Mailvox: Graduating Gamma extended
A gamma working to modify his patterns of behavior shares his thoughts on applying the Graduating Gamma series. I expect it may be helpful to others seeking to do the same.
I've been ironing out my Gamma tendencies and thought it might be helpful if I emailed in a small addendum to the Graduating Gamma series. I've noticed that a lot of Reprehensibles are also motivated to upgrade their behaviour and a few things have worked for me that might be of use to others on the same path.
I'm not a full-blown delusional Gamma but those that far gone won't be reading this anyway. I've listed some of the concepts linked to the sources right here:
Recommended reading for Gammas seeking to graduate to Delta.
SJWs Always Double Down:
I've been ironing out my Gamma tendencies and thought it might be helpful if I emailed in a small addendum to the Graduating Gamma series. I've noticed that a lot of Reprehensibles are also motivated to upgrade their behaviour and a few things have worked for me that might be of use to others on the same path.
I'm not a full-blown delusional Gamma but those that far gone won't be reading this anyway. I've listed some of the concepts linked to the sources right here:
Recommended reading for Gammas seeking to graduate to Delta.
SJWs Always Double Down:
- Know thy bad habits
- Gammas are delusional cowards
- Gammas are annoying
- Gammas pretend to be above things they are not
- the need to play team sports
- the need to develop male friends in order to stop desperately needing the approval of women
- understanding the key role of toxic shame
- understanding that controlling parents were often the cause of gamma
- 8 traits of masculine men article
- The need to lift weights
- The need to tell the truth in kindness
- The need to do what's right
- The need to accept reality instead of raging against it
- The need to accept that nobody cares about your feelings
- The need to avoid mic drops that attempt to hurt feelings and establish yourself as the secret king
- The need to learn to forgive yourself, others and more
- Learn to embrace failure and to learn to love to fight
- The need to pray for what you need usually:
- Courage
- To be able to endure negative emotions
- To forgive
- To accept
36 Comments:
One simple trick: reciprocity. Gamma has a strong element of narcissism, and you can change your character by deliberately repeating behavior to build new habits. Depending on where you're at, you might need to start very basic, like reminding yourself to return the interest of the person you just met and ask them questions back, even if you don't really feel like it because you're kind of down. Eventually it becomes natural.
The "need to forgive" makes me want to write out one particular path to enlightenment.
1. Sometimes things don't meet your expectations. That doesn't mean they're wrong.
2. If something is wrong, it doesn't mean it's anyone's fault.
3. Even if it is, stop finding ways to blame other people.
This is helpful for many people.
That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us.
Good luck to the young man.
If you need a checklist to know your social standing in life you might need some hard lessons.
Bueno.
Secret Kings are scribbling their manifestoes in cunning anonymity, to spring on an unsuspecting world! They will "show" this young renegade who escaped their ranks! Ha! Double ha! Triple ha! LMAO! (etc. etc.)
@5 What does that mean in this context? Surely we're talking about people who have HAD hard lessons, but want to know what to actually learn from them?
For example, a lot of Gammas develop as a result of failing hard, suffering terribly both emotionally and socially from it - A Hard Lesson - but what they learn from it is to never commit, never extend themselves, and develop strategies for displacing their feelings of shame. So, the lesson is hard, and what is learned is.... Gamma.
So, my question is therefor, what are you getting at? Because it sounds like just the sort of demoralizing emotional punishment that has created most Gammas, unless you've got some sort of meaning that I missed?
Responding to sincerity with snark is a definite tell.
I was going to read no more Mr. Nice Guy but the bad reviews on amazon dissuaded me. Has anybody read it? The controlling parents idea sounds interesting. Wouldn't controlling parents make someone a lazy pot smoker instead of a raging SJW gamma?
@10 I read No More Mr. Nice Guy and can recommend. Controlling parents made me both a lazy pot smoker and a delusional gamma.
Wreckage, I want to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" for the second point above; develop male friends in order to stop desperately needing the approval of women. Men will see the failure, even an epic FUBAR, and groan in sympathy or frustration. The Alpha or Beta among friends will counsel and encourage: yeah, screwups, but you can do it better next time, try this, let's work it, now go try. Coach will tell him to do a lap and get the 'try this' fixed in his head.
Women will fix the failure or victim mode by laughing in scorn and walking off, or over-nursing the hurt puppy.no internal growth, just instill or reinforce passive-aggressive behaviors.
Nate73, that makes me start looking at the poor reviews to see if it's SJW poisoning or just poorly constructed. I can pan good nuggets for use. Men impovise, adapt, and overcome.
The need to avoid mic drops that attempt to hurt feelings
See without Vox I would have gone the rest of my life thinking this was a badass and manly thing to do. These anti-gamma posts are incredibly useful for understanding how to act like a decent human
@12: Is that covered in the book? Maybe I'll check it out then. Wouldn't an Alpha on the socio-sexual scale be harsh and condemnatory to failure? A la The Apprentice?
One thing from my gamma phase that was critical in escaping was lifting. I see two main things -- one, it is something that you do. Gammas spend way, WAY too much time inside their heads. Given the option, they will "think" their way through the problem and accomplish exactly nothing. My way of dealing with problems then was to think and think until I had a clever solution, and then come up with an excuse for why it was someone else's fault my clever solution wouldn't actually work.
The second thing is that the iron doesn't lie. A 45# bar is always 45#. It doesn't give a discount, it doesn't care how tired you are. The plate is always 45#. You either lift it or you don't.
Henry Rollins' Iron and the Soul should be considered for the section on lifting. I think that it is especially good in that it is told from the viewpoint of a former (and occasionally backsliding) gamma.
https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/henry-rollins-iron-and-soul/
wreckage wrote:@5
...For example, a lot of Gammas develop as a result of failing hard, suffering terribly both emotionally and socially from it - A Hard Lesson - but what they learn from it is to never commit, never extend themselves, and develop strategies for displacing their feelings of shame. So, the lesson is hard, and what is learned is.... Gamma.
...
I watch young men struggle and fight this battle and try to find a way to compassionately challenge and motivate them. It is difficult, especially with family.
After they recognize it there is still a long, hard road to walk ahead. The world they were born into doesn't encourage it. Much like an addict trying to kick the habit and escape the monkey on their back, the battle rages every moment of every day.
@12, the compassionate female responses aren't malicious, and a dose of them can be very helpful, it's having that as the sole input, I think, that makes them damaging.
So I wonder if for a lot of us the problem of female empathy is more the how and why of habitually seeking it out, so that it becomes part of a pattern of avoidance, like a drug might be. And would that provide some explanation of some Gamma-ish behaviour patterns? The guy who rages at getting friendzoned instead of moving on with life, is he just a junkie denied his addiction?
No More Mr Nice Guy is just a guide along your journey along with Book of Bone Cracker, SJWs Always Lie, the 48 laws of Power, the Book of the 5 Rings, the Bible, the Gift of Fear, Bang, the Rational Male and others.
They all give you a piece of the puzzle.
This guy was on to something:
The second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.”
Matthew 22:39-40 LEB
https://bible.com/bible/90/mat.22.39-40.LEB
Speaking of Gammas, I was thinking of pulling the trigger on Gene Wolfe's New Sun series for my Kobo thanks to recommendations here but I noticed that Tor has publishing rights. I'm conflicted. Should I? Shouldn't I? I don't want to give Tor my money if I don't have to. xD
Becoming more spontaneous helps. It is included in most team sports. Mistakes will be made. But it's less painful because the mistakes are smaller. It's a little like going back to awkward adolescence to remake thoughts and habits. But this time they will be deliberately chosen. So become the parent of yourself that you didn't have the first time; be both harsh and forgiving. Then trust those new habits and get away from overthinking everything, trying to avoid shame. Practice by being spontaneous when the stakes are low.
I was thinking of pulling the trigger on Gene Wolfe's New Sun series for my Kobo thanks to recommendations here but I noticed that Tor has publishing rights
First, intellectual property is an invention of the State, not a universal moral principle.
Second, Tor is arguably an enemy of civilization, and they do not seem to believe in rights or property as principles anyway.
Third, you can probably get used paperbacks without a dime going to Tor.
Haxo, do you really think your comments are going to get published? No one sees them. They are nuked in moderation. No. One. Sees. Them.
Why is this such a difficult concept?
@17, yeah, you have it right, wreckage. I'll plead a lack of caffeine on the incomplete thinking through. It's that desperate need for female input, possibly as the sole or main input, that causes damage. We may seek it out as being easier to handle than male input, but it hinders our growth as men.
That's an excellent observation about Gammas, and fits nicely with the observed reality of how Gammas latch onto any female who pays more than passing attention to them. Female attention acts like a drug for them possibly from a young age, and they need more and larger fixes.
@14, Nate73, I was guessing but I hope to find an explanation like that. I read some of the 1 and 2 star reviews: assortment of SJWs and those who are easily bored by/don't see a need for self-help books. I'll read it while on vacation, and see what I can use from the book.
I'm leery of taking lessons from anything in the category of *cough* "Reality" TV. Alpha doesn't need to bellow or rage. Alpha sometimes doesn't need to speak, just make you meet his eyes and remember whose pack it is.
Looking at the Voxiversity videos, an excellent "Top Gun" Alpha example was not selected. Viper (the Top Gun commander) calls Maverick and Goose into his office for 'counseling'. While they're waiting outside, they hear the base commander explode about wanting some butts for the unauthorized tower fly-by. Viper's comment to them, as I recall: "I believe that takes care of tower fly-bys, gentlemen. Come in. [Shifts to serious focus] Why did you break the hard deck on your last mission?" Alpha didn't break a sweat, just made it plainly evident that he would drop them in a heartbeat for any further infraction, and then proceeded with a patient, loving beat-down as required. All delivered as a positive learning lesson.
"understanding that controlling parents were often the cause of gamma"
I don't think it's only controlling parents, I think it's any type of bad parenting, or just negative life stimuli in general. When I look at the Gamma traits I had when I was younger, they were caused by people telling me how smart I was. That wasn't controlling, they didn't have bad intentions, they were trying to praise me and be sincere but it was still a bad way to treat me. It stunted my drive to succeed for a long time, if I failed at something I was apathetic because "I know I'm smart."
Thinking about it, the advice to lift weights may be part of a larger truth. Test yourself against a fixed standard.
When I shoot, I always shoot a recognized course of fire or some fraction thereof. 20 or 30 shots of a 60-shot ISSF air pistol match. A full 13 rounds for an MLAIC event. But it's something that produces a record score. And I don't give a damn about beating the local talent, my goal is to shoot to the target scores I've set for myself. Then raise those scores.
Which is the key. A fixed, recognized standard. And a pursuit of excellence. The man who wants to be World Champion in any sport doesn't come to the firing line intending to "just shoot". EVERY shot is for match record score. Persistence pays off.
I was a gamma in earlier life. Put women on the pedestal and white knighted. I found No More Mr. Nice Guy to be wonderfully blunt and informative. I have also found Roosh's books Bang and Day Bang (and now Game) to be better at understanding woman's nature and how to be the kind of guy who can seduce a woman. Also, just having a practical plan of action can do a lot towards gearing the mind for abundance. Oddly enough, I was redpilled for a long time before I read any of those books, but they were the ones that helped me the most once my redpilled gamma world came crashing down around me.
@naniacprovost I'm probably going to have to pass on physical copies as I despise clutter. Ah, well...there goes that idea.
On a tangent why are gammas infested into technology and programming? Is it because the internet allows remote collaboration and/or being an anti-social jerk with no consequences?
* the need to play team sports
* the need to develop male friends in order to stop desperately needing the approval of women
* understanding the key role of toxic shame
* understanding that controlling parents were often the cause of gamma
Any one of these things is a sign of child abuse. Not playing in team sports is never because the boy doesn't want to. Either it's because the parents never give their son a real opportunity or the son was so deprived of socialization by his parents that he had no idea how to relate to other boys when the opportunity came.
So you basically discovered that a large fraction of men are the product of twenty years of nonstop child abuse. Makes sense.
Nate73 wrote:On a tangent why are gammas infested into technology and programming? Is it because the internet allows remote collaboration and/or being an anti-social jerk with no consequences?
Gammas are nerds. Those fields are dominated by nerds because nerds are book smart. It's the social interaction at which they are so poor.
A group of men to bounce ideas off of, learn from and achieve with is almost every man's ideal... But most child rearing is done by women. It's confusing.
I see it all the time here in Japan: 90% of the Japanese language teachers for foreigners are female and the male foreigners are usually surrounded by young girls so their Japanese sounds like they are 14-year-old girls. They get really confused when Japanese men don't feel like talking to them.
Boys must learn from men and men must also learn from great men.
Nate73 wrote:On a tangent why are gammas infested into technology and programming? Is it because the internet allows remote collaboration and/or being an anti-social jerk with no consequences?
No, life is not so ideal as to provide perfect environments for most. Think in terms of relative strengths and weaknesses.
Tech is relatively forgiving of physical weakness, unrewarding of physical strength, forgiving of social retardation, and unforgiving of sub-normal IQ. So strong, charming, and/or stupid people can probably make more (and more enjoyably) elsewise.
To be clear, the part that gammas in tech focus on is the wrong part, which is that stupid people aren't good at it. Yet they can get paid if someone from their Indian village is a hiring manager, so that isn't really anything to be proud of either.
The fact is that actually physically healthy and strong men are generally at least as smart (usually smarter), and just can have more satisfying and lucrative work doing something else. But the body is the sea that the brain swims in.
I suggest the book "Extreme Ownership" by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Both are retired Navy Seals and currently run a leadership consulting company. It is a great leadership book IMO. They have a second book called, "The Dichotomy of Leadership" as well.
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