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Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Prediction: spectacularly bad

The Wheel of Time wasn't any good in book form. One shudders to think how bad it will be by the time Amazon gets through with it:
Amazon’s highly anticipated TV series adaptation of the beloved book series The Wheel of Time has found its star. It was announced today that Oscar-nominated actress Rosamund Pike will play the lead role of Moiraine in the TV adaptation of Robert Jordan’s fantasy novels.

The Wheel of Time is set in a sprawling, epic world where magic exists, but only women can use it. Meaning that in this series — women hold the keys to power. The story follows Moiraine, a member of the shadowy and influential all-female organization called the ‘Aes Sedai’ as she embarks on a dangerous, world-spanning journey with five young men and women. Moiraine’s interested in these five because she believes one of them might be the reincarnation of an incredibly powerful individual, whom prophecies say will either save humanity or destroy it. The series draws on numerous elements of European and Asian culture and philosophy, most notably the cyclical nature of time found in Buddhism and Hinduism.
The Wheel of Time had a very good introduction. Then it promptly started going downhill in the first chapter and didn't stop until it reached its nadir at Book Seven. But it was essentially unreadable beginning with Book Four. It's never a good sign when a series is said to improve by its fans after the author's death. I very much doubt the TV series will survive to the finish either.

I am, however, genuinely curious to learn who will play the most annoying character in fantasy literature, Rand al'Thor. Whoever he is, one hopes that he will possess a sufficiently punchable face in order to properly play the part. I suggest David Hogg.

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80 Comments:

Blogger Dr Caveman June 19, 2019 4:29 PM  

God, I remember struggling my way to WoT way back in college. The author kept introducing new people, places and events with each installment, without even culling the herd George Martin style.
I gave up after reasons 900 page volume where absolutely nothing happened, except that all storylines advanced a week or two.

Blogger The Lizard King June 19, 2019 4:36 PM  

I've never read Wheel Of Time, but reading the last paragraph I am now burning to know more about the character of Rand al'Thor and his role in the story he is in.

Blogger Silent Draco June 19, 2019 4:48 PM  

For comic relief, cast Chuck Norris as the Old Wolf who teaches Perrin the ropes. Dreadlords dreading the Roundhouse Kick. That would pull a lot of viewers for pieces of 4 episodes.

I read to about Book 8 in segments, just skipping the massive repeats and the minor character text walls. I skimmed the last book lightly, looking for an ending. Stopped looking, thought seriously about editing a library book with a blowtorch. Book 4 is definitely where the plot lines went squirrel. Then he lost complete control of the plot, and might have started losing his mind.

I'll only freak a bit if young Clericus adopts a stray dog in the end of ASoS, and we discover it's a vizsla. After seeing a vizsla license plate frame locally, that'd be a bit much. Who is this SDL and how much reach does he really have?

Blogger Nostromo June 19, 2019 4:50 PM  

Yeah. It would have been the perfect world if that damn creator preferred women over men as his avatar. Even at that, the penultimate battle came down to a dick measuring contest between al'Thor, and whomever the villain was. Spoiler alert!!

(It was a draw)

Blogger VFM #7634 June 19, 2019 4:51 PM  

It's never a good sign when a series is said to improve by its fans after the author's death.

Hmm... so is Brandon Sanderson any good otherwise? Although considering he's a modern author whose works aren't promoted by Castalia House, I'm not optimistic.

Blogger Ben Cohen June 19, 2019 4:53 PM  

Vox what do you think of Brandon sandersons new book series? Secret king Kaladin?

Blogger Dr Caveman June 19, 2019 4:53 PM  

He has Word Salad Syndrome, though not as bad as Robert Jordan, and the annoying tendency to blow up a one book story into an endless multi volune epic

Blogger Latigo3 June 19, 2019 5:02 PM  

Yeah, the plot went all over the place. Large sections of several books were unreadable. It should have ended after the second book.

Blogger Jpacka June 19, 2019 5:10 PM  

What is recommended reading from the posters here? I haven't read any of WoT in along time but I did enjoy it in high school. I also have enjoyed Sanderson's and David Gemmel's writing but I am not a literary critic, any suggestions?

Blogger Dave Dave June 19, 2019 5:10 PM  

I can't stand the fantasy names since Tolkien. Tolkien grounded his names in some sort of linguistic logic, even if they were made up languages. Now, fantasy writers think up whatever sounds absurd and expect it to work. It rarely does.

Blogger Mocheirge June 19, 2019 5:16 PM  

Dr Caveman wrote:I gave up after reasons 900 page volume where absolutely nothing happened, except that all storylines advanced a week or two.

WoT was a soap opera in book form by the third or fourth volume. I never finished the fifth, but I can't imagine it improved at all in the nine accretions of verbiage that followed. Decent soap writers at least know when to have your bland main character jump from Widows Hill and let the vampire take over. Good writers wouldn't have a bland main character to begin with.

The Lizard King wrote:I've never read Wheel Of Time, but reading the last paragraph I am now burning to know more about the character of Rand al'Thor and his role in the story he is in.

Rand was a passive emo secret king. I can't remember him acting at all, just being acted upon. Kind of like how David Hogg just happens to be there at events.

Blogger Matt Robison June 19, 2019 5:22 PM  

I enjoyed WOT until until book 7, and it slogged until book 11. Sanderson finished it pretty strongly.

A lot of Sanderson's other stuff is a lot of fun, some it verging on the very good. Check out Steelheart, his YA superhero dystopian novel, which is probably one of his best.

I mostly admire his work ethic and his ability to consistently put out quality work.

Blogger VFM #7634 June 19, 2019 5:24 PM  

I can't stand the fantasy names since Tolkien. Tolkien grounded his names in some sort of linguistic logic, even if they were made up languages. Now, fantasy writers think up whatever sounds absurd and expect it to work. It rarely does.

I wouldn't be surprised if the Eragon method of making up fantasy names has become the most common one.

Blogger tublecane June 19, 2019 5:26 PM  

Do we really have to follow a 40 year-old actress? Is that the only age at which they're allowed to pop off the marquee? At least with Lena Headey on Game of Thrones she was a bit younger and a mother of three children.

Blogger GK Chesterton June 19, 2019 5:27 PM  

I can proudly say I've never read it. Though it is too bad, I'm not good with actor(ess) names but the lead was in one of the best music video's produced, "Voodoo In My Blood". She pull of a genuinely mad character without saying anything.

Blogger Crew June 19, 2019 5:31 PM  

Having just read part of Chuck Dixon's Levon Cade omnibus I think it should be made into a series!

Blogger James Dixon June 19, 2019 5:32 PM  

> Whoever he is, one hopes that he will possess a sufficiently punchable face in order to properly play the part. I suggest David Hogg.

Folks, this is an award winning cruelty artist at work. Do not try this at home. :)

> What is recommended reading from the posters here?

Epic fantasy? Hmm. The first David Eddings series (the Belgariad) was OK. Our host has his own series he may finish eventually. I personally liked the Fionavar Tapestry, the God Stalker Chronicles, and the Book of Morgaine, but YMMV.

Blogger Jab Burrwalky June 19, 2019 5:33 PM  

I think I got to book 5? When all the female characters devolved into simpering pools of lust and lost all cohesiveness to their former narrative selves. Oh, and there was an incredibly lengthy discussion of one of the character's dresses... It got really boring, really awkward, and really exposed the mind of the pervert that wrote it.

Sanderson's got good worlds, good magic systems, and decent characters. His romance scenes are middle-school awkward and detract from the story, but they're fortunately few and far between. He is definitely getting better and better as he continues to write, but I am disappointed that he has put faggots into his books as an acceptable lifestyle. Tor books is his publisher, and I expect to see him include more degeneracy in the future because of that relationship.

Blogger tublecane June 19, 2019 5:41 PM  

By the way, I know almost nothing about this series, but I do recall it features the world of magic split into two parts, one for men and one for women. Uh, problematic! What do nonbinary otherkins use?

Also, there's probably a lot of dark me-too-iness in there. Fantasy novels from the 80s featuring lots of sexy sex couldn't poss pass muster.

Blogger VD June 19, 2019 5:47 PM  

Hmm... so is Brandon Sanderson any good otherwise?

He's pretty average. Not bad, not good either.

Blogger Dave June 19, 2019 6:00 PM  

Crew wrote:Having just read part of Chuck Dixon's Levon Cade omnibus I think it should be made into a series!

Evidently Sly Stallone had the same thought. And The Legend Chuck Dixon said he does get upset if Chuck doesn't call him Sly.

Blogger MrNiceguy June 19, 2019 6:05 PM  

Started reading the series years ago. At some point I realized, he's this far into the series and he's introducing new major characters; he's got no idea where he's going with this. I didn't even bother finishing whatever book it was.

Love the idea of David Hogg as the lead. Could be problematic for wardrobe if there's any headgear with a chin strap, though.

Blogger Crew June 19, 2019 6:05 PM  

@21: Whoa. You are correct!

https://boundingintocomics.com/2018/11/01/chuck-dixons-levon-cade-to-get-tv-adaptation-from-sylvester-stallone/

Blogger Doktor Jeep June 19, 2019 6:05 PM  

We're busy trying to meme David Hogg into Daisy Hogg for the sake of hilarity.

Blogger Riejun June 19, 2019 6:10 PM  

Well...will it be as bad as the MTV abomination Shannara Chronicles?

Blogger Don't Call Me Len June 19, 2019 6:10 PM  

It could never be as awesome as this:

http://collider.com/y-the-last-man-showrunner-eliza-clark/

Sistahs are doing it for themselves! So it's the bestest of all possible worlds, right? Besides the obvious raging transphobia, naturally.

Blogger Nate73 June 19, 2019 6:12 PM  

I'm salivating over the memes already...

Rand al'Thor - THE GAMMA REBORN

Blogger Joe Smith June 19, 2019 6:34 PM  

While Rand was excruciating to read, Nynaeve was the most annoying character in fantasy history. I'm sorry to gainsay the Dark Lord, but every time Nynaeve entered the scene I saw red. My God, I hate that character.

Also, calling Moiraine the star lead is stupid. What are they going to say when she disappears from the story for two (three? I forget exactly) whole books?

And yes, Sanderson did a better job with WoT than Jordan did. Because he's a better writer.

Blogger L'Aristokrato June 19, 2019 6:42 PM  

"Whoever he is, one hopes that he will possess a sufficiently punchable face in order to properly play the part. I suggest David Hogg."
I'll see your Hogg and raise you a Pakman.

Blogger Jay in DC June 19, 2019 6:54 PM  

There is zero chance this will be good even if the source material was Grade A which it was not. The two main reasons are very simple:

1) It is a naked cash grab. Since GoT just finished let's see if we can get some of that 'mainstream fantasy geek' mega-cash. Bzzzzt. The ship sailed. This is not uncommon. Look at World of Warcraft for your guidance. Blizzard was printing money basically and so every other also-ran company started popping out sub par shit MMOs with the exact same template / mechanics. The vast majority failed.

Expect to see this here, and with The Witcher's adaptation by Netflix which leads me to---

2) Get Woke Go Broke. This entire thing will be a political cudgel like much of what is produced today. They honed in on the strong wahmen ONLY can use magic part of the story so everything else will take a back seat to this one paradigm. The comical part is, much like Dune (which is also getting a remake that will probably be hot garbage) in WoT the MAN gets to a level of power the wahmen can only dream of.

Rand Al'Thor like Paul Muad'dib becomes this world breaking force and bitch slaps the strong powerful wahmen like Paul too. The men take this female power and are simply MUCH better at it greatly amplifying it into god tier ability. Sort of like real life... funny that. Anything women attempt out of their normal skill set some man is usually doing at 1000 times the efficiency. They will murder this little tidbit in these upcoming series. Can't break ranks with the narrative for any reason.

Blogger Lance E June 19, 2019 6:56 PM  

The Wheel of Time is set in a sprawling, epic world where magic exists, but only women can use it. Meaning that in this series — women hold the keys to power.

That's what the series is about? I remember people raving about it back when I was still reading SF, but never found the time to check it out. Hearing this now, I'm very glad that I didn't.

Blogger Jab Burrwalky June 19, 2019 7:02 PM  

Is there any fantasy/sci-fi out there these days that isn't just a propaganda vehicle for the globalist perverts?

Blogger JovianStorm June 19, 2019 7:07 PM  

I always thought that Jordan wrote that series so he could use it to impress girls and get laid.

"only women can use magic ... Women are so powerful ,I'm on your side, baby, I'm a feminist"

Blogger Azure Amaranthine June 19, 2019 7:09 PM  

It's not true that only women can use it. Rather, they hunt down and kill any men who can use it, because somehow it makes them evil.

Yeah, exactly what it sounds like.

Blogger Constantin June 19, 2019 7:09 PM  

I was tempted to buy the first book thanks to the delicious Michael Whelan cover, but that premise is so terrible I think I'm going to stay away from it. The TV Show is going to be awful, same with the Witcher. And especially the Lord of the Rings TV Show.

I actually truly hope they perform poorly so they kill any incentive from Hollywood to adapt any other classic fantasy works. Tolkien's brand will survive the hit, and I couldn't care less about WoT and Witcher.

At least Robert E. Howard's works have been spared from tv shows. For now.

Blogger 1100 June 19, 2019 7:09 PM  

I have to ask myself a question because we live in such 'empowered' times.

What would it take for a man to gain the magical powers that only a female can have? Is it enough for him to identify and act/look like woman? Or does he have to go all the way and have surgery to turn his parts inside out and take hormones to 'become' a female?

Inquiring minds want to know, but I guess we will just have to see how much outrage the sensitive trannie community shows about the SEXIST female only powers.

Blogger Rex Leroy King June 19, 2019 7:14 PM  

Perrin, Mat, Lan, and Aviendha were interesting. The chief bitch-queen of the Bene Gesserit who got deposed and fell in love was also kind of okay.

Blogger tublecane June 19, 2019 7:19 PM  

@35- There was briefly a Conan show in the era of Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: the Legendary Journeys. Plus the John Milius movie series.

There was an atrocious Solomon Kane movie about ten years ago. Which from what I saw was like any other horror-fantasy CGI action-fest, except the main character talked in Ye Olde Englishe.

Blogger Primus Pilus June 19, 2019 7:28 PM  

Unless they've changed it for the TV show, it's not true that only women can use magic. It's that the [setting's version of Satan] corrupted the male half during a past conflict, so that men who use it inevitably go insane. If I remember correctly, the male half was explicitly more powerful as well.

A major plot point was figuring out if the male half of magic could be cleansed again, but I quit reading the series partway through the 5th book, it had become so insufferably bad, so I have no idea if/when that ever got resolved.

Blogger Ron June 19, 2019 7:29 PM  

Rosamund Pike is not a good pick for Moiraine. Rand was insufferable until he finally learned to laugh and that was under Sanderson's pen. I enjoyed the battles but the Rand/Shaitan fight was disappointing.

Blogger SJ June 19, 2019 7:32 PM  

I find him hit or miss. Some of his series don't feature a gamma as the hero which is a nice change of pace for modern fantasy. He still worships the kick ass woman to a ridiculous degree.

His last book I tried to finish was Elantris. It features a strong independent kick ass woman. You know she's a strong independent ass kicker (who is also really really smart) because the author literally tells you so over and over and over.

She then proceeds to act like a normal woman. Meaning guys do all the work and take care of everything and she's just along for the ride. I couldn't finish it.

Blogger sammibandit June 19, 2019 7:43 PM  

>What would it take for a man to gain the magical powers that only a female can have? Is it enough for him to identify and act/look like woman? Or does he have to go all the way and have surgery to turn his parts inside out and take hormones to 'become' a female?

If it's glamour/deception magic he has to fornicate with a man while pretending to be a woman to get the power. At least this is how Odin did it. Odin did a lot of degenerate things for knowledge.

OT

My Children's Lit prof used to make fun of this series a lot.

Blogger sammibandit June 19, 2019 7:44 PM  

Kevin Sorbo from Hercules is a good guy.

Blogger sammibandit June 19, 2019 7:50 PM  

>What is recommended reading from the posters here? I haven't read any of WoT in along time but I did enjoy it in high school.

My Children's Lit prof recommended Redwall in the stead of WoT, as well as Wind in the Willows for younger readers or adults looking to get a sense of childlike wonder back. Redwall he recommended especially for boys / young men. Nice British fellow.

Blogger Calvin809 June 19, 2019 7:53 PM  

I'd like to see "The Black Spider" as a movie although it's more a horror story than fantasy. It even has a strong independent woman in it.

Blogger Primus Pilus June 19, 2019 8:02 PM  

Jpacka wrote:What is recommended reading from the posters here? I haven't read any of WoT in along time but I did enjoy it in high school. I also have enjoyed Sanderson's and David Gemmel's writing but I am not a literary critic, any suggestions?

Steven Erikson's Malazan series.

Blogger lowercaseb June 19, 2019 8:09 PM  

I am, however, genuinely curious to learn who will play the most annoying character in fantasy literature, Rand al'Thor. Whoever he is, one hopes that he will possess a sufficiently punchable face in order to properly play the part. I suggest David Hogg.

It's moments like these why I am reminded why this blog is a daily visit.

Blogger Edgar Abbey June 19, 2019 8:16 PM  

I only read the first book of this series that I had hoped would be as enjoyable as the Game of Thrones books. I was barely able to make it through the book. Sad!

Blogger Brian S June 19, 2019 8:19 PM  

I started reading it in high school, took well into adulthood to get the last book. I mostly wanted it to get better as I had a long history with it, and it certainly had good moments throughout the series... But as a whole I was disappointed.

I ended alup skipping the female perspective chapters as they were tortuous. I found out later they were written by Robert's wife.

Blogger Brian S June 19, 2019 8:27 PM  

The source in WoT is magical power that can be tapped into, it had a male and a female side. Rand isn't using the female power. The male half was tainted by "the devil" at the end of the previous golden age and made male users of magic go insane, which ended in a cataclysm and reset the world.


The story picks up thousands of years later. The setting is truly epic and had a lot of potential. The writer was a free mason and navy vet.

Blogger tublecane June 19, 2019 8:39 PM  

@43- Sorbo, yes. The Hero from Mound. (Birthplace of Tonka trucks.)

In the Minnesota pantheon, I place him above Walter Mondale but below Charles Lindbergh.

Blogger Ransom Smith June 19, 2019 8:42 PM  

Hercules is the greatest fantasy show ever made.
Just the right amount of serious mixed with cheesy.

Blogger Daniele Grech Pereira June 19, 2019 9:02 PM  

That all depends if the part calls for someone who has grown pubes.

Blogger JG June 19, 2019 9:17 PM  

Am I the only one who remembers when rec.arts.sf.written stuffed Robert Jordan fans into their own subgroup to get rid of them?

Blogger sammibandit June 19, 2019 9:19 PM  

OT

Sorbo is a legit dude. Didn't know he was Minnesotan. Good attitude. I didn't see an Infogalactic page on him and wiki lead me to this article,

>https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/kevin-sorbo-why-is-hollywood-so-afraid-of-god

>"I'm not the perfect Christian, I don't pretend to be," he admitted. "I'm sure there are smarter atheists out there that can make me look like a complete fool but that's why they call it faith. If I'm wrong, I've lost nothing and if I'm right I've gained everything."

Blogger Brad June 19, 2019 9:22 PM  

Horrible series,
Completely lost interest after book 4.

Blogger Brad June 19, 2019 9:25 PM  

BTW,
Just finished Summa Elvetica and a Throne of Bones. Excellent series Vox. Looking forward to a Sea of Skulls.

Blogger Guy Incognito June 19, 2019 9:37 PM  

Men CAN use magic, they just go insane after a while because their source is tainted.

Imagine a bunch of nuns from competing orders school-marming a couple of hayseeds who happen to be reincarnated bad asses and that's the series.


I read it all, but honestly, from about book five onward I just skimmed. It's a really, really hard slog.

It just occurred to me what I hated about the series.

The characters are all NPCs. They're that one-dimensional.

Blogger Northwest Watching Thing June 19, 2019 9:44 PM  

Michael Cera was who I initially thought of for Rand al'thor, but Hogg was born for this role.
They're going to need some amazing actresses that can keep the look of pure disgust off their faces and force the bile back down their throats when playing his various love interests.

Blogger White Knight Leo #0368 June 19, 2019 10:35 PM  

I enjoyed WoT very much, but I never did read either Jordan's last book nor the ones written by Sanderson - and rereadings usually had me skipping entire chapters to get to the parts I liked.

So, yes, it was more than a bit of a drag.

Sword of Truth was much better, at least insofar as there were few enough named characters for them all to be memorable and significant.

Blogger Jack Amok June 19, 2019 10:37 PM  

I suggest David Hogg.

Wil Wheaton is a bit long in the tooth for the role.

But yes, oh good grief, with hindsight, Rand was the stereotypical Gamma Author Avatar. And wasn't WoT the source of the whole "river journey" meme?

The thing that pissed me off the most about WoT was the author took a bazillion decent plot ideas, threw them into the story and tainted them with his incompetent writing.

Blogger Meng Greenleaf June 19, 2019 10:41 PM  

I remember buying this series to read over a summer while backpacking along the East coast of AU. It was a long series and I thought it'd make good company for my trip.

The first book was pretty good (if I recall correctly). The second book started the story over again (if I recall correctly). Book three through six were a series of rinse and repeats and for me became excruciating to push through. Thus, I quit at book 6.

The funny thing is I've met people who loved the series. One person told me he liked entering a WoT book thinking, "I wonder how they're all going to get out of this one this time!". That's the fun for him. He hated GoT because *gasp* people died.

So, maybe that's the market for these books? Perhaps it's written for Teetotalers? I didn't know they were still being written. What are they up to?!

Blogger Ingot9455 June 19, 2019 10:47 PM  

My roommate listened to them on audiobook so I was forced to listen to parts.

There's this lengthy sequence where, like, okay, the world is going to end and the forces of good are all marshalling for the big final battle for all the marbles.

And the chick has gone to get all the other magical chicks to convince them that it's important and that they should use their powers for good and join the good guys trying to save the world.

And they start squabbling, and playing authority games, and punishing one another with spankings. I mean really, spankings, like the softest softcore internet porn.

And I thought, "Yeah, that is pretty much what would happen in an all-woman organization even in the face of apocalyptic doom."

Blogger Meng Greenleaf June 19, 2019 10:52 PM  

I'd be more surprised if Amazon, or anyone really, could make these books into anything remotely fun to watch.

In the modern climate of Feminists, LGBTQ2, MGTOW, etc... no way. Gone are the days of Princess Leia, Lara Croft or various Black Supermen. I can no longer watch protagonists like these with any sense of enjoyment at all. And with the White Trash backdrops in contrast - no, way. The cultural subversiveness is just too on the nose. I felt slightly physically ill while watching Bird Box specifically because it had all three: power woman, black superman, drunk white, evil white, stupid white, fat white, retarded white, and some more evil white.

No thank you.

Blogger anorganicbear June 20, 2019 12:04 AM  

@9: The Runelords trilogy by David Farland is a hidden gem. There's also the list SDL himself came up with:

http://voxday.blogspot.com/2017/08/compression-and-decompression.html

@31: In all fairness to Robert Jordan's memory, that's a very "woke-ified" description of the actual plot. Really it's about a secret king who must figure out how to stop himself from going insane and also save the world while literally everyone tries to kill him except his immediate friends.

@37: I agree with you on Mat, Perrin, and Aviendha, but Lan was just a more boring Aragorn. Might I suggest the Seanchan Empress as a more interesting character? I can't remember her name because of the sheer volume of names in the books, not because she wasn't memorable.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash June 20, 2019 12:13 AM  

Don't Call Me Len wrote:
http://collider.com/y-the-last-man-showrunner-eliza-clark/
Sistahs are doing it for themselves! So it's the bestest of all possible worlds, right? Besides the obvious raging transphobia, naturally.

If the Last Man does anything other than impregnate 16-year-olds and lead a female army conquering the world, while every woman in range fights over him, it's utterly unrealistic.

Blogger Bibliotheca Servare June 20, 2019 1:21 AM  

@tubalcane

Solomon Kane wasn't perfect, but it was a hell of a lot better than I would've expected from anyone in the vicinity of Hollywood; Solomon Kane is a nightmare of a character for those debauched, satanic worms, so seeing him treated as a serious character, rather than played as a snide caricature...I liked it. The actor did a magnificent job, possibly because he himself had great affection for Kane.

Check out Raz0rfist's review here (start at ~15:56 into the video) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=85d_UkVgeSk

Blogger Jill June 20, 2019 1:40 AM  

If there's one thing I told myself I wanted from WoT, it was the face of a true brave Hollywood political activist. Please convince Hogg to take this role.

Blogger Bibliotheca Servare June 20, 2019 2:16 AM  

Oh, @sammibandit

Yeah, Kevin Sorbo is a great guy, and a steadfast Christian as far as I can tell.

Blogger Mister Quigg June 20, 2019 3:44 AM  

The female characters are all smug know-it-alls who treat the men like naughty little boys. The only exception is a woman who dresses like a man, she's actually pleasant. Jordan seems to think of women as haughty, sneering beauties: very adolescent.

A lot of Dune rip offs: Aes Sedai are Bene Gesserit, the sand warriors are Fremen.

Began at book 6 because I bought it for 10 pence in a clearance sale, then read what I could find in no order. I liked Matt's patchy memory and the Aes S terror at strong empowered magical men, everything else was between crap and passable.

Blogger Silent Draco June 20, 2019 4:32 AM  

Break it completely, and make it a multi-part musical. Chorus lines of dancing Trollocs, led by David and the Spotlight Hoggs.

Blogger Frank Spank June 20, 2019 6:25 AM  

If it's shuddering you seek, check out this pile of steaming revolutionary gayness. It'll turn your hair curly...

http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast/episode-1028-eve-ensler

Blogger Paul M June 20, 2019 7:42 AM  

If it has more than three books, it's a serial. Like a TV sitcom, there's no story - it's just a bunch of stuff that happens, dribbling and dragging on until it's mercifully cancelled. See also: Feist's Midkemia books, and, of course, Game of Thrones.

Oh, and also the magic collar round the neck BDSM stuff. Nasty. Instantly places WoT in the same category as Goodkind's "Sword of Truth" series.

Blogger Paul M June 20, 2019 7:49 AM  

Dave Dave wrote:I can't stand the fantasy names since Tolkien.

The Star Wars names are downright loathsome. They all sound like baby-talk to me. You know they had to change "Dooku" to "Dookan" in some parts of the world? Apparently in some places it means "penis", because of course it does. Either that, or "turd". It's one of those words that just sounds obscene and childish. But most of the other names aren't any better.

Blogger Amy June 20, 2019 8:15 AM  

I wanted so desperately for WoT to work. It had a great start, but quickly devolved into repetition at a molasses-in-January pace.

The ideas were derivative of Tolkien, Herbert, et. al., as noted, but they were going somewhere. Three or four books, maybe five, would have been sufficient. I was convinced Jordan had signed a contract with Tor that paid him a premium for every word that neither a conjunction nor article, hence the length of each tome.

The annoying characters put me off. Nynaeve, yes, she was the worst, I couldn’t believe Lan wifed her and her stupid braid. I liked Mat and Perrin. The people who lived in those safe havens in forests, cannot recall their name, that was pretty cool. Loial was one who ventured out with them.

Perrin and his woman trouble though. I always thought of Perrin as the author insert, not Rand. Perrin is better written in general, and something interesting happens to him. Faile though, and the princess, I wanted to smack them both every time they opened their mouths.

I had read Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series before WoT. They tried to make SoT into a tv series on the WB but it flopped. The guy playing Richard was too young and it went off the plot within minutes. These stories aren’t easy to translate to the screen. Few have any imagination for it.

Blogger Cataline Sergius June 20, 2019 9:03 AM  

As an sample of what Amazon can do to a beloved property when it's really trying it's best, I present my review of Amazon's version of Terry Pratchett's Good Omens.

My first Impressions were fairly positive. I didn’t fall down laughing at anything because like I said, I have half-memories of all the jokes. However, this show seemed at first to be extremely, ( in fact exceptionally,) respectful of the source material. The first episode's screenplay appeared to be a nearly word for word translation to the screen.

David Tennant was absolutely running away with the show. His turn as Crowley looked like it was going to finally be the role that let him outshine his past as Doctor Who. He was absolutely dead on in his portrayal of a demon that who really does love humanity and whose best friend is angel. Crowley was the Snake in the Garden of Eden and Tennant makes an effort to shamblingly slither when he walks.

Michael Sheen on the other hand is sadly, less interesting as Aziraphale. Although he really nails coming across as a fussy used bookstore owner that hates selling his books and is “Gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide

They have gotten a lot of the sets, props and costuming right. That matters a lot when setting a tone and the production came through on that. Crowley’s 1926 Bentley was featured prominently in the book and looks nearly perfect for it’s role here. “I had it from new, you know. It wasn’t a car, it was more a sort of whole body glove.”

At this point readers of mine are probably asking: Is SJWism present?

Answer: Does a duck shit in the water? Of course it’s present. There is no way in hell it wouldn’t be but it seems to have been limited to the now de rigueur race bent casting decisions. However these weren’t so egregious as to take me out of the story like in Troy: Fall of a City. I was actually relieved that both Adam and Eve were black, as a opposed to a modern and woke mix-raced couple, as few would argue that the Garden of Eden was in Norway.

Blogger sammibandit June 20, 2019 9:41 AM  

@Snidely

>If the Last Man does anything other than impregnate 16-year-olds and lead a female army conquering the world, while every woman in range fights over him, it's utterly unrealistic.

He falls in love with a black chick after spending most of the series pining for an old girlfriend. The comic also has awful vignettes with a lesbian theatre troup. I think Mossad is involved too. The art is pretty good but the story is very pozzed.

Blogger justaguy June 20, 2019 3:05 PM  

Like most of us, I didn't like WOT. While I liked the scope and conflict set up in his world/vision, the author never really showed the ability to develop his characters in a realistic manner. When he finally showed their personality in later books, I intensely disliked them or thought them unrealistic. Series idea would have made a decent trilogy or maybe 4. This would have hidden author's weakness in character development.

Blogger Saladman June 20, 2019 5:01 PM  

I actually liked Wheel of Time when I found it as a teenager. I read fast, and there are some cool moments and a real story buried in there. But Jordan needed a stronger editor or more self-awareness to tell him to cut out the side stories and padding and finish the main arc. The series should really be half or one third as long as it is to focus on the three main characters (none of whom are Moiraine).

So theoretically a tv adaptation could benefit from cutting out the fat. It does sound like they're going to offset any possible gains from doing so by going woke. For a boomer writing in the 90's Jordan was surprisingly red-pilled on women and men, but that's the one angle I can't imagine a current year tv show being true to.

Blogger Submitted2Christ June 21, 2019 2:37 PM  

Beginning of Wot series was good but it did get unreadable....however, I enjoyed Matt's story line throughout the whole series.

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