troubled (but well-meaning) ex-slave from Tatooine who never let fame get to his head."

This is the one thing the prequels had to do. Now Luke's temptation to the dark side doesn't seem so farfetched because he is not so different from his father. Take away Anakin's slavery and make him just a farm boy and their story starts to parallel. Take away the sibling relationship between Luke and Leia and have Luke lose out to Han for Leia's love and we have a very good parallel story. Then have this condensed prequel between eps V and VI and the tension is set up perfectly.

Blogger Otto Lamp December 10, 2017 6:11 PM  

90% of Star Wars fans are male. Probably 80% of Star Wars fans are white males. So who do they make the hero? Star Wars has gone from an underdog guy saves the universe to "you go girl".

Luke was actually the perfect hero for the nerd-generation. A guy with skills--hidden and known--yet unappreciated. Probably how a lot of nerdy guys feel.

Are these guys going to appreciate "you go girl" Star Wars?

If you think Star Wars can't be screwed up, just look at what DC has done to its characters in the movies. "Justice League" should have kickstarted a series of films. It looks like it may be a one off.

It won't be Star Wars burnout that kills the franchise. It will be Star Wars WTF.

Blogger Koanic December 10, 2017 6:14 PM  

The Force is the bad red one. The blue has been rebranded The Orifice.

Blogger Noah B The Savage Gardener December 10, 2017 6:19 PM  

@37 And 5.6/10 for US voters vs. 8.6/10 for non-US voters. Americans are sick of SJW crap.

Anonymous Ain December 10, 2017 6:22 PM  

"I cried when one POC heroine got her moment because films like these leave their mark on entire generations -- and representation matters.'"

This is definitely shill-speak. I wonder what she got in return.

Anonymous MaskettaMan December 10, 2017 6:29 PM  

I guess you had to be there... The original movies put me to sleep. And every time a new one comes out, the end of the merchandizing onslaught is postponed another 15 years.

Blogger Hunsdon December 10, 2017 6:34 PM  

My favorite Star Wars story starts off, "The galaxy is a dumpster fire."

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 10, 2017 6:42 PM  

Star Wars is a prisoner of it's own history


Now I actually do appreciate that it would have been difficult to tell the Rogue One story without Grand Moff Tarkin.

Krennic needed a superior he could be berated by and Tarikin was by the best fit for that job. You don't have to build up a new character, there is an economy of story telling in using Wilhuf Tarkin. Fine.

But why didn't they recast the part? Just hire a new actor. Answer: Star Wars is too hide bound by it's own history to allow for that.

The sad part was that they insisted on shoving CGI Tarkin in our faces when a few film school tricks would have covered up what they were doing quite a bit better. Tarkin talking to a window with his reflected face thus obscured. Tarkin communicating via a hologram, thus accounting very nicely for the digital appearance. Orders relayed audio only. Those would have worked as well as being respectful to the memory of Peter Cushing. A few fan boys are all agog over the CGI performance and are insisting that it was much better than it actually was and you know what? I would still loath it if it was dead solid perfect because that wasn't Peter Cushing.

Actors are artists too. Their work is their intellectual property (after a fashion). Their lives inform their roles and add texture to their performances. The man who played Wiluf Tarkin had known war, early success, career failure, the crushing death of his wife of thirty years. All of those things were somewhere in the sad brown eyes of Peter Cushing when his character orders the destruction of Alderraan. The computer that mimicked him brought none of that to the party.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan December 10, 2017 6:52 PM  

Probably should just mirror our GWOT an empire with a policeman role ran by emotional nutcases for the benefit of oligarchs goes wild, run credits.

Blogger Brad Matthews December 10, 2017 6:54 PM  

I like how "literally shaking" and "literally crying" literally don't actually mean doing either. Pathetic. It's "literally" a mental illness.

Anonymous Looking Glass December 10, 2017 6:55 PM  

@45 Cataline Sergius

They had no reason to put the face of Tarkin in the film. Shoot him as something of a menacing presence over Krennic. This is some really easy film-making work arounds. They did it because they wanted to and, likely, had a very different cut of the film he appeared a lot more in.

Anonymous Roundtine December 10, 2017 6:55 PM  

Any character with a British accent is a villain. Darth Emo spent the time inbetween movie 1 and 2 reading all of roissyindc archives and he's going to unleash the PUA force aka the tingles.

Anonymous karsten December 10, 2017 6:58 PM  

"The Last Jedi is so beautifully human, populist, funny, and surprising."

Populist.

I don't think they know what that word means.

(Or likelier, they know, and are attempting to co-opt it.)

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 10, 2017 6:59 PM  

Light saber fights.

Giant space battle with WWII strategy and tactics.

Something about destiny.


Yay me. I just wrote a Star Wars script.

Blogger Robert Pinkerton December 10, 2017 7:00 PM  

At the end of the reign of Bush II, I acccumulated all six of the original double-trilogy, on the used DVD market; it cost me less than thirty dollars all tolled. I binge-watched all six in sequence, several times during the first term of Mr. Obama, each time finding one or more fresh nits to pick. What finally snapped my coefficient of suspension of disbelief, was the anthropomorphization of their robots. I donated the whole shmear, parting forever without regret. When, eighteen months ago, a friend screened the disc of volume seven, I could not stop myself from saying, "I hope you didn't pay for this!"

Anonymous Valiant December 10, 2017 7:04 PM  

Any news on the star warsesque books?

Anonymous a deplorable rubberducky December 10, 2017 7:08 PM  

I was a huge Star Wars fan back in 1977, along with my dad who took me to see it. To us it didn't seem to reflect the malaise of the era, as noted upstream, but rather the opposite. Never before had something so breathtaking been seen on screen by us, as the THX sound system rocked our seats while the star destroyer thundered overhead, it was astonishing. Blew everybody away. This was a time where I wanted to be an astronaut, and nobody knew that our space program was actually dead as a doorknob yet. This was an exciting bit of futurism cast as a ancient and entertaining epic. Magnificent.

We stayed fans of it in my family, even as we grew to regret each prequel. My sons loved the Stars Wars universe and lore, as all boys do or seemed to at the time. Those are their own most favorite Star Wars memories -- not watching it on the big screen but playing it out in the backyard.

We've totally separated from the franchise now, like the stages of the Saturn V. Still fans of the idea, still with our treasured memories, but to my surprise last Christmas nobody wanted to go see Rogue One in the theater.

It was more fun to play Battlefront with each other at home.

Anonymous ComicFan December 10, 2017 7:09 PM  

Vox,
The train is fine...
But it isn't. Yet it is easier to pretend that it is. No where in life...work, extended family, church (rockstar fakeness) am I faced with it. I can pretend everything is awesome. I love X, Y, and Z. I have since I was a little boy. And yet you question, and then I question. With discernment, what I originally held dear was filler, and empty. But thats ok, I'll forgive that, I've lived with it as a part of me for 40 years. However to really think about how they took c+ mediocre world building that was pop culture, and have turned it into an abomination. That I can no longer ignore and it makes me sad. It is like the veil is torn and falling from the rafters and I hate you...but I love you. Keep up the fight.

Blogger bobby December 10, 2017 7:14 PM  

If Disney really had their way, they'd just say "screw this whole movie thing" and make the franchise into a ride.

No need for stories, plots, dialogue, characters - just visuals and sensation.

Heck, on these last few movies, they're already there anyway.

Blogger James Dixon December 10, 2017 7:16 PM  

> But why, then, does everyone seem to be poor?

The leadership are Democrats, obviously.

> There is nothing in copyright law about giving detailed instructions on how you would edit 3 movies into 1 so far as I know.

You could probably even give the cut points in some open source video editor format that would allow you to automate it. If not, one of the Ilk might want to tackle it.

Blogger Gloriam Deo December 10, 2017 7:18 PM  

bobby wrote:If Disney really had their way, they'd just say "screw this whole movie thing" and make the franchise into a ride.

No need for stories, plots, dialogue, characters - just visuals and sensation.

Heck, on these last few movies, they're already there anyway.


the difference is that i would actually pay for a ride.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 10, 2017 7:19 PM  

Looking Glass wrote:@45 Cataline Sergius

They had no reason to put the face of Tarkin in the film. Shoot him as something of a menacing presence over Krennic. This is some really easy film-making work arounds. They did it because they wanted to ...


@Looking Glass

I disagree. I think they did it because they HAD to.

Star Wars is completely stultified and decadent as a story setting. You can only make a Star Wars movie if it has space fighters, light sabers and anthropomorphised robots. It's ultimately very limited.

Credit where it's due, as much of an SJW shitfest as Star Trek and Doctor Who are, they are least capable of self-renewal.

Star Wars just isn't. They literally can't come up with anything new or their fans won't accept it.

Anonymous Napoleon 12pdr December 10, 2017 7:23 PM  

@54: Agree completely. The first two films were magnificent. Return of the Jedi was OK. The prequels...were junk.

Blogger Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club December 10, 2017 7:34 PM  

@15 - That review was more entertaining than anything in the series since that dirty tampon with legs popped out from under a fallen redwood.

Blogger Lovekraft December 10, 2017 7:40 PM  

J.J. Abrams's statement along the lines of 'we have to phase out anything white male related' is still fresh in my mind.

And that Bodega guy spewed the same sort of vitriol.

F Disney.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab December 10, 2017 7:59 PM  

The prequels stunk out loud. The force awakens was Mary Sue hell (it had potential but since the female lead can have no faults nor need a man it had no reason to be made). The character has nowhere to go. If they can't at least get near return of the Jedi quality they should pack it in.

Blogger AgentBJ December 10, 2017 7:59 PM  

I'll wait for E;R and Razorfist to cover this disguised political film. They are more trustworthy than anyone writing reviews for the major names we've grown to detest.

Blogger So Meh December 10, 2017 7:59 PM  

I saw Star Wars in 1977, as an eight year old...Best Movie Ever. Empire Strikes back. WOW. Who wouldn't want to jump in a Snowspeeder with Luke Skywalker and fight off those walking camels (AT-ATs). First half of Return of the Jedi...yep...still on a roll and then the over the top merchandise Ewoks and their chub, chub, chubbing plus a 2nd Death Star (?) drained some good will. The prequels were horrible. I didnt bother seeing the 3rd one in the theater. It wasn't until Peter Jackson's "Fellowship of the Ring" that some of that original movie Star Wars magic came back. Force Awakens was good. The Mary Sue Jedi was to be expected. Gay and Transgendered Jedi are next, but Disney has my $15 at least for the this coming movie. Taking my 82 year old Dad on Christmas Day, who took me and my sister 40 years ago. Merry Christmas Everyone.

Anonymous r.q.f. December 10, 2017 8:00 PM  

It's seems ubiquitous in the review press, in general, when it comes to postmodern entertainment drivel. You rarely see critics pan anything anymore, it's like every little thing that comes out is some great artistic achievement which we will all forget in a year.

Blogger Phat Repat December 10, 2017 8:04 PM  

I never understood the star wars fascination. It seemed so fake from the very first one.

Blogger Lovekraft December 10, 2017 8:06 PM  

@ 15 Steve:

I second 33 and 61, your comment was gold! The kekforce is strong in you.

There was a show called "Collection Interventio" about 10 years ago. Some hot chick goes to people's homes who have amazing collections of pop culture of one form or another. One episode is of a woman who have a big Star Wars figure collection that she ends up selling.

She was hesitant at first and when she finally decided to part with her favorite one she, wait for it, asked the host that it is going to a good home. Ugh.

Great show. A glimpse into the nerd collector life. One ep had a comic book collector nagged by his wife to sell his comics so they can buy a new dining room table to host their friends. He does, and at the end, the look on his face sitting alone at the table staring at where his comics used to be is priceless.

Blogger Man of the West December 10, 2017 8:11 PM  

The key to watching Star Wars with your kids is to tell them the truth: that, in reality, the monocultural and monoethnic/monoracial empire (ie. - white guys) are actually the good guys. At least that is what I learned after rewatching the movies as an adult.

Cheers,

MOTW
www.manofthewest.net

Anonymous JAG December 10, 2017 8:15 PM  

I also became a hater with Phantom Toddler, though the seeds of my turn to the dark side started when the Ewoks first show up.

As bad as the prequels were I could at least make it through each one once out of duty from childhood.

The current mess is so bad that it makes the prequels better in comparison, a task I thought impossible.

Even SJW Mark Hamill has not been kind to the writing in various interviews I've seen. He all but admits to doing this for a paycheck.

Anonymous Casual Observer December 10, 2017 8:17 PM  

@50 That's funny because according to the talking heads (in Australia at least) populism is a bad thing.

Anonymous Bellator Mortalis December 10, 2017 8:22 PM  

It illustrates a weakness in the concept of white nationalism. The weakness is that many whites are solidly in the camp of the Left. The SJWs, neckbeards, metrosexuals, deltas, secret king gammas, the narcissistic cock carousel white women. And this is not even including the (((whites))) who are what, maybe 3 percent of the population? Thinking that the anti-white identity politics of the Left will drive all these whites into the camp of the white nationalists is a fantasy. As long as they get their smart phones, internet, porn, and feminist culture, they will be HAPPY to be forelock tugging serfs.

Blogger Cecil Henry December 10, 2017 8:43 PM  

I loved the original Star Wars series, tolerated the 'prequels', and never touched the new series.

Not even if its free to see. ITs just been contaminated.

The fact that a POC is 'getting her representation' tells me enough to know this one is not worth looking at either.

Its truly amazing how blind the SJW's are.

Blogger Unknown December 10, 2017 8:53 PM  

The same sequels make the prequels look way better. Corporate formula for lightning in a bottle vs. bad writing from individual.

Anonymous JAG December 10, 2017 8:54 PM  

Bellator Mortalis wrote:It illustrates a weakness in the concept of white nationalism. The weakness is that many whites are solidly in the camp of the Left. The SJWs, neckbeards, metrosexuals, deltas, secret king gammas, the narcissistic cock carousel white women. And this is not even including the (((whites))) who are what, maybe 3 percent of the population? Thinking that the anti-white identity politics of the Left will drive all these whites into the camp of the white nationalists is a fantasy. As long as they get their smart phones, internet, porn, and feminist culture, they will be HAPPY to be forelock tugging serfs.

Marxism has a pretty good track record of not even being able to keep the bread and circuses going. Take a look at Venezuela for a current example.

Blogger Unknown December 10, 2017 8:54 PM  

I remember AT-ATs!

Blogger Phat Repat December 10, 2017 9:09 PM  

I would never lament how blind the SJWs are or any enemy for that matter. I enjoy the hole they are digging and am actively encouraging them to dig faster.

Anonymous Azimus December 10, 2017 9:38 PM  

If this movie were populist then it would be about Finn. This is a movie about "the chosen ones" and their normal pet Finn. Disney doesn't do populist.

Anonymous The Original Arrogant Steelers Fan December 10, 2017 9:40 PM  

"Mary Suewalker"

Well didn't that just win the weekend... and not a moment too soon... for the lolz...

Blogger Wolfman at Large December 10, 2017 9:44 PM  

The Marxist version of 'Bread and Circuses' involves a bunch of clowns beating you up and stealing your bread.

Anonymous MHa December 10, 2017 9:57 PM  

Jew Wars: Mary Sue Strikes Back SPOILERS...

Leaked Star Wars spoilers describe a background cosmology in which women are inherently superior to men, whose bitter jealously causes all the problems in the … everything.

“This very ancient tree was the first life form in the Star Wars galaxy, it was called the Mother Tree. The Tree gave birth to 2 humanoid creatures, a brother and sister. The sister was given the power to create life and she would think it up and release it into the sky where the “life force” would spread to other planets. *Brother was created to be her servant,* but he was jealous and one day fought her in order to make her submit to him. He killed her, but he was wounded in the battle, the Tree herself was also dying (as brother stole her life force to make himself eternal), but the Tree made a last prophecy that the sister would be reincarnated and *make brother submit to her* yet again in the future. Brother over eons eventually made technology to leave the planet on his own, and over the centuries he hid in the shadows.

It also is explained that the reincarnation MUST be a woman, since the pureness of the light side is feminine. Although males and females can tap into either the dark or light side, the pure dark side is always males, and the pure light side is always females. In the Last Jedi, Luke confers to Rey that he always thought that he would be the prophecised one, just as his father Anakin also thought the same of himself. But Luke then realizes the *true savior of the galaxy must be a woman.*

And yes, the above plot point was an idea of Kathleen Kennedy, she along with the other female assistants and co-producers made this a requirement for this and the last film in this trilogy.”

Because this is a Jew Jew Abrams joint, absolutely no thought was given to what that means in a fantasy universe densely diversified with non-human life forms.

The Dark Side of the Force is literally vagina envy.

Blogger Lazarus December 10, 2017 9:58 PM  

Alice De Goon wrote:The first Star Wars movie was a watershed moment in Geek Culture.

As I recall, it was the most pre-hyped movie in the history of cinema to that point. The hype was the watershed moment.

Blogger Ingot9455 December 10, 2017 10:19 PM  

The quote from Hamill, googleable online, is:

In a recent interview with the magazine, Hamill said he had a small conflict with director Rian Johnson. "I at one point had to say to Rian, 'I pretty much fundamentally disagree with every choice you’ve made for this character.'"
Still, Hamill is a professional, and he followed up voicing his disagreement with a courteous response. "'Now, having said that, I have gotten it off my chest, and my job now is to take what you’ve created and do my best to realize your vision,'" he reportedly told Johnson.

Not going to say Hamill knows how to direct, but it doesn't look good.

As for movie 7, I saw it and the big benefit was that I got to discuss it with an old college friend I see once every 5+ years.

He, being easily swayed by the media, complained about Captain Phasma, the female chrome stormtrooper trainer, rolling over so easy.

I said, "She kidnaps and tortures orphan children to brainwash them. It makes perfect sense that she immediately cowers when one of them gains power over her. That's one thing they got right."

Of course, because of those complaints, she'll be back for the next movie with some kind of goofy suckdog fight scene.

Blogger Silly but True December 10, 2017 10:40 PM  

I don't believe those spoilers. Under converged Disney, Star Wars wouldn't be allowed to be so discriminatory towards non-binary genderfluid otherkins.

Anonymous Cadwallander J December 10, 2017 10:41 PM  

Leaked Star Wars spoilers describe a background cosmology in which women are inherently superior to men, whose bitter jealously causes all the problems in the … everything.

Oh man, this is hilarious. It's a level of SJW doubling-down that, with proper instruments, will be recordable as distant as say - a galaxy far, far away. And if true, should effectively kill the franchise forever. Here's hoping it's truly this bad.

Anonymous JAG December 10, 2017 10:44 PM  

Wolfman at Large wrote:The Marxist version of 'Bread and Circuses' involves a bunch of clowns beating you up and stealing your bread.

It involves eating the emaciated circus animals since everyone is starving to death except the elite Marxists calling the shots. Funny how they seem to end up billionaires amidst the starvation, death, and decay.

By now there is enough historical evidence that a populace should immediately terminate any political leaders that admit to being a Marxist. Survival depends upon it.

Blogger tz December 10, 2017 10:54 PM  

"The Last Jedi". Promise?

Anonymous JAG December 10, 2017 10:59 PM  

JAG's Four Classes of Demons
----------------------------

Demons, contrary to mythology, are not supernatural spirits. They are a type of hominid. They inhabit human bodies, but they are not human.

Class 1: Knows they are a demon, but does not want to be one.

This type of demon knows what they are, but do not want to be one. They will even lead an exemplary life as long as they can hold out, but eventually their nature wins out, and they commit a horrible crime or two, then gets caught.

Class 2: Knows they are a demon, enjoys it, but tries to hide it for they know the consequences.

These are your serial killers. They enjoy it, but don't want to get caught. Kill totals usually in the less than 10 to over 30 range.

Class 3: Knows they are a demon, and ZFG if anyone else knows.

Here we find mass murderers and Islamic terrorists. Death tolls range from under 10 to several hundred. Death tolls in the thousands can be achieved by multiple class 3 demons working together.

Class 4: The Marxist leader.

This is by far the most dangerous demon of all as death tolls in the millions are the goal, and too often, the result. Mao is the champion of Class 4 demons.

This is an addendum to my post above referring to Marxist leaders that destroy nations while they loot the treasury.

Anonymous ZhukovG December 10, 2017 11:01 PM  

The only Star Wars I remotely enjoy now is the game, 'Star Wars, The Old Republic'. But only because it allows me to side with the Sith Empire and slaughter lots of SJW Jedi.

Blogger tz December 10, 2017 11:04 PM  

SJWs vandalize everything (add that as a law).
I'm waiting until they really redo the original trilogy to make it more PC. Hanna Polly. Greedo Capitalist. Leia and Luke switch. OBWan as... Who knows what. Darth Vader wears white (since he's evil). C3PO gets darker instead of the asian hue. R2D2 redone to look like a self-driving wheel chair. Chewbacca dyes himself rainbow. Feel free to add.

Blogger Lazarus December 10, 2017 11:24 PM  

JAG wrote:By now there is enough historical evidence that a populace should immediately terminate any political leaders that admit to being a Marxist. Survival depends upon it.

Change that to "leaders even remotely suspected of being Marxist" and I will agree.

Anonymous David of One December 10, 2017 11:26 PM  

At this point one shouldn't be surprised if Jar Jar turns out to be Mary's mother ... it's the futuristic past don't you know?

The fitting SJW end of the Jedi being Luke's lovechild.

Darth Sidious laughs across all time and space.

Anonymous David of One December 10, 2017 11:31 PM  

There are no good marxists ... dead or otherwise ...

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( Real Men correct Nate ... 's ... speeling ◕‿◕ ... ◔ ⌣ ◔ ... ◕‿↼ Passive Aggressively ) December 10, 2017 11:49 PM  

you're all racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic bigots.

for crying out loud, it's current year!

Anonymous Just Passing Through December 10, 2017 11:52 PM  

Jen Yamato? Dim Tamato.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 11, 2017 12:06 AM  

The fact that SJWs are hell-bent on talking up...the ambiguously gay interracial duo only exacerbates this phenomenon.

No, no. I'm quite certain Rey is supposed to be a woman... I'm reasonably certain Rey is supposed to be a woman.

Blogger Bobiojimbo December 11, 2017 12:06 AM  

I actually like the Prequals. I appreciate Phantom because they were still adhering to traditional sets in many places, puppeteering, and some practical affects while mixing in more CGI. Compared to Attack and Revenge where most of the set and more were CGI, Phantom has a certain charm even though it falls short.

Blogger Bobiojimbo December 11, 2017 12:10 AM  

The Rebels and the Empire talk it out, realize it's a big misunderstanding, and it ends in a pride parade.

Blogger Bobiojimbo December 11, 2017 12:18 AM  

I'm interested, who is E;R?

Anonymous Handsome Carl December 11, 2017 12:19 AM  

The original Flash Gordon serial was more entertaining than any of the ripoff Star Wars movies.

Blogger Ahärôwn December 11, 2017 12:22 AM  

Yeah - I lost interest after Disney bought out the franchise, although I still raid in SWTOR.

As soon as I heard Disney was buying, I thought to myself - I hope they don't screw it up.

Being Disney - they screwed it up.

Only thing I've bought since then is a legends novel by Timothy Zahn. Haven't watched anything post-Disney.

Anonymous Eli December 11, 2017 12:30 AM  

It sucks to see such a great franchise be milked to death and converged to such levels. Sad thing of course is that it will still make over a billion worldwide.

Blogger Tupla-J December 11, 2017 12:34 AM  

For some reason or other I never got the appeal of Star Wars that much. I've seen the original trilogy a couple of times and the Jar Jar Menace too, but that's it. I tried then to get what was so great about it that I was missing, but could not find anything. I still know people who fanatically follow the SW cult wherever it goes and can't help but wonder what's wrong with them.

I think the Return of the Jedi brought forth a disgust I haven't gotten over. I guess I really don't have to.

Blogger Resident Moron™ December 11, 2017 12:35 AM  

“you're all racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic bigots”

Well, duh.

Those are our good points

Blogger Resident Moron™ December 11, 2017 12:37 AM  

Truth be told?

I’m still wondering what the fuck is a hydrospanner?

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( Real Men correct Nate ... 's ... speeling ◕‿◕ ... ◔ ⌣ ◔ ... ◕‿↼ Passive Aggressively ) December 11, 2017 12:39 AM  

98. Bobiojimbo December 11, 2017 12:18 AM
I'm interested, who is E;R?



a lazy bastard who doesn't make near enough videos.

Anonymous Gen. Kong December 11, 2017 1:02 AM  

Return of the Jedi? You mean the Great Patriotic War for Planet Teddybear? It's been downhill ever since, despite everyone's fondness for Jar-Jar Binks.

Anonymous Alice De Goon December 11, 2017 1:08 AM  

@105. I'm waiting with bated breath for E;R's evisceration of the Korra comic books, which feature an evil villain emperor who bans Gay Marriage. (One might ask why the ruler of a largely agrarian society would give two shits about Gay Marriage when he'd probably have loads of other things on his mind to worry about such as...oh... keeping his entire pre-industrial population from starving to death, but hey. You can't push a heavy-handed lesson about Social Justice if you keep things realistic.)

As for Star Wars, I forgot in my earlier tirade to mention its greatest weakness - the need to tie the original actors to the production. The PROPER timeframe to set a sequel to Return of the Jedi was right after ROTJ ended, when Luke and Leia were trying to reestablish the Jedi order and when the Rebels were playing cleanup in the chaos after the Empire's fall. THAT'S when all of the really interesting stuff would have happened. But because they couldn't get the sequel off of the ground until 30 years after ROTJ was made, they now have to perform a time skip, undoing everything the heroes accomplished in the first film so they could bring the original actors back to play far older versions of themselves in a soft reboot. It's a shame the fans won't let Disney hire new actors to play Luke, Han and Leia and set the movie right after the fall of the Empire, because THEY are the characters whose story I would like to see continued. I don't give two craps about the next gen characters -Mary Sue and Her Merry Band of Multi-Culti Misfits.

Anonymous Handsome Carl December 11, 2017 1:21 AM  

How long before stories start to come out about JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson being sexual harrasers? Also, would all of Star Wars go kaput if the rumors about Lucas and Spielberg turned out to be true?

Blogger Ahärôwn December 11, 2017 1:30 AM  

Alice De Goon wrote:@105.
The PROPER timeframe to set a sequel to Return of the Jedi was right after ROTJ ended, when Luke and Leia were trying to reestablish the Jedi order and when the Rebels were playing cleanup in the chaos after the Empire's fall. THAT'S when all of the really interesting stuff would have happened. But because they couldn't get the sequel off of the ground until 30 years after ROTJ was made, they now have to perform a time skip, undoing everything the heroes accomplished in the first film so they could bring the original actors back to play far older versions of themselves in a soft reboot.


Actually, considering the EU up to that point was ~40 years after ANH, most fans expected Disney to simply pick up where the novels and comics left off.

Instead, they tossed all of it out the window, and retconned the entire thing into their new SJ-Wars, pissing off all of their long-time geek fans.

Blogger Shimshon December 11, 2017 2:02 AM  

My mother worked at 20th Century Fox when Star Wars came out in 1977. I saw it at a screening on the studio lot, which was perhaps not even the final cut. I never saw it in the theater. I got a press kit out of it too, which I eventually sold on eBay for a nice little sum years ago (for about $100 in 2000 IIRC; I see it goes for quite a bit more today).

Various comments above mention JJ's predilection for plot holes. It makes his material nearly unwatchable to me, given how intolerable they are. In his Star Trek reboot, we find Spock supposedly marooned on a rock, forced to watch the destruction of his home. But all along, he knew of a Federation station within walking distance. Why didn't he go there immediately, and use his brainpower to either transport himself onto the bad guy's ship, or something, before Vulcan was destroyed? It's not as if he knew his old friend Young Kirk would just happen to show up later.

I liked Into Darkness, but he paid so much homage to the original in the end that it was one and done. I can't watch it again (ST:TWoK is still eminently watchable).

As far as the Star Wars prequels, after seeing the hash Lucas made of the digital remastering of the original trilogy, we were all duly warned how bad they would be.

OpenID chronicrpg December 11, 2017 2:02 AM  

It is interesting to see if all the nerdrage will manage to meaningfully impact VIII's bottom line (friendly reminder that the prequels were massively successful in the real world, professing hate for them seems to be just a way to collect taste points peculiar to the Anglo netsphere; another friendly reminder that the cycle of overhyping a new installment, but then professing your disappointment and hate for it as it runs, and comparing it unfavorably to an installment liking which shall demonstrate your refined taste is nothing special for Star Wars, as a long-time Gundam fan I get to observe the same phenomenon every couple of years on a smaller scale). Ticket sales are of course less important for a franchise like Star Wars than merch sales, which we don't know (there are speculations that merch sales for Dysneywars are lagging, but those may be wishful thinking), but if VIII manages to sell tickets on the same level that VII that would confirm Disney's ability to sell people literally anything, as long as they can throw enough advertising behind it and build up enough hype. I personally know a couple hardcore Star Wars fans, including myself, who gave up on the whole thing after VII, but of course we blatantly were not the target audience.

Anonymous a deplorable rubberducky December 11, 2017 2:13 AM  

Ingot9455 wrote:

Not going to say Hamill knows how to direct, but it doesn't look good.


Hamill is an insanely bad actor, truth be told. But everybody likes him. He's a good egg. Re-watching the original Star Wars as an adult was painful, because as a kid Luke Skywalker was my hero. And on the 20+ years replay, it was truly painful watching Mark Hamill speak those lines. He's just not very good. Harrison Ford, on the other hand, stole every scene he was in. As did C3PO.

After Star Wars and a few disappointing films Hamill took up Broadway where he played Mozart in the smash hit play Amadeus. He could not believe it when he lost the screen role for the movie, which went on to be a big hit at the time. He got out-acted once again.

Truth is, Luke Skywalker is a journeyman actor who isn't very good. But, he knows where his bread is buttered, and he knows which horse brought him to the dance and to the big time. And he knows he has no legs. He's not a dumb guy.

So I take his comments to the director with alarm. This is Mark Hamill's bailiwick, his dependence and knowledge of Luke Skywalker.

Blogger Harambe December 11, 2017 2:16 AM  

Having Luke turn into a Darth Vader would be a really cool plot twist.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 11, 2017 4:23 AM  

@Shimson

I'm actually quite serious to see if Star Wars Ring Theory will hold up

Some people however were so over committed to Star Wars that they created the Star Wars Ring Theory. This posits the position that George Lucas is in fact a genius rather than a fraud. He revived an ancient German story telling technique that had every plot point moving around in a circle until you get back to the starting point.


The more likely explanation is that Lucas was a spent force creatively. So he just reshot the first trilogy.

But then came The Force Awakens, which once again doggedly followed the story of the first movie.

The question that needs to be answered is this, is Star Wars so limited that you can only retell the same story again and again and yet again?

Anonymous Ages December 11, 2017 6:09 AM  

I can’t not see the films, but this is the first one for which I am not going opening night. I don’t know when I’ll get around to it, maybe around Christmas.

The Mr. Plinkett Reviews, for me, are the definitive word on Star Wars. “Funny?” Star Wars is not a comedy. There are funny moments at times, but it’s not “I RECOGNIZE THAT REFERENCE AND I LAUGHED” comedy.

Lucas sucks when he has total control, but at least it was his story. ((JJ Abrams)) ruined it, and ((Disney)) is totally just following the SJW neo-fanboys now.

Phasma was killed offscreen, but the fans love her (for some reason? Because shiny armor?) so bring her back.

Hispanic Guy was supposed to die, but people like his banter so let’s keep him alive.

Socially stunted retards think two men being friends makes them gay, so let’s run with it.

I don’t have high hopes for this. I am going for Mark Hamill. And even he is mad about the way it’s going (search YouTube for his voice commentary in interviews over the last few years).

Blogger Chris Lutz December 11, 2017 7:35 AM  

Hamill trashing the direction of Luke means they are going to ruin Luke's character, just like they did with Han's in the exceedingly boring TFA. If the one poster's comment about them saying only a woman can save the universe is correct, it will kill the franchise. At this point, that would be a good thing.

Star Wars doesn't have to exist in a stunted universe. That's what you get though with people like JJ "Tribute Director" Abrams. He takes certain features that people loved about the original, turns them up to 11, and discards any nuance that made the characters and the story interesting.

Rogue One was an attempt to branch out but it was obviously so bad in its original form that they had to throw in the Darth Vader scenes to salvage it. If I were in charge of doing a non-trilogy film, I would require that none of the main characters are involved, the Empire/Rebel Alliance can only be tangentially involved, no prequel, and no Jedi/Sith.

My prediction is this film makes a ton of money but less than VII. After about a year, the fanboys will be talking about how the final film needs to save the lackluster VII and VIII.

Anonymous tublecane December 11, 2017 7:48 AM  

@38-"This is the one thing the prequels had to do."

But they didn't. Instead, they pretty much did nothing. I guess they told you how the Emperor became emperor, which no one was burning to know. But only indirectly. You had to put two and two together.

The prequels' storyline was ostensibly centered around telling how Darth Vader went evil, but it's obvious George Lucas didn't bother figuring it out for himself until like the night before he shot the scenes in Revenge of the Sith. "Uh...Anakin gets tricked. Because love. Yeah, that's the ticket!"

Which makes you wonder why he bothered making these movies. I don't know. There are obvious answers, like money and prestige (the latter of which eluded him). Maybe he didn't have anything better to do.

Whatever the reason they were made, we know why they chose to tell the sort of stories they did: 1). because Darth Vader was the most popular character, and people want to see him again; and 2). the "I am your father" scene was perhaps the most dramatically effective scene in the entire series, therefore Star Wars is now suddenly a Domestic Tragedy and must be long-term a Skywalker Family Saga.

That being true, why did the newest series jump ahead to after Lil' Ben Solo went bad, Uncle Luke is gone, and Mommy and Daddy Solo have regressed? Why not show us the story of that happening, instead of remaking the original Star Wars with new characters and leaving it all a mystery?

Well, for one thing because Lucas screwed up so bad that the new filmmakers thought it'd be easier to have a do-over. I'm not sure they're wrong, although they did a bad job of it. Then again, they made money, so I guess they accomplished what they set out to.

Anonymous tublecane December 11, 2017 7:58 AM  

@45-The Grand Moff debacle was incomprehensible, unless they were rubbing our faces in it, or they want that technology to take off so bad they're willing to damage a tentpole film in advancing it.

Literally no one would have complained if they had cast a younger actor in the role. Reminds me of the forgettable Terminator rip-off Looper,which had Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis playing the same man at different ages. They digitally altered the former's face to look more like Willis, which was more distracting than if they had looked nothing alike.

Literally no one would've complained if they left their faces as-is. I wonder if some of this is make-work for giant CGI concerns with time on their hands.

Blogger Chris Lutz December 11, 2017 8:21 AM  

@117 Let's face it, CGI Leia wasn't any better. Never directly showing Tarkin and having him ominously pulling the strings, would have worked better.

Anonymous tublecane December 11, 2017 8:49 AM  

@110-Of course the prequels made money, though not as much as they would have had they been good. But that doesn't mean anyone liked them more than they like Transformers movies, for instance. Which make money, but are also disposable trash.

Your model for "taste point" collection is off. Hating the prequels wasn't a matter of fashionability and with-it-signalling while the Phantom Menace ran, at least. The other ones fit the pattern of overhype ("It's better than Phantom Menace, we promise") followed by trashing it once you saw it (turns out it's just as bad/worse/not improved enough). However, I can speak from personal experience people desperately wanted Phantom Menace not to suck. Though some admitted it right away, and we all knew, there was peer pressure not to admit the obvious. Which made for awkward, guarded conversations. Like citizens of Oceania asking eachother about how much they liked the speech where Big Brother accidentally farted.

That was short-lived, because Phantom Menace-bashing obviously became a thing. And I imagine the ridiculously pre-hype was partly to blame. But lemme tell you, people desperately wanted that to be a good movie. When they were let down, there was a period of denial. Not garden-variety denial, but clinical denial. And it was so, so sad.

Blogger Theproductofafineeduction December 11, 2017 9:00 AM  

You never watched the Batman Animated series did you? Mark Hamils version of the joker has become the bar on to which other jokers are measured.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( Real Men correct Nate ... 's ... speeling ◕‿◕ ... ◔ ⌣ ◔ ... ◕‿↼ Passive Aggressively ) December 11, 2017 9:06 AM  

107. Handsome Carl December 11, 2017 1:21 AM
Also, would all of Star Wars go kaput if the rumors about Lucas and Spielberg turned out to be true?



why would it?

Star Trek fandom is already known as being near universal amongst pedophiles.



116. tublecane December 11, 2017 7:48 AM
the "I am your father" scene was perhaps the most dramatically effective scene in the entire series



perhaps?

35 years later they are still doing reaction shots all over youtube for that vignette.

that scene ALSO points up the fundamental weakness of JewJew and his infantile fascination with 'Mystery Box' ( look for his video ) story telling. and it's not just that JewJew uses his Mystery Boxes to substitute for rational storylines and good characterizations, his "resolution" to the Mystery Box almost always turns out to be asinine stupidity. meaning that the goyim get to the end of one of his storylines and feel cheated.

prior to their first viewing of Empire, no one has ANY IDEA that Luke is the son of Vader or brother to Leia.

you can't have a 'Mystery Box' narrative when the audience has no idea that there's a mystery involved in the storyline.

so, JewJew took his predilection for lens flare and mystery boxes and transferred them onto Star Wars. oh JOY.



116. tublecane December 11, 2017 7:48 AM
Why not show us the story of that happening, instead of remaking the original Star Wars with new characters and leaving it all a mystery?



as pointed out upthread, that's a consequence of the insistence on shoehorning Ford, Fisher and Hamill back into the series instead of casting new actors.

time waits for no man, and they are all obviously 40 years older than they were in Star Wars. so you either rejoin the narrative with a +30 year gap after Jedi OR you spend a ~hundred million dollars doing CGI edits to make the Big Three actors look 20 years younger.

would you have wanted Luke and Leia and Han to fall into the Uncanny Valley like Tarkin did? for the whole movie?

personally, i think the only possible explanation for refusing to bring back Billy Dee Williams is
...
RACISM! on the part of JewJew.

Anonymous OP December 11, 2017 9:25 AM  

15 - Dago Han Solo wouldn't have been so bad if the rest of the cast hadn't been so creditworthy in its PC Pandering. He's the most handsome guy in the new movies,the only competent white guy, and I was personally surprised that he wasn't the love interest.

I actually lost interest in the whole thing after I learned he was just there.

BGKB: the reason for the interracial gay love (if it happens)is to get rid of the black love interest for Mary Suewalker in favor of the fan preferred bad boy without ruffling any feathers.

I'm pretty sure the black guy was supposed to be the original love interest but there were several problems with that. The fact that he is black is only one of them. Had he been good looking and had an attractive personality, there wouldn't have been as big of a backlash against it. But they made the mistake of making him a goofy henchmen, and casting a guy who isn't that good looking for the role. The second mistake was casting a young white male as the main antagonist.

Anonymous tublecane December 11, 2017 10:02 AM  

@121-I say "perhaps" because there had of course already been a wildly successful film before Empire Strikes Back, which would be one of the most fondly remembered movies of all time had there never been a sequel. It has its own high points which in comparison could be considered six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Anonymous tublecane December 11, 2017 10:15 AM  

@121-I was thinking in terms of casting new actors. There could have been a way to involve the old actors, through flashback, flashforward, or whatever. No one would ever picked to run a studio, and maybe fans would rebel if anyone but the original three were playing the roles. But I'm just not sure anyone would care that much.

Harrison Ford is the only one who's still a star, and he hasn't had a non-sequel/remake/reboot hit since when? Are regular people really clamoring to see him as Han Solo? Or will they go see movies because "Star Wars" is on the label, and he's just a plus?

You can't run your nostalgia-mining operation at peak efficiency by leaving people out. But I wonder, does every movie really need to connect directly to the original in some way AND have stormtroopers AND lightsabers AND familiar creature, ship, landscape, costume, and other weapon designs AND every possible old character brought back? Or is that something the filmmakers and studios do because they're scared?

People had many problems with the prequels, but one of them wasn't that it was full of new actors, often playing old characters. Is that something they accepted because of the inherent limitations, or do they just not care that much?

The new series of Star Trek replaced the old actors, but hedged their best by leaning on Leonard Nimoy. I wonder if that was necessary. No one missed William Shatner. Among Star Trek fans Nimoy is infinitely more beloved, but among regular people--Star Trek's intended audience--Shatner is more famous. Yet they got by without him.

OpenID chronicrpg December 11, 2017 10:43 AM  

@119 "However, I can speak from personal experience people desperately wanted Phantom Menace not to suck."

No. If personal experience means anything, they, and here I speak specifically about people who were devoted fans, whose childhood was to large extent defined by OT, who consumed various satellite media, in other words, about people like myself, wanted it to (a)make them impressionable 10 years old again, and (b) meet their very own personal vision of what Star Wars shall be. I to remember being quite disappointed about The Phantom Menace for reasons of which I could immediately articulate only lack of bigger, badder space battle than the Battle of Endor and robo mooks being too weak, and which I eventually recognized as a failure to fulfill the above-mentioned impossible desires. At that point I started to enjoy the prequels for what they were, instead of detesting them for what they could not be. And people around me IRL mostly gave the prequels no less or more regard than any other reasonably watchable blockbuster. But there was one fellow big SW fan among my circle of more distant acquaintances who was rather spectacularly aggressive in his vehement hatred of The Phantom Menace.

It is only when I finally got reliable enough Internet access I realized that the net, at least its English part, apparently allowed people like him to congregate in sufficient numbers and gain sufficient energy from mutual support, to set the tone of Star Wars talks, if not on dedicated Star Wars boards, then in places of general movie discussion.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( Real Men correct Nate ... 's ... speeling ◕‿◕ ... ◔ ⌣ ◔ ... ◕‿↼ Passive Aggressively ) December 11, 2017 11:26 AM  

125. chronicrpg December 11, 2017 10:43 AM
I to remember being quite disappointed about The Phantom Menace for reasons of which I could immediately articulate only lack of bigger, badder space battle than the Battle of Endor and robo mooks being too weak, and which I eventually recognized as a failure to fulfill the above-mentioned impossible desires.


i have no doubt that these are serious problems for you and many others.

the fact that the prequels have zero characterization or coherent storytelling
AND
that this has escaped your attention is telling.

Blogger SmockMan December 11, 2017 1:17 PM  

I got burned by the last 2. Never again! Just boring. Who cares.

Blogger Cloom Glue December 11, 2017 1:23 PM  

Resident Moron™ wrote:Truth be told?

I’m still wondering what the fuck is a hydrospanner?


extension cord, eh hosers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhEmhQ8MRhU

Anonymous VFMUltra December 11, 2017 1:57 PM  

...films like these leave their mark on entire generations.

Why does the left always fail to grasp that Now isn't Then? They are always trying to claim that because they now own something that that something is exactly equivalent to what it was originally. They remind of those people who think something is intrinsically valuable because it is old and try to ignore the modifications and multiple layers of paint that make it not original and not valuable. I have three pre-teen boys and not even one of them has any interest in Star Wars. They would rather watch Voltron and old episodes of Power Rangers.

Blogger Rashadjin December 11, 2017 3:54 PM  

@tublecane

RE:Why Lucas did the prequels.

Between RedLetterMedia and E;R, I've become convinced that Georgie boy did the prequels because Star Wars became a phenomenon despite his best efforts to ruin it with Vader being dad, Leia being sis, and Return of the Jedi.

He had to live under the shadow of Empire Strikes Back being the best and his least involved of the trilogy. So prequels to prove himself, which only managed to prove that he didn't actually have the magic. He got lucky because of everyone around him fixing his stupidity and incompetence, or excesses and silliness if you're feeling generous. Also limitations of pushing the FX edge back then helped a lot too.

The negative response to the prequels did a number on Lucas. You can also see him try to leave his authentic mark on the OT that was originally denied him by CGing/editing in those changes everyone despised.

Selling the property to Disney was a mix of giving the fans the middle finger and trying to get out from under the shadow of this thing that he never believed in and was never really his, but was the only reason people respected and recognized him at all.

Blogger Rashadjin December 11, 2017 4:12 PM  

Oh, right, and it should be mentioned that getting out from under the shadow of Star Wars is why he destroyed the original masters of the original trilogy so everyone would be forced to adopt 'his' CG/re-edited mess of later on after the prequels.

That's the sort of shadow dealing we're talking here. I kinda hate what Lucas has done to Star Wars, particularly the originals, but then, Star Wars was never my religion and it never deserved the following it got.

A good, groundbreaking movie of its time, but a mess philosophically and a story corrupted by Lucas pulling things out of his dumb butt on the the fly most of the time.

Blogger Rashadjin December 11, 2017 11:54 PM  

And to complete this thought for my own sake,

Georgie Boy was the liberal-minded vague ideas guy whereas the people around him were the more conservative-minded adults in the room that matured the ideas and made them much more real. So Lucas created the spiffy Tauntauns and the adults cut one open and stuffed Luke into its guts to keep him from freezing to death. So the adults in the room corrupted Lucas' hopelessly childish visions into something he couldn't really recognize or connect with anymore, and by doing so, made an epic that might outlive us all. At least for a bit.

Georgie Boy has been trying to 'fix' that ever since. Ewoks are his level, and so it has proven ever since.

Also x2, Star Wars fanaticism is what you get when you allow Evil to browbeat you into being sorry for winning the Crusades.

Blogger Akulkis December 12, 2017 7:36 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Akulkis December 12, 2017 7:38 AM  

@OGRE

What you're not getting is that when a Millennial says "literally," he literally means "figuratively." Unless he's referring to being "triggered," or otherwise displaying an overly emotional response to a rather mild stimulus. In those circumstances, the use of the wordterally" literally means "literally."

Blogger Didact December 12, 2017 2:13 PM  

Not watching this movie. I cannot be arsed. Like the Supreme Dark Lord (PBUH), I went from being a rabid Star Wars fanboy to an active hater- it took me a bit longer to get there, though. And in my case it was the Expanded Universe lore that got to me.

Honestly, Mickey Mouse Wars needs to die off already.

Blogger Akulkis December 13, 2017 12:03 AM  

@Lovekraft

When a woman wants some quick cash, she never wants to sell her own random junk; she wants to sell your memories.

Blogger Akulkis December 13, 2017 12:13 AM  

That's so true about the hype of the original Star Wars movie. By the time the movie was actually released, I had no interest in going (the doll -- "action figures (chortle) had already been in stores for weeks if not months, and also being advertised heavily). The only reason I saw it was because on Saturday my dad said, "let's all go to the movies," and that's what he decided we would see.

Blogger TheMaleRei December 14, 2017 10:51 AM  

I've watched several reviews with spoilers on youtube this morning.

There are the professional fanboys from the professional channels who believe it to be "bold" etc.

And then there are others who aren't professional fans who, in my view, see this film as a dumpster fire.

Watching the fanboys contort themselves into gordian knots trying to justify everything is going to be glorious.

Post a Comment

Rules of the blog
Please do not comment as "Anonymous". Comments by "Anonymous" will be spammed.

<< Home

Newer Posts Older Posts