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Sunday, July 21, 2019

Thoralina: the movie


That's right, Natalie Portman will be the next Thor. In not-entirely-unrelated news, it's not too late to get in on backing Rebel's Run.

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85 Comments:

Blogger Crew July 21, 2019 6:26 PM  

Yes. Backing Rebel's Run is a great thing to do!

Do it today!

Blogger JRH, esq. July 21, 2019 6:27 PM  

Knew they were using the comics to test run all of the gender-swapping diversity-first weirdo BS they wanted to do with the characters.

Looks like the "good" Marvel movies ended with Avengers 4.

Blogger Crew July 21, 2019 6:29 PM  

They should pair Thoralina with little Benji. 5'3 and 5'6. They would make a great super hero pair in little hats.

Blogger Crew July 21, 2019 6:32 PM  

I don't think Mjölnir would be happy with Thoralina, if she could even wield it.

Blogger Lovekraft July 21, 2019 6:34 PM  

Portman's flippinng a coin with her career and legacy. A lot depends on whether the public finally rejects SJW entertainment.

More likely is she is doing it for the money and has no real emotional investment in the legacy of this character.

Blogger tublecane July 21, 2019 6:34 PM  

Wasn't Mz. Portmanberg's character a mere human? Isn't Thor a god? How does that work, exactly? Does she perform 12 Labors to achieve apotheosis?

Blogger Mark Stoval July 21, 2019 6:36 PM  

Why are they letting a white girl do this? Should Thor not be a black Somali lez? They are racists and sexists. Maybe more stuff that I am not "woke" enough to understand.

Blogger yoghi.llama July 21, 2019 6:37 PM  

Neta-Lee Hershlag.

Blogger Watcher of the skies July 21, 2019 6:44 PM  

cant wait to see cameos by Toe Rogan and Jordan Peterson

Blogger Critias July 21, 2019 6:44 PM  

@7 I find the fact that she is cist gender and able-bodied very problematic. I mean, I feel like the directors are attacking us by not representing us. Literally shaking.

Blogger ADS July 21, 2019 6:52 PM  

It looks like she needs that greasy guido-looking dude's help to heft the stage prop hammer.

Blogger L'Aristokrato July 21, 2019 6:57 PM  

Marvel is for bugmen.

Blogger Argus Bacchus July 21, 2019 7:05 PM  

I guess this means "Thoriesha" starring Jada Pinkett Smith will have some competition.

Blogger Brett baker July 21, 2019 7:20 PM  

I would go see that disaster.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan July 21, 2019 7:20 PM  

She's a "racist" see "Annihilation", sex scenes with black actor done apart with the Jewish dude it was freak time.

Blogger Laramie Hirsch July 21, 2019 7:30 PM  

Avengers 4 was the conclusion of straight-people MCU. It's all Gay Town from here on out.

I really enjoy how the Star Wars village at Disney World is a $1 billion failure that no one goes to see. Ha ha ha! "Gosh, why don't people like this?"

Blogger Jack (LJCSOGHMOMAS) July 21, 2019 7:32 PM  

Thorerella. At midnight she turns back into a thot.

Traditionally Thor has a girdle that gives him strength. I find this very problematic as girdles are tools of oppression against fat I mean adipose girls. Non-obese Thor is sexist. And racist too, or something.

Blogger Meng Greenleaf July 21, 2019 7:33 PM  

In other news: Tessa Thompson, who says she's attracted men and wymen (but isn't bisexual), will be the first Marvel superhero to play as an openly LGBTQR2 'King' ..... looking for her 'Queen'. ALl of that an more kids, in Hollyweird's next Thor sequel!

I was reading commentary on the historical insights and observations of learned men watching their civilizations collapse ages ago: the Persians, Romans, Chinese, Japanese, Muslims, etc... and it seems that we're really ticking all the boxes - right on cue. The simplest explanation is that this is the type of society a diverse genepool produces midway through a dysgenic collapse due to mutational overload.

Historically, we'd collapse (and to be honest parts of America have). But, our technological advancements in genetics, combined with the ultra slow-pace with which mutational overload finally nails in the last few nails, leads me to believe some areas of society will thrive in the coming decades (most will starve though).

I wonder what it was like to live around healthy, good-natured and well disposed people of relatively high IQ? I bet it was fantastic.

Blogger Unknown July 21, 2019 7:38 PM  

Hello Vox! Love you and Bear!

Blogger RCR_Chris July 21, 2019 7:41 PM  

What, they couldn't find a 50 year old Nigerian carpet muncher to take the role?

Blogger dienw July 21, 2019 7:47 PM  

RCR_Chris wrote:What, they couldn't find a 50 year old Nigerian carpet muncher to take the role?

Moochelle is unavailable: she currently is running for president.

Blogger The Pitchfork Rebel July 21, 2019 7:48 PM  

So Thor is a lesbian ballerina now?

Blogger Guy Incognito July 21, 2019 7:51 PM  




Vox,
I would like to participate in the Rebel movie project.

I wasn't eligible for the first round of funding, and $2000 would bite too deeply into my family's budget.

Because the current offering is for class "B" shares, and the risk is higher than the first round of class "A" shares,
I'm not in a position to risk that much money to support the movie.

If there was a third offer to burn up any additional unsold class "b" shares at a lower initial investment, I'd be very interested. ($500-1000)

I know you've already said there's a hard limit to the amount of backers allowed on the project, but if the second round of funding isn't completely sold out at the end of the month, it seems like a great way to get a little more value for the project.

Blogger RCR_Chris July 21, 2019 7:53 PM  

@#21 dienw
Moochelle is unavailable: she currently is running for president.

Oops, forgot. And they already got a black woman to be the new James (Jamie?) Bond. Don't know if she punches the LGBTQXYZWTF card though...

Blogger The Depolrable Podunk Ken Ramsey July 21, 2019 7:55 PM  

If it's any consolation, the kids these days are getting really tired of being forced to clap for the diversity crowd all the time. Bring on the Zyklons!

Somebody said this may reflect negatively on Natalie Portman's career if it doesn't sell. Not a chance. If it bombs they will blame Trump for creating the intolerant Trumpkins who stayed home. Natalie's a Hollywood JAP with an Oscar, she's royalty.

Blogger Doug Cranmer July 21, 2019 7:55 PM  

Meng Greenleaf wrote:I wonder what it was like to live around healthy, good-natured and well disposed people of relatively high IQ? I bet it was fantastic.

It was. You'll read stories of boys in summer just heading off for the day, shooting, swimming, building, hunting, playing. And then coming home when the light started to go.

It really was like that.

Blogger cecilhenry July 21, 2019 7:56 PM  

Who would watch this??

The lie is right in the announcement....

the woman can't even hold Thor's hammer in a pre-announcement.


ITs all about envy and resentment.



Destroying white civilization is the inmost desire of the league of designated victims we call minorities.


https://i.imgur.com/OjVoKjm.png

Blogger Zaklog the Great July 21, 2019 8:13 PM  

And yet, somehow, the next Blade movie is cast with a black man, not, for instance, Lucy Liu. It's almost as if some identities get treated with respect and others do not.

Blogger Edgar Abbey July 21, 2019 8:16 PM  

They've just abandoned a big part of their audience, which is moms who just want to see a handsome, muscled actor swinging a hammer around.

Blogger Salt July 21, 2019 8:17 PM  

That film's going to get hammered at the box office.

Blogger Bucephalus July 21, 2019 8:20 PM  

That’s exactly right. It is about Envy and resentment. They can create nothing on their own, Just about every single advancement in the history of humankind is because of someone of European stock. They are filled
with hatred.
That’s why they must be crushed at every turn and Shown absolutely no mercy.

Blogger Pseudotsuga July 21, 2019 8:24 PM  

Isn't that actually a photo of Beta Ray Bill up there on the Comic-Con stage?

Blogger Jack Ward July 21, 2019 8:52 PM  

26. Doug Cranmer
Exactly. When a kid, in the outskirts of Mobile, AL, and, it was essentially rural Alabama in those days, we were near poor, but we kids would head out after breakfast, with our machetes, into the nearby woods. Or not so nearby, as it were, chop trails, build platforms 2 or 3 stories high, come back, maybe, for some lunch, head back and come back near dark. No adult worried about pedos kidnapping anyone. All the parents had shotguns or rifles. Most of kids had BB guns and carried them with the machetes for the days work. Good times to be a kid. This was 50's to early 60's.
The the progressives started their crap in the mid-60's and its been downhill since.
There probably are not enough lamp posts...

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( all aboard the Askren hype train ) July 21, 2019 8:53 PM  

7. Mark Stoval July 21, 2019 6:36 PM
Why are they letting a white girl do this?



is it really necessary that someone should have to point out that Portman is ((( white )))?

Blogger Ska_Boss July 21, 2019 8:54 PM  

The eternal procrastinator in me will wait until the deadline but I do intend on backing Rebel's Run.

Stop giving support to people who hate you!

Blogger Jack Ward July 21, 2019 8:54 PM  

By the way, Vox. I could not afford to be a full fledged supporter of Rebel Run, but, I will darn sure see the movie, buy several or more dvd's, etc. There is at least that.

Blogger Cataline Sergius July 21, 2019 9:01 PM  

I knew it was going to go downhill fast after Endgame.

But this is planting a cinder block on the accelerator.

Blogger James Dixon July 21, 2019 9:13 PM  

> I don't think Mjölnir would be happy with Thoralina, if she could even wield it.

She couldn't. Steve Rogers could, but he's the only normal human I know of that has.

Blogger Brick Hardslab July 21, 2019 9:18 PM  

Is she going to torture her prisoners in the name of girl-power. Ooh! Maybe Marvel-Khan can open her precrime New Jersey Gtmo.

Blogger Cataline Sergius July 21, 2019 9:18 PM  

It looks like they really are going with Woke Marvel after all.

Iger must think Disney is too big to fail now and he couldn't be more wrong.


Star Wars Galaxy's Edge at Disneyland is full on failure.
That park expansion cost them a billion dollars and it's flop.

A fairly major leg of the Disney Tripod is broken and now they are going after another one?

This is honestly astonishing to me.

Bob Iger's decision making process is going to be examined in business colleges for the next 50 years.

Blogger Brick Hardslab July 21, 2019 9:24 PM  

One summer night we had friends from the city over. We played out until nearly 11 way past the time we were supposed to be in but Grandma and Grandpa could hear us from the porch.

The city friend pontificated about the dangers of staying out late then added, "kids who stay out that late are doing drugs". We didn't even know what drugs looked like. As if there was any danger in our own barns and fields. City people are weird.

Blogger CitizenOutkast July 21, 2019 9:30 PM  

This is fabulous! I also hope they do Ghetto Irongirrrl who makes her first set of armor out of empty grape drank cans. Make mine Marvel!

Blogger cecilhenry July 21, 2019 10:02 PM  

Here's another Potemkin warrior in action.

This should set off an episode of cognitive dissonance in the leadership. But it won't.


https://i.imgur.com/gf1PIiN.mp4

Blogger Newscaper312 July 21, 2019 10:05 PM  

That is the director handing her the hammer, not holding it for her. Hemsworth is in the suit to the right I think.
Movie is *probably* not about her as "Thor", but will just have a scene where she gets to wield it to give all the SJWs tingles wo Marvel making lady Thor movie commitment. Yet. They could intend it as a test.
Im thinking something along the lines of the SJW PR stunt with new female black 007. They are NOT writing her as a new Bond, but rather having a bit of cake and eating it too by giving her the 007 handle while Craig as Bond is retired... But he is the star and whole point of movie is he has to come out of retirement. Again, just giving tingles for some headlines, but possibly test marketing too.

Blogger SouthRon July 21, 2019 10:07 PM  

They know exactly what they are doing and the death’s head on her top is not a coincidence.

Blogger sammibandit July 21, 2019 10:24 PM  

I saw that too, and she's pretty underdressed for a modest jewess.

Blogger MATT July 21, 2019 10:26 PM  

In the comics, Jane has cancer. I wonder if they'll go that far.

Blogger Toris July 21, 2019 10:39 PM  

Lovely backdrop. The eye symbol increasingly carpet bombing masses today clearly isn't Christian. Non-Western media going overboard too. (With BB watching Sopranos I wonder if he noticed - can't miss in later seasons) If any still want to believe/pretend it symbolises some weird, concocted humanistic-secularised 'divine being', looking ahead, guiding us with invisible hands to an inevitable progressive future, that's a lot of 'eyes of proVIDENCE' for a monotheistic world. god is in the tv indeed, Mr. Manson.

Blogger cecilhenry July 21, 2019 10:53 PM  

@44:

'That is the director handing her the hammer, not holding it for her. '


Yeah I realize that. But reality is she could never actually hold Thor's hammer.

And everyone knows it.

The unintended symbolism is too telling.

Blogger Garuna July 21, 2019 11:09 PM  

To be fair to Marvel, their hardcore fans tend to be more SJW than average. They like feminist Captain Marvel and anti-nationalist Black Panther. They even defended James Gunn after the pedo controversy.

However, Phase 4 is She-Thor, Black Widow, Angelina Jolie's Eternals, Scarlet Witch joining Dr Strange, and chinese-pandering Shang Chi.

They're gonna be shedding a lot of casuals with this slate. Maybe Shang Chi will do well.

Blogger Garuna July 21, 2019 11:11 PM  

P.S. The five TV series is just oversaturation. Especially because you have to watch them to follow the films, particularly in the case of the Scarlet Witch one.

Blogger weka July 21, 2019 11:23 PM  

The director, Tamati, is a fully converged Maori. His hatred of western culture and his wish to decolonise movies of is well known.

Blogger mike July 21, 2019 11:32 PM  

I will support your movie

Blogger Ominous Cowherd July 21, 2019 11:47 PM  

Thor, naked and petrified ... with hot grits.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd July 21, 2019 11:56 PM  

tublecane wrote:Wasn't Mz. Portmanberg's character a mere human? Isn't Thor a god? How does that work, exactly? Does she perform 12 Labors to achieve apotheosis?

The 12 labors of Natalie Portman. It sounds like a porno classic.

Blogger Bernard Korzeniewicz July 22, 2019 12:14 AM  

IMO Marvel's boxoffices already are much more money laundering operation than a genuine attendance results. Therefore viewers do not matter.

Blogger Azimus July 22, 2019 12:40 AM  

I with-hold judgement until I see the abs- err, I mean costume design...

Blogger bodenlose Schweinerei July 22, 2019 1:18 AM  

Portman's flippinng a coin with her career and legacy.

She never could pick a good script. She got lucky with the (overrated) Black Swan, but she's been a whole lot of awful films.

City people are weird.

Well they say the proximity warps their minds
'Til they're shooting one another just pass the time
And we live it appears
Both in spite and in fear of the city

Blogger One Deplorable DT July 22, 2019 1:20 AM  

Looks like Endgame was actually the end. It was a heck of a run.

Blogger Scuzzaman July 22, 2019 1:32 AM  

So Thor will be played by an actress whose most convincing line in any previous work was:

You cut my hair!

Makes perfect sense.

Blogger Joe July 22, 2019 1:38 AM  

"Tessa Thompson, who says she's attracted men and wymen (but isn't bisexual), will be the first Marvel superhero to play as an openly LGBTQR2 'King' ..... looking for her 'Queen'."

Actors are always acting. She's saying her lines. If she went off script then the media's narrative would switch to making her out to be insane, going into the hospital to be treated for "exhaustion", and playing up substance abuse problems that may or may not be true.

Blogger SciVo July 22, 2019 1:40 AM  

Yay, Thor Barbie. Just what everyone wanted. /sarc

Blogger Terrific July 22, 2019 1:42 AM  

Wasn't everyone saying with Ragnarok that they had FINALLY found their footing with the Thor character (never really popular as a comic)? Then they turn him into a fat (did anyone believe that?), weeping wuss for Endgame and now THIS?

The Golden Age of Superhero Blockbusters had to end. Blockbusters are unsustainable. Look what they did with the X-Men reboot. Two good movies, then they just had to go REALLY BIG with a near-god using Magneto to near-destroy the WHOLE world! It was BORING. But still, where do you go from there?

Oh, I know! Let's redo the EXACT SAME STORY that killed the LAST Franchise! But with characters 10x more BORING and UNLIKED as the originals!

It's like I tried to warn the Democrats. Be careful, I said. When you start out at Bat-Shit Crazy, you've go nowhere else to go!

Blogger Hieroglyph July 22, 2019 2:22 AM  

Maybe Thoralina can resolve the mystery of why Buzz Aldrin was in Antartica during the anniversary of the 'moon landing'. I swear Buzz is trolling the Big Bear now. Or sending a message! Who knows?

If I went to the movies, I would boycott Thoralina. I am boycotting all SJW infected rubbish in spirit though, and that's enough. We'll have a female Spartacus next.

Blogger Ranger July 22, 2019 3:02 AM  

I think every Thor movie has a scene of him bare-chested. Wonder if they will go the same route with Thoralina.

Blogger Gareth July 22, 2019 3:07 AM  

Vox, can people outside of the US invest in this?
Sadly I was ruled out of the first round of funding.

Blogger John Rockwell July 22, 2019 4:02 AM  

Strong and Masculine. Just as the Wahmen like it.

Blogger Zwiebel July 22, 2019 4:37 AM  

I'm currently reading my way through Georgette Heyer, a mid-century novelist of recency romances.

It was, indeed, fantastic.

Blogger McChuck July 22, 2019 4:56 AM  

"So... all of you dumbasses that decide to bash a female Thor... There have been a bunch of different Thors, YES INCLUDING JANE FOSTER! Thor dies, Jane Foster picks up the hammer and is worthy, so yeah... it's canon."

That comic book line failed to sell. Stay classy, and keep insulting the fans.

Blogger McChuck July 22, 2019 5:02 AM  

Natalie's best performance was in "The Professional", where 12 year old Neta-Lee Hershlag plays Mathilda, an overly sexualized 12 year old wanna-be killer. Huh. Go figure.

Blogger Harambe July 22, 2019 5:24 AM  

Mark Stoval wrote:Why are they letting a white girl do this? Should Thor not be a black Somali lez? They are racists and sexists. Maybe more stuff that I am not "woke" enough to understand.



Jews ain't white for the purposes of diversity

Blogger Sillon July 22, 2019 6:14 AM  

McChuck wrote:"So... all of you dumbasses that decide to bash a female Thor... There have been a bunch of different Thors, YES INCLUDING JANE FOSTER! Thor dies, Jane Foster picks up the hammer and is worthy, so yeah... it's canon."

That comic book line failed to sell. Stay classy, and keep insulting the fans.


I remember the classic 70's female Thor.

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/23/82/c0/2382c07766bbfef89cdcfba0142240be--female-thor-jane-foster.jpg

It was a one off comic, one of those "what if" that Marvel used to publish, similar to "spiderman woman" in which the cover showed MJ as if she was Spiderman, there have been a lot of those over the year, I have fond memories of them because they were genuinely funny.

Not like the current SJW trend.

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 22, 2019 6:33 AM  

"fully converged Maori"
So, a Maori. I was the only White kid in my class one year - I know full well they ALL hate us.

Blogger Brian Dean July 22, 2019 7:04 AM  

Any chance we can see a female hero (like Wonder Woman) being played by a man who identifies as a woman?

Blogger Mr.MantraMan July 22, 2019 8:01 AM  

If Thoralina is supposed to be a shit test I am not impressed, because who can be impressed by the sad insecure people who think this is some big bad jab at "The White Man?"

Blogger wahr01 July 22, 2019 8:32 AM  

It's amusing watching the ticks of social justice embed themselves in a 20-year-dead corpse of a comic industry long since vanquished by the manga invasion.

It's sort of like watching from the USA as some tin-pot sub-saharan hole engages in civil war by machete.

Blogger sykes.1 July 22, 2019 9:11 AM  

@24 RCR_Chris

LGBTQXYZWTF

WTF. Loving it.

Blogger Gregory the Great July 22, 2019 9:29 AM  

I think she should be paired with Thorazine

Blogger Nostromo July 22, 2019 9:45 AM  

My mom's 83 and she still squee's when she sees Chris Hemsworth, or Pratt.

Blogger Nostromo July 22, 2019 9:54 AM  

Apparently the Hawkeye series is him training some chick to be Lady Hawkeye, which was in the comics. And then theres Blackwidow, which will be like female Ghostbusters. I didn't notice a Captaon Marvell II, during their display for phase 4. I'm sure it's just an oversight. After all we were assured that it was a big, big, hit, and we know Hollywood absolutely makes sequels ad nauseum.

Blogger The Only Cigar in the Box July 22, 2019 10:38 AM  

Phase 1 - 3 were mostly great. Things started to waver a bit in Phase 3. But it was a great wrap up with Infinity War and Endgame.

Whether by SJW or the law of diminishing returns, the MCU was bound to hit an apex and then begin it's inevitable slide toward oblivion.

To me it seems like everyone with a brain understands that the party is over and it's time to move on. Which is exactly the time that the SJW critter-bugs crawl out, claim ownership, and hasten the inevitable demise.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash July 22, 2019 12:43 PM  

I'm more or less done with Marvel. They've had a good run. Endgame was pretty good, but they've told me that they are no longer really interested in whether I go to see any more of their movies, and they intend both to insult me and to deliver utter crap that will be entirely woke garbage.

Blogger braq July 22, 2019 12:45 PM  

#72 posted a pic of "canonical" Jane-as-Thor.

It depicts her hair turning blonde and her body changing as she picks up Mjolner and assumes the power of Thor. So what I want to know is: in subsequent Marvel Thor desecrations, will black-trans-handicapped Thor turn into a normally-abled white blonde person, and what will their gender be?

Blogger MichaelJMaier July 22, 2019 7:23 PM  

McChuck wrote:"So... all of you dumbasses that decide to bash a female Thor... There have been a bunch of different Thors, YES INCLUDING JANE FOSTER! Thor dies, Jane Foster picks up the hammer and is worthy, so yeah... it's canon."

That comic book line failed to sell. Stay classy, and keep insulting the fans.


Except they didn't KILL Thor. They just had THE WATCHER (Nick Fury) whisper "You're an ASSHOLE" in his ear and that somehow made him unworthy.

I knew the moment I saw "the whisper" that it was going to be later revealed to be retarded.

I was right.

Blogger MrNiceguy July 23, 2019 12:20 PM  

She'll have feminism, so yes.

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