Wednesday, January 08, 2020

Wallis Markle

While I'm not into British Royal porn, and I certainly expected Megan Markle to be an epic disaster, I never anticipated that she would actually manage to get Prince Harry exiled to Canada this quickly.
Harry and Meghan have quit as senior royals and revealed they will live between the UK and North America while working to become financially independent.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex made their announcement in a statement on their official Instagram account this evening.

They wrote: 'After many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution. We intend to step back as 'senior' members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen. It is with your encouragement, particularly over the last few years, that we feel prepared to make this adjustment. We now plan to balance our time between the United Kingdom and North America, continuing to honour our duty to The Queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages.'
So much for the whole "isn't it great he married an African" narrative.

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Blogger Dave January 08, 2020 4:03 PM  

Financially independent? Is the Duchess going back to acting? Perhaps they could do a reality show and become the next Kardashians.

Blogger stevev January 08, 2020 4:05 PM  

Markle might be able to ride an acting income stream due to her notoriety, but what the heck does Prince Harry have to offer, that would bring in the kind of money that household would require. Financial independence, my ass. Please, God, no Sussex Family reality show.

Blogger xevious2030 January 08, 2020 4:06 PM  

"starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution"

Hopefully the Queen put in her order for Corporate Cancer today.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd January 08, 2020 4:11 PM  

Marry woke, get broke. And exiled to the Frozen North.

Blogger cecilhenry January 08, 2020 4:19 PM  

Uggh. Good riddance.

The Queen and the 'Royal Family' accept that anyone regardless of color can be English.

THEIR birth means everything. A White Englishman’s birth means nothing.

The “Royal” family in Britain does not care what nationality or race their subjects are.

So long as they have SUBJECTS.

Be gone!!!!

Blogger Weak January 08, 2020 4:21 PM  

Taking "get woke, go broke" to epic proportions.

Blogger Robert Browning January 08, 2020 4:24 PM  

They really love each other. Isn't that funny?

Blogger John Best. January 08, 2020 4:24 PM  

Well, everybody in world saw this coming.

Blogger Silly but True January 08, 2020 4:25 PM  

“ to become financially independent.”

Maybe they’ve seen the initial settlement figures for Prince Andrew?

Blogger RobertDWood January 08, 2020 4:28 PM  

I didn't figure either of them to be such ardent hockey fans.

Blogger Avalanche January 08, 2020 4:30 PM  

Funny, they think they are "stepping back as senior royals" since they just got slapped down rather hard by future King Charles -- who made it clear at the 50th anniversary of his investiture as Prince of Wales, that they were NOT "senior royals" -- the party and entrance were FOR actual senior royals, which did NOT include little miss africa and her maid-in-waiting Harry. She was apparently trying to bull her way into the room -- nearly ahead of the Queen! Charles turned back and spoke severely to her/them; and then, as he and the Queen entered the display, aides chivvied them through and away.

Still wish someone would pick up some DNA of the henpecked-and-submissive redhead and check the genetics out against the riding instructor/security guy...

No, I don't follow them; tripped over a short vid and watched it... Impulse, not plan...

Blogger The Cooler January 08, 2020 4:31 PM  

We intend to step back as 'senior' members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent

Why yes, Harry, I would like fries with that.

Blogger Keith January 08, 2020 4:33 PM  

Ok, this is getting weird:

>BREAKING. BBC Understands that no other member of the Royal Family was consulted before Harry and Meghan issued their personal statement tonight, the Palace is understood to be ‘disappointed’.

Personally, I was hoping this all came about because the Queen kicked them the hell out.

Blogger Uncle Maffoo January 08, 2020 4:33 PM  

How exactly will they become financially independent? She goes back to acting in crappy tv shows? I doubt being a helicopter pilot can support their lifestyle.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 January 08, 2020 4:35 PM  

while working to become financially independent

So like, Patreon or something?

Blogger Salt January 08, 2020 4:38 PM  

So they're not going to bless the rains down in Africa.

Blogger Akulkis January 08, 2020 4:39 PM  

How's that saying go about how everything they do ends screwed up?

Oh yes...

Africa Always Wins.

Blogger thechortling January 08, 2020 4:39 PM  

Ridiculous how those carrying that narrative fail to see the cultural
appropriation pus bath they're showering on their idol.

Blogger tublecane January 08, 2020 4:48 PM  

"Working to become financially independent"

Does that mean Megan is back to prostitutio...I mean, acting?

Does Harry get an army pension? Because that would be the only money he earned on his own, I think.

Blogger Newscaper312 January 08, 2020 4:52 PM  

Hmm. Prince Andrew is also now no longer a 'senor royal'.
Wonder if the Windsor Hall of Shame will get any more entries.

Blogger Old Griz January 08, 2020 4:59 PM  

She leads. He follows. Sad.

Blogger Crew January 08, 2020 4:59 PM  

I think the shine will come off the wood pile soon.

Blogger Logan January 08, 2020 5:11 PM  

Who woulda thunk marrying a divorcee from a completely different civilization could end up in chaos.

Blogger weka January 08, 2020 5:11 PM  

Immaterial. Second son. Not in line of succession.

Harry's from now, like Andrew's, is be a warning

Blogger MATT January 08, 2020 5:15 PM  

Wow that was fast. She must have some impressive moves. That or the royal groupies need to up their game.

BTW, am I the only one having trouble posting comments using Samsung Browser? I can only use Chrome. I hate Chrome.

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( according to the 13th Amendment, Slavery is neither Cruel nor Unusual: MSAGA ) January 08, 2020 5:22 PM  

work to become financially independent

oh, this should be good.

i'm sure Prince Harry is AT LEAST as talented as Princess Chelsea Clinton.

and i'm sure this couldn't possibly have anything to do with the Queen cutting their allowance.

while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen.

by doing things the Queen doesn't approve of for any other royal? ( and that's a low bar, viz Prince-ophile Andrew )

go on. pull the other one.

Blogger Sargent.matrim January 08, 2020 5:42 PM  

Could this have been his way out?

Blogger Geir Balderson January 08, 2020 5:44 PM  

I suppose Harry can become an Uber driver and Meggie can give acting lessons? How will they keep up their carbon spewing lifestyle?

Blogger Daniel January 08, 2020 5:49 PM  

Between the UK and North America? So...Greenland?

Blogger bramley January 08, 2020 5:57 PM  

Perhaps Harry has been working on his pimp hand... Or he's going into partnership with Uncle A-Money?

Blogger Newscaper312 January 08, 2020 5:59 PM  

@26 furor

pull the other what?
leg or finger?

Blogger Rickaby007 January 08, 2020 6:03 PM  

Still don't know why he married her. She's merely an aged ghetto thot with mediocre looks and seemingly no brains. A man of his standing could have almost any woman -- so why such a low quality one? The whole spectacle is quite bizarre and doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Blogger SDaly January 08, 2020 6:03 PM  

I think they are in talks with ABC to star in a new sitcom “Royal-ish”.

Blogger Unseen11 January 08, 2020 6:05 PM  

Prince harry following in the footsteps of his great uncle then?

Blogger Balkan Yankee January 08, 2020 6:09 PM  

The clueless schemers are trying to outlast Queen Elizabeth, who is only 93. But will they be allowed back on the royal dole after the Queen passes from the scene?

Blogger Scuzzaman January 08, 2020 6:17 PM  

So they're abandoning their jobs but still expect to get paid?

Not sure the Queen is going to consider that "full support".

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( according to the 13th Amendment, Slavery is neither Cruel nor Unusual: MSAGA ) January 08, 2020 6:19 PM

particularly fitting for Prince Harry given the first example provided.

"You, the descendant of a king? Pull the other one, mate!"

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 08, 2020 6:38 PM  

The memes of their future endeavors will be funny as heck.

Blogger Retrenched January 08, 2020 6:39 PM  

Even being born a prince doesn't make one immune from gammatude apparently. I think this is what Heartiste would call a "paper alpha".

Blogger Johnny January 08, 2020 6:40 PM  

>>work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen...

The formula: Send Money = Support Her Majesty.

That is financial independence of a sort. The prince can leverage his circumstance into an allowance. Money is money however it arrives.

Blogger Calvin809 January 08, 2020 6:44 PM  

Financially independent, also know as working on the board of some multinational corporation that he knows nothing about.

Blogger Hammerli 280 January 08, 2020 6:44 PM  

@17: Yup. From the immortal Kim Du Toit himself.

Blogger Hammerli 280 January 08, 2020 6:45 PM  

This development is the extreme. I wonder what the back-story is? And there HAS to be one.

Blogger papabear January 08, 2020 6:50 PM  

Harry can learn to code.

Blogger Doktor Jeep January 08, 2020 6:51 PM  

The truth about their baby will come out.

Blogger J Van Stry January 08, 2020 6:53 PM  

Never believe the spin, right? I suspect he jumped before he got pushed. They're looking to establish 'financial independence' because they're probably going to be cut off financially and know it's coming.
The writing for this has been on the wall for a while now. Ever since the Queen named their child, it was kinda obvious something like this was in the works.

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 08, 2020 7:05 PM  

Alas poor Harry.

He got his Dad's looks and his Mom's brains.

Blogger Silent Draco January 08, 2020 7:06 PM  

C'mon, cheer up everyone! How about a song?

"Henry the Ain't I am,
Henry the Ain't I am I am ..."

Blogger SebastianX1/9 January 08, 2020 7:21 PM  

The first comment @Dave pegged it. I'm waiting for the Royal trailer park reality show, with her sitting on the toilet talking about her menstrual cycle while the quirky Harry shovels snow and has an encounter with an adorable mouse. He will become an insufferable environmentalist and she will preach empowerment and globohomo.

Blogger Azimus January 08, 2020 7:26 PM  

That African is the last offensive of the American Revolution - if she can hang around long enough she will bring down the House of Windsor/Saxe-Coburg-Gotha.

Blogger Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi January 08, 2020 7:30 PM  

Meh, he probably isn't the real Prince Harry.

Blogger Dirtnapninja January 08, 2020 7:39 PM  

Harry could work as a helicopter bush pilot i suppose.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash January 08, 2020 7:42 PM  

Longtime Lurker wrote:The clueless schemers are trying to outlast Queen Elizabeth, who is only 93. But will they be allowed back on the royal dole after the Queen passes from the scene?
Consider that the heir apparent may well consider him to be no more than is ex-wife's bastard child. And who would have more motivation or ability find out whether Harry really is?

Blogger urthshu January 08, 2020 7:50 PM  

I don't expect they'll have a lot of difficulty being financially stable, to be honest. Harry can advise in military affairs for Canada (how much harm could he do?) and of course there's selling access. Markle is a question. By some accounts she likes a good bump of coke and we know she's an utter snob. Canada has only legalized pot but I bet they settle around Vancouver for the rest.

Blogger urthshu January 08, 2020 8:00 PM  

"suspect he jumped before he got pushed."

They were looking seriously/publicly since at least April of 2019. Meghan was considering alternative citizenship with an African country. Canada might be the compromise.

Blogger Matrick January 08, 2020 8:12 PM  

Sounds like the announcement caught the palace off guard, but possibly preempted being pushed.
I think they plan to try and trade on their royal status but don't want to be held to account for their spending.
I accept that Harry requires security, but if they want to play it this way then their earnings must be made to cover what the British public pay before they get to live in luxury. I only hope that the public force them to do so.

Blogger CHL419 January 08, 2020 8:14 PM  

Maybe the Nigerian Prince E-mail scam will be real now !

Blogger Joe January 08, 2020 8:37 PM  

Word on the street (from the Twitterverse) is 'arry iz goin' to go the Door Dash/Uber driver route; they'll be fine!

Blogger artensoll January 08, 2020 8:40 PM  

Canada really will let in any old Tom, Dick or Harry eh?

Blogger Kiwi January 08, 2020 8:40 PM  

Unlike our politicians, Prince Harry and Prince William are extremely popular here. If they announced a move to NZ, which I've mused that they might, there would be parades, larger than for America's cup or Rugby world cup wins. A holiday would be declared. Those young men, and their grandmother, bring a genuine smile to the faces here. Australians would react in a similar way IMO.

Charles et al, no not popular, weak, not welcome, not kiwi, no mana.

Blogger jkmack January 08, 2020 9:01 PM  

proverbs 31: 10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

the inverse is also true.

Blogger Nostromo January 08, 2020 10:36 PM  

Try Brave

Blogger Shield up sword swinging pipes blasting January 08, 2020 10:52 PM  

The current state of Canada.

Blogger Gulo Gulo January 08, 2020 10:59 PM  

I give it less than a year before she's web camming to pay the bills

Blogger Shield up sword swinging pipes blasting January 08, 2020 11:03 PM  

These comments are a royal blast!

Blogger weka January 08, 2020 11:41 PM  

@Kiwi. NZ Herald estimated Harry is worth 62M Markle 9M. If avoid Queenstown can a spread and have a horizontal and survive.

The Buckingham Palace centre notes that a negotiation is happening.

Wait 72 hours.

Blogger bodenlose Schweinerei January 09, 2020 12:01 AM  

"Financially independent", eh? Well, you know what they say, once you go black, you can't get credit.

Blogger God Emperor Memes January 09, 2020 12:02 AM  

He *is* a ginger. They tend to have appropriately low self-esteem.

Blogger JamesB.BKK January 09, 2020 12:28 AM  

The Queen and chancellors were having Nunavut.

Blogger JovianStorm January 09, 2020 3:53 AM  

Meghan is every Instathot's dream...

Let Prince Weakdick enjoy his marriage. Good for him. The UK has turned from a plucky island full of Empire-building victory to a socialist cuckville full of brown clots and soy-based feminism. There's no better representative than Harty, Harry or Barry or whatever he is.

Maybe someday the working man will overthrow his gender-flexible conquerer and we'll get men like Churchill and Nelson again.

Blogger bobby January 09, 2020 3:56 AM  

It's cold in Canada. This won't last.

Blogger Lazarus January 09, 2020 4:33 AM  

Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi wrote:Meh, he probably isn't the real Prince Harry.

Other stories on the site in the sidebar:

Colorado: 61-year-old catholic nun falls pregnant after unknowingly eating 12 lbs of bull testicles.
Star Trek fan who claimed wife died during teleportation experiment sentenced to life in prison for murder
Babysitter transported to hospital after inserting a baby in her vagina
Morgue employee cremated by mistake while taking a nap
Couple hospitalized after man gets his head stuck in his wife’s vagina


Blogger Olga January 09, 2020 4:53 AM  

"unemployed, in Greenland" - The Princess Bride

Blogger Karen took the Kids January 09, 2020 4:53 AM  

As the Great Jesse Lee Peterson would say, "BETA".

Blogger VD January 09, 2020 5:05 AM  

Unlike our politicians, Prince Harry and Prince William are extremely popular here.

Six months of Princess Megan will cure the former.

Blogger Akulkis January 09, 2020 5:51 AM  

"I wonder what the back-story is?"

There is no back-story. There's history.

If you want to defeat Hollywood, then quit propagating their mindset.
Such as using "reveal" as a noun.

There's no such thing as "a reveal" or "the big reveal". There is, however, such a thing as a revelation.

You get one guess as to why (((Hollywood))) sure as anything doesn't want to use THAT particular noun.

Blogger JamesB.BKK January 09, 2020 6:27 AM  

Jesse would probably add, "She black. She also white."

Blogger Avalanche January 09, 2020 7:14 AM  

@32 "A man of his standing could have almost any woman -- so why such a low quality one?"

My guess is she's got the usual "I'm a resentful black victim of EVERYTHING RACIST, albeit getting paid $40k per episode of trash TV -- very Kapernick of her, eh wot? And probably it's the first time any "cool-American-chick" allied her victimhood with Harry's secretly gamma life. For sure, all those beautiful WHITE girls he dated were classy and seemingly well-raised. No aggrieved partners there!

For all he was a helo pilot and 'fought' in Argentina, Harry was also carefully protected and shepherded from birth. Add in, he was "the spare" so the chances of him ever growing up to have a purpose to his life, were minuscule. Add in his handsome, tall, feted, older brother 100% destined to BECOME King -- no secret there! -- plus all their lives, no permanent rumors towards William about 'who's yer daddy?'

How could "Prince" Harry ever be anything but a secretly resentful gamma who was clearly never going to BE king, unless his brother died... and then Prince George died... and then Princess Charlotte died ... and THEN Prince Louis died. And, rumor has it, Wm and Kate want another kid.

Blogger Beardy Bear January 09, 2020 8:54 AM  

Is their baby a moon baby?

Blogger justthinkin January 09, 2020 9:03 AM  

Handsome? Let's not go overboard.

Blogger daddynichol January 09, 2020 10:26 AM  

As in the good old days, they should have been banished to Australia. Harry could work as a fire fighter, while the African Queen could pick up the charred dead animals. At least it would be meaningful work.

Blogger Robert What? January 09, 2020 1:31 PM  

Who would pay to, or even want to, watch an aging African slut?

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( according to the 13th Amendment, Slavery is neither Cruel nor Unusual: MSAGA ) January 09, 2020 2:15 PM  

66. weka January 08, 2020 11:41 PM
NZ Herald estimated Harrworty is h 62M Markle 9M.

the NZ Herald doesn't appear to be familiar with how divorces work.

especially now that there's an infant and the 'tender years' doctrine will surely apply.

Blogger Robin January 09, 2020 6:32 PM  

Another blow to Canada. The local progressives and cat ladies won’t be able to get enough of their trash woke princess. Perhaps Her Majesty will give us all a break and strip them of their titles.

Blogger Daniele Grech Pereira January 10, 2020 6:28 AM  

"Once you go black, you never go back!"

You CAN never go back.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd January 10, 2020 9:41 AM  

urthshu wrote:19. Meghan was considering alternative citizenship with an African country. Canada might be the compromise.
Considering citizenship in Africa.
That is stunningly stupid.
No doubt she would fit right in in any African country that would have her.

Blogger Akulkis January 10, 2020 11:42 AM  

Considering that she faked being pregnant for over a year, she sure ain't all that bright.

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