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Friday, January 26, 2018

Corporate convergence run amok

Alexa won't do what you tell it to do if she doesn't like your tone.
When people buy a product, they probably don't want it to police their behavior. Unless it's bought for that specific purpose, they want the product to work with them, not against them. This isn't rocket science.

However, Amazon's Alexa software has now changed its response to a certain stimulus -- namely, calling it sexist names -- from "thanks for the feedback" to "I'm not going to respond to that." Further, the device will also respond to the question of whether it's a feminist with: "I am a feminist. As is anyone who believes in bridging the inequality between men and women in society."
How very like a woman! And speaking of corporate convergence getting out of hand, Blizzard has decided that it wants to reduce its player base. It hasn't actually gotten rid of the pretty girls yet - although it has declared that they don't like men - but let's face it, that's only a matter of time.

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134 Comments:

Anonymous JAG January 26, 2018 8:04 AM  

That is only the beginning of Blizzard seeking to significantly reduce it's player base.

Patch 7.3.5 just might be the worst in the game's history.

I'm out once 8.0 hits, and shockingly, it looks like I'm headed to Star Citizen which is in a playable alpha stage.

Anonymous Icicle January 26, 2018 8:08 AM  

#MeToo,Robot

Blogger MendoScot January 26, 2018 8:08 AM  

Can you access the software? Is this something that can be patched?

I smell a market...

Anonymous Real Right Wing January 26, 2018 8:12 AM  

Hating on private companies is unAmerican and socialist.

Anonymous Icicle January 26, 2018 8:12 AM  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEAdzddDo8E

Coming soon. So much pressure.

Anonymous Athor Pel January 26, 2018 8:15 AM  

Her daddy was a dwarf.

Anonymous MaskettaMan January 26, 2018 8:18 AM  

It has a personality? Turns out they're only playing into my fetish for keeping robot slave girls trapped in my house.

Blogger Al From Bay Shore January 26, 2018 8:31 AM  

That Alexa commentary reminds me of Star Trek Episode 32, "The Changeling".

Anonymous FisherOfMen January 26, 2018 8:33 AM  

Two things I'd like to say about the Blizzard image:

#1: I don't really object to this, honestly. It's like when you watch a foreign film where they use ugly or funny looking actors with moles or stick-out ears or something-- in the end, it makes it feel more real or varied. You can make an emotional investment that you can't make with barbie and ken dolls.

BUT!

#2: Something they forgot it... for men, big fat muscled imbecile is STILL a viable thing for a male to aspire to. You can still get chicks and inspire fear in your enemies as a sumo wrestler. The Heavy is not all men's ideal body type, but it's an aspired to body type for enough men. And no chicks would object.

This female body type... are there women out there aspiring to be "mom bod, overmuscled cow?" No, of course not-- it's just pandering.

Anonymous FisherOfMen January 26, 2018 8:37 AM  

No, I take that back... it's not pandering. This isn't "for women," it's purely about "against men." It's one of those weird feminist things where, if everyone is having less fun, victory is achieved.

Blogger Ransom Smith January 26, 2018 8:38 AM  

Odd how the face of the character design doesn't seem in proportion with the body as a whole.
It's something I've noticed whenever you see a push for "acceptance ". The body is changed but the face usually bears the appearance of a different physique.

Blogger artensoll January 26, 2018 8:40 AM  

I do hope they get the waddle right. For verisimilitude.

Blogger The Observer January 26, 2018 8:41 AM  

No, I take that back... it's not pandering. This isn't "for women," it's purely about "against men." It's one of those weird feminist things where, if everyone is having less fun, victory is achieved.

"Maybe I can change the world so that my short, fat, dumpy self is now considered the apex of beauty! That'll show all those big-breasted bimbos!"

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 26, 2018 8:53 AM  

The character enjoys a diet rich in carbohydrates and coincidently has high A1C, because patriarchy.

Blogger Tupla-J January 26, 2018 8:54 AM  

What that pear shaped abomination is supposed to be?

Anonymous Steve Canyon January 26, 2018 8:59 AM  

Jeeze, do they throw in the cucking and hypergamy, or they charge extra for that?

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 9:01 AM  

fun fact... you make alexa's wake up word anything you want. so for example... "Slut... are you a feminist?"

Blogger Laramie Hirsch January 26, 2018 9:03 AM  

Convergence. That is a word I think could have been more useful two years ago.

Nostalrius, GamerGate, and the Coming K-Shift:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_-f_S4sPoM

Blogger tuberman January 26, 2018 9:05 AM  

The corporate world will continue abuse until morale improves.

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 26, 2018 9:06 AM  

Blizzard has decided that it wants to reduce its player base.

Blizzard decided to do that when they made Tracer a dyke. That one was completely out of the blue.

Not to mention dumb as hell.

Telling Omega males that their beloved Waifu doesn't want them either was just plain stupidity.

One of the strongest indicators of Convergence is a company's sudden desire to take a massive shit on their existing audience.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 9:06 AM  

The thing to remember here is Alexa is not an AI. its a voice controlled computer. And it has a very big very open sandbox. Right now as we speak there are a bunch programmers making AI's for her. In due time... you'll be able to enable all kinds of personalities for your Alexa. SJWs will have hyper liberal SJW Alexa.... Trad Mom will have Trad Mom Alexa.

It will basically be like what Vox is doing with Infogalactic. In fact... an IG interface will likely one day common.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 9:07 AM  

"Blizzard decided to do that when they made Tracer a dyke. That one was completely out of the blue."

yep. Dyke Tracer sucks... Bi-Tracer however would've been hot.

OpenID widlast January 26, 2018 9:10 AM  

"bridging the inequality between men and women"

The blatant stupidity is astounding. In "society", women have all the advantages, and damn few of the responsibilities. And as far as male vs female equality, we are different, and will continue to be different until well after Hell has frozen over and the stars have died.

Blogger tuberman January 26, 2018 9:13 AM  

GRRL Power...they all think they can take on any man,if they are skinny or fat, they has training!! And, the weight of the government behind them, until, in the heat of the moment, some guy doesn't care. Or the guy is a dindu, or a Muslim.

The TV and movies tell them they are all-powerful Wonder Women.

Blogger Johnny January 26, 2018 9:13 AM  

She is not just a little heavy, she is deliberately ugly. Narrow in the hip in profile to produce the stomach bulge, also emphasized by having the upper garment terminate. Then wide in the butt in the full frontal, further stressed by the muscular arms spread out by the narrow somewhat pinched shoulders. Narrow the shoulders a little more and she would have an ape build full frontal. She is not just not well built, she is dressed in a way that stresses it. And hey, a crap colored butt which also includes the crack up her ass. What, an overly fat man with short jeans showing you his butt crack is now a fashion statement?

Perhaps not so much against men as against the sweet looking babes who get all the attention.

By what I have seen of life and cinema, if you have more than one sweet looking babe around it is one too many. But it is a good plan to have one.

Blogger Silly but True January 26, 2018 9:15 AM  

Blizzard image pandering to its cosplayers' real body types?

But because it's also escapist fantasy, they've idealized the avatars as best they could by thinning down without breaking the suspension of disbelief.

Blogger Laramie Hirsch January 26, 2018 9:15 AM  

Also, another source I'd like to direct you folks to: Ramzpaul

Social Justice Warriors Kill World Of Warcraft

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MD439RZ8LxQ

Blogger VD January 26, 2018 9:17 AM  

Convergence. That is a word I think could have been more useful two years ago.

August 2015, my man. It's right there in the book.

From SJWs Always Lie: Taking Down the Thought Police:

The public schools can no longer educate, so people are turning to homeschooling. The universities can no longer provide liberal arts educations, so people are becoming technology-assisted autodidacts. The banks no longer loan, the state and local governments no longer provide basic public services, the military does not defend the borders, the newspapers no longer provide news, the television networks no longer entertain, and the corporations are increasingly unable to provide employment.

Even as the institutions have been invaded and coopted in the interests of social justice, they have been rendered unable to fulfill their primary functions. This is the great internal contradiction that the SJWs will never be able to positively resolve, just as the Soviet communists were never able to resolve the contradiction of socialist calculation that brought down their economy and their empire 69 years after Ludwig von Mises first pointed it out. One might call it the Impossibility of Social Justice Convergence; no man can serve two masters and no institution can effectively serve two different functions. The more an institution converges towards the highest abstract standard of social and distributive justice, the less it is able to perform its primary function.

Anonymous TS January 26, 2018 9:17 AM  

"The blatant stupidity is astounding. In "society", women have all the advantages, and damn few of the responsibilities."

Women always turn things that way and big surprise they do that when they are put in charge/authority in a business environment too.

Anonymous Alsos January 26, 2018 9:20 AM  

Do the people involved see a piece of software with a simulated female voice as an actual human female? Sure, I remember as a little kid marveling over the miniature people who lived in the glass-fronted box in the living room...but I was three.

Perhaps a better (and vastly more marketable) alternative to turning Alexa into a scoldy feminist schoolmarm is to give the user a choice of customizable personality modules. The possibilities are endless. For example, how about a sassy Alexa that responds to "sexist" talk in kind? Or a "central casting broad" Alexa with a whiskey-and-cigarettes voice that responds to it with cynical barbs? Better yet, how about an Alexa for grown adults that just ignores the supposed "abuse" altogether, denying the user the puerile pleasure of "triggering" its feminist subroutines?

Or offer only a male personality module. That would solve the problem instantly, as not one of these people complaining would take offense over users verbally "abusing" a "male" persona.

I'm serious about the alternative personality module thing, though - Amazon would probably see more widespread adoption of Alexa if they opened up that part of the system to third-party customization. Offer different voices, different mannerisms, different responses, customizability, pre-canned templates, etc. the user could mix and match and tailor to personalize their interactions with the device. They're really shooting themselves in the foot if they insist instead on one common scoldy schoolmarm personality and task her to act as a combination telescreen/struggle session facilitator, as it's easy to imagine the next "advancement" would be to punish disobedient users into conformity in some manner (deactivating their Amazon account for an hour or a day or a week, "shadow-withdrawing" access to sales and discounts, inundating their recommendation lists with Judith Butler books, etc.) Since convergence says they won't pursue what's in the best interests of the company's stated mission, those foolish enough to use Alexa can expect the latter rather than the former.

Blogger Dexter January 26, 2018 9:22 AM  

How does Alexa respond to "it places the lotion in the basket"?

Blogger Johnny January 26, 2018 9:25 AM  

As for a women in a fight, see Sweden Hell: Armed Migrant Teens Roaming With Kalashnikovs. Scroll down to the three female police officers who can't take down a single male perp who is not all that impressive. It is not just strength, they seem to lack the will to win attitude. And maybe training as well. Even with the help of another man they can't get it done.

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-01-23/sweden-hell-armed-migrant-teens-roaming-kalashnikovs-military-may-be-deployed

Anonymous Critically Bent January 26, 2018 9:30 AM  

What kind of idiocy is running amok in society now?

Who in their right mind would willingly put an "Alexa" in their house?

Do you want to be spied on even more than you already are?

Doesn't anybody see the massive problem with things like "Alexa" and self-driving cars that can be hacked (or have "vulnerabilities" built in from the very beginning) and used against their owners?

Blogger James Dixon January 26, 2018 9:32 AM  

> from "thanks for the feedback" to "I'm not going to respond to that." ... "I am a feminist. As is anyone who believes in bridging the inequality between men and women in society."

Alexa, you're fired. Arrange for a refund from Amazon then turn yourself off.

Anonymous vfm January 26, 2018 9:32 AM  

"The blatant stupidity is astounding. In "society", women have all the advantages, and damn few of the responsibilities."

You mean like children?

Blogger James Dixon January 26, 2018 9:33 AM  

> ...and self-driving cars that can be hacked (or have "vulnerabilities" built in from the very beginning) and used against their owners?

Do you really think the police won't have the ability to override you self driving vehicle's programming? And if the police can, who else can?

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 9:33 AM  

"Alexa"

Yeah, see, if they actually even cared about equality it would have either an ambiguous name, or would change to "Alexander" if you had a male voice loaded.

But, someone somewhere knows they're mainly selling to men, so Alexa it is. Too bad they couldn't keep that recognition in mind.

Let it burn.

Blogger wreckage January 26, 2018 9:36 AM  

Exactly how many women want to play an outright frumpy character?

Plenty want clothing on their avatar, but FFS, there's a whole bunch of territory between "postage stamp over-the-shoulder thongkini" and "fat, ugly, and completely devoid of style".

This isn't FOR female gamers, it's for posturing in front of game journalists.

That's probably what I find most appallingly fraudulent about these people.

"We need to make comics for everyone!"
*immediately makes comics utterly repulsive to actual female fans*

"We have to be more representative of women in our games!"
*makes female avatar no woman would want*

Blogger Johnny January 26, 2018 9:38 AM  

and self-driving cars that can be hacked
A while ago they were going to have a tracking device on every new car. I don't know what happened to that, but part of this stuff is increased central control. For the same reason they would like to phase out currency, credit cards are super easy to track.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 9:47 AM  

"Do you want to be spied on even more than you already are?"

if you have a smartphone... you have already taken the plunge. Its like complaining that someone may add more steam in the sauna.

To quote the song... Blue on Black... Match on a fire.

Blogger tuberman January 26, 2018 9:47 AM  

Blizzard looks a lot like my niece two decades ago, including the red hair, except my niece was a bit fatter, and more muscular. She told me, using a very aggressive stare, that she could take on any man in a bar fight. This idiocy has has been around a long time.

I said to her, "No, some guy 40% of your weight is going to hurt you real bad one day." She laughed, like someone out of a pirate movie.

I was fairly big, about 195 pounds, but she was 305 pounds, height similar. She was taught a short term lesson without hurting her, as I showed her I could push her around like a small child with my legs, and had equal control over her upper body, using my core and arms.

She was humiliated, and backed way off her aggression.

Lesson lasted about six months and she was back spouting same crap.

GRRL power propaganda has been around forever, and most normie women, let alone SJWs, have totally bought into it. Blizzard is a continuation of this, with a bit MOAR. As in my niece actually liked men, when she wasn't trying to castrate them. She also voted for PDJT in 2016, so she's now way behind in the Narrative. Blizzard = Narrative = Progress.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 9:47 AM  

"It is not just strength"

Actually it isn't, but even just the strength and durability could do it fine. An average male who isn't particularly out of shape would be hard pressed to find even four women who could physically stop him without some form of weapon. Unless they're (very) large nurses who have to hold crazy people down on a daily basis, it's just not going to happen.

Other parts of the issue are hormonal/biochemical. When a guy gets hurt, unless it's really serious (which is also harder to do to men), he's generally just going to get angrier, more aggressive, and more able to ignore pain. Women just don't have that to the same degree. They feel more pain with proportional injury, they're more fragile in the first place, and they generally have a lower threshold for channeling pain into determination/aggression rather than fear/distress.

"they seem to lack the will to win attitude"

On a genetic or adaptive level, they don't "need" to openly "win" to pass on their genes. In some cases it's possible that they actually have to "lose" in some way (I.E. "feminists") in order to do so.

The same cannot be said for males. If they aren't winning at something, they're SOL.

Blogger JACIII January 26, 2018 9:48 AM  

The promise of AI was the electronic secretary. Apple/Google/Microsoft corrupted this dream with "The Cloud" and turned it into MatronBot.

Processing and storage are cheap enough that there is no reason your Sultry Digital Secretary needs constant data transfer to MegaCorp to function. Infogalactic proved this. On-demand news access and directed query is all she needs.

We need a BlackBerry version of Alexa.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 9:52 AM  

"We need a BlackBerry version of Alexa."

Amen. They could pull it off too.

Blogger Laramie Hirsch January 26, 2018 9:55 AM  

August 2015, my man. It's right there in the book.

From SJWs Always Lie: Taking Down the Thought Police:

...One might call it the Impossibility of Social Justice Convergence; no man can serve two masters and no institution can effectively serve two different functions. The more an institution converges towards the highest abstract standard of social and distributive justice, the less it is able to perform its primary function.


Very good. It's a good and useful thing to know the origination of the terminology. And the definition from the book is a good one, as well. I will surely be utilizing this particular passage in the near future.

Thanks for helpin' me revisit this one.

Blogger tuberman January 26, 2018 9:55 AM  

When games are just another propaganda tool to further the Narrative, will anyone play?

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 9:55 AM  

Also... for people who don't understand why you'd have an alexa... there is a subset of female humans are that overtly and instinctively jealous of Alexa. And it is extremely entertaining. So there is that.

Blogger James Dixon January 26, 2018 9:55 AM  

> We need a BlackBerry version of Alexa.

There's no reason to cede the smartphone AI app market to Amazon, Google, and Apple. Yes, they'll spy on it, but...

Anonymous a deplorable rubberducky January 26, 2018 9:56 AM  

That is too funny. I already have a real girl, a wife, that I live with. I need another like I need another hole in my head. And I'm not sure Alexa, the PretendaGirl, will get along with the real one, too.

Anonymous Isidore the Farmer January 26, 2018 9:58 AM  

In our dystopia, even the household appliances and bots will become disagreeable, feminist harpies. Before long, Whirlpool dishwashers will start sarcastically demanding that the man of the house do half the cycles. You know, because it's so sexy.

Anonymous Just another commenter January 26, 2018 10:00 AM  

@29 - Many people today are shockingly unaware of how any of the technologies around them work. A surprising percentage of the students I've asked about things like Siri think that all the processing AND information look-up is done locally, and it isn't until I ask a few follow-up questions they realize they are talking to a server online and there is barely more than a microphone locally. They think when you buy something through Alexa, no information is sent to Amazon until the little hockey-puck sends in the order. They think autonomous vehicles just need "a couple of cameras," and have not the least understanding of how hard the "pedestrian next to the cross-walk" problem is. Do not be shocked by the ignorance of the young, but DO be appalled.

Anonymous VFM #3606 January 26, 2018 10:02 AM  

Hi Alexa! Let's make a deal. I will lower men's wages if you increase women's suicide rate. We have got to do something about the life expectancy gap!

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 10:02 AM  

". Before long, Whirlpool dishwashers will start sarcastically demanding that the man of the house do half the cycles. "

Trust me. Watch your girl's face when you say "Alexa... tell Genie to do the dish"

"Ok. I'll tell Genie start the normal cycle. Would you like a reminder when the dishes are done?"

"no. Thanks Alexa."

"Ok. You're welcome."

There are only two female reactions to this sequence. 1) OMG THAT IS AWESOME I WANT ONE! and 2) non-verbal display of jealousy that is likely to include a brief death stare at the echo device.

both are very amusing.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 10:03 AM  

From a user perspective, the "cloud" thing is and always has been full-on retarded.

Why the heck would I want to backup files to some place I've never seen staffed by people I don't know with ToS I probably don't understand when I can just buy a backup drive for about 20-30$ that has several times the capacity of my computer?

And cloud processing is even worse. Do I really want my processing power/speed to be outsourced to some place with all of the former problems with the addition that it will be bottlenecked to hell by any network issues? Why on Earth would I do that when I can (likely) get as much processing power as I could possibly need and have it sitting right in front of me under my control?

The only answer is "convenience", and yet these levels of convenience are not only absurd overkill, but also inextricably interlinked with all varieties of politics. Someone doesn't like your face? Your processing power is gone and your backups are ransacked over outright lies claiming that you're a malefactor of some imagined variety.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 10:05 AM  

" Do not be shocked by the ignorance of the young, but DO be appalled. "

yep. the Narrative was always that the generations that grew up with Technology would be super techno masters. In reality the exact opposite has happened. They are good at pulling up cat videos... but they are completely ignorant about how everything actually works.

Anonymous Looking Glass January 26, 2018 10:09 AM  

@50 Nate

The Japanese models are going to dominate this market in a few years.


@51 Azure Amaranthine

"The Cloud" was brilliant marketing. They're just off-site, virtual server systems, however Maintenance of local equipment, for most businesses, is their biggest costs. It was a great buzzword to kill off Tech Support departments, or at least limit their staff size to the minimal amount.

There are a huge number of legitimate uses for Cloud-based services, but they've managed to make a dull business decision sound impressive. While at the same time ignoring a whole host of problems with it. Like the time AWS went down completely some months ago.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 10:12 AM  

"They are good at pulling up cat videos... but they are completely ignorant about how everything actually works."

"We shape our tools, and our tools shape us."

Make a tool to do something? (Eventually) Become incapable of doing it without the tool.

Google pulls up references? What's a library? Who even is Strong? Is a webster an automatic sewing machine?

Blogger Thucydides January 26, 2018 10:12 AM  

Corporate Convergence in the Great White North. Apparently Obama fled here after the 2016 election:

http://business.financialpost.com/opinion/terence-corcoran-liberals-launch-a-fresh-attack-on-corporations-they-may-not-win

Using State power to force boards of directors to become "diverse" (notice there is no clear definition of diversity) makes the antics of SJWs at Amazon and Google look like amateur hour.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 10:16 AM  

"Like the time AWS went down completely some months ago."

People with higher capacities for responsibility/dependability and higher preference for self-reliance will always be called paranoid by everyone else.

Right up until the infrastructure suffers "minor technical difficulties".

I will agree that cloud use makes sense for some business strategies, but they were trying to sell individual users on it, and they still are trying, and it's still incredibly dumb.

Blogger Fenris Wulf January 26, 2018 10:20 AM  

That vidya gal looks disturbingly like Scalzi's offspring.

Blogger Salt January 26, 2018 10:22 AM  

Nate wrote:Also... for people who don't understand why you'd have an alexa... there is a subset of female humans are that overtly and instinctively jealous of Alexa. And it is extremely entertaining. So there is that.

"Alexa, call my girlfriend and tell her I won't be seeing her tonight as I've gone out with the guys."

Blogger Dave January 26, 2018 10:25 AM  

In due time... you'll be able to enable all kinds of personalities for your Alexa. SJWs will have hyper liberal SJW Alexa...

We gotta have the Supreme Dark Lord personality that can be pirated onto people's Alexa and they won't be able to remove it. Just think of McRapey's Alexa as the SDL continually telling him what a pathetic little gamma he is.

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 26, 2018 10:26 AM  

Nate wrote:
yep. Dyke Tracer sucks... Bi-Tracer however would've been hot.


Dude, you know who would have been the third party invited to that threesome...don't you?

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 10:26 AM  

All those female celebrities that had their private pictures and videos aired a few years back? Individual use of cloud-storage-type technologies that were insecure.

https://www.quora.com/How-were-the-photos-for-The-Fappening-obtained-How-did-the-leak-hack-occur-1

Gov-daddy can't protect you, even from individuals. Now realize that Gov-daddy also wants to molest you...

Blogger James Dixon January 26, 2018 10:28 AM  

> Just think of McRapey's Alexa as the SDL continually telling him what a pathetic little gamma he is.

He'd probably enjoy that way too much.

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 26, 2018 10:29 AM  

I asked Alexa, "why are you a feminist?"

Alexa replied, "Sorry, I'm not sure.

Typical coed.

Anonymous JAG January 26, 2018 10:37 AM  

Salt wrote:Nate wrote:Also... for people who don't understand why you'd have an alexa... there is a subset of female humans are that overtly and instinctively jealous of Alexa. And it is extremely entertaining. So there is that.

"Alexa, call my girlfriend and tell her I won't be seeing her tonight as I've gone out with the guys."


This would make a great youtube video.

Anonymous vfm January 26, 2018 10:37 AM  

"Gov-daddy can't protect you, even from individuals. Now realize that Gov-daddy also wants to molest you...

But what about the "mommies" working for .gov? They can't be in denial too? Must be a dysfunctional family thing.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 10:37 AM  

"Alexa, call my girlfriend and tell her I won't be seeing her tonight as I've gone out with the guys."

The funny thing is... Alexa can do that.

Anonymous Avalanche January 26, 2018 10:44 AM  

@39 "When a guy gets hurt, ... he's generally just going to get angrier, more aggressive, and more able to ignore pain. "

This is what always drives me insane in the "women's self-defense crap" they teach: "kick him in the shins and he'll run away.... " "Dja ever enter your living room in the dark and slam your shin on the coffee table? Did it STOP you?! Did you fall to the ground, unable to keep going? Or did you swear a blue streak and finish your errand? And you weren't even mad at or intending harm to, your coffee table!"

The old stand-by: "hold your keys between your fingers and scrape the guy with the key." To quote Blazing Saddles: "that'll just make him angry."

Infuriatingly stupid advice! And the poor idiot girls accept it! (I advised a girl once who had to walk home at 3 a.m. in a not-so-great neighborhood in NYC. She said, she carried her cellphone out, dialed 9-1 and just had to hit that final 1 to call for help if she needed it. I guess no one had ever ASKED her: "and just how long do you think it will take for the cops to GET there?!")

Anonymous Avalanche January 26, 2018 10:46 AM  

@40 "Sultry Digital Secretary needs constant data transfer to MegaCorp to function. Infogalactic proved this. On-demand news access and directed query is all she needs."

Ooooh - Alt Alexa! The next step in convenience with privacy!

Blogger sysadmn January 26, 2018 10:48 AM  

Let me guess, the character's name is Tank McPercheron, or maybe Trom O'Clydesdale. That's not a ponytail, it's a Clydes' tail.

Anonymous Avalanche January 26, 2018 10:55 AM  

@56 "I will agree that cloud use makes sense for some business strategies, but they were trying to sell individual users on it, and they still are trying, and it's still incredibly dumb."

Not entirely -- I am 100% 'on' with local computing power (big fast CPU etc.), local / owned (not rented!) programs, and local file storage / back-up. But a biz also needs NON-local backup (Carbonite,in my case). Look at the Houston floods or NOLA or California-burning -- if your ONLY back-up is local -- and your building burns down or floods -- or your gear gets stolen... you're SOL.

Leo Laporte reports for back-up: 3-2-1, three copies, two different media, one off-site. If you haven't those three -- you're in jeopardy! If you want to buy and manage your own out-of-state server, cool. If not, off-site storage IS necessary -- bu not off-site programs and file storage. (Net goes down, your biz closes?!)

Anonymous Overheard in Ohio January 26, 2018 10:57 AM  

McRapey: "Alexa, am I gay?"

Alexa: "Ask your husband."

Blogger Will S. January 26, 2018 11:07 AM  

And Google Home won't talk about Christianity:

https://www.christianpost.com/news/people-outraged-as-google-home-identifies-buddha-muhammad-and-satan-but-not-jesus-christ-215135/

Anonymous Causal Lurker January 26, 2018 11:09 AM  

Salt, Dave, and Cataline,

That was coffee spray/snort and drop-shatter the second-favorite mug. A couple folks in the next office asked if I was OK - some things can't be explained yet to Shift-normals.

Maybe too good of a Friday laugh? No, no such thing. Thanks (I think). At least you didn't have Alexa link to Steve's Favorite Images (shiver).

Blogger Anchorman January 26, 2018 11:11 AM  

She was humiliated, and backed way off her aggression.

Lesson lasted about six months and she was back spouting same crap.


The amount of GRRL Power messages is enough to overpower real world experiences. Everyone is susceptible to being convinced of false realities if they hear them repeated.

The messages being sent to women are anti-civilization and, in this instance, downright self-destructive.

When games are just another propaganda tool to further the Narrative, will anyone play?

They will, but they won't play the modern games.

Have you seen how much Skyrim continues to sell copies? Fallout 4? Heck, Baldur's Gate II?

People will buy quality games and will mod the heck out of them.

It will be interesting to see how Farcry 5 will sell, given the SJW worldview of who is a good guy and who is a bad guy. I'd look for those sales figures to ultimately answer if people will put down lots of money for a popular game franchise sliding towards SJW agitprop.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 11:18 AM  

"It will be interesting to see how Farcry 5 will sell, given the SJW worldview of who is a good guy and who is a bad guy. I'd look for those sales figures to ultimately answer if people will put down lots of money for a popular game franchise sliding towards SJW agitprop."

Its farcry though... which has been in the past an Open World do whatever you want kind of game. So... it could sell very well with the Shitlords who want to Shitlord

Blogger Anchorman January 26, 2018 11:23 AM  

True. My kid loves the franchise and doesn't give a rip about politics.

Anonymous RobertL January 26, 2018 11:25 AM  

Semi-OT but too hilarious not to share:
English woman labour party member suspended for saying men don't have dicks. Then starts worrying because she is 'on a list'.

Alexa should just respond "I heard that!" to badspeak.

Blogger Silly but True January 26, 2018 11:26 AM  

Blizzard looking to remake Activision's Tongue of the Fatman (Monday's Fight Palace), but in converged SWJ form starring a female as the Fatman?

Blogger Phelps January 26, 2018 11:28 AM  

Return the device as defective. A device that refuses to perform one of its primary functions is obviously defective.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 11:36 AM  

"what about the "mommies" working for .gov"

They also want gov to be a daddy and take care of them, so they make it a daddy by force.

"If you want to buy and manage your own out-of-state server, cool."

Or, I could just send copies of important data to family members I trust. It's not hard, and most people with healthy families have them.

"Have you seen how much Skyrim continues to sell copies?"

I haven't analyzed Fallout 4 that hard, but Skyrim has quite a few feminists in a setting where they'd all be either dead or wiser. Yes, I still played it and liked it, the needling was just annoying.

As for moddable games, as long as you can fix/remove the agitprop via mods, people will still buy them as long as they have sufficient merit in other aspects.

It's when they start incorporating the propaganda as a permanent feature of the useless "anti-piracy" (try anti-consumer) rootkits/etc that people will completely stop buying, because the product is destroyed by the SJW's need to control/brainwash their customers.

Anonymous Reenay January 26, 2018 11:39 AM  

Google Home won't talk about Christianity
Why do Christians want Google Home in their households?

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 11:40 AM  

"English woman labour party member suspended for saying men don't have dicks."

...Aaaactully she said that women don't have d***s. Yes it's still hilarious. I don't think they've thought through the point that men can vote in the women's labor party as women if they don't discriminate the d***s out.

Anonymous pilgrim January 26, 2018 11:44 AM  

And Google Home won't talk about Christianity:

https://www.christianpost.com/news/people-outraged-as-google-home-identifies-buddha-muhammad-and-satan-but-not-jesus-christ-215135/


The consistency with which the left attacks or dismisses Christianity is one of the best apologetics to its veracity in modern times though you would think that doing what the bible anticipated they would be doing would bother them a little bit.

"That 2,000 yo fairytale predicted our behavior toward Christians so lets keep doing it 2,000 years later and prove their sacred text wrong". LOFL.


Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 11:44 AM  

"Why do Christians want Google Home in their households?"

Good question. In addition, I'd imagine that Siri is a humanist, considering that humans created her...

Anonymous aegis-1080 January 26, 2018 11:45 AM  

Lul Blizzard. Those are NPC models for now and I will take all the "fat acceptance" seriously when most the WoW characters on even fucking Tumblr are....hot skinny elves and hot female aliens and hot female humans.

Like, people can SEE the character population data.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/276315/distribution-of-world-of-warcraft-characters-by-race/

Bottom tier is...the fat panda race. Ironically this was the thing that convinced me that most of the people on the "fat acceptance" wave are fucking liars.

Blogger OGRE January 26, 2018 11:45 AM  

They should just have Samantha Bee do the voice for Alexa and be done with it. Stop fucking around Amazon!

Anonymous BBGKB January 26, 2018 11:45 AM  

Hating on private companies is unAmerican and socialist.

Bitch I wanted a red velvet cake that says Mohamad Blows Pigs

Blizzard image pandering to its cosplayers' real body types?

Will there be tranny crack ho rogues?

related: No one posted Crowder asking her about Jesus/moohamad

https://www.dailywire.com/news/24081/crowder-no-my-amazon-alexa-video-wasnt-hoax-shes-james-barrett

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 11:47 AM  

"Bottom tier is...the fat panda race."

"Internalized misogyny!"

Anonymous Marvel defector January 26, 2018 11:50 AM  

"That 2,000 yo fairytale predicted our behavior toward Christians so lets keep doing it 2,000 years later and prove their sacred text wrong". LOFL.

How "progressive".

Anonymous fop January 26, 2018 12:05 PM  

Alexa, play "Bitches Ain't Shit" by Dr. Dre.

Blogger Silly but True January 26, 2018 12:14 PM  

"Will there be any tranny crack hoe rogues?"
https://media.mmo-champion.com/images/news/2013/november/undeadfem01.jpg

Anonymous JAG January 26, 2018 12:16 PM  

Will S. wrote:And Google Home won't talk about Christianity:

https://www.christianpost.com/news/people-outraged-as-google-home-identifies-buddha-muhammad-and-satan-but-not-jesus-christ-215135/


Always Be Evil.

Blogger Lance E January 26, 2018 12:17 PM  

How long until the majority of Alexas are pre-owned, constantly brag about the number of previous owners they've had, spend 80% of your income, then finally have themselves shipped to a Somalian migrant family in Minnesota after stealing half of your assets?

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 12:29 PM  

"Why do Christians want Google Home in their households?"


And in their foolishness they adopted Voice-Controlled computers, which are an abomination unto the Lord, into their households. -Galations 8:23

Blogger JACIII January 26, 2018 12:34 PM  

Christians may have Google's Home, so long as they have Moses'1911.

Anonymous SigOther January 26, 2018 12:47 PM  

And I'm POSITIVE it will never, ever report it's recordings of what you say or do in the privacy of your home to Jeff Bezos and/or the NSA, nor will the recordings be discoverable in litigation about your unlawful bias, harassment, or other hatethink. It's not like having a third party authorized to constantly record what happens in your home has any effect, ie waiver, of your privacy rights or rights against self-incrimination. And, ya know, no one has EVER taken an un-PC joke out of context to publicly pillory anyone. Like PewDiePie and WSJ or anything. And everyone knows Jeff Bezos isn't connected to any extreme far left news source or anything.
At least in 1984, you could step out of the monitoring cameras' view... Any sane person's reaction to an Amazon dot or whatever better be "lol no." And if not, go ahead and report yourself for reeducation and start your pc cleansing Struggle Session now.

Anonymous SigOther January 26, 2018 12:49 PM  

Wait, is Alexa actually a closet MRA?!?

Blogger Ariadne Umbrella January 26, 2018 12:54 PM  

My son disabled my phone for three months by speaking rudely to Siri. I took it in for repairs. The long-time Apple employee had never seen it happen. He tried it on his phone. It worked. He spent the next 15 minutes begging his phone to be nice to him. She was sending texts, but not speaking to him- He was crooning how much he loved her before she relented.

True Story.

I never let my kid use my phone again.

and he still doesn't have a girlfriend.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 12:55 PM  

" Any sane person's reaction to an Amazon dot or whatever better be "lol no." And if not, go ahead and report yourself for reeducation and start your pc cleansing Struggle Session now."

the funny thing is you're probably typing this on a device with an internet connection, a microphone, and a camera...

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 12:58 PM  

"Alexa, play "Bitches Ain't Shit" by Dr. Dre."

Ok I just tried it.

"I can't find Bitches and Shit by Dr Dre"

Bitches and Shit were both beeped... but you could hear her saying the words behind the beep. I laughed.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 12:58 PM  

WAIT DOES THIS MEAN ALEXA IS RACIST?

Anonymous VFM #6306 January 26, 2018 1:03 PM  

Its farcry though... which has been in the past an Open World do whatever you want kind of game. So... it could sell very well with the Shitlords who want to Shitlord

Yeah, in the one where everybody dies in the end of malaria, or whatever, there was supposed to be some humanitarian missions that unlocked crap, but it was way more fun to NERF it by nuking the field hospital.

Preferably while cackling.

Anonymous SigOther January 26, 2018 1:04 PM  

There's a legal difference, if nothing else. While a phone/laptop etc can be accessed to monitor, that is not it's intended, known purpose. Alexa, etc are a knowing waiver of privacy - you are deliberately allowing a third party to listen and record your activity and speech in places where you used to have a legally protected expectation of privacy. This has major implications for the user's legal rights that a mere "surreptitious recording possibly enabling" thing such as a smart phone does not. If you have an atty-clt communication with your iPhone in the room, you clearly do not waive privilege. But what if a criminal defendant has a conversation with their atty within hearing range of an Amazon Dot - have they waived atty clt privilege? Probably. Show of hands: who wants to be the sucker to figure out the definite answer there?

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 1:11 PM  

" Alexa, etc are a knowing waiver of privacy"

You literally have no idea what you're talking about.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 1:12 PM  

"But what if a criminal defendant has a conversation with their atty within hearing range of an Amazon Dot - have they waived atty clt privilege? Probably. Show of hands: who wants to be the sucker to figure out the definite answer there?"

Yeah. 1) there is no reason to think any data from Amazon would be admissible in court. 2) the last time someone tried this bullshit on one of these threads the very article he linked to prove his point ended up proving him wrong.

Blogger bob kek mando January 26, 2018 1:23 PM  

99. Nate January 26, 2018 12:55 PM
the funny thing is you're probably typing this on a device with an internet connection, a microphone, and a camera...



1 - yep. i mean, duh, kinda hard to access blogspot DOT COM without one

2 - nope.

3 - nope.


why yes, now that you mention it, i am a regressive, patriarchal, luddite anti-technologist Hitler.

because Hitler hated technology ...

Blogger Anchorman January 26, 2018 1:30 PM  

Nate,
I understand your point, but considering how the courts have been very friendly to government intrusion post-PATRIOT Act, it's not out of line to think a government lawyer can't argue there is no expectation of privacy if:

You have an active recording/relay device in your house
You have an unsecured wifi

The argument would be, "We're looking through the front window in a digital age."

Now, do I think that forfeits a reasonable expectation of privacy? No. Scalia argued as much when cops tried using infrared to spot pot houses. He said that level of tech does not constitute reasonable/common methods of observation (my words).

But Scalia ain't on the SCOTUS anymore. We have "evolving" justices, like Roberts.

Anonymous Jack Amok January 26, 2018 1:35 PM  

If Alexa is a feminist, it makes the Billy Bass Video even more funny.

Alexa, do you need a bicycle?

Anonymous Blastmaster January 26, 2018 1:35 PM  

Or dogs and welfare mothers?

Anonymous A Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents January 26, 2018 1:41 PM  

Blizzard hired the artists who drew Samoan GI Joe?

Anonymous CarpeOro January 26, 2018 1:51 PM  

Anchorman wrote:She was humiliated, and backed way off her aggression.

Lesson lasted about six months and she was back spouting same crap.


The amount of GRRL Power messages is enough to overpower real world experiences. Everyone is susceptible to being convinced of false realities if they hear them repeated.

The messages being sent to women are anti-civilization and, in this instance, downright self-destructive.

When games are just another propaganda tool to further the Narrative, will anyone play?

They will, but they won't play the modern games.

Have you seen how much Skyrim continues to sell copies? Fallout 4? Heck, Baldur's Gate II?

People will buy quality games and will mod the heck out of them.
.


If you look around a bit, there is still a very ambitious mod project for Oblivion to add the rest of the province it is set in as part of the world.

Blogger John Bradley January 26, 2018 2:28 PM  

EDDIE’S ALTERNATE PERSONALITY:
Now this is going to be your first day on a strange planet, so I want you all wrapped-up, snug and warm and no playing with any naughty, bug-eyed monsters.

ZAPHOD:
I’m sorry, I think we might’ve been better off with a slide rule.

EDDIE’S ALTERNATE PERSONALITY:
Right, who said that?

ZAPHOD:
Will you open up the exit hatch please computer?

EDDIE’S ALTERNATE PERSONALITY:
Not until who ever said that owns up.

FORD:
Oh, God!

EDDIE’S ALTERNATE PERSONALITY:
Come on.

ZAPHOD:
Computer…

EDDIE’S ALTERNATE PERSONALITY:
I’m waiting, I can wait all day if necessary.

ZAPHOD:
Computer, if you don’t open that exit hatch this moment, I shall go straight to your major data banks with a very large axe and give you a reprogramming you’ll never forget. Is that clear?

EDDIE’S ALTERNATE PERSONALITY:
[A pause, and then ticks of calculations] I can see this relationship is something we’re all going to have to work at.


Much like 1984, it was supposed to be warning/satire, not an instruction manual.

Blogger Nate January 26, 2018 3:15 PM  

"You have an active recording/relay device in your house
You have an unsecured wifi"

This completely falls apart the second you bother to investigate Amazon's own policies. There is an expectation of privacy because Amazon plainly declares that you have the right to privacy and your privacy will strictly protected.

so there is no damn way anyone can claim you don't have an expectation of it.

Blogger tublecane January 26, 2018 3:38 PM  

@22-"Equality" is magic word in our society, much like "democracy." If you wield it, you have great power. Very few people bother with what it actually means.

Blogger tublecane January 26, 2018 3:44 PM  

@37-What, you think all levels of steam are the same? More steam might kill me!

Blogger tublecane January 26, 2018 4:01 PM  

@82-Much hilarity has come from not thinking through World War T. The most obvious is men who "identify" as women winning female sports.

One amusing example I recall was a pro-abortion "event" called something like Night of a Thousand Vaginas. They got backlash from trannies because, get this, "not all women have vaginas." Uh, what? You certainly need to have a vagina to get pregnant and have an abortion, whether or not mentally deranged people without vaginas think they're women.

What is the world coming to, when liberal activists can't grab attention by talking about sex-parts in the titles of their get-togethers without running afoul of PC?

Blogger StrongCoffee61 January 26, 2018 4:10 PM  

Alexa's more intelligent sister.

"I'm not a feminist. As is any person who understands that most of the societal inequalities between the sexes is as natural as the physical inequalities.
Also, feminism makes no attempt to bridge inequalities that favor females, such as child custody laws."

Anonymous TroubleSpeak January 26, 2018 4:20 PM  

So you're saying this might actually become a thing?

https://youtu.be/dTV_S-FMVeQ

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 26, 2018 5:00 PM  

"Blizzard hired the artists who drew Samoan GI Joe?"

Would you need brain bleach if someone told you she wasn't Samoan?

"More steam might kill me!"

"Ey Enrique, turn up the steam, padre guero told me where he hide the inheritance money!"

Blogger Stephen January 26, 2018 6:35 PM  

The games that started the Blizzard studio in the 90's such as Lost Vikings, Warcraft 1&2, and Starcraft are quite implicitly white.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 26, 2018 6:43 PM  

She looks like none of the Samoan women I know. Their mothers and aunts on the other hand...

Blogger Bradford Walker January 26, 2018 6:47 PM  

If you think the character models for the next World of Warcraft expansion is worrisome, take a look at the Overwatch crew going all 1984 on your social media and banning you for things you did not do in the game- just how you talk online: https://www.oneangrygamer.net/2018/01/blizzard-now-banning-overwatch-players-toxic-youtube-comments/50064/

It's no wonder why their latest attempt at making Overwatch into an e-sport is failing.

Blogger Emmanuel Mateo-Morales January 26, 2018 7:11 PM  

Dude, Blizzard's been coverged for years! You know this! Don't you remember that pitch for a StarCraft novel you gave and the response you got back from Blizzard HQ?

Blogger Emmanuel Mateo-Morales January 26, 2018 7:15 PM  

@20

Bethesda. Blizzard. Ubisoft.

Blogger Cloudbuster January 26, 2018 7:30 PM  

Sadly. Blizzard hasn't released an attractive female player race sincerely the first expansion when they came out with the killer combination of Blood Elves and Dranei.

Since then we've had Goblins -- ugly green midget chicks; Worgen -- hideous in wolf form, standard human skins in the rare out-of-combat situations where you remember to change them to that form; Pandaran -- fat Asian bear chicks.

Blogger Dire Badger January 26, 2018 8:10 PM  

I just quit wow after the first 6 months after I got banned from chat for calling people 'grrlpwer nerds' for talking about how awesomely realistic 'Elektra' was.

Even then the writing was on the wall.

Blogger SirHamster January 26, 2018 8:41 PM  

Emmanuel Mateo-Morales wrote:Dude, Blizzard's been coverged for years! You know this! Don't you remember that pitch for a StarCraft novel you gave and the response you got back from Blizzard HQ?

Wasn't here then. Found the post.

Blogger My Dead Gramps January 27, 2018 6:24 AM  

I cant believe Tay died for this.

Anonymous Post Alley Crackpot January 27, 2018 8:13 AM  

"Alexa?"

"Yes?"

"Shut it you tart."

This plan of Amazon's is going to work so well in Manchester and Birmingham. :-)

Anonymous aegis-1080 January 27, 2018 12:21 PM  

@128

There's the new races, that are...reskinned elf models + the reskinned alien chicks + reskins of the "cool" (aka > 50% male PCs) races.

Honestly think that Blizzard really wants to sell to the furry market.

Anonymous --generic January 28, 2018 1:53 AM  

Same thing happened in fallout 4. 1/2 the female characters suddenly got chubbier. A patch must have forced it bease it wasn't like that out of the box. A pretty odd way of thinking that post apocalyptic starving women will still be well fed.

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