Compost your enemies
Alert David the Good. Composting your enemies will soon be legal in Washington:
Washington is just a governor’s signature away from becoming the first state in the U.S. to legalize the “natural organic reduction” of human remains, colloquially known as “composting.”If you haven't checked out David the Good's Grow or Die channel on Unauthorized.TV yet, you'll definitely want to do so now. Assuming you have an enemy or two, anyhow.
On Friday, the state Senate and House of Representatives finalized their approval of bill 5001 (titled “concerning human remains”), which enshrines “organic reduction” and alkaline hydrolysis, a dissolving process sometimes called “liquid cremation,” as acceptable alternatives to traditional burial and cremation.
Labels: law, Unauthorized
25 Comments:
Does David have plans for more northerly clime books? Cut firewood could sprout shoots in Florida.
Soylent Green is people. That’s a film reference, Vox.
Talk about being ahead of the growth curve!
Not long ago, I made the discover that four generations of my ancestors were buried across the river near Stockholm, Wisconsin, in a tiny country cemetery next to an abandoned church. My husband, son and I made the 20 minute drive over just to have a look. These were people I'd never known, except through old photos and records: my grandfather's great-grandma, the widow with 4 children, who made her way from Sweden was buried there, surrounded by her children and grandchildren. As I walked over the grass, I nearly sunk into it from the tenderness I felt towards them. It astounded me that the very bones that were knit together in their mothers' wombs were still there in the cool earth and I was filled with immense gratitude for all they'd endured and thankfulness that this peaceful, tucked-away little patch of earth existed for their bones. I know bodies aren't important after death, but they did once house those dear souls and I will never lose my reverence for God's design.
It about kills me that my stepmother has persuaded my father to consider cremation.
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Good news for the Big Bear and his Hoogle Cultures!
David is such a good guy, I can't believe he has any enemies to compost. But he looks like he probably would if he had to.
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I love efficiency.
Reminds me of Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri. One of the first techs to research was Recycling Tanks, which came with the flavour quote “It is every citizen’s final duty to go into the tanks.”
Beautiful.
Can you get Kuru through composted soil?
I'm assuming they have to be dead first?
If the objective is actual liquid cremation then it's just another form of disposal.
But if there is any plan to actually compost people as some means of "natural" disposal, and implies a "return to the earth" for a body, then no freaking way.
I can't think of a more polluted, diseased, and poisoned thing to put in the ground. It's almost as if pickling and sealing the dead up in boxes is doing the environment a favor. Imagine an 80 year old dead body, popping pills and treated like a garbage can for a lifetime. Probably last as long as a Twinkie at this point.
Rotting hippies: It's what plants CRAVE!
Keep up the good work, Florida Man.
When my husband died unexpectedly in 2011, I had to wait around at the hospital for couple hours till they could find the coroner: it was dinner time on a Sunday evening. Michael died suddenly of a heat-stroke-related heat attack. I've never been around a dead body before. It was 100% clear that "HE wasn't there." It was like an empty car; no driver, no ... person ... still any part of it. It looked, felt, smelled, like him -- but there was no one there. The nurse thought I was odd to ask for scissors, but when I cut off some of his hair to keep, she got it.
Another 'big learning' I got from going through that was: I used to be Medical Affairs Director for an ambulance. I've physically handled lots of unconscious people. I found Michael in the garage, dead, sitting in his 'changing his shoes after yardwork' chair. I called the ambulance and then pulled him onto the ground to begin CPR. This, despite knowing he'd likely been dead for an hour or more. {shrug} One follows one's patterns. I had never understood the physical reality of the phrase "dead weight." I suppose no one who hasn't handled an actual dead body knows how entirely different that 'weight' is from an unconscious person's body. Totally different.
I might compost an enemy, but not a loved one. I had Michael cremated, and I will be also. The idea of preserving-but-not-really a body with insanely poisonous chemicals, locking it in a box, and letting it rot underground is horrific to me. Burning with cleansing fire, and 'composting' the ashes seems WAY more preferable!
https://www.ancientfaith.com/podcasts/christianending/cremation You might like this Orthodox perspective about the reverence due to bodies.
Have some reasonable set of requirements and I can live with it. As for the matter of disposing of a body, this is allowed with animals and so I doubt there is an environmental risk. Environmentally shallow is better than deep, the body reincorporates, but not so shallow that animals dig it up.
I normally believe in laying a body to rest, not cremation or turning them into a ghoulish milorganite analog. With enemies, however, you might as well feed a tree.
“natural organic reduction” & "alkaline hydrolysis" - Shallow graves and lye are about to be legal.
#17. Condolences for your sudden loss, Avalanche.
A labor-saving tip for burials is to have the deceased dig the grave himself before he is deceased and before you throw him down in there. Just remember not to bury the shovel.
Related: Earth Day co-founder killed, composted girlfriend (h/t Instapundit). Although, I'm not sure how "composted" and "partially mummified" fit together.
I don't mind cremating the bodies of criminals and scattering their ashes.
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