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Thursday, October 03, 2019

Relentless satanry

It never, ever, stops. Devil Mouse Wars is very pleased to announce its first gay pairing:
In a recent interview with the Coffee With Kenobi podcast, Star Wars Resistance producer Justin Ridge confirmed that Orka and Flix, a pair of alien starship-parts salesmen featured in the Star Wars Resistance cartoon, are the first openly gay couple on screen in the Star Wars mythos.
This exciting "news" comes just after the announced ret-conning and reduction of Emperor Palpatane with the revelation of the real power behind the Empire:
Star Wars has revealed the woman who was actually keeping the Empire together all those years, despite its incompetent leader: Imperial Minister Pitina Voor.

Every fan is going to want to know the woman born Pitina Mar-Mas Voor, twenty-five years before Sheev Palpatine began his rise to power. Married to a lame duck bureaucrat in the Empire's ruling class of competing officers and governors, Pitina saw history repeating itself. That below all the bravado, intimidation, and posturing... the expansion of the Empire through brute force was killing it even as it spread (running out of both soldiers and money). And Pitina just might have led the Galactic Empire to total success, if not for once crucial weakness: Emperor Palpatine had absolutely no idea how to lead.
To the SJW, creativity and story-telling means replacing normal people with homosexuals, white people with black people, and men with women. So brave. Thank you for this.

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97 Comments:

Blogger Rick October 03, 2019 4:19 AM  

It was Hillary’s turn.

Blogger Martin Marprelate October 03, 2019 4:21 AM  

Reducing Emperor Palpatine is going to go over like a lead balloon

Blogger boogeyman October 03, 2019 4:59 AM  

For the longest time I wanted to chalk bad story telling of SJW's up to incompetence, but that ship sailed long ago. Illiterate, drunk, Down syndrome suffering children can at least stumble across a likable character or a coherent story every now and then. Blind squirrels finding nuts and all that. But this level of consistently bad story telling can only come about via malevolent intent.

Blogger Wolfman October 03, 2019 5:01 AM  

Emperor Cuckatine. Oh dear we're gonna need a bigger dumpster to hold all this fire.

Blogger Ultrahardcore October 03, 2019 5:19 AM  

They cucked the Emperor? Of all the characters? Wow this franchise is dying at an exponential rate. Next up you'll have Jedi diddling the Padawans as canon.

Blogger Amethyst Dominica October 03, 2019 5:45 AM  

@5. Oh believe me, they'll work pedophilia into this canon sooner or later. That's their endgame, as it was the endgame of the Ottoman Turks who captured Christian children and turned them into sex slaves. And why did they do this? To show their Christian subjects how powerless they were. With Nu-Wars, we're not witnessing a franchise "progress" to the standards of The Current Year, we're watching a horde of SJWs marching mutilated, humiliated settings and characters past the fans who loved them. The message is clear: We own everything cultural that you love: your stories, your heroes, and we're going to violate them while you watch helplessly, unable to do anything to save them.

Blogger Amethyst Dominica October 03, 2019 5:47 AM  

Update, from the website:

"Related: Disney Cancels Star Wars Resistance as Kylo Ren Appears in Season 2 Trailer"

Wow. That was the fastest case of "Get woke, go broke" I've ever seen.

Blogger Harambe October 03, 2019 5:57 AM  

AND THEN EVERYONE HAD GAY SEX AND THE FORCE ISN'T RELIGION ANYMORE IT'S SCIENCE NOW AND THEN REY SAVED EVERYONE WITH THE POWER OF HER VAGINA AND BELIEVING IN HERSELF REALLY HARD.

Blogger Dave Dave October 03, 2019 5:57 AM  

I have no interest in Star Wars any more and I will never give Disney money again.

Blogger Brett baker October 03, 2019 6:09 AM  

What did Star Wars ever do to Disney?

Blogger My Dead Gramps October 03, 2019 6:12 AM  

"The Galactic Empire is controlled by the machinations of a select few men of a secretive, elite cult."

"That's an outrage,at least half of them should be female aliens of color!"

Blogger Capital6 October 03, 2019 6:12 AM  

Marxist fiction exists. It's terrible. The materialism means that a work is good when it checks off the most check boxes. The metaphysical aspects of stories is deemed irrelevant. The stories lack soul.

It's a shame this happened to Star Wars. Although, the aftermath may be entertaining.

Blogger Borsabil October 03, 2019 6:21 AM  

So let me see if I understand. Jew Jew Abrams is bringing back The Emperor in the new movie as, being at least semi competent, he understands that he has to drum up some interest given the clusterfuck that was The Last Jedi, and the Emperor is the best thing they've got since turning Luke into Jake Skywalker. Meanwhile in another branch of corporate, running an IP that no one cares about, they decide to turn The Emperor into a cuck? WTF? How does that even make sense?

Blogger Miguel October 03, 2019 6:28 AM  

"Thank you for this."

Stop rubbing your hands! :D

Blogger Ferdinand October 03, 2019 6:32 AM  

Isn't the Emperor one of the characters most beloved by the fandom? I am sure turning him from evil mastermind into a baffoon that only had power because of strong wymyn will go over really well.

Blogger Capital6 October 03, 2019 6:38 AM  

They're cucking Palpatine because they want to depict male incompetence. It makes sense when you consider that everything must serve the ideology and present as many ideological elements as possible. They really do have a different method of thinking.

Watch for Pitina to produce peaceful, absolutely perfect plans and negotiations where everyone gets everything. Then, Palpatine mucks it up like a bumbling oaf. Star Wars sitcom when?

Blogger Jim October 03, 2019 6:38 AM  

What's the over/under on Picard coming out in his new series as a bi-curious trans-Romulan in an open relationship with the replicator?

Blogger God Emperor Memes October 03, 2019 6:43 AM  

The Last Jedi was so bad that when my wife texted me about some triviality 20 minutes before the film ended, I walked out of the theatre.

Blogger MichaelJMaier October 03, 2019 6:43 AM  

The guy that took over THE ENTIRE GALAXY via politics is a complete idiot about how they work.

Yeah.... okay.

Blogger MichaelJMaier October 03, 2019 6:45 AM  

If STAR WARS was realistic, this braud would be holding endless meetings, causing endless problems, getting entire populations killed, accomplishing none of her goals, and blaming anyone but herself for the galaxy's problems.

But she'd totally "be the REAL secret person responsible for the success of the Galactic Empire".

Blogger Silent Draco October 03, 2019 6:49 AM  

IIRC, Alt-Hero attracted movie interest as being instant story board. The QM:AMD graphic makes a nice entry for stellar film nour. A graphic treatment for Wardogs, or one of Anspach & Cole's series on the Legion, could start a frenzy and topple Star Wars and Star Trek franchises. Amazing to see the opposition provide both the lever and fulcrum.

Blogger WarKicker October 03, 2019 6:50 AM  

"And Pitina just might have led the Galactic Empire to total success, if not for once crucial weakness: Emperor Palpatine had absolutely no idea how to lead."

What? A brilliant puppetmaster and probably the most interesting character in the Star Wars universe. Of course he should be reduced to a bumbling idiot.

Blogger Sargent.matrim October 03, 2019 6:53 AM  

So Kathleen Kennedy is now writing herself (asking to be written) into the Star Wars universe and Imperial Minister Pitina Voor is her and the Emperor is George Lucas.

And she is claiming it all succeeded because of her all along?

Or am I reading too much into this?

Star Wars died a long time ago. It's now a rotten stinking corpse and I look forward to new and interesting sci-fi worlds.

Blogger Doktor Jeep October 03, 2019 7:04 AM  

See what they do with this skinsuit. That's their plan for everything.

Blogger God Emperor Memes October 03, 2019 7:08 AM  

Am I right in thinking that the reason Gammas are so annoying is because they behave like a smug, know-it-all woman?

Blogger bodenlose Schweinerei October 03, 2019 7:09 AM  

And Pitina just might have led the Galactic Empire to total success

"Total success", cuz you see, silly boys, there's not a thing wrong with empire building, it's just that darned penis that always wrecks it. The Uterine Galactic Empire would be the bestest ever, and nothing bad would ever happen (except to people who deserve it).

Blogger Dan in Georgia October 03, 2019 7:22 AM  

They’re not very good at anything but it’s never just incompetence. That’s why it’s always used as an excuse. That way we go “oh those kids and their screw ups” to excuse them getting caught torturing insects, puppies, babies...

Blogger Fuzzums Wuzzums October 03, 2019 7:24 AM  

[EQUAL REPRESENTATION INTENSIFIES]

Blogger Dan in Georgia October 03, 2019 7:25 AM  

Jedis sense their implied consent in the Force. Do keep up.

Blogger maniacprovost October 03, 2019 7:35 AM  

It sounds realistic to me. A random female bureaucrat thinks that she knows how to run the Empire better than the emperor who created it; so she shows her superior administrative ability by murdering her way up through management.

Blogger ZhukovG October 03, 2019 7:40 AM  

These days when I get the 'glow bat' urge, I play Star Wars, the Old Republic. The stories, particularly for the Sith Empire, are much better than anything Disney has done.

Blogger Skyler the Weird October 03, 2019 7:40 AM  

So the Galactic Empire is run by Nancy Pelosi and Teresa May?

Blogger JACIII October 03, 2019 7:41 AM  

Nice to see Disney following the same playbook as the SF publishers who wrecked themselves by turning their unique product into just another series of trashy romance stories.

Blogger Br1cht October 03, 2019 7:42 AM  

The only saving grace in this whole debacle is that they killed the profitable licensing of the ip to Hasbro et al. At least Hasbro´s profit has taken a turn for the worse in SW products, while Marvel licensing continues to make shekels hand over paw. If you then regard the curve for the movies it suggests that they managed to severely hurt the ip in the eyes of the people.

The failure of Galaxies Edge in the parks combined with the sidelining of Kennedy also suggest that there will be less return for the satanic mouse(rat) in future necromantic endeavors.

Blogger Skyler the Weird October 03, 2019 7:43 AM  

She didn't even murder her way thru management she was just the Empire's version of Zoey Quinn.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine October 03, 2019 7:45 AM  

"Star Wars has revealed the woman who was actually keeping the Empire together all those years, despite its incompetent leader: Imperial Minister Pitina Voor."

Wammen can be dark lords too!

Except, well, it's been done before. By that fiend Edgar Rice Burroughs, among others.

Blogger Sillon October 03, 2019 7:47 AM  

maniacprovost wrote:It sounds realistic to me. A random female bureaucrat thinks that she knows how to run the Empire better than the emperor who created it; so she shows her superior administrative ability by murdering her way up through management.

Of course, whamen are better sith lords than men.

Blogger Taqiyyotomist October 03, 2019 7:48 AM  

@6 "The message is clear: We own everything cultural that you love: your stories, your heroes, and we're going to violate them while you watch helplessly, unable to do anything to save them."

You're spot-on. When the new Black Little Mermaid was announced, the main reaction on most of "black Twitter" wasn't "Wow, this is going to be a great character and story!" No, the majority of their tweets were "Ha-ha, white people!!" and Gifs of middle fingers and of black people laughing and dancing in front of sad white people. They don't care about the Little Mermaid at all. It's only about shivving The Whites.

Blogger Sillon October 03, 2019 7:49 AM  

Seriously what the fuck, this is accelerating so fast lately that my capacity for surprise is reaching limits I didn't even thought were possible.

I'd like to see the face(s) of whomever came with this "secret queen" twist. I bet physiognomy is real.

Blogger Dan in Georgia October 03, 2019 7:52 AM  

Breaking Vader

Palpetine: Come in Darth, you could’ve rang the doorbell, you know.

(Canned laughter ensues)

Vader: I AM THE DANGER!! I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!

(Audience gasps)

Palpetine: WTF? Again with the drama? You always were a gamma,
Skywalker!

(Audience gasps)

Vader: you’re right. I’ll try to do better.

(Looks chagrined, takes helmet off and dies)

Palpetine: Nooooooooo! I never got to say I love you!

(Audience cries and applauds)

fin

Blogger Azure Amaranthine October 03, 2019 7:52 AM  

"my capacity for surprise"

You still have a what, now?

Blogger Taqiyyotomist October 03, 2019 7:56 AM  

Also, does this woman signify that the Empire was actually on the Good side all along, until it was made Bad by a man? You can't have a woman as a villain, after all.

On a related note, an insider at Blizzard said that the next Diablo installment will explain that the demons were actually the Good Guys all along, and that Heaven in the series was actually the villain from the start, and will make this the "bold, shocking twist". Because demonism is good, now, of course. Everywhere you look.

Blogger CarpeOro October 03, 2019 8:01 AM  

Nothing to see here, move along.

Literally. GTFO, white man.

Of course, the new plot is completely wrong. Everyone knows JarJar has been the puppet master the entire time.

Blogger Sam October 03, 2019 8:02 AM  

Star Wars already did have a female leader partially running the Empire- Ysanne Isard head of the Imperial Intelligence who managed to declare herself empress after Palpatine died. Of course since she isn't a Mary Sue they had to come up with a new character to be their self insert.

Blogger Cataline Sergius October 03, 2019 8:07 AM  

I was only joking when I said, KK's story group was going to come up with a Mary Sue Empress after Snoke died!

Really guys, I was only joking.

I wasn't trying to throw down the gauntlet. I swear!

Blogger John Bradley October 03, 2019 8:08 AM  

I await future movies, in which they Grand Moff Tarkin the ‘70s era cast back into existence, just so they can sh*t on them again and again.

Literally, if they want to appeal to the German market.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine October 03, 2019 8:11 AM  

"Really guys, I was only joking.

I wasn't trying to throw down the gauntlet. I swear!"


Since you're holding it, what kind of beer does wammen drink?

Blogger lowercaseb October 03, 2019 8:11 AM  

Isn't the Emperor one of the characters most beloved by the fandom?

And now you see why Sheev had to be dug up and his corpse defiled by the Whammen.

Just like JJ and Rian, these ladies are heroes. They are forcing us to walk away from the old so we can create the new.

Hell, even Mark Hamill is doing his part as as Cataline sums up best. Bravely stepping up and allowing us to let go of the memory of Luke Skywalker.

Blogger Cataline Sergius October 03, 2019 8:13 AM  

Apparently the Emperor was Trump and Patina was...Kelly-Anne?!?!

Within a year I had established The Coalition for Progress and coined the Three Guiding Tenets of Imperial Outreach. First we show the people the face of chaos. The pirates, the raiders, the mobsters and the monsters.

Some are real--most we invent.

Anything to make the dumb natives beg for a garrison to save them. Next we show them how perfect their worlds could be in the Emperor's embrace. Such order, such calm! (I don't mind telling you: we've become extremely gifted at making false smiles look natural.)
And lastly? Oh--just a casual afterthought!--we conspicuously wipe a tear for the worlds that said 'No.'

These days, two our of three conflicts resolve without a single shot fired. You understand? I have saved this regime.

I have built a culture that transcends the clenched first. I have nursed this Empire with a lie, in the expectation that eventually it will become a truth: harmony and prosperity are the rewards of those who submit. And he. Is ruining. Everything. --Patina Voor


Yes, this is an actual quote. I did not make this up.

Blogger Desdichado October 03, 2019 8:14 AM  

Except, well, it's been done before. By that fiend Edgar Rice Burroughs, among others.

La was a villain to remember.

Blogger Fuzzums Wuzzums October 03, 2019 8:16 AM  

maniacprovost wrote:It sounds realistic to me. A random female bureaucrat thinks that she knows how to run the Empire better than the emperor who created it; so she shows her superior administrative ability by murdering her way up through management.

This reminds me of the game Horizon Zero Dawn. The first hours you spend as a strong empowered female character living in a matriarchal hunter-gatherer society. You find out that the worst tribe out there are the Carja, a violent war-driven patriarchal society. You then go explore the open world and at some point arrive at the Carja capital. It turns out that your matriarchal tribe was seen as a bunch of savages by everyone and while your people still lived in mud-huts the Carja had science, skyscrapers, elevators, universities, trade routes, engineering, running clean water, and all the other tribes wanted to be their friends.

It's funny how even in their own propaganda they still have actual truths that slip through the cracks. I guess that's what happens when you let women run your propaganda department.

Blogger Nostromo October 03, 2019 8:22 AM  

Robot Chicken did it.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan October 03, 2019 8:35 AM  

If Shakespeare was writing it it could possibly interesting. But it will be the gamma wish fulfillment, stronk woman with strange pornographic like sexual desires for childish males. Boring.

Blogger CarpeOro October 03, 2019 8:36 AM  

Of course when you think about it, Lucas did create the background for this. Consider, in Episode I we were introduced to a planet that elected teenage girls as their supreme rulers. That is the only qualification we are told about (remember, her successor is a young India chickee). Period. From the character development we saw she wasn't a figure head, she would make unilateral decisions regarding her planet's policies and ignore her personal security adviser regularly.

Let that all sink in. Now, despite all of that, the only indication of incompetence for her leadership is that they failed to live up to their end of a trade agreement with the Trade Federation.

What, you think the TF started their harassment of her planet for no reason at all? No chance - it would have broke up as the members would see no one willing to trade because they couldn't be trusted. Another huge plot hole left by Lucas. We are suppose to sympathize with Natalie Portman because she is a pretty young, strong woman, girl, unjustly being held accountable for foolishly signing a contract that she couldn't live up to.

Of course she later succumbs to the charms of Anakin (dancing the edge of pedophilia there - wasn't he 16 when she saw him again in Episode II? And she was what, 23 or 24? If it was reversed age wise there may have been a bit of an uproar from the feminazis). He slaughters an entire village of Sand People, she is sympathetic. So strong. Talks about not living a lie. Gives in to it.

Honestly, the first time I saw Natalie Portman in Episode I as the queen I thought "this can't end well" even without knowing who Anakin really was. Yet this is where Lucas was taking it. Female school teachers being seduced by their students and therefore not responsible. Writ on a larger canvas. This new version may not be logically connected to the previous version but there sure is a trajectory there. Hey, maybe it was Lucas's wife that really wrote Star Wars.

Blogger Uncle John's Band October 03, 2019 8:39 AM  

"even Mark Hamill is doing his part"

Proving once again that a husk can dance.

The ballad of Mark Hamill's soul would be a tragedy were it not inconsequential.

Blogger Ransom Smith October 03, 2019 8:41 AM  

I could not be more thrilled about this development.
So many people will owe me money when this cart goes off the rails soon.

Blogger Arthur Isaac October 03, 2019 8:47 AM  

Aging feminist bureaucrats are what make the World go around. Just ask them. This is fan fiction.

Blogger Nikolai Collushnikov October 03, 2019 9:22 AM  

Star Wars is a reflection of %current_year% politics. If Obama was still President of the Empire, Palpatine wouldn't be portrayed as incompetent. Good vs. Evil is only a social construct.

Blogger Jack Ward October 03, 2019 9:26 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Cataline Sergius October 03, 2019 9:49 AM  

@49

The funny part here is just how much the Whamen at Lucasfilm let the mask slip with this character.

They honestly believe they can conquer the world with propaganda and social media. There won't be any need for military force to do it.

This does make a fairly clear break with George Lucas and his making the empire a stand in for Nazi Germany.

Blogger Drake Stake October 03, 2019 9:51 AM  

Was it "forced" consent?

Blogger doctrev October 03, 2019 9:51 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger doctrev October 03, 2019 9:51 AM  

Perfection. I was worried that the lemmings would run to the sound of Palpatine's laughter, but the ones who are most on the fence will hop off Star Wars from this reveal. It's like they have a talent for destroying themselves. How odd, one would never associate self-destructive behavior with those that grabble.

Blogger Phelps October 03, 2019 9:51 AM  

So how do you convey that aliens are gay? How do we know that they even have two sexes? Are we going to explicitly explain through exposition that among their people they are sexual deviants and perverts? Does that make sense?

And Pitina just might have led the Galactic Empire to total success, if not for once crucial weakness: Emperor Palpatine had absolutely no idea how to lead.

Right. Because all the people who DO know how to lead get stuck as back office bureaucrats while those uninspiring alphas get all the glory.

Blogger Joe October 03, 2019 9:54 AM  

Disney was able to fool some of the fan boys one more time with a finely timed bait and switch. I almost said one final time, but some people will never learn.

Blogger Drake Stake October 03, 2019 9:57 AM  

Quinn is disgusting...can't believe the level of thirst that some men have that they'd sleep with her flabby, potatoe shaped body and then actually give her something in return.

Blogger Drake Stake October 03, 2019 10:00 AM  

Its ok she won't really be evil. It will be revealed how she is this way because men made her act that way. She'll have a 180 last minute and all will be forgiven.
Don't forget, nothing is ever a woman's fault.

Blogger Fargle Gumpshite October 03, 2019 10:03 AM  

...
Pitina? Isn’t that an Italian cold cut?

Blogger cecilhenry October 03, 2019 10:07 AM  


Destroying White civilization is the inmost desire of the league of designated victims we call minorities.

https://i.imgur.com/OjVoKjm.png


The whole Star Wars series is soooo dead to me.

Its absolutely laughable.

The vicious, anti-White motives are so transparent, and laughably inept.

YOu can call a pig an elephant and pretend... but the jokes on you alone for such a farce.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan October 03, 2019 10:12 AM  

"With a whimper" not even Putin takes the Banana Empire and its Clown World vision seriously anymore. I thought Putin was wasting his time with his intellectual act towards the American State and apparently he has changed his tack either from influence from the Dissident Right edgelords or for the conspiracy minded the empowerment of crazy women in the West was a long term KGB plot with Putin now striking for the death blow.

See Zerohedge for the Putin trolls America article. I would have titled it, "Russian Alpha Male Mocks American Low SMV."

Blogger FUBARwest October 03, 2019 10:22 AM  

"Consider, in Episode I we were introduced to a planet that elected teenage girls as their supreme rulers."

Also consider that the planet ruled by a teenage girl was conquered by a trade federation and had to be saved by two white Male jedi and a 9 year old white boy.

As far as pedophilia goes, look up the Indiana Jones post on the blog.

Star Wars is dead. It's been dead, depending on who you ask, since 1980, 1983 1999, or the moment GL sold his baby to "white slavers". It's not cominng back. Wait for Castalia House's space opera. It will be much better than the fanfiction that's being shoveled.

Blogger Matt Robison October 03, 2019 10:32 AM  

The people all think if they had power, they would be able to wield it properly.

And so the problem with the Empire and the Emperor wasn't that he was evil. It's that he didn't wield his power for the proper causes.

Barf.

Blogger C October 03, 2019 10:38 AM  

Sam wrote:Ysanne Isard head of the Imperial Intelligence who managed to declare herself empress after Palpatine died.

I read those X-Wing books - she was only compelling when she was devising a disease that specifically affected non-humans to sow discord in the New Republic and when she was forced into faking her own death. Isard had a bunch of wanton cruel acts to her name, but otherwise, she was very much "Ha ha ha, I am evil."

Blogger Noah B. October 03, 2019 11:13 AM  

Homo alien porn. In space!

Blogger Snidely Whiplash October 03, 2019 11:13 AM  

cecilhenry wrote:Destroying White civilization is the inmost desire of the league of designated victims we call minorities.
Well, (((one))) of them. the rest just want to kill Whitey and steal his stuff.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl October 03, 2019 11:26 AM  

On an OT note, Chris Rock, Miley Cyrus and some other ppl invested in a newly opened marijuana Cafe in LA like they have in Amsterdam.
They chose a large demon to be part of the decor.
Pics and story up at the Daily Mail.

Blogger Damelon Brinn October 03, 2019 11:34 AM  

In related grrl power news, WaPo put a Washington Mystics (that's a WNBA team, for the 99% of people who never heard of it) loss in a WNBA finals game on the front page above the Nationals' wild card win last night. Just another example of a converged organization virtue-signaling over profit, because there were thousands of people looking for the Nationals story for every one looking for the WNBA. Then of course the authoress and others took to social media to shame any men who objected, accusing them of hating or being threatened by women.

So tiresome.

Blogger Eli October 03, 2019 11:45 AM  

I know I voted for you to do a take on Thor, but with all this news about the continually terrible direction Disney Star Wars is going I'm now looking forward to what you can do in a Space Opera setting.

Blogger Joe Smith October 03, 2019 11:46 AM  

"Every fan is going to want to know the woman born Pitina Mar-Mas Voor," should read, "No fan cares at all anymore what the Devil Mouse has to say about Palpatine, Voor or anything else."

Blogger Argus Bacchus October 03, 2019 12:31 PM  

Isaiah 3:12

Again.

Blogger Oswald October 03, 2019 12:42 PM  

They will not get a dime of my money to go see anything Star Wars related.

Blogger Latigo3 October 03, 2019 12:52 PM  

Paul had it right two thousand years ago

Blogger Longtime Lurker October 03, 2019 1:26 PM  

The only thing missing from this Star Wars mess is a surprise cameo appearance by Kiva Lagos.

Blogger Steve Samson October 03, 2019 1:27 PM  

Star Wars died a long time ago. It's now a rotten stinking corpse and I look forward to new and interesting sci-fi worlds.

Vaguely OT but can anyone recommend anything? I'm loving ATOB and would like to get into a sci-fi book that's similarly non-converged.

Blogger Newscaper312 October 03, 2019 1:31 PM  

FYI saw Ad Astra in theater other night. Don't waste your money. Film had some aspirations(pretensions?) to some character depth, but it was frustrating. Solid to great actors, pretty decent core idea, good budget and FX, crippled by just plain dumb writing. Not just dumb on technical points for a story supposed to be realistic near future, but dumb on plotting and dumb on characterization.
You could see the committee over the script writers saying "we need more action, lets tack on a pointless shootout/rover chase on the lunar surface, and a short space station side quest for a bit of horror (also dumb). Ugh.

Blogger Lovekraft October 03, 2019 3:15 PM  

@84: "At the Mountains of Madness" by HPL

With Obama on the Netflix board, it's safe to assume companies like Disney would be consulting with operatives from globalist NGOs and DNC. Not to beat a dead theory to death, but looking at the voting demographic aspect of the upcoming election, and how lots of messages are intended to sway the lower- and middle-class female vote, any creative direction like this (brings gender to the fore) will invite suspicion.

Guess we'll find out what ultimate message Disney is pushing when we see it. If the ending shows some gaia earth-Goddess-type message of rebirth under a color-blind sun, we would witness some adolescent-targeted propaganda, nothing more. The counter would be an ending in which peace never means an end to conflict, but rather an opportunity to prevent it.

Blogger tublecane October 03, 2019 3:33 PM  

How exactly does failing to stop the incompetent Palpatine from screwing up the galactic empire not make her a failure, too. Even when they try to empower women they make them backseat drivers who shy away from responsibility.

By the way, why is everyone suddenly calling the Emperor "Sheev?" To belittle him?

Blogger Living in a Fallen World October 03, 2019 3:37 PM  

They've lessened every other character. I suppose this was inevitable.

Every other character except Leia, that is. She turned into a holy angel or something.

Blogger tublecane October 03, 2019 3:45 PM  

@God Emperor Memes- If they acted perfectly like women, it wouldn't be a problem. Because they'd be easily identifiable and dismissable as essentially ugly women. But they are male enough to worm into our social hierarchy and corrupt from within.

Blogger tublecane October 03, 2019 3:55 PM  

@CarpeOro- We're not shown the precise limitations of Naboobian Queens. Perhaps the emergency of blockade and war was not the best time for us to learn.

In any case Palpatine as Naboobian Senator appeared to have a lot of power. The Queen deferred to him in the capital.

Blogger tublecane October 03, 2019 4:05 PM  

@Cataline Sergius- Lucas was flexible regarding stand-ins for real personalities and organizations, I think. Because he had different thoughts to express about power in different story situations. Vader was like an S.S. officer in the first movie, but the imperial style was more Japanese. And I think early on the Empire was supposed to be like his vision of Tricky Dick Nixon's administration.

Then, in Return of the Jedi, ewoks are the Vietcong which I guess makes the Empire American. In Phantom Menace the Trade Federation resembles one of those British colonial companies, Naboo and the Gungans I guess are like American patriots. The galactic Senate is like the U.N. In Attack of the Clones the clone army and civil war aspects make Palpatine look like Abe Lincoln.

On the other hand, the Nü Order of recent films is just pure Angry White Guys.

Blogger Pathfinderlight October 03, 2019 6:39 PM  

The Disney plan to demolish Star Wars and pave over it might have succeeded if the people in charge weren't completely arrogant fools. Every medium of communication has a basic set of skills. Ignore them, and it sounds false or odd. Losing track of these while chasing your narrative goals is an amateur mistake.

Blogger Ty Richards October 03, 2019 6:43 PM  

They are drowning in a see of retarded sexuality

Blogger Redbeard October 03, 2019 7:07 PM  

Truly, she was the real secret queen

Blogger Amethyst Dominica October 03, 2019 8:11 PM  

@42
On a related note, an insider at Blizzard said that the next Diablo installment will explain that the demons were actually the Good Guys all along, and that Heaven in the series was actually the villain from the start, and will make this the "bold, shocking twist". Because demonism is good, now, of course. Everywhere you look.


So Blizzard is going to make the same lame plot twist that every Japanese RPG that has ever incorporated Christian symbolism or a giant Vatican-like church into its plot has ever made. In that case, you might as well save your money and pick up a vintage copy of Grandia 2 for the PS2. At least then you'll have sexy demons to look at and some pretty good voice acting to appreciate.

Blogger Azimus October 04, 2019 12:14 AM  

Its actually a secret king plot

Blogger Obama's boyfriend October 04, 2019 4:44 PM  

This is how cultures die.

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