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Sunday, August 25, 2019

Abandoning Boomer parents

A woman not unreasonably wonders why she should be expected to look after parents who didn't look after their own:
"People should think about what example they're setting for their kids. My parents didn't look after their own parents - they spent their 50s and 60s enjoying the freedom of being empty nesters and working to secure their own retirement. I'm wondering why I should do differently?"
Now, my parents did look after my grandparents until they died and I expect my brothers and I will do the same. But I don't blame the Gen Xers and Millennials who see no reason why they should bother themselves about parents who haven't shown much interest in their own parents, their children, or their grandchildren.

Labels:

170 Comments:

Blogger Miguel August 25, 2019 2:00 PM  

Yes, what I will say is a no-brainer, but, we are better than the boomers (everyone is), so we will not follow in the sins of our boomer fathers.

Blogger MATT August 25, 2019 2:04 PM  

Hope all is still well with your father, Vox

Blogger Quilp August 25, 2019 2:18 PM  

The democrats are already unanimous in wanting to give Medicare to all, illegals included. How long until they start shaming boomers about taking their social security. Little Miguel and Maria are doing without while they live in splendor. They will easily be bullied into voting themselves into the poor house, all for Pedro.

Blogger R Devere August 25, 2019 2:19 PM  

Not all of us are DINKs, who abandoned our parents! Just those freaks who celebrated the Woodstock crappola and that anti-Vietnam chit!

I was too busy working to earn my car, tuition, GF-spending money to be bothered by that hippy-dippy stuff!

Blogger Haus frau August 25, 2019 2:19 PM  

I don't see the use of nursing home and assisted living as necessarily abandoning parents. We had a lot of family drama, including abuse and probably intentional illegal drugging of my nanna by her own daughter, that led to my 92 year old nanna moving out of her home and into a nursing home. However, at no point did my side of the family abandon her. My parents closely monitored her and, with the exception of my aunt's children, nanna's grandchildren regularly visited her. She needed help and my parents could not have met the standard of care she needed. Definitely, a lot of how one spends his declining years is a lot of reaping what was sewn decades ago.

Blogger Ferdinand August 25, 2019 2:19 PM  

Reasonable. It seems to me that many Millenials and Xers were pretty close to their grandparents, myself included.

Blogger MATT August 25, 2019 2:21 PM  

It's a RETIREMENT COMMUNITY!

Blogger Crush Limbraw August 25, 2019 2:21 PM  

The fundamental reason for my presence here and on the whole net - https://crushlimbraw.blogspot.com/2019/08/memo-to-boomers-and-other-oldsters.html?m=0 - a memo to Boomers and all Oldsters: ALL this crap grew and prospered under OUR watch!
Yours and mine!
So now what?
Get to work if you're still alive!

Blogger Robert What? August 25, 2019 2:26 PM  

I'll never expect my son to care for me in my old age. That's why I have my Smith & Wesson Retirement Policy ;-)

Blogger Beau August 25, 2019 2:29 PM  

OT

I suffered a stroke two weeks ago. Speech affected. Woke up this morning thinking about God, "Thank you for life," and also, "Give me an opportunity to feed your sheep today," somehow without words.

Upon arriving at adult Sunday School I noticed Bubba sitting apart from everyone looking really distressed, so I went and sat next to him. He acknowledged me with a glance but then withdrew his eyes again. Later, the teacher asked if anyone had anything to say. Bubba stood knotting his fingers in a nervous gesture,

"My sister was murdered two weeks ago down on 2nd Street. We caught the guy, but that doesn't help her. I thank God for my friends here.."

As Bubba poured out his heart, I realized the decision to sit with him was the best thing I could do this morning.

Blogger MichaelJMaier August 25, 2019 2:35 PM  

Beau... you rock. And you ARE a rock. Thank you for being you. Godspeed your recovery.

Blogger allyn71 August 25, 2019 2:37 PM  

Hell they didn't do anything beyond the minimum for their children and grandchildren. I think that will be the greater factor to their future abandonment than how they treated their parents.

Boomers, don't be surprised that the people you didn't care about, don't care about you in the end.

Blogger Rick August 25, 2019 2:42 PM  

I divorced my parents after 50 + years. It was a one-way relationship, which is to say, not a real one at all. I did not understand them now that I’ve raised my own children. There didn’t seem to be any point maintaining any longer a fake relationship.
I don’t know if it was a boomer thing. Possibly. I think my father was a gamma and that may have sucked up all the oxygen in the room and left my mother with no identity and bitter. However, he was good looking and had no trouble finding women after his divorce (she left him). Masculine exterior, gamma interior. Maybe that is a SSH type within the general boomer category. Or all boomers are gamma (by definition) and statistically some of them are going to be good looking.

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother August 25, 2019 2:47 PM  

My Boomer mom and aunt looked after my grandmother until she passed in December, and tried to do the same for my grandfather, but he was too much of a bad ass ornery old timer to let his daughters take care of him.

Blogger David Ray Milton August 25, 2019 2:48 PM  

It’s a good point.

As an offshoot of this, I told my wife that we need to raise our kids with the traditional retirement plan in mind. We’re middle-class, perhaps one day will be upper middle class, but with the impending crisis approaching and the ever decreasing real wages being a staple of Empire life, we plan on doing the following.

1. Make lots of babies
2. Keep them close to home (homeschooling, etc)
3. Invest in the children heavily
4. Discourage them from ever moving away from home or off to college to ‘find themselves’
5. Build a compound off the grid in rural America
6. Encourage our children to live there and build their homes there
7. Let our children take care of us if/when we get old and can’t take care of ourselves

Blogger MichaelJMaier August 25, 2019 2:51 PM  

Stg58/Animal Mother wrote:My Boomer mom and aunt looked after my grandmother until she passed in December, and tried to do the same for my grandfather, but he was too much of a bad ass ornery old timer to let his daughters take care of him.



That would be me if I had ever spawned.

I'd rather die of sepsis than have someone else wipe my ass.

Blogger Scuzzaman August 25, 2019 2:55 PM  

My mother completed her Masters in Clinical Psychology when I was in my teens. One of her assignments was on a high correlation between the earlier we institutionalize our children, the earlier they institutionalize us.
(You reap what you sow —God)

Vox is, per usual, right: home school.

Blogger VD August 25, 2019 2:59 PM  

I suffered a stroke two weeks ago. Speech affected.

I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm glad to hear that you're soldiering on.

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother August 25, 2019 3:06 PM  

Beau has soldier in his DNA

Blogger Randy August 25, 2019 3:08 PM  

That's an interesting. I wonder what kind of correlation to r/K selection it has.

Blogger NewTunesForOldLogos August 25, 2019 3:14 PM  

I get a lot of flak for having so many children (fourth one on the way) from my peers. I always point out that there’s a good chance that social security probably won’t be there for me, even though I was there for it; and that my children ARE my retirement plan. My boomer dad wasn’t there for me as a kid, and I wasn’t there for him is his old age.
My children watched us care for their Great Grandmother, and care for their graves. They watch us care for their grandparents, and they’ll watch us take them in when the time comes. They watch us care for their younger siblings, and they learn from their mother in homeschooling. We don’t tell them about familial piety, we SHOW them.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl August 25, 2019 3:14 PM  

Praying for your speedy recovery, sir.

Blogger Avalanche August 25, 2019 3:15 PM  

@9 "I'll never expect my son to care for me in my old age. That's why I have my Smith & Wesson Retirement Policy"

I'm massively hoping that in the next 20 years, "they" will have developed a less ... disruptive ... method. I'd rather not leave mess behind; and they've made useful drugs SO hard to get. Well, maybe not fentanyl NOW -- but in 20 years? What dyah suppose are the shelf-life and storage requirements for it for that long?

Blogger Zorlig August 25, 2019 3:19 PM  

Yeah, just have to get to #5 before the clock runs out, wherever that will be!

Blogger widlast washere August 25, 2019 3:19 PM  

We take care of our own. All 3 grandparents who were alive when I was young lived with us at some point. My mother lives with me now.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl August 25, 2019 3:24 PM  

Now that's interesting. I have always agreed with the notion that you can tell a lot about a country by how they treat their youngest and oldest. We fail spectacularly in America on both of those metrics.
My wonderful parents recently turned 82 & 87.
Whenever they need care, I know it will be a fight among my sisters & I over who will be the primary carers. We will be tripping all over each other in order to do the most for 2 ppl who always did the most for us.

Blogger cyrus83 August 25, 2019 3:25 PM  

Grandmother lived with us right until the day she died. The other 2 living grandparents aren't close, but they have always had at least one of their children somewhat close by to keep an eye on things. Neither will willingly go into a home.

I will do what I can for my folks as the time comes, half of which is likely to involve keeping the minions of the devil in the medical and government establishments from pushing them a cheap little pill straight to hell once they run into health troubles.

Blogger Kentucky Packrat August 25, 2019 3:26 PM  

Beau wrote:OT

I suffered a stroke two weeks ago. Speech affected. Woke up this morning thinking about God, "Thank you for life," and also, "Give me an opportunity to feed your sheep today," somehow without words.


I will put you on our prayer list Beau.

I have to ask everyone to pray for my family as well. I haven't been posting for a while because of life in general, but then Milady got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We caught it relatively early, and the Lord has blessed us with effective early treatment and really good doctors, and (most importantly) a strong prayer team. However, the more praying, the better.

Blogger Sterling Pilgrim August 25, 2019 3:30 PM  

My great grandfather pulled the “I give up” trigger in a double barreled shotgun. My father told me he was losing his mind and probably didn’t know what he was doing. The man was in the lions club for 50+ years. I guess it sounds badass in a Hemingway sort of romantic machismo, but it always felt like he had decided God didn’t know best, and I reckon he died a fool.

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 3:37 PM  

Praising the Healer right that your here! Beau you are a rock. You uplifted another in person at church and moved everyone here to pray

Blogger Meanoldbasterd August 25, 2019 3:42 PM  

We are BETTER than those Nazis and won't be using any tanks or monoplanes! Dirgibles and Cavalry will PROVE how virtuous we are! CHAAAARGE!

Blogger Meanoldbasterd August 25, 2019 3:43 PM  

A CONCENTRATED retirement community!

Blogger Meanoldbasterd August 25, 2019 3:43 PM  

Dark dude... Too dark...

Blogger IrishFarmer August 25, 2019 3:44 PM  

God calls us to love and care for even our enemies, and presumably the hopeless narcissists some us call parents. It truly is a mystery of faith.

Blogger RA August 25, 2019 3:52 PM  

My parents took care of the three of their parents who survived to old age with help from their siblings. My mother took care of my father with my help until my father passed away recently. I already know that my sisters and I will be there for my mother when her turn comes. People question me about giving up sacrificing economic opportunities in order to be there for my parents. I tell them my heart is in the right place and I will not regret this choice. As far as the economics of the situation goes, I give that anxiety over to the Lord.

I made the grievous mistake of not trying as hard as I could to have children and I will pay the price for that in my own old age. That's just how that is and I have to own that.

One day after watching my father in the throes of Medicare, I was joking with my mother that I ought to be looking for the opportunity to die on my feet for a cause instead of the way my father was going. Then later I realized I was only half joking. Medicare is a bitch even when one has advocates on their behalf as my father did and my mother will have. I will very likely have no advocate of my own so I had better sort this before I get sorted. You will hear a lot of whining and whinging from people in my situation, especially women. I won't be one of them. I just pray my assets don't get stripped for Pedro before my end.

Blogger urthshu August 25, 2019 3:52 PM  

My parents are Silent and Boomer, and the article serves as a welcome reminder that I'm not alone. They were both terrible, abusive, continually gaslighting. I don't think of them often and I'm the better for it.

Blogger plishman August 25, 2019 3:59 PM  

Yes, our parents didn't care for their parents, so we won't care for them. Then our children see this and choose not to care for us.

See the game the devil's playing here?

As Shakespeare notes: The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones.

One can't put the bite on the devil by emulating him.

Blogger Rick August 25, 2019 3:59 PM  

Gaslighting. Yes.

Blogger mrpinks August 25, 2019 4:04 PM  

@Robert What : Is that you dad?

Blogger Rick August 25, 2019 4:06 PM  

Plishman, I believe that is good advise in general. There are exceptions and even Christ says one must hate his parents in order to follow Him which is Truth.

Blogger Laramie Hirsch August 25, 2019 4:11 PM  

Fantastic question.

I have so much to say about this. But to prevent scandal, I stay quiet. Let me just say that these kinds of posts very much resonate with me.

Blogger Ariadne Umbrella August 25, 2019 4:15 PM  

Beau, I had a stroke affecting speech 20 years ago. This sounds odd, but everyone is always pressured to be interesting and self-promote, so the one person who can barely speak, but ask questions and look at the person speaking, with your whole self, is, in some ways, the most valuable person in so many people's lives.

I will pray for you. It is a very lonely, heartbreaking life.

I have been online just so I can type words with people, since I have entire years of not being able to speak clearly.

Blogger weka August 25, 2019 4:16 PM  

My family is weird. No one retires until death or regulations force them. We look after each other. At times it is a PITA, but I see up close and personal how boomer greed destroys families.

We do not need to join them in that hell.

Blogger PG August 25, 2019 4:21 PM  

Someone needs to break the cycle. Parents should be taken care of and in an honorable manner, regardless of their previous poor behaviour. I see plenty of people who get power of attorney over "horrible" parents and the first thing they do is sell the house, spend the money on themselves, and bung their parents in a home somewhere to rot. Disgusting behaviour and a reflection of their own future.

We make difficult sacrifices so our children don't end up old, alone, and discarded. Elderly have the second highest suicide rate, teens take first place, both ages where control is in the hands of others.

Blogger Silent Draco August 25, 2019 4:26 PM  

Beau, I added you to my prayer list. May the LORD sustain you.

On the main topic, I think plishman has it right. Make the devil work for it. I need to go lay flowers on graves, again.

Blogger steb August 25, 2019 4:28 PM  

They just opened a time capsule from 1969. It was empty...
https://www.wmur.com/article/time-capsule-opened-to-reveal-nothing-inside

Blogger RedJack August 25, 2019 4:32 PM  

Grandpa worked till he was 77, then Grandma went to the home with what we now call Alzheimers. He then sold her house (they had both out lived their first spouse), gave the money to her kids, and moved back to the farm. Every day he drove 30 miles to town to spend the day with her. The only thing Grandpa loved more than farming is Grandma.

That is what love is.

My typical Boomer Mom is having an awakening. She pushed us all to move away, and then Dad had a stroke. She now is taking care of him in a way she never had to for us, and seeing how she focused on the wrong things.

Blogger Chris Mallory August 25, 2019 4:35 PM  

You need to start financial planning now. Look into your state laws. If a parent has to go into a nursing home, all of their assets will be taken. In Kentucky, there is even a 5 year claw back period. Say your mother quits driving, and gives her car to your daughter. Three years later she has to go into a nursing home, some times it is unavoidable. Once she burns through the assets she currently owns, the state can come looking for that car or it's value. If you are rich and can afford to pay thousands a month for the care, no problem. But if she has to go on medicaid the state will get their due.

Medicare will cover Hospice care, but they do not cover long term nursing after a set period of days. That is covered by medicaid.

Blogger Lovekraft August 25, 2019 4:46 PM  

"Confess or compensate"

Blogger Sargent.matrim August 25, 2019 4:49 PM  

I'd be interested in reading that assignment if it is at all possible.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 25, 2019 4:53 PM  

steb wrote:They just opened a time capsule from 1969. It was empty...
404
Either they pulled the story down, or...
that was the best rickroll I've seen in a long time.

Blogger James Pyrich August 25, 2019 4:55 PM  

Another Gen-X with divorced Boomer parents here. I got a bit more than the standard Boomer fare. They were quite wicked and, to the best of my knowledge, are without remorse.

I've had them out of my life for over a decade. My life immediately improved and I set about to correcting the bad trajectory I was on. Life is immeasurably better now.

We're all sinful. Nobody is perfect. But wickedness is another matter altogether. You gotta shun it or it'll eat you alive.

Blogger Doktor Jeep August 25, 2019 4:56 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Doktor Jeep August 25, 2019 5:00 PM  

Hate these touch pads... I'll try again..

Ok. I have to confess.
When I say boomers deserve to end up beaten to death in a nursing home by a West African orderly, it's not an opinion.
It's a prediction
My silent gen mother does well. My siblings and I already make plans if it don't stay that way. My home is smaller and more suitable for an oldster with bad legs, but based mom has not taken my offer to stay at my place because she has part ownership of the place she is in now. Hence denying me my Turbo Omega Ribbon with Oakleaf Cluster for the time being...except I own the basement so to speak.

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 5:05 PM  

We will all pray, praises go up, blessings of His presence...

My heart goes out to everyone and where dad and I remain isn't any better. But things will get better :)!

Instead of spending too much energy on those hurts, process them in documentation. Write about them for yourself and recall that those whom hurt you are happy they harmed you, and they dont spend a moment thinking about you. As you did all that the Lord and everyone else that cares about you is thinking about you and has your back.

After all that is over with, realize its best to place all family, friends, etc., loved ones with Lord's hand, which is never abandonment.

Blogger Robert What? August 25, 2019 5:05 PM  

@Avalanche, yeah, I would not really do the S&W thing and leave a huge mess for someone to clean up. But "Smith & Wesson Retirement Policy" has a nice poetic ring to it, unlike a "Fentanyl Retirement Policy". I don't know much about Fentanyl. Who knows if what you buy on the street is even the real thing. But I agree they should make it easier for people above a certain age to exit on their own terms.

Blogger Doktor Jeep August 25, 2019 5:05 PM  

You were still too busy caring about you car and getting laid which is why the hippy dippy stuff took over and wrecked our nation. You don't have to be part of the problem to be part of the problem, boomer.

Blogger Doktor Jeep August 25, 2019 5:07 PM  

Use a throwaway. Lest the Smith end up in some cop's collection.

Blogger Titanium Bear August 25, 2019 5:08 PM  

@Beau
Matthew 25:40 "... In as much as you have done this unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me"
God bless you in Jesus name,brother

Blogger Unknown August 25, 2019 5:10 PM  

I was taught to honor my mother and father. Simple Truth.

Blogger Clint August 25, 2019 5:15 PM  

Stg58/Animal Mother wrote:Beau has soldier in his DNA

Beau is one of the best men I have ever met. He is humble, God-fearing, and as authentic in person as he appears to be here. But....to provide evidence for his soldiery DNA...

Last year, we had a friendly competition amongst the ilk at a firing range. It was a predetermined course, shooting multiple weapons in a timed environment. Several went through the course, and Beau and I were the last two, with me going first.

I went, and came out with the top score. So Beau followed, running from station to station in the 100+ degree heat of New Mexico. He beat me soundly, earning the highest score.

Oh, did I mention that he ran between stations...knowing that he would be going in for heart surgery in a few days? Yeah, Beau is a champ in every sense of the word.

Blogger Doktor Jeep August 25, 2019 5:16 PM  

Hate your parents to follow Him? What was the context of that?

Blogger Robert What? August 25, 2019 5:18 PM  

Son, are we still on for dinner Friday evening?

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 5:25 PM  

52 exactly clay feet.

I wish dads suffering would stop, its too much on him. Daniel and Linda needs prayer.

Blogger Meng Greenleaf August 25, 2019 5:31 PM  

I thought the life-goal of the typical Boomer is to move into (/ squat at) a "retirement" trailer-park on the ocean in Florida? Then OD on pain pills and beer.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 25, 2019 5:35 PM  

Unknown wrote:I was taught to honor my mother and father. Simple Truth.
Honor does not mean "put up with".
Frankly, many parents of my generation treated their children as unfortunate accessories to their sex lives, best ignored until they go away. Mothers who walked out on their "boring" husbands so they could shack up with a series of drunks and child molesters. Dads who ditched the family because a hotter alternative became available. Parents who spent so much time pursuing money they basically left their kids to be raised by strangers and Disney.

I have a friend whose mother walked out when he was 14 so she could move in with a Peruvian. She won him by being the one of his 4 girlfriends that wound up not getting pregnant.
Do you want to tell him that he has any obligation whatsoever to her? Cause I'm sure as hell not going to do it. 15 years later and he's still reeling.
And don't think this is an exception. It was so common as to become routine.

Blogger Titanium Bear August 25, 2019 5:41 PM  

Moved back to Georgia when mom was dying. Took a job with a federal contractor. Visited often. Prepared her last meal with extended family present. Told her i loved her before she went to sleep for the last time. Dad gave away most of her stuff immediately. He pushed most of it on me. He didn't want to celebrate Christmas or birthdays with us either. We still visited, and went out with him. The last time that we went to dinner, he was driving. He started a screed, followed by waving his catcher's mitt sized hands at me. I told him off with the truth. He never abused me again. Had him over once before he died. Then he had a cerebral hemorrage. I held his hand when they took him off life support. He shook my hand as his spirit left his body. I settled his estate, dealt with treacherous relatives, and followed his dying wish. He was buried in his masonic apron. His wizard buddies from the Lodge performed a rite at his funeral

Blogger Wario's Mart August 25, 2019 5:43 PM  

Boomers' dream is to have their hips broken, their bed pails emptied on their heads and their food spat in by the diversity they love so much in the retirement homes where no one can hear the incoherent moaning. For the food.

Blogger Miguel August 25, 2019 5:44 PM  

I see your point, but using tanks or MPDs is not a sin. Not helping your own family makes you worse than an unveliever.

Blogger Timmy3 August 25, 2019 5:49 PM  

Boomer parents had the most divorces and treated it as if better for the kids. Divorce has consequences. The family is broken up. Whose parents and grandparents? No one takes responsibility when the family is destroyed.

Blogger urthshu August 25, 2019 5:54 PM  

>Someone needs to break the cycle

Gosh I wish I would have thought of that

/s

Blogger James Pyrich August 25, 2019 5:54 PM  

When your parents are wicked without remorse, honoring them takes a different tack. What I have done is to look over the choices they have made and understand that I'm primed to make similar choices, and pay close attention to the temptation to do so. I therefore honor them by respecting their failures and seeking to avoid those failures.

There may also be some good to admire within then, but them's slim pickings, all too often. But I do what I can.

Heck, I'd assume that honoring good parents involves the same kind of thing, just with very different proportions of behavior.

Blogger kebie August 25, 2019 5:55 PM  

My mom is silent generation. Her brother got her dad and she got her mom when they separated while I was a baby. My grandma lived with us until she died while I was a kid. We took my mom in after my dad passed due to lung cancer at age 59. she was 56. She lived with us for 20 years until last August. Her dementia was causing her to get nasty with my wife and kids and to forgo some basic hygiene issues. She also has the ability to fall and break bones which reached a breaking point for us so that we put her into what I think is a decent "Memory Care" facility. Luckily, between her pensions and my brothers and I kicking in we can afford the $5.2k/month to live nearby.

Blogger Dirk Manly August 25, 2019 5:59 PM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:steb wrote:They just opened a time capsule from 1969. It was empty...

404

Either they pulled the story down, or...

that was the best rickroll I've seen in a long time.


other sources

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 6:01 PM  

Is it true there are a lot of hurt children whom are now adults, is that always true?

I heard that in a circle this month.

Blogger NewTunesForOldLogos August 25, 2019 6:10 PM  

https://www.wmur.com/article/derry-time-capsule-opened-to-reveal-nothing/28751016

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 25, 2019 6:11 PM  

Miguel wrote:Not helping your own family makes you worse than an unbeliever.
Who is your family?

Blogger Mark Stoval August 25, 2019 6:16 PM  

I always get a kick out of these threads. I'll keep it to myself as to why. But I do thank our host for the post.

Honestly, I did not grow up in the same culture as many who post here. I never knew of parents who did not do all they could for their kids in my family. (one very large extended family I might add)

I never knew friends who experienced the horrors sometimes related to here.

Much later I saw some of the total dysfunctional families as a teacher after I moved to Florida to take care of my mother (90s). But it was Boomers as grandparents who were taking care of the grand-kids as momma was all drugged out most of the time.

Did boomer hell happen? Oh hell yes. I read people here talk about how their family are the pits and I believe them. I read the national stats on how intact families are becoming the minority.

What happened? Well in 1945 the USA was the only industrial super power, nuclear power, and financial power. The USA dominated the earth. Power corrupts they say and those who fought WW2 sure did ruin things in the late 40s, 50s, and 60s.

The Pill? Boomers did not invent that. Quick divorce? Not Boomers. Women should go to work rather than start families? That feminist idea was sold to boomer girls by older women. (and the Enemy of course)

The Enemy Lucifer was hard at work destroying the FAMILY long ago. The FAMILY is one of our most precious gifts from God. The Satanists went after the family and looks like they have damn near destroyed it for most. (holdouts in the rural areas of my nation and elsewhere.

Damn ... I have gone on way to long. I am done now.


...
...

PS: For God's sake, one guy got blamed for the whole mess because he was into cars and girls as a teen and did not single handedly defeat the hippies. Now that is just over the top.

Blogger artensoll August 25, 2019 6:17 PM  

I will do my duty by my boomer father because he did his duty by me. I am
however relieved that my boomer mother lives 12,000 miles away with the man she left us for who is closer to my age than hers. Let him change her nappies.

Blogger artensoll August 25, 2019 6:19 PM  

Beau, I pray for you to find the strength you need to endure.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 25, 2019 6:20 PM  

Now we hear again from Schroedinger's Boomer.

Blogger Clint August 25, 2019 6:23 PM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:Now we hear again from Schroedinger's Boomer.
He both booms and does not boom, until you pay attention?

Blogger Doktor Jeep August 25, 2019 6:27 PM  

Thanks for linking World War Two at least.
It fits now. When you run off to ancestral homelands to kill your brothers and sisters who were fighting evil, while brainlessly assuming they were the evil ones who deserved to die, you visit a curse on your own nation.
That curse is now.
And yes, the boomers pretty much just cared for their stuff and their cummies. You didn't get the memo that one of the devil's tools is hyper individuality. Apparently. Then the boomers would go on after the 60s not only doing nothing about the evils you say they didn't invent, but instead participating in the orgy of usury, middlemanship, and degeneracy they also didn't invent.

Blogger The Cooler August 25, 2019 6:40 PM  

This thread gave me the sadz.

Blogger sammibandit August 25, 2019 6:45 PM  

I've known two or three twenty-somethings expected to pay their parents back for raising them. One was a prospective interest. Hard not to nope right out of that situation. These parents didn't want rent or grocery money. They wanted 100K + paid back.

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( every man who walked on the moon was a honkey, WhiteManBad ) August 25, 2019 6:46 PM  

60. Unknown August 25, 2019 5:10 PM
I was taught to honor my mother and father. Simple Truth.




my mother told me that i wasn't in her family, quoting Bible verses as justification for saying this.

so i obeyed her.

Blogger Hammerli 280 August 25, 2019 6:48 PM  

My parents passed away fifteen years ago. I've no kids of my own. I have been helping my nieces with college, to the tune of $1K/month. Hopefully they might remember it.

Blogger Crush Limbraw August 25, 2019 7:00 PM  

"5Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful Day of the LORD. 6And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers. Otherwise, I will come and strike the land with a curse.” - Malachi (last verses)
Nuff said?

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 25, 2019 7:12 PM  

Clint wrote:He both booms and does not boom, until you pay attention?He's a Boomer, but he personaly declares he has never behaved like a Boomer, and nobody except GenXers have ever behaved like a Boomer.

He's Not Like That and none of the Boomers He Actually Knows are like that. Who are you going to believe? Your lying personal experience, or the expert announcements of a Boomer?

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 25, 2019 7:13 PM  

Definitely do NOT notice that his pronouncements are classic Boomer DARVO.

Blogger MichaelJMaier August 25, 2019 7:24 PM  

Hammerli 280 wrote:My parents passed away fifteen years ago. I've no kids of my own. I have been helping my nieces with college, to the tune of $1K/month. Hopefully they might remember it.

Good luck. I cannot even get a "thank you" text from my niece for gifts.

Blogger Unknownsailor August 25, 2019 7:26 PM  

For those of you talking about the S&W retirement plan, I hope you realize that an old man with nothing to loose is the type of threat that gives security details nightmares.

Just something to think about.

Blogger Clint August 25, 2019 7:27 PM  


Snidely Whiplash wrote:Clint wrote:He both booms and does not boom, until you pay attention?He's a Boomer, but he personaly declares he has never behaved like a Boomer, and nobody except GenXers have ever behaved like a Boomer.

He's Not Like That and none of the Boomers He Actually Knows are like that. Who are you going to believe? Your lying personal experience, or the expert announcements of a Boomer?

so you looked?

Blogger Beau August 25, 2019 7:29 PM  

Toxic parents require a great degree of wisdom, patience, and grace to be around. The pain they've inflicted pursuing their agenda can be horrifying to recount. The ruin in their wake is stunning. My wife's father is 89 years old. After a long adventure I do not wish to recount we offered to take him into our home. Prayerfully, with boundaries. We've had some real conversations - let me tell you. Over time he received Christ, got sober, started thinking of others and today he volunteers daily answering the phone helping those in need. He is loved and appreciated. Grace is not what we deserve, but it is what we need. Take courage in Christ. Perhaps you may have the great fortune to extend grace.

Blogger Emmett Fitz-Hume August 25, 2019 7:31 PM  

@10

Beau,

God bless you. We will be saying a prayer for you and Bubba tonight.

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 7:33 PM  

I AM THE ETERNAL I AM; I always have been and always will be. In MY presence you experience love and light, peace and joy. I am intimately involved in all your moments and I am training you to be aware of Me at all times, your assigment is to collaborate with Me in this training process.

I have taken up resdience within you; I am central in your innermost being.

Your mind goes off into tangents from this holy center, time after time, Do not be ashamed by your inability to remain focused on Me. Simply bring your thoughts gently back to Me each time they wander. The quicketst way to redirect your mind to me is to say My Name. 8/25

Trust Me in the midst of a messy day. Your inner calm, your peace is My Presence-need not be shaken by what is going on around you.

Though you live in this temporal world, given 24 hour segments of time is all you can handle, your innermost being is rooted and grounded in eternity. When you start to feel stressed, detach yourself from the disturbances around you. Instead of desperately striving to maintain order, control in your little world relax and remember that circumstances cannot touch my peace.

Seek my face and I will share my mind with you. Opening your eyes to see things from My perspective. Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid. The Peace I give is sufficient for you. 8/26

Jesus Calling

Author Sarah Young

my dad likes this devotional, I like it too, what do you think of this devotional? It is popular among boomers trying to hand it out to me...

Blogger God Emperor Memes August 25, 2019 7:40 PM  

I have difficulty with this one. - It seems as though it was being said to children whose parents were also supposed to be living by the same set of Rules, but how does it apply to Christians whose parents are atheists and haters of God? How do I honour people who have a completely antithetical worldview and would gladly have my children taken away from me?

Blogger Kat August 25, 2019 7:43 PM  

Beau wrote:Toxic parents require a great degree of wisdom, patience, and grace to be around.

This could be us in a few years. Given the situation I think another sibling might assume primary caregiver function, but I cannot in good conscious let the burden fall solely on them.

Blogger Kat August 25, 2019 7:50 PM  

God Emperor Memes wrote:I have difficulty with this one. - It seems as though it was being said to children whose parents were also supposed to be living by the same set of Rules, but how does it apply to Christians whose parents are atheists and haters of God? How do I honour people who have a completely antithetical worldview and would gladly have my children taken away from me?

In that situation I'd do whatever was least likely to trigger a call to CPS. If that means a nursing home 100 miles away and the grandchildren never seeing them then there are worse things in life. It's not the Churchian answer, but you don't mess around with people who think your kids would be better off in foster care.

Blogger Beau August 25, 2019 7:52 PM  

, but how does it apply to Christians whose parents are atheists and haters of God? How do I honour people who have a completely antithetical worldview and would gladly have my children taken away from me?

With tears, prayer, living your life before them so they can see you're genuine. Standing your ground on your faith and the truth. Hoping they will repent. Being at their bedside when they breathe their last. Knowing they made their choice. Keeping your word.

Blogger Beau August 25, 2019 7:53 PM  

None of this is easy.

Blogger Rabbi B August 25, 2019 8:09 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Rabbi B August 25, 2019 8:11 PM  

Beau is correct. Our sages teach that the fifth commandment, to honor one's parents, is the most difficult of all the commandments to fulfill, yet it is a commandment nonetheless and we should never shrink back from fulfilling our obligation to God in this regard. Our sages also teach that this commandment was given in the desert where that generation's parents provided nothing for their children: God made sure we were clothed, He fed us the manna everyday, and he was guiding us and providing us with spiritual teaching through Moshe Rabbeniu. In other words, we owe honor, respect, and obedience to our parents simply because God said so and it is incumbent upon us to do so, irrespective of how they have treated us over the years that it may go well with us all the days of our lives.

It is no mistake that just prior to the arrival of the Messiah, Eliyahu ha navi (Elijah) will be tasked with turning the hearts of the fathers towards their children and the hearts of the sons toward their fathers, lest He come and strike the land with a curse.

None of us chose our parents. That decision was left to Someone much wiser than us, Someone who never says "Whoops!" And so we trust that God has given us a commandment for which He will provide the grace and strength to perform, no matter how difficult or challenging it may be.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash August 25, 2019 8:22 PM  

The best honor you can do you parents is to hold fast to the good they taught you, giving them the credit for those things, and to be the best you can be.

Honoring them does not mean making yourself subject to them. It does not mean allowing them to victimize you. It does not mean destroying your family to accommodate their crazy or their evil.

Blogger Edgar Abbey August 25, 2019 8:27 PM  

My belief is that you should follow the Commandment to honor your parents. That means you take care of them when they are too old to take care of themselves. I also take it a step further. My wife's parents unwisely spent their retirement funds on my wife's brother who had gotten himself into financial trouble. And thus, my in-laws found themselves unable to afford a home. My position on the matter is that you should not live in a house if your parents are living on the street. And thus, we took them into our house because they were broke. And this was at the same time as we were raising our own 2 children. Later, they became too ill to be able to survive on their own, so it would have happened anyway. I now am looking at the prospect of my own parents becoming too ill to take care of themselves, and we have already readied a guest room for that eventuality.

Blogger Laramie Hirsch August 25, 2019 8:28 PM  

Ha! Arguing with a Boomer now on Twitter! He's advocating masturbation! My most recent reply:

"Ah. So you're giving Boomer advice. You should be doubly ignored. The wretched 20th Century generations know nothing about self-control. Anyone alive in the 21st Century should count themselves thankful they survived the Boomer womb."

Join me on Twitter?

https://twitter.com/MrsHSince82/status/1165747549526822912

Blogger Didas Kalos August 25, 2019 8:48 PM  

Ephesians 6:2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

Blogger Didas Kalos August 25, 2019 8:54 PM  

@96 you would be better off to just read the Bible instead of 'jesus calling'

Way better off.

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 9:39 PM  

Beau, you make it more understandable.

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 9:43 PM  

I will make this date a serious note of prayer and let us if us can gather, gather for wanting help, healing, love, assurance, anything.


Jesus is delivering, are you answering, He loves you, He can deliver help us anything we need, because He is a great Healer and a Knower of us all.

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 9:46 PM  

106 I understand 1973 abortion is legal hurt us but so did the previous clay feet too.

Stand and be strong, I have to be strong for family (we women are best trying to be strong for the men), Christ Centric.

Blogger Roger Hill August 25, 2019 9:50 PM  

"But I don't blame the Gen Xers and Millennials who see no reason why they should bother themselves about parents who haven't shown much interest in their own parents, their children, or their grandchildren."
The only reason would be to hopefully break the cycle of ingrained selfishness. If the children of Xers and Millennials observe them caring for their own parents (selfish as those parents may be) then perhaps some greater good may come of it.

Blogger rumpole5 August 25, 2019 9:50 PM  

My two great grandmothers were shuffled off to nursing homes when dementia set in around 1965 or so. I recall how extremely unpleasant it was seeing them in that situation, and not being able to do anything about it. I vowed to myself then that I would never allow my grandparents or parents to be in that situation if I could help, and although it took a great deal of time with my grandmother, at a time in my life when I did not have the time, and then even more time and money with my parents, all of whom survived to face dementia, they were seen off with dignity and with my siblings and me by their side. My advice is do what you know is merciful and right, not what may be just. If you do that you may have a surprising sense of peace. Do it for yourself.

Blogger roundeye August 25, 2019 9:59 PM  

All my non-Boomer parents did was love me and encourage me. I took care of my father in his old age (dotage) and delayed forming my own family a decade. But I got there.

My sisters sex in the citied and now have no family. They get to have their dozens of foreign vacations to no end, I just put my kids to bed. I hope they can sleep as easily as I will.

Blogger Doktor Jeep August 25, 2019 10:19 PM  

Considering how just about every boomer is an obese slug who spent an entire lifetime eating like a kid at a birthday party, the "bracket" is going to expand horribly.
That bracket to which I refer to is this []
At the left hand bracket, it's the start time of when the boomer is going to need someone else to wipe their ass.
The right bracket is when they finally die.
The more unhealthy a person is, the wider that bracket. What's the fattest most gluttonous slovenly generation? What's the generation that made it "normal" to have doubled their weight by middle age? What's the generation that takes a pill for everything and everybody is "on something"?
This drug overdose crises might be a blessing.

Blogger Akuma August 25, 2019 10:19 PM  

"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
-Ephesians 6:4

Boomer fathers torched Western Civilization and broke every rule in the bible. Yet they expect Gen-X and Millenial men to kow-tow to them. All they deserve is big fuck you. A date with the gallows pole is more fitting.

Blogger LP916 August 25, 2019 10:21 PM  

78.83.86 and all The Lord has your back, He is looking out for you and loves you.

Thank you 94 and onto the 100's

I know everyone will be ok per my hope in the Lord!!!

Blogger Stacey August 25, 2019 10:24 PM  

Luckily my grand parents didn't need caring for, but we did. In 1985 my mother walked away from me(15), my little brother(11) and my dad. We lived on a farm. She decided that she was missing out on real life, that farm living, children and a husband was not for her. She cheated on my dad and when he found out he actually begged her to stop, to come to her senses and they could work it out. She would have none of it. She said that my dad didn't make enough money to give her the things she wanted. That she was tired of driving broken down cars and working in hay fields. She left and never came back. Didn't even take us on weekends, and of course, paid my dad no child support. The years rolled by and she bounced from man to man, never having anything stable. My brother and I just got along without her and became indifferent toward her. My dad was completely heart broken and I don't think has ever really gotten over it.
But as you know truth is better than fiction. In 2010 something completely out of the blue befell my father. That farm that my mother hated so much, the one that was an albatross around her neck, that sucked up all my dad's time and money so that there was none left for her. Yep, that very farm just happened to be sitting smack dab in the middle of the Marcellus and Utica Shale!

She made the classic feminist move in the 80's and has lived to regret it big time, while my dad lives like a king on the farm that he adores.

My brother and I fight over who will have to take care of my mother if the time ever comes. It goes without saying that we both take the position that we're not doing it. The funny thing is, even after everything, I believe that if something serious happened, my dad would probably cover her.

Blogger Akuma August 25, 2019 10:28 PM  

"The Pill? Boomers did not invent that. Quick divorce? Not Boomers. Women should go to work rather than start families? That feminist idea was sold to boomer girls by older women. (and the Enemy of course)"

Doesn't matter who invented it. Boomers had the opportunity to create a Sovereign White Christian Nation. Instead they squandered it and accelerated the decline.

Blogger James Pyrich August 25, 2019 10:38 PM  

@116 It would be better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

I ain't even saying we do that, I'm just saying, let them enjoy their lollipops and fancy pants without us.

Blogger James Pyrich August 25, 2019 10:40 PM  

Even so, with my bitterness, I was led to pray for my parents, and I did even though I really didn't want to. And I'm better for it, I believe. Perhaps my heart will change further in the future, but I'll let God handle that.

Blogger rumpole5 August 25, 2019 10:46 PM  

Re: "I believe that if something serious happened, my dad would probably cover her."

If he is of the sterling character that you describe, then he probably would. He doubtless loves you and your brother, and that woman, however otherwise flawed she is, produced the primary objects of that love. You would do well to model that man. Thanks for the "what goes around, comes around" story. Hooray for your Dad! God bless him.

Blogger Vulgar_Display August 25, 2019 11:05 PM  

I thought my boomer parents were different until I purposely moved my family back to where we grew up so my daughter could grow up with the most family around. My parents have been retired for 3 years after my father fought off throat cancer. I asked my mom if she could watch my 3 year old while my wife and I both worked to eliminate our indentured servitude and she said she could only do it 2 days a week.

I was absolutely floored by this. We moved 1200 miles so your granddaughter could know you when all of my grandparents died while I was a baby or before I was born, and you can only muster 2 of your "busy" days a week after you forces me to pursue a useless degree?

Talk about a black pill for my Outlook on their generation. I thought my parents were different. Now my wife's parents are talking about moving to Florida and leaving us here.

We nervously joke a out the day of the pillow, but....

Blogger Laramie Hirsch August 25, 2019 11:18 PM  

Nevermind about arguing with the Boomer. I got "Boomer blocked" by him on Twitter.

Blogger Welsh Woodsman August 25, 2019 11:30 PM  

My father relied on his rich parents to raise his family. Although he worked , the jobs he chose to do paid so little that he couldn't support his family without my grandparent's help. Despite having near genius IQ he chose to work well below his potential. My grandparent's support left me and my three siblings with no inheritance at the time of their passing. Their logic was as follows: we paid to raise you - you receive no inheritance. Prior to my grandparent's passing my father did however manage to wrestle away from his sister the entire portfolio of high end apt complexes that were owned by my grandparents - which he then promptly sold - along with half of their financial trust. This allowed him and my mother to retire as millionaires. Despite their level of wealth, my wife and I have received almost nothing in the way of financial help over the years. For many years it was unbelievably challenging to make ends meet for us ...and my parents knew it- but never once volunteered to help.
Our poverty forced us to delay having a family ultimately costing us the ability to have children. By dent of herculean levels of hard work , Our fortunes have since turned and we are now in a much better spot financially. However, if I said there was no resentment against my parents , I would be lying. My dads cheapness in light of the amount he received from his parents , gnaws at me.
Currently my view is this; they have their millions - they can pay some nursing home to take care of them.

Blogger Jack Amok August 25, 2019 11:34 PM  

It is interesting that a post observing that Boomers who did little for their families should expect little elder care in return has spawned a theological discussion of what care Christians should provide to their parents. Says something about the clientele, looking for answers to what's coming. But still...

My belief is that you should follow the Commandment to honor your parents.

...while this may be true, how many Boomers kept the faith and taught it in a non-bastardized form to their children? That's not to say children raised poorly shouldn't do better. But the odds are against it.

You can spot a fool a mile away when they say "go into elder-care, there will be increasing demand as the Boomers age." Linear thinkers who believe the generations that came after the Boomers will pay for their care.

Blogger map August 25, 2019 11:37 PM  

My God...

It is horrific to read about how parents had done their kids wrong.

What is the rule? Always help your kids. If you want grandchildren and if you want your line to continue, then you should always help them. Your family will lose to all of those kids who are helped.

Blogger The Depolrable Podunk Ken Ramsey August 25, 2019 11:59 PM  

I suspect, correct me if I'm wrong, that the Boomer parents are going to have more money than their GenX offspring. And, in my experience at least, the Boomers are still the ones you find in upper management and whatnot all over the place. 70 is the new 40!

Even right now, Trump and all of the currently-leading Democrat rivals are Boomers.

I can easily imagine the scenario where most Boomers hand off their batons not to the GenX'ers, but to the Millennials. Time to inject some real youth and vigor, don't you know!

Blogger God Emperor Memes August 26, 2019 12:23 AM  

Seems to be a fairly common theme with Boomer parents. "Sure, *I'm* going to inherit millions...but what does that have to do with my children?!"
My mother is exactly like that, then unironically complains that her children are "selfish".

Blogger Beau August 26, 2019 12:25 AM  

It does not mean allowing them to victimize you. It does not mean destroying your family to accommodate their crazy or their evil.

Yes, you are correct. It is similar to what is told an addicted relative, "We love you. We just don't like the drug. You can choose us or the drug." You hold forth the possibility of reconciliation when they deal with their behavior. You don't invite them over when they are abusing substances, or spewing abusive language, or stealing and breaking things; but you let them know decent behavior is a path they can choose. If they choose to remain as they are you have honored them by giving them a choice.

Blogger Bernard Brandt August 26, 2019 12:27 AM  

My grandfather, a Silent, was a grocer who saved up enough money to buy his four children homes right next to his. I remember those days as a very small child. The family gatherings were wonderful.

My father, an engineer, and a Greatest who fought in WWII, moved the family to So Cal in the great aerospace migration in the early 60s. With the money from the old house, he bought a house in one of the beach cities in LA. You know, the one where the zip code became the title of a network TV series.

My grandfather lived into his 90s, quite happily and independently into his 90s, and then lived another couple of years in the home of one of his other sons, though his whole family helped.

My father lived into his 80s, and worked until near the end, when he was taken care of by his wife, my mother. When he overheard that the diabetes had gotten to the part that they were going to start lopping off body parts, he decided that he had had enough, stopped treatment, and died a week later.

My mother was independent until her 80s, when she was taken care of by my brother and the rest of the family. She died at home. We honored her request that she do so.

With our share of the inheritance, my brother and I bought a multidwelling unit in LA. As a result, we live a good life, with the prospect of turning our inheritance over to his kids. Both my wives died before we could have kids. So it goes.

So, I have retired, and have the prospect of another twenty years living independently if I don't take care of my health, or thirty years if I do. And I don't mind saying that I am a Boomer.

My whole point in bringing all this up is that the commandment that begins 'Honor your father and mother...' continues with the words '...that your life may be long in the land.' Many Boomers either forgot, or never learned, those words. It is their loss.

My family did not forget.

Blogger Azimus August 26, 2019 12:44 AM  

Is Boomer a white only thing for the most part?

Blogger Raker_T August 26, 2019 12:49 AM  

Bad Boomer Fest
The crap goes back a ways, but it affects different people different ways. One Boomer goes one way, the next goes another way. My mother was born in 1939, I think. Her parents divorced when she was a kid, and neither one wanted her, so she ended up in an orphanage. It took me a long time to know enough about life to see the gaps in her understanding. My father left us all when I was 11. My mother worked full time, and also went to college in the evenings to get a better job. Tough old German gal who never took the bad breaks lying down. My father basically never spent any time with us kids at all, we had to figure everything out on our own. Never introduced us to his family, not once. Later I found out that he called his mother every week for years. There is a tinge of anger mixed with the question I have about dad and the grandparents:
What_the_fuck_were_you_doing?
But it's not much anger, as their decisions were so bizarre that I first would have to comprehend them, before I could be angry. It's like being angry at a mentally deranged person, I guess. Just so bizarre.
I have a boomer brother in law who would give anything he could to a person in need. He was part of the original Operation Rescue. These guys got really roughed up by the cops, and went back for more. Tumultuous times back then, not prosperity for all, not all looked out for #1, but it must be satisfying to think they did.
@92. Yeah I was pondering the same thing, but more like see how many pedos connected to Clintons one could expose. You'll probably never come near a bedpan.

Blogger Azimus August 26, 2019 12:50 AM  

Doktor JeepAugust 25, 2019 10:19 PM
What's the fattest most gluttonous slovenly generation? What's the generation that made it "normal" to have doubled their weight by middle age? What's the generation that takes a pill for everything and everybody is "on something"


Dude, chill. Just set out the cheese and sausage platter, and let it do the heavy lifting. That'll close your bracket right up!

Blogger God Emperor Memes August 26, 2019 12:58 AM  

Yes, because Boomers tend to know who their fathers were.

Blogger Azimus August 26, 2019 1:00 AM  

Too many sob stories here about daddy not giving me any money or enough free babysitting. We are only a few generations removed from your father working in the mines 70hrs a week and dying impoverished from blacklung at age 38. The boomers are selfish a-holes that broke the cycle, but the cycle of passing on an inheritance was not all that old of a tradition anyway. Have your cry, shake your fist at the dying of the light, and do what you have to do. God forbid GenX will use the boomers deplorable example to excuse copying their behavior exactly - someone needs to right the ship!

Blogger Dirk Manly August 26, 2019 1:23 AM  

Azimus... not passon on an inheritence when the wealth could have been there means that the wealth was LITERALLY PARTIED AWAY.

That is absolutely sinful.

Blogger Remo - Vile Faceless Minion #99 August 26, 2019 1:28 AM  

Latch key child, used as a child support check from 9-18 and told to get out and get my own place when this dried up. Father wasn't interested as he had a new life and mother went on to become a Methodist pastor and spent her life lying about the spirit to all comers. Both sported "Spending my children's inheritance" bumper stickers and both castigated me for taking out student loans in the early 90's because of course they had enough money by working a part timer so what was wrong with me?!? Take care of that? Absolutely not. They voted for generous medicare and social security which I must now pay for long after they finally die while enjoying none of it. They both loved the government and did everything they could to get it to grow to today's monstrous levels - let the beast they fed now take care of them.

Blogger Azimus August 26, 2019 1:30 AM  

Agreed Dirk but there's a lot of bitterness in some of the comments that leads me to believe that people think they are excused to repeat the sin against their children in the future. That would be even more awful than the boomers who somehow think they've done no wrong.

Blogger Dirk Manly August 26, 2019 1:33 AM  

I think the beset solution for us in Gen-X is to go through the motions (so the kids see it), but do little to nothing that is actually effective for such lousy parents.

My parents are late Silents... ALMOST as bad as Boomers in some ways... but, at least they're still married, and they do help with their grandchildren.

Blogger Azimus August 26, 2019 1:41 AM  

Just yesterday my 12yo son asked me what I was going to do in my retirement (at least 25yrs away, if ever): I said I would help him fix his cars, work on his house, and take my grandkids for weekends most of the time, and see this big country of ours when I have time. At least until I'm in diapers again... so if I understand your point, I am planning to show them the proper way to run your sunset years...

Blogger wahr01 August 26, 2019 1:50 AM  

What's a retirement?

I hear that's something Boomers partake in, but I don't think I'll have one thanks to boomer parents leeching my income.

Blogger Elizabeth August 26, 2019 2:10 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger Dire Badger August 26, 2019 2:57 AM  

Strong men create peace and plenty.
Peace and Plenty Breeds Weak Men.
Weak men create Hard Times.
Hard Times create Strong men.

The Boomers merely had the bad luck to be born in ultimate peace and plenty. They were as destined to be the weak, pathetic losers that they are as the millenial's children are destined to be strong in the hard times that they must soon face.

Blogger Shimshon August 26, 2019 5:22 AM  

My MIL will likely leave a decent inheritance to her offspring, even if she lives for many more years, but otherwise, her Boomer ego is total.

Just heard my bro-in-law renounced any interest in being executor due to her insane desire to control the money from the grave. Instead of considering his critique, this infuriated her.

The will has stipulations on how much is disbursed based on the type or level of college degree. I am sure it is much worse, but that much I know. For her children, all of whom are over 40 and have lives of their own. One doesn't have a degree and gets a pittance until said degree is acquired. Because Boomer.

If you don't have the money to seek a Fountain of Youth like the uber-rich Boomers, you will live on through your evergreen will always testifying to your cleverness.

It's truly sickening.

Blogger Harambe August 26, 2019 7:33 AM  

Shimshon wrote:My MIL will likely leave a decent inheritance to her offspring, even if she lives for many more years, but otherwise, her Boomer ego is total.

Just heard my bro-in-law renounced any interest in being executor due to her insane desire to control the money from the grave. Instead of considering his critique, this infuriated her.

The will has stipulations on how much is disbursed based on the type or level of college degree. I am sure it is much worse, but that much I know. For her children, all of whom are over 40 and have lives of their own. One doesn't have a degree and gets a pittance until said degree is acquired. Because Boomer.

If you don't have the money to seek a Fountain of Youth like the uber-rich Boomers, you will live on through your evergreen will always testifying to your cleverness.

It's truly sickening.


Woah

Blogger Stacey August 26, 2019 8:12 AM  

Rumpole5

You are exactly right. My brother and I both try very hard to emulate my father. And, I'm sure we will take care of our mother because it is the right thing to do.

I'd just like to complement the readers of this blog - you all are the most upstanding people I've ever come across IRL or on the web. I've been here about a year and it never fails to amaze me how much I learn from almost every single post -- then I read the comments, and they are just as good!

Blogger RandyB August 26, 2019 8:20 AM  

That's the Boomers plan, and they are already working on it.

Blogger Brick Hardslab August 26, 2019 8:38 AM  

My family takes care of our elders. My grandmother took care of my great grandparents. My parents took care of my grand parents etc. My wife's family on the other hand is a scary story.

Blogger binks webelf August 26, 2019 9:19 AM  

Will we serve God, or Satan? Will we choose love, or revenge? Will we pass on the hurt & neglect we may have endured, or let it burn itself up in the love of God & neighbour?

I grew up in a negligent, sometimes abusive home with my Boomer parents. Alcohol, drugs, violence, adultery, and severe mental illness affected me and my brothers, though we did not know or understand it. I had every reason to write off both parents.

And yet-- as an adult I resolved to look after them both to the best of my ability & resources in their old age anyway. As it happened, that's not the way things worked out-- Mom died in a car-accident, Dad died in the care of his third wife.

To love someone is to will & work toward their ultimate good, not to have Hallmark Card sentiments floating around inside us. It's work.

Plus, the commandments are there, and clear, and do not depend on the delightfulness or perfections of the people we are told to honour and/ or love. If we will not forgive, we are not forgiven.

"Thou Shalt honour thy father and thy mother" (Hebrew: כַּבֵּד אֶת אָבִיךָ וְאֶת אִמֶּךָ לְמַעַן יַאֲרִכוּן יָמֶיךָ). Period. It doesn't say love, necessarily, or that if they weren't Parents Of The Year 30 years in a row, you're off the hook.

God incarnate, the walking & talking Logos also gave us the New Law:

"Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." [ Matthew 22:36-40 ]

Do we need grace to do this? Yes. Will it hurt? Of course. Might we even save our own souls & those of our erring, imperfect-- even evil-- parents, who are also our neighbour before God?

Indeed.

Blogger Harambe August 26, 2019 10:48 AM  

Who is my neighbour?

Blogger PJW Gent August 26, 2019 11:08 AM  

I think being Christians helped me and my sister take care of my father until he died last year at 94. He lived with my sister (widow) and I supported them financially (I live over 900 miles away) with at least a yearly visit at which I did a lot of handyman things.

Any true follower of Jesus Christ, though growing up in the putrefied water of the boomer generation (we are all affected by the water in which we swim), could never abandon their parents without abandoning their faith in the process. It took a toll on my sister during the last 3 years, but he died in his own bed with a family vigil. It is the way it is supposed to be as I could talk about the toll it took on my father during the years he worked to raise us, so who are we to complain?

Blogger CarpeOro August 26, 2019 11:43 AM  

My mother is on the edge of Silent and Boomer (1941), but has many Boomer inclinations. I am the eldest of three children and the only one that communicates with her regularly. This is due to her tendencies to give unwarranted advice, constant complaining, and completely solipsistic world view. I continue to call and take her out on occasion because I believe in honoring my parents. My two younger siblings and I try to help each other out as much as we can, and have for decades, going to each other before our mother. She has charged me interest on loans, despite being the only one to pay her back. I believe she expects the same from my niece who's student loans she paid off to get her out of the higher interest rates. Despite it all and dreading the at least weekly call, I feel guilt that I haven't been able find the words to get her to change. My father died when I was 15 and she never really dated or got married since then. I often think that he would have been the only one able to counterbalance her. She is in many ways the perfect study on the ills that can come from a woman not having a man.

Blogger justaguy August 26, 2019 12:05 PM  

Each family makes their own choices and lives with the consequences. As a bible-believing Christian, many of my choices were guided by my belief, others make choices guided by other values. I have seen the joy and the need of multi-generational families. Maybe not living together, but in close support. One can never know what times one will live in, and the support of grandparents and parents are important in the life of children.

That said, I know of many Christians who retire to Florida away from it all, thinking that they are not being a burden on their children. While the children do not have to care for them as they age and die alone/apart from family, they neither support the family nor show an example to their grandchildren. I think the Silents/ Greatest generation started the craze of retiring in Florida/Arizona, but it is being taken up by the newly retired Boomers.

Blogger Michael August 26, 2019 12:09 PM  

Sometimes, for your own sanity, you have to write-off your parents, that's just the way it is. I will illustrate this with just a little bit of my history. This is dirty family laundry.

My parents were born in the 1930's. I don't know what generation they are. They were guilty of abuse. When I was getting some counselling on another topic, I asked the counsellor, is it normal to see stars when they hit you in the head? Or not be able to breath when they hit you in the solar plexus? Only one time did I get stuck with a knife (it was a eating utensil that I accidentally left in my bed room). It was only a glancing blow. I showed the cut to my grandfather, he said to make sure that I didn't leave a knife out for my father again. They said, "why no, let's talk about that". I came to terms with the fact that I was abused as a child, teenager.

There were two seminal events that brought this to a head. First, I have a high level security clearance. My father, was pissed off at me, and said that I was threatening him, I was doing nothing of the sort, I was sitting with him at the kitchen table. He was going to call the police. Lucky for me, at the time, my mother was in the room, and she said on "X" he did nothing of the sort, you are not going to call the police. Guess what, in the state I live in, if the cops are called for domestic violence, someone goes to jail. Right then and there, I would have been on suspension from work, then after the dust cleared with the courts, I would have criminal record, even though dismissed by the courts. Guess what, my career would be over, event after the government did its thing of interviewing me and everyone else (after the fact).

The next issue was that my sister was pregnant by her husband. Yep they were married. I was told that she said, he said, she was assaulted. Well, there were no police reports, nothing. I am always suspicious. My father decided that my sister needed an abortion (hey she’s about 25 – not a kid). My brother begged for the child’s life, on his knees. She got the abortion. Some years later, when we were talking, he said, in that 1,000 yard stare, maybe I did not beg enough. Whenever I thought about this, driving, I would have to pull over and weep. My parents told me that they didn’t tell me they were going to procure an abortion because it might upset me. No S*** Sherlock. I have only been white hot angry about 3 times in my life… this might have been time 4 with a very unpleasant outcome if I had lost control. In retrospect, they did me a favor not telling me before the act, only later.

There were a wide variety of other things that happened that lead up to “blowing them off”. I was surprised that my sister, who’s a school teacher, told me that in today’s society, Dad would have been arrested for child abuse. That makes sense. Mom was his enabler. Dad is dead and gone on to his reward.

Now, honor thy father and mother. Right, at least the Catholic Church’s ( I am a convert) teaching is when there is abuse you can separate and pray for them. I am at peace.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd August 26, 2019 12:42 PM  

Harambe wrote:Who is my neighbour?

Go back and read the parable of the Samaritan. That's where Jesus laid out who's your neighbor.

The Churchians usually take this to mean that everyone is your neighbor, but especially your despised enemy. That's exactly the opposite of the message Jesus was giving.

Your neighbors are not necessarily your fellow nationals, your neighbors are the ones who show love to you. Jesus said that the Samaritan was the injured man's neighbor, because he was the one who showed love. Your despised enemy who doesn't love you? Not a neighbor.

We are to love our enemies, but I'm pretty sure we need to show that love differently than we show love to our family and friends.

Blogger Cobblestone August 26, 2019 2:48 PM  

Too many sob stories here about daddy not giving me any money or enough free babysitting. The boomers are selfish a-holes that broke the cycle, but the cycle of passing on an inheritance was not all that old of a tradition anyway.

Bull crap.

Proverbs 13:22 (ESV): “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but the sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous.”

Azimus, it is an ANCIENT tradition, and a Christian one. It doesn't get older than this. Nevermind parents leaving inheritance to their kids, but a smart man will leave an inheritance for his GRAND-children. That is an eternal truth from our God through one of the wisest Kings who ever lived.

Have your cry, shake your fist at the dying of the light, and do what you have to do.

If you're trying to encourage millenials to loathe baby boomers even more, you're doing a great job.

someone needs to right the ship!

This. This right here deserves its own evisceration. Do you have any god-damn clue how many times millennial children have tried to right this ship?

My own parents were boomers. Mom is a hoarder, and her husband was a flaming cuckold. How many times did I, as a teenager and young adult, try to clean up the stinking cluttered hellhole that was our home? How many times did I re-double my efforts to try and make sure my own younger siblings could read and write?? They stood in the way, preferring filth and clutter and dumb kids to improvement. They couldn't even be bothered to TEACH ME HOW TO DRIVE A GOD-DAMN CAR.

They stood in my way every time I or my other older siblings tried to right the ship. Mom preferred to live in increasing squalor with un-schooled children than allow us to fix things, and our Boomer Dad stood by her all the way. Then our single surviving grandfather had to move in with us due to dementia, and did they take care of him? Barely! WE WERE THE ONES CLEANING UP HIS MESSES! His stink and his crap fouled up our house even more than the dogs did. I spent whole summers not getting a girlfriend or having a job with decent hours trying to right the god-damn ship. The last thing I want to hear is some boomer faggot telling me that, well, dur, someone has tah doo duh the right thing! Bitch, I DID THE RIGHT THING. Years of my life GONE. Where the hell were you when we needed someone to hold our parents accountable when we appealed to our boomer church leaders, or the idiots running CPS? You were freaking nowhere. Ah, but you'll show up here to tell us to stop complaining that daddy didn't leave us enough money!

Listen to me, Azimus. The very LEAST my Dad could have done was leave something behind for me and my siblings. Some money, a treasured personal belonging, a vehicle, a house, or something. He left NOTHING. Not even a will with a goodbye note, or a thank you for those dark times when I was trying so desperately to make his life less hellish than it already was. Not even an apology for the fact that he was such a cuck that none of his sons have the guts to ask girls out on a date, and are all unmarried to this day! Nothing at all.

And you have the gall to tell millennials that WE need to right the ship???

How about we right the ship by tying a god-damn millstone around every one of your stupid boomer necks and chucking you all over-board?

Blogger Michael S. August 26, 2019 3:13 PM  

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Are our abusive parents or grandparent (in my case) our enemies?

Blogger Dirk Manly August 26, 2019 3:33 PM  

"Mom was a hoarder, and her husband was a flaming cuckold."

Looking back... could he have been a flaming something else, and she was his beard? [Considering that back then, flaming would be having a weird mustache, and walking a touch too lightly]

You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I just bring it up because subconscious word selection sometimes reveals things to an outside observer that the speaker/writer doesn't grasp at the conscious level until it's pointed out.

Blogger Cobblestone August 26, 2019 3:56 PM  

Lol, no, Dirk. No indications of homosexuality at all. In fact, he had 11 of us, not counting the 4-6 that died via miscarriage.

Blogger James Pyrich August 26, 2019 5:14 PM  

@158 The very use of the term "abuse" indicates the betrayal of trust, and that sows the greatest enmity.

Therefore, they are in the most need of prayer, both for their salvation as well as for the abused to be comforted by God. This is what I've found.

But that still doesn't yet translate into wiping their ass. Not without repentance.

Blogger Bernard Brandt August 26, 2019 5:16 PM  

"Lol, no, Dirk. No indications of homosexuality at all. In fact, he had 11 of us, not counting the 4-6 that died via miscarriage."

Well, then:

"Well, you know, Man o'War,
after they retired him from racing,
they put him out to stud.
And he had an average of about 120,
130 foals evety year.
And he lived to be 36.
And then when he died they did an autopsy
and found out that he was a raving queen.
No, that's a little-known fact, but it's the truth."

-Trapper John, M*A*S*H (movie)

Hell, I figure that if I can't beat 'em, I might as well join 'em.

Blogger DL August 26, 2019 5:21 PM  

I had a college professor in evolutionary game theory tell me that there are 2 paths for preparing for old age. The modern path is work hard and save over million dollars in a bank account. Or take the old path, get married, stay married and have lots of kids. One of them will take care of you in retirement. I was like easy... It's the old path for me!

Blogger Dirk Manly August 26, 2019 10:30 PM  

@160

"Lol, no, Dirk. No indications of homosexuality at all. In fact, he had 11 of us, not counting the 4-6 that died via miscarriage."

If he was an uber-cuckold, all that means is that your mom had a lot of sex.... doesn't say anything about the man living in your house. In fact, it would probably explain his complete disinterest in you and all the other children -- he KNEW you and they weren't his.

Blogger LP916 August 26, 2019 10:40 PM  

131 Dearest Sir (s), I thank you - I cannot imagine what you endured. 158, God bless you both.

Beau, you keep me going, thank you Pastor!

Blogger Sicilian switchblade August 26, 2019 11:05 PM  

It shouldn't be hard to imagine that since my parents basically checked out of being any kind of parents at all by the time I was 10 yrs old that I wouldn't care to move them in so I could spoon feed them and change depends.

Well no worries. They both smoked, drank, and drugged themselves to the grave by the ripe ole age of 63. Massive stroke for Dad lung cancer for Mom.

Sad that they never really (got it) relieved that it's done and over. Helluva legacy guys...

Blogger Cobblestone August 27, 2019 10:00 AM  

Nah, we all look the same. I even saw an ancient picture of my Dad as a kid, and it's like he's a clone of my older brother. Also, I had a video of my birth as a child. I've no reason to expect any of us are illegitimate. I think he was perpetually exhausted from never being in charge of the family, but working like a pack mule. Eventually it became an unshakeable habit he couldn't break.

Oh, but he remained somewhat interested when we all moved out and there was no one to help run his home business or take care of the lawn or clean his filthy house. Then he piped up. But go out to a movie with his sons? It was like pulling teeth.

That bugs me in a way the other things don't. Even after all the crappy things we endured, after we broke free and our relationship improved, he still didn't even want to hang out casually with his boys. Just wanted us to visit occasionally so we could do more stuff for him. Terrible.

Blogger Cobblestone August 27, 2019 11:48 AM  

"Also, I had a video of my birth as a child."

I just realized that didn't prove much. lol But my Dad took the video. For some reason I thought that might prove something.

Blogger Remo - Vile Faceless Minion #99 August 28, 2019 12:00 PM  

Cobblestone is correct. I owe my boomer parents who did nothing for me and will leave nothing for me but bad memories the exact same love as I owe my "neighbor" biblically speaking who happens to be a Somalia paperwork American who also is a just arrested serial rapist. This idea that your parents should be able to neglect you, beat you, ignore you, malign you, drain you of resources to benefit themselves, destroy the place you and your children must live, magnify your burdens 1000x, leave you only sorrow, vote repeatedly to surround you and yours with dark skinned enemies, then swoop in and expect to be taken care and pampered in their dotage is not biblical and if it truly is then I'm switching religions.

Blogger Eric August 31, 2019 9:04 AM  

When he was 18 his parents were most likely in good health and haven't even reached retirement yet, and he should have been looking after them unstead of setting on his own way in the world?

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