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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Responsible Puppet on Hell

More or less, anyhow:

So you’re in an elevator by yourself and it jams and you’re stuck. A voice comes over the elevator speaker and says: "We are working to get you out. This should take about an hour, during which we won’t be able to communicate with you. In the meantime, you can listen to music. But unfortunately you’ll only be able to listen to one song. Here are your options: Tiny Tim’s “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” or any song by X (an artist/band/musician). Please choose the song."

They give you 15 seconds to answer. You can say ‘Tiptoe’, name a song by the group or if you just want a random song by the named group, or say ‘Surprise me.’ You can only answer ‘Surprise me’ to three of them.

So which song would you say if they asked ‘Tiptoe’ or a song from . . .

Chicago: Attempt suicide by gnawing at my wrists. I don't know any actual songs by Chicago, I just know I hate Pete Cetera with the white-hot radioactive fury of a thousand suns. They are a crime against humanity.

Beatles: Strawberry Fields Forever

Styx: Come Sail Away

Michael W Smith: No clue.

Elvis: A Little Less Conversation. The Junkie XL mix.

AC/DC: Shoot to Thrill

Billy Joel: See Chicago. Oh, I suppose Pianoman is all right.

Beach Boys: Surprise me

Michael Jackson: Dirty Diana

Prince: Alphabet Street

Paul McCartney: I categorically refuse to name the one song I know he did with Michael Jackson.

Bruce Springfield: Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I'm not a Springsteen fan, but he tore that one up. How do you tear up a Christmas song? Kind of impressive.

Electric Light Orchestra: Don't Bring Me Down is the only song I know. To be honest, I tend to get them a little confused with REO Speedwagon.

But three preferred songs to listen to when trapped in an elevator for fifteen minutes would be: The Orb: Earth (Gaia), David Sylvian: Before the Bullfight, Enigma: Sadeness. Trancy and ambient is ideal in those circumstances, I believe.

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