Thursday, April 09, 2020

Secret King wins again!

A reader emailed me this amusing proclamation of victory by a collection of Internet gammas:
Marvelous Milestone in the History of the Sub Dedicated to the Misanthropic Midget

My Fellow Gammericans,

I remember it like it was yesterday. That day several months back, when I lead the bloodless coup to overtake r/VoxDay. After taking and holding the high ground at The Battle for Spaghetti Hill, it quickly became apparent that reinforcements would not be arriving to defend Dork Lord's honor.

On that day, this sub had a paltry 84 members. Our ranks have since swelled to 200 Gammas strong- from all across the Flat Realm. Secret Kings all and chomping at the bit to bite some Unauthorized ankles. Indeed, Kings, I promise you ankles aplenty.

Take pride in this day, GSK. Yet, take heed- the war rages on. I beseech you to not rest on the laurels, for the Unauthorized Empire still looms ahead, albeit battered and greatly bruised. We are still called to man the basements battle-ready.

However, on this day we feast on the bones of Alphas chased down with the tears of Sigmas. Celebrate, for you all have earned it. Troll hard or go home, as our Gamma forbear Marv Albert once said.

Faithfully Yours in Gammahood,

Grand Inquisitor Ipse
It's always amusing when people of whom you know absolutely nothing and care even less are convinced that their actions are of supreme interest to you. Projection, I suppose. We're a bit too busy these days to pay attention to how the anklebiters are occupying themselves these days. But, as long as it keeps them happy and they stay on the right side of the law, I suppose it's harmless enough.

It is mildly surprising that Reddit would even permit the continued existence of an r/VoxDay when even the Wikipedia page about me has less information than it did ten years ago.

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Blogger LR27 April 09, 2020 9:22 PM  

This looks so fake. It has to be someone trolling them or a loser so pathetic I cannot imagine the state of his mind.

Blogger Damelon Brinn April 09, 2020 9:28 PM  

"That day several months back, when I lead"

Oh, how embarrassing. A Very Smart Boy should know it's lead, led, led.

I took a look, and it all appears to be like this: trying so hard to claim all the insults while simultaneously trying so hard to sound above them. I couldn't make heads or tails of any of it. It could just as easily be a spoof of Gammas, if anyone cared enough to spend the time doing that.

Blogger Marcus D April 09, 2020 9:35 PM  

Acktually's "champing at the bit" not "chomping at the bit" lol.
Worst gammas ever.

Blogger Dan in Georgia April 09, 2020 9:41 PM  

I had no idea there was an r/VoxDay subreddit. This explains where some of the creepier DLive/YouTube gammas are getting their material from. Just imagine being so obsessed with someone you hate, that you create a whole community of like minded keyboard warriors? It also explains the banning of the yugely popular r/The_Donald. Don't count on being able to use your enemies' platforms for long folks! (Talking to you Cerno, St Efan)

Blogger Weak April 09, 2020 9:44 PM  

Meh, this feels like a work. It's a little too on the nose and a little too self aware.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 April 09, 2020 9:48 PM  

Only 200 followers?

It'd only 2 or 3 of the Dread Ilk to cause them fleeing into the darkness in fear only to plot their revenge from the caves those orcs dwell in.

Blogger NO GOOGLES April 09, 2020 9:53 PM  

Imagine being a literal Reddit user

Blogger Solon April 09, 2020 9:55 PM  


It wouldnt even take that. A single courier with a piece of (lightly used) bathroom tissue with two small words on it would send them into fits of apoplectic rage:

"Rent free"

But that's assuming they'd be worth the bathroom tissue.

Blogger Ransom Smith April 09, 2020 10:00 PM  

Meh, this feels like a work. It's a little too on the nose and a little too self aware.
He's guaranteed serious about it.
They think that by accepting the insults that it empowers them.
But really it just makes any sane person want to push them off a bridge.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine April 09, 2020 10:24 PM  

"the Wikipedia page about me has less information than it did ten years ago."

I wish I were blessed with information about me autonomously disappearing from places it doesn't belong. The DL is talented indeed.

"Meh, this feels like a work. It's a little too on the nose and a little too self aware."

Or just amazingly imitative with even less self awareness than is normally believable.

Blogger Servant April 09, 2020 10:28 PM  

Reddit is for fags

Blogger C April 09, 2020 10:35 PM  

There was a Vox Day subreddit?

Blogger God Emperor Memes April 09, 2020 10:41 PM  

Wait...that was written by a *dude*?

Blogger Redbeard April 09, 2020 10:48 PM  

Oh thank God, I was so worried about the secret king. It's good they finally declared victory... now there can be peace for everyone.

Blogger Silent Draco April 09, 2020 11:15 PM  

When did Loser get rep-spelled as Secret King?

Blogger Lazarus April 09, 2020 11:25 PM  

Gamma version of crushing.

Don't try this at home.

Blogger Doktor Jeep April 09, 2020 11:41 PM  

Some people just get rent free space in the heads of gammas.
Looks like the SDL got a continent.

Blogger MortemTyrannus April 09, 2020 11:46 PM  

Well, they can shove it up their collective thrones. Just signed up for unauthorized.

Blogger boogeyman April 09, 2020 11:54 PM  

Who the hell still uses Reddit? When even the NEETs of /pol/ mock you ... wait,Scalzi, is that you?

Blogger Yossarian April 10, 2020 12:19 AM  

I love the namedrop.
Namedropping is what smart people do. And as we all know the more obscure the namedrop the smarter the namedropper. Right?

Gammas are not only not as smart as they think they are, they're not even as smart as we think they are.

Blogger Tupla-J April 10, 2020 12:36 AM  

@9 Fascinating. Prior to reading your comment I thought there was absolutely no way that wasn't merely a joke on the expense of gammas. That's why I was surprised by SDL's reaction.

The delusion bubble in that case is so massive on that one it must be like living on entirely another, and entirely imagined, plane of reality.

Blogger Keith April 10, 2020 12:45 AM  

There was a thread recently where a new VD listener asked why there is so much hate for Vox (and why people put energy into it instead of just moving on) and anyone who posted thoughts remotely supportive got downvoted to hell.

Blogger Akulkis April 10, 2020 2:13 AM  

I cannot imagine what it must be like to live^H^H^H^Hendure such an utterly futile existence.

Blogger Gregory the Tall April 10, 2020 2:27 AM  

Quite a good parody

Blogger Shimshon April 10, 2020 2:39 AM  

I read this and think, this can't be real. It must be an effective fake.

But then I consider...Gammas do seem to read and discuss many, if not all, VP posts in their Gamma forums. They would certainly be dedicated enough to learn Vox's phrases, writing, and linguistic nuances to the point they would use the same to write a completely inverted narrative and mean it. Ironically, of course. For plausible deniability.

Blogger FrankNorman April 10, 2020 3:27 AM  

Is this for real? Specifically, do these people actually refer to themselves as gammas? Do they claim to be fighting Vox Day while at the same time using the classification system he invented?

Blogger Akuma April 10, 2020 4:33 AM  

Now imagine if they took this amount of effort to attack real problem people. Like Cucked Judges, Psychiatrists, Anti-Fa HQs, Women's groups, Quackademics, Woke CEOs and Board of Directors, Military Generals, and anyone that is complicit in the destruction of the USA.

Blogger Jonathon Davies April 10, 2020 4:33 AM  

I can't believe that's real. I hope it isn't.

Blogger VFM #7634 April 10, 2020 6:18 AM  

TDS, meet VDDS.

Blogger VFM #7634 April 10, 2020 6:24 AM  

And as it’s Good Friday, I’m beginning to understand how bad JDS was back in the day, given these current examples.

Blogger LAZ April 10, 2020 6:48 AM  

Wow, that whole subreddit is cringe, just like the incel and MGTOW crowds.

Blogger Brainspirit April 10, 2020 7:12 AM  

Somebody trolling? You dont say?

Blogger Brainspirit April 10, 2020 7:12 AM  


Blogger Up from the pond April 10, 2020 8:34 AM  

If a Secret King cries in his basement and there is no one around, does he still win?

Blogger Darren April 10, 2020 9:05 AM  

Oh the verbiage! Embracing the labels and whatnot, they think they are "taking it back" or something ... but they are really just proving you correct VD.

Blogger Darren April 10, 2020 9:07 AM  


[... too meta? Any other Michael Malice fans?]

Blogger Darren April 10, 2020 9:09 AM  

"Taking it back"!
Well I guess it kinda did work for Milo and his tour name...

Blogger Darren April 10, 2020 9:11 AM  

No end to his Kingdom! Because it is secret, you know. Can't disprove what is imaginary*. A real legend in his own mind.

Blogger Darren April 10, 2020 9:12 AM  

...on Reddit, you mean. If here or on Social Galactic I would live to see that abnormality of a convo.

Blogger Darren April 10, 2020 9:14 AM  

Guaranteed some of them who are only part-Gamma are absorbing LOGOS-by-osmosis and eventually join Unauthorized (and maybe remain a mole behind enema lines if only for troll opportunities let alone sabotage)

Blogger JG April 10, 2020 9:31 AM  

Ah, reddit, where the jailbait subreddit ran for years until it was too embarrassing even for the pervy lefties that run the place.

Blogger Balkan Yankee April 10, 2020 9:34 AM  

@24: "Quite a good parody."

Concur. Someone with far too much time on their hands decided to troll the gammas on the r/VoxDay subreddit.

Wouldn't surprise me if the clever guilty party were a regular commenter here on VP.

Blogger tuberman April 10, 2020 9:40 AM  

NO GOOGLES wrote:Imagine being a literal Reddit user

Yes, Who were the 'defenders' of an r/VoxDay Reddit space? No one worth while has inhabited Reddit for ages.

Revenge of the Nerds, attacks other nerds for the win. Not the Irony wished.

Blogger Section 8A April 10, 2020 9:49 AM  

"Indeed, Kings, I promise you ankles aplenty."

This quote will go down in herstory.

Blogger Damelon Brinn April 10, 2020 10:07 AM  

do these people actually refer to themselves as gammas?

They think they're de-fanging the insult by embracing it, like homosexuals use 'fag' and blacks use 'nigga'. But they don't understand when/why it works, and why it can't work for them. They also don't notice that even after years of embracing, homos and blacks still don't like to be called those things by anyone else. No matter how much they claim to like calling each other Gammas around the clubhouse, they'll never feel good about hearing it from others.

Blogger Tars Tarkas April 10, 2020 10:55 AM  

I haven't checked in on them lately. It really says a lot about them that they think having a successful family game under your belt is something to be ashamed of and mocked.
Butt-hurt is a major motivator for the gamma. Being rebuked by Owen just ripped out their butt-holes and they have dedicated their free time to sperging about VD.
Well, at least it keeps them away from children.

Blogger Phelps April 10, 2020 11:06 AM  

Reddit -- is that like

Blogger M Cephas April 10, 2020 12:57 PM  

Now every time I hear the "King" meme it's going to be associated with gammas.

Blogger Nihil Dicit April 10, 2020 2:52 PM  

No matter how much they claim to like calling each other Gammas around the clubhouse, they'll never feel good about hearing it from others.

Accepting the counsel of despair always ends up like that.

our Gamma forbear Marv Albert

Besides being yet another typo from Cap'n Clever Trousers, claiming convicted rapist and literal back-biter Albert as your daddy really says it all.

Blogger Jill in StL April 10, 2020 3:38 PM  

Why, oh why can't these secret kings actually do something to truly amazing if they want to be famous/infamous, like find out what they're really hiding from us in Antarctica.........oh wait, never mind, gammas do not have the patience to actually accomplish anything THAT meaningful. They just apparently hang out on Reddit and plot pathetic and feeble little attempts to make themselves relevant or seem important. Dear Gammas, "WHY are you ghey?"

Blogger SirHamster April 10, 2020 5:01 PM  

tuberman wrote:Yes, Who were the 'defenders' of an r/VoxDay Reddit space? No one worth while has inhabited Reddit for ages.
No one at all. It has zero value, that's why they got it in "the bloodless coup to overtake r/VoxDay."

You can make out some of the Gamma Delusion Bubble just in that sentence - he wants to make it sound impressive, so he calls it a coup. He wants it to sound effortless, so he says it was bloodless.

But a bloody coup is far more impressive - it shows ruthless and careful plotting, and success in imposing one's will in the face of dedicated opposition holding onto power for dear life.

Then you step back and realize that he's talking about a subreddit no one uses or cares about.

Bragging about that as an achievement is truly pathetic.

Blogger Balam April 10, 2020 5:03 PM  

I do not understand what they are counting as victory. Moving into a subreddit with less people than a college lecture room and 'taking over'?

Blogger VFM #7634 April 10, 2020 5:57 PM  

"Indeed, Kings, I promise you ankles aplenty."

This quote will go down in herstory.

"Herstory"... I did wonder for a bit what type of "ankles" he's offering, but then realized that Unauthorized probably doesn't have the kind I'm thinking of.

Blogger Akulkis April 10, 2020 7:22 PM  

"Then you step back and realize that he's talking about a subreddit no one uses or cares about.

Bragging about that as an achievement is truly pathetic."

Well, you know, not everybody can be the most midget-sized giant at the circus.

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