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Saturday, April 02, 2016

So brave

Lee Stranahan courageously resigns from Breitbart:
My Statement: Why I Have Resigned From Breitbart News
by Lee Stranahan

Tonight I informed the management at Breitbart News of my immediate resignation.

As a close personal friend of Andrew Breitbart, I am wicked sad to announce that as of 12:01am Eastern Time, I said “I divorce Breitbart News” three times which officially renders any contract we had null and void, including that thing I signed voluntarily about non-disparagement.

Andrew Breitbart centered his life on just one mission: fight the bullies. His only stated purpose was: more voices, not less. The solo creed he lived by was: e priebus unum. More than anything, be believed in: loyalty. The thing he cared about to the exclusion of all other things was: ‘Merica. His top priorty was: family.

That singular goal has been betrayed.

This sad chain of events leading up to me began in New York City, where Donald Trump’s campaign manager came out of nowhere and yanked me to the ground with a touch that I believe he delivered from several thousand miles away. He seems to have an invisible touch.

Rather than supporting me, Breitbart News instead published an article by me. Then, Breitbart News completely ignored my plight by calling on Mr. Lewandowsky to apologize. After that slap in face to my feeling’s face, they ignored the material that I leaked about the incident to other publications until they wrote about it immediately. I was shocked when they betrayed me by once again calling for an apology by Lewandowsky. Shockingly, at no point during my ordeal did Breitbart News refer to Donald Trump as “Hitler.”
I hope you will all join me in lighting a candle for this brave, brave man, who has suffered so much at Mr. Trump's hands.

Labels:

58 Comments:

Anonymous whipley snidelash April 02, 2016 2:52 AM  

I raze my glass of toast and thank all of those that refuse to smirk due to having a literal face off.
Fuels rush in when throttle's peel the tread.

Blogger Sean April 02, 2016 3:30 AM  

If only Ben Shapiro was still there to write a listicle of the Top Ten ninja moves Trump used to destroy female journalists.

Anonymous jOHN MOSBY April 02, 2016 3:46 AM  

You should not speak ill of the daid.
Yes, I do it. Don't make it right, but what the hell.
Nanook can go straight to hell.

Blogger Edward Isaacs April 02, 2016 3:54 AM  

It reads like an April Fools' prank.

Or am I missing a meta-joke here?

Blogger White Devil April 02, 2016 4:17 AM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger weka April 02, 2016 4:21 AM  

Michelle Malkin had a better April Fools Joke. Run for Senate with one agenda item: Put walls around boulder and Denver.

I consider the Vox and the ilk are winning the battle of the memes, for the cucks are deciding horns are both uncomfortable and make them look like tools.

http://michellemalkin.com/2016/04/01/hike-mountains-not-taxes/

Blogger LP9 Forever Solidified in Gold! Rin Integra S.I.G. April 02, 2016 4:42 AM  

Wow, wait is this satire or shall we next read from Reince Priebus about his feeelings?! It is all wait n' watch!

Anonymous Nicolai Zolnir April 02, 2016 5:37 AM  

It's obvious that Corey Lewandowski is a master of the Yellow Bamboo martial art:
https://youtu.be/WhnvETs4F6Q

He had Michelle Fields writhing on the floor in agonizing seizures - and he's just the campaign manager. Imagine the feats of supreme power that Trump himself is capable of.

Anonymous old man in a villa April 02, 2016 6:29 AM  

Sorry, I could not decipher the writers meaning at all.

I tried, I just couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"After that slap in face to my feeling’s face, they ignored the material that I leaked about the incident to other publications until they wrote about it immediately."

What does that mean?

Anonymous Steve Brown VFM#0273 April 02, 2016 6:42 AM  

@9 It was written to NOT make any sense. And it must have worked.

Blogger Mint April 02, 2016 6:58 AM  

@9 It makes fun of
Ben Saphiro's resignation letter. Ms. Fields and Saphiro said Breitbart ignored their plight to call for Mr. Lewandowsky to appologize, while in reality, Breitbart indeed issued one. So yes, the letter is confusing because the source material it based on is confusing.

Blogger Salt April 02, 2016 7:19 AM  

Breitbart News has become Mr. Yianopoulis’s own personal Pravda; a place where he often places photos of himself and as well as expressing opinions on things.

Luckily my screen cleaned up nicely.



Anonymous kfg April 02, 2016 7:20 AM  

@4: "Or am I missing a meta-joke here?"

With sarcasm so thick it's dripping from the ceiling like rain.

Blogger Xmas April 02, 2016 7:33 AM  

@9 Fields claims Breitbart News wasn't reporting updates of her story. So she leaked it to other news outlets, which forced Breitbart to report the leak as an update of the story.

In other words, Breitbart was reporting the story about their own reporter and their reporter was talking to other news organizations and not them.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan April 02, 2016 7:40 AM  

I am Hitler

Anonymous kfg April 02, 2016 7:44 AM  

No, I am Hitler.

Blogger Rantor April 02, 2016 8:10 AM  

@15, @16, take that back or no meat for you!

Anonymous SugarPi April 02, 2016 8:19 AM  

Well, now we know how Trump will take down ISIS w/o ground troops...

Blogger Cecil Henry April 02, 2016 8:33 AM  

@15, @16:

Kids, kids, don't fight.

In time we can ALL be Hitler.

Everyone will get their chance.
Its not that hard!!!

Eventually everyone will have their 15 minutes playing Hitler. There's plenty to go around.

Just give it time.

Blogger Lovekraft April 02, 2016 8:34 AM  

from the article: "After that slap in face to my feeling’s face"

Wha?

Blogger Harsh April 02, 2016 8:45 AM  

I don't know how poor Lee summoned the emotional courage to even type that letter. I feel all verklempt just reading it...

Blogger Student in Blue April 02, 2016 8:45 AM  

Of course, since Breitbart has never called Trump Hitler or Satan, they are outright supporting him.

Breitbart, you must disavow!

(/sarcasm)

Blogger Michael Maier April 02, 2016 8:46 AM  

Great piece.

The OT Michelle Malkin piece is pretty good too.

I haven't read her since Vox evilly attacked her for being the most brilliantest ovarian-possessor ever.

IIRC, she actually used to be really good on illegal immigration. Is she still so?

Blogger Mr.MantraMan April 02, 2016 9:07 AM  

Like the movie Sparticus will we all have to die like the main character and do we have enough bunker space in this country? I love the smell of burning establishment bodies in the morning.

Written by a middle aged Hitler deep in suburbia ensconced in his second floor Fuehrerbunker with a cat on his lap (middle aged American Hitler supports pet adoption btw)

Anonymous VFM 4388 April 02, 2016 9:08 AM  

I am worse than Hitler.

Blogger Nate April 02, 2016 9:19 AM  

"What does that mean? "

It means Ben Shapiro is an idiot.

Blogger Anchorman April 02, 2016 9:29 AM  

I am Hitler's second hand smoke.

Blogger Murray April 02, 2016 9:30 AM  

Anyone at Breitbart who doesn’t follow my lead and have a hysterical hissy fit should be ashamed of themselves.

Until that happens, I will be ashamed for them.


Golden. Though the comments from the people who don't get it are even funnier.

Blogger The Other Robot April 02, 2016 10:14 AM  

Making fun of Michelle Fields is just so wrong.

I mean, her ordeal was worse than being raped, worse than being made a slave for 12 years. Surely you understand?

There, I feel good now.

Blogger Jon M April 02, 2016 10:20 AM  

Good show, OTR. I also must mouth empty platitudes to prove my allegiance to the Narrative. To the Virtue Signal!

*cue Batman theme*

Anonymous BGKB April 02, 2016 10:59 AM  

I said “I divorce Breitbart News” three times which officially renders any contract we had null and void, including that thing I signed voluntarily about non-disparagement.

Ok I know this can't be serious, and I was even fooled into thinking affirmative action government workers could do this with the San Bernardino Iphone http://www.snopes.com/fbi-spills-water-iphone/

No, I am Hitler. "Everyone I don't like is Hitler." the Hugo award winning children's book

Anonymous meh April 02, 2016 11:19 AM  

Written by a middle aged Hitler deep in suburbia ensconced in his second floor Fuehrerbunker with a cat on his lap (middle aged American Hitler supports pet adoption btw)

I am both Hitler and not-Hitler. Were I in a box, I would be Schrödinger's Hitler. Hitler was a dog person anyway.

Blogger The Other Robot April 02, 2016 11:46 AM  

Relax guys. I am the ur-Hitler!

Blogger Were-Puppy April 02, 2016 11:54 AM  

@8 Nicolai Zolnir
It's obvious that Corey Lewandowski is a master of the Yellow Bamboo martial art:
---

I need to learn how to do that - I wonder if Sifu Trump is taking new students?

Blogger Were-Puppy April 02, 2016 11:57 AM  

@15 Mr.MantraMan
I am Hitler

@16 kfg
No, I am Hitler.


I almost became Hitler, browsing through Tor books in a B&N. But then I thought it best to let someone else have a turn.

Blogger Were-Puppy April 02, 2016 11:58 AM  

@18 SugarPi
Well, now we know how Trump will take down ISIS w/o ground troops...
---

A couple of Super Tweets should finish them off within a week

Anonymous VFM #6306 April 02, 2016 12:03 PM  

I did not have astral projections with that woman, Michelle Fields!

Blogger Nathan April 02, 2016 12:22 PM  

"He seems to have an invisible touch."

He takes control, and slowly tears you apart.

Blogger lowercaseb April 02, 2016 12:23 PM  

Mr. Daaaaay!

The VfMs won't let me be Hitler! We're supposed to share!

Blogger lowercaseb April 02, 2016 12:26 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Tom K. April 02, 2016 12:56 PM  

And just to add to the merriment:

"I am Hitler's breaking wind!"

Blogger The Other Robot April 02, 2016 1:10 PM  

OK, I just realized that The Other Robot spells TOR.

This means I need to change my nick to The Other Hitler!

Blogger Aeoli Pera April 02, 2016 1:33 PM  

That was glorious.

Blogger Aeoli Pera April 02, 2016 1:42 PM  

I want a gay Hitler romance book by Chuck Tingle. Is that too much to ask? I will be good all year and believe really hard.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash April 02, 2016 2:24 PM  

Cecil Henry wrote:Kids, kids, don't fight.

In time we can ALL be Hitler.

Everyone will get their chance.

Its not that hard!!!

Eventually everyone will have their 15 minutes playing Hitler. There's plenty to go around.

Just give it time.


I hate you all. You're all Hitler!

Anonymous Ronnie April 02, 2016 2:55 PM  

I always liked Andrew Breitbart, too bad Obama had him killed. His site has gone to hell in a hand-basket since his early demise.

Blogger Ron April 02, 2016 3:37 PM  

This is more disgusting than doing shots of wild turkey followed by a maynaise chaser

Im not sure anything can possibly be more disgusting than that, yet.. i am strangly drawn to trying it... Its like some horrific Lovecraftian horror pulling me against my will..

Blogger Eric April 02, 2016 4:14 PM  

What kinda adult types "wicked bad?"

Blogger lowercaseb April 02, 2016 4:32 PM  

Eric wrote:What kinda adult types "wicked bad?"

Boston...or Phillie.

Anonymous BGKB April 02, 2016 5:07 PM  

Eric wrote: What kinda adult types "wicked bad?"

A wicked bad one.

Blogger Franz April 02, 2016 8:30 PM  

No, I am Hitler.

#JeSuisHitler

Literallement!

Nous tous sommes le Hitler.

Blogger Skylark Thibedeau April 02, 2016 8:34 PM  

I'm seeing a YouTube Video where Hitler discovers Donald Trump is being called the next Füerher.

Blogger Were-Puppy April 02, 2016 9:04 PM  

@46 Ronnie
I always liked Andrew Breitbart, too bad Obama had him killed. His site has gone to hell in a hand-basket since his early demise.
---

Are you saying Andrew Breitbart was both Hitler and Joan Collins? That's quite an accomplishment.

Blogger Were-Puppy April 02, 2016 9:05 PM  

@48 Eric
What kinda adult types "wicked bad?"
---

Probably the same ones came up with that show Wicked Tuna.

Blogger Sevron April 02, 2016 9:44 PM  

Top kek, as the kids say. Tangential to the topic, anybody seen Piers Morgan (of all people) slapping "Benjie" around on Twitter? It's actually pretty good.

Blogger The Other Robot April 02, 2016 10:16 PM  

@52: Yeah, I've been looking for that one.

Anonymous Craigp April 03, 2016 8:55 AM  

"My Statement: Why I Have Resigned From Breitbart News
by Lee Stranahan"
No offens to Vox, I know Vox does a lot of other things besides writing, I've found that their is certain pathetic-ness to most (99%) of writers, lack of knowing how to do real things and have real skills, but that's just me, their should be more of a general wider disrespect to all male journalists especially if thats the only thing they do, I think

Anonymous Craigp April 03, 2016 9:25 AM  

actually who am I to judge, let me apologize to the writer community, I imagine most writers are trying to just get a pay check and make a living just like myself

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