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Friday, September 25, 2020

Building nihilists

 Spacebunny points out the long-term consequences for the trophies-for-everyone generation:

The rarely discussed long term effect of “a trophy for everyone” is how this has destroyed more than one generation’s mental toughness and drive to succeed. If, at a very young age and then for years, you are told your successes are meaningless and not worthy of being noted or acknowledged, what does that do to your ability to compete successfully in any area in the future?

No wonder so many of them are weak, afraid of failure, and desperate for affirmation. The purposeful detachment of effort from accomplishment has proven to be insidious and psychologically devastating.

Labels:

97 Comments:

Blogger Sargent.matrim September 25, 2020 8:06 AM  

Absolutely correct!

I dont understand the fear of failure. Failure is inherently a part of being human, fallen, and needing to grow. Shielding kids from that is particularly insidious form of evil.

Blogger Michael Moody September 25, 2020 8:11 AM  

In converting to Eastern Orthodox Christianity I’m seeing that this is as true of the spiritual life as it is material life. What’s described above is a Sola Fide of self. All I have to do is believe in myself and I am a winner! No effort needed. Orthodox deny Sola Fide as they have known for thousands of years that you cannot divorce human effort from spiritual or material accomplishment. Without faith it’s impossible to please God. Faith makes pleasing God *possible* as belief in ones self makes accomplishments possible. Effort is necessary for accomplishment.

Blogger TaurianVita September 25, 2020 8:13 AM  

And let's not forget the value of coping with losing/defeat. Giving everyone a trophy devalues ALL of the lessons of competition. Coming in 2nd is more painful then not being in the running, but there is a powerful lesson learned.

Blogger ScottC September 25, 2020 8:13 AM  

Where is this happening, and for how long has it been happening? When I was in school back in the 90s/00s, merit was given to students who achieved something of value. Not everyone got equal praise. Maybe in very elementary grades but not as students get older.

Blogger Yossarian September 25, 2020 8:13 AM  

Our participation trophies will blot out the Sun !

Blogger Tom September 25, 2020 8:24 AM  

When everyone's a winner... then noone is!

Blogger Troy Lee Messer September 25, 2020 8:26 AM  

what we need is 1980s style boot camp. Ive lived with the lessons I learned there all my life. I dont remember what I was screwing up but I remember my 6 ft something, mega huge Drill Seargent bending over poking his Round Brown into my head. His thick neck was bulging with blood veins.

"Private, I'm giving you one more chance to unfuck yourself. If you fuck up again, Im going to rip your God damn head off and skull fuck you! Do you want me to skull fuck you, Private?"

"No, Drill Seargent"

[enunciaring each word with a poke of the round brown] Do, you, want, me, to, skull, fuck, you."

"no drill seargent"

"drop, and give me 20"

I was terrified. I thought this man physically could and was legally authorized to remove my head from my body and have intercourse with it.

Thank you Drill Seargents for making me a man.

Blogger Maniac September 25, 2020 8:31 AM  

"You were the last winner!"

Fuck outta here.

Blogger Dark Herald September 25, 2020 8:34 AM  

That explains something.

I'd never understood the why Millennials and Zoomers are so rabid about unlocking achievements in video games.

I'd chalked it up as a generational thing, never really understanding that these were some of the few actual competitive achievements available to them.

Blogger Diogenes September 25, 2020 8:35 AM  

Given how long that kind of crap has been building and who's been behind it I assume the destruction and mental debilitation is deliberate and intentional.

Blogger SonyAD September 25, 2020 8:39 AM  

For others, achievement has been detached from effort.

Blogger thechortling September 25, 2020 8:49 AM  

not to get too repetitive but when foreskins are reintroduced as trophies, that should help with some of this.

Blogger Bearbrained Schemer September 25, 2020 8:53 AM  

This plague came about as I was coming up. In my early days of sports, you only got trophies for playoffs and tournament wins. In 1995 my baseball team won our division tournament, and that trophy remains my favorite. Shortly after that, we all got trophies just for playing in the league. They didn't mean anything to us at that point and usually went in the trash.

I'm glad I got to see what earning it was about before the 'participation awards' infected my area.

I'm in that odd group of early millinials who know what life was like before widely available internet and cell phones. At least some of us escaped with our wits intact.

Blogger Newscaper312 September 25, 2020 8:57 AM  

One year when our son would age out into the next age bracket in YMCA soccer and we thought he really wasnt ready, we pulled him out and gave the "Upward" program a try, which bills itself as a Christian sports league focused on sportsmanship and fun.
Turned out to be hopelessly gay. We really liked some features, particularly the uniform tryouts so they could assemble teams that had similar ranges of skill levels -- no teams full of ringers to dominate everyone else, no teams destined to lose every game. This was maybe 4th grade.
Practices and games began with a prayer.

But rather than simply not being bloodthirsty, they did looney stuff like not keep an official score, so no declared winner of a game. No end of season acknowledgment of the best team. The kids generally knew it was BS. We did not go back the next year. Since they didnt push the kids to play hard, they did not improve thru the season.
Hopelessly stupid.

You can get reasonably competitive w younger kids while not going so hard that they stress out,
But this was Caviezels candy-ass Christians in ordinary life.

Blogger Brett baker September 25, 2020 8:58 AM  

"Us Boomers did it for the kids".

Blogger Skyler the Weird September 25, 2020 8:59 AM  

The Participation Trophy Generation. Incapable of Dealing with any setback or disappointment. Mom and Dad(if Dad was around) never said the N Word (NO)

Blogger RedSauceRob September 25, 2020 9:16 AM  

We can thank Nathaniel Branden for this nonsense. And we can thank Ayn Rand for Nathaniel Branden.

Blogger Johnny September 25, 2020 9:18 AM  

Somebody, I think it was Jerry Falwell the preacher, said that you should disapprove of the sin but not the sinner. In secular terms when dealing with children it comes out as disapprove of the bad behavior but not the child. I wonder, is this orthodox thinking now? Is it what they advice parents when raising children? I bring it up because I regard it as unworkable. Lacking disapproval of the person there is no sin regardless of what else might be said.

Blogger [Redacted] September 25, 2020 9:29 AM  

Many are born to broken families and compromised churches, an education system that indoctrinates, a financial system designed to create debt slaves, and the knowledge core of humanity being mostly pornography. Even if you are driven, for those without proper mentors and guidance, many lack self-discipline, are resigned to trial-and-error with disproportionate amounts of failure, and skeptical of affirmation from any authority due to how predatory and corrupt it is. Participation awards is just another variable here, but I think it is less of an end in itself, and more of a last ditch effort to get kids invested in the system.

Blogger DannyDanger September 25, 2020 9:34 AM  

In a way, the "trophies for everyone" also paves a foundation for "ends justify the means".

Youth: It doesn't matter that we did nothing to earn it, ours is just like theirs.
Adults: It doesn't matter if we lie, cheat, steal to earn it; ours is just like theirs.

Some good counter-parenting to this is to always praise the effort along with the achievement, sometimes even more-so. "I don't care if you try and fail, what is important is that you try and try your best." That and "always tell the truth" is a great one-two punch.

Blogger Matamoros September 25, 2020 9:35 AM  

I have a large family and all our kids played sports. I absolutely refused to buy "participation trophies" for this very reason. They don't mean anything.

If one got MVP, Best Player, or some such, I bought the trophy. Otherwise, as I told them, "I was there" trophies don't mean anything, and don't benefit anyone except the trophy shop.

Blogger Doktor Jeep September 25, 2020 9:37 AM  

"...what does that do to your ability to compete successfully in any area in the future?"

Therein lies the rub. What does competing successfully mean to someone who got his career outsourced one or more times?
Possibly the schools were indeed preparing kids for the future that was planned for them.
Besides how do you prevent angry mobs with torches and pitchforks when you rob their future? Simple. Make them think they never had one on the first place. Then if one does occasionally experience reflection and gets mad, they are told that it was their decision to play video games all of the time.
Globopedo wargames and tabletops everything down to every last cause and desired effect.

Blogger Balkan Yankee September 25, 2020 9:39 AM  

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoB8ZMvr9tM

Blogger Jake September 25, 2020 9:43 AM  

Absolutely, that philosophy started really hitting its stride when I was involved in youth sports. It took a ton away from the experiance. I find it incessantly annoying that boomers mock us for the participation trophies yet they were the ones who gave them to us. Its not an excuse, but my generation was not set up for success.

Blogger Paradise Lost September 25, 2020 9:50 AM  

A lot of this seem to point to a desire to put the brakes on anything that has the west pulling away from the rest of the world.
Calling people "Karen" for demanding service quality that was once societal norms. Commercials telling old men to stop volunteering to help other folks in stores or professions.
Lowering expectations to assure mediocrity.

Blogger Mumbe September 25, 2020 9:56 AM  

The brain requires all young things struggle early in life for proper brain development. When delicate snowflakes cry with mental anguish it is real pain because helicopter parents never allowed them to experience any discomfort whatsoever.
This brain damage is irrevocable.

Blogger pyrrhus September 25, 2020 10:09 AM  

In my experience as a coach and chess teacher, most kids know the difference between participation trophies, which they throw away, and trophies they have earned...One mother told me her son had thrown away everything except his chess trophies earned in tournaments "because those meant something."

Blogger RedJack September 25, 2020 10:14 AM  

That is a great point. I never really pay attention to game achievements. I play the story. But I know some who brag about it

Blogger RedJack September 25, 2020 10:18 AM  

Bit of a mismatch, as you kust described a form of Lutheran Sola Fide.
Not the cheap grace kind that is so popular in evangelical circles

Blogger KeaponLaffin September 25, 2020 10:20 AM  

I consider myself an Omega. Kinda a loner who did well in highschool. I never said it but thought it... teacher lady, you don't have to tell me I aced the test I know I did before I walked into the room.

Later in life I got the experience of... I actually did a good job? I was positive I had screwed it up.

It's that middle ground that's dangerous.

I work fast food with children. Our general manager is a gamma. Every single youngster wants a GM that will occasionally kick them in the behind and tell them when they're screwing up. They have actually spoken those words.

One kid particularly loves me because I repeatedly correct him in front of everyone. Embarrassing him in front of his peers, but he takes it like a man.

I will admit to still having some gamma but I don't do it out of spite, envy or so I can gain status over a child. No, it's because being told that you suck occasionally makes you work harder to achieve.

Kid I rag on is barely 18 and being trained for manager.

Kids ain't dumb. They know when you're blowing smoke up their skirt.
They want a genuine compliment. They want genuine... you screwed up.

Gives me hope that not one of them believes the news. KeaponLaffin like me. News? Hehe it's funny that you think that garbage is true!
Yes, I've heard 18 year olds laff at the news😉

Blogger Troy Lee Messer September 25, 2020 10:27 AM  

...Many are born to broken families and compromised churches, an education system that indoctrinates, a financial system designed to create debt slaves,...

I get that. I drank the Kool-aid, too. I lost everything in 2008. But the bottom line is,

"The maximum effective range of an excuse is zero"

/A Drill Seargent

Blogger Damelon Brinn September 25, 2020 10:54 AM  

Where is this happening, and for how long has it been happening?

Like many bad things it started in the 90s, but it took a while to spread. From what I recall, it started when some kids' soccer leagues stopped keeping score. Scores imply that some teams and players are better than others, and we're just here to compete and have fun, man. That was rightly ridiculed and the kids kept score anyway, so instead of having no winners, they shifted to having all winners. Gradually it spread to all sorts of areas.

Heck, in my bar pool league, all teams now make the tournament at the end of the year. It used to only be the winners from each season. That's probably more about money, but I'll bet there were people who complained about being "left out" when their team didn't make it. The county fair in my day gave out 3 ribbons, now they give 5. The devaluing of excellence is everywhere.

Blogger kurt9 September 25, 2020 11:03 AM  

I'm re-reading "How Not to be a Millennial". I highly recommend this book as it explains everything, literally everything that is wrong with our society today.

Blogger Crunchy Cachalot September 25, 2020 11:04 AM  

@25 - It has a lot to do with why SJWs and their ilk loathe sports and competition in general: it requires one to acknowledge that no matter how hard they try, some people just can't cut it.

Blogger Uncle John's Band September 25, 2020 11:06 AM  

It's economics. If it's free, it's worthless.

And since trophies need value to incentivize...

Blogger Taignobias September 25, 2020 11:25 AM  

Spacebunny has always had a knack of putting clear words to the incomplete thoughts in my brain.

I am of the "participation trophy generation", and it's worth noting that we all HATED them. The losers felt mocked, and the winners felt cheated. As commenters here have noted, we turned to places no one could taint our victories - mostly those video games where skill and determination were rewarded - but it crippled our natural drives.

It's a major contributor to the exponential growth of betas and gammas.

Blogger Matthew Baker September 25, 2020 11:39 AM  

A youth club soccer team I played on lost every game of a season, still handed out trophies to all at the end by our coach. Compared to a later team where every moment we were interacting as a team had some sort of competitive edge to it with clear and accountable high stakes, and we won the state championship.

Blogger wreckage September 25, 2020 11:51 AM  

I think the other thing is that they're under stress from a very young age. Fatherless families, absent parents, enforced public schooling, and the culture of enviro-doom wire anxiety into the neural net. And then the loss of meaningful achievement reinforces the idea that escape is impossible.

Blogger thalios September 25, 2020 11:56 AM  

When my kids were young, I didn't understand what the beast system was like I do today, but I knew it was wrong and I fought back (on this and other fronts). I was able to instill in my children the values of competition, winning, losing, and learning from ones failures in order to overcome. I was fortunate to see through that nonsense even though I may not have known why.

I wish many of the things I know now weren't kept from me or that I was more willing to challenge the narratives like I do today. I could have been a much better father and husband.

Blogger NoobishTitan September 25, 2020 12:00 PM  

Born in '99 here. In any school competition everyone was given a ribbon. Surely you've heard of "participant" ribbons?

Blogger Canadian Warlord September 25, 2020 12:05 PM  

This is also about the consequences of bad decisions. If you're protected from bad ideas, then you'll keep making bad decisions. Like immigration.

Blogger dangerdog September 25, 2020 12:11 PM  

So true. The damage this has done is immeasurable, setting back people's mental development by years.

Blogger Nym Coy September 25, 2020 12:19 PM  

What confuses these kids the most is when they DO put in a lot of effort, but that effort isn't recognized because they didn't win. They were taught effort alone was enough to succeed, not results. It's not that they expect something for nothing. It's that they expect something for something regardless of effectiveness. Work harder, not smarter.

Blogger Azimus September 25, 2020 12:23 PM  

SB: "what does that do to your ability to compete successfully in any area in the future?"

Moreover, do they even understand what success means? So many young people are listless participants in the real world, while they celebrate some phony online accomplishment like a gaming record, or having the most tripadvisor points, or facebook friends, etc. etc.

My step brother (a GenX traiblazer for the millenial model) spent all of his 20's and most of his 30's being an online game master. In all this time, the best years of his life, he never learned a single skill and to be truthful regressed in a lot of areas. He couldn't keep a job, even a PT job. He lived w/his dad, who did nothing to really help him. His real life was a success-free desert of wasted time, but by jingo he was the most dominant sniper ever in Unreal Tournament or Day of Defeat or whatever other new games have come out since then.

Not saying games are bad. But they have acted as an energy-sink for real accomplishment in a lot of young men's lives.

Blogger Jay Alan Ungart September 25, 2020 12:31 PM  

Everyday I work on mental toughness. I suspect I was the first generation for this. I don't remember trophies for everyone, but maybe, just maybe, we were softened.

Blogger Scott September 25, 2020 12:37 PM  

As a wise man once told me, they may give medals for second and third place in the Olympics, but you don't often get rewarded for finishing second, much less third, in the Game of Life.

Blogger [Redacted] September 25, 2020 12:37 PM  

Troy Lee Messer, you are correct. It wasn't my intent to make an excuse, but I can see how you though that. Thank you.

Blogger OneWingedShark September 25, 2020 1:08 PM  

Taignobias wrote:The losers felt mocked, and the winners felt cheated.
And they were both right, but more than that they were both right for each other: the winners were being mocked for actually trying (and doing well), and the losers were cheated of incentive to do better.

Azimus wrote:SB: "what does that do to your ability to compete successfully in any area in the future?"

Moreover, do they even understand what success means? So many young people are listless participants in the real world, while they celebrate some phony online accomplishment like a gaming record, or having the most tripadvisor points, or facebook friends, etc. etc.

For a large part of the Millennials, there is no winning.
Take a look at their careers & association with the economy: Sep-11, 2008, 2020 — Highschool, university-grad/early-career, senior-level — each of these were major disruptions, each at a point where promotions should be in store instead bring layoffs & firings.
Take a look at the familial connection, being the children of Boomers you can get a huge number of connections by simply observing that: if you argue passionately, you're not rational and your argument can be discarded; if you argue dispassionately, you obviously don't have the emotional commitment that means it's important, and so your argument can be discarded. — Millennials KNOW this no win situation.

Sargent.matrim wrote:I dont understand the fear of failure. Failure is inherently a part of being human, fallen, and needing to grow. Shielding kids from that is particularly insidious form of evil.
This is one part of Trump's rhetoric that rubs me the wrong way: the 'winner'/'loser' framed in such a way as to almost trivialize those that have to overcome, having gone through loss after loss, in order to win. (Admittedly, I may be reading into that the no-win from above.)

Nym Coy wrote:What confuses these kids the most is when they DO put in a lot of effort, but that effort isn't recognized because they didn't win. They were taught effort alone was enough to succeed, not results. It's not that they expect something for nothing. It's that they expect something for something regardless of effectiveness. Work harder, not smarter.
This is very true.
There have been projects where I put in tons of effort, and yet the thing I get praised over is some shitty little script that took 15 minutes, not the big project I put days and days into — it's honestly so confusing.

Blogger Jose Miguel September 25, 2020 1:19 PM  

Failed at business, worked hard, learned a lot but still failed. Onto getting self-employment to work!

Blogger Jack Morrow September 25, 2020 1:22 PM  

The renowned American sage Archie Bunker wondered what the point was of a man working all his life to get ahead if he was only going to end up equal.

The Christian sports league that didn't keep score has apparently forgotten I Corinthians 9:24 .

Blogger Emil September 25, 2020 1:25 PM  

I think it's not completely irrevocable.

The issue lies with the default orientation one has towards conflict and pain. As one of these snowflake millennials, I've made improvements, but it happens year by year. It's difficult to improve in anything period when you have this fear and entitlement, let alone improve in the act of improving itself.

Blogger Azimus September 25, 2020 2:16 PM  

OneWingedShark "For a large part of the Millennials, there is no winning"

Well, I don't know what you mean by "winning." If you mean a $100k salary and a 35hr workweek pushing paper, yeah that shipped has sailed with the exception of gov jobs. But if you mean success is impossible for millenials then we disagree completely, if you define success as a good living and a rewarding career. The trades, manufacturing are dying for people. You won't get paid to do Tiktok dancing, that is true, but in my plant you get $20/hr for pretty easy work, plus all the OT you could want at 1.5 time and double time. They just this week implemented an OT bonus where employees get and extra $200 weekly bonus just for working one day on the weekend, $65 for an extra half-shift on a weekday. Our floor guys are making north of $50k with nothing but a hs diploma, with good benefits. Plus the company pays 50% of college tuition (in a town where the average house costs $150k). Do that age 18-22 while you're doing apprenticeship classes, then work FT as a journeyman 10-15yrs, get you master cert, work for somebody as a master for 5yrs, hang your own shingle and retire at 55-60 a millionaire. There are many other tracks like this. You just have to work for it. That was part of my original point - kids go for fake success because its easy. Real success is hard - and comes with risk. The fake success satisfies the "ambition bug" and leaves nothing for the real world. I graduated into the 2001-2004 recession with an engineering degree and took a job making less than factory workers back home AND it was in Chicago, not exactly a cheap place. We had some hard years. Now I'm doing great - plant manager for a $100MM operation, w/400 people working here. Success is achievable for millenials. They just have want it, and many do not. Or rather, many want it dropped in their lap, or they're not interested.

Blogger Uncle John's Band September 25, 2020 3:02 PM  

School is the beast system vestibule. And employment and advancement in the globalist pedocracy has nothing to do with competitive excellence.

The curious thing isn't that individual competence is being disincentivized. It's that it was ever otherwise.

Blogger RadixMalorum September 25, 2020 3:26 PM  

Tom wrote:When everyone's a winner... then noone is!

When everyone's a winner the entrenched elites are the real winners.

It's a way the Prometheans maintain their power through the generations because their descendants are far less capable than the originals. By undermining institutions of meritocracy they prevent institutional challenges to their bloodlines' continued domination.

Blogger R Devere September 25, 2020 3:32 PM  

Self-esteem (external; dependent on others telling you how wonderful you are)
versus

Self-respect (internal; earned by doing/achieving something worthy of respect by others)

Blogger Theodoric September 25, 2020 3:48 PM  

There are some great points being made here. I’ll just add that anyone who has spent time in martial arts knows this to be true as well.

Those who have the ability to discern quality from garbage quickly figure out what is legit and what is a money grabbling operation.

An uninformed or absent parent likely will not know the difference. As long as someone is babysitting their kids, and they feel they can offload the responsibility, they don’t question what is going on, and they usually don’t care at the end of the day.

No amount of participation trophies/belts will be enough to keep the lie going when you get your ass served handidly to you by a more accomplished and skillful student or master for that matter.

The idea that just showing up with your velcro shoes makes you a winner does appear to come from the top, and it is destructive, but like Big Bear says all the time, “it’s enforced from the ground up”. You guys get it.

Blogger Dole September 25, 2020 3:53 PM  

Reminder: Single motherhood is worse than cancer.

And yes, the single mothers and cucked men also give everybody a trophy, and believe people can make the worst decisions possible and still come on top. Of course, the boomers being the kings of bad advice.

Blogger Zeroh Tollrants September 25, 2020 4:02 PM  

Bullshit.

Blogger Zeroh Tollrants September 25, 2020 4:16 PM  

It's why fat or ugly women demand to be thought of as beautiful now, without objective standards of beauty.
It's why unaccomplished people demand to be treated as equal to those who make real accomplishments.
It's why black people are allowed to roam around saying that they built this country, and no one is allowed to tell them that chopping cotton and tobacco makes them obsolete farm equipment, replyaced by actually valuable modern farm equipment.
Every young person you meet these days has the most smug, unearned self-confidence, the world has ever seen. Its truly shocking that such an inept, unimpressive, & unaccomplished generation would ever feel so entitled & self-important.

Blogger scimitar September 25, 2020 4:47 PM  

This is one of the root , foundational problems with the "these kids these days"...That's why the asians are gonna rings around us in the not too distant future. The Chinese are hardcore and they raise their kids to be ruthless winning machines. Getting an "A" in class is something expected, no gold stars as their attitude is "what other grade is there" ?? Learning to live with failure is as important as winning too.

Blogger map September 25, 2020 5:04 PM  

Just remember, the participation trophy was not the millenials' idea. This trashing of current generations is nothing new. I remember reading an article in 1994 that read something like this: "Just imagine a bunch of young people sitting in a hot tub complaining about how hard they have it."

However you may feel about millenials, the reality is that they have it very tough, and probably tougher than every previous generation. This is why they are so angry. They've been missing many of the same milestones of their parents and that is certainly a crisis.

Blogger Oswald September 25, 2020 5:26 PM  

This might explain why we can't win or at least finish a war!

Blogger DroppingBear September 25, 2020 6:03 PM  

The bunny is correct.

Blogger Uncle Maffoo September 25, 2020 6:23 PM  

Two words: grade inflation.

Blogger Newscaper312 September 25, 2020 6:50 PM  

Fortunately you're half wrong, at least.
In mainland China the upper middle classes who *here* would be the so-called Tiger Mom's, instead are dealing with a generation or two if spoiled brats created by the One Child policy in conjunction w rising prosperity. You had one child w six people dotingbin them: two parents plus four grandparents.
No,this is not something I read about on the internet, rather heard about it a couple years ago from a Chinese woman I worked with. They called the spoiled kids Little Emperors.

Blogger Hammerli 280 September 25, 2020 6:58 PM  

Zeroh Tollrants wrote:It's why black people are allowed to roam around saying that they built this country, and no one is allowed to tell them that chopping cotton and tobacco makes them obsolete farm equipment, replaced by actually valuable modern farm equipment.
ROTFLMAO at that one! Like most great humor, it's rooted in truth. Remember, Tractor and Combine Lives Matter! :-)

Blogger Hammerli 280 September 25, 2020 7:02 PM  

On a more serious note, I've observed for the last thirty years that many people are terrified of any sort of competition. The idea of pitting their skills against someone else's in ANY type of competition has them running in fear.

Which I don't understand...but I was raised by one competitive shooter, among other competitors. To me, it's a challenge. Perform well, and you win locally. Perform really well, and you can medal at the national level, maybe get the invite to the Great Big Dance of a World Championship.

And if you have a good day there...

Blogger SacrificialLamb September 25, 2020 7:06 PM  

We didn't have participation trophies when I was a kid. I remember confessing once to my dad, that my attitude in sports as a kid was "failure equals death". He was shocked, but he understood....and I think he approved. I was very competitive, and so was he....now that I think about it.

@59. I disagree with you. That's not real self-confidence. I've seen young people out in the real world, and Internet behavior is vastly different from real life behavior. That Internet "self-confidence" is largely a front. It's FAKE.

What you're describing is a sense of UNEARNED ENTITLEMENT that many young people only dare to articulate on the Internet, or only dare to articulate when they feel "safe"....such as when they're being sponsored by some Promethean organization. But that's only a SURROGATE for true self-confidence.

Take away the Internet for a month or two, and what you're describing vanishes like a fart in the breeze.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd September 25, 2020 7:06 PM  

@64, who's the parents who demanded As for every snowflake, and who's the teachers who delivered?

Generous grading makes for excellent instructor evaluation scores. Don't ask the students' opinions on the instructor if you want strict grading.

Blogger Avalanche September 25, 2020 7:06 PM  

@60 "Getting an "A" in class is something expected,"

And was discussed here recently, cheating is ALSO expected so you can get that A whether or not you actually know or do anything worthwhile.

Blogger damaris.tighe September 25, 2020 7:36 PM  

I play an online girls game with my niece which features racing. Before the race starts there's always a few girls who declare the formula "we are all winners" like Dumbo holding fast to his magic feather. I have asked them why they say this and the answer I get is they lie to "be kind". Most of the good racers and older girls have privately abandoned the kindly lie but it certainly gets taught as holy writ by kindly primary school teachers.

Blogger map September 25, 2020 7:36 PM  

The problem is not "participation trophies" or a lack of achievements. The problem is that parents do not help their children with issues and problems that crop up in the real world. For many gen x, millenials and zoomers, their parents expected them to deal with the world all by themselves with absolutely no help, up to and including simply letting the world "teach lessons."

All the trophies from various activities is not the issue. The purpose of involving your kids in any program is to provide a simulation that allows you, the parent, to evaluate your child's strengths and weaknesses and direct them into paths that will create the greatest level of success: producing quality children with a quality mate and the wherewithal to protect that family from the world.

You can play drill sergeant all you want, but when the war comes, every element of the military is there to support an individual soldier on the battlefield to win. The battlefield is not used to teach the lessons of bootcamp.

Too many parents fail to understand that. If you want grandchildren, then, in the real world, you always help your kids. You always try to give them a leg up. Never let anyone tell you that you are "spoiling" them by providing resources needed to compete in the world.

Blogger map September 25, 2020 7:40 PM  

Avalanche wrote:@60 "Getting an "A" in class is something expected,"

And was discussed here recently, cheating is ALSO expected so you can get that A whether or not you actually know or do anything worthwhile.


Yeah, that's the thing...if winning is the only thing, then good sportsmanship is not necessary.

Blogger Chill Penguin September 25, 2020 7:46 PM  

Fear of failure is a result of the culture of consensual sex. historically a man who failed and got laughed at would return home to his wife, now everyone's playing Ender's Game, not only do I have to win, I have to win big and everyone else has to lose. Meanwhile, if you open your mouth and say a hatespeech you lose everything in an instant.
@22 there never was a plan. All those cute girls they graduated from college with education degrees to become school teachers wanted to play with the children and teach them to read and a bunch of random facts about the world, and also impose slogans like in the 90's it was safety first.
At the top, Clinton and Blair said that in the global village we were going to have a service-sector economy, meaning a few lucky, connected, and skillful men get good jobs, and the rest are minimum wage part-timers. So if you don't win Ender's Game style, and you don't have Boomers who will let you have your girlfriend over, you don't have access to the means of reproduction, of course, Millennials were all taught safety first.
Also consider Gatto's six lessons: stay in class where you belong * nothing is worth finishing * you will do what you are told * wait to be told what to do * you will be told how good you are * you are being watched.
We all remember that moment during the teachers' strike when Skinner said "Oh, come on, Edna, we both know these children have no future!".
If I was a bit less lucky I wouldn't have a wife and a baby, the other men my age at work who are better at the job than me don't have them and they can be lost, the devil gives elementary school guidance counselors bonuses for each kid they gaslight into gender nonsense.

Blogger Akulkis September 25, 2020 7:47 PM  

"Generous grading makes for excellent instructor evaluation scores. Don't ask the students' opinions on the instructor if you want strict grading."

My university was doing that in the 1980's. Some instructors without tenure were let go due to being ill-prepared, or not being demanding enough.

It depends on the generation. My Gen-X peers and I wanted rigorous course work. After all, we were paying good, hard cash for those courses and wanted as much out of them as we could get.

Some of my engineering projects during my undergrad days were more difficult than anything I have done since working in both the private sector and in the military.

Blogger Pathfinderlight September 25, 2020 8:21 PM  

Christianity teaches people to forgive others who repent for their sins. There is no obligation to forgive someone who persists in acting sinfully.

This is something that's lost on Churchians. Authentic Christianity never held the view that all people can be redeemed. Jesus died for the sins of the world, but that redemption doesn't apply to you if you are wicked enough to keep doing evil to people.

In Catholic terms, during confession priests have the power to retain sins as well as release them.

Blogger flyingtiger September 25, 2020 8:32 PM  

As a bench warmer on a championship grad school football team, I learned much. I learn lifelong lessons on preparation, teamwork, and persistence. Never give up! I always felt that I would not have learned anything if I was a starter on a last place team.
If you hate participation medals, blame the Royal Navy.They awarded them because they could not figure out who to honor for valor.

Blogger Ransom Smith September 25, 2020 9:44 PM  

There is no obligation to forgive someone who persists in acting sinfully.
There most certainly is an obligation about this.
Matthew 18 "21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. "

God will judge them for their sins when their day of judgement comes, but until that time forgiveness for sins is perpetual.

Blogger VFM #7634 September 25, 2020 11:07 PM  

God will judge them for their sins when their day of judgement comes, but until that time forgiveness for sins is perpetual.

Maybe the person has a natural inclination toward that particular sin, such as drunkenness or lust. In which case God will judge based upon how he handled his natural inclinations.

Not recognizing how all this works this might be why blacks, for example, are afraid to vote for Trump.

Blogger Homesteader September 25, 2020 11:54 PM  

My sons got unearned trophies, once.

I asked, "Are you keeping those?"

"Nah", they said, as they tossed them in the trash.

Even kids know when they're being patronized.

Fuck feelings.

Blogger SamTangHapning September 26, 2020 12:26 AM  

An unseaworthy ship of fools carried placid passengers – including a second class of disgruntled denizens who dwelt beneath its decks - toward the end of the world; they sailed the river of Progress, frolicked in the fountain of diversity, drank from the well of rights, and swam in the sea of equality as invisible microbes of toxic ideology seeped into their hearts and minds. The entitled populous, heirs to fortune and prisoners to indulgence, had come to accept the necessities of life as gifts placed before their feet by anonymous benefactors, believing that reward was no longer bound to effort, while the best efforts of honest men were ignored in favour of quotas, tokens, and tribal loyalty. Proudly contemptuous of the ignoble savages responsible for the prosperity they took for granted, these happy tenants lived on borrowed time and were pleased to play their part in an inexorable pattern of history: the final act of betrayal. They drank deeply from cups filled with the sacrifices of others and did the deeds demanded by a fate which determines that the hubristic children of affluence will commit their dwindling descendants to be consumed in their wake.
Life was good.
"Guardians"

Blogger Saint September 26, 2020 3:44 AM  

Being the Captain of my high school football team, winning mvp awards, and having beautiful girls throw themselves at me didn't stop me from going full Omega after high school.

With respect to Vox, there is something wrong with me that showering every day and forcing myself to develop into a Delta hasn't fixed. Not that it matters.

Blogger flyingtiger September 26, 2020 9:18 AM  

Clarification. The Royal Navy awarded campaign medals after the Glorious First of June Battle. They could not determine who was more Valorous than others.

Blogger Akulkis September 26, 2020 10:21 AM  

And along with unlocking achievements, likewise, for the less capable, the obsession with both obtaining and sharing with other mid-wits, software debug-values, AKA "cheat codes" so that they can claim to have played the game all the way through, and finished it, too.

Blogger Akulkis September 26, 2020 10:22 AM  

"I assume the destruction and mental debilitation is deliberate and intentional."

Two words: Cheat codes.

See my prior comment.

Blogger Akulkis September 26, 2020 10:58 AM  

"There have been projects where I put in tons of effort, and yet the thing I get praised over is some shitty little script that took 15 minutes, not the big project I put days and days into — it's honestly so confusing."

Because very few people actually understand the internals of software and programming, most people are easily impressed by the simple, and paradoxically, unimpressed by monumental levels of software development.(*)

The only valid praise on this front will come from other programmers.

(*) Caveate: some people recognize a short script as being a big deal FOR them because they never bothered to learn even beginner-level scripting techniques and are completely unaware of not just the vast array of text-processing commands on Unix/Linux, but also all of the various command-line flags and arguments available -- to them, the fact that a 15-line script does what it does, is sometimes magical to them, especially any script which uses tr(1), sed(1) or awk(1). [then there is Perl, the APL of *nix. Very capable, but also a "write-only" language. Trying to debug someoelse's Perl code is an exercise in masochism, and half the time with your own Perl code, too.

Blogger Akulkis September 26, 2020 11:41 AM  

Nearly every war ending in total occupation of the opposing force's land continues on after the enemy government formally surrenders, yet the people continue fighting for years. Post-WW2 Japan was unique because Emperor Hirohito was so revered and ordered the people to give full cooperation to the allied occupation troops. POST-WW2 Germany was like Iraq for years, with the "Werewolf" resistance units fighting on until 1948, which ended ONLY because the Soviet Red Army blockaded the road to Berlin that winter, and nearly every base in West Germany was involved with the supply of food and coal, not merely for the occupation troops, but the Germans living in Berlin, too. This action discredited any further actions against allied occupiers, as any such actions would jeopardize the lives and health of Berliners. If it had not been for that, Germany would have dragged on for much longer, like Iraq, Afghanistan, or our own "Indian Wars" which went on for about 300 years, only
ending after more than 100 years after the Constitution was ratified.

Blogger OneWingedShark September 26, 2020 12:06 PM  

Azimus wrote:OneWingedShark "For a large part of the Millennials, there is no winning"

Well, I don't know what you mean by "winning." If you mean a $100k salary and a 35hr workweek pushing paper, yeah that shipped has sailed with the exception of gov jobs. But if you mean success is impossible for millenials then we disagree completely, if you define success as a good living and a rewarding career. The trades, manufacturing are dying for people. You won't get paid to do Tiktok dancing, that is true, but in my plant you get $20/hr for pretty easy work, plus all the OT you could want at 1.5 time and double time. They just this week implemented an OT bonus where employees get and extra $200 weekly bonus just for working one day on the weekend, $65 for an extra half-shift on a weekday. Our floor guys are making north of $50k with nothing but a hs diploma, with good benefits. Plus the company pays 50% of college tuition (in a town where the average house costs $150k). Do that age 18-22

*sigh* — Ages 18–22? The oldest Millennials are almost 40.
There wasn't any push for trades, all the advice from parents and teachers was "go to college and get a degree, any degree!" with an implied 'no matter the cost' and 'or you'll end up flipping burgers!', which is utterly ironic because when Millennials relate the difficulties of the job-market they're told "take anything, even if it's flipping burgers!" — See how there's no winning there?

As to your 'fake' vs 'real' success, I cannot disagree that there are illusions of success, but I think you're failing to recognize the point I was making: many Millennials ought to be in Senior positions now, with the attendant experience, and a huge portion simply aren't having been "let go" during Corona-chan instead of having a respectable/elevated position. (Take a look at STEM job-postings now; seeing 5 and 10 year required experience, for entry level jobs, is pretty common.)

And there are many places where Millennials are brushed-off: "hey, Boss, we should use Ada because it's good for high-reliability systems and our not-even-six-month-old Product-X is handling medical records and is written in PHP" is met with "We don't have time to do it right." — "I'm the Sr. Software developer here and I'd like to do a system-wide upgrade of our software that was written haphazardly over 30 years into a coherent, designed software package" is met with "just keep the computers and network working, oh and don't do any/much software development."

map wrote:However you may feel about millenials, the reality is that they have it very tough, and probably tougher than every previous generation. This is why they are so angry. They've been missing many of the same milestones of their parents and that is certainly a crisis.
This is exactly my point.
Even worse, they're blamed for everything that they're not succeeding at: Oh, you're living with your parents because the economy crashed and you were unable to find a job before your life savings ran out? LOSER!!

Hammerli 280 wrote:On a more serious note, I've observed for the last thirty years that many people are terrified of any sort of competition. The idea of pitting their skills against someone else's in ANY type of competition has them running in fear.
It's not the competition, it's the rule-changes in the middle of the game to make it a game of Heads I win, Tales you lose where you're on the losing side.

Blogger Chip Hazard September 26, 2020 12:38 PM  

In other trophy news, I see that Kanye West, my current favorite lunatic celebrity boss nig-gah, posted a vid of him pissing on/in his Grammy Award.

Blogger Laconic September 26, 2020 12:58 PM  

When i was 18 i said fuck it and became a woodsman. Your participation trophy out there is a yellowjacket sting,bramble sceapes, poison oak rash, spider bite etc if you fuck up. After learning how to not get screwed in the woods, now my trophys are amazing experiences with foxes cougars bears elk deer bobcats etc...
We need more youth to get roughed up in the woods. Ive seen 1 week of camp almost graduate (not completely) a gamma. 1 week in the woods

Blogger Greg Hunt September 26, 2020 2:06 PM  

@kurt9
"How Not to be a Millennial"
I wonder what Millenials and younger think of genx from the outside, and if there's anything we could still do to correct that?

Blogger Ominous Cowherd September 26, 2020 2:33 PM  

Greg Hunt wrote:I wonder what Millenials and younger think of genx from the outside, and if there's anything we could still do to correct that?
Whatever they're thinking: help your children, help their friends, train and mentor younger cow orkers or employees, try to build something and pass it on to the younger generations.

Blogger bw September 26, 2020 4:07 PM  

The Queen Speaks


has proven to be insidious and psychologically devastating

....its purpose

Blogger SacrificialLamb September 26, 2020 7:52 PM  

I doubt that Millennials or Zoomers think about us Gen-Xers at all. Nobody notices us, and nobody cares....and that's probably for the best.

Blogger L.Fairchild September 27, 2020 12:00 AM  

Could this phenomenon be linked to the rise of women's power and influence in society? Women - especially weak women (eg divorced boomers/single moms/the feminism-indoctrinated hordes etc.) cannot understand the male nature of competition. To this day I feel bad for the losing team when I catch the occasional hockey game - I feel even worse when I watch children play. Women have an overwhelming instinct to make everything fair and equal, which explains participation trophies perfectly. Makes sense that as more and more women became single mothers, and more and more women sat in positions of power, this female instinct began to infect competition.

Blogger sammibandit September 27, 2020 4:29 PM  

I doubt that Millennials or Zoomers think about us Gen-Xers at all. Nobody notices us, and nobody cares....and that's probably for the best.

Nah. Gen x is cool in the essential meaning of cool. But you don't just walk up to someone and gush about how cool they are.

Blogger OneWingedShark September 28, 2020 6:34 PM  

Greg Hunt wrote:I wonder what Millenials and younger think of genx from the outside, and if there's anything we could still do to correct that?
I'm on the cusp of Millennial and X, so I get to see from both sides.
I pretty well enjoyed when I could mentor (or even just encourage) somebody younger, rare as that is for me. And when I was mentored/taught I genuinely appreciated the efforts, so long as I wasn't being talked down to, as that sort of mentorship means that you matter to them.

I think X has been ignored for so long they kind of expect to be the "Gray Man".
I think Millennials have been ground down so long they expect "more beatings and betrayals" from the people and organizations that are ostensibly on their side and, because of this, will be genuinely touched by somebody who can sit and empathize or (even better) actually be on their side and help them.

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