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Monday, May 06, 2019

Fake baby finally arrives

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are officially parents.
Just weeks ahead of their first wedding anniversary, the couple has welcomed their first child, a baby boy. The couple confirmed the news on social media, noting that the new arrival weighs 7 lbs., 3 oz.

“The Duchess and baby are both healthy and well, and the couple thank members of the public for their shared excitement and support during this very special time in their lives,” the birth announcement said. “More details will be shared in the forthcoming days.”
Officially. Not in reality, of course. But officially....

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80 Comments:

Blogger sammibandit May 06, 2019 12:38 PM  

Glad to see "her child" is doing well per the official, unsigned announcement. Oh, that line is just hilarious.

Blogger Daniele Grech Pereira May 06, 2019 12:42 PM  

The official story is always dubious. It is also much funnier this way.

Blogger Subversive Saint May 06, 2019 12:46 PM  

Let’s see... Married nearly a year... Pregnant before wedding...Gestation 40 weeks....

Are we not supposed to notice, or just not say we noticed?

Blogger ghostfromplanetspook May 06, 2019 12:48 PM  

Can't wait for the baby to look nothing like either of them. What a train wreck.

Blogger Lazarus May 06, 2019 12:57 PM  

“How any woman does what they do is beyond comprehension.”
- Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex

Indeed, Your Royal Highness.

Blogger God Emperor Memes May 06, 2019 1:00 PM  

I can't wait to see what a half-ginger, quadroon child looks like.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine May 06, 2019 1:03 PM  

Official, as in officiated, as in the "right people" said so.

Blogger SonofLonginus May 06, 2019 1:09 PM  

I keep seeing pictures of the “happy” couple.

Weeks after the wedding, and the idiot Prince already had the cacant stare of a trapped coyote coming to terms with having to gnaw its own leg off to escape.

Moron.

Blogger ScottC May 06, 2019 1:12 PM  

Why do you think it's fake, Vox? Is it because of her age? She may have given birth weeks ago and kept it hushed up.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine May 06, 2019 1:15 PM  

Even if it were "legitimate" it's still illegitimate, because Markle is only officially married to Harry. Human law does not provide the base definition for marriage, and we all know her wedding gown shouldn't have been white.

Blogger Servant May 06, 2019 1:16 PM  

Is it not an octroon?

Blogger The Cooler May 06, 2019 1:21 PM  

Royal Octoroon...

Like a flavor you'd see on the menu in some thatch-roofed Caribbean island icecream parlor.

I'd like 2 scoops of the Royal Octoroon, please... Fuck it, go ahead and throw some sprinkles on er.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl May 06, 2019 1:22 PM  

Funny that you highlighted that quote, I rolled my eyes so hard, they nearly got stuck.
Real baby or pillow baby, this Current Year attitude of acting like women have performed some supernatural feat by giving birth, deeply annoys me.
It's just so over the top.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl May 06, 2019 1:23 PM  

I call it the ginigger.

Blogger Eincrou May 06, 2019 1:24 PM  

Please do not suggest that the baby is fake, because that would shake my trust in both the British royal family and the Fake News Media, which are two trusts that I absolutely must maintain if I want to continue my happy life in this Clown World. ��

Blogger Doktor Jeep May 06, 2019 1:31 PM  

We will never see the surrogate actually appear, even years later, with a tell-all story.

Blogger Roman Daoist May 06, 2019 1:38 PM  

I can't wait to see what a half-ginger, quadroon child looks like.

I've got it, the first photo, where the child really came from, and the cost of the entire operation, everything. There's even good intel the kid might be a bit of vegetable.. here!

Blogger Garuna May 06, 2019 1:42 PM  

What's even the point of hiding the surrogacy? In clown world, it's not like anybody's gonna do anything about it.

Blogger Dark Herald May 06, 2019 2:11 PM  

Prince Harry: WELL?

Sir Humphrey: We have found a fairly suitable replacement your Highness.

Prince Harry: Thank god. Mother would be so proud.

Duchess Me-Again: Can I stop wearing this now? It's been chafing for MONTHS!

Prince William: Shut up all of you! Sir Humphrey, define fairly suitable and where in hell is the original? That didn't used to matter before genetic testing but it damn well does now!

Blogger Stilicho May 06, 2019 2:12 PM  

@6 like Carrot Top with a spray-on tan?

Or like the biological parents? If the kid looks like LeBron James, though...

Blogger Giraffe May 06, 2019 2:16 PM  

I am disappointed that they had a boy. I was really hoping for a non-binary.

Blogger Dark Herald May 06, 2019 2:24 PM  

Giraffe wrote:I am disappointed that they had a boy. I was really hoping for a non-binary.

Give it time.

Blogger pyrrhus May 06, 2019 2:38 PM  

@21 They will let us know about his transsexual operation later on...

Blogger Meanoldbasterd May 06, 2019 2:43 PM  

How dare they assume that theybie's gender!!

Blogger Avalanche May 06, 2019 3:25 PM  

@16 "We will never see the surrogate actually appear, even years later, with a tell-all story."

Because the poor thing died in childbirth! Funny how that happened, eh?

Blogger Azimus May 06, 2019 3:26 PM  

The child that will destroy the House Windsor has been born...

Blogger Avalanche May 06, 2019 3:27 PM  

@21 "I am disappointed that they had a boy. I was really hoping for a non-binary.

You needn't be; mommy-dearest has already proclaimed they'll be raising it non-binary...

Blogger Angantyr May 06, 2019 3:35 PM  

OT - https://www.aol.com/article/news/2019/05/06/mccain-family-says-dog-drowned-after-getting-stuck-in-pipe/23722341/

Geez! What did the poor dog know?

Blogger Robert What? May 06, 2019 3:47 PM  

I wonder at what age they will give the baby his first hormone injections to go tranny?

Blogger Steve Canyon May 06, 2019 3:48 PM  

Xir MixedLot's baby shower must have been a real hoot.

Blogger riffer73 May 06, 2019 3:59 PM  

I hope they get a real fuzzy-wuzzy for the stand-in. I would laugh so hard.

Blogger carnaby May 06, 2019 4:04 PM  

The child that will destroy the House Windsor has been born...

You never know for sure, maybe he will be the child who saves it. Would make for a good book. Here's hoping he rejects his mother and father for being idiots and smashes the SJW power structure. Not probably, but not impossible.

Blogger Mahorka May 06, 2019 4:06 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger God Emperor Memes May 06, 2019 4:11 PM  

ninger

Blogger sammibandit May 06, 2019 4:19 PM  

Avalanche, she might be gearing to try and join The Club. Wealthy, mostly white women raising their kids as trannies. See Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, and incoming Zoe Saldana.

Blogger Curlytop May 06, 2019 4:29 PM  

This is the UK'S own"Birth Certificate " ala Obama given the internet is full of comparisons among William, Harry, George, Charlotte, and Louis' royal easel Announcements vs the Sussex one. Most notably lack of signatures and hand-written date.

Blogger Warunicorn May 06, 2019 4:34 PM  

Angantyr wrote:OT - https://www.aol.com/article/news/2019/05/06/mccain-family-says-dog-drowned-after-getting-stuck-in-pipe/23722341/

Geez! What did the poor dog know?


That's awful. HTF did the dog get stuck in the first place? Did they not know where the dog was?

Blogger God Emperor Memes May 06, 2019 4:54 PM  

When has adding African genetics ever improved anything?

Blogger Gen. Kong May 06, 2019 5:34 PM  

ghostfromplanetspook wrote:

Can't wait for the baby to look nothing like either of them. What a train wreck.

Maybe it will look like the Real Henry VIII. You know, the one pictured on Mary Beard's epic biography - because we wuz kangz 'n sheeit.

Blogger riffer73 May 06, 2019 5:54 PM  

First royal to rob a liquor store?

Blogger Noah B. May 06, 2019 6:00 PM  

Official, as in officiated, as in the "right people" said so.

Or official as in, mommy and daddy decided not to murder their child so now it's a person.

Blogger Unknown May 06, 2019 6:08 PM  

Azimus wrote:The child that will destroy the House Windsor has been born...

And his name is Harry.

Blogger Claudio May 06, 2019 6:14 PM  

why would this be a fake baby? not everything has to be a conspiracy. am i missing something that would make anyone think that there’s a conspiracy?

Blogger Balkan Yankee May 06, 2019 6:19 PM  

It's Damien. I just know it. /s

Blogger SciVo May 06, 2019 6:30 PM  

God Emperor Memes wrote:When has adding African genetics ever improved anything?

You are going to have define improvement. Clearly, Africanized hominids are the most powerful animals on this planet. The Neanderthals (who were probably smarter) and Denisovans are extinct. By simple Darwinian logic, African DNA was clearly better.

Blogger Ranger May 06, 2019 6:39 PM  

Fake baby is named after fake TV husband. Nothing to see here.

Blogger Robert Coble May 06, 2019 7:26 PM  

The House of Wakanda Rising. . .

Blogger liberranter May 06, 2019 7:27 PM  

The surrogate was probably dead of an "overdose" in some abandoned Glasgow council estate building weeks ago, but was just another anonymous statistic that got filed away - with a little "help," of course.

Blogger liberranter May 06, 2019 7:31 PM  

Nah, it'll be up to this baby's numbskull grandpa to do that. I'm betting that a good portion of the UK and the Commonwealth will be grimacing, groaning, and offering up tear-filled prayers on the day that Chuckie dons the crown.

Blogger Kristophr May 06, 2019 8:07 PM  

SciVo wrote:God Emperor Memes wrote:When has adding African genetics ever improved anything?

You are going to have define improvement. Clearly, Africanized hominids are the most powerful animals on this planet. The Neanderthals (who were probably smarter) and Denisovans are extinct. By simple Darwinian logic, African DNA was clearly better.


The Neanderthal/Denisovian hybrids sent six Saturn V missions to the moon.

The Purebred Africans Seem to have problems maintaining a water pump on a well without slaughtering each other, or hiring us Neanderthals to fix the fucking pump.

Blogger Anglican May 06, 2019 8:12 PM  

Show us this spawn of Harry Windsor and the half-blood princess.

Blogger CostelloM May 06, 2019 8:27 PM  

I'm happy to hear that Harry's wife and her son are doing well. Have the betting houses opened so we can put a wager on who the real father is?

Blogger sammibandit May 06, 2019 9:05 PM  

Claudio, you sound like you're new. I'll cut you some slack since I'm pretty new, but I only speak for myself. Don't rustle the natives. They won't be as cordial.

am i missing something that would make anyone think that there’s a conspiracy?

We don't ask for sources nor expect them. That tack will not fly. Would you ask a professional editor to assemble an annotated bibliography for free? No. So don't try and get piecework at the same price. Do your own leg work.

why would this be a fake baby? not everything has to be a conspiracy.

Your parents conspired to make you. And their parents them. And so on. Maybe you conspired to make life, avoid making life, ending life. Who knows. But you're a product of conspiracy, that's certain. Making a fake baby isn't such a far stretch.

Nor do we say that conspiracy is unlikely--that would be a lie--if we don't have sources already read on-hand. There's plenty of info to see if you just look.

Blogger doctrev May 06, 2019 9:15 PM  

Mahorka wrote:If the Suffolk Baby would some day become a reigning monarh, it would herald a great calamity, Three Kingdoms style.

"Ling-Di was not an offspring of Hwan-Di but adopted from Gouvernor So-and-So. "

"Cao Fang was not, in fact, an offspring of Cao Rui but a foundling. Nobody knew ehete he came from. "


Mahorka, I get the feeling that you're going to be playing a lot of Three Kingdoms when it releases later this month...

Blogger Azure Amaranthine May 06, 2019 9:58 PM  

"Real baby or pillow baby, this Current Year attitude of acting like women have performed some supernatural feat by giving birth, deeply annoys me.
It's just so over the top."


I'm actually fine with that. It's the woman's equivalent duty to men going to war.

"By simple Darwinian logic, African DNA was clearly better."

Everyone even slightly familiar with StarCraft understands the innate superiority of zerglings. Attrition is how all the most horrifying wars are won!

"not everything has to be a conspiracy."

Right, because most things are multiple overlapping conspiracies, rather than just one paltry, uninspired, derivative sabotage of rightful culture.

You do realize that any time people agree to do something that anyone else alive doesn't know about, that's a conspiracy, right?

Blogger God Emperor Memes May 06, 2019 10:23 PM  

I guess that's why Africa is such a technologically advanced place, and not at all a violent, 3rd world shithole.

Blogger CM May 06, 2019 10:26 PM  

7 lbs, 3oz for an overdue baby...

Little shrimp, that. My 2nd weighed that much at 36 weeks >.<

Blogger Claudio May 06, 2019 11:21 PM  

no, not new. just wondering what i missed. sometimes a couple we don’t like having a baby is simply a couple having a baby. i’m genuinely wondering what i’m missing here.

seriously. what am i missing here?

Blogger SciVo May 07, 2019 12:02 AM  

Kristophr wrote:The Neanderthal/Denisovian hybrids sent six Saturn V missions to the moon.

That is an excellent rhetorical argument, but logically, you're missing the part where they're all hybrids. And only a little bit at that. Would you be happy with future Americans having literally just 2-3% of American DNA?

Everyone who has ever gone to the moon -- I mean, if we're assuming anyone has -- was an Africanized hominid. Because all of the non-Africanized ones are extinct.

Whether non-African DNA can improve an organism was not the question. And it is a simple Darwinian test that African DNA resulted in survival rather than extinction.

Now, I happen to picture what happened to our more intelligent Neanderthal cousins as something like what the Ottomans did to Byzantium. Utter horror visited unjustly on a more civilized people, just because they could.

But the original question was about improvement, and so improvement needs to be defined.

Blogger Kristophr May 07, 2019 1:56 AM  

The Neanderthal DNA that was retained was that most suited to selection pressures.

As for African survival, once technology made the Sahara and the seas no longer a protective barrier, the various African nations immediately fell to imperialists, from the Arabs to the present.

Improvement is easy to define. Higher military might, better tech, and higher standards of living is the simplest definition.

We have created enormously powerful and successful trust-based civilizations, while the African continent still wallows in tribalism. We are smarter than them. Period.

Is that logical enough for you?

Blogger TheGhostlyOne May 07, 2019 3:23 AM  

This isn’t quite the situation, though, because the African DNA today is not the same as it was in the primeval era.
Congoid Africans are the result of a mixture of Homo Sapiens with another hominid species (likely a reintroduction of Homo Erectus-though we won’t know for sure until a scientist gets enough balls to identify the species).
Adding in Congoid genetics is what js implied by “African,” and to my knowledge, that’s never been good in any way other than resisting malaria and other tropical diseases.

Blogger Avalanche May 07, 2019 7:21 AM  

@58 "no, not new. just wondering what i missed. sometimes a couple we don’t like having a baby is simply a couple having a baby. i’m genuinely wondering what i’m missing here.
seriously. what am i missing here?"

Seriously, SPEND A MINUTE of your own work -- go read up on how a big Brit betting house QUIT taking bets on when the Half-Blood Prince would be born! EVER BEFORE heard of a betting house NOT taking bets on a royal birth?!? Go read up on how her "baby-bump' was an 8-month-size at 4-5 months, but a 4-5-month-size at allegedly 8.5 months... AND it 'creased' strangely when she bent over. And SOMEHOW magically, at allegedly 8 months, she was able to squat down to talk to a child -- while wearing HIGH heels AND with her knees together.

Do you even know how to use DuckDuckGo, or do you want a bunch of adults to do it for you? Cause we're not going to do it for you. Take sammi's nice advice, or my not-so-gentle advice and go look it up! Right?

Blogger Avalanche May 07, 2019 7:42 AM  

@61 "Congoid Africans are the result of a mixture of Homo Sapiens with another hominid species"

Was just reading last night Graham Hancock's new book, "America Before: The Key to Earth's Lost Civilization." Denisovan bones have been found in Siberia and from one, the entire Denisovan genome has been recovered. Graham goes into all the 'we don't talk about it' gene trails that have been not just found -- but found and confirmed! The "orthodox" are contorting their last-ditch 'this is how it happened' to try to not have to change their catechism. All referenced -- will Nature do? Science? American Journal of Human Genetics?

How on earth did Australo-Melanesian genetics get into SOUTH American 'indians' -- but not leave any genetic traces in North American 'indians' -- if all came over, allegedly in one burst through the 'ice-free corridor' from Siberia? Somehow, those will Austro-Melanesian genes lived for 20k years in "Alaska" during the Ice Age, waiting for an ice-free corridor to pass through into the Americas; but NEVER crossed genetics with those who became North American 'indians'? And once the ice-free corridor opened, they raced straight to South American, still without any gene sharing to without who ambled in North America and stayed?! Oh yeah, AND they arrived in South America long before their not-kin arrived in North America -- but they all supposedly crossed the "Alaskan" starting line together?!

"Clovis-First" has been completely debunked; the few remaining Clovis-Firster academics are fighting a lost battle. Hancock's book is fascinating. If he weren't such an apparent 'we are the world' liberal, he'd be a hero to the Right! Slaying orthodoxy left and right!

Blogger Avalanche May 07, 2019 8:15 AM  

Oh, there's a good, if too short, book trailer: https://www.dailygrail.com/2019/03/america-before-trailer-for-graham-hancocks-latest-book/

Blogger Claudio May 07, 2019 8:16 AM  

i’d heard about the betting house thing. not about the other things you mentioned. thanks for the info, tough guy.

Blogger nbfdmd May 07, 2019 10:27 AM  

@59:

If the people who still had the 3% American DNA were vastly superior to everyone else, yes that would prove something. The fact that the 3% (actually, I think it can get up to 5%) Neanderthal DNA is literally the difference between a jungle runner and Bach, only proves how cognitively advanced the Neanderthals were.

Blogger Tars Tarkas May 07, 2019 10:37 AM  

She is 37 years old and we are expected to believe she was able to conceive so easy and so quickly and have lucked out without any miscarriages at the age of 37?
I guess the added bonus here is that the public is going to believe that getting married at either 36 or 37 is no big deal and you will be pregnant in a couple of months. How much poz can there be in just one event!?!

Blogger Brick Hardslab May 07, 2019 10:45 AM  

In Green Martian years that's prime egg laying material. In human years it is always the woman who swears she is done who gets pregnant with twins while her oldest is also pregnant. The ones desperate for babies have fudged up their system with chemicals, abortions and IUD use.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd May 07, 2019 11:15 AM  

Tars Tarkas wrote:She is 37 years old and we are expected to believe she was able to conceive so easy and so quickly and have lucked out without any miscarriages at the age of 37?

Not plausible, especially for a ``former'' hooker scarred by years of drugs, STDs and abortions. Besides that, the only rational course today is to assume that whatever the government says is a lie.

Blogger liberranter May 07, 2019 12:29 PM  

Besides that, the only rational course today is to assume that whatever any government says is a lie.

FIFY, just for clarity.

Blogger Mr Darcy May 07, 2019 12:30 PM  

Ha! It's another Black Prince!

Will they call him Edward?

Blogger SciVo May 07, 2019 1:22 PM  

Claudio wrote:i’d heard about the betting house thing. not about the other things you mentioned. thanks for the info, tough guy.

Gal. Avalanche is a woman. And she keeps proving it, but that's fine. We are very accepting.

Kristophr wrote:Is that logical enough for you?

Pretty good! But it is logically impossible to demonstrate that adding one thing is worse, just because things with more of it are worse, when you're not comparing with the real thing. Could be hybrid vigor.

TheGhostlyOne wrote:This isn’t quite the situation, though, because the African DNA today is not the same as it was in the primeval era.

Congoid Africans are the result of a mixture of Homo Sapiens with another hominid species (likely a reintroduction of Homo Erectus-though we won’t know for sure until a scientist gets enough balls to identify the species).


Now that is interesting and persuasive!

Blogger Kristophr May 07, 2019 7:46 PM  

Sci Vo: "Pretty good! But it is logically impossible to demonstrate that adding one thing is worse, just because things with more of it are worse, when you're not comparing with the real thing. Could be hybrid vigor."

I go by proven results. You can argue both divine intervention, or genetics.

Regardless, Africa has been a craphole for millennia. And the population has provably lower IQ potential.

Blogger John Rockwell May 07, 2019 9:49 PM  

I am baffled as to how Prince Harry can marry such an Ugly Divorcee.

It would be more reasonable for him to marry a hot woman who happens to be of another ethnicity than his current choice of manipulative dominant bitch whose looks do not befit an ornament of royalty.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd May 07, 2019 10:19 PM  

Kristophr wrote:Regardless, Africa has been a craphole for millennia. And the population has provably lower IQ potential.

If you want to go by proven results, the provably stupid crapholians are outbreeding and displacing us. If that's happening only because smart traitors are helping them, we must question the value of smart.

Blogger Avalanche May 07, 2019 10:38 PM  

@72 "Avalanche is a woman. And she keeps proving it, but that's fine. We are very accepting."

And I am grateful for the patience and kindness of you men.

Blogger Smug Fence-Sitter May 08, 2019 2:20 AM  

Is there an official announcement date from 2018...?

I found this:

https://web.archive.org/web/20180612154120/https://www.newidea.com.au/meghan-markle-prince-harry-twins-confirmed

Which I guess means:

From and including: Tuesday, 12 June 2018
To and including: Monday, 6 May 2019
Result: 329 days
It is 329 days from the start date to the end date, end date included.
Or 10 months, 25 days including the end date.

Blogger sammibandit May 09, 2019 9:40 AM  

That "baby" is way too long and straight for a newborn. He should be kind of rolled up from being in the womb.

Blogger Unknown May 09, 2019 1:35 PM  

Avalanche wrote:"Clovis-First" has been completely debunked

The redskins who bred with the Clovis people stayed in North America. The redskins who didn't breed with them were the ones who kept moving until they reached South America. Thus the difference between north and south redskins. The south redskins seem older than the north redskins only because they are pure.

Blogger sammibandit May 09, 2019 4:09 PM  

It's always interesting to go into oral history of tribes. In Peru the locals talk about giant, blonde or redheaded ancestors. On the other coast up by Washington we have tribes that say they migrated to the region after the descendants, a grandmother and child, survived a great flood.

Avalanche, you were curious about how black Amerindians got to South America. There's a specimen from that group at a site called Monte Verde that dates to ~20,000 BC (I do not like BP or BCE for reckoning dates). Archaeologists speculate that negritoes from India or Aborigines from Pacifica travelled to South America on boat. I don't know how valid that is because the South Seas by Antarctica are not so nice to navigate. But given that the specimen is from the extreme south of the continent, migrating down the entire Pacific coast doesn't sound credible to me. What's significant also is that this predates Clovis.

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