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Thursday, November 12, 2015

My personal attendance policy

I understand that some SJW on wheels (and does anyone know if "wheelchair" trumps "black", "woman", or "cyberviolence survivor" in the SJW hierarchy?), recently followed the lead of Mr. Scalzi and others in announcing a Personal Policy regarding future convention attendance.

Since attendance polices are apparently now a Thing in the science fiction world, I decided I would be remiss should I fail to do likewise. Therefore, I am pleased to present the official Vox Day Personal Convention Attendance Policy:
  • Offer an public statement on the convention website, and a written statement to me submitting to my Supreme Dark Lordship and offering specifics about tributes and sacrifices that will be offered to honor me throughout the course of the event.
  • A sign over the venue entrance no smaller than 1.6 meters by one meter with the following words inscribed: "SJW delenda est".
  • All SJWs in attendance are to be clearly identified with rainbow badges and bar codes. Their next-of-kin shall be notified by convention personnel within 36 hours of the end of the event.
  • One throne of bones constructed with four silvered skulls; the seat and backrest should be either royal blue or blood-red velvet. The throne shall be placed stage right with sufficient room behind for no less than four armored minions.
  • An Unsafe Space which only Evil Legion of Evil members, minions, and their invited victims are permitted to enter. It must be equipped with an original Intellivision system and no less than 10 games (not including Las Vegas Poker & Blackjack), a Nespresso machine with Ristretto and Canella capsules, 12 bottles of Prosecco Conegliano Valdobbiadene Superiore DOCG, and either a) a floor-drainage system or b) a large, high-quality wet vac.
I am, granted, only the Supreme Dark Lord of the Evil Legion of Evil, with a mere 456 Vile Faceless Minions at my every whim, beck, and call, but I’m a cruel and arrogant voice that can no longer use my money and time to support conventions that cannot take the time to ensure that my dark reign is not properly recognized. You literally cannot pay me to attend a convention without a submission policy.


Labels: ,

110 Comments:

Blogger jayb November 12, 2015 6:12 AM  

No knives? I assume we bring our own.

Anonymous Pope Cleophus I November 12, 2015 6:38 AM  

An original Intellivision and prosecco!
It makes me want to be a VFM!

Blogger Rantor November 12, 2015 6:43 AM  

Oh well, was hoping to man the Castalia House booth in Helsinki.... Think they would allow traditional Viking weaponry?

Blogger hightecrebel November 12, 2015 6:45 AM  

And now I'm trying to figure out how to start a convention...

Does the sign need to be board style, or is a banner acceptable (properly blooded, of course)?

VFM #0071

Blogger VD November 12, 2015 6:47 AM  

No knives? I assume we bring our own.

VFM don't need knives. They have teeth. And claws.

Does the sign need to be board style, or is a banner acceptable (properly blooded, of course)?

A banner is acceptable.

Blogger Rantor November 12, 2015 6:54 AM  

You see, I have this great Viking sword, but no scabbard, so I mostly just walk around with it looking menacing...

Anonymous Hong Hu Shi November 12, 2015 6:57 AM  

I was gonna play croquet with it, but you can have this SJW skull I... uhh... found somewhere.

Blogger Shebooganbits November 12, 2015 6:57 AM  

Ah victimhood poker. The winning card is the ace of spades, but beware the
rule changes depending on the weather, sjw mood etc. I don't believe victimhood poker has ever been properly codified, but it certainly is more complex than Fizzbin.

Sounds like a topic for a blog post?

Blogger Dave November 12, 2015 6:59 AM  

> b

My thumbs hate you.

Blogger Dave November 12, 2015 7:00 AM  

An original Intellivision

My thumbs really do hate you.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan November 12, 2015 7:12 AM  

I nominate Mizzou as the first location of your convention, plenty of SJW orclets to sacrifice.

Blogger Bodichi (0031) November 12, 2015 7:13 AM  

Any chance you'll let us know why you chose the imperial fists as the stand in for the VFM and Lysander as yours?

Blogger Jack Ward November 12, 2015 7:25 AM  

These demands seem, on the face of it, very reasonable and restrained. The Dark Lord is not always known for restraint. Those in receipt of these conditions should feel honored and relieved.

Anonymous PhillipGeorge©2015 November 12, 2015 7:26 AM  

Alex Jones may not be all that he seems or even half of it but there is some good work going on at PrisonPlanet.com:
Perhaps you've already seen this, maybe not? but it was eight minutes of my life I think worth the investment. ps. We all stand on the shoulders of giants/ dead stuff, skeletons, skulls, a heap of bones, thrones on bones. fading parchment. If we don't we don't. The view isn't the same..One hundred eighty nine thousand so far got the message. As refugee Norway centers burn. cheers

Blogger YIH November 12, 2015 7:29 AM  

I understand that some SJW on wheels (and does anyone know if "wheelchair" trumps "black", "woman", or "cyberviolence survivor" in the SJW hierarchy?)
From what I've seen the answer would be ''maybe''.
Think point system: White, gentile, able-bodied, heterosexual male = Zero, or as they like to call us, the scum of the earth.
Obvious handicap (wheelchair or shades and white cane): +1
Powered wheelchair or seeing eye dog: +1
If a military veteran: +1
If Asian, +1 and so on.
Night Court satirized that once, the affirmative action diversity champ was the black woman, in a powered wheelchair.

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 7:42 AM  

Why is it always the formal away golden armor? I very much prefer the cold steel and bones of the home uniforms.

Then... I am a traditionalist.

Blogger VD November 12, 2015 7:43 AM  

Any chance you'll let us know why you chose the imperial fists as the stand in for the VFM and Lysander as yours?

You appear to believe that I know considerably more about Warhammer than I do.

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 7:43 AM  

"VFM don't need knives. They have teeth. And claws."

We don't NEED .50 cal ARs either. Yet here they are.

Blogger VD November 12, 2015 7:43 AM  

Why is it always the formal away golden armor?

It's polite to dress up, or so I am told.

OpenID bc64a9f8-765e-11e3-8683-000bcdcb2996 November 12, 2015 7:47 AM  

"....and either a) a floor-drainage system or b) a large, high-quality wet vac.".
Oh NOW you're just throwing in a "no brown M&Ms" clause on the rider just to see if they've actually read the contract!
CaptDMO

Blogger GracieLou November 12, 2015 7:50 AM  

SJW Outrage For the Differently-Abled! used to be a big thing. Valuable credit hours, which I will be paying for forever, were wasted on it during 4 years of teacher school. A person wouldn't have minded if the classes actually taught how to teach "Differently Abled" children. Instead "ADVOCACY!!" and the vital, vital importance of "People First Language" were the stressed. Even the links to "Adaptive Art Supplies!" were fake. Total scam, but SJWs always lie, of course.

SJW advocates have moved on from cripples to sodomites, to pedophiles, to Moslems. Black Power's made a come-back due the heathenish nature of today's yoot. Cripples got thrown under the bus because let's face it, they have the annoying habit of being Christian. MLK type black folk are annoyingly Christian. All totally useless to the SJW. An example of their commitment to Ableism: One SJW said my religious experiences were nothing but a byproduct of my epileptic brain damage. I wasted valuable oxygen explaining the difference between seizure (brain vomit) and a mystical meditation (deep and extremely complex thought process and coherent imagery). Nah! Brain damage. Because one time a science guy poked a temporal lobe and the person felt psychedelic. Well no shit Sherlock, the hippocampus is there. Nah, go stand in the corner cripple, you don't know what you're talking about.

Anonymous Athor Pel November 12, 2015 7:51 AM  

"...floor-drainage system..."

That made me laugh.

I was just glad to not see heart plugs on the list.

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 7:52 AM  

Horde.

We're not referred to as The Horde... or A Horde enough. personally I blame the gold. It looks... civilized.

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 7:55 AM  

Also... Apparently we would also like to request a Narkomed 4 anesthesia machine. and a goodly supply of succinylcholine.

Blogger Student in Blue November 12, 2015 8:08 AM  

An Unsafe Space

Colloquially known as a Danger Zone.

Blogger CM November 12, 2015 8:09 AM  

Does this guarantee attendance or does completion of this ritual only give a chance of successful summoning?

Blogger VD November 12, 2015 8:17 AM  

Does this guarantee attendance or does completion of this ritual only give a chance of successful summoning?

One does not summon the Supreme Dark Lord, much less compel him.

Anonymous Viidad November 12, 2015 8:23 AM  

Fortunately, we do compost the fallen - and drinking from skulls is infinitely more sustainable than the plastic water bottles generally used at conventions.

Blogger John Cunningham November 12, 2015 8:25 AM  

VFM #424 here--
@ Gracie Lou even most SJWs are racist bigots--WHERE IS THE LOVE AND CONCERN FOR DEAF LESBIAN ESKIMOES AND TRANSGENDERED ASIAN MIDGETS???

Anonymous WaterBoy November 12, 2015 8:26 AM  

Student in Blue: "Colloquially known as a Danger Zone."

Do you know how many SJW heart attacks you just caused by connecting the ideas of 'tailhook' and 'convention' together again?

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 8:29 AM  

"and drinking from skulls is infinitely more sustainable than the plastic water bottles generally used at conventions."

Look... my ancestors drank wine from the skulls of the dead. We are just carrying on a cultural tradition here. Lets not make a green thing out of it. That's weird.

Blogger Durandel Almiras November 12, 2015 8:34 AM  

And if they don't comply, O Dark Lord, what then? The horde demands tribute and sacrifice of some kind to honor you.

Blogger Hammerli280 November 12, 2015 8:41 AM  

O Evil Lord of Evil, what shape shall the rainbow badges of the SJWs take? Circular? Preferably positioned over their wretched hearts or other vital organs? It'll make a good aiming point.

Blogger JDC November 12, 2015 8:47 AM  

The throne shall be placed stage right with sufficient room behind for no less than four armored minions.

Four armored minions seems overkill given the nature of the antagonists. A simple buffet consisting of mac n cheese, creamed corn and tofu burgers should serve to repel any SJW advance upon the dark one.

Blogger Matthew Peak November 12, 2015 8:56 AM  

... and does anyone know if "wheelchair" trumps "black", "woman", or "cyberviolence survivor" in the SJW hierarchy?

Now this is something that truly pisses me off. I'm not allowed to simply be a man who happens to use a wheelchair to get around. No, the SJWs demand that I be a victim. And worse, be their victim. Well, with no apologies, I've taken the red pill and will oppose the SJWs until Christ calls me home. They can kiss my ... wheels.

Anonymous WaterBoy November 12, 2015 9:00 AM  

Matthew Peak: "They can kiss my ... wheels."

#NotYourRollingShield

OpenID denektenorsk November 12, 2015 9:00 AM  

Sumpreme Dark Lord,

Regarding the wheelchair bound: all things being equal, the mechanized handy-capable person will be placed higher up the oppression hierarchy. Bonus points shall be awarded for wearing diapers, being unable to communicate, or excessive drooling. However, if said oppressed person is white, straight or a male then we all know that in his or her heart of hearts they oppress PoCs simply by existing and as such the PoCs trump the mechanized oppressor in question.

Just imagine the havoc such a person can sow! For example he or she may block a narrow access point, bump into someone accidentally or run over a PoC's foot with their mobility device! We can't have that in a civilized society.

Blogger Student in Blue November 12, 2015 9:11 AM  

@Waterboy
Do you know how many SJW heart attacks you just caused by connecting the ideas of 'tailhook' and 'convention' together again?

The only word that pops up in my head when those two things come together is "furries". And they're all SJWs almost by definition.

Now with that stuck in my head, I'm off to apply bleach...

Blogger hightecrebel November 12, 2015 9:16 AM  

@38

Naval aviation convention. '91 was the big sexual assault scandal

Blogger L. Jagi Lamplighter Wright November 12, 2015 9:19 AM  

Good lord, that was funny! I laughed so hard at Unsafe Space.

Blogger VD November 12, 2015 9:19 AM  

And if they don't comply, O Dark Lord, what then? The horde demands tribute and sacrifice of some kind to honor you.

Then you may take them.

Blogger Hammerli280 November 12, 2015 9:21 AM  

@39 hightechrebel understates it. The Tailhook business was one of the first of the big SJW affairs. Very ugly. No, I wasn't there, but the fallout hit everybody associated with Naval Aviation in any capacity pretty hard.

Blogger SQT November 12, 2015 9:24 AM  

My new policy is that I will only go to cons where you are in attendance so I may join all the other VFM in your unsafe space. I'd even get my minion # just for that.

Blogger Cataline Sergius November 12, 2015 9:25 AM  


The desert winds howled, raging at uncaring sky that was as red as blood. Sand soaked waves of air slashed and ground at any bared flesh, burning with dry heat that was near to a constant thin spray of molten grit. Driving the weak, cowardly and gender confused to even deeper suicidal despair then usual.


The Black Legions of Doom marched through it, uncaring. Driven by mindless focus, utterly intent upon their goal now in sight before them. Their lord had called, so they must answer. Also there would be bourbon.


The high shrieking desert cyclones were as thick as fog and still could not drown out the vast twin fires at the entrance of the mighty glass pyramid with a light shining from it’s cap that challenged heaven. Guarded by a gigantic sphinx whose countenance suggested boredom and who looked chincy and really kind of out of place.


Oddly garbed Sentries at the gate did challenge the Vile Faceless Minions who had gathered for their reservations and then did assure them that valet parking was indeed complementary.


Upon entering the beasts of the Dread Lord, the Fallen Fans did gaze upon the legends of their people in the flesh before them..


There they beheld the faire Mercedes scantily clad, wide of smile, proud of bosom and talented of orifice. Conversing with Wright the Wise, grey of beard, sagacious of visage, unearthly beautiful in his words and rather hoping his wife wouldn’t catch him.


Passing through the casino and into the great hall the mighty champions of their people did sport and frisk for their amusement. There Giuseppe of the Kurgans mighty in his frame, hypnotic in gaze and shiny of scalp was breaking Priuses across his chest for the amusement of the topless showgirls.


Markku of Great House Catalia from the Far Northlands rode across the room atop his great team of eight, big rig yoked polar bears. Sneering in disgust at the land he was visiting but secretly planning to visit the Clark County Machine Gun Range.


Arch Strageos Kratman tall in stature, terrifying in his gaze and resplendent in the many, many rows of Army ribbons, badges, tabs, devices, hanging orders and pectoral awards splashed across the blazing glory of his Hawaiian shirt. Held forth his views on why the Marines were chumps to adopt the German School to Cataline the looking at his watch and saying I better wrap this one up and get to work.


A gong sounded and the First of Vile Minions, a bottle of bulleit 10 year in one hand, a cigar in the other and tee shirt blazoned with the motto Glock Imperfection roared, “KNEEL BEFORE YOUR QUEEN!”


The hall fell silent and the Faceless Anti-Social Injustice Warriors fell silent and turned as one. Kneeling, clenched fist upon cheap carpeting to a high empty chair. Heads bowed in silent reverence to their lord and master’s wife.

The silence was broken by a tall blonde woman off to the side saying, “I’m over here, dears.”

Blogger Bluntobj Winz November 12, 2015 9:34 AM  

Ahhhh, the Imperial Fists of the Dark Lord!!!!

Liberation shall be in our bolters, and we shall know no fear of SJW!

Blogger Student in Blue November 12, 2015 9:38 AM  

@hightecrebel
@Hammerli280

Alright, I'm back. I can't quite remember what I was doing beforehand, but since I still have the stench of bleach surrounding my head, it must've not been good.

Just took a look at the Tailhook '91 thing. Fascinating how everyone took her word and just ran with it. Standard SJW stuff even back then, with due process getting thrown out the window and innocent people getting careers ruined.

So, uh... yeah. I totally meant that whole reference to Tailhook in my first post. Yes, definitely.

Blogger GracieLou November 12, 2015 9:46 AM  

Mr. Cunningham,
Ha!!

Anonymous Viidad November 12, 2015 9:56 AM  

Nate: "Look... my ancestors drank wine from the skulls of the dead. We are just carrying on a cultural tradition here. Lets not make a green thing out of it. That's weird."

Greenwashing.

Look, maybe if we made a 1911 out of sustainably harvested mahogany and the steel from recycled HumVees, we could get a Michael Moore endorsement.

Anonymous Hrw-500 November 12, 2015 9:58 AM  

I saw this article on Breitbart who mentionned the moment where social justice jumped the shark.
http://www.breitbart.com/tech/2015/11/11/the-missouri-poop-swastika-is-the-moment-social-justice-jumped-the-shark/

Blogger TheRedSkull November 12, 2015 10:05 AM  

"drinking from skulls is infinitely more sustainable than the plastic water bottles"

Never used; only dropped once. Comes in extra small and small.

My attendance policy is one line: Dueling rights.

Because the best way to reach hearts and minds is twice on the former and once on the latter.

Blogger HardReturn¶ November 12, 2015 10:10 AM  

No flaming death heads or other pyrotechnics behind throne of bones, so venerable SDL's contract rider is modest and could be easily accommodated.

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 10:12 AM  

"The Black Legions of Doom marched through it, uncaring. Driven by mindless focus, utterly intent upon their goal now in sight before them."

See? BLACK LEGIONS. Not gold.

Blogger Chiva November 12, 2015 10:35 AM  

Fortunately, we do compost the fallen

That should make David the Good happy.

Blogger Red Jack November 12, 2015 10:50 AM  

Hmm.. Compost the fallen...

There was a chapter on that in David's book. Tried it with a bunch of spoiled.. meat. Seemed to work. The tomatoes tasted wonderful.

Anonymous Donn #0114 November 12, 2015 10:51 AM  

I'm finally in the picture. Second row big whacking sword.

Blogger praetorian November 12, 2015 10:52 AM  

rainbow badges

Armbands would be easier to identify, for eventual processing.

OpenID Jack Amok November 12, 2015 11:08 AM  

Look... my ancestors drank wine from the skulls of the dead. We are just carrying on a cultural tradition here. Lets not make a green thing out of it. That's weird.

Have we settled on whether the skulls are best gold or silver plated? I prefer silver, the gold-plated look is just so tacky 70's.

Oh, and I strongly recommend a good ventilation system to go with the wet-vac. SJWs aren't the most hygienic lot. They don't smell very good even before they've soiled themselves.

OpenID vfmshadow0342 November 12, 2015 11:12 AM  

Does the Supreme Dark Lord desire silence, war chants, or an anthem?

Blogger maniacprovost November 12, 2015 11:35 AM  

http://www.pcgamer.com/more-info-on-xcom-2s-freaky-new-enemies-the-faceless/

I think there are some interesting parallels between the VFMs and the Fs.

Anonymous Alsos November 12, 2015 11:42 AM  

After following Vox's link and reading the comments, I'm very suspicious about the veracity of the original "incident" that prompted Ness' new attendance policy.

For one, ADA has been around for 20 years, so it's not as though the venue wouldn't know about it, or more to the point, the potential lawsuit they're setting themselves up for if they don't make an attempt at 'reasonable accommodation' in a case like this. There is no way that the venue wouldn't do _something_ to address her accessibility needs re: the stage.

For another, I've participated in a number of conferences and conventions, of various types, as an attendee, presenter, and staffer. ADA exposure or no, I've never been to one where simply asking the facility staff to make a minor change to the riser setup hasn't been accommodated without fuss (by minor, I mean up to and including "can you move the whole platform about six feet thataway?" a half-hour before opening time).

The more I think about it, the more I suspect that Ness' complaint was not that a ramp was not forthcoming, but that she objected to what was offered when she discovered that the con had not (as promised) already had it set up for her. I've met at least one wheelchair user who was prone to pitch a fit if she couldn't use a ramp unassisted - if you had to give her chair a shove to get it over the lip of the ramp, or if the incline was too steep for her powered chair, or heaven forbid there wasn't a ramp even in a place where you'd not reasonably expect one and she and her chair had to be picked up and carried in, it was a grave personal insult to her and all other handicapped people and she would let you know (and keep reminding you so you didn't forget it for a second).

Just speculating, as I have no idea who this Ness person is nor was I there. But there's something about the incident that doesn't pass the smell test.

Anonymous RatDog November 12, 2015 11:58 AM  

I think I've found a theme song for VFMs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhqWHIq-aZw

Blogger VD November 12, 2015 12:02 PM  

Does the Supreme Dark Lord desire silence, war chants, or an anthem?

I tend to favor being lulled to sleep at night by the soothing sound of hundreds of feet marching in unison.

Anonymous Quartermaster November 12, 2015 12:11 PM  

I would add a hose bib and hose to the attendance specs. A garden hose would make taking care of the products of execution much easier. I'm sure the first convention you attend would have many victims.

Blogger LP999/S.I.G. Burnin' Up! November 12, 2015 12:24 PM  

Excellent. Detailed requests, dark, crimson themed to shine light upon sjws and critics. Party!

Blogger Sevron November 12, 2015 12:25 PM  

Alsos,

SJWs always lie. There's a book about that and everything. What you're perceiving is just one way in how they will literally lie about anything because feels.

Blogger LP999/S.I.G. Burnin' Up! November 12, 2015 12:28 PM  

Would any other sounds like thunder or flames serve well for the always enjoyable roasted foods? Such as happy holiday things like walnuts. Any other food requests?

Blogger Student in Blue November 12, 2015 12:36 PM  

I have a question about the Christmas treat enjoyed by VFMs, the roasted cucknuts.

I have not seen them in person, so I must ask... is it like buffalo wings in that cuckservatives obviously don't have them, or is it fresh because it is completely unused?

Or does it refer to the entire cuckservative themselves?

Blogger ajw308 (#98) November 12, 2015 12:50 PM  

Their next-of-kin shall be notified by convention personnel within 36 hours of the end of the event.
That one tells the story.

Swap the word "equality" for "hope" and this sign has a place.

Blogger Dystopic November 12, 2015 12:55 PM  

Beautiful, Supreme Dark Lord, just beautiful. Your personal attendance policy would have moved me to tears, were Vile Faceless Minions allowed the luxury of tear ducts.

May I also suggest a robust selection of proper cigars, and an acetylene torch to light them?

Blogger Were-Puppy November 12, 2015 12:58 PM  

It would be fun if the Unsafe Space was set up like that Running Man Arnold Swartzenneger movie. Then, when the wheel chair SJWs are sent into the Maze of Doom. Then, there could be points scored for things like putting a stick in the spokes of the wheel chair.

Blogger Dystopic November 12, 2015 12:58 PM  

@70: "It would be fun if the Unsafe Space was set up like that Running Man Arnold Swartzenneger movie. Then, when the wheel chair SJWs are sent into the Maze of Doom. Then, there could be points scored for things like putting a stick in the spokes of the wheel chair."

Seconded.

Blogger Were-Puppy November 12, 2015 1:05 PM  

@37 denektenorsk
Sumpreme Dark Lord,

Regarding the wheelchair bound: all things being equal, the mechanized handy-capable person will be placed higher up the oppression hierarchy. Bonus points shall be awarded for wearing diapers, being unable to communicate, or excessive drooling. However, if said oppressed person is white, straight or a male then we all know that in his or her heart of hearts they oppress PoCs simply by existing and as such the PoCs trump the mechanized oppressor in question.

Just imagine the havoc such a person can sow! For example he or she may block a narrow access point, bump into someone accidentally or run over a PoC's foot with their mobility device! We can't have that in a civilized society.
---

You could trick that Rascal out with some big bull horns on front, spiked hubcaps, and possibly mount some small grenade launcher or at least a couple shotguns.

Blogger Were-Puppy November 12, 2015 1:07 PM  

@43 SQT
My new policy is that I will only go to cons where you are in attendance so I may join all the other VFM in your unsafe space. I'd even get my minion # just for that.
---

At least they might let us watch if we go on booze runs and bring them drinks and snacks, resupply of ammo, etc.

Blogger Geir Balderson November 12, 2015 1:14 PM  

It seems very appropriate that these little SJW soirees are referred to as,,,'Cons'.

"Scalzi macht frei!"

Blogger VD November 12, 2015 1:14 PM  

May I also suggest a robust selection of proper cigars, and an acetylene torch to light them?

Merci, but I prefer an SJW on a pyre when I indulge myself with a Cubano. I find their screams relaxing.

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 1:16 PM  

"Have we settled on whether the skulls are best gold or silver plated? I prefer silver, the gold-plated look is just so tacky 70's. "

I have a silver plated skull on my desk... right now. In fact I already posted a picture of it to the Dread Ilk facebook page.

Blogger Were-Puppy November 12, 2015 1:22 PM  

@67 Student in Blue
I have a question about the Christmas treat enjoyed by VFMs, the roasted cucknuts.

I have not seen them in person, so I must ask... is it like buffalo wings in that cuckservatives obviously don't have them, or is it fresh because it is completely unused?

Or does it refer to the entire cuckservative themselves?
---

It was my impression that only the female of the species (Cucks, SJWS) had nuts.

Blogger Were-Puppy November 12, 2015 1:25 PM  

Another Unsafe Space idea: A real live Donkey Kong course!

The SJW starts at the bottom and has to climb the course. The fun is had by the various who get to roll all kind of things onto them while they are climbing the course :P

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 1:35 PM  

"Merci, but I prefer an SJW on a pyre when I indulge myself with a Cubano. I find their screams relaxing."

can we impale them in concentric circles around the pyre first? Its practically a tradition at this point you know...

Blogger Noah B #120 November 12, 2015 1:42 PM  

Floor drains should be mandatory. Gravity doesn't fail, pumps do.

Anonymous LurkingPuppy November 12, 2015 2:04 PM  

@53: Fortunately, we do compost the fallen That should make David the Good happy.

Yeah, Viidad knows. He, er, interviewed David the Good when his book came out (see http://www.castaliahouse.com/interview-with-david-the-good/ ).

One of the highlights from that interview:

David The Good: I will not answer any more questions along these lines. I am VFM, craven servant of the Dark Lord, serial number 0156…

Viidad: Are not! That’s my number!

David The Good: Surely The Most Evil One could not have made a mistake…!

Anonymous BGS November 12, 2015 2:14 PM  

Ah victimhood poker. The winning card is the ace of spades, but beware QUEENS TRUMP SPADES

That said if you think middle aged beaners cry about not getting their fair share of young white boyfriends, Queer Crips have their own complaints.

" Hookups are nearly impossible because of the amount of trust, work, communication and understanding required. When wheelchair bound, planning things in advance is a must. As the chair-bound partner, it would be impossible to get dressed and sneak out in the middle of the night or even to go to someone else’s house to hook up."
http://www.edugaytion.com/2014/05/a-glimpse-into-life-of-disabled-gay-man.html

Blogger Cataline Sergius November 12, 2015 2:21 PM  

Merci, but I prefer an SJW on a pyre when I indulge myself with a Cubano. I find their screams relaxing.

I don't know. All that rancid blubber tends to give any cigar with a Double Claro wrapper an off taste.

Blogger Didact November 12, 2015 2:28 PM  

Any Supreme Dark Overlord who uses the icon of the march of the Imperial Fists on his invitation cards, has my loyalty.

Blogger Didact November 12, 2015 2:30 PM  

@1,

That's what chainswords and power axes are for. And as you can see, the Supreme Dark Overlord himself uses an epic thunder hammer.

Blogger Didact November 12, 2015 2:40 PM  

@45,

"Kill the mutant, burn the heretic, purge the unclean"!

Actually, if I may disagree ever so slightly with the Supreme Dark Overlord, I think that perhaps a picture of Khornate Berzerkers screaming "KILL! MAIM! BURN!" would have been more fitting...

Blogger SQT November 12, 2015 2:53 PM  

@73 "At least they might let us watch if we go on booze runs and bring them drinks and snacks, resupply of ammo, etc."

I have always said I'd bring cookies- but I'll bring the booze too if it gets me in the door.

Blogger SirHamster November 12, 2015 3:37 PM  

That's what chainswords and power axes are for. And as you can see, the Supreme Dark Overlord himself uses an epic thunder hammer.

When he's not using his flaming sword.

Blogger Banjo November 12, 2015 3:39 PM  

Compost the Fallen

@Nate: What light level is needed for this Raid? Dammit, did I miss a time-gated event again?

0131

Blogger Jason November 12, 2015 3:49 PM  

The minons are Imperial Fists and you are Rogal Dorn?

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 3:57 PM  

"@Nate: What light level is needed for this Raid? Dammit, did I miss a time-gated event again?"

I see the Ilk Destiny Cult is growing...

Blogger hightecrebel November 12, 2015 4:06 PM  

@80

Drains clog. Easily. Besides, the drains/wet vac is for their convenience. What VFM would get upset about a little knee-deep blood?

VFM #0071

Blogger Nate November 12, 2015 4:19 PM  

"@Nate: What light level is needed for this Raid? Dammit, did I miss a time-gated event again?
"

Why can't we just bring the war-boars with us like last time? The hogs leave nothing and clean up all the scraps.

We can corral them in a parkinglot or something.

Blogger Ray Mota November 12, 2015 4:49 PM  

I'm good with everything EXCEPT the wet dry shop vac.

It's racist, homophobic, it lie's and it's just not very nice.

In Plain Language It Sucks."

Blogger Were-Puppy November 12, 2015 5:07 PM  

@92 hightecrebel
@80

Drains clog. Easily. Besides, the drains/wet vac is for their convenience. What VFM would get upset about a little knee-deep blood?

VFM #0071
---

I want to see how they handle all that body cheese.

Blogger VD November 12, 2015 5:53 PM  

The minons are Imperial Fists and you are Rogal Dorn?

It's a pun.

Anonymous WaterBoy November 12, 2015 7:05 PM  

VD @ 75: "Merci, but I prefer an SJW on a pyre when I indulge myself with a Cubano. I find their screams relaxing."

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, minions.

Anonymous WaterBoy November 12, 2015 7:16 PM  

Nate @ 23: "We're not referred to as The Horde... or A Horde enough."

It's been taken. Association therewith to be avoided at all costs.

I think Legion already covers it...but I also think 'murder' -- as of crows -- could fit as well.

A Murder of Minions.

Blogger Danby November 12, 2015 7:44 PM  

@98
A Murder of Minions.

+1000
Thread winner

Blogger Remo - Vile Faceless Minion #99 November 12, 2015 8:56 PM  

Intellivision boxing.... a good friend of mine had this and unfortunately my lair when I was but a festering maggot not fully grown into the full vile spawn as I am now did not feature an Intellivision game system. I'd play blue (best a defense) at first and he'd go red (best at offense). I'd last 1 round. I'd choose red and he'd switch to blue ... I'd last 2 rounds. Finally the only choice left - endurance. I'd choose green and block a lot and occasionally I'd throw a punch between clinches. Every now and then a miracle! I'd score a knockout blow quite by accident usually in round 4. Those were the days.

I'd also like to mention that, playing the wizard, the knight and I made it all the way to the dragon and yes even though the last part was fixed and the destroy walls spell was rigged so that you couldn't actually get into the dragons lair I managed to slip in past the little torches. It was then (spoiler alert) that we realized you couldn't slay the dragon and that it was only a static figure that didn't do anything. Ah the limits of 4 bit technology.

Blogger Remo - Vile Faceless Minion #99 November 12, 2015 8:58 PM  

I vote for "a slaying of minions" or maybe "an abomination of minions" or even "a reaver of minions".

Blogger campbreeze November 12, 2015 10:35 PM  

Every now and then you need a little Dharkan.

Blogger Groot November 12, 2015 11:46 PM  

@6. Rantor:
"I have this great Viking sword, but no scabbard"

So, you're Jewish? (Assuming "great" means "prized" rather than "large," and "Viking" means "aggressively barbarian.")

Blogger Groot November 13, 2015 12:17 AM  

I'm totally missing this minion thing. You're all homosexual slaves, per Pulp Fiction or something? This is very unappealing. Seriously. The knee-pads are not manly. Get up, fer chrissakes! What if your mother sees this?!

"12 bottles of Prosecco Conegliano Valdobbiadene Superiore DOCG"

My Italian is rusty, but how are rabbit testicles even relevant?

Blogger ray November 13, 2015 12:54 AM  

"I understand that some SJW on wheels (and does anyone know if "wheelchair" trumps "black", "woman", or "cyberviolence survivor" in the SJW hierarchy?)"


I believe that 'cripple' is the accepted nomenclature. And no, a white male in a wheelchair is still an oppressor. He can oppress without walking etc.

To be fair, it could be argued that a white man in a wheelchair would oppress even more, in proportion to his physical capacities. It'd be worth a couple decades of academic study.

Blogger Wayne Earl November 13, 2015 2:27 AM  

A suggestion, if I may be so bold,Supreme Evil Lord of Evil,

For the skulls, go with gold, rather then silver. Its a much more opulent look, and the silver would be put to better use against the Furries.

Furthermore, I'd recommend the traditional Royal Purple, rather then black or red.Its place in history is unequaled by any in its use for royalty, and more importantly, the coloring would be more flattering to your skin tone.

Submitted in all humility,

Wayne Earl, #417

Anonymous 0007 November 13, 2015 7:24 AM  

I can see the Supreme Evil Lord entering the room surrounded by his marching posse... in costume and complete with their own martial music being play on a GIANT(evil of course)boombox held aloft by attending servants - kinda like Billy Thomas and his female posse in Allie McBeal. Hell, Vox could probably sell tickets to his Vile Minions for who got to be part of the entourage.

Blogger Banjo November 13, 2015 9:13 AM  

Compost the Fallen

@Nate: What light level is needed for this Raid? Dammit, did I miss a time-gated event again?

0131

Blogger Remo - Vile Faceless Minion #99 November 13, 2015 10:25 AM  

@104 Groot - get with the program! Being a vile faceless minion truly rocks! We get secret meetings, we PLAN and participate in pure unadulterated EVIL. Why would you assume that this is "homo"? Was Genghis Kahn a "homo" as he carved a swath of destruction and created an empire greater than Rome? Were the 300 (yes I know there was a signifiant navy involved and it was more like 3k) Spartans simply a farce to challenge mighty Persia? It seems your jealously has gotten the better of you! Rabbit testicles?!? That is question you offer the vile?!?! Offer your backside and shut up... You will be buried with the rest.

Blogger TheRedSkull November 13, 2015 6:18 PM  

This is very simple. The armor started out gold.

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