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Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Spiderman is gay

It's like they're trying to hand us the superhero market:
In recent years, there’s been a growing desire from fans for the character of Spider-Man to be diversified. Into the Spider-Verse was fantastic for that, as it featured Miles Morales, the first non-Caucasian Spidey, in the lead. We still have yet to have a Spider-Man who’s part of the LGBT community, however, but current incumbent of the role, Tom Holland, has lobbied for this to happen at some point.

And it seems Sony agrees and is looking to make it a reality. We Got This Covered has been informed by our sources – the same ones who told us a She-Hulk show was coming to Disney Plus back in April, and that Taskmaster would be the villain in Black Widow – that the studio is developing a live-action Spider-Verse movie. As you’d expect, the hook would be that it would unite Holland with his predecessors, Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield. We’re also hearing that Sony is particularly keen on getting Garfield back, as they want to portray his version of the hero as bisexual and give him a boyfriend in the film.
In not-entirely-unrelated news, The Legend Chuck Dixon and I finished the first draft of the Rebel's Run script this morning.

Spider-man, Spider-man, he's as gay as a spider can....

Labels: ,

69 Comments:

Blogger Nate February 18, 2020 8:05 AM  

Jesus Christ...

Blogger Silent Draco February 18, 2020 8:14 AM  

... protect us from evil, and deliver Thy foes into our hands.

Blogger Nikolai Collushnikov February 18, 2020 8:16 AM  

"In recent years, there’s been a growing desire from fans for the character of Spider-Man to be diversified."

No there hasn't.

Blogger jkmack February 18, 2020 8:21 AM  

@1 not yet, but he is on the list to be made gay. There is already gays trying to homosexualize the bible.

Blogger Stilicho February 18, 2020 8:23 AM  

Peter Parker is a New Yorker and a photographer and lives with his aunt. He probably likes cats. His name is Peter Parker! Don't act surprised.

Blogger David Ray Milton February 18, 2020 8:25 AM  

If he is now bi-sexual that is somewhat of an improvement, because Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man was definitely a homo.

Blogger pdwalker February 18, 2020 8:29 AM  

burn it down, burn it all down. bring the cleansing fire.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd February 18, 2020 8:33 AM  

Nate wrote:Jesus Christ...
Didn't Hollywood already do a queer jesus, back in the '70s?

Blogger tublecane February 18, 2020 8:35 AM  

"Tom Holland, has lobbied for this to happen"

Perhaps because his romantic interest is an affectless, lethargic, boyish mulatta. What's the difference if you tack on some man-parts?

"particularly keen on getting Garfield back"

Why particularly him? I want to assume because no one cares about his movies so they'd be doing the least damage to the property. However, that's obviously not the chief concern, here.

Is Garfield most twinkish? Tobey Maguire is definitely getting old at this point. Or does some executive have a crush?

Blogger English Tom February 18, 2020 8:36 AM  

Those rainbow coloured spider webs will look awesome in Imax!

Blogger Gulo Gulo February 18, 2020 8:37 AM  

Please clap

Blogger Greg Hunt February 18, 2020 8:39 AM  

If his name were Peter File we'd know exactly where it was going.

Blogger Maximoushka February 18, 2020 8:52 AM  

Please watch

Blogger tuberman February 18, 2020 8:57 AM  

"burn it down, burn it all down. bring the cleansing fire."

Do they need any help? Hollywood and other media clowns are burning themselves. Awareness of Christian West along with solid art promoting that culture will destroy the inversions.

Blogger thechortling February 18, 2020 8:57 AM  

Laughable how they lie from the first sentence: fans ...want this.


Rather, the priesthood of secular holiness has revealed how reality shall be interpreted or they'll have your head, your livelihood and your family.

Blogger Vanished friend February 18, 2020 9:07 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger Dan in Georgia February 18, 2020 9:09 AM  

This doesn’t happen if Mr Sony was still alive.

Blogger OneWingedShark February 18, 2020 9:13 AM  

Nikolai Collushnikov wrote:"In recent years, there’s been a growing desire from fans for the character of Spider-Man to be diversified."
No there hasn't.

This.
I remember a phrase, from some political person, "You will be made to care." — This is essentially the same thing, as the corps say to beloved characters: "You will be made to be gay."

Blogger Oswald February 18, 2020 9:29 AM  

They are working overtime to destroy everything.

Blogger peacefulposter February 18, 2020 9:33 AM  

Gay Spiderman

Blogger Ibelin February 18, 2020 9:35 AM  

And the boyscouts filed for bankruptcy today. Go woke go broke, just like spider man will

Blogger horsewithnonick February 18, 2020 9:35 AM  

Oh, but there has - not from fans of Spider-Man, mind you, or of comics in general, but from "fans" of diversification.

Blogger tuberman February 18, 2020 9:47 AM  

"Only slightly on topic, but it's important:"

Ahh. Nope.

Blogger A trite re-white February 18, 2020 9:49 AM  

I guess it gives a whole new meaning to, "My Spidey senses are tingling"

Blogger Balkan Yankee February 18, 2020 9:55 AM  

The cultural elites who come up with this crap have seceded from the rest of us.

Blogger Cataline Sergius February 18, 2020 9:58 AM  

Interesting, if true.

Not the plotline, which is hideously stupid.

But that Sony is doing a major development on Spiderman at all.

Right after Spiderman Far From Home came out Disney is rumored to have made Sony Pictures an offer.

$5 billion for the entire Spiderverse. Which is one billion more than Mickey the Great and Terrible paid for Marvel...

Sony is supposed to have said, make it $10 billion and we’ll think about it.

I don’t blame Sony for playing hardball. Dickering with Disney is like negotiating with the Deathstar.And Spiderman is Sony’s biggest franchise...

Now most you are looking at that saying to yourselves, “hell, why doesn’t Sony just tell Disney to pound sand?”

(Because) its always a good idea to sell something for a lot money if it looks like you MIGHT LOSE IT FOR NOTHING.

You see these matters are complicated by a very interesting third party. Apple TV Plus, needs a studio film library.


And for a number of reasons Sony might be interesed in dumping Sony pictures.

Losing Siderman to Disney for the grand total of $0.00 is a real possibility Sony within the next year.

Blogger DannyDanger February 18, 2020 10:03 AM  

They are turning satire into reality. I was instantly reminded of a joke dub over of an old Spiderman cartoon; for a cheap laugh search: "60's Spider-Man Dubs: Wakanda Scam"

Blogger WillBound February 18, 2020 10:34 AM  

@4 jkmack. The First Temptation of Christ https://youtu.be/WX5gh-DF2lw

Blogger Jay Will February 18, 2020 10:41 AM  

They'll have real fun with Spider Man's onesie. Maybe a zip on the back end.

How much fun to be had, turns out The Sandman was a closet homosexual and his evil originated from a society that rejected gay people. Film closes with first comic book gay kiss as The Sandman reconciles with his past, forgives his homophobic Christian right wing abusive father, and joins with Spidey to defeat bigotry wherever it is found. Joyous!

Blogger rcocean February 18, 2020 10:52 AM  

I thought batman and robin would've come out of the closet - but looks like Spiderman beat them to it.

Blogger xevious2030 February 18, 2020 11:02 AM  

They said they were just hoaxing in 2011 about a gay Morales Spiderman. Rebel's Run, and the dropping of the uncomfortable "we were just joking" laughter, good timing.

Blogger Unknown February 18, 2020 11:06 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger 🐻Drew🐻 February 18, 2020 11:07 AM  

"In recent years, there’s been a growing desire from... (((fans)))"

Blogger Homesteader February 18, 2020 11:14 AM  

The Train is Fine.

Blogger Homesteader February 18, 2020 11:19 AM  

https://m.phys.org/news/2013-10-homosexuality-insects-spiders-case-mistaken.html

"Now Dr. Inon Scharf of Tel Aviv University's Department of Zoology and Dr. Oliver Martin of ETH Zurich have found that homosexual behavior in bugs is probably accidental in most cases. In the rush to produce offspring, bugs do not take much time to inspect their mates' gender, potentially leading to same-sex mating."

No wonder they all wear masks...

Blogger Freddy Sea February 18, 2020 11:30 AM  

I don't hold any bar for actors in what I expect them as people to be or do. When I heard that Tom Holland the actor was pushing for his character to be gay, I realized that no bar is far too high of a bar.

Visualizing his internal monolog oddly reminds me of Charlie Kirk.

Blogger Shimshon February 18, 2020 11:33 AM  

Cataline, maybe in Disney's calculus, pre-converging a franchise increases its value.

Blogger Andrew Seaton February 18, 2020 11:42 AM  

Was I the only one who didn't like Into the Spider-Verse?

Blogger Akulkis February 18, 2020 11:43 AM  

And in related news on the faggotry front

Due to THOUSANDS of lawsuits for sexual abuse at the hands of homosexual leaders, the Boy Scouts of America has declared bankruptcy.

A lot of you people don't seem to understand, once an institution is successfully infiltrated, it needs to be destroyed ASAP. The whole purpose of all of this infiltration is to destroy an institution (whatever it is) AND on top of that, make it serve some perverse purpose on top of that.

It doesn't matter if we have a BSA full of gay leaders, or no BSA -- either way, we don't have the BSA which was a cultural foundation throughout not only the USA, but on top of that, performing a perversion of the original purpose. When the BSA announced that they were VOLUNTARILY (despite having fended off the gay lawsuits) allowing gays anyways, all the straights should have just left. Better to make it a buried corpse than to allow it to persist as a gay zombie.

Blogger Servant February 18, 2020 11:45 AM  

Mad slight by sony on Garfield. This is how big studios call you a faggot.

I didn't think the movies were that bad.

Blogger Akulkis February 18, 2020 11:51 AM  

"Meaning the woke left is functionally indistinguishable from the reactionary right. They're so woke, they're willing to show it by mass-deporting Muslims."

Except that they aren't, and they aren't.

The woke left is EASILY distinguished from the reactionary right. I'm one of the latter, and I opposed EVERYTHING pushed by the woke left, and, unlike the woke left, I don't push an ideology full of naked internal contradictions (such as what you just illustrated).

The Reactionary right doesn't stand for ANYBODY being forced to bake teh ghey wedding cake, and the issue with the moslem bakery wouldn't exist because they wouldn't be here, as their beliefs are fundamentally at odds with the Constitution -- therefore, they can't be naturalized, and thus aren't even eligible for permanent resident status.

Your entire conclusion is one giant category error.

And no, the Nazis were NOT right wing, nor were they reactionary -- they were just as left-wing as Stalin -- they had the SAME GOAL of worldwide Communism. Their only beef with the (((Russian Communists))) was HOW to reach that goal, and whether allowing your country to be run into the ground and impoverished by Jews is a good thing or not.

Blogger cheddarman February 18, 2020 12:14 PM  

Pro tip on film making for Vox: Have slow motion sequence with Rebel running and her boobs bouncing around under a tight fitting shirt

Blogger Sam February 18, 2020 12:25 PM  

@41
"and the issue with the moslem bakery wouldn't exist because they wouldn't be here, as their beliefs are fundamentally at odds with the Constitution"

The issue with Muslims is they are foreigners who are impossible to live in peace with; they are a crime/terrorism/civil war issue depending on their numbers.

Their beliefs are not in conflict with the constitution; as originally intended it the bill of rights only applied to the federal government with the states free to do as they wished.

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( The Surprised Pig hadn't had any idea he tasted this good ) February 18, 2020 12:32 PM  

16. Vanished friend February 18, 2020 9:07 AM
I'm not a fan of the alt-right, but this idea is too good not to share


because, even though you're oh so superior to those Alt-Right Nazis, you ball-less wonders could never accomplish anything for yourselves.

right, Yeb?

Blogger Geir Balderson February 18, 2020 12:33 PM  

The SJWs destroy all the is good and wholesome. Sure Spidey was a flawed kid but he had a good back story and it spoke about a geeky kid rising up with interesting powers. All little kids thought they too could get an irradiated bit and swing thru cities. So, yeah, infest him with the evilness that is homosexuality. An awful lifestyle.

We have a Presidential candidate that speaks of his 'husband' and starting a family. Right, God will look favorably on that.
Thank you Vox and Chuck Dixon for chipping away at the awfulness that is the comic book heroes from depraved Hollywood.

Ok, SJWs, go ahead make Black Panther gay! See where that gets you.

Sorry for the rant but, as a kid, i loved the old heroes that SJWs have ruined.

Blogger Doktor Jeep February 18, 2020 12:39 PM  

I think at this point they are doing this just for spite.

Blogger LAZ February 18, 2020 1:01 PM  

Slightly OT- The Last Jedi was on TV last night. I'll never get that 2.5nrs back...

Blogger VD February 18, 2020 1:11 PM  

Shut up, cucky. If it's such a good idea, do it yourself. If you're not going to do it yourself, no one here wants to hear about it.

Blogger Homesteader February 18, 2020 1:17 PM  

Akulkis said:

"And no, the Nazis were NOT right wing, nor were they reactionary -- they were just as left-wing as Stalin -- they had the SAME GOAL of worldwide Communism. Their only beef with the (((Russian Communists))) was HOW to reach that goal, and whether allowing your country to be run into the ground and impoverished by Jews is a good thing or not."

Thank you.

National SOCIALISM vs. International SOCIALISM.

But Nazis are "right wing."

I realize that, in Clown World, ANYTHING nationalist is considered "Right Wing."

But, at the end of the day,

Socialist= LEFTIST.

Full Stop.

Antifa Vs. Nazi is a 100 yr. old
leftist slap fight.

Blogger Akulkis February 18, 2020 1:30 PM  

@47

"Slightly OT- The Last Jedi was on TV last night. I'll never get that 2.5nrs back."

Not once ounce of sympathy for you. You were warned by those who saw it in the theater.

"But muh Star Wars!!!"

If you can't give up something once it's been clearly pozzed, then you're too stupid to should even be allowed to vote, or handle your own financial affairs.

You remind me of the idiots (mostly white women) who continued to vote for Democrats in the 80's and even 90's "Because of FDR."

People like you are literally the problem, because YOU INSIST UPON AND KEEP FEEDING THE GODDAMNED ENEMY.

Blogger Noah B. February 18, 2020 1:50 PM  

Spiderman - bug chaser.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd February 18, 2020 1:56 PM  

The problem with trying to make a mohammedan bakery bake a queer cake is that the queers are pretty far Left. They are unlikely to be willing to buck the Narrative that way.

Since the modern Nazis are mostly Lefty Jews LARPing as anti-Semites, the Nazis aren't likely to buck the Narrative this way, either.

If you are queer, Right and out of the closet, finding a mohammedan bakery and insisting that they bake your cake would be a cool idea. Not many fit that description.

BGKB Steve, where are you?

Blogger The Pitchfork Rebel February 18, 2020 2:07 PM  

Poor Kirsten Dunst...

Blogger awildgoose February 18, 2020 2:51 PM  

Ominous Cowherd wrote:The problem with trying to make a mohammedan bakery bake a queer cake is that the queers are pretty far Left. They are unlikely to be willing to buck the Narrative that way.


That, and they know they can't push the Ummah around because:

1) The Ummah are able to fall back on a parallel system that includes cash-based businesses, the mosques, welfare fraud, etc. TPTB can't just switch off their bank accounts and credit cards.

2) The Ummah will set the entire metro area on fire before they bake the cake. TPTB know this.

These two points are useful to TPTB because in the short and medium-term they are content to use the Ummah as a cudgel against heritage American and Europe.

As for the slippery gay slope, those things aren't just happening.

There is an avalanche of elite money out there paying good money to make the slippery slope happen.

Go look at all the money behind Mayor Pete for just one example.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd February 18, 2020 3:11 PM  

awildgoose wrote:As for the slippery gay slope, those things aren't just happening.

There is an avalanche of elite money out there paying good money to make the slippery slope happen.

True enough, but if that kind of lawfare happened to land in front of a Trump judge, it might get some traction.
awildgoose wrote:2) The Ummah will set the entire metro area on fire before they bake the cake. TPTB know this.
The entire metro area is enemy territory, so no downside for the Right.

Blogger weka February 18, 2020 3:19 PM  

Please applaud the cleansing fires in Hollywood.

Blogger Akulkis February 18, 2020 4:03 PM  

LAZ, you're not only too short for this ride, you're too short for the bench seats on the carousel.

Blogger God Emperor Memes February 18, 2020 4:06 PM  

Bi-derman

Blogger God Emperor Memes February 18, 2020 4:07 PM  

Peter Puffer, more like.

Blogger rikjames.313 February 18, 2020 4:37 PM  

It is going to be funny when Chuck Tingle, PhD, purchases Justice League out of bankruptcy court and is writing slash like "Pounded in the Rear by the Literal Bat Tool", and you guys take over the entire normal superhero universe.

Blogger Glacierman February 18, 2020 5:51 PM  

Peter Zucker

Blogger LSWCHP February 18, 2020 6:07 PM  

Fans of sodomy are experiencing a growing desire. How surprising.

Blogger bodenlose Schweinerei February 18, 2020 6:19 PM  

2) The Ummah will set the entire metro area on fire before they bake the cake. TPTB know this.

There's only two drawbacks to every metro area in the US bursting into flames:

1. All that thick greasy smoke.

2. Effectively sealing them off so the rats can't get out.

Blogger Damelon Brinn February 18, 2020 8:06 PM  

"In recent years, there’s been a growing desire from fans for the character of Spider-Man to be diversified."

Yeah, just as much as Ghostbusters fans were begging for an all-ugly-girl improv remake, and Star Trek fans craved a series where a 100-year-old Picard gets cussed at by various women because Ameri-, er, the Federation, is raciss now. They're just doing it for the fans, y'all.

Blogger mrpinks February 18, 2020 11:57 PM  

The Urban Dictionary already has his character development laid out:
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rock%20spider

Blogger Charlie B. Goode February 19, 2020 1:34 AM  

@1
Only kikes and faggots take the Lord's name in vain. Which one are you?

Blogger CarpeOro February 19, 2020 7:12 AM  

Inside Tom Holland are two wolves. One is gay. One is Trans. Which one he feeds will be the new Spiderthing.

The kid does give off a weird vibe. After seeing the train wreck that was the first movie and his subsequent appearances I told my wife I was giving movies with him a hard pass.

Blogger My Shield Is Disgust February 19, 2020 5:13 PM  

“She-Hulk”

Yeah that’s what people want to see. An obese woman of color smashing things.

Blogger Laconic February 19, 2020 5:39 PM  

Couldn't they just be happy with xena??

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