Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Mailvox: the answer is obvious

Vile Faceless Minion #141 alerts us to this amusing entry at Engadget:
Self-promotion advice with John Scalzi!

#DearVeronica ,In this tech age, how should a novice novelist make an impression and promote his book to grab attention of a lot of people?
— Rajat Joshi (@MrRajatJoshi) August 14, 2015

John Scalzi, author of some of my favorite books, is here to help Rajat out!
The answer, as everyone who has read SJWAL knows, is easy: lie about your blog traffic.

After all, who doesn't want to read a book by someone with 2 MILLION MONTHLY PAGEVIEWS!



Blogger Daniel November 11, 2015 2:30 PM  

Self-promotion advice from a bonafide charlatan! Dude should be a Coen brothers character.

I always picture McRapey as the "These boys is not white! These boys is not white! Hell, they ain't even old-timey." guy from O Brother. Yes, the busybody scammer who gets literally ridden out of town on a rail.

Blogger Dystopic November 11, 2015 2:35 PM  

Scalzi is the poster child for disturbed Gamma male. His antics are amusing in a gallows humor sort of way.

Blogger newanubis November 11, 2015 3:14 PM  

Yo johnny, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

Anonymous Donn #0114 November 11, 2015 3:33 PM  

Yeah, two million page views. That's the ticket. It's the pictures of my wife, Morgan Fairchild (whom I've seen naked) that brings in the page views.

Blogger VD November 11, 2015 3:45 PM  

Vox, did you want to discuss your declining numbers?


Oct 2014: 1,495,126
Jan 2015: 1,485,232
Apr 2015: 1,907,664
Jul 2015: 1,779,157
Oct 2015: 1,737,829

Scalzi cracked one million once. He gets half that now.

Anonymous Rigel Kent November 11, 2015 3:46 PM  

2 million? Ha, that's nothing. My blog gets 2 zillion page-views. A day!

Blogger Josh November 11, 2015 3:55 PM  

Is the April bump from Sad/Rabid Puppies?

Blogger Rabbi B November 11, 2015 3:56 PM  

Scalzi cracked one million once. He gets half that now.

The new math is hard.

Anonymous BigGaySteve November 11, 2015 3:59 PM  

2 million? Ha, that's nothing. My blog gets 2 zillion page-views. A day!

That's nothing you should have seen Obama's numbers from when he laid on his belly in the Chicago Gay Bathhouses.

Blogger David of One November 11, 2015 4:05 PM  

It would seem from that black and white picture at Engadget that if Scaldlipzi had a thick little mustache just under his nose he might resemble a very ugly mons veneris or a more than somewhat hitlerian archtype ... Auchtang!

If the Fuhrer had a website ...

Just saying ...

Ow! I think I burnt my imagination with that one. Dang! That's gonna leave a mark.

Anonymous Bz November 11, 2015 4:12 PM  

Off topic: Sweden closes borders to refugees. "No mas." The political subvocalisation seems to be that it's a short term temporary thing though.


Blogger Mr.MantraMan November 11, 2015 4:24 PM  

Scalzi; Destroyer of Tor's bottom (line that is)

Blogger praetorian November 11, 2015 4:26 PM  

OT - Thanks to all the Ilk veterans, even though I'm not 100% sure which side was right anymore...

Blogger Kallmunz November 11, 2015 4:36 PM  

ach du lieber Himmel! What the hell happened to Veronica Belmont? I used to love watching her and Patrick Norton on Tekzilla, she was a doll, and a lot of fun to boot! Now she has that whole feminist look about her, I had to look up her profile just to make sure it was the same person. Gentlemen, don't let your daughters do this to themselves.

Anonymous Cheops November 11, 2015 4:44 PM  

But Vox, how should I make an impression and promote my book to grab attention of a lot of people?

And are you ever going to get around to your Castalia backlog? We've been waiting on those novels here.

Blogger Cataline Sergius November 11, 2015 5:00 PM  

What else did he do besides that?

Did Instapundit make that big a difference?

Blogger Cataline Sergius November 11, 2015 5:03 PM  

Admittedly he isn't doing all that much better than any mid lister, now that I think of it.

He has gotten a couple of Hollywood things chucked his way but none of those are exactly, The Martian.

Blogger automatthew November 11, 2015 5:34 PM  

BigGaySteve, you're crossing the line again.

Blogger Josh November 11, 2015 5:55 PM  

BigGaySteve, you're crossing the line again.

How dare you microagression him! Check your privilege you homophobic cis-het!

Blogger VD November 11, 2015 7:25 PM  

Is the April bump from Sad/Rabid Puppies?


Anonymous Giuseppe The Kurgan November 11, 2015 8:43 PM  

Scalzi makes me think there is a part of the Bible missing. Something about slapping a little bitch like him twice.

Blogger JartStar November 11, 2015 10:03 PM  

He needs the numbers now more than ever since he has that contract.

Anonymous BGS November 11, 2015 10:28 PM  

BigGaySteve, you're crossing the line again.

Sorry I would have made a 6 million joke but I recently realized I might have some Jewish genes.

I realized when I stopped by a McDonalds today to pick up a free big mac veterans day offer.

Anonymous Original H November 12, 2015 1:19 AM  

Bz said: "Sweden closes borders to refugees."

This is not accurate. They are instituting border checkpoints, but will still accept asylum seekers. The change is just that the asylum application now has to be filed at the border. They still let them in.

Anonymous TroperA November 12, 2015 6:56 AM  

It seems Scalzi isn't the only one lying this Veteran's Day:

Anonymous TroperA November 12, 2015 6:57 AM  

Whoops. Try this image instead:

Anonymous Bz November 12, 2015 6:59 AM  

Thanks for the correction; I overstated the case regarding Sweden, but it's still quite a change from yesterday. Will be interesting to see how it works out.

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