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Monday, September 16, 2019

This is what it sounds like

Do NOT ever attempt fiction if you are not a professional writer of it. Believe it or not, there is actually an amount of skill involved in creating a sense of verisimilitude in storytelling. And the first lesson is this: write what you know. Which means, if you are an individual from one identity group, do not attempt to invent details about other identity groups. You WILL get it wrong. In fact, you will not only get it wrong, you will get it LAUGHABLY wrong.

Michael Harriot dissects Joe Biden's tale of an encounter with a gang leader named Corn Pop that was the highlight of his 1962 Negro Summer Safari Adventure.
I'm always astounded by the imaginings of white people as it relates to race. Many of them have this fictionalized jigaboo version that is almost alien-like. And one of the greatest examples of this ever is Joe Biden's story about Corn Pop the gangsta.

Now it has already been demonstrably proven that Biden will make stuff up. But any black person who hears this story will automatically give you the side-eye and  says: "nigga please."

It begins when Biden was working as a lifeguard at a pool.

Now Biden is like, 176 years old, but he's still in pretty good shape. This supposedly happened in the summer of 1962. Biden says that, instead of hanging out all summer, he decided to take a job working as a lifeguard at a black pool.

So, that summer, Biden was the only white lifeguard at Prices Run swimming pool in Brown-Burton Winchester Park. He says he did it—y'all, I SWEAR this is true—"in hopes of learning more about the black community." Yes, that's an actual quote.

Biden says that he became popular at the pool because many of the black people in Wilmington, DE had never talked to a white person before. This raised by bullshit-o-meter, so I decided to look it up. In 1960, Wilmington was 73% white, according to census records

Anyway, during Biden's Negro Summer Safari Adventure, one day, all of the town gangsters came to the pool. Now I know what you're thinking, but don't stereotype. Gangbangers are NOT a monolith.

Why can't a real street nigga enjoy a nice refreshing dip? Sometimes a thug wants to play Marco Polo, too. Well, the gang that invaded Biden's pool was called the Romans, which sounds gangsta AF. And the leader of the Romans was a dude named Corn Pop.

Now if you're black, I know this shit sounds like some white kid tried to make a gang fairy tale for a sixth-grade play because you and I know there ain't no squad led by a nigga named Corn Pop going around terrorizing Delaware pools.

But, I guess, in white people minds, thugs get two weeks vacation and go on retreats at city pools. Anyway, Biden says he had no idea that Corn Pop was the duly elected leader of the hood niggas. So when Corn Pop began bouncing on the diving board, which was against the rules,

Biden told him:

"Esther Williams! Get off the board, man..."

Then Biden kicked Corn Pop out of the pool. (I know you're thinking "Who TF is Esther Williams?" She was a famous swimmer in the 50s. But I admit, I thought he was talking about the lady who played Florida Evans, too)

Anyway, after he kicked the probably fictitious Corn Pop out of the pool, everybody was like: They told Biden that Corn Pop carried a straight razor and was gonna be waiting for him when he got off work. Now you and I both know that, if this was true, Biden would've just called the cops to walk him to the car.

But this was in 1962, and before 911, you had to dial a whole seven numbers. Plus, Biden said that he knew that if he called the cops, he wouldn't be allowed back into the African American community

Nigga, what?

Anyway, Biden says, instead he wrapped a six-foot metal chain around his arm and wrapped that in a towel. Because everyone knows there are ample black chains just laying around the "African America community" but no police officers.

When he went out to the car, Corn Pop was indeed waiting for him. But Biden went Clint Eastwood on Corn and told OG Pop from the Romans:

"You might cut me, Corn Pop, but I’m going to wrap this chain around your head before you do."

Again, that is a direct quote.

And guess what happened?

Just like that, my nigga CP put down the straight razor and he and Biden became friends. From that day own, Biden was untouchable in the black community because Corn Pop vouched for him

Again, STOP LAUGHING!

Now I don't know how it works where you live, but in my hood, you don't actually get a laminated street credential card from the neighborhood thug council but, then again, I've never been on the mean streets of Wilmington. But this story is actually recounted in Joe Biden's 2007 autobiography AND is retold in the Washington Post, here.

But this is not about Biden.

This is a celebration of the life of a straight razor-carrying certified street thug who I'd bet my pinky toe never existed. But if you ask Biden, I bet he'd say Corn Pop has passed on.

RIP my nigga Corn Pop. This is how it sounds when thugs die.
Of course, back in the 1970s, when Joe Biden was still semi-coherent, white Boomers knew so little about blacks that a water-loving gang leader named Corn Pop who carried a knife might have actually sounded credible to them. I very much doubt there is a single member of the Gen-X generational cohort, be he red or yellow, black or white, who could have heard that story with laughing out loud and immediately calling BS on it.

And "the Romans"? He might as well have said Corn Pop was the leader of the Sharks and threatened him with a scary doo-wop number sung acapella.

Boomers are such cheeseballs. They believe everything they are told by anyone they recognize as an authority figure.

Ceterum, non enim ad lunam.

Labels: , ,

102 Comments:

Blogger Lucas September 16, 2019 7:44 AM  

LOL

This was fun!

Is this guy really thinking that he has a snowball's chance in Hell of beating Trump?

Blogger Stilicho September 16, 2019 7:47 AM  

Corn Pop? Nah, it must've been bad, bad Leroy Brown...

"Corn Pop" Biden has a nice ring to it though.

Blogger Dave Dave September 16, 2019 7:47 AM  

Joe Biden thinks that his lies about being friends with obviously fictional black people will win him the nigger vote! He left out the part where they all sang Camptown Races!

Blogger The Foolproof September 16, 2019 7:50 AM  

He should be glad he never crossed paths with this man’s brother Cocoa Pop - let alone Cap’n Crunch.

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( Honkeys genocided poor, innocent little Smallpox, it was anuddah Shoah!, WhiteManBad ) September 16, 2019 7:52 AM  

Anyway, Biden says, instead he wrapped a six-foot metal chain around his arm and wrapped that in a towel.
...
"You might cut me, Corn Pop, but I’m going to wrap this chain around your head before you do."



wat?

the guy with the switchblade is going to do Puerto Rican knife tricks for the 5 minutes it takes Biden to get the chain off of his arm?

the whole point of wrapping your arm with the chain is so you can use it as a shield against the knife, but now you're going to use the chain as an offensive ranged weapon?

this makes no sense.

confirmed as authentic Biden Story!

Blogger Mr.MantraMan September 16, 2019 7:54 AM  

Some folks did dig up an obit about a Wilmington black man nicknamed Corn Pop, but yeah Biden is BS and the Boomers are sad, sad authoritarians.

Even my wife a solid MAGAcon quotes the BS, but since I am not an intellectual I have no problem shooting back with assault rhetoric aimed right at the credibility of any idiot source she quotes.

Blogger Unknown September 16, 2019 7:54 AM  

I'll be a sunofa...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EEiMrBPXsAEZ_27?format=jpg&name=medium

Blogger maniacprovost September 16, 2019 7:54 AM  

The only part of this that is totally implausible is when Corn Pop obeys the 17 year old white lifeguard and leaves the pool.

Blogger God Emperor Memes September 16, 2019 7:55 AM  

I guess this must have been prior to the pool closing due to AIDS?

Blogger Steb September 16, 2019 7:55 AM  

Corn Pop is the meanest thug on the street. But it's Sesame Street.

Blogger Lazarus September 16, 2019 7:55 AM  

He says he did it—y'all, I SWEAR this is true—"in hopes of learning more about the black community."

Or, because the pool was full of half-naked children frolicking about, beads of water glistening on their smooth black skin.

Blogger FUBARwest September 16, 2019 7:55 AM  

Sad part is he still has the lead concerning the black vote...

Blogger Homesteader September 16, 2019 7:57 AM  

He's a cereal killer.

Blogger God Emperor Memes September 16, 2019 8:01 AM  

I believe pedophiles, much like serial murderers, tend to stick to their own race. I could be wrong.

Blogger [Redacted] September 16, 2019 8:07 AM  

The most implausible part of Biden's "ghetto gangster" fairytale is that it took place around a pool. More than half of black kids can't swim, and are 2 to 3 times more likely to drown compared to whites.

Blogger Randomatos September 16, 2019 8:09 AM  

I'm pretty sure you can find better written fantasy at any given middle school english class, possibly even at tor. His handlers have to be laughing at the suckers who pretend to buy this crap.

Blogger tublecane September 16, 2019 8:14 AM  

I don't want to defend the credulousness of Boomers, but they were pretty young in the 70s. Later on, Biden's presidential hopes were in part dashed precisely because people didn't believe regarding plagiarized speeches.

Later still, no one knows whether to trust anything he says. He has an uncanny ability to switch between lies, nonsense, and RealTalk. Which was a running joke his entire Vice Presidency.

Blogger Steve Canyon September 16, 2019 8:20 AM  

Snap! Cracker and Pop for prez 2020

Blogger Ominous Cowherd September 16, 2019 8:29 AM  

tublecane wrote:Later still, no one knows whether to trust anything he says. He has an uncanny ability to switch between lies, nonsense, and RealTalk. Which was a running joke his entire Vice Presidency.

He switches randomly between them, because he cannot tell the difference. Biden's bizzare behavior is familiar: in the years before my mother died of dementia, she went through stages like this stage Biden is currently in.

Was there a TV show with a story line similar to this Corn Pop story? For dementia patients, memories of TV shows become indistinguishable from reality.

Blogger Damelon Brinn September 16, 2019 8:32 AM  

That's amazing. It's like he got really drunk one night in 1980, watched The Warriors and Caddyshack back-to-back, and mashed them up in his mind ever since.

I believe pedophiles, much like serial murderers, tend to stick to their own race. I could be wrong.

I think there are some Haitians who would beg to disagree. Pedos might *prefer* their own race, but availability and lower risk are important too, especially for those with recognizable faces.

Blogger Manuel September 16, 2019 8:53 AM  

Ceterum, non enim ad lunam.
"As for the rest, for not to/ at the moon."??
Are you trying to say we didn't go the moon? How dare you?!

Blogger justthinkin September 16, 2019 8:58 AM  

@15 1969: We had just moved back to my dad's southern hometown after he retired from the military. My parents took me to the city pool. Not a white kid in sight.

Blogger [Redacted] September 16, 2019 9:02 AM  

justthinkin wrote:@15 1969: We had just moved back to my dad's southern hometown after he retired from the military. My parents took me to the city pool. Not a white kid in sight.

1969: A loaf of bread cost a quarter, a new car was 2k, a new house was 40k, and Boomers played golf on the moon. It isn't that I don't believe you, I just have no reference frame for a world where black kids have fathers, swim, and nickname people "Corn Pop".

Blogger Doktor Jeep September 16, 2019 9:04 AM  

The side-eye also known as the Forrest Whitaker eye

Blogger Harambe September 16, 2019 9:06 AM  

Corn Pop got nothing on my homeboy, Salad Tater

Blogger Brett baker September 16, 2019 9:14 AM  

As Isaac Hayes sang,"Cap'n Crunch is one bad motha... "

Blogger ace September 16, 2019 9:18 AM  

My local city pool is in a mostly black area. Blacks go there of course, but mostly hang around in the shallows and clown around.

Blogger Ferdinand September 16, 2019 9:21 AM  

How dare you? Corn Pop, leader of the infamous black gang named the Romans, is the realest Nigga that ever wuz.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan September 16, 2019 9:21 AM  

One of my local pools the white kids show up early for swim lessons then vacate so as to allow the vibrancy to commence.

Blogger Crew September 16, 2019 9:22 AM  

When are the Democrats going to roll out their real candidate?

None of the current crop has any chance against the God Emperor!

Blogger Amy September 16, 2019 9:26 AM  

My great grandfather called those pools “inkwells”

Blogger Daniel September 16, 2019 9:28 AM  

The park where he lifeguarded has renamed to "Joseph R. Biden Jr. Aquatic Center."

I think they also have a course in mental gymnastics.

Blogger Rek. September 16, 2019 9:31 AM  

Ive spent most of my infant and adolescent years around a public pool in a well-off neighborhood of a major European city. At one point and for years I was @ the pool 3-4 times a week during winter and most every day all day during summer (as we had the good fortune of having access to a huge lawn just next to the pool). Muzzies from other parts of town would show up every summer in significant numbers (for my young and racially aware self). Now as far as blacks go they were simply never there. They dont do swimming and water.

Blogger DeepThought September 16, 2019 9:38 AM  

Corn Pop's obituary is all over social media. Same age range as Biden. Same area as Biden. Biden actually might have told a partial truth.

Blogger Damelon Brinn September 16, 2019 9:43 AM  

A town near here has a swimming pool on MLK Jr. Boulevard, and it's basically black-only. No idea whether they get in the water, but it's a popular hangout in the summer.

Some nice white people from the other side of town started a community garden on an unused corner of the pool's property, thinking they'd teach the locals to grow their own food and become more self-sufficient. They weren't interested, except when it was time to steal the watermelons.

Blogger Gr8Again September 16, 2019 9:43 AM  

In my youth in the late 80's, I occasionally lifeguarded at apartment pools deep in the hood of Prince Georges County, MD.

One part of Biden's story does ring true. The black children of those deep ghetto neighborhoods really had not spoken with white people before - or certainly not very often. I had red hair and freckles and the kids would stare at me with mouth agape, asking me what those spots on my face were.

Blogger Northwest Watching Thing September 16, 2019 9:45 AM  

I remember blacks would hang out at the pool, but never swim. Sometimes they'd sit at the side and dangle their legs in, or hang out in the shallow end.

Blogger SciVo September 16, 2019 9:47 AM  

Oh, now I get it. When he said in 2012, "They're going to put you all back in chains," he was projecting his lie. As that was something that he had claimed to threaten to do to "Corn Pop."

Blogger Daniel September 16, 2019 9:50 AM  

I do not find it implausible that even at a young age, Biden was inspired to physically rescue poor vulnerable half-naked children.

Blogger Billy September 16, 2019 9:50 AM  

update; cornpop was real https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1173342875691692032

Blogger Billy September 16, 2019 9:51 AM  

update; there was an actual black gang called the romans. https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1173343393344364545

Blogger David Ray Milton September 16, 2019 9:52 AM  

“Gangbangers are NOT a monolith. Why can't a real street nigga enjoy a nice refreshing dip? Sometimes a thug wants to play Marco Polo, too”

That some funny shit.

Blogger Billy September 16, 2019 9:54 AM  

Biden might actually be a better fiction writer than we assumed. The take away from this story is as always, the truth is stranger than fiction.

Blogger Richard Rahl September 16, 2019 9:54 AM  

For those that don't know - Ceterum, non enim ad lunam - means: "Rest in peace Corn Pop, you were a beautiful soul and an even better cereal."

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 September 16, 2019 9:56 AM  

Today on Owen's stream, someone will be bearified as "Corn Pop Bear".

Can't wait.

Blogger The Cooler September 16, 2019 9:58 AM  

I'm Corn Pop.

This my nigga, Fruit Loop. He funny.

This my other nigga, Cheerio. Nigga never stop smilin.

This my other nigga, Total. He count the money.

This my other nigga, Count Chocula. Nigga LOVE Halloween.

These my ho's: Cocoa Puffs, Pebbles and Trix.

That's the crew, Yo. Now come off that water noodle fo you get stuck.

Blogger Silent Draco September 16, 2019 9:59 AM  

Steve Martin told a much better story, and acted a better one in "The Jerk".

Blogger Skyler the Weird September 16, 2019 10:00 AM  

Corn Pop was real. Eddie Murphy knew his Sister Trix who was a Ho and his brother the drag queen Lucky Charms.

Blogger Rakshasa September 16, 2019 10:23 AM  

I got about halfway down the text and my brain turned to mush. Pop corn gangster was having a water fight with the white pool supremacists?

Blogger Daniel September 16, 2019 10:34 AM  

The black people knowing how to swim is what triggers the bs detector lol

Blogger Dave Dave September 16, 2019 10:39 AM  

@36. That part of the story rings extremely true. Ghetto blacks have so little contact with white people that they didn't even talk to Joe Biden.

Blogger Owen September 16, 2019 10:41 AM  

Corn Pop got nothing on Cory Booker’s T-bone!

Blogger Jeroth September 16, 2019 10:43 AM  

I believe Corn Pop existed. The rest of the story is probably exaggeration, but black people name themselves these ridiculous things all the time. Just look at the names black rappers give themselves today. Someone even found the obituary for a black Corn Pop in the area.

Blogger Akulkis September 16, 2019 10:45 AM  

Not even a quarter. 10 cents was more typical for a loaf of bread circa 1969 in the U. S.

Blogger rcocean September 16, 2019 10:46 AM  

I'm still trying to figure out why an "all black swimming pool" would hire a white lifeguard. And Corn Pops real name was "Leroy Brown" and he later moved to Chicago. And now you know...the rest of the story.

Blogger rcocean September 16, 2019 10:48 AM  

Biden gives us a tale - from 57 years ago. That's how close he is to Black folks.

Blogger Barbarossa September 16, 2019 10:49 AM  

Sheeeet!!!! Even in the m**tha-f***kin' pool, white man gotz to be guardin' us like we wuz nuthin'! We wuz pool kangz, bitches!

Blogger Steve Samson September 16, 2019 10:49 AM  

Corn pop existed, Biden pulled a Peterson and hid behind the bike sheds, sees the obituary and realises its finally time to set the record crooked...

Blogger Warunicorn September 16, 2019 10:50 AM  

Billy wrote:update; cornpop was real https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1173342875691692032

Several alarms went off in my image-editing head, like:

-The image of "CornPop" is awfully...awful compared to the other photos. Might be because a crunchy JPEG was all they had, but still...
-Where was this info obtained? All we have is a snippet/screenshot of a paper that might not exist, maybe because Photoshop.

If it's one thing Vox taught me, it's not to trust the media. The dude works for CNN, after all. (And look at his other tweets.) lol

Blogger Fuzzums Wuzzums September 16, 2019 10:54 AM  

I don't think he's lying. I think he just omitted the fact that Corn Pop was 8 years old at the time.

Blogger tublecane September 16, 2019 10:57 AM  

"Corn Pop" is silly enough to be true. "Romans" sounds fake, but it reminds me of old movies where the black servants and lackeys have given names out of classical history. For instance, John Wayne's buddy in the Man Who Shot Liberty Valance is called "Pompey." I never figured why, exactly.

Maybe there was a Biblical connection, because Romans appear in the Bible, obviously, and black folk used to have Biblical names.

Blogger Daniel September 16, 2019 11:03 AM  

They have nothing against the GE.
So they will burn clown candidates and keep the best ones for the next

Blogger Tars Tarkas September 16, 2019 11:09 AM  

I heard about Biden's lifeguard days in the black part of Wilmington, but the guy's name is Mouse. Mouse really does exist and is involved in Democrat politics. He has told the story in speeches with Mouse in the room. The part about Mouse (Corn Pop) being a gang leader is absent from the version of the story I heard. Aside from the fact that it is probably completely made up, parts of the story sound realistic to me. The part about a white lifeguard being stuck in an all black pool where there is zero regard for the rules and any attempt to enforce the rules ends with violent attacks on the lifeguard and accusations of racism, that is very realistic. It just happened a few weeks ago at a pool not too far from me, only instead of gang members, it's mothers defending their demon spawn who dindu nuffin.

Blogger James Pyrich September 16, 2019 11:30 AM  

[Redacted] wrote:More than half of black kids can't swim, and are 2 to 3 times more likely to drown compared to whites.

This is why it was especially crucial for there to be a white lifeguard on duty!

Blogger OneWingedShark September 16, 2019 11:38 AM  

furor kek tonicus ( Honkeys genocided poor, innocent little Smallpox, it was anuddah Shoah!, WhiteManBad ) wrote:the guy with the switchblade is going to do Puerto Rican knife tricks for the 5 minutes it takes Biden to get the chain off of his arm?
the whole point of wrapping your arm with the chain is so you can use it as a shield against the knife, but now you're going to use the chain as an offensive ranged weapon?

this makes no sense.

confirmed as authentic Biden Story!

Don't you know that Biden is THE inspiration for Ghost Rider, who can control his chain telepathically?

[Redacted] wrote:justthinkin wrote:@15 1969: We had just moved back to my dad's southern hometown after he retired from the military. My parents took me to the city pool. Not a white kid in sight.
1969: A loaf of bread cost a quarter, a new car was 2k, a new house was 40k, and Boomers played golf on the moon. It isn't that I don't believe you, I just have no reference frame for a world where black kids have fathers, swim, and nickname people "Corn Pop".

This is fair... the black population in the US was absolutely devastated by the loss of fathers, the destruction of the family; the sad thing to realize is that there are people who are pushing to see that same destruction pushed into the rest of the US.

Daniel wrote:The black people knowing how to swim is what triggers the bs detector lol
See above; what we see now is really quite different than 60 years ago... even looking just at white middle-class America.

Blogger steve September 16, 2019 11:43 AM  

Even Jussie Smollett is skeptical.

Blogger Noah B. September 16, 2019 11:44 AM  

"See above; what we see now is really quite different than 60 years ago... even looking just at white middle-class America."

So true. White Americans increasingly resemble unemployed carnies.

Blogger Nostromo September 16, 2019 11:50 AM  

I love that scene on Blazing Saddles.

Blogger Timmy3 September 16, 2019 11:52 AM  

There was a MLB player named Coco Crisp. Just saying.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd September 16, 2019 11:52 AM  

OneWingedShark wrote:...the black population in the US was absolutely devastated by the loss of fathers, the destruction of the family...

A shorter way to say that would be ``...the black population in the US was absolutely devastated by the return to traditional African social structure.''

Blogger VD September 16, 2019 12:21 PM  

the black population in the US was absolutely devastated by the loss of fathers, the destruction of the family; the sad thing to realize is that there are people who are pushing to see that same destruction pushed into the rest of the US.

Zip it cucky. The only reason "the black family" existed in the first place was because African-Americans didn't want to get lynched. The way African-Americans live today is much more in line with the historical black societal model.

See: Africa.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd September 16, 2019 12:43 PM  

The Africans in America were objectively better off - less criminal, less dependent - when Judge Lynch forced them to act White. They must have hated it, because they returned to their traditional ``family'' structure and criminal ways the instant the pressure to conform was removed.

Culture is a racial construct.

Blogger Unknown September 16, 2019 1:03 PM  

Sam Hyde was there and said not only does Biden not swim, but he pumps his own gas.

Blogger Bucephalus September 16, 2019 1:03 PM  

Nothing screams liberating yourself from the chains of the white man like naming your street gang the Romans.

Blogger Gen. Kong September 16, 2019 1:10 PM  

Creepy Old Corn Pop has truly gone 'round the bend.

Sam Hyde was there and said not only does Biden not swim, but he pumps his own gas.

Must have sniffed lots of Benzine....

Blogger The Cooler September 16, 2019 1:13 PM  

Culture is a racial construct.

Sum, ergo cogito.

Blogger John Kim September 16, 2019 1:18 PM  

Best comedy short story I've read in a while

Blogger pilgrims progress September 16, 2019 1:22 PM  

Joseph Smith, Joseph(aka "Joe")Biden. The Joe's are pretty good at spinning a yarn.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd September 16, 2019 1:31 PM  

The Cooler wrote:Sum, ergo cogito.

Not African, then?

Blogger SciVo September 16, 2019 1:41 PM  

Noah B. wrote:White Americans increasingly resemble unemployed carnies.

Tats' ubiquity has turned my tolerance to disgust.

Blogger The Cooler September 16, 2019 2:06 PM  

@79 That would suffice as a proper translation.

What I should have typed is Sum, ergo cogito, ergo cultura.

Either way, though.

Blogger Brick Hardslab September 16, 2019 2:12 PM  

It was clearly a pseudonym for 'Big' Jim Walker. He's a pool shooting soon of a gun. I thought that meant Big Jim shot pool, obviously it meant he shot at people at pools. Critical difference I suppose.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl September 16, 2019 2:19 PM  

My hubby (Boomer Prime)was in his 30s with a house & a family in the 70s and Biden is older than him by several years.
What do you consider "young?"

Blogger Steve September 16, 2019 2:48 PM  

Vox, thank you for this. It really brightened my day. The Prince reference at the end was the chef's kiss. Magnifique!

Blogger Azimus September 16, 2019 3:15 PM  

Actually after you realize that Corn Pop and Romans were probably pseudonyms to protect privacy, this story rings true.

Or at least, more true than Christine Blasey Ford. At least he remembered what year and what pool.

Blogger Dave W. September 16, 2019 3:39 PM  

It gets even better. If you scroll down the twitter thread, there are idiot lefties that SWEAR that Biden was telling the truth. Dying laughing.

Blogger Stephen September 16, 2019 3:48 PM  

white Boomers knew so little about blacks that a water-loving gang leader named Corn Pop who carried a knife might have actually sounded credible to them. I very much doubt there is a single member of the Gen-X generational cohort, be he red or yellow, black or white, who could have heard that story with laughing out loud and immediately calling BS on it.

Cool story bro.

Blogger bodenlose Schweinerei September 16, 2019 3:52 PM  

Where does one carry a straight razor when they head down to the pool for a quick dip?

Blogger Living in a Fallen World September 16, 2019 5:04 PM  

Goodness gracious, can we all just let Corn Pop rest in peace? Why is Biden dragging his name through the mud all these decades later?

Corn Pop was a good boy who just wanted to go swimming. He didn't do nothing.

Blogger Meng Greenleaf September 16, 2019 5:50 PM  

"RIP my nigga Corn Pop. This is how (what) it sounds (like) when thugs die..."

LOLOL

That made my morning :-)

And, reminded me of when I was in Flint visiting my father and stepmother for the weekend. My step brother and I were from the countryside and my moronic father let us bike down to the local 110% black swimming pool. Upon riding there some kid sh*t in the pool and so it was temporarily closed (maybe they changed the water, maybe they just scoop out the loaf - I don't know, I never found out). Any-ole-who, in lieu (loo) of a poop pool adventure we went to the park and decided to try to climb up on top of the public toilets / rec-center roof (why, I have no idea). A bunch of the keeds where up there drying out (must have had the same idea) so we dropped from the tree, jumped on our bikes, and peddled as f*cking fast as a 12 year old's legs can swerving up and down the streets of Flint trying to get home being chaced behind by meh diversity. I wasn't fast enough so I swerved into a random driveway, dropped my bike, and begin frantically banging on the door screaming for help. The keeds must have assumed the male's voice telling me to get off his f*cking pourch was my dad and so they turned around, and, upon blending back into the Flint equivalent of the serengeti, where never seen again.

The End

Note: To this day, I don't swim in pools. Which is to say, if at all possible, I don't swim in public pools. I hate public pools. The ocean is where swimming happens.

Blogger Arcux September 16, 2019 6:21 PM  

That narrative could have also come from Michael Scott from "The Office."

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( Honkeys genocided poor, innocent little Smallpox, it was anuddah Shoah!, WhiteManBad ) September 16, 2019 8:58 PM  

34. DeepThought September 16, 2019 9:38 AM
Corn Pop's obituary is all over social media. Same age range as Biden. Same area as Biden. Biden actually might have told a partial truth.


how dare you accuse a nugger of lying, you fscking RACIST!

anyway, Biden used to tell the lie a different way:
https://twitter.com/joshuajfriedman/status/1173344152177786880

Blogger tublecane September 16, 2019 10:11 PM  

@83- Surely some Boomers were in their 30s. Then again, some were still teenagers. Compare that to the '88 campaign, which was Biden's best shot at a nomination. Boomers were firmly in control then.

Blogger rumpole5 September 16, 2019 10:13 PM  

I can vouch for the fact that blacks were considerably less disfunctional and more engaged in the norms of general American culture in the 1960s and 70s than they are now. It took awhile for the chaos to settle in after the civil rights and "Great Society" era. Also, it would not be unusual for a young male of either race to carry some kind of knife. All my scouting friends in 6th grade brought them to school if there was a meeting afterward.

Blogger Up from the pond September 17, 2019 12:19 AM  

It sounds believable for 1960, but so what? What is the point of Biden's ever-changing story? I was thinking about it and there isn't one. It's random Boomer bloviation, a senile man pounding his chest endlessly, all to impress "the kids." Some of us "kids" are in our 50s. We are sick of old f*ckers like Joseph. Joseph should retire and concentrate on keeping his dentures in. That goes for all Boomers except TGE.

Blogger Rabid Ratel September 17, 2019 1:48 AM  

Jack Amok, hippo's account for far more deaths than crocs.

Blogger Vlad Z. September 17, 2019 2:56 AM  

Per the standard articles on Operation Neptune Spear, that resulted in the execution of Osama bin Laden, the only member of the President's staff in on the planning who opposed it till the end was Vice President Biden.

Blogger Section 8A September 17, 2019 6:22 AM  

I like the part where they became friends at the end. That was nice.

Blogger VD September 17, 2019 9:17 AM  

hippo's account for far more deaths than crocs.

And meerkats account for more than both combined. Why do you think they are called "the piranha of the Serengeti?"

Blogger MrNiceguy September 17, 2019 3:30 PM  

The story is true, up to the point where little Joey threatens Corn Pop. At that point, Corn Pop laughs so hard he loses control of his bladder, then said, "I'ma let you go, but you tell anyone I pissed myself, I cut you." Now that Corn Pop is dead, Biden tells his version of the story.

Blogger SirHamster September 17, 2019 5:10 PM  

furor kek tonicus ( Honkeys genocided poor, innocent little Smallpox, it was anuddah Shoah!, WhiteManBad ) wrote:anyway, Biden used to tell the lie a different way:

https://twitter.com/joshuajfriedman/status/1173344152177786880


Bonus picture of a poor little girl getting the Biden sniff.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd September 18, 2019 10:12 AM  

VD wrote:Why do you think they are called "the piranha of the Serengeti?"

Yet another example of how being cute helps cover up crimes.

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