Saturday, December 12, 2015

Ode to the Small Creature Who Takes Refuge in My Boot

Ode to the Small Creature Who Takes Refuge in My Boot

The winter is hard, that I know,
What with cold wind and ice and the snow.
And I do not dispute
That you should decide
To seek out my boot
And take shelter inside.
'Tis the season of cheer
At this time of the year;
That you should keep warm, I don't mind.
But when I am shod, I don't wish to trod
Upon items that you leave behind.



Blogger Joel December 12, 2015 10:05 AM  


"leave" behind? or this intentional license?


Blogger VD December 12, 2015 10:17 AM  

Just a mistake. Corrected.

Blogger Were-Puppy December 12, 2015 10:17 AM  

It only takes one time to find a brown recluse or a scorpion to get you banging those old shoes and boots in the garage before putting them on again

Anonymous Susan December 12, 2015 11:12 AM  

@3, That is pretty much standard procedure in my neck of the woods regarding anything hubby and I touch that is outside. Small town Oregon has lots of little friends like that who pop up when you least expect it.
The first couple of weeks after a serious cold snap starts is usually when you have to be watchful, even in the house.

Blogger Jack Ward December 12, 2015 11:27 AM  

So, Vox is into the cooking wine early today?

Blogger J December 12, 2015 11:28 AM  

That's almost Vogon in quality.

Anonymous Ryan December 12, 2015 11:31 AM  

Good one!

One time my good wife let out a shriek as a shrew jumped out of her boot and started scurrying away. I came into the room to see her pounding on the floor with the boot. Then I saw the poor little guy, laying there twitching, with some of his intestines showing from the first blow.

I said hey don't pound him into jelly!

If you've ever watched an amateur carpenter swinging and missing at a nail - that's what it was like. She slammed the boot down an inch to his right, then an inch to his left...then I was able to intercede with the dustpan.

Jolly good poem.

Blogger Geoff December 12, 2015 11:49 AM  

Although the creatures currently taking "refuge" in our midst are far more dangerous than this poem implies, I still enjoyed it very much!

Blogger Nemo Maximus December 12, 2015 12:09 PM  

I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was particularly effective, and interesting rhythmic devices, too, which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the inhumanity of the poets dark soul which contrived through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this, transcend that and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other. And one is left with a profound and vivid insight into whatever it was that the poem was about.

Furthermore, I expect that the poet writes not because underneath his mean, callous, heartless exterior, he really just want to be loved, but just to throw his mean, callous, heartless exterior into sharp relief.

Given all that, the rhythm was crap compared to the poets previous efforts, and the tone was not nearly as dark and compelling as his prior masterpiece "Bane Walks On". I suspect excess Chianti.

Blogger SciVo December 12, 2015 12:38 PM  

Labels: doggerel

Ha! Ridgeback puppy?

Blogger Hammerli 280 December 12, 2015 12:55 PM  

@10: That was my thought, too. Puppy or kitten.

Blogger Were-Puppy December 12, 2015 1:12 PM  

I'm still trying to figure how cats get in a boot, and have only their head sticking out. It's a Houdini level accomplishment :p

Anonymous Anonymous December 12, 2015 1:17 PM  

Robbie would laugh.

I once came in from the beach, went to the bathroom, dropped my trunks and sat down. I looked down and in the crotch of my swimsuit was a 2 inch scorpion.

Now, I assume that he was under the seat and fell into my trunks when I disturbed him. But it's not a pleasant thought either way.

Blogger Houston December 12, 2015 1:17 PM  

My first thought was of a future John Scalzi seeking refuge from the vibrancy in a warm but humble place. But if so, the poet would have noted a trail of droppings leading to that place.

Anonymous Stingray December 12, 2015 1:31 PM  

I would like to spend a day in your brain. I'm not sure I would survive the experience but it would be very interesting. ;)

Anonymous 141yo December 12, 2015 2:18 PM  


Blogger MichaelJMaier December 12, 2015 4:14 PM  

I had to check a dictionary but I was fairly sure doggerel has no "dog" connotation.

I do so hate mice... I have been in cleaning mode and finding their hiding spots. Now I have to borrow a carpet steamer... little bastards.

I shall slay all rodents in the future with no mercy and no remorse.

Anonymous JRL December 12, 2015 4:44 PM  

Ode To A Clever Mole

As has once been wisely said,
Each creature has a place to lay his head,
A man his house,
A nest for a mouse,
And the mole must have his hole.

Holes in the ground of industrious build,
Tunnels engineered by nature's most skilled,
Blind and hardworking excavator of field,
The leavings of his toil pushed up and hilled.

I am one to live and let live,
But he schemed to take what I would not give!
I benignly observed his work from afar,
But then he moved into the front of my yard.

The traps were deployed then,
But the mole, he did avoid them.
How cleverly did the mole avoid
The means by which he must be destroyed!

Days turned to weeks, my efforts for naught,
(Long time the manxome foe he sought)
Then one day, kaloo kalay!, the mole appeared to be caught!
The trap was tripped and the mole appeared to be caught!

But elation with dissapointment met
As the dirt was cleared away.
The trap, it was tripped, you bet,
But the mole, he had gotten away!
(Sad to say, but the mole had gotten away.)

I grumbled aloud at my fate,
Annoyed at the toil and travail,
Yet pulling the trap up I began to elate,
For the mole had been caught by the tail!
(Oh yes! The mole had been caught by the tail!)

He waved his powerful claws in the sun,
His blind eye winked with a knowing way,
For tilling your garden, I ask you no pardon!
For my execution I seek no delay!

The trespass could not be absolved.
Each, according to his nature, played his role.
The conflict was quickly resolved,
With the mole laid to rest in his hole.

Blogger SciVo December 12, 2015 4:55 PM  

@ Michael Maier:

No, it has no "dog" denotation.

Blogger John Cunningham December 12, 2015 5:44 PM  

VFM 424 here-- when I lived in Alaska, I knew a girl who dated an attorney, Steve Cowper, who later a disastrous demo governor. She said he was a master of doggerel such as,

"Reflection Upon Finding Mouse Turds in One's Wheaties Box"
O rodent vilest,who didst grunt and flee,
Did the same God who made thee, make me?

Blogger TheRedSkull December 12, 2015 6:44 PM  

Rodent easement in your boot
Leads to pellets underfoot
Winter clime should not complain
Texas toes find worse scorpain.

Mouse or rat it's all the same
From such stock all men once came.
Genes 92% are shared
So let them in, it's only fair!

(Now Vox sets his boot on fire
Housewife knows best not inquire.)

Blogger LBD December 12, 2015 7:08 PM  

Trod is past tense, it should be "to tread", but then it wouldn't rhyme, alas.

Blogger CM December 12, 2015 7:15 PM  

I almost made it into the gym with a lizard in my shoe. That's about as scary as it gets for me...

Blogger JDC December 12, 2015 7:27 PM  

There's a mouse in my boot and there are clues to be found.

Anonymous Sensei December 13, 2015 4:59 AM  

Fleeing Yuletide's frost
Well sought my boot, Friend yet how
Thy spoor doth linger

Blogger A Muser December 13, 2015 7:11 AM  

@Sensei. I was waiting for an haiku.

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