Sunday, September 15, 2013

VPFL Week 1

93 Greenfield Grizzlies (1-0)
87 Mounds View Meerkats (0-1)

85 RR Redbeards (1-0)
52 Suburban Churchians (0-1)

80 '63 Mercury Marauders (1-0)
55 Bailout Banksters (0-1)

90 Boot Hill Hangmen (1-0)
63 Bradford Gamma Rays (0-1)

90 Fromundah Cheezheads (1-0)
84 Bane Sidhe (0-1)

Not a bad start for the Meerkats, just not a winning one. It's hard to recover from being down 51 points thanks to The Game Where Peyton Went Off, but I had a chance and if Arian Foster and Alfred Morris hadn't both choked in the late games, I would have won.

In the NFL, the continued inability of Christian Ponder to play quarterback in a manner consistent with an NFL starter looks to spell out a long and tedious season for the Vikings. He has a decent line now, he has some decent receivers, and he has Adrian Peterson. A middle-aged nun should be able to throw for 200 yards and 2 TDs in that situation, but Christian Panic can't even manage to throw a ball out of bounds without throwing an interception.

As far as the other teams go, New England looks weaker than in recent years, while Kansas City looks like it could be one of this year's surprise playoff teams. Granted, Jacksonville is bad, but even a bad team is usually capable of making it past midfield against another bad team. Andy Reid and Alex Smith are both significant upgrades from last year.

This is, as always, your weekly NFL thread.



Blogger Nate September 15, 2013 10:36 AM  

Look at it this way Vox... you suffered facing Peyont The Week He Went Off... but you caught me on a week where Brady's WRs had more drops than the average monsoon.

Anonymous Susan September 15, 2013 10:46 AM  

Unless the name was changed this year, you have misspelled the name of Bane's team. That does not bode well for future football karma for the Meerkats. Just saying. And you know he would too.

Also, would it be possible for you to put up a complete list of who is each team's manager/coach for this year? It might be helpful for the new readers and non players. TIA

Anonymous VD September 15, 2013 10:48 AM  

Corrected, thanks.

Anonymous G.Veil September 15, 2013 10:58 AM  

It's ironic that even with as weak as the Patriots look they could still easily be 10-6 or 11-5 with how their schedule stacks up. I don't know the composition of your fantasy team Vox but being that close when your opponent had Peyton is pretty darn impressive. I would have to say that Gabbert and Ponder if they continue to be underwhelming might go down as two of the biggest draft busts in recent memory. On the bright side everyone seems to think that this years crop of quarterbacks should be pretty good, so maybe the Vikes end up with a high enough draft pick to grab a decent quarterback.

Blogger Nate September 15, 2013 11:05 AM  

You have no idea how much I hope the Vikings draft Johnny Football. oh I would laugh and laugh.

Blogger Sean September 15, 2013 12:26 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous Anonymous September 15, 2013 12:45 PM  

@Nate - would your laughter be for the vikings who would have to endure JF, or for poor JF who would be stuck with the Vikings - I find humor on both sides - a win-win IMO.

Anonymous Billy September 15, 2013 12:49 PM  

Two words, Caste Football.

Anonymous Peter Garstig September 15, 2013 12:59 PM  

Ponder is going to tear the Chicago defense apart.

Anonymous Laz September 15, 2013 1:05 PM  

I was surprised that the 'boys offensive line held up like they did last week but, it's pretty weak when your defense scores 2 touchdowns and you only win by 5 points. Kansas is looking way better than the Giants right now. I don't see it being a fun day for Cowboys fans.

Anonymous zen0 September 15, 2013 1:10 PM  

Philly offense is good to watch because they hand the ball to the official after the play so he can place it quickly. Very polite and efficient.

Civilization 1
Feral Savagery 0

Blogger Cinco September 15, 2013 1:46 PM  

Minnesota's WR's can't get open and the bears defensive line has AP stuck, not looking good for the Vike's. Chicago is looking a lot more tough than I expected this year...

Blogger Cinco September 15, 2013 2:16 PM  

There is the Pomder we know and love! Go Bears!

Anonymous Daniel September 15, 2013 2:18 PM  

Ponder's an automaton - there is absolutely nothing he does that can't be anticipated. If all he did was not turn it over, the Vikings would have a chance to win without ever scoring a single passing touchdown. Not a great chance, but a far better chance than they do with Ponder throwing his high-risk 3-yard out patterns to the sidelines.

Lucy Van Pelt would be a less frustrating quarterback.

Anonymous Just Mark September 15, 2013 3:00 PM  

Johnny Football would not be high on my list of draft picks. He takes too many risks that will burn his team in the NFL, he doesn't strike me as a leader of men and his off field conduct strikes me as imprudent. Further, my guess is that he will spend significant time on IR given his playing style.

Anonymous YIH September 15, 2013 3:01 PM  

The MIA/IND game has been good so far but game 2? Barf, I'm Jacksonvile 'home market'; Means I'm stuck with them at Raiders.
But hey, the Vikes are holding their own so far...

Anonymous Josh September 15, 2013 3:08 PM  

Johnny Football would not be high on my list of draft picks. He takes too many risks that will burn his team in the NFL, he doesn't strike me as a leader of men and his off field conduct strikes me as imprudent. Further, my guess is that he will spend significant time on IR given his playing style.

Do you also want him to get off your lawn?

Anonymous YIH September 15, 2013 3:59 PM  

Ponder this: He's actually resembling a Quarterback

Anonymous Brad September 15, 2013 4:11 PM  

Ponder still has 10 sec to pull it out!

Anonymous Vidad September 15, 2013 4:18 PM  

GO FINS! Knocked off the Colts. Oh yeah.

Anonymous VD September 15, 2013 4:23 PM  

That was the worst coaching choke job I've seen in a while. How on EARTH does Frazier not go for the first down on 4th-and-3 inside the 10? What good does another field goal do? Especially when, after kicking the FG, you have to kick off to HESTER who already has 249 kickoff return yards?

Infuriating. Absolutely infuriating.

Anonymous jm September 15, 2013 4:56 PM  

Now it's the Saints and Creamsicles' turn to get delayed. The NFL is SO gay now.

I blame Obama.

Anonymous cherub's revenge September 15, 2013 5:03 PM  

How on EARTH does Frazier not go for the first down on 4th-and-3 inside the 10?

Because he's a Lovie Smith, defensive coordinator playing as head coach clone.

Blogger Nate September 15, 2013 5:17 PM  

well.... At least Pollard knocked Andre Johnson out... so whenever the stupid houston fans... both of them... start showing videos of AJ beating up Finnegan... I can post links of AJ laying on the sideline unconscious.

Anonymous YIH September 15, 2013 5:18 PM  

Hey I at least give my local CBS station credit, at least they apologized for Jacksonvile (with animated .gif for your viewing and saving pleasure).
Now if only the NFL would do the same...

Anonymous Curlytop September 15, 2013 7:06 PM  

Nate September 15, 2013 5:17 PM
well.... At least Pollard knocked Andre Johnson out... so whenever the stupid houston fans... both of them... start showing videos of AJ beating up Finnegan... I can post links of AJ laying on the sideline unconscious.

And I'm totally ok w that considering I picked up Hopkins on Round 15 as a my lottery pick....Andre can stay injured if those numbers are what I am looking at in the coming weeks

Anonymous The Original Arrogant Pirates Fan September 15, 2013 8:03 PM  

"Infuriating. Absolutely infuriating."

Todd Haley is secretly coaching the offense. It's yet another Black Op. Get it, Black Op?

Anonymous The Original Arrogant Pirates Fan September 15, 2013 8:34 PM  

Okay... some quit hits on the Steelers and the NFL because I don't feel like typing much.

1. The team is in disarray. Firing Arians was a strategic blunder that Tomlin's career most likely won't recover from. In fact, I think Tomlin is having a mild nervous break down. If you listen to his incoherent press conferences it's pretty obvious. Either that or his teleprompter operator is on strike. It started last year and has gotten worse - I particularly liked last year's press conference after the SD game where he basically said that Rivers epic-ass owned the team and there was nothing they could do about it.

2. Let's be clear on Todd Haley. He is an affirmative-action-half-white-Rooney-Rule-hometown-boy-hire. Arians was a convenient target to be scourged by the media so Haley could be installed. So he was run out of town and brings a team back from the brink, successfully trains a rookie QB and wins Coach of the Year. Go figure huh? Anyway, Haley is a jerk and an incompetent. The Dink Dunk & Junk offenses is hilariously backward as it's designed to quick release so BB won't get sacked 8 times a game and open up the running game. Instead it brings the defense closer to the box which impedes the running game, does not mesh well with the current rules that favor a wide open 60/40 pass attack and for a QB like BB will increase the sack rate because he's going to hold onto the ball no matter what. If I can figure this out, how can a modern professional NFL staff not?

3. I would have moved Pouncey to left tackle and kept Legursky, was was a more than competent replacement at Center. Yes, I know, Pouncey is not a natural left tackle. But Mike Adams is not a natural at any position on the line which was quite obvious. On the personnel moves... the Steelers release Legursky, f-up the Harrison deal, didn't invest in Wallace is is having a monster season already for Miami, cut Dwyer who they had to resign... it just goes on and on.

4. The game against Cincy is tricky. On paper, the Bungles should wipe the field with them. But Pittsburgh has done well historically at Bungles Stadium whatever it's called and Cincy didn't exactly dress to impress in Chicago last week. But if the Bungles have a big game it's basically game over for the Steelers.

5. As I stated years ago the helmet illegal hit rules are stupid, detract from the game and are causing increased lower body injuries. Serious ones. The helmet to helmet rule is stupid for this reason: In a Gladiator Game, people are going to get hurt. That's why it's a Gladiator game. Deal with it. Judges in America 50 years ago would have said exactly that in a lawsuit: "Son, if you are going to make tens of millions running around with inflated rubber, then you may just have to deal with spending the rest of your life in a wheelchair feeding pigeons at the nursing home."

6. SNF's opening song and dance routine with Carrie Underwood is terrible. Even her redneck ghetto jean shorts don't show off the legs very well lol. NBC has taken a massive step backward in their presentation which improved dramatically over the years since its inception. If you recall the original SNF set looked like it was made of Wal-Mart furniture, that stupid ticker thing ran in the background, Jerome Bettis talked like he had a mouth full of marbles and the music was this annoying ding-dong bell music crap that sounded like a bad rendition of the Jurassic Park soundtrack.

7. The Titans will sneak up on a few more teams. Congratulations Nate, even though they lost. Oh and I agreed 100 percent with your response to my comments about the Titans-Steelers game. The Titans disrespect for the Steelers offense and defense was breathtaking but justified. They were practically allowing Pittsburgh to move the ball just so they could burn up time on the clock. Just amazing.

8. Bills and Dolphins 2-0. Things could get really interesting in the always competitive AFC East.

Anonymous Daniel September 15, 2013 9:01 PM  

Vikings would have held the Bears to worse field position by onside kicking every time. Heck, they might have recovered one or two.

Anonymous Huckleberry - est. 1977 September 15, 2013 9:27 PM  

Oh no, its raining.
Quick, kids, lets all take cover in Goodell's SUV!
They're all a bunch of vaginas; big weeping vaginias.

Anonymous YIH September 15, 2013 9:28 PM  

Stat of the day:
Points scored so far by Denver: 90
Points scored so far by Jacksonvile: 11
My cats are offended by a team known as the Jaguars.

Anonymous trk September 15, 2013 9:55 PM  

rain in Seattle, go figure

Blogger Nate September 15, 2013 11:46 PM  

". Oh and I agreed 100 percent with your response to my comments about the Titans-Steelers game. "


You're taking this worse than I thought. Look mate... Tomlin will survive this Haley mess. They'll fire Haley and keep Tomlin. Because that's the right thing to do... and the Steelers Organization almost always does the right thing. Also... if they were to fire Tomlin... he would be unemployed for about 13 seconds before someone snatched him up. Where as if they fired Haley... he'd be washing cars in southern Wyoming for at least a year before he got on as a High School QB coach.

Anonymous YIH September 15, 2013 11:46 PM  

The pussification of the NFL is almost complete.
All that's left is the cancellation/delay of games due to snow or fog
Maybe an open-air stadium wasn't the best idea for the Vikes

Anonymous Mike LaRoche September 16, 2013 12:46 AM  

Haha, the 49ers lost.

Anonymous Roundtine September 16, 2013 2:18 AM  


Anonymous Barko Ramius September 16, 2013 3:32 AM  

SF player turned his head when making a tackle and wound up stunned, and likely concussed. From the replay, you can see he was clearly trying to avoid leading with his helmet.
And this "last guy to hit" rule is a joke. The NFL is creeping toward European soccer with regards to fouls. It's pathetic.

All these rules are designed to give the officials full control of the outcome of games. We saw it in baseball with the strike zone, in Basketball with the hand check rule, in Hockey with..well,..Bettmann.
It's just sports but that dont mean TPTB aren't scoping it. In fact, the NFL is probably a more target rich environment than Syria right now.

Anonymous Barko Ramius September 16, 2013 3:35 AM  

Post got nipped at the top..

These personal fouls calls are becoming ridiculous. So are the new rules concerning leading with the helmet.
As much as I despise Collingsworths, he brought up a good point tonight after a ..

Blogger burgmeister September 16, 2013 7:44 AM  

I think Musgrave should learn a thing or two from Arians. I like this man, he has guts and hands the game to his players...and they respond. That's leadership.

If Palmer and Fitz stay healthy, I wouldn't rule them out making the play-offs.

Anonymous Daniel September 16, 2013 10:50 AM  

Seattle is getting way too much love and hype by the teevee guys again. I could be dead wrong (I usually am) but

a) SF is not that good. Their defense got a few breaks and still didn't exactly contain Green Bay. Their offense right now is far more vanilla, and not executing as well as they did last year when Kaepernick first came on board.

b) They scored 12 against Carolina. Twelve.

c) They scored 5 in the first half.

We aren't talking about the 85 Bears here. We are talking about a team with the loudest fans (or close to it), the best home-field advantage, and Russell Wilson's TD rate has dropped in half compared to last year?

Maybe they'll get the offense rolling. But I'm not seeing it yet. Green Bay, Denver, Chicago, Houston, even New England look like they are superior to Seattle's offense. Seattle should be raising about as many questions as the Chiefs or New Orleans, but I'm not hearing them.

I do like how Seattle plays on defense...but, despite the cliche, defense doesn't win championships.

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